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1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
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2
00:00:43,320 --> 00:00:46,847
Okay, it's happening.
It's spontaneous.
3
00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:49,400
This... Who saw this coming?
I did not see this coming.
4
00:00:49,480 --> 00:00:51,721
Okay, okay, okay.
Okay, let's do it.
5
00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:54,246
Okay. It's happening.
It's totally happening.
6
00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:55,401
Whoo!
7
00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:58,609
What a twist.
Oh, yeah. Okay.
8
00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:00,409
This is so spontaneous.
9
00:01:00,480 --> 00:01:01,680
We're having sex one minute...
10
00:01:01,704 --> 00:01:03,091
Who knows what's
gonna happen next?
11
00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:04,880
Who knows what we'll be
doing in 10 minutes?
12
00:01:04,904 --> 00:01:06,808
Okay.
This is crazy!
13
00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:07,921
We're doing this on
the dining room...
14
00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:09,764
I've never had sex on a dining
room chair in my whole life.
15
00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:11,291
This is amazing.
16
00:01:11,360 --> 00:01:12,760
I'm taking you to
Boner Town, bitch.
17
00:01:12,784 --> 00:01:14,563
Don't call me "bitch!"
Okay. I'm sorry.
18
00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:17,007
I'm taking you to
Boner Town, love. Okay.
19
00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:21,562
Baby? Baby?
20
00:01:22,320 --> 00:01:23,720
She's totally
fucking looking at us.
21
00:01:23,744 --> 00:01:24,521
Hey, baby.
22
00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:26,682
She knows what's happening.
23
00:01:26,760 --> 00:01:28,762
She totally knows
what's happening.
24
00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:30,960
She can't see anything.
She just sees shapes.
25
00:01:30,984 --> 00:01:33,684
She sees shapes fucking each other,
is what she sees. She can...
26
00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:35,569
She's fine.
She just sees shapes.
27
00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:36,641
It's like bouncing balls.
28
00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:38,245
My bouncing balls.
29
00:01:38,320 --> 00:01:39,890
She's fine. She's fine.
You know what?
30
00:01:39,960 --> 00:01:41,800
Let me turn her around.
Let me turn her around.
31
00:01:41,824 --> 00:01:43,528
Okay. Okay.
32
00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:45,762
Hey, sweetie.
Hey, little girl.
33
00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:49,481
Gonna turn around now.
Gonna look at the wall now.
34
00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:50,607
Let's go.
35
00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:53,160
Okay. There you go.
Love you, sweetie. Okay.
36
00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:56,128
Okay! Let's do it.
37
00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:57,560
We're back.
We're back in business.
38
00:01:57,584 --> 00:01:58,327
Okay. Okay.
39
00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:01,722
We are back.
It's happening. Okay.
40
00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:06,642
Oh, God. She keeps
turning... Turn around.
41
00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:09,007
Just look that way.
Just turn around.
42
00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:10,127
Why is she... Okay.
43
00:02:10,200 --> 00:02:11,611
I think it's over.
44
00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:12,681
We still did that.
45
00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:15,525
Oh, I'm sorry.
Okay. We still did that.
46
00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:17,489
Hello.
47
00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:18,960
What are you doing
in your Jumperoo?
48
00:02:18,984 --> 00:02:19,801
This never happened.
49
00:02:19,880 --> 00:02:21,644
We're gonna finish that.
We will finish that.
50
00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:23,484
FYI, we're gonna
do it in every room.
51
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:25,483
And this time,
I'm going to ejaculate.
52
00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:27,210
Just because we have
a house and a baby
53
00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:28,845
doesn't mean that
we're old people.
54
00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:30,325
No. Fuck old people.
55
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:32,004
Old people don't
fuck like we just did.
56
00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:33,650
Baby, I nearly came.
57
00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:35,165
This is like The Brady Bunch.
58
00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:37,402
I know! What's
nice about the house
59
00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:40,484
is that it looks like every
penny we have is inside of it.
60
00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:41,891
So, at least it looks like it.
61
00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:43,331
It's legitimate, right?
62
00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:44,925
Neighbors. Hey.
Hi.
63
00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:48,524
Hey.
Oh. Gay couple.
64
00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:50,329
There's a gay couple.
Gay couple.
65
00:02:50,440 --> 00:02:52,329
They seem like a nice couple.
They're so happy.
66
00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:53,885
That's awesome!
Dream!
67
00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:55,724
It is. Well,
it's the second dream.
68
00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:59,009
First dream, Taco Bell opens next door.
That would be fucking dope.
69
00:02:59,080 --> 00:03:00,684
Hi!
Hi!
70
00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:03,331
Hey. It's a fabulous
neighborhood.
71
00:03:05,640 --> 00:03:07,324
Oh, she's awake.
Really?
72
00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:09,084
She's awake.
Okay.
73
00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:10,241
Okay.
Uh... Well, bye.
74
00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:11,367
Okay. Bye. Love you.
75
00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:12,680
Love you. Bye.
Have a good day.
76
00:03:12,704 --> 00:03:13,561
Can I come?
77
00:03:13,640 --> 00:03:14,721
Kidding.
78
00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:17,280
No, we'll have a great day! We'll
have a great day. Okay. Bye!
79
00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:18,801
I love you!
80
00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:22,044
Uh-oh. Mac attack.
81
00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:23,121
Hey!
82
00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:24,241
Hey, there he is.
83
00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:25,367
Hey-
84
00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:27,602
I need that
Mendelson file by 4:00.
85
00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:28,886
Okay, yeah.
86
00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:32,203
And this is not your bro, this
is your boss talking.
87
00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:33,840
I'll have it to you
by 3:30. How's that?
88
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:35,370
Mac!
Okay.
89
00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:36,441
Mac!
90
00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:37,561
What?
91
00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:38,971
Wait. Hold on.
92
00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:40,606
Whoo!
93
00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:41,807
Okay!
94
00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:45,244
Oh, jeez, it's so far.
95
00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:49,882
Hey, we gotta go work on that
thing we were discussing.
96
00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:52,002
What thing?
What's going on?
97
00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:55,163
We have to go work
on that joint file.
98
00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:56,686
Of course. The joint file.
99
00:03:56,760 --> 00:03:58,125
You guys are doing a joint file?
100
00:03:58,200 --> 00:03:59,400
We have a joint file together.
101
00:03:59,433 --> 00:04:01,003
Yeah. We're pretty
deep into it. It's tight.
102
00:04:01,073 --> 00:04:02,769
It's pretty thick.
It's a big file.
103
00:04:02,840 --> 00:04:04,649
Pretty fat file.
It's dank.
104
00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:06,440
We should blaze through
it, probably. Yeah.
105
00:04:06,464 --> 00:04:09,243
Yeah, we gotta file that
for the THC Corporation.
106
00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:10,685
Okay-
107
00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:12,131
Because we are in the weeds.
108
00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:15,922
How's Stella?
She's a cute baby.
109
00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:17,000
It's nice.
110
00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:19,640
I think I realized for the first
six months, everything is fucked.
111
00:04:19,714 --> 00:04:21,114
Everything changes completely.
Yeah.
112
00:04:21,154 --> 00:04:23,731
You're like, "My life is over!
Everything's different!
113
00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:25,520
"Everything I could do,
I can't do anymore."
114
00:04:25,544 --> 00:04:28,290
But now, I realize that that's
all gonna go back to normal.
115
00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:30,283
You sure about that?
She can start drinking soon.
116
00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:33,091
They make these little strips that
test your tit milk for alcohol.
117
00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:34,446
She puts them on her tits?
118
00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:36,568
Yeah, she puts them on her tits.
Her tits are huge right now.
119
00:04:36,640 --> 00:04:38,085
Are they really?
But I can't touch them.
120
00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:40,003
She won't even let me see
them, is what's fucked up.
121
00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:41,081
What?
When we have sex,
122
00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:42,605
she leaves a wife-beater on.
123
00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:44,409
It's like having sex
with Tony Soprano.
124
00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:45,481
You're the goomah
in this situation.
125
00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:46,561
Yeah, it's fucked up.
126
00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:49,160
You are the only one of our friends
that has a house and a kid.
127
00:04:49,184 --> 00:04:49,881
Yeah.
128
00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:53,203
It's like you're, like, 10 years
older than everyone, you know?
129
00:04:53,280 --> 00:04:54,327
You're divorced.
130
00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:55,481
The point is...
131
00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:57,884
It's Jimmy time.
You know what I mean?
132
00:04:57,960 --> 00:04:59,530
And the girls,
when you're dating...
133
00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:00,965
Yeah?
Holy shit!
134
00:05:01,040 --> 00:05:02,883
See, we missed out
on the whole, kind of,
135
00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:04,843
sex-tech bubble,
you know what I mean?
136
00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:09,642
Now they got Sex Book
and Fuck Friends and...
137
00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:12,485
There's this thing called
Grindr, which is just...
138
00:05:12,560 --> 00:05:14,961
Your phone beeps when there's
someone horny near you.
139
00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:16,451
It's kind of amazing.
140
00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:18,966
It's mostly guys, but I'm gonna
find a girl pretty soon.
141
00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:21,647
You're up.
142
00:05:21,720 --> 00:05:22,881
Oh, Oh! Oh!
143
00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:24,041
Hey-
144
00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:25,440
What are you guys
doing out here?
145
00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:31,290
- There are the girls.
- Hi.
146
00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:33,169
How's it going, sweetie?
Good.
147
00:05:33,240 --> 00:05:34,446
What's happening?
148
00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:36,085
There you go.
149
00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:37,889
She's excited to see you.
150
00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:39,849
Wait, wait. Hey.
151
00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:46,448
Man, parenting is easy.
Look at that!
152
00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:47,851
Yeah, two hours a day.
153
00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:48,921
Yeah.
154
00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:53,202
This is delightful. This
is awesome, this thing.
155
00:05:53,280 --> 00:05:55,044
We should get one of
these above our bed.
156
00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:56,451
Oh!
157
00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:03,524
Hello?
Hey!
158
00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:05,887
Oh, my God. You guys have
to come out with me.
159
00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:07,160
I haven't seen you in forever.
160
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,531
Yeah. What's going on?
161
00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:11,126
Okay. My friend is spinning
at the Royalton tonight.
162
00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:13,089
There's a rumor that
Prince might perform.
163
00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:14,685
I really need to
get out of the house.
164
00:06:14,760 --> 00:06:17,650
I have not been out since
Jimmy and I got divorced
165
00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:20,291
and I really need you
there. Please?
166
00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:21,970
How do we do this? Do I
call the babysitter bunch?
167
00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:23,520
I don't know about that.
Let's just...
168
00:06:23,544 --> 00:06:24,731
It's too late. We'll...
Okay.
169
00:06:24,800 --> 00:06:26,006
Why don't you drop it
at the fire station?
170
00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:27,360
We can't leave her at the...
171
00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:29,480
What are you talking about?
That's not how it works.
172
00:06:29,504 --> 00:06:30,161
The baby drop.
173
00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:31,367
Okay. No.
174
00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:32,441
I'm kidding.
175
00:06:32,520 --> 00:06:33,646
What are you,
like, having a baby,
176
00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:35,200
you, like, lost
your sense of humor?
177
00:06:35,279 --> 00:06:36,280
What are you doing?
178
00:06:36,399 --> 00:06:39,527
I am using the little box in
the Face Time to put makeup on.
179
00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:41,250
You're not even
looking at us, are you?
180
00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:43,926
No. Who looks at the other
people when they Face Time?
181
00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:47,163
Why are you guys not coming out?
Is fucking Jimmy there? Jimmy?
182
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:48,651
No, Jimmy's not here.
183
00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:50,370
We don't have a babysitter, so...
Yeah.
184
00:06:50,440 --> 00:06:52,886
Hello. Fucking
bring her.
185
00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:57,802
No...
186
00:06:57,880 --> 00:06:59,609
Yes?
187
00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:01,250
No. Yes?
188
00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:02,960
What are you doing?
What are you thinking?
189
00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:04,921
Let's just do it!
190
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:06,525
This could be,
like, a doorway to
191
00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:08,160
a whole new life,
where we have it all.
192
00:07:08,184 --> 00:07:09,810
We have fun and a baby.
That's fantastic!
193
00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:10,847
This is the moment!
I need this!
194
00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:12,610
This is the moment. Let's do it.
Okay. I need to go out!
195
00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:13,727
Let's go!
Let's go!
196
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:15,560
All right. I'm down.
Little chicken. Come on!
197
00:07:15,584 --> 00:07:17,124
Baby's first rave.
Baby's first rave.
198
00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:19,040
Baby's first rave.
199
00:07:19,064 --> 00:07:21,570
Baby's first rave.
200
00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:29,360
Baby's first rave!
Baby's first rave!
201
00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:33,971
Wait. Shit! Diaper bag!
It needs to be restocked.
202
00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:35,280
I gotta get more shit. Okay.
Okay.
203
00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:38,000
You know what? She needs an extra
Onesie in case she craps herself.
204
00:07:38,024 --> 00:07:39,024
I think I better pump.
205
00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:40,560
You gotta pump?
I think I need to pump.
206
00:07:40,584 --> 00:07:43,562
She wants your necklace. Give
me your necklace. Now, go pump.
207
00:07:43,640 --> 00:07:44,880
We should get the cooler.
208
00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:46,161
Okay, here we go.
209
00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:48,846
Wait. If we're bringing the swing,
let's just bring the Jumperoo.
210
00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:50,570
We have room.
I think we have room.
211
00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:51,886
Butt Paste. I don't know
where the Butt Paste is.
212
00:07:51,960 --> 00:07:53,007
I don't know where it is.
213
00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:55,120
Binky, Binky, Binky. I don't
know where the Binky is.
214
00:07:55,144 --> 00:07:56,794
Binky's over here.
I got Binky.
215
00:07:58,080 --> 00:07:59,730
Huh?
216
00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:01,760
We fell asleep.
Let's go. Let's go.
217
00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:02,960
Okay, let's go.
We'll go now.
218
00:08:02,984 --> 00:08:05,326
Wait. Shit!
Another video.
219
00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:08,210
Best night ever.
220
00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:10,362
Look at how much
food I just ordered.
221
00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:12,841
I'm not even hungry.
It's so wasteful!
222
00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:14,081
We missed it.
223
00:08:15,040 --> 00:08:16,041
Shit. Don't hit me.
224
00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:17,326
I'm so tired.
225
00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:19,050
I know.
Let's just go to sleep.
226
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:23,162
Tomorrow's a new day.
227
00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:25,685
Love you.
228
00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:29,969
Good night.
Good night.
229
00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:38,564
Excuse me. Sorry.
230
00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:44,851
They're actually really good.
They taste like vanilla, kinda.
231
00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:46,371
They're awesome.
232
00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:48,249
Pudgie, what do you got there?
233
00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:50,124
Moving truck. Moving truck.
234
00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:51,690
There's a moving truck.
Wow.
235
00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:53,360
Who do you think... Come on.
Oh, my God.
236
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:54,606
Look, look, look.
237
00:08:55,800 --> 00:08:57,131
What do we got?
238
00:08:57,800 --> 00:08:59,643
Gay couple? Gay couple?
239
00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:01,851
What is this?
What are they doing?
240
00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:05,040
And what are these kids
in the pink shirts?
241
00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:08,681
Is that a fraternity?
242
00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:12,171
Yeah, they got
big Greek letters.
243
00:09:12,280 --> 00:09:13,850
Looks like a fraternity.
244
00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:16,211
Oh, my God.
Look at that guy.
245
00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:18,248
That guy's the sexiest
guy I've ever seen.
246
00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:21,164
He looks like something a gay
guy designed in a laboratory.
247
00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:23,440
Look at his arms.
248
00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:25,602
Oh, my God. They're like
two giant, veiny dicks.
249
00:09:25,680 --> 00:09:27,091
It's like a gun show.
250
00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:28,650
Look at the blonde.
251
00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:30,688
I don't see which one you're...
252
00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:32,360
Oh, you don't know
who I'm talking about?
253
00:09:32,384 --> 00:09:34,804
That blonde dude with the red sleeves?
He's a handsome guy.
254
00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:36,922
What do we do? Okay, okay.
I know what we do.
255
00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:38,280
They're gonna be loud,
obviously.
256
00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:39,800
And they're gonna
fucking party a lot.
257
00:09:39,824 --> 00:09:41,170
Baby,
this is a fucking nightmare!
258
00:09:41,240 --> 00:09:42,765
I agree.
We need to go over there.
259
00:09:42,840 --> 00:09:44,763
We need to fucking tell them
not to do that. Right now.
260
00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:46,490
As soon as they move in,
they know this
261
00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:48,204
neighborhood doesn't
stand for that shit.
262
00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:50,726
And we're fucking grown-ups, we have
a baby, and they need to be cool.
263
00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:52,600
They need to be cool to us, okay?
Yeah, yeah.
264
00:09:52,670 --> 00:09:54,910
But... Okay, wait. Maybe we
don't come on strong, though.
265
00:09:54,934 --> 00:09:56,369
Maybe we come on...
We act cool.
266
00:09:56,440 --> 00:09:58,090
We come on like peers.
Yeah. Yes.
267
00:09:58,200 --> 00:09:59,167
Totally, we be cool.
We take them a joint.
268
00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:00,287
Yeah. We be cool.
269
00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:01,361
Right?
Ooh! We roll them a joint.
270
00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:02,920
Roll them a spliff.
Give that to them.
271
00:10:02,944 --> 00:10:04,548
Then we seem cool.
They're thinking...
272
00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:06,285
We're hip.
"Oh, they're like us.
273
00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:07,680
"This could be us
in a few years."
274
00:10:07,704 --> 00:10:08,966
Yes, respect.
275
00:10:09,040 --> 00:10:10,530
They'll want us to like them.
Yeah.
276
00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:12,762
Then we say,
"By the way, keep it down."
277
00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:15,040
Exactly. Well, we won't say it like that.
We'll just...
278
00:10:15,196 --> 00:10:17,196
No, of course not. I'll say it.
Like, we'll just...
279
00:10:17,220 --> 00:10:19,769
You know, "Keep it down."
280
00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:21,171
You're doing it a little weird.
281
00:10:21,240 --> 00:10:22,446
Do it again. Do it normal.
Yeah. Like...
282
00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:23,487
I'll throw it away.
Just throw it away.
283
00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:25,284
Just like, you know, "If you
could just keep it down."
284
00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:26,964
Just say it normal!
I can get it!
285
00:10:27,040 --> 00:10:28,400
It's an important,
key phrase here.
286
00:10:28,513 --> 00:10:29,753
All right, you do it.
You do it.
287
00:10:29,777 --> 00:10:32,125
Okay, watch. I'm just
gonna do it like this.
288
00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:35,568
"Keep it down."
289
00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:37,081
Lift it! Come on!
290
00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:38,446
Come on!
291
00:10:57,160 --> 00:10:58,571
Wicca-wazzup?
292
00:10:58,640 --> 00:11:00,529
Hey! How's it going?
Hey!
293
00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:02,640
Are you our new neighbors?
We're your new neighbors!
294
00:11:02,664 --> 00:11:03,321
Yeah!
295
00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:04,686
All right!
296
00:11:04,760 --> 00:11:06,330
What's up?
297
00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:08,402
I'm Teddy. This is Pete.
298
00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:15,246
What's going on?
And who's this little lady?
299
00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:18,286
Oh, that's so sweet. No one
ever knows she's a girl.
300
00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:21,045
What? Of course she is, because
you're a little princess.
301
00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:22,360
So, you're the little princess.
302
00:11:22,384 --> 00:11:23,344
You're a little...
303
00:11:23,360 --> 00:11:25,567
Oh, she just scrunched
her little nose!
304
00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:27,369
So cute.
305
00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:29,240
What's her name?
306
00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:30,520
Stella.
Stella, yeah.
307
00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:32,762
That's the best name ever.
Are you kidding?
308
00:11:32,840 --> 00:11:34,569
She's a little flirt.
309
00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:36,130
Oh, like her mom, I bet.
310
00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:37,406
Mmm.
311
00:11:37,560 --> 00:11:38,560
Cool.
312
00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:40,250
Anyway, just wanted
to let you guys know
313
00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:43,642
that in this neighborhood,
we don't keep off the grass.
314
00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:45,210
What?
You know what I'm saying?
315
00:11:45,280 --> 00:11:46,280
No way!
316
00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:47,924
Legalize it, y'all.
317
00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:50,361
A joint. Thank you, guys.
318
00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:52,323
Also, if you could maybe,
just sometimes...
319
00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:53,965
Keep it down!
320
00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:55,641
All right.
321
00:11:56,240 --> 00:11:58,000
Well, I mean, if you
guys ever need anything,
322
00:11:58,024 --> 00:12:00,280
or we get too noisy, just
talk to me, or talk to Pete.
323
00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:01,760
We'll take care of it.
Same with us.
324
00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:03,800
I mean, we get pretty loud over there.
Yeah, yeah.
325
00:12:03,824 --> 00:12:05,130
Game of Thrones, we get loud.
326
00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:07,328
When Khaleesi comes on, I'm like...
327
00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:08,811
Yeah. It's crazy.
328
00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:13,561
All righty.
Well...
329
00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:14,641
Dope.
PETE". Com.
330
00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:15,801
All right.
331
00:12:15,920 --> 00:12:16,921
We're okay.
Cool.
332
00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:18,331
Later!
See you, guys.
333
00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:20,808
All right. All right.
