Original subtitles

- What are you doing?

- I'm just making some notes on my new book.

- I thought you said last night you weren't going

to take that assignment.

- I know, but I called them this morning and said I would.

- But I thought you said you weren't interested

in glass blowing.

- That's not true. I, I like, uh, glass blowing.

Matter of fact, I've already thought of some chapters,

like blowing your own ashtrays.

Blowing your own candy bowls,

not to mention all the animals you can blow.

- Hi, guys. - Oh, hi, Kirk.

- Hi, Kirk.

- When Cindy and I were at Niagara Falls

we picked up some souvenirs for you

and I forgot to give them to you.

Here.

- Oh, you didn't have to do that.

- I know, but Cindy really wanted to.

Do you like it?

- What, what is it?

- Well, I know you're a history buff.

It's an authentic recreation of the winter at Valley Forge.

You can see the hell they're going through right there.

- Thanks.

- You're welcome. Where's George?

- He should be in his room. - Oh.

We picked up something for him too.

- Oh. That's nice.

- Well, I think it's stupid, but George will like it.

See you.

- Do you believe this? - No. Those poor brave souls.

- Hello there.

- Oh, Michael, hi.

- I'm sorry, I didn't know you were eating.

- No, that's all right. Uh, come on in.

Honey, this is Michael Harris.

He was the producer on that TV show I did, "Book Talk."

- Oh, it's nice to meet you.

- This is my wife Joanne. - Nice meeting you.

Great taste, Dick.

- Listen, the reason I came by, was something very exciting

happened down at the television station

this morning and rather than calling you

I wanted to come by and tell you about it personally.

I've come up with a fabulous new idea

for a television show and I want you to be the host of it.

- Really?

- Well, thanks, but I, I'm, I'm not interested.

- Honey, you don't even know what it is.

- Honey, you just got finished telling me

I never turn down anything.

- Is it me, Dick?

Is there some bad blood here I don't know about?

- No. Michael it has nothing to do with you.

I just don't want to a TV show.

- Listen, I know "Book Talk" was not a pleasant experience

for you, but that doesn't diminish the fact

that you were fantastic in it.

Listen, at least come down to the station.

Let me give you the whole presentation.

If you don't like the idea, I'll cry a little bit,

but I'll understand.

- The least you can do is listen.

- Honey, I really don't want to do a TV show.

- You said that. I respect that.

Now let me change your mind.

- All right.

What, what time would you want me there?

- Well, Dick, it's going to be your show so let's

let it be at your convenience, but, uh,

3:30 would be great for me.

- Just got the most incredible pair of...

- Hello.

- Hi.

- Oh, Stephanie, this is Michael Harris.

Michael, Stephanie Vanderkellen.

- How do you do?

- Very well, thank you. How do you do?

- Excellent.

- Michael is the producer of that show Dick was on,

"Book Talk."

- Oh, you're a producer.

- For three years and four days.

- Your wife and children must be very proud of you.

- I'm not married. - Oh.

- Uh, Stephanie works for us here at the inn.

- Really?

- Well, if you could call it working.

I have all my nights, afternoons, and weekends free.

- Stephanie, I know we've just met and forgive me

if I'm moving a little too fast,

but would you let me take you out for a Manhattan sometime?

- I'd let you take me to Manhattan sometime.

- That sounds like a yes. - I think it was.

- Great. Well, then I'll see you at, uh,

3:30 and I'll see you--

- At Barney's at 6:30? - Extra great.

- And good to see you too...

-Joanna. - Exactly.

Bye now. - Bye.

He's gorgeous.

My God, where have you been keeping him?

- Stephanie, take it easy.

- He's everything I've been looking for.

He's young, he's successful. Did I say gorgeous?

I can't believe it.

I feel tingly. My heart is pounding.

It's like my whole life is suddenly falling into place.

I think that this is the guy that God meant for me to have.

What did you say his name was?

- Pour in about an inch of water

or if it's a particularly festive occasion,

pour in a little wine.

Add chopped onions and some carrots.

- Uh, right this way, Dick.

This is where we'll actually be doing the show.

- Then add a teaspoon of salt

and a quarter of a teaspoon of pepper.

- Uh, should, should we be here?

I mean if--isn't she on the air?

- My, we have some chatterboxes in the studio today.

- I, I really think we ought to go.

- Oh, don't be silly, Dick. It's just Pearl's kitchen.

It's not important.

- [ laughs ] Okay.

Apparently the chatterboxes are not going to be quiet

until they get some attention.

Uh, would you come up here, please?

