Original subtitles

Would you want to grow up here? I have to.

I'm Alex Mack.

I was just an average kid until my first day of Junior High.

One minute I'm walking home, the next, there's a crash

and I'm drenched in some weird chemical.

And since then... nothing's been the same.

My best friend Ray thinks it's cool.

And my sister Annie thinks I'm a science project.

I can't let anyone else find out.

Not even my parents.

I know the Chemical Plant wants to find me

and turn me into some experiment.

But you know something?

I guess I'm not so average anymore.

- What's keeping Mom and Dad? - They're never late on barbecue night.

Ouch!

- Hey, Mom, hey, Dad. - This is a very exciting day.

- We have great news for Alex. - It's true.

Alexandra Louise Mack you have been chosen

Paradise Valley Chemical Plant's Kid of the Month!

- What's that? - [Annie] It's where they pick

some unsuspecting child's name out of a fishbowl

and give them a cheapo complementary beach towel.

Actually, this year, it's a windbreaker.

Annie, don't put it down, it's very special.

They do a story on the winner for the company newspaper.

A reporter's coming here Friday.

Here?

A reporter's coming here to interview Alex?

Wow, like a celebrity.

Not quite.

Come on, Annie, can't you be happy for me?

I'm sorry, Alex, congratulations.

[Vince] Flack, you've been given a job to do

and up to this point, Miss Atron remains unimpressed.

Vince, you can't expect me to go to every family in town.

Of course not. We have other plans if you fail.

It might help if you let me know exactly what to look for.

I told you you're looking for a child

with very unique abilities or talents.

I believe you'll know it when you see it

if you're as good as you used to be.

Well, I'm better than this assignment, Vince.

Not lately, you're not.

Oh, you did some great things in the past-- so what?

That's ancient history.

If I find this kid, I expect assurances

that I'll get my old job as investigative reporter back.

You know, looking into rival plants' projects

finding dirt on Miss Atron's prominent political enemies.

Flack, you find this kid, and I got a feeling

you'll be able to write yourself a ticket to any job you want.

[Alex] Ooh, Mom, can we get some fresh-cut flowers

for when when the reporter comes?

[Mrs Mack] Whatever you want, honey.

Are you insane or just hallucinating?

What's the matter?

Gee, I don't know, Alex, why don't you tell me?

A reporter... from the Plant... here?

- What's the big deal? - They picked my name at random.

How do you know?

Sometimes you just have to trust people, Annie.

You're just desperate for attention. You'd better call this off.

No way that's going to happen.

Alex, listen to me. This is really dangerous.

What do you care about some article from the Plant Paper, anyway?

It's not like you did anything to earn it.

That's easy for you to say. Nobody even knows I exist.

Once people read this, they'll notice me for a change.

Okay, fine.

But if this thing backfires don't come running to me for help.

Believe me, I won't.

[sneezing] Alex, you got to help me.

I don't know how much longer I can take this.

- Ray, it's a cold. - I think you'll pull through.

Can't you do something? You know, zap it out of me.

[humming and zapping]

[sneezing]

Sorry, that's the best I can do.

You'll have to take two aspirin like everyone else.

[sneezing]

Hey, Raymond, I'd have that taken care of.

Really? You think it's that serious?

- Robyn, it's just a cold. - My uncle Larry had just a cold.

One day he was here, and the next... gone.

His company transferred him.

That's what they want you to believe.

Well, I've got some good news.

The Paradise Valley Chemical Plant chose me as this month's kid.

Nicole was the kid a couple of months ago.

She said a reporter came to her house

and asked a lot of obnoxious questions.

Are you sure that's not just Nicole?

- She complains about everyone. - I don't think so. She made it seem

like he was trying to dig up secrets about her entire family.

I've been considering being a reporter.

Alex invited me over to watch this guy in action.

Alex, don't tell them anything.

They don't care about you. They're just out to sell newspapers.

By the time they're through with you, you'll have no secrets.

Really?

Maybe this isn't such a good idea after all.

Relax, just be your charming self, Alex.

That never works. I'd rather be someone else.

Like who?

[horn honks]

[sneezing]

[laughing]

- Raymond! - Excuse me.

[Mr Mack] Are you sure I look all right?

I think I'm more of a double-knit-polyester type guy.

There's nothing wrong with looking good for the article, George

and, dear, you could use a little positive P.R. yourself.

- [doorbell ringing] - Alex, he's here!

[doorbell ringing]

- Oh... Raymond. - Big night, huh?

Um, Alex, Ray's here.

- Alex? Alex? - Wow!

Honey, don't you think you should change

into those adorable little culottes I bought you?

- And that big, bulky sweater? - Come on, you guys.

This is an important night for me. I want to look special.