Nice.
334
00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:23,371
Welcome to the neighborhood.
335
00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:24,845
Take it sleazy.
336
00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:26,526
Ems; Bye, Stella!
337
00:12:26,680 --> 00:12:27,886
Bye, Stella!
338
00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:33,003
And now,
as President of Delta Psi...
339
00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:34,923
And Vice President, we call...
340
00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:38,561
Our first official meeting
in the new house to order.
341
00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:40,483
Chivalry above self!
342
00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:42,927
Much like Scoonie's cock,
343
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:45,651
this year is
going to be legendary.
344
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:48,960
I don't know if
you guys are aware,
345
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:51,446
but Delta Psi is
simply responsible
346
00:12:51,560 --> 00:12:54,040
for the most epic
party moments in history.
347
00:12:55,840 --> 00:12:57,604
Gentlemen,
take a look at the wall.
348
00:12:58,720 --> 00:13:01,405
Travel back in time
with me to 1930.
349
00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:05,891
Delta Psi puts on a
production of Julius Caesar.
350
00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:10,567
A girl in the audience unexpectedly
hands one of our brothers a beer.
351
00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:15,010
And after that one fateful sip,
352
00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:16,730
the toga party is born!
353
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:18,291
Hold that gam steady, Pete.
354
00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:23,363
The year is 1971.
355
00:13:23,680 --> 00:13:26,251
The US plays Red China
in ping-pong.
356
00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:29,281
Meanwhile, back at
Delta Psi, our brothers
357
00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:31,801
play a little
ping-pong of their own.
358
00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:35,202
An errant ball lands
in a brother's beer,
359
00:13:36,040 --> 00:13:38,566
and he just drinks it.
360
00:13:43,880 --> 00:13:45,644
I give you beer pong!
361
00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:57,768
The year is 1985!
362
00:13:58,160 --> 00:14:00,083
Sebastian
Cremmington and his brothers
363
00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:01,366
are at the school pep rally.
364
00:14:01,520 --> 00:14:03,921
They've been drinking
since the butt-crack of dawn.
365
00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:07,607
Sebastian knows he has to throw up,
but he wants to keep partying.
366
00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:10,366
What does he do? Does he
puke, or does he drink?
367
00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:12,249
Why not do both?
368
00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:16,564
I give you the boot
and motherfucking rally!
369
00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:28,361
So many party inventions.
370
00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:30,807
So many party discoveries.
371
00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:34,131
How are we supposed to stand
on the shoulders of giants?
372
00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:35,240
Tell 'em, Teddy.
373
00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:36,611
I'll tell you how.
374
00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:39,567
Do you see that
empty space on the wall?
375
00:14:40,240 --> 00:14:42,288
Let's fill it with dreams.
376
00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:48,247
We are gonna end the year with the
most legendary rager of all time.
377
00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:52,603
I'm talking even bigger than
last year's White Trash Bash.
378
00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:54,649
No, no, no!
379
00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:57,088
Seems like an impossible feat.
380
00:14:57,240 --> 00:14:59,163
But when we do it,
381
00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:01,402
we will get our
faces on that wall,
382
00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:03,682
amidst the rest
of these legends!
383
00:15:05,880 --> 00:15:06,881
Yes!
384
00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:09,770
Pete, do you want to tell us about
your first summer as a Delta?
385
00:15:09,920 --> 00:15:11,251
My parents got divorced.
386
00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:13,323
And where did you go?
Right here.
387
00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:14,766
And what happened?
I cried.
388
00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:16,001
Why did you cry?
389
00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:17,281
Because I felt safe.
390
00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:20,809
Because I was surrounded
by my brothers.
391
00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:24,009
Brothers have a bond
that goes beyond friendship.
392
00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:28,290
We are the family you get to
choose, and we don't get divorced!
393
00:15:28,440 --> 00:15:29,646
No, we don't.
We don't.
394
00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:31,802
To believe in
the life of love...
395
00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:34,327
...to walk
in the way of honor,
396
00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:36,369
to serve in the light of truth.
397
00:15:36,440 --> 00:15:39,683
This is the life, the way,
the light of Delta Psi.
398
00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:42,207
This is the creed
of our fraternity.
399
00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:46,331
Can you take me higher?
400
00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:48,005
Delta Psi.
401
00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:49,804
Delta Psi.
402
00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:52,201
Delta Psi, Delta Psi!
403
00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:53,811
Delta Psi!
404
00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:56,281
Delta Psi! Delta Psi!
405
00:15:56,440 --> 00:15:58,010
Delta Psi!
Delta Psi! Delta Psi!
406
00:15:59,784 --> 00:16:01,627
Christ!
What the fuck?
407
00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:02,807
They're so loud.
408
00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:04,041
They're gonna wake Stella.
What do we...
409
00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:05,400
What do you think we should do?
410
00:16:05,424 --> 00:16:06,550
We should call the police.
411
00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:07,801
No, no, no, no, no.
412
00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:09,120
We can't do that.
413
00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:11,487
We should go over there,
okay? And talk to them.
414
00:16:11,560 --> 00:16:13,801
They'll listen to us if they
think we're cool, you know?
415
00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:15,803
Okay. Yeah. Yeah, okay.
416
00:16:15,880 --> 00:16:17,166
Okay-
417
00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:18,526
Grab the baby monitor.
418
00:16:19,560 --> 00:16:21,847
Hey, Mac, Kelly.
What's up?
419
00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:26,084
We hate to be these guys, but do
you mind just, like, kind of...
420
00:16:26,160 --> 00:16:27,207
Just keep it down.
421
00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:28,520
Just a little bit.
A little bit.
422
00:16:28,544 --> 00:16:29,367
The music?
423
00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:30,760
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, just a tiny bit.
424
00:16:30,784 --> 00:16:32,091
First off, my bad.
425
00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:33,844
Yo, guys! Music check!
426
00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:35,763
We have neighbors,
for Christ's sake!
427
00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:36,966
Come on.
Thank you.
428
00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:38,087
That's a big bong.
429
00:16:38,160 --> 00:16:39,241
Is that a two-story bong?
430
00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:40,920
I really appreciate
you guys coming by.
431
00:16:40,944 --> 00:16:41,806
Out of control.
432
00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:43,848
Awesome, man.
Well, thank you so much.
433
00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:45,001
That's all we wanted.
434
00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:46,605
Cool.
Great.
435
00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:48,765
See you guys around.
436
00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:51,002
Okay, thanks, man.
Dope. Cook
437
00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:52,320
Sweet.
Yeah.
438
00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:56,684
I think we should
invite the old people in.
439
00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:57,966
They're old and lame.
440
00:16:58,040 --> 00:16:59,320
I mean, yeah, I like their baby,
441
00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:00,720
but this is no place for a baby.
442
00:17:00,760 --> 00:17:02,125
Yeah, I know.
But they're our neighbors.
443
00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:04,720
They can make our lives a living hell.
We need them on our side.
444
00:17:04,744 --> 00:17:06,826
If we're cool with them now,
they'll be cool with us.
445
00:17:07,240 --> 00:17:08,321
Hey, slow down!
446
00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:09,521
Hey, there they are!
447
00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:10,601
Where you going?
448
00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:11,920
Do you guys want to come in?
449
00:17:11,944 --> 00:17:13,370
You don't want us
to come back in.
450
00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:15,120
I mean, no, we can't.
We couldn't possibly.
451
00:17:15,144 --> 00:17:15,601
No, no, no.
452
00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:16,721
Are you serious?
453
00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:18,245
I think you should.
Come on.
454
00:17:18,320 --> 00:17:20,640
No, we've got the baby, so...
We've got the baby. We can't.
455
00:17:20,664 --> 00:17:21,664
Come on.
Just real quick.
456
00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:23,290
You have the baby
monitor right there.
457
00:17:23,360 --> 00:17:24,407
We do, it's working.
458
00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:25,561
It works perfectly.
459
00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:27,130
You're, like,
10 feet away. Come on.
460
00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:28,201
Super quick tour.
461
00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:30,044
- Just the tour, maybe.
- Just the tour.
462
00:17:30,120 --> 00:17:32,282
- Just the tour. Cool.
- Oh, it's so exciting!
463
00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:34,648
Oh, yeah!
Magic mushrooms!
464
00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:36,406
Slow down.
465
00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:37,760
What the fuck is gonna happen?
466
00:17:37,880 --> 00:17:41,646
I've been doing mushrooms since
before the fucking Internet existed.
467
00:17:43,240 --> 00:17:44,890
That's a weird phone!
468
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:46,650
No, it's my baby monitor.
469
00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:48,085
You should look,
you can see her.
470
00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:49,241
Aw!
471
00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:51,728
Peekaboo!
472
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:55,171
He's done.
473
00:17:56,560 --> 00:17:58,244
- Peekaboo!
- Oh!
474
00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:02,280
Oh, no, no. The monitor
is not working.
475
00:18:02,304 --> 00:18:04,606
I gotta get back. Gotta
get back, gotta get back.
476
00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:06,045
I'm gonna throw up.
477
00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:07,491
Whoa...
478
00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:13,571
I can't...
479
00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:14,966
Right there.
Yeah, yeah!
480
00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:18,408
No, no, no!
481
00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:32,769
Do you guys want to see
something amazing?
482
00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:35,121
Yes, I want to see
something amazing.
483
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:37,123
Yeah.
What is it?
484
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:41,567
I know you're all wondering
why I brought you here.
485
00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:42,761
Behold.
486
00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:58,324
Wow!
Good job, man.
487
00:18:58,400 --> 00:18:59,731
Yeah, take a bow.
488
00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:05,288
Wait. Wait.
489
00:19:08,880 --> 00:19:10,320
Welcome to the lion's
den, my friend.
490
00:19:10,344 --> 00:19:11,161
Yes!
491
00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:14,005
This is my room.
Off limits during parties.
492
00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:15,840
This is where we keep
all the important shit.
493
00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:19,242
Alcohol, drugs, passports,
ping-pong paddles.
494
00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:21,160
Those things are always
fucking disappearing.
495
00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:23,160
Yeah, dude. My bros is
always stealing my paddies.
496
00:19:23,310 --> 00:19:24,311
Right? What the fuck?
497
00:19:24,470 --> 00:19:26,731
Holy shit!
That's a lot of fireworks.
498
00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:28,480
Can we light some of
those off right now?
499
00:19:28,504 --> 00:19:29,161
No.
500
00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:33,006
Man, literally, the last time we lit
those off, we burned the house down.
501
00:19:34,360 --> 00:19:36,727
It's not funny.
That was really bad.
502
00:19:37,840 --> 00:19:39,330
Check this out.
Watch the yard.
503
00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:40,761
Ready?
Yeah.
504
00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:45,966
That's awesome.
505
00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:47,605
Welcome to paradise.
506
00:19:47,760 --> 00:19:48,841
Hey, who's Batman to you?
507
00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:51,127
Like, when you think of
Batman, who's Batman?
508
00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:52,201
Are you kidding me?
509
00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:53,611
Christian Bale?
Christian Bale.
510
00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:55,444
Michael Keaton is Batman to me.
511
00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:57,720
"Where is she?"
512
00:19:58,040 --> 00:20:00,441
Michael Keaton's
Batman was like,
513
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,484
"Hey, I'm Batman."
514
00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:05,006
"No! Hey, I'm Batman!"
515
00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:08,402
"No, dude, no. I'm Batman. This
is what Batman sounds like."
516
00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:09,811
"I'm counting on it!"
517
00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:11,484
"No, I'm counting on it.
I'm Batman."
518
00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:13,648
We actually met
in college. Yeah.
519
00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:14,846
Aw!
520
00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:17,241
Yeah, I was here for
an exchange program.
521
00:20:17,360 --> 00:20:20,330
I was only supposed
to stay a semester,
522
00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:23,364
but then he convinced me
to hang around.
523
00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:24,440
Aw!
Yeah.
524
00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:26,403
What's cool is
we're almost roommates.
525
00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:27,640
Dude, we are almost roommates.
526
00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:29,250
Our rooms are, like, 10
feet away from each other.
527
00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:30,600
Dude, we can have
walkie-talkies,
528
00:20:30,624 --> 00:20:31,686
actually.
529
00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:33,125
It would just work all the time.
It would be awesome.
530
00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:35,680
Let's get walkie-talkies and
talk to each other all the time.
531
00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:37,484
Walkie-talkies and earpieces and shit.
Oh, my God.
532
00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:38,607
That would be so dope.
533
00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:39,721
It'd be so fun.
534
00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:41,888
So, how did you meet Teddy?
535
00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:44,042
I saw him.
He saw me.
536
00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:46,080
Yeah.
537
00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:48,323
It's a really romantic story.
538
00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:51,802
Hold on to this moment, man.
Seriously, enjoy this.
539
00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:54,491
Because soon, you fucking blink,
540
00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:57,126
and you're the oldest
guy at the party,
541
00:20:57,280 --> 00:20:59,442
and it's terrible.
542
00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:00,965
You don't seem old.
543
00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:03,841
You seem like a senior
that took a year abroad.
544
00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:09,363
Really?
Yeah, man.
545
00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:11,845
Bottom of my heart.
546
00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:14,365
You want to swordfight?
547
00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:16,571
Absolutely.
548
00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:21,571
Aw!
549
00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:27,122
Epic night!
550
00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:29,322
Crazy! I owe you, man.
551
00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:30,891
- I really needed that.
- Thank you so much.
552
00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:32,849
Yeah, again,
if you can just generally
553
00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:34,724
kind of, you know, keep it down.
554
00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:35,881
Just keep it down.
555
00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:37,246
Just keep it down.
Low.
556
00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:39,448
That would be... That would be fucking...
That would be trill.
557
00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:40,960
You really want us
to keep it down?
558
00:21:40,984 --> 00:21:41,984
Yeah, like, every night.
559
00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:43,605
Yeah, try to keep it down.
560
00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:45,603
I'll give it
the old college try.
561
00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:46,841
Nice! That was good.
Nice.
562
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:48,206
Cool, cool.
How is that?
563
00:21:48,360 --> 00:21:51,125
Just make sure if we're too
noisy, you call me first.
564
00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:52,520
Don't call the cops, okay?
565
00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:53,681
Okay. Yeah, for sure.
Yeah.
566
00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:55,046
Do you promise?
I promise.
567
00:21:55,120 --> 00:21:56,281
Do you promise?
568
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:57,561
I promise. We promise.
569
00:21:57,640 --> 00:22:00,564
You promise? Okay. Because a
promise is a big deal to me.
570
00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:02,051
Okay-
Okay-
571
00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:04,202
We promise.
Thank you so much, guys.
572
00:22:04,360 --> 00:22:07,125
I hope you guys come over and
try and hang with us some more.
573
00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:08,960
Yeah, dope, dope. Cool.
It was a good time.
574
00:22:09,029 --> 00:22:10,190
I'll go tell them to shh!
575
00:22:10,269 --> 00:22:11,081
Yeah.
576
00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:12,491
See you guys-
577
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:13,886
Great night!
578
00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:24,282
Hey, Teddy. It's Mac again.
Your neighbor.
579
00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:26,727
You said to call if
it was ever too loud.
580
00:22:26,880 --> 00:22:28,245
So, we're calling.
It's too loud.
581
00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:29,686
Can you please keep it down?
582
00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:33,128
It's 4:00 in the morning, our baby's awake.
She's freaking out.
583
00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:34,327
Thank you.
584
00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:35,521
Ten times.
585
00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:37,489
I've called him ten times.
What do we do?
586
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:39,364
If we actually go over there
and tell them to keep it down,
587
00:22:39,440 --> 00:22:40,440
we're gonna seem so lame.
588
00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:41,447
We're gonna have
to call the cops.
589
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:42,560
We call the cops? Yes.
590
00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:44,443
He told us not to call the cops.
591
00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:45,681
Do it anonymously.
592
00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:47,040
They do our dirty work for us.
593
00:22:47,080 --> 00:22:50,289
We're cool, they shut up,
she goes to sleep. Done.
594
00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:51,726
We have no blood on our hands.
595
00:22:51,880 --> 00:22:54,087
We're innocents.
We're innocents in all this.
596
00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:55,680
It's a good idea.
It's a good system.
597
00:22:55,704 --> 00:22:57,464
Let's do it. Okay, I'm doing it.
Let's do it.
598
00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:01,086
Here we go. Here we go.
599
00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:03,004
Here they are.
600
00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:04,969
Okay-
601
00:23:05,120 --> 00:23:07,851
I feel so lame. I can't
believe we called the cops.
602
00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:11,806
They can't tell it's us.
603
00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:13,609
They don't know it was us.
Could've been anyone.
604
00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:14,881
Could have been anyone. Any one of
these people could have called.
605
00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:16,371
We're not gonna
get caught for this.
606
00:23:16,440 --> 00:23:19,444
Anyone would do this.
This isn't because we're old.
607
00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:23,488
Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
Oh!
608
00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:24,925
Oh, shit!
Oh, no!
609
00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:26,240
Oh, no! Oh, fuck!
610
00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:27,401
Oh, no.
611
00:23:27,480 --> 00:23:29,084
He sold us out.
612
00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:31,447
Fuck, they're coming up the driveway.
Oh, shit, they're coming.
613
00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:33,522
Oh, shit. They're right there.
614
00:23:33,640 --> 00:23:35,600
- Just go, you answer it.
- You answer it.
615
00:23:35,624 --> 00:23:37,049
You answer!
You are gonna answer.
616
00:23:37,120 --> 00:23:39,122
You do it.
You do it. You do it.
617
00:23:39,320 --> 00:23:41,721
We're just getting dressed!
I'm naked!
618
00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:43,529
No, I see you guys right there.
One moment.
619
00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:45,045
Act like you just woke up.
620
00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:49,006
Hey-
621
00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:51,326
Hello, are you Mac?
622
00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:53,683
Yeah. What's happening?
623
00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:55,450
You called about your neighbors?
624
00:23:56,080 --> 00:23:57,320
No.
625
00:23:57,880 --> 00:23:58,927
No.
626
00:23:59,120 --> 00:24:02,124
I have a call, it's from Mac Radner.
That's you. Right?
627
00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:04,282
Yeah. How do you
have that information?
628
00:24:04,360 --> 00:24:06,681
We have caller ID.
We're cops.
629
00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:09,642
Everybody has caller ID.
You're Mac Radner.
630
00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:10,841
Okay, yes.
631
00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:12,888
You called us.
Why did you call us?
632
00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:16,203
I called the cops because
you were being noisy, man.
633
00:24:16,360 --> 00:24:17,964
And I tried to get you to
stop, and you wouldn't stop.
634
00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:19,121
They won't stop partying!
635
00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:20,280
Officer, you know how it is.
636
00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:21,321
We're just trying
to get to sleep.
637
00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:22,880
We have a little baby.
We have a baby.
638
00:24:22,904 --> 00:24:24,713
Mac's working in the morning.
We got jobs.
639
00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:26,524
They were at the party
with us just last night.
640
00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:28,569
Did you party with this kid?
We don't party with them!
641
00:24:28,720 --> 00:24:30,688
We shouldn't be in trouble. We
haven't done anything wrong.
642
00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:31,920
We have a baby.
We're parents.
643
00:24:31,944 --> 00:24:33,548
Well then,
what do you call these?
644
00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:37,249
I'm too fucked up!
Ahhh! Ahhh!
645
00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:39,409
Well, it looks like you
guys were partying with him.
646
00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:40,721
You party pretty heavy.
647
00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:43,127
That's a joke photo!
648
00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:44,326
It's a joke?
That's a joke!
649
00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:45,606
It's not a good joke.
650
00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:47,080
Okay, you know what?
Let's end this.
651
00:24:47,104 --> 00:24:48,968
I'm sorry.
I rescind the complaint.
652
00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:51,088
You can go.
No noise complaint.
653
00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:52,844
You know the boy who cried wolf?
654
00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:54,326
You're that boy.
655
00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:56,482
Okay, I cried wolf.
Never call us again.
656
00:24:56,560 --> 00:24:58,608
Never call you again?
You're the fucking police.
657
00:25:00,360 --> 00:25:01,521
Look, man, we're sorry.
658
00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:02,681
You were being noisy.
659
00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:04,250
We tried to call you.
I don't know what to say.
660
00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:06,160
We called you five times,
you didn't answer us.
661
00:25:06,184 --> 00:25:07,684
You made a promise
to me last night.
662
00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:10,081
We were pissing.
We crossed streams.
663
00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:11,685
Don't worry about it, you know?
664
00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:14,127
"Hey, I'm Batman."
You know? Right?
665
00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:15,520
No, we're done with that, bro.
666
00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:17,640
We're still cool, man. We're still cool.
We're sorry.
667
00:25:17,664 --> 00:25:19,124
I'm not mad.
668
00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:21,123
I'm just disappointed.
669
00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:23,248
Hey, come on.
Wait, let's just...
670
00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:27,801
What's that?
671
00:25:28,640 --> 00:25:29,641
Those are for you.
672
00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:31,246
What the fuck?
673
00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:32,920
Oh.
674
00:25:35,720 --> 00:25:37,560
You shouldn't have
called the cops, bro!
675
00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:38,926
Okay-
676
00:25:39,760 --> 00:25:41,649
Okay, very good.
677
00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:42,721
Very good.
678
00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:44,484
Okay.
Congratulations.
679
00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:46,160
You better put that
in the recycling bin.
680
00:25:46,184 --> 00:25:47,185
All Of it.