- Who, uh, me?

- Yes. Come join Pearl in her kitchen.

- Oh, uh, uh, thanks.

I'm, I'm just, I'm just visiting.

- No, I want you to come up here.

- Go on, Dick, go on. Plug your show.

- Yes, come on little chatterbox. Come on.

- Now, what's your name?

- Uh, Dick, Dick Loudon.

- Well, so, Dick, is this your first time

in a television studio?

- No. I've, I've been here, uh,

been here before.

- Well, then you should know it's rude

to talk when someone is trying to do their work.

- I'm, uh, I'm really sorry.

I, I won't, I won't say another word.

- Now, as I was saying.

Well, damn it, I see we're out of time.

Join me again tomorrow when hopefully

we'll be getting back on schedule.

Until then, this is Pearl Retcalf saying, "Ciao."

[ music playing ]

- The next time someone disturbs Pearl's kitchen

they're going to get a face full of bacon grease.

- Ignore her, Dick.

She's in a lousy mood because her husband just died.

So here it is, Dick. What do you think?

- Oh, um, Michael, it's, you know, it's very nice, but--

- Come on. Sit down in your spot right here.

Come on. Sit down.

- Well, I... I guess it wouldn't hurt to sit down.

- Dick, the show is called "Vermont Today"

and what we want to do with this show is to celebrate Vermont.

You know, there are a lot of fascinating people

in this state, college professors,

doctors, authors, and these are the people we want.

It's going to be a very uptown show.

- Well, it, it sounds like the kind of show,

you know, I'd like to watch.

- All right, let's talk money.

- You really don't think I can be bought.

- This is what we were talking to start.

- You're kidding? A week? - Uh, no, a year.

- I was going to say maybe I can be bought.

[ laughs ]

- Dick, we've talked it over and everyone here is convinced

that you'd be absolutely perfect for this.

You're a classy guy and the bottom line

is we want to do a classy show.

- Well, I, I can appreciate that.

- Hal, can we see the logo, please?

- Wow, is, is that really the logo?

- That's it, Dick.

Now, I know just showing you a logo

isn't going to change your mind.

I mean a host of "Vermont Today"

is going to have to be committed to quality,

unafraid of hard work, and dedicated to presenting

the kind of show that everyone in Vermont can be proud of.

What do you say?

- What can I say? I'm, I'm your man.

Honey, wait until you see the set.

It is so classy.

- What's it look like?

- Well, they have this logo that says

"Vermont Today" starring Dick Loudon.

Uh, the letters must be a foot, foot and a half high.

- That sounds classy. When's it going to be on?

- Uh, I don't know.

I, I don't think they've worked that out.

- Well, what time will you be on?

- Um, I don't, I don't know.

- Well, how long a show is it? - I, I--

- Well, how often is it on? Every day?

- Gee, I hope it's not on every day.

- Honey, how could you take this job

if you don't know anything about it?

- I know a lot about it. I know it's called

"Vermont Today" starring Dick Loudon

and I'll be interviewing people from Vermont.

- Are you going to pick the guests or are they?

- I, I don't know.

- Well, the next time you talk to Michael

will you find some of this stuff out?

- You bet I will. - When do you see him again?

- Oh, uh, uh, Michael. Can I see you a minute?

- Hi.

- Hi. I'm surprised you two are back so soon.

- Well, we decided to go to a movie,

but Stephanie thought she should change.

- And I thought it would be more fun to have one car.

- I take it you're having a good time.

- Oh, we are.

- You know how hard it is on first dates

to find a subject to talk about.

You go from one topic to another

and everything's so superficial. Not us.

We sat down and started talking about sweaters

and we didn't talk about anything else

for an hour and a half.

Well, if you'll excuse me. I have to change.

- Hey, don't go changing too much.

I like you just the way you are.

[ giggling ]

- Michael, sit down. I'm, I'm glad you're here.

Joanna and I were talking about the show and,

uh, there may have been a few details that I sloughed over.

- Oh, did he tell you about the logo?

- Yeah. He didn't slough over that.

- Uh, maybe I should have asked you this earlier,

but I--see I really don't know that, that much about the show.

- Well, what's to know. It's a half hour format.

It's on every Sunday afternoon at 4:00.

Oh, did I tell you about some of the people

we've got lined up?

- No, I'd love to hear that. - It's class on class.

We've got the President of the University of Vermont.

He seems like a very bright guy.

We've got the first Vermont doctor ever to perform

a heart transplant and, uh, we've got

a woman sculptor lined up who's done some

extraordinary things with, uh, fish bones.

