Original subtitles

I don't care, Arnold. I don't care.Just go!

When you get to Minnesota, tell them what a big deal you are!

Tell them how you don't listen to anyone...

'cause you've got it all figured out!

"Sylvia, this is our future."

"Sylvia, anything you want. Sylvia-"

Guess what, Arnie. I don't want it.

You have nothing to say?

You're not taking care of me! You're taking care of you!

Good! Leave!

Don't forget to take some money!

Ted.

First day of school. You nervous?

What do you think?

It seems silly to ask, but do you know where you're going?

I'll just follow you.

- Hello, everyone. - Hey!

Stan, Ginsberg, Ted Chaough.

This is Margie. Margie, Peggy. Margie, Ted.

It's nice to put faces with names.

I saw you taking your little tour the other week, and you looked pretty tall.

But now I see you're about my height.

I hope you can still look up to me.

- That was quick. - Pleasure, Margie.

I've heard a lot about you. We're all very excited.

Nice knowing you.

John Mathis.

You're in the second office from reception.

Your secretary will be Connie.

You know my name, but I don't know yours.

Excuse me.Joan, are all the creatives in one office?

- It's temporary. - Well, it's going to be very crowded.

But that may change soon.

I know where all the bodies are buried.

- I need a copy of that. - They're just notes.

I need a copy for Mr. Chaough. He's not going to change anything...

but he's going to be angry if I don't know what it is.

Good morning, Moira.

- Joan. - Good morning.

- Well, hello there. - Hello.

- I'm sorry they didn't have your office ready yet. - I'll make do.

You know what, Moira? I'll take care of Miss Olson.

Hopefully you can read my handwriting.

We're putting you in Harry's old office.

- But you don't have to share it. - As long as I don't have to share Phyllis.

- Are you okay? - I don't know.

It could be moving boxes, or it could be I slept funny.

Are you still in there?

Yes, everything keeps changing out here...

but everything's the same in there.

- Except you're a partner. - And you're the copy chief.

- How's your little boy? - He's the man in my life.

- How's yours? - Oh, he's good.

We bought a building together to live in.

We bought a building to live in together.

- I'm glad you're here. - Well, I'm glad you're here.

"In addition to the dynamic press reception...

and renewed interest from Wall Street...

the union of these two agencies has already brought us victory.

Our congratulations to Mr. Chaough...

and Mr. Gleason for their recent victory at the Clio Awards...

for the one-minute television commercial 'Little Headaches'...

on behalf of St.Joseph's Children's 'Aspirine.'

In closing..."

Well, that's a beautiful message to read to our employees...

but perhaps it's best to wait until we've made all of the personnel changes.

And you need an ending.

We have a lot of writers out there.

I'm sorry. Someone commandeered Clara.

I need a seat.

Don took the last one. That means you were here after Don.

Can you see if there's another chair?

Or you could have my seat.

Yes, thank you.

Moira, take my chair.

Now that we've dispensed with the gallantry...

Jim Cutler and I have, we believe, harvested the gold dusting of the Clios...

by arranging for an advanced introduction to Fleischmann's Margarine.

They want to be Ted and Don's first love child.

That's new business.

Isn't there a section of this meeting called good news?

I never would have taken you for such a stickler.

Fleischmann's? Groovy. We'll get right on that.

Regarding ongoing business...

the following is a list of current accounts in ascending order.

That means smallest to largest...

Chevrolet being excluded for a separate meeting.

Topaz Pantyhose.

Ken Cosgrove and Burt Peterson. And they're thrilled.

- Leica Camera. - Roger and I might have to go to Germany.

But that's only because we invited ourselves.

The New York State Thruway.

I just got off the phone with Henry Lammott at Mohawk Airlines-

- Mohawk's on the next page. - This is related to the Thruway.

Henry Lammott considers it a conflict...

car travel and air travel being mortal enemies.

So when Burt Peterson gets ahold of them, we should resign.

Did you tell Lammott that was a stretch?

It's a $250,000 media budget.

Mohawk is an airline.

Except, Ted, the client is New York State...

and they gave us their media buy up front.

- And you already spent it. - Why didn't you tell us that?

Why didn't you tell us you lost Vicks for yourself and Clearasil for us?

- Why didn't you tell us Frank Gleason was dying? - Frank's going to be fine.

I know Henry Lammott.

Pete and I will fly up there.

- And Ted. - Of course.

- What kind of plane do you have? - A Mohawk plane.

Ted's a pilot.

I'll take us up there. We can land right outside his office.

