Original subtitles

[ Phone rings ]

Hel-- Hello, Stratford Inn.

Um, hello, Mrs. Cook.

Yeah, we, uh-- we sort of expected you an hour ago.

Well, where-- where-- where are you now?

Lost, huh?

You, uh-- You see any distinguishing signs or--

or landmarks?

Uh-huh.

Yeah, I'm a-- I'm afraid a-- a lot of stop signs

fit that description, Mrs. Cook.

No, I'm-- I'm afraid I-- I don't know what color,

uh, Vermont would be on your road map.

Well, I-- I suppose if I absolutely had to,

I'd-- I'd guess, uh, uh, green.

Good-- Good-bye, Mrs. Cook.

Well, we're on our way out to build a snow Steph.

We're gonna pack some white powder

-into five feet of cuteness. -[ Chuckles ]

A monument to my muffin, in ice.

[ Chuckles ]

Do you wanna join us?

I'll let you put the dimples in her knees.

Uh, darn, and my mittens are all the way

in the other room.

So do you have everything, Michael?

You bet. I even have a button for your cute button nose.

Kinda big, Michael.

How's this?

Perfect.

[ Both laugh ]

I may catch cold, but it's worth it.

[ Both laugh ]

I replaced that light in the refrigerator

for you, Joanna.

Thanks, George.

You're looking at my 10,000th burnt-out bulb.

And this baby goes right in the scrapbook.

You put light bulbs... in your scrapbook?

Only those with strong sentimental value.

You should see my scrapbook.

It tells the George Utley story from the very beginning.

The first nail I ever hammered solo,

the metric wrench set I bought when I fell

for the conversion talk of the '70s,

even my junior carpenter tool belt with training ball peen.

Sounds like it'd be hard to put down.

Sounds like it'd be hard to pick up.

Well, I've gotta go dust off the old book.

I expect I've got quite a trip down memory lane

in front of me.

Joanna,

our maid is outside building a snow idol to herself,

and our handyman is on his way to his room

to paste a light bulb in a scrapbook.

Wh-- when did we lose control of the hired help?

Morning, George.

Morning.

George, are-- are you okay?

I've been up all night looking over my George Utley scrapbook.

And you know, every single page was handyman stuff.

Are you sure you have the right scrapbook?

There wasn't a single photograph of me in there

without a hammer.

Well, weren't there any baby pictures?

Sure. Plenty.

Well, George, you always loved the idea of being a handyman.

That's why you became one, right?

Oh, I used to think so.

But maybe it was because my father was a handyman.

And my father's father was a handyman.

-And my father's father's father-- -All-- all right, George.

We're-- we're picking up on the pattern.

George, if-- if you don't wanna be a handyman,

wh-- what do you wanna be?

Nothing I can think of.

Oh, except when I was a kid, I had a few ambitions.

Well, it's never too late to follow your dreams.

Don't worry.

Last night I came to grips with the fact

that I'll always be just a handyman.

Well, I think before I start my Day 13,612

of my handyman grind,

I'll just take a little walk outside

and see if I can't shake those old caretaker's blues.

George--

George, I mean, do you think a-- a walk is the answer?

I mean,

you know, look how a stroll down memory lane screwed you up.

[ Phone rings ]

Stratford Inn.

Um, and Mrs. Cook!

Yeah, we were beginning to-- to worry.

Well, I-- I-- I'm sorry, but I-- I told you green was--

was just a guess.

I did so.

Well, where-- where are you now?

No-- no idea, huh?

What-- what-- what's that I hear in the background?

Uh-huh. It sounds like you, uh-- you got an ocean there,

uh, Mrs. Cook.

All right, what-- what you do, get back in your car

and-- and drive,

keeping the ocean on your right.

You-- you're welcome, Mrs. Cook. And, uh-- and good luck.

[ Chuckles ]

Stephanie!

Stephanie, I'm here!

What is it, Michael?

Oh, Michael. What are we going to do?

What-- what's going on?

I just heard it on the radio. It's horrible!

A warming trend.