Well, if that's what makes you happy... George...

George, help me in the kitchen.

I'm sorry, little girl, we're all out of candy

- but come back next halloween. - I'm disappointed.

I thought you'd be over this jealousy thing.

Yeah, I'm real jealous of this little disaster in the making.

If that's the way you feel about it

why don't you just stay upstairs the whole night?

[Mrs Mack] Annie, honey, go up and get changed.

I really thought I'd be able to join you

but I've got that big essay due tomorrow and I'm not halfway done.

- I think it would mean a lot to Alex... - Oh, that's okay, Daddy.

I understand.

Let her go.

Well, all right, I guess your schoolwork comes first, Annie.

I'm sure everything's going to be just fine.

[whispering]: I'll order you some more fresh-cut flowers

for your funeral.

Another night, another family, eh, Mr. Flack?

This night will be different, David.

I'll rip the lid off every house I visit from here on in.

If there's something to find out I'm going to find it out.

Keep alert. I may need you to tape for me.

You know me, always ready for action when called.

Good, let's hope things get that interesting.

Are you kids ready? He'll be here any minute.

I wish she would calm down.

She's more excited about this than I am.

Give her a break, Alex.

She just wants to make this nice for you.

I'm just so nervous about tonight. I hope this reporter likes me.

I hope he recognizes you. Personally, I miss the old Alex.

- Don't start with me, Raymond. - Not a chance.

I don't want to be sent to my room like your sister.

Ooh, Annie! She makes me so furious.

Always predicting some big disaster.

- [doorbell rings] - That's him!

The evening began routinely around 6:15 when the doorbell rang.

Oh, hello, Mr. Flack, I'm Barbara Mack.

- Please come in. - Barb.

- Mr. Mack-- Good to meet you. - Mack.

[Mrs Mack] Alex, come meet Gordon Flack.

Gordon Flack? The Gordon Flack?

So?

Alex, he's the down dirtiest reporter in the town.

You've got to be really careful around him.

Everything is going to be just fi...

[sneezes, zapping]

[tea kettle whistling]

- [zapping] - What the...

Finally, an interesting evening.

[zapping]

[Ray] That Flack guy is going to bust you

- if you sneeze like that again. - So I just won't sneeze.

What if you caught my...

[congested]: I did not catch your cold.

How do you know?

Because tonight is too important.

Sorry the house is such a mess.

I'm sure you did your best.

Ah... here she is. Alex...

- This is Gordon Flack. - How do you do?

Ray Alvarado, Budding Journalist.

Mind if I ask you a few questions?

- I assume he's not one of yours. - [Mrs Mack] Raymond...

maybe Mr. Flack doesn't want you to ask any questions.

- Nice guess, Barb. - Barbara--

I prefer Barbara. [laughing]

Wienie?

So, Gordon... what brings you here?

I thought you only handled the big stories.

Every career has its lows.

I'm sure yours will have many of them.

You must be on some juicy story.

The juiciest-- but I'm not allowed to discuss it.

Let's just say it's a secret that will rip this town apart.

A... secret? In boring old Paradise Valley?

[exaggerated laughing]

That's a laugh.

I've just got to be in the right place at the right time.

[sneezes, zapping]

Can someone explain this to me?

Maybe... static electricity from the carpet.

- Right. - Ah.

- Mini-egg roll, Gordon? - [sneezes, zapping]

[Mrs Mack] Oh, I'm sorry! Oh...

I just have got to get something from the car.

Uh... wait here. [chuckling]

I'll be right back.

Um... I need something from upstairs.

I think it's going very well.

[snoring]

David! Wake up!

Uh... all done?

No. I want you to take the camera and start shooting.

Weird things are going on in there and I want them on tape.

You got it.

Uh, Mr. Flack?

Uh... which button did you say was record?

I've told her, I told her.

Annie, I know you told her. But she needs your help.

She's caught my cold and now her powers have gone haywire!

What's going on with the reporter?

He went to the car to get something.

Oh, great.

Now he's having that Dave guy film her.

Should we tell your parents?

No! They'll put two and two together.

I'll go down and keep an eye on her.

You go out and take care of Dave.

Please... there must be something special about you.

Nope! Not really.

[Mr Mack] Here she is.

- Meet Annie, our oldest. - Annie, child prodigy.

I've heard all about you.

Now I'm trying to find out a little something about your sister, too.

Mr. Flack, uh...

why don't I show you the rest of the house?

Wherever you go, I'm following.

[whispering]: This is great.

- Now, this is the... - Let me guess-- the garage.

Over here's my sister's chemistry set.

She's kind of a genius.

Oh, I'm sure you have your own special... talents.

[sneezes, zapping]

How did that happen?

Uh... remote control.

