Original subtitles

- Honey, I've worked hard all my life, right?

- Right.

- If I could have one extravagance

for all the work I've done, what do you think that would be?

- What do you think it would be?

- Snowmobile?

- Oh, boy, a snowmobile!

- Morning. - Morning.

- Hi, guys.

- Guess what Dick is buying?

- Season basketball tickets.

- Close. A snowmobile!

- What's this about basketball tickets?

- Oh, feel free to say no if you're not interested.

But the Big Green's first basketball game

is tomorrow night.

- The Big Green? - That's Dartmouth, Joanna.

- Oh.

- Don't feel badly. Kirk didn't know either.

Anyway, I'm this giant basketball fan.

So I asked Kirk if we could get season tickets.

And he said, well, why don't we ask Dick and Joanna

if they'd like to go in with us?

- Well, we appreciate your asking,

but Joanna doesn't like basketball.

- Oh, really?

- I know it's supposed to be exciting and fast-paced.

But for some reason, it bores me.

And whenever I watch it, I end up getting grumpy

and depressed.

- Have you seen that many games?

- Oh, yeah, I was a cheerleader.

- George, how about you splitting the tickets with us?

- Me? - Yeah. You like basketball.

- But who would I go with?

- That's the great thing about this.

You can go with anybody you want.

- Dick, would you go to some of the games with me?

- Sure, George. I love basketball.

I'd even pay for the games I go to.

- Remember, you're buying a snowmobile.

- I'll just buy a cheaper one, George.

- In that case, I'll do it!

- Great. You go down today, stand in line

and get the tickets.

- Uh, Kirk, this is our idea.

I think one of us should go down and get the tickets.

- That's okay. I'll take care of it.

- Thanks. That's sweet, George.

- Does anybody know where the Dartmouth ticket office is?

- Somewhere at Dartmouth.

- Hi, George. - Hi, Stephanie.

You happen to know where the Dartmouth ticket office is?

- Somewhere at Dartmouth. - Dick was right!

- Joanna, how would you like to go

to a poetry reading tonight?

- I didn't know you were that interested in poetry.

- I wasn't until a cute guy handed me this flyer.

- "The Romantic Verse of Byron Shelley and Keats.

8 p.m. tonight, Campbell Hall, Room 309."

- Sounds like a great place to meet men, don't you think?

- Oh, I think at a poetry recital,

there would be more women there than men.

- And I think other men will think the same thing.

Which I why I think there will be more men there than women.

- Well, I may be the only one

there who's interested in the poetry.

But I'd like to go. - Good.

- Wait a minute. I'm confused.

If you're only going there to meet men,

why do you want Joanna there?

- Because I don't want it

to look like that's why I'm going.

I just want it to look like I'm there with

my very good friend to be intellectually enriched.

Providing my very good friend promises to get lost

if some guy hits on me.

- Maybe you'd like your very good friend to take her own car?

- Would you? - No.

- Well, we can work that out later.

Meanwhile, I'd better go up and figure out

what I'm gonna wear.

- And maybe make some beds while you're at it?

- You know, on second thought, maybe I should take my own car.

If she meets somebody there,

she could end up leaving me there.

- Well, don't worry about it, honey.

If she does, I'll pick you up in my snowmobile.

- "For me, I feign would please the chosen few.

Those souls to feeling and to nature true

will spare the childish verse.

And not destroy the light effusions of a heedless boy.

I seek not glory from the senseless crowd.

Of fancied laurels I shall ne'er be proud.

Their warmest plaudits I would scarcely prize.

Their sneers or censures I like despise."

[ applause ]

- Thank you, Ted.

That was answers to some elegant verses

sent to a friend by the author complaining

that one of his descriptions was rather too warmly drawn.

And that concludes our selections from Byron.

Are there any questions or comments?

Yes?

- I just wanted to ask...Ted, isn't it?

- Yes.

- Could you tell me when that last poem was written?

- November 26, 1806. - I thought so.

Thank you.

- Well, if there are no more questions or comments,

why don't we take another 10-minute coffee break

and resume with the selections of John Keats?

- Okay, let's go.

- What about Keats?

- Joanna, I have sat through two poets and two intermissions

and not one guy has even stepped on my foot.

I wanna leave.

- But Keats is one of my favorites.

- It's just more poetry.

- But you're the one who asked me to come.

- So I should be the one to say when we go.

- Well, maybe if you tried listening, you'd...

- Heads! - Heads what?

- Well, enjoying it? - Enjoying it?

I can't get enough.

It's like I was just telling this lady here

that the best is yet to come.