Okay, everyone into the basement.

I'll get some lanterns and some bottled water.

Don't you realize what this means?

Everyone knows that's me out there and...

even after the sun's deforming rays hit it,

they're still gonna think it's me.

Of all the times for spring to hit.

Right on the heels of winter.

[ Sighs ]

Well, you guys knew when you built this

that someday it would melt.

Uh, no, we didn't.

We don't think that far into the future.

Yeah.

I mean, who would have a baby

if they thought about what it was going to look like

when it was 90?

Michael, what are we gonna do?

I don't know.

Well, think.

Dick?

I don't know either.

I-- I guess all you can do is sit back and--

and watch helplessly as your-- your snow Steph

slowly melts into a-- a muddy slush Steph.

You're sick!

Dick, that wasn't very nice.

I know. And as soon as I can keep a straight face, I'll--

I'll apologize.

Hi, guys.

George, where have you been?

Well, my cheering up stroll through town

kind of turned into an all-day outing.

Looks like it worked.

You're, uh, downright peppy.

Yeah! I feel great!

Terrific.

I got a new job!

What-- what do you mean you got a new job?

Well, I was about a mile into my walk

when I passed Cypret's Auto Barn.

They had a "Salesman Wanted" sign up.

The job I've always dreamed of!

But, George,

you never said anything

about wanting to be a used car salesman.

That's because I thought Dick would laugh

at my illusions of grandeur.

Wait a minute.

If I leave my job here,

it'll be the first time The Stratford

has been without an Utley handyman.

I'm sure we'll stumble through.

But who will handyman?

I'll handyman.

I guess you will stumble through.

Well, now I suppose the first thing I've gotta do

is find a place to live.

Oh, what do you mean, George?

Of course you'll live right here in your room.

But that-- that's for the resident handyman.

No, that's for the resident Utley.

Oh, thanks.

But I won't feel right

unless you let me pay for my room and board.

George, don't be ridiculous.

I insist, Dick. I do have my pride.

[ Sighs ] All right. How about, uh,

25 dollars a month?

Boy, you sure know how

to exploit a guy's sentimental attachments.

Michael! Any news on the snow Steph?

All N.G., living breathing Steph.

And the forecast says: continued warmer.

Michael, you're really letting me down

as a boyfriend,

not being able to control the weather and all.

Sorry, Steph.

I know! How about we start calling it a snow Joanna?

That way it'll just be something on the lawn.

[ Gasps ]

Michael, the melting of snow is a natural phenomenon,

and in its own way can be very beautiful.

I'm sorry. I wonder if you could settle a bet.

That snow sculpture outside,

is that supposed to be a gargoyle or a lawn jockey?

It's supposed to be her.

Oh, yeah.

Michael, I don't care what it takes!

Fix me! Fix me!

You know, I just can't believe that George

is gonna go off to work.

I mean, I'm really gonna miss having him around all the time.

Honey, it's just a-- a phase he's going through.

I predict his-- his hammer hand will be itching before lunch.

George!

Don't you look nice.

It's so neat to have to dress up for work

the same way you would for a big to-do.

And look, you guys realize this'll be the first time

I've had to pack a lunch for work?

It's exhilarating and scary all at the same time.

And I've been boning up on my Blue Book values.

Go ahead.

Give me a model and year, and I'll tell you the price.

Um, '84 Mustang convertible.

That's an easy one.

Six-- or eight--cylinder?

Oh, let's see--

I've already opened to the six-cylinder page,

but I don't want you to pull any punches

just because it's my first day.

Okay, then. Eight.

[ Sighs ]

GT or LX interior?

George, I-- I'm really not that interested in a Mustang.

You're not?

Then, why'd you put me through all this for?

Boy, I hope all my customers aren't like you, Dick.

Wow. Even the lulls are exciting.

Welcome to The Auto Barn.

I'm looking for a car, and my friend said

I should be sure to talk to the man

who sold her a car yesterday:

-Honest George. -I'm Honest George.

Your nametag says Bill Dryden.

