Original subtitles

Are you ready to order?

Oh, wait a minute. Weren't you in earlier?

Yes, but I just had to come in and see you again.

You are so beautiful.

You have the most gorgeous eyes and the prettiest hair and--

Sorry. I must be embarrassing you.

Right.

I'm Norm Murphy. Go out with me.

What?

Go out with me.

I'm sorry, no.

Really, I mean it.

So do I.

But I-- I've always wanted to date a beautiful girl

just like you.

Well, sure,

but unlike me, you can't always get what you want.

That waitress is the greatest.

I'm guessing he just checked in.

Dick, Joanna,

I was taking my morning walk when suddenly,

across the clearing, there he was!

The Great White Buck.

George, what's The Great White Buck?

You don't know?

Dick, Joanna, let me tell you the legend

of the Great White Buck.

Uh, George, isn't this something you should be telling us

with a-- with a banjo?

One day, old farmer Skinner was walking by a meadow,

and he came upon the biggest, most magnificent,

pure white buck ever to walk these parts.

The Great White Buck.

That year, this town enjoyed the best year it ever had.

Really?

I just don't believe that people think

a great white buck

is gonna bring good luck.

Well, Dick, it's a legend.

It's not like somebody made it up.

George, we were at the Tree Tap Diner

when we heard.

Is it true?

I was taking my morning walk when suddenly, I saw...

The Great White Buck.

Jim, this is George's good news. Let him tell it.

I saw the Great White Buck.

Told ya.

He was snorting big puffs of air out of his nostrils,

and he had this look of wisdom on his face.

And his antlers must have been big enough to hang 40 hats on.

This is starting to sound like something out of Dr. Seuss.

Dick doesn't believe in the legend.

There's a surprise.

Dick, the Great White Buck was seen here in 1950,

as far back as 1885,

and again in 1929. All great years.

1929? That was the start of the Depression.

Not for us. This town prospered.

Yeah. If only that buck had trotted down Wall Street.

And even though George just saw the Great White Buck,

we're already being showered with good fortune.

What-- what are you-- what are you talking about?

Well, I was at the Tree Tap this morning,

and I had the best jelly donut I ever ate.

Explain that.

Greetings, gringos.

I think I've come up with a primo premise

for the kind of hard-hitting,

60 Minutes type reporting you've been dying to do.

Really? That's-- that's terrific.

Imagine this in stereo, where available.

Dick Loudon: Searching for the Great White Buck.

Michael, you don't really believe in this?

Dick, all I believe in is that this big buck

can bring in big bucks.

[ Giggles ]

And just to make sure we get that deer on camera,

I've arranged for boffo buck bait.

Wardrobe's fitting you for a salt lick slicker.

Michael, I am not doing any report

on a silly legend about some dumb deer.

Oh, that's right, Dick. I forgot.

You don't like to get involved with anything popular.

Told you I wasn't gonna date you even if you do the dusting.

Steph, what's, uh-- what's going on?

Uh, Mr. Murphy keeps asking me for a date.

He won't leave me alone.

Well, I won't stand idly by while some poacher

forages around my love nest.

Mr. Murphy, this is Michael Harris,

my fianc�.

And you really think you have a snowball's chance?

Oh, there's always competition for the best.

That does it.

In another two minutes,

I'm gonna have to ask you outside.

Michael!

Well, I don't want my muffin to hear

the vocal pummelling I'm gonna give him.

It may get pretty frank.

Hey, I will have none of that at my inn.

All right, I give.

I'm a lover, not a talker.

Get him.

Thinking he can get on my good side

by doing my work for me.

That bozo.

So, Steph, where do you keep the Windex?

Phew, boy.

I didn't think I'd ever get out

of Wagner's Hardware Store.

[ Chuckles ]

Everybody wanted to hear about the Great White Buck.

People were taking my picture, shaking my hand.

Maggie Milford even lined her children up to rub my head.

I just wish they hadn't stopped at the bakery first.

Here you are, George.

Ooh.

[ Panting ]

Great news! I finally got a job!

Yeah, they opened up one of these

fancy new tanning salons over at the college.

At first I thought it was only gonna be part-time,

you know, sunny days,

but you're lookin' at a full-time man!

And all because my friend George

spotted the Great White Buck in Utley Woods.

Did you hear that, Dick? Utley Woods.

I never had trees named after me before.

Harley, I'm happy for you, but I don't believe in a--

in a good luck buck.

GEORGE: Oh, yeah?

Good luck is spreading like wildfire.

This morning, that old oak tree on the Swenson's place

came crashing to the ground.

Wiped out the whole front porch.

That-- that's lucky?

Everyone was in the back.

Hi. I'm Larry.

This is my brother Darryl,

and this is my other brother Darryl.

And we're here to announce that major construction

has started on the fabulous new Starlight Room

at the Minuteman Caf�.