All Of it.
681
00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:51,760
It's like Edward Scissorhands.
Do you like it?
682
00:25:51,784 --> 00:25:53,130
It's a really expensive bush!
683
00:25:53,320 --> 00:25:55,561
I'm sorry, I felt inspiration.
What was I supposed to do?
684
00:25:55,720 --> 00:25:57,643
I'm about to rip this
shit out of the ground.
685
00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:00,765
Fuck this bush!
Fuck that bush, man!
686
00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:02,410
Fuck this bush!
Fuck that bush!
687
00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:04,688
Harder, man. Yeah,
really get in there.
688
00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:06,171
Oh! Oh!
God damn it! Kelly!
689
00:26:06,560 --> 00:26:08,005
Whoa. Hey, man,
buy him dinner first.
690
00:26:08,120 --> 00:26:09,121
Fuck this bush!
691
00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:12,727
Oh!
Shit!
692
00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:14,365
Okay. Ha-ha.
693
00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:16,363
Sorry, man. Sorry my ball
just got in your face.
694
00:26:21,320 --> 00:26:23,163
I love you.
Baby.
695
00:26:24,880 --> 00:26:26,006
Oh, God.
696
00:26:26,160 --> 00:26:27,605
I can't believe
this is happening.
697
00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:30,011
It's finally happening.
698
00:26:32,560 --> 00:26:34,289
What the fuck?
Oh, my God!
699
00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:36,090
Oh, no! Oh, no!
700
00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:38,120
We can't be the only people
in the neighborhood
701
00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:39,281
who are sick of
this bullshit, you know.
702
00:26:39,360 --> 00:26:40,800
We've gotta get
everyone on our side.
703
00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:42,126
We could lead a revolution.
704
00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:43,201
Oh, no.
705
00:26:44,760 --> 00:26:47,280
They're buying off the whole
neighborhood with their slave army.
706
00:26:47,320 --> 00:26:50,483
Oh! Mrs. Haywood,
you're better than that.
707
00:26:54,720 --> 00:26:56,290
I can't sell your house.
708
00:26:56,480 --> 00:26:57,527
Why?
Well,
709
00:26:57,640 --> 00:26:59,722
because the only
people who would want
710
00:26:59,840 --> 00:27:01,842
to live next to a frat
house is a frat house.
711
00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:03,889
Oh, the university
might be interested.
712
00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:06,804
I know the Spanish department
is looking for a new building.
713
00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:08,564
Only thing, if you
sell to the university,
714
00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:11,086
I'd say, optimistically,
you're looking
715
00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:13,726
at losing about
half your investment.
716
00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:15,326
Half of all of our...
717
00:27:15,400 --> 00:27:16,845
We put all of our money in.
This is all of our money.
718
00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:18,001
We can't lose half.
719
00:27:18,080 --> 00:27:20,481
But you keep half.
720
00:27:20,560 --> 00:27:22,164
We don't need that!
What is that?
721
00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:23,401
Sold!
722
00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:25,164
And you keep making
money no matter what!
723
00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:26,890
Real estate is a fickle bitch.
724
00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:29,247
Okay, maybe it's
best you just go.
725
00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:30,651
Thank you for coming.
Okay.
726
00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:31,801
That was not helpful.
727
00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:33,206
Well, okay.
728
00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:35,325
What are you wearing?
What is this?
729
00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:36,970
What are you doing?
Yeah.
730
00:27:37,120 --> 00:27:38,770
We're throwing
a Robert De Niro party.
731
00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:41,328
Should be pretty fucking loud.
732
00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:43,847
It's probably gonna go
pretty fucking late, too.
733
00:27:44,120 --> 00:27:46,361
I'm Taxi Driver De Niro.
734
00:27:46,560 --> 00:27:48,244
Yeah, I'm Meet the Fockers
De Niro.
735
00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:50,641
I'm watching you.
I'm watching you.
736
00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:53,644
Who painted that mole on your face?
Did you do that yourself?
737
00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:55,848
Yes, I did.
Yes, I did, Focker.
738
00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:57,001
Who are you?
739
00:27:57,360 --> 00:28:00,364
Oh, I'm Sam Jackson, you know,
from Jackie Brown.
740
00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:02,086
Hoo-ah!
741
00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:03,406
Hoo-ah!
742
00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:05,360
That's Al Pacino.
That's not even... Yeah.
743
00:28:05,384 --> 00:28:06,247
Scent of a Woman.
744
00:28:06,360 --> 00:28:07,600
Hoo-ah!
745
00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:09,720
There's no consistency here.
746
00:28:09,880 --> 00:28:11,720
You're all over the place
with your references.
747
00:28:11,876 --> 00:28:12,956
You're upsetting Jinxy cat.
748
00:28:13,036 --> 00:28:15,246
Just stop doing this
stupid shit! We're sorry.
749
00:28:15,400 --> 00:28:18,240
Hey, when you called the cops, you
violated the circle of trust, Focker.
750
00:28:18,264 --> 00:28:20,266
We're sorry we
called the cops, okay?
751
00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:22,401
Are you talking to me?
752
00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:23,607
- Yes.
- Yes.
753
00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:24,761
Are you talking to me?
754
00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:25,887
Yes!
Yes!
755
00:28:25,960 --> 00:28:27,041
No, you talking to me.
756
00:28:27,120 --> 00:28:28,406
Are you talking to me?
Are you talking to me?
757
00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:29,720
I don't see anyone else here.
758
00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:31,240
I don't see anyone
else here, either!
759
00:28:31,354 --> 00:28:32,480
We're trying to talk to you.
760
00:28:32,554 --> 00:28:35,608
"The path of the righteous man
is beset on all sides..."
761
00:28:35,680 --> 00:28:38,650
What the fuck are you doing? That's
the wrong Sam Jackson speech!
762
00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:40,640
Are you talking to me,
or are you talking to him?
763
00:28:41,837 --> 00:28:43,683
Just get off!
Are you talking to me?
764
00:28:43,760 --> 00:28:44,841
Shut the fuck up!
765
00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:46,080
You get the fuck out of here.
766
00:28:46,104 --> 00:28:47,105
Stop it!
767
00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:50,481
Hey. What's nice
is in a few years,
768
00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:52,887
we'll have a third
person to help us do this.
769
00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:54,081
Hey-
770
00:28:54,600 --> 00:28:56,329
What do you got there, sweetie?
771
00:28:57,240 --> 00:28:58,526
Is that a balloon?
772
00:28:59,080 --> 00:29:00,491
Did you find a balloon?
773
00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:03,569
Oh, shit! That's
not a balloon!
774
00:29:03,920 --> 00:29:05,046
Oh, Jesus!
775
00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:06,730
Oh, God! Oh, no!
776
00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:08,211
Help! Help!
777
00:29:08,360 --> 00:29:10,408
Get the fuck...
Get out of my way! Move!
778
00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:12,409
Doctor! Doctor!
Oh, God!
779
00:29:15,160 --> 00:29:16,685
All right.
Hey.
780
00:29:19,760 --> 00:29:21,364
Your baby
781
00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:24,290
has HIV.
782
00:29:24,400 --> 00:29:25,526
Oh, my God.
783
00:29:25,680 --> 00:29:27,603
Is how bad this could have gone.
784
00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:29,686
The condom was unused.
785
00:29:29,800 --> 00:29:31,320
Are you fucking
kidding me?
786
00:29:31,344 --> 00:29:34,268
Who the fuck says that
to a couple of parents?
787
00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:36,687
Hey! Ma'am!
788
00:29:36,840 --> 00:29:37,921
Chill out, chill out!
789
00:29:38,080 --> 00:29:39,366
They are dangerous
to the neighborhood!
790
00:29:39,520 --> 00:29:40,920
There's a clear
focus going on here.
791
00:29:40,989 --> 00:29:42,629
I heard they burned
down their last house.
792
00:29:42,653 --> 00:29:44,203
And they were
reprimanded for that.
793
00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:47,489
We have a very strict three-strike
policy at this school.
794
00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:50,490
So, they have one strike. If they
get two more, then they're out.
795
00:29:50,680 --> 00:29:51,761
A strike?
796
00:29:51,840 --> 00:29:53,763
Well, listen,
the way I do my job is,
797
00:29:53,840 --> 00:29:56,286
you know, I'm always thinking
about the headlines, right?
798
00:29:56,360 --> 00:30:01,161
So, "Duke Lacrosse Team Rapes
Stripper." Bad headline.
799
00:30:01,240 --> 00:30:02,969
"Fraternity Keeps Couple Awake"?
800
00:30:03,120 --> 00:30:05,168
That's not really
even a headline.
801
00:30:05,360 --> 00:30:07,641
I don't even think it would
make the local police blotter.
802
00:30:07,793 --> 00:30:09,636
Get ready to read
the headline of the century.
803
00:30:09,793 --> 00:30:12,564
Extra, extra!
"Baby Swallows Condom!"
804
00:30:12,720 --> 00:30:14,370
That's disgusting!
Exactly!
805
00:30:14,560 --> 00:30:16,480
It's the frat's condom!
That's the frat's condom!
806
00:30:16,504 --> 00:30:17,645
I have a headline for this.
807
00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:20,007
"Fraternity
Practices Safe Sex."
808
00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:22,600
That's a good headline. I could
get a raise off that headline.
809
00:30:22,624 --> 00:30:23,971
I got a headline for you.
810
00:30:24,120 --> 00:30:29,331
"Mean Dean Doesn't Realize That
Frat ls Bad For Everyone."
811
00:30:29,480 --> 00:30:30,527
It's really not.
812
00:30:30,720 --> 00:30:33,041
It's very poorly worded. I don't think
that would ever make it to print.
813
00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:34,600
I don't know where
you went to school.
814
00:30:34,624 --> 00:30:36,807
I went here, okay?
That's why I'm dumb!
815
00:30:36,960 --> 00:30:39,042
You know what? I just thought
of another headline.
816
00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:42,403
"Negligent Parents
Allow Baby to Swallow Condom."
817
00:30:43,240 --> 00:30:45,004
What'd you say?
It's not a good headline.
818
00:30:45,720 --> 00:30:47,961
Here's a headline. How
about, "Go Fuck Yourself"?
819
00:30:48,120 --> 00:30:49,121
That's what you get.
820
00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:50,520
This is our home!
It's our home!
821
00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:53,848
This is our little cub on our
lawn with a condom in her mouth.
822
00:30:53,920 --> 00:30:55,763
Oh, my God.
I'm a mama bear.
823
00:30:55,920 --> 00:30:57,000
Yes, you are.
You know what?
824
00:30:57,120 --> 00:30:58,963
I'm gonna act all
docile and then...
825
00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:02,602
My claws are out!
I'm gonna fucking get them!
826
00:31:03,120 --> 00:31:04,531
Fuck these fucking guys!
827
00:31:04,680 --> 00:31:06,320
They don't know who
they are fucking with.
828
00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:08,124
They think I'm
just a regular dad
829
00:31:08,280 --> 00:31:10,009
and then you know what happens?
830
00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:11,366
Boom! Boom!
831
00:31:11,440 --> 00:31:13,647
Teddy's dead!
Pete's dead! Scoonie's dead!
832
00:31:14,040 --> 00:31:15,121
Fuck you!
No, no.
833
00:31:15,280 --> 00:31:16,645
I'll fucking kill them!
No, no.
834
00:31:16,800 --> 00:31:18,290
Boom!
No.
835
00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:20,080
I'm buying a fucking gun!
No, you're not!
836
00:31:20,104 --> 00:31:22,242
I'm not buying a gun!
You're right, it's a bad idea.
837
00:31:22,440 --> 00:31:23,441
Bad call.
838
00:31:23,520 --> 00:31:24,601
What about one of those
small prostitute guns?
839
00:31:24,680 --> 00:31:26,125
No. You're not buying a gun.
840
00:31:26,520 --> 00:31:27,646
Fuck!
841
00:31:27,760 --> 00:31:29,080
What can we do?
That fucking Dean.
842
00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:31,202
What woman is named "Dean"?
843
00:31:31,560 --> 00:31:33,164
She's not named “Dean
Thaw her 'yob.
844
00:31:33,480 --> 00:31:35,244
What?
That's what "dean" is here.
845
00:31:35,480 --> 00:31:36,561
No.
Yeah.
846
00:31:36,640 --> 00:31:38,085
Really?
What did you think?
847
00:31:38,160 --> 00:31:39,491
I thought that was her name.
No.
848
00:31:39,560 --> 00:31:40,641
Oh, no.
849
00:31:40,760 --> 00:31:42,649
What do they call it in Australia?
"Chancellor."
850
00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:44,325
No, she's the chancellor.
851
00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:46,643
Oh, my God.
I was so rude to her.
852
00:31:46,840 --> 00:31:48,649
I don't know what to do.
What do we know?
853
00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:50,080
What didn't we have in college?
854
00:31:50,160 --> 00:31:51,685
I didn't have any money.
855
00:31:51,840 --> 00:31:52,921
I had no money either.
We had no money.
856
00:31:53,080 --> 00:31:54,161
They're broke.
They don't have any money.
857
00:31:54,320 --> 00:31:56,440
We fuck with their house.
They can't afford to fix it.
858
00:31:56,464 --> 00:31:57,464
Yes.
They have to move.
859
00:31:57,640 --> 00:31:58,846
Yeah, fuck them!
Fuck them!
860
00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:00,600
We're gonna fucking fuck them!
Fuck them!
861
00:32:00,624 --> 00:32:02,547
We are going to fuck them!
Fuck them!
862
00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:24,684
So the water came out of here?
Yep.
863
00:32:24,960 --> 00:32:26,371
This is gonna ruin us.
864
00:32:26,520 --> 00:32:29,285
I mean, the foundation is flooded.
We can't pay for this shit.
865
00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:30,964
They're gonna condemn the house.
866
00:32:31,040 --> 00:32:32,451
Okay, well, on that note,
867
00:32:32,520 --> 00:32:34,045
maybe we should clean up and not
868
00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:35,685
stand here with our
dicks in our hands.
869
00:32:37,280 --> 00:32:38,964
"Dicks in our hands."
870
00:32:41,320 --> 00:32:44,449
Dicks in our hands.
871
00:32:46,800 --> 00:32:48,529
Dicks in our hands.
872
00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:53,049
Dicks in our hands.
873
00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:56,362
Dicks in our hands.
874
00:32:56,800 --> 00:32:58,086
Teddy, how much time we got?
875
00:32:58,240 --> 00:33:01,403
Just a couple minutes, and
then we pour in the latex.
876
00:33:01,560 --> 00:33:03,642
We've got Delta Psi dildos
we can merchandise.
877
00:33:04,200 --> 00:33:06,282
Oh, God, I can't keep
my boner much longer.
878
00:33:07,160 --> 00:33:08,360
We're supposed to have boners?
879
00:33:08,384 --> 00:33:10,068
Yeah.
Nobody wants a limp dildo.
880
00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:14,007
You don't know that. People
could want it for after.
881
00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:17,562
Like, for cuddling,
and it's like a love...
882
00:33:17,760 --> 00:33:19,410
Okay, you're right.
It's just a limp dick.
883
00:33:19,600 --> 00:33:22,251
Hey, you boys
have to go digital.
884
00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:23,925
Look at that
3-D printer go.
885
00:33:24,040 --> 00:33:25,041
Look at it go!
886
00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:26,286
That's awesome.
887
00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:27,920
Penis completed.
888
00:33:27,944 --> 00:33:30,366
Now I can go to class
while my dick prints.
889
00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:31,441
Where did you get that?
890
00:33:31,560 --> 00:33:33,085
Got it at my architecture lab.
Pretty cool, right?
891
00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:34,605
Wow. Man, you should
go to class sometime.
892
00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:36,967
We have excellent facilities
that, like, no one uses.
893
00:33:37,040 --> 00:33:39,042
All right, let's pull these bad
boys off and see what we've got.
894
00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:40,207
We're good?
Yeah.
895
00:33:40,280 --> 00:33:41,361
Let's do it.
896
00:33:41,480 --> 00:33:43,448
This is like Christmas.
Oh!
897
00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:44,601
Wow.
Whoa.
898
00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:48,649
Hey, you know, I think the
clay is stuck to my pubes.
899
00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:50,085
Why do you have pubes?
900
00:33:51,080 --> 00:33:52,889
Wait. You guys shaved?
901
00:33:52,960 --> 00:33:54,644
Dude, I texted you.
I said, "Shave."
902
00:33:54,760 --> 00:33:57,280
I thought we were taking pictures.
I cleaned up a little, but...
903
00:33:57,304 --> 00:33:58,351
Not your face.
904
00:33:59,560 --> 00:34:00,641
Oh, God.
905
00:34:00,800 --> 00:34:01,881
Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
906
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:03,280
Don't worry about it.
I'm gonna enjoy this.
907
00:34:03,440 --> 00:34:04,521
It's not gonna come off.
908
00:34:04,600 --> 00:34:05,886
I'm just gonna leave it on.
909
00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:08,406
I'm gonna drill a hole, I'm gonna pee.
I can get bigger pants.
910
00:34:08,560 --> 00:34:10,244
Look at me.
You trust me, right?
911
00:34:10,440 --> 00:34:11,407
I'm gonna pull this thing off.
912
00:34:11,480 --> 00:34:12,680
Come on, just relax.
I got you.
913
00:34:12,704 --> 00:34:13,971
Stay the fuck away from me!
914
00:34:14,040 --> 00:34:15,724
Calm down. Count of three.
915
00:34:15,800 --> 00:34:17,325
Teddy“.
One.
916
00:34:17,440 --> 00:34:18,440
Look at my eyes.
917
00:34:18,480 --> 00:34:19,811
Two!
918
00:34:26,560 --> 00:34:29,291
That was so much
worse than I thought.
919
00:34:29,640 --> 00:34:32,405
Ladies,
I need a single-file line.
920
00:34:32,560 --> 00:34:34,040
There will be no
cutting in this line,
921
00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:36,759
and if you're in the back, it is
approximately a 20-minute wait.
922
00:34:36,783 --> 00:34:37,561
Hey.
Hi.
923
00:34:37,640 --> 00:34:39,722
Um... I'll take a Teddy.
Cool. How about a Pete?
924
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:41,206
Oh, no.
925
00:34:41,320 --> 00:34:42,526
I was just kidding, anyway.
926
00:34:42,640 --> 00:34:43,641
So weird.
927
00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:46,651
Holy shit, guys.
I think we made $10,000.
928
00:34:47,120 --> 00:34:48,920
Hey, you guys, if my
calculations are correct,
929
00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:50,764
not only can we
fix the water damage,
930
00:34:50,920 --> 00:34:54,083
but we can get the biggest
hot tub in the world!
931
00:34:54,680 --> 00:34:56,569
And outdoor speakers!
932
00:34:56,800 --> 00:34:58,689
Yes!
Yeah!
933
00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:00,650
Delta Psi!
934
00:35:00,800 --> 00:35:02,006
Delta Psi.
935
00:35:02,440 --> 00:35:06,286
Delta Psi!
Delta Psi! Delta Psi!
936
00:35:06,520 --> 00:35:07,851
Dildo Psi!
937
00:35:08,040 --> 00:35:10,611
Dildo Psi! Dildo Psi!
938
00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:17,121
This is fucking ridiculous.
939
00:35:17,240 --> 00:35:18,287
This is ridiculous.
940
00:35:18,440 --> 00:35:21,364
Their dicks bought a hot tub?
My dick couldn't buy a hot tub.
941
00:35:21,520 --> 00:35:22,726
Hey-
942
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:26,043
Your dick could buy more than a hot tub.
Your dick bought me.
943
00:35:26,560 --> 00:35:28,005
Thank you very much.
944
00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:29,650
I'm not a sizeist.
945
00:35:29,800 --> 00:35:31,564
That's a little patronizing.
946
00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:40,970
I don't get it. Who would
even buy one of those dildos?
947
00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:46,166
Bros before hos.
948
00:35:46,320 --> 00:35:49,244
Why? Because your bros
are always there for you.
949
00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:53,041
They have got your back after
your ho rips your heart out.
950
00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:54,406
"Bros before hos."
951
00:35:54,560 --> 00:35:56,881
And you were nothing
but great to your ho.
952
00:35:57,320 --> 00:35:59,687
And you told her that she
was the only ho for you,
953
00:35:59,880 --> 00:36:03,043
and that she was better than all
the other hos in the world.
954
00:36:04,560 --> 00:36:06,562
Bros before hos.
955
00:36:07,240 --> 00:36:09,680
Fraternities. They live and die
on the concept of brotherhood.
956
00:36:09,704 --> 00:36:10,241
I know.
957
00:36:10,320 --> 00:36:12,288
The only way to break it
apart is to get in there,
958
00:36:12,360 --> 00:36:15,921
infiltrate a party, and get
them to put hos before bros.
959
00:36:16,080 --> 00:36:18,320
Hos don't go before bros. It
just doesn't work like that.
960
00:36:18,440 --> 00:36:19,805
A ho has never
gone before a bro.
961
00:36:19,920 --> 00:36:21,922
Maybe I have been a ho
who's taken down some bros.
962
00:36:22,200 --> 00:36:23,850
Ho, no, you haven't.
I'm just saying.
963
00:36:23,920 --> 00:36:26,002
You have?
That is messed up.
964
00:36:26,120 --> 00:36:27,451
I'm saying, that's the only way.
965
00:36:27,520 --> 00:36:29,360
We've got to get in there,
we gotta infiltrate.