- Oh, you're an admirer of Keats, are you?

- We're talking Keatsomania.

- And who do you admire?

- Well, actually, I like Keats too.

Although I think Byron was probably the more romantic.

- Well, certainly in his personal life.

To quote J. H. Plumb, "Byron was born to be romantic.

The driven individualist sensitive to wrong,

yet capable of diabolical personal behavior.

Saint and sadist in one impulsive heart."

By the way, I'm David Cameron.

- Stephanie Vanderkellen.

- And you are? - Joanna Loudon.

- Oh, that's a beautiful sport coat.

I love to see men in tweed.

- Thank you. Are you a student?

I don't think I've seen you around before.

- No, but that's very flattering.

[ chuckles ]

- I always think of tweed as a sign of high intelligence.

- Could I ask how you heard about tonight?

- Someone handed Stephanie a flyer.

- Someone handed me a flyer.

- Well, it's always nice to see new faces

at our poetry readings,

especially faces as pretty as yours.

- Oh, well, thank you.

- Her face is married!

- I beg your pardon?

- Stephanie! - Well, it is.

- I know, but I'm sure Mr. Cameron

didn't mean anything by that.

- Well, you're right.

It was just an innocent compliment.

And the name is David.

Can I get either one of you a cup of coffee?

- I don't think we care for any coffee, thank you.

Maybe we should be going.

- Well, you're not gonna leave before Keats.

- I'm sorry, but I do have to get up

fairly early tomorrow morning.

- She and her husband own the Stratford Inn

and we have to get up and cook breakfast for the guests.

- Well, maybe you can catch Keats another time then.

- Maybe so. Ready? - Definitely.

- It was nice meeting you. We really enjoyed the evening.

- Ow! - Oh, I'm sorry.

- Sure, now that we're leaving!

- Yes, I want to place an order from the sales catalog.

On page 32, the Silver Eagle Snowmobile

with the telescopic strut suspension

and the twin piston port engine.

It says in the catalog that you can get

optional leather grip handles.

Yeah, are they really good or pretty much decorative?

Just decorative.

Yeah, give me those too.

One more thing, the picture in the catalog.

It showed the guy riding the snowmobile.

He has a jacket on with the Silver Eagle decal

on the back.

I was wondering, would you...oh, you do?

Good. Give me one of those too.

Right. Thank you. Goodbye.

- What was that about?

- I was just getting my snowmobile.

So how was the poetry reading?

I take it you didn't feel that Keats

was all that he's cracked up to be?

- We didn't stay for Keats.

- I know Stephanie's upset, but it really was kind of funny.

[ laughs ]

- What was?

- Well, we were there because Stephanie

wanted to meet some men, right?

- Yeah, right.

[ laughs ]

- I'm sorry, Stephanie, but you do have to admit it was ironic.

Anyway, this professor came up to the two of us

at intermission.

[ laughs ]

Instead of talking to Stephanie, he started talking to me.

- Talking to you? He was flirting his brains out.

- He was not!

- What did he say to you?

- He just asked me if I was enjoying myself

and if I liked Keats.

- Then he said you were pretty.

[ laughs ]

- Did he say you were pretty?

- Well, no, not really.

What he said was I had a pretty face.

- Well, then he said you were pretty.

- Well, I guess he did, but he didn't mean anything by it.

He was just trying to make me feel comfortable.

[ telephone rings ]

- I'll get that. Hello? Stratford Inn.

Yes, she is.

May I tell her who's calling, please?

Oh. Hold on.

Was the professor's name David Cameron?

- Don't tell me that's him.

- Seems to be obsessed with your company.

- Do you believe this guy? - Stephanie, be quiet!

[ whispering ] - Do you believe this guy?

- Hello, Professor Cameron...David.

Yeah, we got home fine, thank you.

Yes, I'm sorry we couldn't stay too.

Oh, that sounds interesting.

Could you hold on for just a second?

He says he's gonna be discussing Keats

in his morning class tomorrow.

And since I couldn't stay tonight,

if I'd like to, I can sit in.

- In his class or his lap?

- Wait a minute.

He's calling you at 9:30 tonight to ask you

if you wanna audit a class tomorrow morning?

- What's wrong with that?

Oh, come on, you two.

He's just being nice.

Look, he knows I'm married.

You think he'd be calling me here

if it was anything but innocent?

That is so insulting!

- What is?

- That you don't think it's possible that a man

could find me intellectually stimulating.

I happen to like Keats. He happens to teach Keats.

But you think the only reason he could possibly

be calling me is because he likes my face!