Cool, huh?

If that's a remote control

I assume you can also stop the train with it.

[zapping]

- Oh. - [chuckles]

[sneezes, zapping]

Enough with the train.

[zapping]

- What do you think you're doing? - Uh, nothing.

I'm, uh, I'm making home videos.

- Oh, this is your home. - Um... not exactly.

Then I think I'll go in and tell them.

No, wait!

Look, kid, this is offical Plant security business.

I didn't want to involve you.

Really? What did they do?

Nothing... yet.

Give me that.

You don't even have the record button on.

Let me see what I can get.

I've decided to join the fun.

Tell me some more about yourself, Alex.

There's not much to tell. Really.

Gee. I guess I should be writing all this down.

More lemonade, Gordon?

[Flack] Why not?

[Flack] So, tell me-- [screaming]

Oh, I'm so sorry.

[sneezes]

[zapping]

Must be some power outage in the neighborhood.

- How we doing? - We're doing great.

Where did Alex go?

Maybe to check the fuses.

She's the electrical wizard

so I'm sure she sent to straighten everything out.

Something very strange is going on around here.

Excuse me.

Hold this.

Here, see what you can get.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Where are you going?

I want to see where the "Kid of the Month" lays her head.

They're heading upstairs. I've got to get up there.

There's a ladder on the side of the house.

[Alex] What am I going to do?

- I've got to get back down. - Maybe this will help.

Cold medicine?

Think of something more scientific.

I'm not just a normal person with a bad case of sniffles.

- [knocking at door] - [Flack] May I come in?

Just a minute!

It'll control your symptoms until I think of something better.

But with your unique chemical makeup

you might have some weird side effects.

Um, thanks for the warning.

- [knocking at door] - [Flack] Girls!

- Stay here. - Ah...

...choo!

[gurgling]

[knocking at door]

Girls? What are you hiding in there?

Coming!

Go! Just, go under there.

- You got me covered, right? - You'll be fine.

See you later!

- Hey! Where you going? - [zapping]

[screaming]

[loud crash]

[Flack] Well, let's go!

- What are you hiding in there? - What's up?

Well, I thought Alex was fixing the circuit breaker.

But since she is shall we say, a mediocre student

and you are a chemistry genius it made me wonder.

Where is she?

[Alex mumbles indistinctly]

[gurgling]

Not in here.

[gurgling]

So, Gordo... how's the interview going?

- Where is Alex? - I thought she was with you.

It's getting awfully chilly in here. I must be getting a fever.

Alex! I think you're coming down with something.

Let's all have dinner and then Mr. Flack can be on his way.

Alex, please make sure Mr. Flack gets everything he needs.

Come, everybody sit.

Not you, George.

Water, please.

Sure.

[softly]: Ah...

[sneezes loudly]

[zapping]

What is going on here?

[Mrs Mack] Alex!

Your father and I remember the cutest story...

- Alex? - She... went to get some tissue.

Oh, well, while we're waiting your could interview Annie, Mr. Flack.

She's quite the genius, you know.

[softly]: Hello? Hello?

Tell me, dear...

- does the soup talk back? - [coughing and gurgling]

[coughing and gurgling]

[coughing]

Annie? Are you getting sick, too?

No, I'm fine, Mom.

I need to get some water in the kitchen.

Not so fast. I never got my water.

I'll get you some fresh.

Nonsense! You'll run off like the other one.

- Give me the pitcher. - No.

Let Mr. Flack have the water, honey.

We have more. What sort of institution is this?

No. Get away!

- [groaning] - [splashing]

Annie, are you all right?

- Gordon, get up. - Get off me!

You are completely out of your minds!

- Do you realize that? - Wait a second, pal.

You can't talk to my family like that.

Yeah, he's right. You apologize right now.

Yeah! Before somebody gets hurt.

I'm sorry I ever crossed your prefabricated threshold.

- Satisfied? - Almost.

Now go.

Now, leave!

Oh, we got some great stuff, Mr. Flack.

Forget it, David. I can't take this town anymore.

It's time for me to give up this game and go write my memoirs.

Raymond, come on. I can hardly see the board.

I'm not taking any chances on those germs revisiting me.

I'll move your men. Don't worry, I won't cheat.

Ray, I'm sick, not stupid.

Wow!

Your move.

- Did you guys see the paper? - Can you believe it?

"Due to an error in the selection process

"there will be no "Kid of the Month" in this issue.

"The chronicle also says good-bye to Gordon Flack

"who has left to pursue other interests."

- [Ray, Annie laughing] - [sneezes]

[zapping]

[Annie] Whatever gave him the idea

that there was a secret in Paradise Valley?

[Alex, Annie, Ray laughing]

Captioned by Grant Brown