966
00:36:29,384 --> 00:36:31,965
Get those little motherfuckers,
turn them against each other.
967
00:36:32,040 --> 00:36:33,166
Okay.
I'm serious.
968
00:36:33,240 --> 00:36:34,446
Just ease up.
969
00:36:34,520 --> 00:36:35,681
Sorry.
970
00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:37,880
She's on the fast road to her
first word being "cunt."
971
00:36:37,904 --> 00:36:39,450
It's not cool here.
Sorry.
972
00:36:39,680 --> 00:36:41,330
We're gonna make them
put hos before bros.
973
00:36:41,400 --> 00:36:43,971
Step one,
lock down a babysitter.
974
00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:46,090
Get this one taken care of.
975
00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:47,361
Yeah?
Right?
976
00:36:47,440 --> 00:36:48,441
Yeah?
Right?
977
00:36:48,560 --> 00:36:50,403
Yeah.
We're gonna get these guys.
978
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:52,161
Yo.
I've been waiting forever.
979
00:36:52,280 --> 00:36:53,441
Yeah, glad you made it.
Whoa, whoa!
980
00:36:53,480 --> 00:36:55,562
What is she doing here? Wait.
What is he doing here?
981
00:36:55,640 --> 00:36:57,080
Look, we're friends
with both of you.
982
00:36:57,189 --> 00:36:58,789
Fucking just learn
to deal with it, okay?
983
00:36:58,813 --> 00:37:00,050
This is an abomination.
984
00:37:00,120 --> 00:37:02,885
You... Right now, both of you
have to make a choice right now.
985
00:37:02,960 --> 00:37:04,883
Me or her, choose.
It's up to you. You choose.
986
00:37:05,240 --> 00:37:07,129
Shut the fuck up.
987
00:37:07,280 --> 00:37:08,725
We're on a mission.
988
00:37:09,240 --> 00:37:10,765
Yes, ma'am.
I was just kidding.
989
00:37:11,920 --> 00:37:13,081
Yo.
990
00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:14,400
You here to ask us to
turn the music down?
991
00:37:14,520 --> 00:37:15,806
Because that's not gonna happen.
992
00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:17,684
No, we're here to
tell you to turn it up.
993
00:37:18,480 --> 00:37:21,006
Shit, homie, we've been
beefing for too long.
994
00:37:21,160 --> 00:37:22,685
We just want to
squash this like a bug.
995
00:37:23,480 --> 00:37:26,245
That's all my weed, and it's
really hard for me to get weed.
996
00:37:26,400 --> 00:37:27,481
Oh, shit.
997
00:37:28,680 --> 00:37:31,001
Okay, you guys can come in.
998
00:37:31,160 --> 00:37:32,685
No 'shrooms for you, mister.
999
00:37:32,840 --> 00:37:33,880
Don't worry about it, man.
1000
00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:35,126
All right.
1001
00:38:00,160 --> 00:38:02,686
Okay, Teddy's fucking Brooke,
but Brooke wants to fuck Pete.
1002
00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:05,451
But she's afraid because Pete
and Teddy are best friends.
1003
00:38:05,640 --> 00:38:07,961
We've gotta get Brooke
to hook up with Pete publicly.
1004
00:38:08,120 --> 00:38:09,560
Then Teddy is
gonna want to kill Pete
1005
00:38:09,640 --> 00:38:11,005
and the whole frat will implode.
1006
00:38:11,720 --> 00:38:14,291
Paula, flirt with Scoonie. Keep
him talking and distracted.
1007
00:38:14,440 --> 00:38:15,487
Okey-dokey.
1008
00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:17,485
Jimmy, isolate Whitney.
1009
00:38:17,560 --> 00:38:18,641
Okey-dokey.
1010
00:38:18,720 --> 00:38:20,006
What do I do? Do I
get to do something?
1011
00:38:20,160 --> 00:38:21,730
You're on Teddy patrol.
Keep him close.
1012
00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:23,080
He's gotta see them hooking up.
1013
00:38:23,104 --> 00:38:24,384
Otherwise, this plan won't work.
1014
00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:25,880
And remember,
once they start kissing,
1015
00:38:25,904 --> 00:38:28,849
we've only got a few minutes before
they go upstairs and start fucking.
1016
00:38:29,000 --> 00:38:30,684
Okay, let's do it.
Okay?
1017
00:38:30,760 --> 00:38:31,807
Let's go.
Go team.
1018
00:38:35,880 --> 00:38:37,484
What? What?
1019
00:38:37,560 --> 00:38:39,085
Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
1020
00:38:39,160 --> 00:38:40,491
Cutting through.
1021
00:38:40,640 --> 00:38:42,563
What it is, y'all.
1022
00:38:42,720 --> 00:38:44,245
What's up?
1023
00:38:44,720 --> 00:38:46,085
What's this, a dance-off?
1024
00:38:46,240 --> 00:38:48,402
I don't know, bitch.
Is it a dance-off?
1025
00:38:48,560 --> 00:38:50,483
You tell me.
I think it's a dance-off.
1026
00:38:50,560 --> 00:38:51,600
Oh, shit!
1027
00:38:51,640 --> 00:38:53,927
Dance-off!
1028
00:38:58,240 --> 00:39:00,925
Jesus Christ,
not another dance-off.
1029
00:39:01,080 --> 00:39:02,570
He likes them.
1030
00:39:02,720 --> 00:39:04,210
How about some shots, guys?
1031
00:39:04,400 --> 00:39:05,731
Okay, yeah!
1032
00:39:05,840 --> 00:39:07,171
Sure!
1033
00:39:41,240 --> 00:39:43,129
Cheers.
Here we go.
1034
00:39:43,480 --> 00:39:44,766
Cheers. Here we go.
1035
00:39:47,800 --> 00:39:49,404
Another one!
Another one!
1036
00:39:51,720 --> 00:39:52,881
One more, one more, one more.
1037
00:39:53,280 --> 00:39:54,691
I can't.
No.
1038
00:39:55,280 --> 00:39:56,770
I don't want to.
1039
00:39:56,920 --> 00:39:58,251
Oh, shit.
1040
00:39:58,400 --> 00:39:59,765
I think I'm drunk.
1041
00:39:59,920 --> 00:40:02,082
You guys are so cute together.
1042
00:40:02,160 --> 00:40:03,241
No!
No!
1043
00:40:03,320 --> 00:40:04,765
No. She's my...
1044
00:40:04,880 --> 00:40:06,160
I'm with Teddy.
She's with Teddy.
1045
00:40:06,233 --> 00:40:07,678
So you guys have
never hooked up?
1046
00:40:07,753 --> 00:40:08,806
No!
1047
00:40:08,920 --> 00:40:10,126
You're blushing.
1048
00:40:10,200 --> 00:40:11,850
No, I'm not.
You are.
1049
00:40:12,680 --> 00:40:14,091
You guys have gotta relax.
1050
00:40:24,680 --> 00:40:25,886
Shit!
1051
00:40:30,080 --> 00:40:32,367
You're so cute.
You're like a little possum.
1052
00:40:32,520 --> 00:40:34,329
Look at you.
I'm a possum.
1053
00:40:34,480 --> 00:40:35,720
I'm a possum.
1054
00:40:46,440 --> 00:40:47,680
No...
1055
00:40:47,880 --> 00:40:50,531
No! No, no, no, okay? No!
1056
00:40:51,880 --> 00:40:54,121
Just a little taste,
a little taste.
1057
00:41:09,360 --> 00:41:11,203
That was sexy. Can I make
out with someone now?
1058
00:41:11,320 --> 00:41:13,800
What are you doing? We have 60
seconds before they go upstairs.
1059
00:41:13,824 --> 00:41:14,926
Get in the dance circle.
1060
00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:16,809
Okay, okay.
I'm winning, by the way.
1061
00:42:17,440 --> 00:42:19,010
- Hey, man.
- Oh, shit!
1062
00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:20,684
I think Teddy saw you.
1063
00:42:21,440 --> 00:42:22,441
What? No.
1064
00:42:22,600 --> 00:42:24,807
No, no, no. Shit. Shit.
1065
00:42:28,520 --> 00:42:29,521
Hey, what's up, man?
1066
00:42:29,640 --> 00:42:30,641
Hey, man.
1067
00:42:30,720 --> 00:42:31,926
What's up?
1068
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:34,401
What's up? You good?
1069
00:42:34,480 --> 00:42:35,880
Yeah, I'm good, man.
How's it going?
1070
00:42:35,920 --> 00:42:37,843
Everything's good.
Fucking great party.
1071
00:42:37,920 --> 00:42:39,240
Great party, right?
Awesome party.
1072
00:42:39,264 --> 00:42:40,264
Yeah?
1073
00:42:40,320 --> 00:42:41,606
Yeah, man.
Yeah.
1074
00:42:45,320 --> 00:42:47,561
And we got a fight over here!
1075
00:42:49,680 --> 00:42:51,560
- Fuck, are you okay, man?
- Dude, I'm so...
1076
00:42:56,960 --> 00:42:58,121
Oh!
1077
00:42:58,600 --> 00:43:00,560
Is that how people fight now?
What are they doing?
1078
00:43:00,920 --> 00:43:01,967
Let go, let go.
1079
00:43:02,880 --> 00:43:03,927
I'll never let go.
1080
00:43:04,040 --> 00:43:06,327
I'll hold onto
your balls forever.
1081
00:43:12,400 --> 00:43:14,209
What are you thinking about?
1082
00:43:14,400 --> 00:43:15,731
Why are you so calm?
1083
00:43:17,760 --> 00:43:19,888
What the fuck? Ew!
1084
00:43:20,040 --> 00:43:21,326
So gross!
1085
00:43:21,480 --> 00:43:23,289
I never wanted to
have to use that on you!
1086
00:43:23,360 --> 00:43:24,361
What the fuck, man?
1087
00:43:24,480 --> 00:43:26,130
It's a blessing and a curse!
1088
00:43:26,200 --> 00:43:28,646
Get the fuck out of here!
You're so gross!
1089
00:43:30,200 --> 00:43:31,645
God damn it.
1090
00:43:33,240 --> 00:43:34,446
Throw shit off the porch!
1091
00:43:34,720 --> 00:43:37,803
Throw shit off the porch.
Throw shit off the porch.
1092
00:43:37,880 --> 00:43:40,565
Let's throw shit
off the porch! Whoo!
1093
00:43:46,040 --> 00:43:48,122
Yes!
Come on, Delta Psi!
1094
00:43:48,440 --> 00:43:50,090
Whoa!
1095
00:43:58,480 --> 00:43:59,720
Holy fuck.
1096
00:44:01,600 --> 00:44:06,322
Somebody call 911!
1097
00:44:08,560 --> 00:44:09,846
He's still alive.
1098
00:44:10,040 --> 00:44:11,485
He's still alive!
1099
00:44:11,640 --> 00:44:12,926
He's still alive.
1100
00:44:13,080 --> 00:44:14,445
Oh, shit.
1101
00:44:14,640 --> 00:44:15,846
We didn't kill anyone.
We didn't kill anyone.
1102
00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:17,081
Hey, guys!
1103
00:44:17,240 --> 00:44:18,844
What do you think
of my new necklace?
1104
00:44:19,040 --> 00:44:20,405
It's a choker.
1105
00:44:24,840 --> 00:44:26,200
I fucking did it!
I totally did it.
1106
00:44:26,224 --> 00:44:27,584
We couldn't have
planned it better.
1107
00:44:27,880 --> 00:44:29,723
That was incredible!
1108
00:44:30,480 --> 00:44:31,766
We're celebrating.
1109
00:44:32,280 --> 00:44:33,441
Fuck it.
I'll pump and dump.
1110
00:44:51,720 --> 00:44:52,767
We fucking did it.
1111
00:44:53,760 --> 00:44:54,966
Baby.
Yeah.
1112
00:44:55,040 --> 00:44:57,646
Baby, let's be spontaneous. Let's
go fuck on the kitchen floor.
1113
00:44:57,720 --> 00:44:58,846
Yes!
Come on.
1114
00:44:58,920 --> 00:45:00,968
Let's do that shit. Whoo!
Let's do it!
1115
00:45:01,440 --> 00:45:03,124
Let's do something we've never done.
Okay.
1116
00:45:03,200 --> 00:45:05,089
I don't know.
Hit me with something.
1117
00:45:05,160 --> 00:45:06,730
Okay.
Smack me.
1118
00:45:06,800 --> 00:45:08,131
Let's be crazy.
1119
00:45:08,200 --> 00:45:09,486
Okay.
Ow! Fuck!
1120
00:45:09,600 --> 00:45:11,807
Fuck! Hey! Shit, stop! Stop! I
don't like it, I don't like it!
1121
00:45:11,880 --> 00:45:13,325
I like it.
I don't like it, stop!
1122
00:45:13,400 --> 00:45:14,920
This is turning me on.
I don't like it.
1123
00:45:14,944 --> 00:45:16,046
I like it.
Don't do that!
1124
00:45:16,120 --> 00:45:17,120
Sorry.
It hurts.
1125
00:45:17,160 --> 00:45:18,161
Okay-
Okay-
1126
00:45:18,280 --> 00:45:19,611
Let's do something crazy.
1127
00:45:19,680 --> 00:45:21,330
Why don't I stick
something up your ass?
1128
00:45:22,640 --> 00:45:24,449
No, not tonight. Not tonight.
1129
00:45:24,600 --> 00:45:25,601
Can I stick
something up your ass?
1130
00:45:25,720 --> 00:45:26,721
No, I'm not that drunk.
1131
00:45:26,800 --> 00:45:27,847
Oh, I'm gonna come soon.
1132
00:45:28,000 --> 00:45:29,365
Okay, I'm not even close.
1133
00:45:29,520 --> 00:45:30,806
I'm gonna come.
Come, baby.
1134
00:45:30,960 --> 00:45:33,008
I'm coming.
Are you close?
1135
00:45:33,160 --> 00:45:34,685
Come on.
1136
00:45:34,800 --> 00:45:36,450
And... I'm too drunk to come.
1137
00:45:36,680 --> 00:45:38,170
I'm not gonna come.
1138
00:45:38,480 --> 00:45:40,289
It's gone mushy.
Thank you, sire.
1139
00:45:40,640 --> 00:45:44,247
I will take the
gentleman's route out and call it a day,
1140
00:45:44,320 --> 00:45:48,484
for no ejaculation will be occurring
due to over-intoxication.
1141
00:45:48,560 --> 00:45:49,686
Thank you.
1142
00:45:51,360 --> 00:45:53,727
That's how adults do it.
1143
00:45:54,160 --> 00:45:55,161
I love you, baby.
1144
00:45:55,280 --> 00:45:56,805
Baby, I love you.
1145
00:45:56,920 --> 00:45:58,046
We're a great team.
1146
00:45:58,160 --> 00:45:59,366
Baby, we're a hot team.
1147
00:46:01,080 --> 00:46:02,923
My boobs really hurt.
1148
00:46:03,760 --> 00:46:05,683
I think I should probably pump.
1149
00:46:05,800 --> 00:46:07,723
My boobs are
feeling really full.
1150
00:46:07,880 --> 00:46:09,928
I like 'em like that.
1151
00:46:10,120 --> 00:46:12,600
I like 'em full, baby.
1152
00:46:19,080 --> 00:46:21,048
We did it.
We did it.
1153
00:46:21,200 --> 00:46:22,611
That's a beautiful thing.
1154
00:46:22,800 --> 00:46:24,529
Bros before hos, motherfucker.
1155
00:46:24,680 --> 00:46:26,364
That dude forgot
the golden rule.
1156
00:46:26,520 --> 00:46:28,363
I feel like shit.
1157
00:46:28,520 --> 00:46:29,521
But I love it.
1158
00:46:32,200 --> 00:46:33,201
Oh, my boobs.
1159
00:46:33,360 --> 00:46:34,361
Oh, God.
1160
00:46:34,760 --> 00:46:36,649
I gotta feed Stella.
Okay.
1161
00:46:36,880 --> 00:46:39,724
Is she awake?
I'm more milk than woman.
1162
00:46:40,920 --> 00:46:42,206
I gotta get this out of me.
1163
00:46:42,400 --> 00:46:43,890
Get it out of you.
1164
00:46:45,280 --> 00:46:48,250
Wait. Wait, wait, wait!
1165
00:46:48,400 --> 00:46:50,289
Wait. Wait, no! Wait!
1166
00:46:50,440 --> 00:46:53,250
Wait. Wait. Wait.
1167
00:46:53,560 --> 00:46:55,050
Whoa. Wait. Wait.
1168
00:46:55,120 --> 00:46:57,043
No, no, no!
What? What?
1169
00:46:57,120 --> 00:46:58,645
Don't slap my boob.
1170
00:46:58,720 --> 00:47:01,087
There's booze in your boobs.
There's booze in your boobs.
1171
00:47:01,800 --> 00:47:03,370
It's poison.
It's alcohol.
1172
00:47:03,440 --> 00:47:05,124
There's alcohol in there.
1173
00:47:06,080 --> 00:47:08,731
It's like a White Russian.
Lay down, sweetie.
1174
00:47:08,800 --> 00:47:11,087
Oh, it fucking hurts!
I need this milk out of me.
1175
00:47:11,240 --> 00:47:13,368
Okay, we'll get that milk out.
Get the pump. Ow!
1176
00:47:14,600 --> 00:47:15,886
Okay, I got it.
1177
00:47:16,200 --> 00:47:17,929
Fuck me!
Fucking idiot!
1178
00:47:18,200 --> 00:47:19,440
What are you doing?
I'm sorry.
1179
00:47:19,640 --> 00:47:21,961
Fuck. Oh, no.
Okay, relax.
1180
00:47:22,120 --> 00:47:23,246
I'm sorry. What the fuck?
1181
00:47:23,440 --> 00:47:25,249
It broke.
I totally broke it.
1182
00:47:25,600 --> 00:47:27,480
I don't even know what the
fuck to do with this.
1183
00:47:27,800 --> 00:47:28,801
Oh, no.
1184
00:47:28,960 --> 00:47:30,086
Oh, shit!
1185
00:47:30,920 --> 00:47:32,922
Oh, they're Hulking out!
They're gonna blow.
1186
00:47:33,000 --> 00:47:34,525
What is happening to me?
1187
00:47:34,760 --> 00:47:38,128
Oh, gross! They look
like my grandma's legs.
1188
00:47:39,040 --> 00:47:41,611
Okay, let me call my mom. She'll
tell us what to do right now.
1189
00:47:41,760 --> 00:47:43,125
Do not call your mother!
1190
00:47:43,280 --> 00:47:45,681
Jesus! You Jews and
your fucking mothers!
1191
00:47:45,800 --> 00:47:46,961
What do I do?
1192
00:47:47,040 --> 00:47:48,041
Milk me.
What?
1193
00:47:48,200 --> 00:47:49,360
You're gonna have to milk me.
1194
00:47:49,440 --> 00:47:51,408
I don't want to milk you.
Well, you're gonna have to.
1195
00:47:51,480 --> 00:47:53,209
I don't fucking want to!
What do you mean "milk you"?
1196
00:47:53,280 --> 00:47:54,281
You don't have a choice!
1197
00:47:54,440 --> 00:47:55,441
Be a man and milk me.
1198
00:47:55,680 --> 00:47:57,887
Milk yourself!
Try milking yourself!
1199
00:47:57,960 --> 00:47:58,961
I can't...
1200
00:47:59,040 --> 00:48:00,280
Ow!
1201
00:48:00,720 --> 00:48:02,165
Oh! I'm sorry. Okay.
1202
00:48:02,240 --> 00:48:04,641
Get on your hands and knees.
We need a pail or something.
1203
00:48:04,760 --> 00:48:06,649
What? You gotta get on
your hands and knees.
1204
00:48:06,720 --> 00:48:08,802
I'm not a cow!
Well, how else do you do it?
1205
00:48:09,040 --> 00:48:10,087
Just, normal.
1206
00:48:10,160 --> 00:48:12,128
There's no normal way
to milk a human woman.
1207
00:48:12,320 --> 00:48:13,481
Okay, okay!
Come on!
1208
00:48:15,480 --> 00:48:16,561
Ow!
1209
00:48:16,640 --> 00:48:18,240
I can't do it.
Don't yell, just try to...
1210
00:48:18,264 --> 00:48:19,550
Come on! Ow!
I'm sorry.
1211
00:48:20,240 --> 00:48:21,446
It's not working.
1212
00:48:23,080 --> 00:48:24,081
Oh, fuck!
1213
00:48:24,560 --> 00:48:26,130
Oh, fuck.
Oh, God.
1214
00:48:26,200 --> 00:48:27,725
Yeah!
1215
00:48:28,000 --> 00:48:29,081
Boo-ya!
1216
00:48:29,280 --> 00:48:30,566
Okay-
1217
00:48:30,640 --> 00:48:31,846
Whoo!
1218
00:48:33,080 --> 00:48:34,286
We are not high-fiving.
1219
00:48:34,440 --> 00:48:35,771
Oh, God.
1220
00:48:35,920 --> 00:48:37,126
It tastes funny.
1221
00:48:37,280 --> 00:48:39,600
They say it tastes good to the baby.
It tastes funny to me.
1222
00:48:39,624 --> 00:48:41,513
Just relax. Just settle down.
Okay.
1223
00:48:42,720 --> 00:48:44,848
I got, like,
four pails out of you.