- Look, I'm not making this difficult.

I mean, if you wanna go to a class by

some good-time Charlie crawled out from under

a rock poetry professor, then go ahead.

- David, what time did you say that class was tomorrow?

11:30? I'd be happy to attend.

Thank you for asking. I'll see you then. Bye.

Now if nothing else, I'm gonna prove to both of you

that a man and a woman can share interests

and be friends without being anything more than that.

Maybe then you will see that the both of you

are being childish.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to bed.

I have school tomorrow.

- How can you let this happen?

- Stephanie, you have to understand something.

No matter what I think of this guy, I trust Joanna.

- Oh. I never thought of that.

- So what'd he look like?

- He's gorgeous.

- Damn!

- I just think that, when you compare

the kind of life that Keats led with the kind of life that,

say, Byron led, the Keats poetry seems more sincere.

Or maybe I'm being influenced by what I know about the two men?

- But is in fact knowing the personality

of the poet enriches the body of the work,

then that's a very valid statement to make.

Oops, we're out of time.

We'll continue this discussion on Monday.

Everyone have a good weekend.

Joanna, could you stay after for a second?

- Sure. - Did you enjoy it?

- I really did. Thank you.

- Listen, if you've got the time, would you like

to have a bite to eat?

- Oh, gee, I hadn't planned on having lunch.

- Oh, don't feel pressured. It's up to you.

- I better not. Thanks anyway.

- Okay.

- This is silly.

The only reason I said no is because,

well, it doesn't matter.

Actually, there's no reason why I can't have lunch.

- Great. I hope you don't mind bread and cheese.

- We're eating here? - I know it's nothing fancy.

It's all right, isn't it?

- Well, sure, fine.

- I'm sorry we can't go out, but I have another class

in an hour.

And the cafeteria is usually jammed this time of day.

I know it's kind of roughing it.

But when you're a teacher,

you get used to the bare essentials.

Red or white?

- You have wine when you're teaching?

- I just happened to pick these up on the spur of the moment.

You will have some, won't you?

- Maybe a little white.

You're very good at that.

[ chuckles ]

You know, there's something I have to tell you.

- What's that?

- It sounds silly, but my husband

didn't want me to come here today.

- He didn't?

- No. I feel embarrassed even saying this.

But he thinks you're interested in me.

[ laughs ]

- You're kidding. - No.

- What'd you tell him?

- Well, you know.

I told him I think we're interested

in the same things, books, poetry.

- Would you be interested in going to New York

for the weekend?

- What?

- Or to Boston. I don't care.

- Is this a joke? - No.

- You are sick! - You're insulted, right?

- You bet I am! You know darn well I'm married!

- What's that got to do with it?

- It has a lot to do with it.

I happen to believe in fidelity.

- But, Joanna, you don't understand.

This isn't some shallow off-the-cuff proposition.

I really have the hots for you!

- This is unbelievable! - Why?

- This is exactly what Dick said you would do.

He said me you were coming on to me.

But, no, I said you were just a nice guy who liked Keats.

I made a big speech about how men and women

can have platonic relationships.

Boy, naive me!

- No. Wait a minute. You actually said all that?

- You bet I did, and more!

And now I feel like such a dope!

- Oh, God, I hate myself. - What?

- I mean, that was a lousy thing to do.

I don't know why I did it.

I mean, I won't even try to make any excuses.

I guess I'm just a victim of the age we live in.

But you know what really makes me sick?

I happen to agree with everything that you said.

I think that men and women should be able

to be friends without any complications.

And your the kind of woman I would love

to have for a friend, Joanna.

But, oh, no.

I had to open up my big stupid mouth and really blow it!

- Well, now take it easy.

I'd like to think I'm broad-minded enough

to allow people to make mistakes.

- No, not one this big.

- Yes, I am.

- This is incredible.

You are absolutely

the most understanding woman

I have ever met in my life, Joanna.

What would you say to just a nooner?

- Oh, hi, Stephanie. Is George around?

- He's in the basement.

- George, would you come up here for a minute?

- Who's that? - Dick!

So where is everybody?

- Dick's writing and Joanna's at a poetry class.

- You seem depressed.

- Kirk, if I ask you a question, will you answer it honestly?

- Sure. - Do you think I'm attractive?

- Yeah. Why?

- Well, last night Joanna and I went somewhere.

It doesn't matter where. It was a poetry reading.

And I went thinking that I might meet a guy.

But during one of the breaks, this very handsome,

very eligible professor came up.