- Even better. - I'm sorry to interrupt.

Mr. Campbell, there's an urgent phone call for you.

However we're going...

I recommend we go up tomorrow.

What's the next client?

Koss Headphones.

Burt Peterson and Ken Cosgrove.

They sent Burt Peterson a case of champagne.

- Billy? - Mr. Campbell...

I didn't want to trouble you, but she was-

Yeah. She's right here. You want to talk to her?

What happened exactly?

Well, she was banging on the door pretty hard saying she needed to see your father.

I thought somebody was gonna call a cop.

May I speak with her?

Bill, you've been so decent. I hate to ask you another favor...

but could you get her a "G" and "T" with two ice cubes?

- Gin and tonic? - Yes, if you don't mind.

I don't know what's going on...

but I found this address on my nightstand...

in some woman's handwriting...

and I assumed your father was up to his old tricks.

Mother, he passed away.

You'd like that. No.

He hasn't been home for over a week, and his golf clubs are still at the house.

- Mother, you sound confused. - What are you implying?

I want you to relax, watch the television, and I will call Bud to come and get you!

He's going to send that girl Trudy.

Bud's wife is Judy, not Trudy.

Now I suppose I'm crazy for mixing those up.

Tell Billy you're fine on your own.

I am.

Hello there.

Nice to see you, Peggy.

Burt.

We're a long way from Sterling Cooper.

Looks like the worm has turned.

Well, it's nice to have the old team back together.

Do you want me to get that?

- Hello. - Oh, I was expecting a secretary.

There isn't one on the line, is there?

Hold on.

I've got to take this.

Well, we'll have plenty of time to catch up on those flights to Detroit.

He's still a cold fish.

Hello.

Come over here now.

I can't.

I have too much going on in the office.

I need you...

and nothing else will do.

So?

12! 30 at the Sherry-Netherland.

Call me with the room number.

Come on in, Burt.

- Have a seat. - What is this, a bed?

Yeah. You might want to lie down, because here we are again.

Well, I haven't forgotten anything.

Not a damn thing.

A lot of times in life you get to do something...

and you don't realize until it's over how much you enjoyed it.

And you swear that the next time it comes around...

you're gonna remember that.

You're right. And I think I can work with you too.

Work?

No, Burt, I'm letting you go again.

What the hell? You can't do that.

Probably doesn't make a difference at this point, but no one fought for you.

We'll see what the folks at Chevy have to say about this.

Remember Ken Cosgrove?

Like a six-foot version of Alan Ladd?

He's touring the plant right now.

You bastard.

I've got four million in billings.

- What have you got? - I was thinking you would feel that way.

That you had more clients, and that gives you a voice.

I was imagining you talking over me in meetings.

Now I don't have that problem.

My clients will leave with me!

No one will ever say you weren't funny, Burt.

Well, I'll tell you one thing. I'm expecting some kind of severance.

Who knows? We're really hurting.

We're having to cut back. Well, obviously.

God, you're a real prick. You know that?

Damn it, Burt, you stole my good-bye.

Oh, hello. You must be Burt Peterson.

I'm Bob Benson. I'm supposed to report to you.

Well, as a first order of business...

I recommend that you stick your head between your legs and kiss your ass good-bye.

What did you say to me?

Come see me?

No.

I need you...

and nothing else will do.

You worked on the Daisy?

No, I worked on the K.K.K. spot.

You probably heard about it. It was too hot to run.

- That's very impressive. - Thank you.

I mean, you made it 15 minutes before you brought it up.

I just spoke with Dawn.

Black or white?

She wouldn't tell me anything.

She's an excellent secretary.

I'm sure he can catch up.

So before we inundate ourselves...

with Fleischmann's unique benefits and previous work...

I want to- I don't know- have a little rap session about margarine in general.

You mean like in terms of the prospect?

Just whatever's on your mind. Free-associate.

My grandmother.

Yeah.

- Yellow. - Yes.

Greasy.

It's not butter. It's cheap. It has no smell.

Yeah, man. Keep going.

- People hate it. - Hold on a second. Who hates margarine?

- You said there were no wrong answers. - I didn't say that.

I don't hate it.

It was invented for Napoleon III...

because armies need to move, and it never spoiled.

That's fantastic.

- How did you know that? - I don't know. I just did.

Let's get down 10 uses for margarine.

French army is number one.

And, of course, I was upset...

because I was waiting for Mitchell to call.

Then Arnie tells me to cut the apron strings.

All of France is on fire.