Okay, I lied. I'm Honest Bill.

Wh-- When I sold your friend that car yesterday,

I just told her my name was Honest George.

Hi, I'm George Utley.

-WOMAN: Oh! -You must be Mrs. Leeds' friend.

Hello, George.

Sherry said you'd tell me the truth about your cars.

I'd be glad to.

[ Chuckles ]

Welcome to the Auto Barn.

I'm, uh-- I'm looking for George.

I'm George.

No-- no, you're not.

I know what he looks like.

I was in an accident, and I had plastic surgery.

I-- I'm not here to buy anything.

I'll get him right away.

George to the showroom.

Hey. You smudge it, you bought it.

Oh, uh, George, I hope I didn't pull you away from a customer.

Oh, it's okay, Dick.

She wanted a station wagon,

but the only one we've got has a bad exhaust system,

so you get dizzy when you drive.

When I pointed that out to her, she lost interest.

Did you, uh, show her the VW van?

No. The accelerator sticks.

Hey, lady! Wait!

And-- and if your friend smudges the Plymouth, it's my sale.

Dick, uh, what are you doing here?

It's not already the first of the month, is it?

George, I'm-- I'm not here to collect the rent.

I happened to be next door, picking up a new fuse,

and I-- I thought I'd drop in.

New fuse? What's wrong?

No-nothing.

Michael and Stephanie overloaded the inn circuits by,

uh, trying to plug in a-- a dozen Mr. Sno-- Cones

in the-- the outdoor outlet.

Oh. Did you get to use the new fuse tester?

You're, uh-- you're starting to miss the handyman life,

aren't you, George?

Look around.

I mean, is this place great or what?

It's like a cross between Disneyland and Disneyworld.

It's a kind of hard combination to picture.

Look, Dick.

Here it is:

the time clock.

Wow. Up-up close and everything.

Hey, George. I sold the van.

She wanted it?

Not really. But she smudged it.

You know, I'm not sure Bill should be in

the used car business.

Some of the things he does border on the dishonest.

Well, I better go help her out of this fix.

And also, I am on the clock.

Yeah, I'd-- I'd better go too.

I don't wanna smudge my way into the poor house.

Uh, if you really wanna see something,

come back in three hours.

What-- what happens then?

I punch out.

Well, we have a working porch light again.

And I have page one of Dick Loudon's scrapbook.

[ Electrical buzzing ]

Honey, before you re-- replace the porch light,

could you take a look at the fireplace flue?

Sure. What's-- what's wrong with it?

I don't know, but this just fell out.

Which I'm pretty sure is wrong.

Yeah, I'll-- I'll get right on it.

[ Phone rings ]

Hello, Stratford Inn.

Oh, hi, Mrs. Cook.

Where-- where are you now?

Well, can, uh-- can you find someone to--

to ask directions?

E-- everyone's speaking French?

Yeah, I-- I think you overshot us, Mrs. Cook.

M-- uh, my guess is Canada.

Yeah, uh, were there guys in uniform

who-- who stopped you and-- and went through your luggage?

Yeah, see, that-- that's the border.

You know, Mrs. Cook,

maybe you ought to just, uh, ask for a room there.

Au revoir , Mrs. Cook.

-Cross off Mrs. Cook. -JOANNA: Mm--hm.

Come on, Steph, just take-- just take one more look for me.

Michael, I already looked out this morning,

and it was nothing but an ugly five-foot lump.

Well, take one more look.

You-- you may be pleasantly surprised.

Michael, she's gone!

You're right, Steph!

What happened to her?

I think the only explanation is that snow Steph

pulled a Frosty on us,

came to life, and danced off to the North Pole.

Do you really think so?

It's the only theory science will support.

Michael,

is that my cute little button nose

embedded in your grillwork?

Well, as I say, either she came to life

or I accidentally mowed her down

with a Turbo Z.

Hi, George. How was work?

Great.

I just came here to throw something

into my brown bag for tonight.

You're working tonight?

You bet. We're having a midnight Pacer-mania sale.