1224
00:48:45,560 --> 00:48:47,005
We should go mom tipping later.
1225
00:48:47,120 --> 00:48:48,724
Hey, too soon.
1226
00:48:48,880 --> 00:48:50,211
Okay, too soon.
Way too soon.
1227
00:48:50,520 --> 00:48:53,444
Yeah, I agree. I'm just trying
to lighten the moo-ood.
1228
00:48:54,680 --> 00:48:56,762
Moo-cod.
1229
00:48:56,920 --> 00:48:58,365
Stop it.
I know.
1230
00:48:58,640 --> 00:49:00,640
I'm gonna move back to
Australia if you don't stop.
1231
00:49:01,040 --> 00:49:03,122
Now I can't stop
thinking of them.
1232
00:49:03,200 --> 00:49:04,281
Okay.
Mac...
1233
00:49:04,720 --> 00:49:06,449
That was udder-ly traumatic.
1234
00:49:06,880 --> 00:49:07,961
Please stop.
1235
00:49:08,160 --> 00:49:11,050
How much of you is
traumatized? 2%? 1%?
1236
00:49:11,640 --> 00:49:12,926
That was a cheesy one.
1237
00:49:13,080 --> 00:49:14,320
That was good.
You like that?
1238
00:49:14,400 --> 00:49:16,084
You did it. See?
1239
00:49:16,160 --> 00:49:17,366
Yeah?
1240
00:49:17,520 --> 00:49:19,010
But you know what?
You hear that?
1241
00:49:19,360 --> 00:49:20,486
It's victory.
1242
00:49:20,720 --> 00:49:22,120
We can finally go
back to our lives.
1243
00:49:22,144 --> 00:49:23,384
It's over.
1244
00:49:24,120 --> 00:49:25,963
What the heck are you guys doing here?
Where's Pete?
1245
00:49:26,040 --> 00:49:27,760
I don't know. At some
job fair or some shit.
1246
00:49:27,784 --> 00:49:29,384
What the heck's more
important than this?
1247
00:49:29,408 --> 00:49:31,124
Hey, I just wanna
let you guys know
1248
00:49:31,200 --> 00:49:33,521
that I ate a whole pot brownie
before coming in here
1249
00:49:33,600 --> 00:49:35,967
and I am really starting to
feel it right now. Yeah.
1250
00:49:36,040 --> 00:49:37,405
Why would you do that?
1251
00:49:37,640 --> 00:49:40,246
Guys, don't talk.
Please let me handle this.
1252
00:49:40,400 --> 00:49:41,447
Okay-
1253
00:49:43,400 --> 00:49:47,086
"Fraternity Severely Injures
Economics Professor."
1254
00:49:47,920 --> 00:49:49,081
What is this?
1255
00:49:49,160 --> 00:49:50,241
It's a headline.
1256
00:49:50,440 --> 00:49:52,204
Is it a good one, or a bad one?
1257
00:49:52,480 --> 00:49:53,561
It's a bad one.
1258
00:49:53,640 --> 00:49:55,130
Yeah, it's a really bad one.
1259
00:49:55,280 --> 00:49:56,805
It's a bad one.
1260
00:49:56,880 --> 00:49:59,281
I promise you, as
the President of Delta Psi,
1261
00:49:59,400 --> 00:50:01,846
that we will find
a way to right this wrong.
1262
00:50:03,760 --> 00:50:05,000
Very sorry about this.
1263
00:50:06,480 --> 00:50:07,970
You know what? That's it.
1264
00:50:08,040 --> 00:50:09,087
That's two strikes.
1265
00:50:09,160 --> 00:50:10,960
You're on probation
until the end of the year.
1266
00:50:11,080 --> 00:50:13,287
Okay? You so much
as throw a party,
1267
00:50:13,360 --> 00:50:17,285
generate a noise complaint, or
end up on any sort of headline,
1268
00:50:17,360 --> 00:50:18,691
and you are out.
1269
00:50:18,920 --> 00:50:20,200
Please don't put us
on probation.
1270
00:50:20,320 --> 00:50:22,004
What about the
end-of-the-year bash, Teddy?
1271
00:50:22,120 --> 00:50:24,480
I mean, we have to get on the
wall, plus we bought the kegs.
1272
00:50:24,504 --> 00:50:26,369
What, is she gonna reimburse
us for those kegs?
1273
00:50:26,440 --> 00:50:28,240
Are you gonna reimburse
us for those kegs? No.
1274
00:50:28,264 --> 00:50:29,834
Scoonie. Not now.
1275
00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:32,001
Get out!
1276
00:50:33,600 --> 00:50:34,681
I'm so sorry.
1277
00:50:34,800 --> 00:50:35,961
Mmm-hmm.
1278
00:50:36,040 --> 00:50:39,044
I just want to let you know, I ate a
pot brownie before coming in here.
1279
00:50:39,120 --> 00:50:42,203
I'm the opposite of the
person you say that to.
1280
00:50:42,280 --> 00:50:45,284
That could have been
two strikes, right there.
1281
00:50:48,960 --> 00:50:50,291
Oh, there he is.
1282
00:50:50,920 --> 00:50:52,160
Holy shit.
1283
00:50:52,240 --> 00:50:54,004
I'm just kidding. Sort of.
1284
00:50:54,200 --> 00:50:55,406
What's up, man?
1285
00:50:55,560 --> 00:50:57,080
Thanks for missing
our meeting, Mr. VP.
1286
00:50:57,104 --> 00:50:59,232
I had this job interview, so...
1287
00:50:59,680 --> 00:51:02,047
No, no, clearly you had
more important things to do.
1288
00:51:02,160 --> 00:51:03,286
Yeah.
1289
00:51:03,360 --> 00:51:04,850
So, how'd the meeting go?
1290
00:51:04,920 --> 00:51:06,200
Oh, it went great.
It went great.
1291
00:51:06,224 --> 00:51:07,889
We're on probation.
We can't party.
1292
00:51:08,000 --> 00:51:09,923
Shit. That's a bummer.
Mmm-hmm.
1293
00:51:13,160 --> 00:51:18,007
So, are we cool with
what happened last night?
1294
00:51:18,080 --> 00:51:20,321
Bros before hos. Right?
1295
00:51:20,400 --> 00:51:21,447
Yeah.
Right?
1296
00:51:22,040 --> 00:51:23,371
Yeah, man.
1297
00:51:23,480 --> 00:51:24,891
Junk before trunk.
1298
00:51:26,200 --> 00:51:27,645
All right, balls before dolls.
1299
00:51:27,720 --> 00:51:30,451
Compadres before
I sleep with tu madres.
1300
00:51:30,520 --> 00:51:32,329
Brad Pitt before grab clit.
1301
00:51:32,440 --> 00:51:34,010
Deez nuts before skinny sluts.
1302
00:51:34,080 --> 00:51:35,809
Masturbate before
I ask her to date.
1303
00:51:35,880 --> 00:51:38,451
Beef stew before
watching The View.
1304
00:51:38,520 --> 00:51:40,966
Male erection
before One Direction.
1305
00:51:41,280 --> 00:51:44,489
Mario and Luigi
before Thelma & Louise-ee.
1306
00:51:44,560 --> 00:51:47,291
Bert and Ernie
before squirtin' spermy.
1307
00:51:47,360 --> 00:51:51,445
Man purses
before regular purses.
1308
00:51:51,520 --> 00:51:52,567
Makes sense.
Yeah.
1309
00:51:52,640 --> 00:51:53,640
Okay.
It does.
1310
00:51:53,680 --> 00:51:56,923
Sports before genital warts...
No, fuckin'. That's bad.
1311
00:51:57,000 --> 00:51:58,968
That was a little weird.
I'm fading a little bit.
1312
00:51:59,040 --> 00:52:00,485
John Madden before...
1313
00:52:01,200 --> 00:52:03,771
Jasmine from Aladdin!
Jasmine from Aladdin!
1314
00:52:03,880 --> 00:52:04,880
Yes!
1315
00:52:04,920 --> 00:52:06,649
We just said it
at the same time!
1316
00:52:07,320 --> 00:52:08,720
All right, man,
I should probably...
1317
00:52:08,794 --> 00:52:09,875
But, I'll see you
back at the house, yeah?
1318
00:52:09,954 --> 00:52:10,807
See you, brother.
1319
00:52:10,880 --> 00:52:12,160
All right. Good talk, man.
Later.
1320
00:52:13,880 --> 00:52:15,609
Hey! You Delta Psi?
1321
00:52:15,760 --> 00:52:17,205
Yeah. Are you a Delta?
1322
00:52:17,400 --> 00:52:20,370
No, my roommate was. I used to
wear his ties to get girls.
1323
00:52:21,400 --> 00:52:22,925
You interested in
working for AT&T?
1324
00:52:23,640 --> 00:52:25,165
What do you guys do?
1325
00:52:26,360 --> 00:52:29,569
We're a giant
telecommunications corporation.
1326
00:52:30,040 --> 00:52:31,246
Cell phones.
Oh.
1327
00:52:31,720 --> 00:52:32,846
What's your GPA?
1328
00:52:33,200 --> 00:52:34,406
Like, low twos.
1329
00:52:35,080 --> 00:52:37,162
I'm just kidding. High ones.
1330
00:52:39,040 --> 00:52:40,769
We're actually
looking for candidates
1331
00:52:40,880 --> 00:52:42,640
that are a little more
academically inclined.
1332
00:52:42,720 --> 00:52:45,087
So, you have a nice day.
1333
00:52:45,240 --> 00:52:46,241
What does that mean?
1334
00:52:46,840 --> 00:52:48,410
It means you're too dumb.
1335
00:52:50,520 --> 00:52:51,521
Good luck, bro.
1336
00:52:51,680 --> 00:52:52,727
Okay-
1337
00:52:54,920 --> 00:52:57,526
I hope we can "build"
a great future together.
1338
00:52:57,600 --> 00:52:58,601
Architecture joke.
1339
00:52:59,760 --> 00:53:00,761
I know!
1340
00:53:01,920 --> 00:53:03,604
I like to have fun with it.
1341
00:53:03,760 --> 00:53:05,000
Lame.
1342
00:53:10,120 --> 00:53:11,929
Big Mac!
Yo!
1343
00:53:12,080 --> 00:53:13,730
There he is.
Hey!
1344
00:53:13,880 --> 00:53:15,166
Hey.
Hello.
1345
00:53:15,320 --> 00:53:17,721
You know, I was just thinking,
1346
00:53:17,960 --> 00:53:20,611
it would be great
to have you and Kelly
1347
00:53:20,720 --> 00:53:23,405
and your little princess
over for a play date.
1348
00:53:23,560 --> 00:53:25,483
We'll put it on the books.
Okay, cool. Great.
1349
00:53:25,560 --> 00:53:27,480
Sometime soon. I'll just...
I'll get back to you.
1350
00:53:27,504 --> 00:53:28,505
Yeah.
Great.
1351
00:53:29,760 --> 00:53:34,288
"And the dog goes,
'Woof, woof, woof, woof!
1352
00:53:34,520 --> 00:53:37,922
"'Woof, woof, woof!"'
1353
00:53:38,560 --> 00:53:40,483
- Oh, hi, baby.
- How's it going?
1354
00:53:40,960 --> 00:53:43,327
Oh, good.
Yeah, I'm good, I'm fine.
1355
00:53:43,480 --> 00:53:44,481
I'm fine.
1356
00:53:44,600 --> 00:53:46,329
I'm a bit bored,
but I'm fine. I'm fine.
1357
00:53:46,480 --> 00:53:47,686
Yeah, I'm bored, too.
1358
00:53:47,840 --> 00:53:49,524
My boss just invited us
for a play date,
1359
00:53:49,640 --> 00:53:51,165
so we can both
just kill each other.
1360
00:53:52,480 --> 00:53:54,801
I kind of miss the rush
of messing with the frat.
1361
00:53:55,000 --> 00:53:56,525
I have to go. She's awake.
1362
00:53:56,680 --> 00:53:58,489
Okay, call me after.
Call me soon.
1363
00:54:05,800 --> 00:54:07,165
Hey, neighbor.
1364
00:54:07,960 --> 00:54:09,200
Ooh!
1365
00:54:13,320 --> 00:54:14,367
Okay. Are you ready?
1366
00:54:14,520 --> 00:54:16,090
Me and Kelly,
we have found a way
1367
00:54:16,200 --> 00:54:17,850
to give the frat
their last strike.
1368
00:54:18,000 --> 00:54:19,570
Get them out of here forever!
Out!
1369
00:54:19,720 --> 00:54:22,166
Why are we doing this? Didn't
we already win? Remember?
1370
00:54:22,240 --> 00:54:24,527
"Bros before hos," that whole thing?
It's over!
1371
00:54:24,600 --> 00:54:26,920
They're still fucking there!
There's beer cans on the lawn.
1372
00:54:26,944 --> 00:54:27,721
They're barbecuing.
1373
00:54:27,800 --> 00:54:28,926
So?
"so?"
1374
00:54:29,000 --> 00:54:30,206
it smells delicious in here.
1375
00:54:30,360 --> 00:54:31,930
Try living next to it.
Try living next to it!
1376
00:54:32,000 --> 00:54:33,680
Hey, you guys don't
want to go back to your
1377
00:54:33,790 --> 00:54:35,630
boring ass lives as parents.
That's what it is.
1378
00:54:35,654 --> 00:54:37,243
I'm surprised and
shocked, honestly,
1379
00:54:37,320 --> 00:54:38,924
that it is so hard
to convince you,
1380
00:54:39,040 --> 00:54:40,610
of all people,
that this is a good idea.
1381
00:54:40,680 --> 00:54:41,727
What?
1382
00:54:41,880 --> 00:54:45,771
One of those childs is
having sex with your wife.
1383
00:54:46,040 --> 00:54:48,008
It's fine. We're divorced.
1384
00:54:48,200 --> 00:54:49,964
Jimmy! Wake up!
Wake up, man.
1385
00:54:50,040 --> 00:54:51,121
His dick is this big!
1386
00:54:51,200 --> 00:54:53,481
"Hey, homie. I'm gonna fuck
your wife with my giant dick."
1387
00:54:53,505 --> 00:54:54,725
"Oh, my God,
this is amazing."
1388
00:54:54,880 --> 00:54:56,245
"Oh, my God, homie.
It feels so good."
1389
00:54:56,320 --> 00:54:57,526
"Oh, homie."
"Wow. Oh, my God."
1390
00:54:57,600 --> 00:54:59,170
"it feels so good, homie."
"What are you doing later?"
1391
00:54:59,240 --> 00:55:00,287
"Oh, homie, let's do it.
Oh, God, homie."
1392
00:55:00,400 --> 00:55:01,447
"That's amazing."
1393
00:55:01,520 --> 00:55:03,727
Okay, enough! Stop imitating!
1394
00:55:03,800 --> 00:55:05,768
I get it!
He's got a huge dick!
1395
00:55:05,960 --> 00:55:07,320
And her vagina, "Bye!"
It's ruined!
1396
00:55:07,344 --> 00:55:08,201
Destroyed. Gone!
1397
00:55:08,280 --> 00:55:10,160
It's like when you lend
a fat friend your shirt,
1398
00:55:10,184 --> 00:55:12,551
and it comes back, and it's
all stretchy and flappy!
1399
00:55:12,800 --> 00:55:15,565
Sagging all over the place!
It'll be like this.
1400
00:55:16,840 --> 00:55:18,046
- I'm in!
- Yes!
1401
00:55:18,200 --> 00:55:21,170
Nice! Nice! Great!
Awesome, awesome!
1402
00:55:21,240 --> 00:55:22,571
What's the plan?
Okay, okay.
1403
00:55:22,680 --> 00:55:24,125
We've been thinking.
What gets frats
1404
00:55:24,240 --> 00:55:25,840
kicked out of schools
more than anything?
1405
00:55:26,240 --> 00:55:27,366
Rape!
1406
00:55:29,440 --> 00:55:31,647
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
1407
00:55:31,800 --> 00:55:33,131
Hazing scandals.
Hazing scandals!
1408
00:55:33,200 --> 00:55:34,200
Yes!
Hazing scandals!
1409
00:55:34,240 --> 00:55:35,241
Hazing scandals!
Yes!
1410
00:55:35,320 --> 00:55:37,160
You should've said it
before you let me answer.
1411
00:55:37,200 --> 00:55:39,328
We need all that equipment
you bought to spy on Paula.
1412
00:55:39,640 --> 00:55:42,211
I didn't...
What?
1413
00:55:43,280 --> 00:55:44,406
Just stop.
1414
00:55:44,600 --> 00:55:46,280
Look, you just take
these spy glasses.
1415
00:55:46,440 --> 00:55:48,090
They look totally
like normal glasses.
1416
00:55:48,280 --> 00:55:49,645
You wear them
into the frat house.
1417
00:55:49,720 --> 00:55:51,200
Teddy's gonna start
pushing you around
1418
00:55:51,280 --> 00:55:52,920
and fucking with you,
like he always does.
1419
00:55:52,989 --> 00:55:54,593
Like I've seen him
do a million times.
1420
00:55:54,669 --> 00:55:56,841
At that moment,
you just push back.
1421
00:55:56,920 --> 00:55:58,809
Okay? Just push back.
1422
00:55:58,880 --> 00:56:00,484
The rest will
take care of itself.
1423
00:56:00,560 --> 00:56:02,085
He'll haze
the fucking shit out of you.
1424
00:56:02,200 --> 00:56:03,690
It'll all get
caught on this camera.
1425
00:56:03,960 --> 00:56:06,042
Delta Psi is gone,
you're a free man.
1426
00:56:06,880 --> 00:56:07,960
Those guys are my brothers.
1427
00:56:08,000 --> 00:56:09,047
Your brothers?
1428
00:56:09,120 --> 00:56:11,088
Do you think your brothers would
really treat you like that?
1429
00:56:11,160 --> 00:56:12,600
Think about what
they've done to you.
1430
00:56:12,624 --> 00:56:13,646
They dehumanized you.
1431
00:56:13,800 --> 00:56:15,643
They treated you like shit.
They degraded you.
1432
00:56:15,800 --> 00:56:17,760
You're an animal.
They called you Assjuice.
1433
00:56:17,784 --> 00:56:18,441
Assjuice.
1434
00:56:18,600 --> 00:56:20,011
- Assjuice.
- Assjuice.
1435
00:56:20,080 --> 00:56:21,764
- Subhuman.
- Assjuice.
1436
00:56:21,840 --> 00:56:23,604
Assjuice. Assjuice.
1437
00:56:23,760 --> 00:56:25,728
Assjuice. Assjuice.
1438
00:56:25,960 --> 00:56:29,123
Assjuice! Assjuice!
Assjuice! Assjuice!
1439
00:56:29,360 --> 00:56:31,408
You better eat this
fucking dog food, now!
1440
00:56:33,920 --> 00:56:35,001
What's the lesson?
1441
00:56:35,200 --> 00:56:38,249
Don't go to sleep!
1442
00:56:38,600 --> 00:56:40,364
This is your destiny, Assjuice.
1443
00:56:41,400 --> 00:56:42,401
Assjuice!
1444
00:56:42,520 --> 00:56:44,761
Assjuice! Assjuice! Assjuice!
1445
00:56:44,960 --> 00:56:46,530
Assjuice! Assjuice!
1446
00:56:46,640 --> 00:56:47,640
I don't know.
1447
00:56:47,680 --> 00:56:48,800
Everyone breaks, bro.
1448
00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:50,126
Biology-
1449
00:56:50,280 --> 00:56:51,611
That's from Zero Dark Thirty.
1450
00:56:53,600 --> 00:56:55,170
You guys don't get it.
1451
00:56:55,680 --> 00:56:57,444
I've gone through hell.
1452
00:56:57,680 --> 00:56:59,444
I'm not gonna throw
that all away now.
1453
00:56:59,840 --> 00:57:02,127
You know how many BJs
I've been promised?
1454
00:57:02,640 --> 00:57:03,880
Infinite BJs.
1455
00:57:04,320 --> 00:57:06,368
Infinite. Infinite.
1456
00:57:06,720 --> 00:57:08,210
Infinite BJs.
1457
00:57:09,120 --> 00:57:12,010
Delta Psi forever, ya bish.
1458
00:57:16,360 --> 00:57:18,522
We'll give you $1,000.
1459
00:57:18,760 --> 00:57:20,285
Okay. I'm in.
1460
00:57:20,520 --> 00:57:21,726
Nice!
1461
00:57:22,040 --> 00:57:24,560
That was good.
That was really good.
1462
00:57:24,584 --> 00:57:26,074
That was good.
That was sexy, too.
1463
00:57:26,480 --> 00:57:27,925
He looks like J.J. Abrams.
1464
00:57:28,320 --> 00:57:30,846
You look good. It looks okay.
I think it's okay.
1465
00:57:31,000 --> 00:57:32,240
You're never gonna forget this!
1466
00:57:32,264 --> 00:57:35,044
Move, elephants!
Move! Keep marching.
1467
00:57:35,160 --> 00:57:36,844
March!
1468
00:57:36,960 --> 00:57:38,689
March, march, march, elephants.
1469
00:57:38,880 --> 00:57:40,086
I'm not doing this anymore.
1470
00:57:40,200 --> 00:57:41,280
Get back in line, Assjuice!
1471
00:57:41,304 --> 00:57:42,305
Get back in line!
1472
00:57:42,520 --> 00:57:44,409
Fuck you.