I think it's going to be awesome.

- Sounds awesome. - And classy.

- Ready.

- Wow, leather on leather.

- And your car seats are leather.

- Wow, leather on leather on leather.

- Well, you two have a good time.

- We will. Let's go.

- See you at the studio, Dick.

- Right. - When?

- Um, Michael, when? - I'll call you.

- Dick, how you doing? - Fine.

- I know first shows are a little nerve wracking.

I've directed lots of them. You'll get through it.

- I'm putting myself in your hands.

- Gee, is that the only coat you've got?

- Uh, yeah, why?

- It's going to strobe like crazy.

- What, what does that mean?

- It means when we photograph you it's going

to look like you've got 500,000 ants crawling on you.

- Well, don't worry about it today.

The glare of that white shirt,

nobody's even going to notice it.

Well, got to get back to the booth.

Good show.

- Thanks.

- Surprise. - Surprise.

- Hi.

- What are you guys doing here?

- We wanted to be here for your first show.

- Oh.

- Did they like the jacket I bought you?

- Yeah.

- Hi, Dick.

- Oh, looks like everybody came down for the first show.

- Oh, that's right. Today is your show.

Have you seen Michael? - No, I haven't.

I'd, I'd like to know where he is myself.

- Are you nervous?

- Well, I'm excited, but I'm not nervous.

- How about you, Dick? Are you nervous?

- No. I'm, I'm sure I'll be fine once this show gets going.

Ah, there he is.

Uh, uh, Michael, could I talk to you for a minute?

- Sure, Dick. - Look who's here.

- Um, uh, Michael. - Right here, Dick.

- Could, uh, could we go over the format again?

- Okay.

Well, first you introduce yourself,

explain a little bit about the show,

and then give the folks at home the number

to call so they can call in and ask questions of the guest.

Oh, speaking of guests.

Probably should have consulted you on this.

We decided to move

the President of the University of Vermont

up to next week's show.

- But, but why?

- Well, we felt that in order to attract

that initial viewing audience we needed more a hook.

Something a little more promotable

than some egghead college president.

- Who'd you get? - The world's smallest horse.

- You promised this was going to be a classy show.

- Wait a minute, Dick, since when does size

have anything to do with class?

- We think it's going to be a dynamite segment.

- Look, I, I didn't take this job to, to interview animals.

- Honey, it might not be that bad.

- Yeah, you like horses.

- Michael, this, this--

- DIRECTOR: Thirty seconds, Dick.

- This really is a dirty trick.

- DIRECTOR: Wow, that coat really strobes.

- Did you hear that, Honey? He said it strobes.

- DIRECTOR: 15 seconds, Dick. - Have a good show.

- Yeah. We're all pulling for you

- And don't worry about anything, Dick.

All the people here are seasoned professionals.

- Folks, would you please get off the set?

We're on the air.

- Oh, God, silly us.

- And now, Channel 8 is proud to present

"Vermont Today" starring Dick Luden.

- Uh, good afternoon, everyone and welcome to "Vermont Today,"

the show that celebrates Vermont.

I'm your host Dick Loudon.

Since this is our first show I thought I'd tell you

a little bit about what we're going to be doing here.

Uh, every week we're going to have distinguished guests...

People living and working right here

in Vermont whom we feel make a very special

and important contribution to Vermont culture.

As an added feature of the show we'd like you,

our viewer, to get involved by calling 555-8000

and asking questions of our guest.

[ phone rings ]

- May--maybe you, maybe you can hold

your questions until the, the guest is on stage.

[ phone rings ]

- Who--whoever that is out there,

would, would you please hang up?

[ phone rings ]

- Um, Michael, uh, is there some way, uh, we can take care--

[ phone rings ]

- We can take care of the phones?

- Michael, Michael, Dick is talking to you.

- What? Oh, oh, I'm sorry. Oh, excuse me.

I'll get right on that phone, Dick.

[ phone rings ]

- Well, we'll, we'll, we'll try to get the phones,

uh, taken care of as, as soon as we can.

[ phone rings ]

- Who--whoever that is out there,

I'm not going to answer the phone until our guest is here.

So you may as well just hang up.

Finally. Thank you.

[ phone rings ]

- Hello? Am I on? Hello?

- Our first guest today is a man who is not

only admired here on Vermont, but also representative,

I think, of the kind of fascinating

and inspiring guest that we hope will become

the, the trademark of this program.

Uh, actually, this introduction was written

for the President of the University of Vermont,

who I'm assured will be with us next week,

but it fits equally well--

I, I hope for our guest today,

Mr. Jocko Braverman, owner of the world's smallest horse.