And instead of talking to me, he started talking to Joanna.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

I mean, Joanna's very attractive.

But ever since it happened,

I've felt like burning my hair and moving to a convent.

- Right.

- I mean, looking good is what I do.

It's really all I do.

With other people, if you don't like the way they look,

they've always got their personality

to fall back on or they dance well.

But with me, let's face it, I'm living life without a net.

If you don't like the way I look,

then you just don't like Stephanie.

I don't know.

I keep thinking maybe it's time I started

trying to improve myself.

Read more, take more of an interest in other people.

Just try to become a better all-around person.

- Stephanie?

You're a very attractive young woman.

You've got great hair, great skin, ace chassis.

You don't need to be a better person.

- Oh, Kirk. I had a hunch it was you.

- Yeah. I came over to find out

if you got the tickets yesterday.

- I've got them right here. - Great.

- Don't forget. You owe me $20.

- George?

If I ask you a question, will you answer it honestly?

We'll talk later.

- Hi. - Hi.

How was the class? - Fine.

- More to the point, how was the professor?

- Fine. How's everything here?

- Everything here is fine.

- Oh, hi, honey. Didn't know you were home.

- I just walked in.

- So how was the class? - ALL: Fine.

- Good.

- Well, if you'll all excuse me, I think I'll go start supper.

- It's a quarter to one.

- Oh. Well, then I'll go start lunch.

- We already ate.

- Anybody feel like tea?

- Honey, did something happen at class?

- Oh, Dick.

- Good! Something did happen!

- Oh, please don't make me go into it

because I just feel naive and stupid.

- The clown made a pass at you, didn't he?

- He asked me if I wanted to go to New York

with him for the weekend.

- What building is the classroom in?

- Down the hall, Room 309, I'll drive.

- You are not going there!

I don't want you doing something crazy!

You could get hurt! - I just wanna talk to him.

- But I already took care of it. What are you gonna say?

- I don't know.

I don't even wanna think about it.

I just wanna walk into his classroom,

look at his face and let my Irish temper take over!

- Dick, come back! Dick, wait a minute!

Dick, for heaven's sake, Dick!

You're not even Irish!

- Excuse me. Is this Professor Cameron's room?

- Yes, it is. Can I help you?

- Are you Professor Cameron? - Yes, I am.

- I'm Dick Loudon.

- Oh, how do you do?

- My wife is Joanna Loudon.

- Uh-oh.

- I understand you like New York.

- Look, Mr. Loudon, I, uh...

- You know, a lot of thoughts

went through my mind about how to handle this.

Some of them were pretty nuts.

But since we are civilized men living in the 20th century

with respect for each other's personal property,

I certainly wouldn't come over here to break furniture.

[ chuckles ]

Well, maybe just one.

- Mr. Loudon, this may not mean anything to you.

But I think I should tell you these aren't my chairs.

- But this is yours, right? - Right.

- You know, there are a lot of things I could say to you.

But I didn't come over here to give you a speech

on morality or tell you how you should conduct your life.

What I did come over here for was to sit down man to man,

discuss the problem.

And see if we couldn't come up with

a mutually acceptable solution.

- What if I promise never to go near your wife ever again

as long as I live?

- You know, that's funny.

That's exactly the solution I was thinking of.

[ chuckles ]

- I'm glad we found it.

- Well, I won't take up any more of your time.

Nice meeting you, Professor.

- Wonderful meeting you, Dick.

- And you will send me the bill for this.

- No, I'll take care of it. - You're sure?

- Oh, yeah. - Great.

- I don't know.

I keep thinking maybe it's time I started

trying to improve myself.

Read more, take more of an interest in other people.

Just try to be a better all-around person.

- Sounds like a good idea.

- Maybe I'll talk to Dick.

- We're leaving. - Oh, where are you going?

- Dick's taking me out to dinner.

- Yeah, Joanna didn't get much lunch.

- Hi, guys. - Hi, everybody.

- I thought you were going to the basketball game?

- We were, but Kirk came down with a throat infection.

- I guess the tickets are yours, George.

- Oh, thanks, but who could I get to go with me this late?

- That's your problem.

- I'll go with you. - You will?

- What? How can you go? I'm sick!

- Well, then you should be home in bed.

You ready, George?

- I'll get my coat. We can take my car.

- Bye, sweetie. Take care of yourself.

- Yeah, we should be going too.

- Goodnight, guys. - Goodnight.

- I hate when things don't go exactly as I plan!

What am I supposed to do tonight?

- Kirk, I know I've asked you this question before.

But answer honestly, do you really think I'm attractive?