I am not an elephant!
1473
00:57:44,600 --> 00:57:45,720
What did you just say to me?
1474
00:57:45,760 --> 00:57:47,046
I am not an elephant!
1475
00:57:47,320 --> 00:57:48,560
He's doing it.
He's doing it.
1476
00:57:48,720 --> 00:57:51,405
I'm a human man!
I have dignity!
1477
00:57:51,560 --> 00:57:53,403
We all have dignity!
Yes, Assjuice, yes!
1478
00:57:53,560 --> 00:57:57,281
Our names are not Fuckhead,
or Jizzface, or Lea Michele.
1479
00:57:57,480 --> 00:57:58,720
Lea Michele from Glee?
That's actually funny.
1480
00:57:58,840 --> 00:57:59,880
Yeah, that's really funny.
1481
00:58:00,120 --> 00:58:01,167
It's Evan.
1482
00:58:03,400 --> 00:58:04,731
And Brendan.
1483
00:58:05,400 --> 00:58:06,401
And Juan.
1484
00:58:06,560 --> 00:58:08,449
So, fuck you.
1485
00:58:08,600 --> 00:58:10,250
Haze me. Say it.
1486
00:58:10,400 --> 00:58:12,050
Say it! Come on!
Say it, Teddy.
1487
00:58:12,400 --> 00:58:14,846
I will haze you until your
fucking face falls off!
1488
00:58:15,080 --> 00:58:16,923
Yeah!
1489
00:58:17,960 --> 00:58:19,450
That's great. Okay, okay.
We did it.
1490
00:58:19,880 --> 00:58:22,080
You're in so much fucking trouble.
Come with me, pledge.
1491
00:58:22,120 --> 00:58:23,121
Oh, fuck.
1492
00:58:24,400 --> 00:58:25,606
Fuck him up, Teddy.
1493
00:58:28,480 --> 00:58:30,448
I'm sorry.
I'll do anything.
1494
00:58:35,760 --> 00:58:36,841
What's going on, Gary?
1495
00:58:38,040 --> 00:58:40,042
Are you okay, man?
You seem distraught.
1496
00:58:40,240 --> 00:58:41,844
"You seem distraught"?
1497
00:58:41,920 --> 00:58:44,207
I mean, you've always been, in my
opinion, like, our strongest pledge,
1498
00:58:44,280 --> 00:58:45,520
and now you're talking back.
1499
00:58:45,600 --> 00:58:47,000
I'm scared.
You're scared?
1500
00:58:47,024 --> 00:58:50,163
I'm fucking scared, man.
I'm tired all the time.
1501
00:58:50,240 --> 00:58:52,368
Fucking tired.
I miss my mom.
1502
00:58:52,440 --> 00:58:54,240
Oh, no, Assjuice.
Breaking? The guy was right.
1503
00:58:54,280 --> 00:58:55,280
Everybody breaks.
1504
00:58:55,320 --> 00:58:56,731
Okay. I'll tell you what.
1505
00:58:56,800 --> 00:58:58,325
You go up to my room.
1506
00:58:58,400 --> 00:59:00,880
Lock the door,
draw yourself a bath. Relax.
1507
00:59:01,120 --> 00:59:02,451
"Draw yourself a bath"?
1508
00:59:02,680 --> 00:59:04,728
Catch up on some Z's,
okay? Take a nap.
1509
00:59:04,840 --> 00:59:06,440
Full season of Girls
up there in the DVR.
1510
00:59:06,464 --> 00:59:07,811
We never planned for nice.
1511
00:59:07,920 --> 00:59:09,680
Thanks for talking to me,
brother. All right?
1512
00:59:09,704 --> 00:59:12,105
You can always come to me with
this kind of stuff, all right?
1513
00:59:13,640 --> 00:59:15,961
You're doing a great job.
See you upstairs.
1514
00:59:22,880 --> 00:59:25,360
I'm sorry, guys.
He's too good of a dude.
1515
00:59:26,040 --> 00:59:27,485
No!
Teddy!
1516
00:59:29,040 --> 00:59:30,929
What's up?
Yeah, one more thing.
1517
00:59:31,000 --> 00:59:32,001
No more thing!
1518
00:59:32,120 --> 00:59:34,168
These glasses,
there's a camera in them.
1519
00:59:34,360 --> 00:59:35,407
No!
1520
00:59:35,520 --> 00:59:36,567
Oh, my God!
1521
00:59:36,760 --> 00:59:37,886
The asset's gone rogue.
1522
00:59:38,000 --> 00:59:39,001
Shit, he's still talking.
1523
00:59:39,080 --> 00:59:40,081
Your neighbors
got me to wear them,
1524
00:59:40,160 --> 00:59:41,440
so they could
film you hazing us,
1525
00:59:41,480 --> 00:59:42,960
so the fraternity
would get dissolved.
1526
00:59:43,040 --> 00:59:46,044
And this isn't the first time. No, no,
no, no. They flooded the basement.
1527
00:59:46,200 --> 00:59:48,931
They got Brother Pete to
hook up with Sister Brooke.
1528
00:59:50,000 --> 00:59:51,161
I'm so sorry, man.
1529
00:59:51,240 --> 00:59:52,605
It's okay. They've been
after us for weeks.
1530
00:59:52,680 --> 00:59:54,125
No!
He's telling him everything!
1531
00:59:54,200 --> 00:59:55,804
Oh, my God!
Jesus Christ, guys!
1532
00:59:55,920 --> 00:59:57,285
Oh, my Gem.
Oh, my Gem.!
1533
00:59:59,600 --> 01:00:00,601
Wait.
1534
01:00:01,240 --> 01:00:02,287
He's looking at us.
1535
01:00:02,360 --> 01:00:04,203
What are you doing?
He's looking at us.
1536
01:00:05,000 --> 01:00:07,924
You guys just crossed
the fucking line. You're dead.
1537
01:00:08,520 --> 01:00:09,601
We're dead?
1538
01:00:11,160 --> 01:00:13,128
Oh, God! Oh, my God!
That was scary.
1539
01:00:13,200 --> 01:00:14,531
Come on, guys.
Jesus.
1540
01:00:14,880 --> 01:00:16,689
How do you turn these off?
1541
01:00:17,000 --> 01:00:18,365
It's on the side.
1542
01:00:19,200 --> 01:00:21,885
We're gonna
go to the shops
1543
01:00:22,200 --> 01:00:25,522
Then we're gonna
go to Mommy and Me
1544
01:00:25,720 --> 01:00:29,042
And see all those
bitches that I hate
1545
01:00:29,200 --> 01:00:32,886
It's gonna be really boring
1546
01:00:33,160 --> 01:00:35,367
But we'll get out of the house!
1547
01:00:44,040 --> 01:00:47,681
I think the frat has broken into
the car and stolen all of the airbags.
1548
01:00:47,840 --> 01:00:49,251
Airbags?
Yeah.
1549
01:00:49,400 --> 01:00:51,084
That's so weird.
Is anything else missing?
1550
01:00:51,240 --> 01:00:52,605
Okay No!
1551
01:00:53,280 --> 01:00:55,280
Why would they just break in
and steal the airbags?
1552
01:00:55,304 --> 01:00:57,144
I don't know. We should
file a police report...
1553
01:01:02,240 --> 01:01:03,605
What the fuck?
1554
01:01:04,680 --> 01:01:05,806
Oh, shit!
1555
01:01:07,760 --> 01:01:09,171
Found the airbags!
1556
01:01:11,040 --> 01:01:12,246
There's three left!
1557
01:01:13,720 --> 01:01:14,801
Fuck!
1558
01:01:15,160 --> 01:01:16,241
Two left!
1559
01:01:17,280 --> 01:01:18,770
Jimmy, are you okay?
1560
01:01:19,600 --> 01:01:20,601
I'm fine!
1561
01:01:20,760 --> 01:01:23,604
It wasn't as bad as
it seemed. I'm fine.
1562
01:01:23,760 --> 01:01:25,524
Delta Psi has the upper hand!
1563
01:01:25,880 --> 01:01:28,406
We went too far now.
This is dangerous.
1564
01:01:28,920 --> 01:01:30,570
We did not go too far.
1565
01:01:30,640 --> 01:01:32,608
Now is when we get
them back even more.
1566
01:01:32,680 --> 01:01:34,444
Do you see what they fucking did to me?
We don't stop now!
1567
01:01:34,600 --> 01:01:37,120
So, what it's gonna be next? They're
gonna break into the house?
1568
01:01:37,144 --> 01:01:37,967
No. No.
1569
01:01:38,040 --> 01:01:40,691
You need to grow up, okay?
Our family is in danger.
1570
01:01:40,960 --> 01:01:42,680
I need to grow up?
Yes, you need to grow up.
1571
01:01:42,800 --> 01:01:44,960
One of us has got to be the
adult in this relationship.
1572
01:01:45,000 --> 01:01:46,240
You should take responsibility.
1573
01:01:46,280 --> 01:01:48,442
That's not only offensive,
but it's fucking stupid.
1574
01:01:48,720 --> 01:01:50,449
It's offensive that I'm saying
that you should be smart?
1575
01:01:50,640 --> 01:01:53,371
Yes, it's offensive that I have
to be the smart one all the time!
1576
01:01:53,480 --> 01:01:55,320
I'm allowed to be
just as irresponsible as you.
1577
01:01:55,344 --> 01:01:57,287
Well, that's how it works!
I'm the dumb guy,
1578
01:01:57,400 --> 01:01:58,880
and you're the woman
who's supposed to
1579
01:01:58,920 --> 01:02:00,440
stop the dumb guy
from doing dumb shit!
1580
01:02:00,464 --> 01:02:02,522
Haven't you ever seen
a fucking Kevin James movie?
1581
01:02:02,600 --> 01:02:04,762
We can't both be Kevin James.
I'm Kevin James!
1582
01:02:04,840 --> 01:02:06,604
I have a little bit
of Kevin James in me.
1583
01:02:06,680 --> 01:02:07,727
Well, we can't both...
1584
01:02:07,800 --> 01:02:10,480
Clearly, you're the one who knows
better, so you should know better.
1585
01:02:10,504 --> 01:02:13,249
You know that I'm not like that,
and I've never been like that.
1586
01:02:13,320 --> 01:02:14,890
Well, maybe you should be.
That's never been me.
1587
01:02:15,000 --> 01:02:16,411
Just because I'm
a mom doesn't mean
1588
01:02:16,520 --> 01:02:18,010
that I'm gonna change who I am.
1589
01:02:18,080 --> 01:02:19,360
Well, just because I'm a father,
1590
01:02:19,384 --> 01:02:22,927
it doesn't mean I can stop doing
mushrooms with teenagers.
1591
01:02:23,000 --> 01:02:24,001
Fine!
Fine!
1592
01:02:24,120 --> 01:02:25,120
Good.
Good, then.
1593
01:02:25,160 --> 01:02:27,003
Okay, Kevin, I don't think
we're a good team anymore.
1594
01:02:27,160 --> 01:02:28,280
The team is breaking up.
Yep.
1595
01:02:28,320 --> 01:02:30,209
This worked before
we had Stella, but...
1596
01:02:30,360 --> 01:02:32,010
Now it doesn't.
It doesn't work anymore.
1597
01:02:32,160 --> 01:02:33,400
Yeah, because
someone refuses to grow up.
1598
01:02:33,520 --> 01:02:34,521
Fine. Okay.
Fine then.
1599
01:02:34,600 --> 01:02:36,329
You go find your
nagging wife that you
1600
01:02:36,520 --> 01:02:38,249
want to find,
and I'll go find a real man.
1601
01:02:38,320 --> 01:02:39,810
Fine! Good to know.
Fine.
1602
01:02:39,880 --> 01:02:42,201
I don't feel safe here,
just in case you didn't know.
1603
01:02:42,320 --> 01:02:43,446
Well, that's crazy.
1604
01:02:43,560 --> 01:02:44,840
I'm gonna take our child and go.
1605
01:02:44,879 --> 01:02:46,165
Oh, yeah? Well,
that's ludicrous,
1606
01:02:46,239 --> 01:02:49,050
because this is perhaps the
safest place on the planet,
1607
01:02:49,240 --> 01:02:50,321
just so you know!
1608
01:02:50,480 --> 01:02:51,925
You're kidnapping our baby!
Asshole!
1609
01:02:52,000 --> 01:02:53,570
Don't kidnap our baby!
1610
01:02:53,640 --> 01:02:55,369
I'm gonna put out
an AMBER fucking Alert!
1611
01:02:55,520 --> 01:02:57,249
Enjoy the house by
yourself, you child!
1612
01:02:57,560 --> 01:02:59,005
This is safer
than the White House!
1613
01:03:01,720 --> 01:03:03,370
Dude, we missed the airbag!
1614
01:03:03,560 --> 01:03:05,164
Kelly, there's one left!
1615
01:03:05,640 --> 01:03:07,165
It could be anywhere!
1616
01:03:07,880 --> 01:03:09,291
Ow!
1617
01:03:11,720 --> 01:03:16,203
Hey, man, do you think, maybe we're
going, like, way too far with this?
1618
01:03:16,560 --> 01:03:18,608
I mean, as a child
of divorce, I just...
1619
01:03:18,680 --> 01:03:21,251
I can't help it,
I sympathize with them.
1620
01:03:21,400 --> 01:03:24,563
Well, my parents love each other,
and I think it's hilarious.
1621
01:03:43,760 --> 01:03:44,921
Fuck!
1622
01:03:45,600 --> 01:03:47,921
Fuckers! Fuck!
1623
01:04:17,080 --> 01:04:18,127
Shalom, Mac.
1624
01:04:20,000 --> 01:04:22,571
Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.
1625
01:04:22,640 --> 01:04:23,766
How's it going?
I'm sorry.
1626
01:04:23,880 --> 01:04:25,405
I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.
1627
01:04:25,480 --> 01:04:26,760
I love you so much.
I'm so sorry.
1628
01:04:26,784 --> 01:04:27,801
I love you, I'm sorry.
1629
01:04:27,880 --> 01:04:29,211
I was so stupid.
1630
01:04:29,280 --> 01:04:31,044
What a stupid
fucking fight to have.
1631
01:04:31,120 --> 01:04:32,326
No, I was stupid.
I'm really, really sorry.
1632
01:04:32,440 --> 01:04:33,726
I'm so sorry.
It was so dumb.
1633
01:04:33,800 --> 01:04:35,404
It was really dumb.
I love you so much, okay?
1634
01:04:35,480 --> 01:04:36,766
Do you still like me?
I miss you. I love you.
1635
01:04:36,840 --> 01:04:38,560
Do you still like me?
Yes, I still like you.
1636
01:04:38,584 --> 01:04:40,188
Okay, good. I love you.
Okay.
1637
01:04:40,360 --> 01:04:41,600
She's so crazy.
1638
01:04:41,720 --> 01:04:42,926
She's still behind you.
1639
01:04:44,280 --> 01:04:46,009
Hey.
Hi.
1640
01:04:53,200 --> 01:04:54,645
Lame, isn't it, Pete?
1641
01:05:00,640 --> 01:05:01,880
Whoa.
1642
01:05:02,000 --> 01:05:04,606
You're really
villaining out in here.
1643
01:05:05,360 --> 01:05:07,169
What's lame?
What's going on?
1644
01:05:07,760 --> 01:05:09,888
Lame that we're on probation.
1645
01:05:10,840 --> 01:05:12,280
We're not gonna
end up on this thing.
1646
01:05:12,320 --> 01:05:16,120
That is kind of lame, but also
kind of meaningless, right?
1647
01:05:16,200 --> 01:05:17,600
What the fuck are
you talking about?
1648
01:05:17,640 --> 01:05:20,928
No, man. I just mean, like,
you're the President, you know?
1649
01:05:21,000 --> 01:05:23,360
If you want to be up there so
bad, just put your picture up.
1650
01:05:23,432 --> 01:05:24,432
No one's gonna stop you.
1651
01:05:24,472 --> 01:05:26,288
Because then I didn't earn it.
1652
01:05:27,520 --> 01:05:30,126
It doesn't mean anything
if you don't earn it.
1653
01:05:30,200 --> 01:05:31,645
Who cares?
1654
01:05:32,160 --> 01:05:33,685
"Who cares?"
1655
01:05:35,280 --> 01:05:36,884
Are you kidding me?
1656
01:05:39,720 --> 01:05:41,529
You're the VP, man.
1657
01:05:42,360 --> 01:05:44,601
We have wanted this
since we were freshmen.
1658
01:05:44,680 --> 01:05:47,001
Dude, that was
four years ago, okay?
1659
01:05:47,080 --> 01:05:49,208
We were fucking virgins.
All right?
1660
01:05:49,360 --> 01:05:51,442
We're about to be,
like, adults now.
1661
01:05:51,520 --> 01:05:52,965
In two weeks, none of this
is even gonna matter.
1662
01:05:53,040 --> 01:05:54,440
What the fuck are
you talking about?
1663
01:05:54,480 --> 01:05:57,802
I mean, you do realize that all this
stuff, it's all bullshit, right?
1664
01:05:57,880 --> 01:05:59,245
It's all made up.
1665
01:05:59,320 --> 01:06:02,767
Like, my brother's fraternity also
thinks they invented beer pong.
1666
01:06:02,840 --> 01:06:04,000
Well, your brother is a liar.
1667
01:06:04,040 --> 01:06:05,610
All right, let's put that down.
1668
01:06:06,680 --> 01:06:08,808
Dude, I don't want you
to take this the wrong way,
1669
01:06:08,880 --> 01:06:10,564
but I think you're freaking out
1670
01:06:10,720 --> 01:06:12,370
about what you're
gonna do next year.
1671
01:06:12,440 --> 01:06:13,805
What?
1672
01:06:13,920 --> 01:06:15,331
I'm trying to be
your friend, okay?
1673
01:06:15,400 --> 01:06:17,600
But I don't know why you try
to hide this stuff from me.
1674
01:06:17,624 --> 01:06:19,204
I'm a psychology minor,
you know that.
1675
01:06:19,280 --> 01:06:20,520
"I'm a psychology minor."
1676
01:06:20,600 --> 01:06:22,489
Dude, why do you think
you're so obsessed
1677
01:06:22,600 --> 01:06:24,489
with that old couple
next door, all right?
1678
01:06:24,560 --> 01:06:26,324
It's because they
remind you of the future.
1679
01:06:26,400 --> 01:06:27,606
I'm sorry, but it's true.
1680
01:06:27,680 --> 01:06:29,170
What the fuck are
you talking about?
1681
01:06:29,240 --> 01:06:30,605
You're trying to be my friend?
Yes!
1682
01:06:30,680 --> 01:06:32,648
Well, why don't you go
fuck my girlfriend again?
1683
01:06:32,720 --> 01:06:34,051
What?
Yeah.
1684
01:06:34,120 --> 01:06:35,840
I thought we were over that.
What are you...
1685
01:06:35,955 --> 01:06:37,675
How the fuck could I
be cool with that, man?
1686
01:06:37,755 --> 01:06:39,244
You had sex with my girlfriend!
1687
01:06:39,320 --> 01:06:41,360
What are you... We said all
those things, all right?
1688
01:06:41,384 --> 01:06:42,924
They rhymed!
What the hell was that?
1689
01:06:43,000 --> 01:06:45,765
We said some shit that rhymed?
Are you crazy, man?
1690
01:06:45,840 --> 01:06:47,560
How the fuck would
that make me feel better?
1691
01:06:47,584 --> 01:06:51,047
You don't think I was clearly
trying to mask how I really felt,
1692
01:06:51,120 --> 01:06:52,406
so I tried to bro out with you?
1693
01:06:52,480 --> 01:06:54,130
I don't know!
You're a good actor!
1694
01:06:54,280 --> 01:06:55,964
What the fuck am I
supposed to think?
1695
01:06:56,080 --> 01:06:57,525
Get the fuck out of here!
1696
01:06:57,600 --> 01:07:00,046
God! Dude, take your shit out
on someone else, all right?
1697
01:07:00,160 --> 01:07:01,685
This isn't about me.
Okay.
1698
01:07:01,760 --> 01:07:03,603
That's right, Pete.
Walk away.
1699
01:07:05,040 --> 01:07:06,530
Bitch.
Oh, my God.
1700
01:07:06,600 --> 01:07:07,726
Ahhh!
1701
01:07:08,760 --> 01:07:10,125
Scoonie put his
dick in your mouth
1702
01:07:10,240 --> 01:07:11,605
while you were sleeping, bitch!
1703
01:07:12,440 --> 01:07:13,726
Uh-uh. I wasn't asleep.
1704
01:07:33,960 --> 01:07:35,121
One sec!
1705
01:07:36,120 --> 01:07:37,690
Get your knees in there.
1706
01:07:38,080 --> 01:07:39,320
There you go.
1707
01:07:42,880 --> 01:07:44,120
Hey, neighbor.
1708
01:07:45,440 --> 01:07:46,680
What the fuck do you want, man?
1709
01:07:46,704 --> 01:07:48,369
Hi, how's it going?
1710
01:07:48,440 --> 01:07:49,885
What do you want? It's over.
Yeah.
1711
01:07:50,000 --> 01:07:51,604
You won. There's
nothing else.
1712
01:07:51,680 --> 01:07:52,760
We're just getting started.
1713
01:07:52,800 --> 01:07:54,723
I know what you
might be thinking.