- Howdy, Dick.

- Hi. You want to, want to sit down?

- Oh, thank you.

- Uh, by the way, uh, just so there's no confusion,

I'm not from Vermont.

- You're, you're not? - No.

I'm very happy to hale from the beautiful city

of Hollywood, Florida.

- Oh, Dick, you can hang that phone back up.

It's all taken care of.

- Michael. He's not from Vermont.

- Really? News to me, Dick.

- Well, Mr. Braverman,

since you are here, let's talk about the horse.

Obviously, that, that's it.

- That's right, Dick.

This is the world's smallest horse.

- And, uh, what's his name? - Tiny.

- How do you know he's the world's smallest horse?

- Well, look at him.

- No, what, what I, what I meant was,

he's, he's small, but usually when somebody

says they have the world's smallest horse

you expect, you know, some kind of proof.

- Well, I dare anyone to find one smaller.

[ phone rings ]

- Well, it looks like we have a call. Excuse me.

- Vermont Today.

- DIRECTOR: Push the button for the squawk box, Dick.

- Oh, I, I'm sorry.

- Hello, Mr. Luden?

- Yes, this, this is Dick Loudon.

- I'm calling about the world's smallest horse.

- Wha--what about it?

- I got a horse smaller than that.

- You do?

- I'd like to see it.

- You got it pal. I'll bring it down.

- Wait, wait, wait a minute.

I, I don't think we, we have time for this today.

- MICHAEL: Wait a minute, Dick. Go with it.

- What? - Improvise.

This is great.

If he wants to bring him down let him.

- Um, our, our producer tells me that if,

if you want to come down and challenge Mr. Braverman

you're welcome to as long as you get here

before the show is over.

- I'm on my way.

- Well, looks, looks like we have a challenge.

Certainly the kind of intelligent

audience participation I was hoping to have

here on Vermont Today.

[ phone rings ]

- Uh, Vermont Today.

You're on the air with Dick Loudon.

- Who's this?

- Dick Loudon.

- That's not the world's smallest horse.

- It isn't? - Nope.

The world's smallest horse is lying right next to me,

here, on the couch.

- Well, why, why don't you bring him down?

- Well, I hate to wake him up,

but okay.

- So, uh, so we don't spend,

uh, all day answering the phone,

um, any of you out there who think you have

a horse smaller than Tiny here,

uh, we invite you to bring him to the station

before the show is over

and, and challenge Mr. Braverman.

Now, let's go to a commercial.

We'll, we'll be right back.

[ music playing ]

- All right, Dick. What a start.

- Michael, could I speak to you in private?

You promised me--

Hi, hi, Stephanie.

You, you promised me this was going to be a classy show.

- Well, Dick, what are you so upset about?

People love animals. This will make them love you.

- Yeah, but, I, I want this show to have dignity.

- Believe me, Dick, as long if you have dignity

the show will have dignity.

- See there--there's no reason to come down here

claiming you have the world's smallest horse

when clearly you don't.

- I mean this, this horse isn't, isn't close to being as,

as, as small as Tiny here.

- Well, it's kind of hard to tell on TV.

I don't have a very good set.

- DIRECTOR: Dick, behind you. We have another challenger.

- What, what's going on here? What, what are you doing?

- Is there a prize for this?

- This isn't a horse. This is a basset hound.

- No, it isn't.

- Yes, it is and I'm sorry, but, but this doesn't count.

- Well, then I hate your show.

- Don, no, no more challengers.

- DIRECTOR: It's too late, Dick.

- Aw, come on.

- Who do I show the horse to?

- You, you really think this is the world's smallest horse?

- No, this is the world's oldest horse.

- We didn't ask for the world's oldest horse.

- Well, that woman doesn't even have a horse.

- At least it's small. - Not for a basset hound.

- Look, look, we're, we're almost out of time.

As far as I'm concerned, uh, Mr. Braverman,

you have the world's smallest horse

or at least the smallest horse in Vermont.

Uh, you and Tiny have a lot to, to celebrate.

For those of you who tuned in expecting

to see the President of the University of Vermont,

uh, this, this isn't him.

But, uh, tune in next week and,

and keep tuning in as Vermont Today presents

stimulating and interesting guests

in our continued efforts

to celebrate Vermont.

This is Dick Loudon saying good afternoon

and I'm, I'm, I'm sorry.

- We're clear.

Could somebody please get those animals off the stage?

- Oh, no, right on my new set!