You guys are expanding?

Not exactly.

Darryl here just punched a hole in the roof over Table eight.

We're preparin' for the onslaught of prosperity

brought about by the spotting of the Great White Buck.

Already today, six people came in to the caf�.

Two even stayed to eat.

That-- that is mythic.

Dick, don't be such a stick in the mud.

Honey, I'm sick of-- of-- of listening to people,

uh, attribute everyday events to--

to some cockamamie legend.

Hi. Are you the proprietor?

Yes.

Well, I got a group that's ready to ski for two weeks.

And I want every room you can give me.

Hey, this is your lucky day.

Shut up and sign in.

Oh, Stephanie.

I couldn't find you.

Oh. Well, it worked for a while.

Hey, it's gonna be a perfect night

for a sleigh ride.

We have to talk. Sit down.

[ Clears throat ]

Do you know where I've been for the past half hour?

Cleaning. In the basement.

Avoiding you has forced me to inhale must.

So stop it. There.

You want me to stop now?

And I've never gotten this far before.

Come here a minute.

Look at me.

Now look at you.

Now look at us together.

See what I mean?

Please, I'm not asking you

to spend the rest of your life with me,

just one evening.

O-- okay a dinner.

Five minutes!

And I'll never bother you again.

You've got yourself a date. Five minutes.

Terrific.

Okay, I'll pick you up at 8.

Maybe we'll take in the opening credits of a movie.

Stephanie, is something wrong?

Oh, that Mr. Murphy just won't leave me alone.

Joanna, how do you get men to turn off you so easily?

It's a gift.

Dick?

Dick, what happened?

Are you all right?

I was-- I was driving...

back from the store...

and I-- and I saw it.

The Great White Buck.

Really?

It was the most gigantic

blur of--

of antlers and-- and hooves I've--

I've ever-- I've ever seen leap--

leap across-- across the road.

Well, I guess you're really in for some good luck now.

I don't think so, Joanna. I just...

ran over The Great White Buck.

Joanna, did you have to bring me a white drink?

[ Thunder rumbling ]

Dick, you okay?

I'm-- I'm-- I'm fine, George. Thank-- thanks.

You killed the Great White Buck and not even a scratch?

G-- George, it came out of nowhere.

The-- the-- the roads were icy.

There was-- I mean, there was nothing I could do.

And you're really sure he was the Great White Buck?

George, he-- he was just as big and-- and magnificent

as you described him,

except maybe with a little more...

surprise on his face than,

uh, than wisdom.

[ Raining ]

It's one thing not to believe in our legend, Dick,

but did you have to take your car to it?

Why'd you even bother with a sedan?

Why didn't you just use a howitzer?

Okay, where's the Bambi-basher?

I've just come from the scene.

Woulda been here sooner,

but it was kinda hard to get all those antlers

on the chalk outline.

Well, here's something you never heard before.

I just lost my new job.

Harley, what happened?

Well, to celebrate my first day at the tanning salon,

I gave the first dozen customers

an extra 10 minutes under the sun lamp free.

Well, Loudon, now that you rubbed out the big fella,

the specter of bad luck hangs over this town

like a beer belly over a pair of chinos.

Hi. I'm Larry.

This is my brother Darryl,

and this is my other brother Darryl.

Due to the demise of the Great White Buck,

business at the caf�'s been destroyed.

More bad luck.

Look, it-- it-- it was a beautiful animal,

but it-- it didn't bring good luck,

and its death isn't gonna bring bad luck.

[ Thunder cracking ]

Well, this is terrific.

Four inches on the mountain, all rain.

Aw, there goes our ski trip. We're all checking out.

Rain in February?

It'll ruin the whole ski season.

Town's going to pot and while I'm mayor.

What are we gonna do?

According to the legend...

There's-- there's more?

The legend says if anything happens

to the buck,

to rid the town of the bad luck, the person responsible

has to perform the Rite of the Dancing Wood Nymph.

Oh, it-- Oh, no.

Dick, I know it wasn't your fault,

but you oughta do something.

I'm not gonna go prancing through the woods

like-- like some pixie.

Come on, everybody.

At least there's something we can do.

Let's go to the armory, form a huddled mass,

and wait for Armageddon.

[ Thunder crashes ]

[ Knocks on banister ]

Is Stephanie home?

[ Chuckles ]

Yes, she is, Mr. Murphy.

Oh, please, not so formal. It's Norm.

After all, we'll be spending the next five minutes together.

Okay, Norm.

[ Sighs ]

Well, I wanted our first date to be special,

so I thought we could enjoy some wine

and a little casual conversation.

That's nice.

Begin.

Hey, beautiful fire.

Uh-huh.

Oh, who am I kidding?

Stephanie, I don't want you to take this the wrong way.

I mean, you're a wonderful person and everything,

but I don't think this is gonna work out.

What?