1714
01:07:54,840 --> 01:07:56,251
"Teddy is gonna
graduate this year
1715
01:07:56,360 --> 01:07:57,850
"and everything's
gonna be fine."
1716
01:07:57,920 --> 01:07:58,921
But it won't.
1717
01:07:59,000 --> 01:08:01,520
Because in a few weeks, when school
ends, so does our probation.
1718
01:08:02,160 --> 01:08:07,007
There's gonna be hundreds and thousands of
Teddys living next door to you for all time.
1719
01:08:07,680 --> 01:08:10,923
Because "Teddy" is just an idea.
1720
01:08:11,160 --> 01:08:12,161
It's over.
It's over, man.
1721
01:08:12,240 --> 01:08:13,241
Okay? It's done.
1722
01:08:13,320 --> 01:08:14,606
It's over? Okay, it's over,
it's over, it's over.
1723
01:08:14,680 --> 01:08:16,160
I just have one
thing I wanted to say.
1724
01:08:16,184 --> 01:08:19,084
This entire time, your daughter
is gonna be growing up
1725
01:08:19,160 --> 01:08:21,970
watching all these young,
shirtless men next door,
1726
01:08:22,040 --> 01:08:24,247
and we're gonna be
watching right back.
1727
01:08:24,360 --> 01:08:26,761
You're a bad boy!
Get off our porch.
1728
01:08:26,880 --> 01:08:28,800
Delta Psi, bitch. Now! I'm
gonna call the police!
1729
01:08:28,824 --> 01:08:29,825
Get off!
1730
01:08:31,560 --> 01:08:32,607
We are not moving.
1731
01:08:32,680 --> 01:08:34,603
No. They are.
1732
01:08:35,200 --> 01:08:36,929
The problem is that
they're on probation.
1733
01:08:37,000 --> 01:08:38,161
I know.
They're being careful.
1734
01:08:38,240 --> 01:08:39,920
They're never gonna
do anything ridiculous,
1735
01:08:40,069 --> 01:08:41,480
because they're
watching themselves.
1736
01:08:41,549 --> 01:08:44,727
What would be great is if they
didn't think they were on probation.
1737
01:08:48,440 --> 01:08:52,525
Our probation's been lifted!
Our probation's been lifted!
1738
01:08:52,880 --> 01:08:54,211
Our probation's been lifted!
1739
01:08:55,560 --> 01:08:57,005
Yeah, this is amazing.
1740
01:08:57,160 --> 01:08:59,367
I want a baby.
I'm gonna have a baby.
1741
01:08:59,520 --> 01:09:01,409
You don't want a baby.
Oh, I do.
1742
01:09:01,560 --> 01:09:02,840
Would you be
my surrogate, Kelly?
1743
01:09:02,960 --> 01:09:04,689
No!
Dude, don't ask that.
1744
01:09:04,840 --> 01:09:07,730
Don't be so fucking offended. It's
not like we're gonna have sex.
1745
01:09:08,680 --> 01:09:10,330
- I would masturbate into her.
- That's not how it works.
1746
01:09:10,400 --> 01:09:11,367
That's not what you would do.
1747
01:09:11,480 --> 01:09:12,720
I don't
want to talk about this.
1748
01:09:12,800 --> 01:09:13,960
Oh, shit. Teddy just tweeted.
1749
01:09:13,984 --> 01:09:15,291
What?
1750
01:09:15,400 --> 01:09:16,765
Tomorrow night, party's on.
1751
01:09:17,240 --> 01:09:18,321
Free party tonight.
1752
01:09:18,400 --> 01:09:20,687
There'll be food, blankets.
It's gonna be great.
1753
01:09:20,880 --> 01:09:21,961
We're back on
the air with Dirty Boy.
1754
01:09:22,040 --> 01:09:23,040
And Romie the Homie.
1755
01:09:23,080 --> 01:09:24,920
Right, right.
So let's take a few calls.
1756
01:09:24,960 --> 01:09:26,041
All right, caller,
what's your name?
1757
01:09:26,120 --> 01:09:27,121
Hey, dude.
1758
01:09:27,200 --> 01:09:29,806
This is Nutsack calling
over from Delta Psi.
1759
01:09:29,880 --> 01:09:31,120
What's up, Nutsack?
1760
01:09:31,240 --> 01:09:32,571
We're having
a huge rager tonight.
1761
01:09:32,760 --> 01:09:35,041
You know what brings people to
a party more than anything?
1762
01:09:36,120 --> 01:09:37,167
Celebrities.
1763
01:09:37,240 --> 01:09:39,400
This is Mark Wahlberg. If you
don't come to this party,
1764
01:09:39,424 --> 01:09:41,384
I'm gonna give you a
world-class knuckle sandwich.
1765
01:09:41,408 --> 01:09:43,162
Oh, my gosh.
This is Anne Hathaway.
1766
01:09:43,360 --> 01:09:47,126
I want to ask you to the party this
weekend that I'm having with friends.
1767
01:09:47,360 --> 01:09:49,442
Hello.
This is Julia Child.
1768
01:09:50,000 --> 01:09:52,207
Ho!
Hey, babe, you want to party?
1769
01:09:52,280 --> 01:09:54,362
The question is,
do you want to party?
1770
01:09:54,440 --> 01:09:55,601
Right there.
1771
01:09:55,680 --> 01:09:57,045
You, too, Deadwood.
There you go.
1772
01:09:57,120 --> 01:09:58,121
See you guys-
1773
01:09:58,560 --> 01:10:02,042
Hey, it's Ray Romano.
What are you doin'?
1774
01:10:02,120 --> 01:10:04,280
No, this is Ray Romano and...
No, this is Ray Romano...
1775
01:10:04,304 --> 01:10:05,954
Who is Ray Romano?
1776
01:10:06,400 --> 01:10:08,528
This is President Barack Obama,
1777
01:10:08,640 --> 01:10:11,689
telling you to
come to a great party
1778
01:10:11,800 --> 01:10:14,804
this evening at
2203 West Olmstead.
1779
01:10:14,880 --> 01:10:16,006
Peace, nigga.
1780
01:10:35,400 --> 01:10:37,801
Gentlemen,
we are fortunate members
1781
01:10:37,920 --> 01:10:41,402
of a prestigious lineage
of extraordinary gentlemen.
1782
01:10:42,640 --> 01:10:45,405
We are Delta Psi Beta.
1783
01:10:45,480 --> 01:10:46,891
Delta Psi!
1784
01:10:49,960 --> 01:10:54,966
Now, there is no higher honor in Delta
Psi than making it onto the wall.
1785
01:10:55,520 --> 01:10:59,650
And this year,
we will make it on that wall.
1786
01:11:00,000 --> 01:11:01,923
People have
hot-boxed showers.
1787
01:11:02,000 --> 01:11:03,206
They've hot-boxed cars.
1788
01:11:03,320 --> 01:11:05,561
Attics. Caves. Fire trucks.
1789
01:11:05,640 --> 01:11:07,768
Porta-Potties. Private planes.
1790
01:11:07,840 --> 01:11:10,605
But tonight,
forget the hot-box.
1791
01:11:10,680 --> 01:11:13,843
I give you the hot house.
1792
01:12:29,880 --> 01:12:31,689
Holy shit.
1793
01:12:31,760 --> 01:12:34,000
This party
is getting out of control.
1794
01:12:34,077 --> 01:12:35,477
This is strike three.
This is crazy.
1795
01:12:35,517 --> 01:12:36,929
Strike three.
Yes!
1796
01:12:37,040 --> 01:12:40,044
Yes, hello. This is the
President of the neighborhood watch.
1797
01:12:40,120 --> 01:12:44,808
There is a giant party at
2203 West Olmstead right now.
1798
01:12:44,920 --> 01:12:48,367
They're yelling and fighting. The
ringleader's name is Scoonie.
1799
01:12:48,440 --> 01:12:50,090
He's a little scrawny piece
of shit with a giant dick.
1800
01:12:50,200 --> 01:12:51,960
Come on, come on. Stay on message!
I'm sorry.
1801
01:12:52,030 --> 01:12:53,077
They are sending the cops.
1802
01:12:53,190 --> 01:12:56,641
We have a
disturbance at 2203 West Olmstead.
1803
01:12:56,720 --> 01:12:57,721
10-4.
1804
01:13:00,280 --> 01:13:02,567
What is this?
Is this our flyer?
1805
01:13:02,640 --> 01:13:04,961
No, we do everything online!
1806
01:13:05,040 --> 01:13:06,724
Who makes flyers anymore?
1807
01:13:06,800 --> 01:13:08,040
Fucking old people!
1808
01:13:08,120 --> 01:13:09,406
Old people?
1809
01:13:09,480 --> 01:13:12,324
Thumbsucker! Let me see the
letter from the school, man!
1810
01:13:17,480 --> 01:13:19,403
Our school's
insignia is in Latin.
1811
01:13:19,480 --> 01:13:21,050
This is in Jewish!
1812
01:13:21,120 --> 01:13:22,724
What?
We're not off probation!
1813
01:13:22,800 --> 01:13:24,006
The old people
have the upper hand.
1814
01:13:24,120 --> 01:13:25,480
We got to get
everyone out of here!
1815
01:13:25,554 --> 01:13:26,594
We got to get everybody...
1816
01:13:26,674 --> 01:13:28,204
Hootie-hoo!
Hootie-hoo!
1817
01:13:29,840 --> 01:13:30,841
Guys!
1818
01:13:31,320 --> 01:13:33,163
Hootie-hoo! Hootie-hoo!
1819
01:13:41,240 --> 01:13:42,401
Shit, they're hootie-hooing!
1820
01:13:42,520 --> 01:13:43,965
What?
They're fucking hootie-hooing.
1821
01:13:44,040 --> 01:13:45,120
What does that mean?
1822
01:13:45,160 --> 01:13:46,446
That means they know
the cops are coming.
1823
01:13:46,520 --> 01:13:48,249
I don't get it! It's
from an Outkast song.
1824
01:13:48,360 --> 01:13:50,010
Born and
bred up on the street top
1825
01:13:50,080 --> 01:13:52,200
Get the money and the sweet
spot And forever hollerin'
1826
01:13:52,280 --> 01:13:53,725
Hootie-hoo
When we see cops
1827
01:13:53,800 --> 01:13:55,404
Yo, cops be robbing niggaz
blind With the dollars...
1828
01:13:55,520 --> 01:13:57,170
Okay, okay, we fucking get it!
I get it. I get it.
1829
01:13:57,240 --> 01:13:58,810
That's the song. How could
they know that's happening?
1830
01:13:58,880 --> 01:14:00,006
How do they know
something's wrong?
1831
01:14:00,120 --> 01:14:01,200
It's because of the Hebrew.
1832
01:14:01,224 --> 01:14:04,204
I put a little Hebrew in the school
sign, you know, like a coded game.
1833
01:14:04,320 --> 01:14:05,606
What?
What?
1834
01:14:05,680 --> 01:14:07,200
Check this out.
Inside the school seal,
1835
01:14:07,224 --> 01:14:11,524
I put sof hamisschak, which
is Hebrew for "game over."
1836
01:14:11,600 --> 01:14:14,251
What the fuck is wrong with you, man?
Why did you do that?
1837
01:14:14,360 --> 01:14:15,441
- Stop hitting me.
- That's so stupid!
1838
01:14:15,520 --> 01:14:17,040
No! No, no!
It's like a wink, you know?
1839
01:14:17,114 --> 01:14:18,718
Like at the end of a heist,
you leave your calling card.
1840
01:14:18,794 --> 01:14:20,164
It's like,
"They got us again."
1841
01:14:20,240 --> 01:14:22,049
One big difference,
the heist isn't done!
1842
01:14:22,160 --> 01:14:23,924
We're mid-fucking-heist,
genius!
1843
01:14:36,320 --> 01:14:39,051
Everybody out! Party's over!
1844
01:14:39,200 --> 01:14:41,441
Let's go!
This is not a fucking drill!
1845
01:14:41,520 --> 01:14:43,488
Stop standing around!
Let's go!
1846
01:14:43,560 --> 01:14:46,643
Drinks down! No alcohol outside!
Get the fuck out of here!
1847
01:14:47,240 --> 01:14:49,402
Party's over!
Dirty Santa, let's go!
1848
01:14:50,400 --> 01:14:51,800
Everyone's clearing out.
Oh, my God!
1849
01:14:51,824 --> 01:14:52,950
Everyone's leaving!
1850
01:14:53,400 --> 01:14:56,244
This isn't a strike! It's not a
strike if everyone's leaving!
1851
01:14:56,320 --> 01:14:57,321
Shit!
1852
01:14:58,760 --> 01:14:59,761
It's Watkins.
1853
01:15:00,000 --> 01:15:02,401
Looks like the party shut down.
1854
01:15:04,600 --> 01:15:05,601
Cops are here.
1855
01:15:06,080 --> 01:15:08,606
Fuck me! Shit! They're sending
Garf out to talk to him.
1856
01:15:08,760 --> 01:15:10,520
He's so charming,
he'll get the cop to leave.
1857
01:15:10,600 --> 01:15:11,840
Yo, is there a party
going on around here?
1858
01:15:11,920 --> 01:15:14,082
No, no. There was,
but I shut that down.
1859
01:15:14,280 --> 01:15:16,009
You got nothing to
worry about, officer.
1860
01:15:16,160 --> 01:15:17,730
That's really
responsible of you guys.
1861
01:15:17,840 --> 01:15:19,444
You must've heard
we were coming.
1862
01:15:19,600 --> 01:15:22,604
Look, we're in a nice neighborhood.
We want to be good neighbors.
1863
01:15:22,760 --> 01:15:24,200
It's the least we
could do, you know?
1864
01:15:24,224 --> 01:15:25,610
We appreciate that, man.
1865
01:15:25,920 --> 01:15:27,046
I'm gonna go now.
No.
1866
01:15:27,200 --> 01:15:28,920
You're not trying to
get rid of me, are you?
1867
01:15:28,944 --> 01:15:30,946
No. No.
1868
01:15:31,280 --> 01:15:33,123
We've got to save...
Come on, we're so close!
1869
01:15:33,280 --> 01:15:34,964
We gotta save this. What do we do?
Okay, okay, okay.
1870
01:15:35,120 --> 01:15:37,000
Teddy's room. We got to
sneak into Teddy's room.
1871
01:15:37,024 --> 01:15:38,610
Fuse box. We'll turn
the party back on.
1872
01:15:38,800 --> 01:15:40,211
Get the party going again.
Get the party started.
1873
01:15:40,360 --> 01:15:41,960
Let's go. Get the party started!
Come on!
1874
01:15:41,984 --> 01:15:43,344
Grab the monitor.
Grab the monitor.
1875
01:15:43,400 --> 01:15:45,289
What are you doing?
I'm sneaking.
1876
01:15:45,440 --> 01:15:46,885
What the fuck?
1877
01:15:47,000 --> 01:15:48,490
Don't worry about it.
1878
01:15:48,640 --> 01:15:50,051
Is that your real name? Garf?
1879
01:15:50,240 --> 01:15:51,401
Well, Garfield.
1880
01:15:51,560 --> 01:15:53,244
Garfield.
Garfield, yeah. Yeah.
1881
01:15:53,360 --> 01:15:54,407
Oh.
Yeah.
1882
01:15:54,480 --> 01:15:56,050
Like the cat.
My father... Yeah.
1883
01:15:56,120 --> 01:15:57,724
"I hate Mondays!"
1884
01:15:58,080 --> 01:15:59,764
"I hate Mondays!"
1885
01:15:59,920 --> 01:16:01,285
"I love lasagna!"
1886
01:16:05,440 --> 01:16:09,206
Do some cat stuff real quick.
Be sarcastic or lick yourself.
1887
01:16:10,560 --> 01:16:12,801
Okay. All right.
1888
01:16:19,160 --> 01:16:21,322
I love fucking with
you when you high, man.
1889
01:16:27,320 --> 01:16:28,765
Get the hell
out of here.
1890
01:16:28,840 --> 01:16:32,003
Everybody out!
Hootie-hoo! Let's go!
1891
01:16:32,160 --> 01:16:35,130
All right, fellas,
get a move on. Hootie-hoo!
1892
01:16:35,280 --> 01:16:38,170
What the fuck is wrong with you, man?
What the...
1893
01:16:38,280 --> 01:16:40,521
That was, like, a distraction so
they couldn't see what was going on.
1894
01:16:40,600 --> 01:16:41,601
Grow up! It worked.
Okay. Okay.
1895
01:16:41,680 --> 01:16:43,160
Yeah. There wasn't
anything behind it.
1896
01:16:43,184 --> 01:16:44,265
You used so much tongue!
1897
01:16:44,440 --> 01:16:46,204
Upstairs clear!
1898
01:16:51,480 --> 01:16:54,324
Hey. Do not let anyone
upstairs, you got me?
1899
01:16:54,480 --> 01:16:56,050
Yes, sir.
1900
01:17:04,880 --> 01:17:06,370
Holy fuck.
1901
01:17:10,280 --> 01:17:12,009
What was that?
1902
01:17:12,160 --> 01:17:15,130
Shaggy, Scooby,
Jizzface, let's investigate!
1903
01:17:17,400 --> 01:17:19,209
It's open. It's open.
1904
01:17:31,480 --> 01:17:33,164
He's right there!
He's right there!
1905
01:17:33,240 --> 01:17:34,960
What do we do? What do we do?
What do we do?
1906
01:17:35,000 --> 01:17:36,809
We got to get him out of there!
Distraction.
1907
01:17:36,920 --> 01:17:37,921
Okay, distraction.
What? What do we do?
1908
01:17:38,080 --> 01:17:39,081
Distraction, distraction.
1909
01:17:39,160 --> 01:17:40,844
I'm gonna jump off the balcony.
What?
1910
01:17:42,760 --> 01:17:45,047
No. no, Why? Why?
No! What?
1911
01:17:46,280 --> 01:17:48,009
Oh, God!
1912
01:17:50,480 --> 01:17:52,687
Fuck! Shit, shit. Go!
1913
01:17:55,440 --> 01:17:56,805
What the fuck?
1914
01:18:00,440 --> 01:18:01,441
Nice. He's gone.
1915
01:18:01,600 --> 01:18:02,647
He's gone.
1916
01:18:03,880 --> 01:18:05,723
Come on, come on!
Damn it!
1917
01:18:05,880 --> 01:18:07,803
One, two, three?
1918
01:18:07,880 --> 01:18:08,880
No!
1919
01:18:08,920 --> 01:18:11,526
Oh, God! Oh, God!
1920
01:18:11,600 --> 01:18:13,045
My God, Jesus!
1921
01:18:13,120 --> 01:18:14,246
What the hell, bro?
1922
01:18:14,320 --> 01:18:15,446
What up, Teddy?
1923
01:18:15,560 --> 01:18:16,607
What the fuck?
1924
01:18:16,680 --> 01:18:17,681
"Boobs" upside down!
1925
01:18:17,760 --> 01:18:19,922
I can't do "boob."
I can do "Bob."
1926
01:18:20,000 --> 01:18:21,843
I can do "cock."
I can do "C-O-K."
1927
01:18:21,920 --> 01:18:22,920
Sixty-nine?
1928
01:18:22,960 --> 01:18:24,280
Sixty-nine?
There's three numbers!
1929
01:18:24,353 --> 01:18:26,355
What other stupid number
combinations are there?
1930
01:18:26,673 --> 01:18:29,882
I'll never talk!
I'm unbreakable!
1931
01:18:29,960 --> 01:18:31,166
Jesus!
1932
01:18:31,280 --> 01:18:33,248
I'm not a distraction.
1933
01:18:34,240 --> 01:18:35,287
It's a distraction?
1934
01:18:35,480 --> 01:18:36,481
No! No!
1935
01:18:36,640 --> 01:18:39,484
I got it, I got it.
I got it.
1936
01:18:42,880 --> 01:18:43,927
Four-twenty?
1937
01:18:44,040 --> 01:18:45,041
Victory.
1938
01:18:45,240 --> 01:18:46,480
Boom! Yes!
1939
01:18:46,640 --> 01:18:48,642
Yes! Yes! Yes!
1940
01:18:49,800 --> 01:18:51,962
Yes.
I'm gonna kill you.
1941
01:18:52,840 --> 01:18:54,330
Go, go.
Okay.
1942
01:18:55,120 --> 01:18:57,248
Don't open this door
no matter what you hear!
1943
01:18:57,800 --> 01:18:58,926
TEDDY; This is it.
1944
01:18:59,080 --> 01:19:00,923
Mano y mano.
1945
01:19:01,080 --> 01:19:02,809
You are not getting
through this door.
1946
01:19:02,880 --> 01:19:05,167
Jesus. Okay.
1947
01:19:06,760 --> 01:19:08,524
Fuck, these kids
locked everything!
1948
01:19:08,600 --> 01:19:09,600
God damn it.
1949
01:19:09,680 --> 01:19:11,921
I've been wanting this.
I've got your number.
1950
01:19:12,000 --> 01:19:13,331
Ready?
1951
01:19:13,480 --> 01:19:14,880
Yeah, I'm ready.
Are you ready, huh?
1952
01:19:14,904 --> 01:19:15,904
Oh?
1953
01:19:15,920 --> 01:19:17,001
Oh? Huh?
1954
01:19:18,160 --> 01:19:19,446
Old man.
Oh, my nuts!
1955
01:19:19,600 --> 01:19:21,011
Why the fuck do
you keep fighting?