Balloons, buttons, and we'll stay open

until we finally sell that stupid Pacer.

Sounds exciting.

Yeah. By the way, the porch light's out.

Yeah, I know.

As soon as I finish fixing the flue,

I'm gonna get out and get--

You're kidding. The flue broke?

Huh, I've been waiting 47 years for that thing to give in.

Figures. You wash your car, it rains.

You change careers, the flue breaks.

George, you-- you wouldn't, by any chance, want to--

want to help me with the flue?

Uh, no, Dick, I've hung up the overalls.

I figured the best way to give up handymanhood

would be cold turkey.

Well, it sure beats checking into one of those centers.

[ Swing creaks ]

Hi.

Thought I heard a creaking noise out here.

Probably this swing.

[ Crickets chirping ]

Do, uh, you want-- want some company?

Well, I guess.

[ Swing creaks ]

[ Electrical buzzing ]

[ Sighs ]

Damn, I've already replaced that light bulb twice tonight.

Probably using a regular bulb.

You should use special ones in winter.

Ah.

[ Swing creaks ]

You know, I hardly ever sit in this swing.

It's nice.

Noisy, but-- but nice.

Thanks. Dad and me put this up when I was eight years old.

We used to sit in it at night,

staring out over the lawn, talking about stuff.

Things sure have changed.

[ Crickets chirping ]

Well, it was 40 years ago.

No, I mean since this morning. The snow Stephanie's gone.

Mi--uh, Michael ran over it.

Oh. I feel pretty silly,

moping about my own petty problems.

[ Swing squeaks ]

Well, I guess since I'm the handyman,

I'm gonna have to oil that thing in the morning.

I wish you wouldn't, Dick.

Why-- why not, George?

Well, I know this is gonna sound crazy,

but the creaking was starting to sound a little like my father

talking to me on the swing again.

[ Swing creaking ]

What-- what was he saying?

He was saying you can't fight generations of breeding,

that I should go back to being the Stratford handyman.

[ Sighs ]

George, you should probably listen to your heart on this,

not-- not some squeaking porch swing.

I think that is my heart, Dick.

The swing was...

just saying it out loud.

You know, Dick,

all my life, I thought being a used car salesman

would be just about

the greatest thing in the world.

Time clock,

those little plastic flags snapping in the wind,

painting big white numbers on windshields.

But after about a week,

all that glamour fades into a glitzy routine.

Well, I have to tell you, George,

from the outside looking in, you'd never guess.

I thought I'd live out every man's fantasy.

Selling used cars is not really that much fun.

And then tonight I couldn't concentrate,

thinking about that fireplace flue.

How would I fix it?

Would I just weld on a new faceplate or--

or replace the whole mechanism?

[ Crickets chirping ]

You, uh--

[ Sighs ]

you-- you wouldn't have-- you wouldn't have just-- just

jammed it back into place?

Are you kidding?

George, you know I-- I-- I would've let--

let you help me fix the flue.

Oh, it's not just that, Dick. I miss setting my own hours.

I miss the feel of a plaid flannel shirt

under fully-stocked overalls.

And I miss the feel of being necessary.

At the car lot, there's me and Bill.

I'm just a number there.

But here at the Stratford, without me,

the front porch would always be dark and--

the damper would be slip-shoddily

jammed into place.

George, you know, we-- we really miss you,

but I-- I thought you wanted to do something else

besides, you know, handyman stuff.

I've done it, Dick.

And after tomorrow,

there's gonna be a nametag, a time card,

and a Midnight Pacer-mania button

in my scrapbook to prove it.

I quit, Dick.

You-- you're sure about this, George?

You know it's not--

it's not too late to go back.

It's still not too late, George.

And don't worry, Dick.

Before I go to bed tonight

I'll put a new bulb in the porch light.

And-- and would you,

you know, give the-- the flue the once-over?

I was going to, Dick.

You know, it's, uh--

it-- it's good to have an Utley back at the--

back at the Stratford again.

[ Sighs ]

[ Dog barking ]

Ten thousand and one.

Meow.