Sorry. I just think it best if I ended it now.

Wait.

You're ending this?

Now that I've spent some time with you,

I realize you're just not my type.

Not your type?

We've spent two minutes together!

Oh, Stephie, stop torturing yourself!

It's over!

Hey, I've done it.

I've dated a beautiful girl.

Now I've even dumped one, too.

Obviously, you don't understand English.

I told you to keep your manos off my cute quesadilla.

She's all yours.

[ Huffs ]

Well, looks like he took my verbal venom verbatim.

Michael, something very wrong just happened here.

And it's all your fault for killing that dopey deer!

You too?

Well, I've just been dumped, and the explanation

can only be supernatural.

Gee, Dick, isn't there anyone your tire tread hasn't touched?

Uh, hi-- hi, George.

Hi.

Uh, George, you-- you-- you won't believe this,

but I-- I was-- I was taking a walk in-- in--

in the deep part of the woods and--

and out of this hole pop-- popped the biggest red--

red woodchuck I-- that-- that I have ever seen.

Geor-- George, I think it was the-- the--

the Great Red Woodchuck!

Nice try, Dick, but I don't think this town

would get behind any legend that has an overbite.

George, believing in-- in the Great White Buck is--

is like-- it's like believing in Santa Claus.

George, you--

you don't believe in Santa Claus?

Why?

Are you gonna run him over too, Dick?

Look, I know this buck business,

and the wood nymph dance are silly,

but... there are a lot of things in life I can't explain.

Like how we get honey from a little bee

or why a bubble is perfectly round.

Why not square?

Or why do freshwater fish stink

but the fresh water tastes great?

Just because you can't explain luck

doesn't mean it isn't real.

I mean, take me.

Yesterday, I had a whole woods named after me.

Now, Utley Woods has been replaced

by Loudon Curve.

GEORGE: Well, here we are.

The exact place I saw the Great White Buck.

Boy, it sure brings back a lot of memory.

I have a feeling

this is gonna stick in your mind for a while too, George.

Let's get this ritual started.

You know, Dick, I'm really grateful

you decided to go through with this.

I mean,

-[ Birds chirping ] -seeing you here,

doing all this for your friends and neighbors,

well, Dick, I--

I don't think I ever respected a person more.

Now, get on your tippy toes and flap your hooves.

There they are.

Just like George said.

-George-- -I didn't tell them.

We overheard you in the feed store

when you were buying the burlap for Dick's costume.

Mildred was right.

The 50-pound bag is too long.

[ Birds chirping ]

Whoa.

What do we have here? A little stag party?

[ Laughs ]

Officer Shifflett,

we didn't hear you following us.

Thanks.

Look, I'm not gonna do this in front of you,

so you may as well all go home.

Let us stay, Dick.

Yeah, we'd feel silly

spying on you from the woods.

Oh, what the heck.

The sooner I do this,

the sooner I can forget this day ever happened.

How long is this ritual?

I've only got enough tape for four hours.

Look, uh, wh-- why don't I just take off all my clothes and--

and-- and pose on a bearskin rug?

No, let's get this first.

Oh, what the heck. I-- I may as well do it.

People are gonna be talking about this

for the rest of my life anyway.

Hi. I'm Larry.

This is my brother Darryl,

and this is my other brother Darryl.

Told ya we shoulda camped out overnight

so we'd get a decent seat.

[ Birds chirping ]

Joanna?

Dick performed the ritual, and I was his witness.

Well, one of 'em.

Gee, I didn't think there'd be such a crowd,

and I know Dick didn't.

Harley got the whole thing on tape.

Come on.

There's a set in the study.

So did the ceremony get rid of the bad luck?

You betcha.

Thanks to Dick, everybody feels better already.

It's amazing what a good laugh'll do for ya.

[ Laughing ]

[ Clears throat ]

Dick, honey, I know it wasn't easy.

[ Laughter ]

But you went through with it, and I'm proud of you.

Hey, everybody, come here and watch this!

Oh!

Come on, come on!

Come on!

Oh, go ahead, Joanna.

Thanks, honey.

It's just stuff I took of the woods

before I got there.

Wait, uh, what's that walking in the corner?

It's a green deer.

No way. It's not green.

The tint's not adjusted right. Th--

[ Gasps ]

-[ Gasps ] -Oh!

The deer...

it's white!

Wait. You know what we've got here?

Son of White Buck.

[ Gasps ]

And George spotted it.

Yeah, in Utley Lobby.

The town's good fortune is back!

Yay!

Congratulations!

Wait, wait, wait a minute.

You mean I didn't have to go through that silly ritual?

No.

But at least we had the good fortune

to see you do it.

I'm declaring tomorrow Son of Buck Day.

I've even come up with a perfect new job for Harley,

as chauffeur for Dick.

What?

No way in hell

we're lettin' you on the road till spring.

Meow.