1956
01:19:25,520 --> 01:19:26,965
Yes, that felt good!
1957
01:19:27,360 --> 01:19:28,600
I hit him, Kelly!
Fuck!
1958
01:19:29,200 --> 01:19:31,601
Oh. yeah!
1959
01:19:35,600 --> 01:19:37,523
Okay, let's just
relax for a second.
1960
01:19:37,680 --> 01:19:38,681
Baby, let me in!
1961
01:19:38,840 --> 01:19:42,128
I can't let you in yet. I haven't
figured out how to open it!
1962
01:19:42,200 --> 01:19:43,201
Okay, fuck me!
1963
01:19:48,480 --> 01:19:49,527
Stay!
1964
01:19:53,520 --> 01:19:54,567
What the fuck?
1965
01:19:57,000 --> 01:19:58,001
How'd you even do that?
1966
01:19:58,120 --> 01:19:59,121
No idea.
1967
01:19:59,280 --> 01:20:01,169
Come here!
No!
1968
01:20:02,160 --> 01:20:03,286
What the fuck? Damn it!
1969
01:20:03,400 --> 01:20:04,845
Who still has waterbeds?
1970
01:20:19,600 --> 01:20:20,681
Let's do this shit.
1971
01:20:27,560 --> 01:20:28,925
Suck my dick!
1972
01:20:30,200 --> 01:20:31,565
Suck my dick.
1973
01:20:35,400 --> 01:20:36,640
Yeah, suck it! Suck my dick.
1974
01:20:36,760 --> 01:20:38,000
No, no!
1975
01:20:42,120 --> 01:20:44,248
So gross! Ew!
1976
01:20:44,760 --> 01:20:46,728
That was very immature!
1977
01:20:51,920 --> 01:20:53,001
I'm Batman!
1978
01:20:53,600 --> 01:20:55,364
Oh! Fuck!
1979
01:20:57,440 --> 01:20:58,521
I'm Batman!
1980
01:21:00,520 --> 01:21:01,760
Ahhh!
1981
01:21:02,280 --> 01:21:03,281
Oh, shit!
1982
01:21:04,440 --> 01:21:05,726
Fuck me!
1983
01:21:15,160 --> 01:21:16,321
God damn it!
1984
01:21:18,680 --> 01:21:21,286
Good luck with all
your problems, officer.
1985
01:21:21,640 --> 01:21:22,846
Really.
1986
01:21:32,120 --> 01:21:33,485
Get off of me!
1987
01:21:33,800 --> 01:21:34,926
God damn it!
1988
01:21:35,640 --> 01:21:36,926
No, no, no!
Yeah!
1989
01:21:38,320 --> 01:21:39,401
Oh, shit!
1990
01:21:39,480 --> 01:21:40,641
Kelly!
1991
01:21:41,160 --> 01:21:42,446
Kelly, honey.
1992
01:21:43,320 --> 01:21:45,084
He's coming.
Kelly, it's over!
1993
01:21:45,920 --> 01:21:47,251
Kelly, he's coming!
1994
01:21:47,360 --> 01:21:49,328
Fuck! Shit!
1995
01:21:50,080 --> 01:21:51,650
So long, neighbor.
1996
01:22:03,320 --> 01:22:06,290
I need backup at
2203 West Olmstead!
1997
01:22:06,880 --> 01:22:09,565
Delta Psi is attacking me!
I'm under fire right now!
1998
01:22:09,640 --> 01:22:10,766
I need backup! Over!
1999
01:22:11,960 --> 01:22:13,291
Well played, motherfuckers.
2000
01:22:13,360 --> 01:22:14,640
What the fuck
are you looking at?
2001
01:22:14,664 --> 01:22:16,024
What the fuck are
y'all looking at?
2002
01:22:17,320 --> 01:22:19,163
Well played.
What the fuck?
2003
01:22:20,800 --> 01:22:23,326
You can't tell anyone I showed you this.
Okay, baby?
2004
01:22:23,400 --> 01:22:24,520
Oh, my God.
Shut up, Scoonie.
2005
01:22:24,600 --> 01:22:25,681
I'm sorry, baby.
2006
01:22:31,120 --> 01:22:33,691
No, guys! Hey, hey!
2007
01:22:34,160 --> 01:22:35,207
Oh, shit!
2008
01:22:35,280 --> 01:22:36,406
Holy shit!
2009
01:22:36,520 --> 01:22:37,726
My brothers need me.
2010
01:22:42,000 --> 01:22:43,081
Holy shit.
2011
01:23:00,480 --> 01:23:02,482
Holy shit!
Did you break your leg?
2012
01:23:03,200 --> 01:23:04,725
Baby broke his leg!
2013
01:23:04,800 --> 01:23:06,643
I'm not a baby.
2014
01:23:06,720 --> 01:23:08,404
Oh, no?
I'm a fucking man!
2015
01:23:08,480 --> 01:23:10,084
My God, Jimmy!
2016
01:23:10,200 --> 01:23:11,725
He's so light.
He's all dick.
2017
01:23:11,840 --> 01:23:13,080
Thank you.
2018
01:23:13,680 --> 01:23:15,648
Keep your dick
away from my wife!
2019
01:23:17,520 --> 01:23:18,885
YOLO!
2020
01:23:21,200 --> 01:23:22,645
This is who I am.
2021
01:23:23,480 --> 01:23:25,448
Jimmy fuckin' Blevitz.
2022
01:23:26,520 --> 01:23:27,601
You want this?
2023
01:23:28,920 --> 01:23:30,251
Oh, my leg.
2024
01:23:33,560 --> 01:23:34,766
Let's make a baby.
2025
01:23:36,800 --> 01:23:38,040
That'll solve all our problems.
2026
01:23:38,064 --> 01:23:39,111
Yeah.
2027
01:23:46,200 --> 01:23:47,361
We are fucked, man.
2028
01:23:47,680 --> 01:23:49,091
Yeah. We're fucked, man.
2029
01:23:49,720 --> 01:23:52,371
I guess we're all going down
in a blaze of glory, huh?
2030
01:23:52,440 --> 01:23:55,250
What? No way, man.
Get out of here.
2031
01:23:55,320 --> 01:23:57,129
Dude, all that shit
I was saying the other day
2032
01:23:57,280 --> 01:23:59,044
about you and the fraternity...
2033
01:23:59,120 --> 01:24:01,088
Fuck that, all right?
I was out of line, man.
2034
01:24:01,160 --> 01:24:02,161
This stuff is important.
2035
01:24:02,280 --> 01:24:03,327
I know.
2036
01:24:03,400 --> 01:24:06,643
Regardless of anything,
we're brothers for life.
2037
01:24:06,720 --> 01:24:09,041
This is on me.
I took it too far.
2038
01:24:09,160 --> 01:24:10,685
That's why you got to go.
2039
01:24:10,760 --> 01:24:12,560
You got a bright future, kid.
2040
01:24:12,584 --> 01:24:14,154
You're the smartest
person I know.
2041
01:24:14,440 --> 01:24:15,851
I'm the President
of a fraternity.
2042
01:24:15,920 --> 01:24:17,680
You could be President
of the United Nations.
2043
01:24:17,704 --> 01:24:19,608
There is no President
of the United Nations.
2044
01:24:19,680 --> 01:24:22,809
Yeah, but see, that's my fucking point!
You know shit like that, man!
2045
01:24:22,880 --> 01:24:23,961
This is all my fault.
2046
01:24:24,120 --> 01:24:25,167
You're not taking
the heat for this.
2047
01:24:25,240 --> 01:24:26,321
I fucking will, man.
2048
01:24:26,680 --> 01:24:28,523
Brothers don't get divorced.
Yeah, I know.
2049
01:24:28,680 --> 01:24:30,967
I'm a supernova.
Burn bright, die young.
2050
01:24:31,120 --> 01:24:32,326
I fucking love you, man.
2051
01:24:32,520 --> 01:24:34,488
I love you, dawg.
I love you.
2052
01:24:35,160 --> 01:24:36,924
I fucking love you, man.
Get out of here.
2053
01:24:37,080 --> 01:24:39,367
Be in this moment!
Live in this shit with me!
2054
01:24:40,480 --> 01:24:41,925
I love you!
I love you, too, man.
2055
01:24:42,080 --> 01:24:43,127
I love you!
2056
01:24:43,280 --> 01:24:44,805
I fucking love you, Pete.
I love you!
2057
01:24:46,640 --> 01:24:49,928
I love you, too, but...
Get out of here, man! Just go!
2058
01:24:51,680 --> 01:24:53,170
Delta Psi.
2059
01:24:53,280 --> 01:24:54,770
Delta Psi, man. All right?
2060
01:24:56,960 --> 01:24:59,042
Go! Get the brothers
out of here now, man!
2061
01:24:59,120 --> 01:25:00,565
Go. go!
All right! Hey!
2062
01:25:00,640 --> 01:25:04,281
T-Bone, Gerbil, Jizzface, let's get
the fuck out of here! Let's go!
2063
01:25:13,760 --> 01:25:15,489
Delta Psi forever!
2064
01:25:17,280 --> 01:25:18,884
Delta Psi this shit!
2065
01:25:19,080 --> 01:25:22,641
You've been a bad boy.
I'm gonna spank you.
2066
01:25:42,040 --> 01:25:43,246
That's our baby.
2067
01:25:43,720 --> 01:25:45,165
She's so sweet.
2068
01:25:45,560 --> 01:25:46,641
Look at her.
2069
01:25:49,600 --> 01:25:50,965
We're a family.
2070
01:25:51,640 --> 01:25:53,085
We are.
2071
01:25:56,400 --> 01:25:57,686
I love you.
2072
01:26:07,400 --> 01:26:09,129
Holy shit.
That was close.
2073
01:26:09,280 --> 01:26:11,280
I could not deal with that right now.
Fuck, no way.
2074
01:26:11,360 --> 01:26:12,771
Jesus.
I'm exhausted.
2075
01:26:12,920 --> 01:26:14,888
That would be a fucking disaster.
Oh, Jesus.
2076
01:26:15,160 --> 01:26:16,161
We did it!
2077
01:26:16,240 --> 01:26:17,605
We did it.
We fucking did it.
2078
01:26:17,680 --> 01:26:18,761
We did it.
2079
01:26:18,880 --> 01:26:20,080
We did it.
2080
01:26:20,120 --> 01:26:21,281
Come on.
2081
01:26:21,440 --> 01:26:22,566
We fucking did that shit.
2082
01:26:22,720 --> 01:26:24,529
We totally did it.
2083
01:26:24,680 --> 01:26:28,730
I think I was near one of
those oil drums for too long.
2084
01:26:29,440 --> 01:26:31,761
I think I might be
really quite stoned.
2085
01:26:31,840 --> 01:26:33,001
Me, too.
2086
01:26:34,040 --> 01:26:35,121
Life's crazy.
2087
01:26:35,240 --> 01:26:36,287
It is crazy.
2088
01:26:36,360 --> 01:26:38,283
I milked you.
2089
01:26:38,360 --> 01:26:41,603
You're a human being,
and I fucking milked you.
2090
01:26:42,520 --> 01:26:45,729
We made a baby. Things have changed.
Everything has changed.
2091
01:26:45,880 --> 01:26:47,360
Part of our life is
just totally over.
2092
01:26:47,384 --> 01:26:48,406
Yeah.
2093
01:26:48,480 --> 01:26:50,209
Just gone.
Yeah.
2094
01:26:50,280 --> 01:26:52,169
It's never coming back.
No.
2095
01:26:52,240 --> 01:26:56,643
We'll never not be responsible for
someone until we're so, so old.
2096
01:26:57,480 --> 01:27:00,563
I think I like old people shit
better than young people shit now.
2097
01:27:00,640 --> 01:27:01,801
I love brunch.
2098
01:27:01,960 --> 01:27:03,041
Oh, it's the best!
2099
01:27:03,120 --> 01:27:06,488
And I get really excited when I
smell freshly ground coffee.
2100
01:27:06,560 --> 01:27:07,846
Me, too, because it's awesome.
2101
01:27:07,920 --> 01:27:10,287
Like, way too excited.
2102
01:27:10,360 --> 01:27:12,442
I want a tomato garden.
How's that?
2103
01:27:12,520 --> 01:27:15,729
I love going to The Container
Store and buying containers.
2104
01:27:15,800 --> 01:27:16,881
Me, too.
2105
01:27:17,000 --> 01:27:19,685
I love our hand soap
that's shaped like seashells.
2106
01:27:19,760 --> 01:27:20,886
Why?
2107
01:27:21,000 --> 01:27:22,081
It smells like lemongrass.
2108
01:27:22,160 --> 01:27:23,685
Me, too.
2109
01:27:23,800 --> 01:27:26,041
Do you think
we'll be good parents?
2110
01:27:26,120 --> 01:27:28,964
I think we'll be good
at it and bad at it.
2111
01:27:30,200 --> 01:27:32,487
Whoa!
2112
01:27:33,440 --> 01:27:37,001
You know, when we had Stella, I
was afraid of missing the party,
2113
01:27:37,080 --> 01:27:40,402
but then I realized
that we are the party.
2114
01:27:41,120 --> 01:27:43,088
This is the only party
I want to be at.
2115
01:27:44,720 --> 01:27:46,165
You're gonna make me cry.
2116
01:27:46,280 --> 01:27:47,611
Don't cry.
2117
01:27:51,680 --> 01:27:53,091
Oh, my God.
2118
01:27:54,840 --> 01:27:56,330
Where did you get that?
2119
01:27:57,360 --> 01:27:59,522
I brought it into bed with us.
2120
01:28:01,240 --> 01:28:03,163
I also got some
ranch dipping sauce.
2121
01:28:04,200 --> 01:28:05,884
Oh, my God.
Mmm-hmm.
2122
01:28:05,960 --> 01:28:07,530
That's the best idea.
2123
01:28:07,600 --> 01:28:08,806
Yeah.
2124
01:28:10,000 --> 01:28:11,206
Mmm!
2125
01:28:17,800 --> 01:28:19,370
Welcome
to Abercrombie.
2126
01:28:19,720 --> 01:28:21,643
Come inside. Check out
some board shorts.
2127
01:28:22,200 --> 01:28:23,770
Hey, Mac!
2128
01:28:24,760 --> 01:28:25,807
Hey, dude.
What's up, man?
2129
01:28:25,880 --> 01:28:27,000
What up, man?
How's it going?
2130
01:28:27,040 --> 01:28:28,520
Good to see you.
Good to see you, too.
2131
01:28:28,720 --> 01:28:29,960
You're one of those guys!
2132
01:28:30,040 --> 01:28:31,280
I am, yeah.
Yeah.
2133
01:28:31,360 --> 01:28:33,249
It's a pretty good gig.
Yeah.
2134
01:28:33,320 --> 01:28:35,720
You'd be surprised, I actually
meet a shit-ton of girls here.
2135
01:28:35,744 --> 01:28:36,761
Not that surprised.
2136
01:28:36,840 --> 01:28:38,251
Your body basically
looks like a giant arrow
2137
01:28:38,400 --> 01:28:39,731
pointing right
towards your dick.
2138
01:28:39,800 --> 01:28:41,768
Oh, my God. Thank you.
No problem, man.
2139
01:28:41,840 --> 01:28:43,808
I think that's a compliment.
It is a compliment.
2140
01:28:43,920 --> 01:28:45,126
We went nuts.
2141
01:28:45,240 --> 01:28:46,446
It escalated very quickly.
2142
01:28:46,520 --> 01:28:49,763
It escalated to a really crazy place.
That was really nuts, man.
2143
01:28:50,360 --> 01:28:51,850
How are the guys?
2144
01:28:51,920 --> 01:28:53,920
They're all great. They got
a big house off campus.
2145
01:28:53,944 --> 01:28:56,684
Pete's a fancy architect,
designing buildings and stuff.
2146
01:28:56,760 --> 01:28:59,206
How's the rest of post-college
life treating you?
2147
01:28:59,280 --> 01:29:00,930
It's good, man.
I'm having fun.
2148
01:29:01,000 --> 01:29:03,844
I realize I probably should
have studied a little bit more.
2149
01:29:03,920 --> 01:29:05,251
Little bit.
2150
01:29:05,360 --> 01:29:08,921
But I'm going to night school
to get my degree, so...
2151
01:29:09,000 --> 01:29:10,764
Awesome, man.
Yeah.
2152
01:29:11,680 --> 01:29:13,682
Well, it's still
really good to see you, man.
2153
01:29:13,760 --> 01:29:14,880
Great to see you too, buddy.
2154
01:29:14,920 --> 01:29:16,320
All right, brother.
Good to see you.
2155
01:29:16,439 --> 01:29:17,725
Bring it in for the real thing.
2156
01:29:17,799 --> 01:29:19,608
Nice, okay.
Good to see you, dude.
2157
01:29:19,680 --> 01:29:21,603
You know what?
While I'm here...
2158
01:29:22,560 --> 01:29:24,130
I've always wanted to do this.
2159
01:29:24,480 --> 01:29:27,086
All right. Wow,
you're really going for it.
2160
01:29:27,160 --> 01:29:28,730
I'm doing it.
Oh, man.
2161
01:29:28,840 --> 01:29:32,731
So, is it our posture?
Why do we look so different?
2162
01:29:32,800 --> 01:29:34,040
I don't know, man.
Just be free.
2163
01:29:34,064 --> 01:29:35,405
Just kind of let it out.
Okay.
2164
01:29:35,480 --> 01:29:36,641
I feel free.
2165
01:29:39,720 --> 01:29:42,405
Welcome to Abercrombie & Fitch.
Can we take your order?
2166
01:29:42,520 --> 01:29:43,760
Welcome to Abercrombie & Fitch.
2167
01:29:43,784 --> 01:29:45,842
Abercrombie, Fitch.
2168
01:29:45,920 --> 01:29:47,206
Welcome to Abercrombie & Fitch.
How you doing?
2169
01:29:47,280 --> 01:29:48,520
Can we take your order?
2170
01:29:48,600 --> 01:29:50,045
We're a great team.
Thanks.
2171
01:29:50,120 --> 01:29:51,560
You make the store
more approachable.
2172
01:29:52,120 --> 01:29:53,565
What does that mean?
2173
01:29:54,680 --> 01:29:56,762
It's like, I make...
2174
01:29:56,840 --> 01:29:59,207
I'm a more obtainable goal.
2175
01:29:59,280 --> 01:30:00,960
Yeah, you're like
the relaxed-fit jean guy.
2176
01:30:00,984 --> 01:30:02,668
Yeah.
I'm the relaxed-fit jeans.
2177
01:30:06,680 --> 01:30:08,887
I made some blue meth.
It's Gatorade.
2178
01:30:08,960 --> 01:30:10,086
Oh, perfect! Great.
2179
01:30:10,160 --> 01:30:11,525
She's all ready to go.
2180
01:30:11,600 --> 01:30:13,568
This is gonna be
the best calendar yet.
2181
01:30:13,640 --> 01:30:14,766
Look at that, sweetie.
2182
01:30:14,840 --> 01:30:16,285
All right. Let's do it.
2183
01:30:16,360 --> 01:30:18,283
Who's my little Heisenberg?
You are!
2184
01:30:18,360 --> 01:30:19,486
She's a little meth head.
2185
01:30:19,640 --> 01:30:20,721
No, she just makes it.
2186
01:30:20,800 --> 01:30:22,086
Oh...
2187
01:30:24,360 --> 01:30:26,169
- Hey. Look who it is.
- What's up, dude?
2188
01:30:26,480 --> 01:30:28,050
We're at Burning Man!
2189
01:30:28,160 --> 01:30:29,764
Burning Man!
2190
01:30:29,840 --> 01:30:31,001
Hey!
2191
01:30:31,160 --> 01:30:32,366
You guys should come here.
2192
01:30:32,520 --> 01:30:34,363
Bring Stella! You can bring kids!
Bring Stella!
2193
01:30:34,520 --> 01:30:36,761
No. No, we're making
a Stella calendar.
2194
01:30:36,840 --> 01:30:38,000
Yeah, we got six months left.
2195
01:30:38,040 --> 01:30:39,480
She's Heisenberg.
She's Walter White.
2196
01:30:39,504 --> 01:30:41,202
See'?
You're such a lame-o!
2197
01:30:41,320 --> 01:30:43,243
Don't be so fucking lame!
Totally lame.
2198
01:30:43,320 --> 01:30:44,321
It's awesome!
2199
01:30:44,400 --> 01:30:45,765
It only gets better and better!
2200
01:30:45,880 --> 01:30:49,089
I feel completely comfortable
missing that party. Okay.
2201
01:30:49,600 --> 01:30:51,284
- We gotta go, okay?
- We gotta go.
2202
01:30:51,360 --> 01:30:54,011
Yeah, have a good one.
Try not to die.
2203
01:30:54,080 --> 01:30:55,366
What should we do next?
2204
01:30:55,440 --> 01:30:57,000
- Don Draper. Yeah.
- Yeah, Don Draper.
2205
01:30:57,040 --> 01:30:58,724
Let's get the leading
men out of the way.
2206
01:30:59,760 --> 01:31:01,364
I love you.
I love you.
2207
01:31:02,560 --> 01:31:04,005
We love you.
We love you.
2208
01:31:04,080 --> 01:31:05,764
Little Walter White.
Baby.
2209
01:36:35,800 --> 01:36:38,804
Sof hamisschak.
It means "game over."
2209
01:36:39,305 --> 01:36:45,709
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