I don't even know if the phones are working.

There's no room for me to worry about anyone but Arnold...

not even our son.

You can talk about your kid...

but I don't want to hear about your husband.

I can talk about whatever I want.

Can you help me look for my shoes while you do it?

You want me to look for your shoes?

I want you to crawl on your hands and knees until you find them.

They're right over there.

Do it.

I want you to get undressed, then get back into bed.

Come over here.

Don't go anywhere.

I'm hearing a lot about bread.

It spreads easy because it's soft.

Really melts into the-

What did he just say?

Don. There you are.

Sorry about that. I got held up.

Let's not push too hard today.

- What'd I miss? - We got some good ideas...

and I think we're ready for a more traditional approach-

research, et cetera- later in the week.

Great. Peggy, you set the meeting.

What was that?

What? You called the meeting to a close.

You also had it without me.

If the meeting's at 1! 00, the meeting's at 1! 00.

Don, five minutes, 10 minutes-

I've been working in creative my whole life. It's fine.

40 minutes? Come on.

I've got better things to do...

but obviously you did too.

Hello.

Are you still in bed?

Are you on your way?

You're going to wait there...

and you're not going to know when I'm coming back.

What's gotten into you?

Don't answer the phone again.

- Yes? - Mr. Draper is here to see you.

Send him in.

- Am I bothering you? - What is that?

An olive branch.

I was just thinking that it's probably best...

if we talk about margarine by ourselves.

Sorry. I don't know what you drink.

Whatever there is.

Of course, everything's packed away.

I would have opened that first. Might have clients coming in.

I have something better for the clients- this bar cart wheeled in.

- How is that better? - You should see the girl who wheels it in.

It's quite a presentation.

If you don't want to drink, you don't have to drink.

So, you want to show me your notes from the meeting?

It took 40 minutes to figure out no one knows shit about margarine.

May I?

Is this gonna be Detroit again? You're gonna lie down on the couch while I pace?

I'll lie down after we have our next one.

Let's get something on paper first.

- Where is she? - Well, she spent 25 minutes...

looking for a dish for the nuts and then she went into the bathroom.

- Good luck. - Where are you going?

She's using the ladies' room. She's been doing it for years.

- No, take her home. - My home?

- That's not an option. - That is the only option.

Do you have any idea what's going on in my office?

We're in the middle of a merger, in case you didn't get past the sports section.

I'm supposed to suddenly care...

after you went to White Weld to underwrite your public offering?

I caught a shovelful for that, Pete.

I got to pretend to my partners that you don't believe in nepotism.

I apologize that you didn't get on that sinking ship.

You just ride out this merger, and in six months I'm your first call.

You don't understand. I went to a meeting this morning and there was no chair for me.

You're as high-strung as her.

First you don't have a chair, then you don't have any clients.

- Mother, it's time to go. - Don't do that yet.

Just get your thoughts together.

- You have a long drive home. - She has an apartment.

Even the cleaning woman quit.

Mother's cut all ties. The whole place smells like a rabbit warren.

Judy and I have taken our turn. Now it's yours.

No, that is not going to work.

Judy is finished with her.

They got in a dispute about Earl Grey or Major Grey...

and Mother snapped her with a tea towel across the face.

- She should be locked up. - Maybe we can get the paperwork started.

In the meantime, buy Trudy a catcher's mask...

and be happy that you get to go to work every day.

I know why he's late for everything.

Because we've put up with it.

I mean, honestly, is Peter any busier than you are?

Mother, I'm Peter.

Do you want to go to the Colony? That's a splendid idea.

No, I have some soup.

Just take me home.

You're spending the night here. You can have the bed.

I never sleep.

And you should be well rested.

Could you freshen this?

So Blue Bonnet is the girl in pigtails?

Mary Ann.

Gilligan's Island always works.

Every brand is represented.

So Fleischmann's is the Marilyn Monroe redhead?

I don't know who's Ginger.

Probably Parkay.

Then you've got Thurston Howell-

Imperial with the crown.

I think the one that's wide open is the Professor.

- Facts and figures, health benefits. - Some kind of formula.

They're all made differently, even if it's just location.

No, I find it interesting that you've broken this down into a formula.

There's a lot of bridges to Manhattan.

You don't have any tricks for when you're stuck other than-

Are we stuck already?

Let's take the competition to a broader level.

Let's say there are more margarines than characters on your TV show.

They all have something in common.

They all want off the island.

No, they're all not butter. No one prefers margarine.

I have to eat something.

Doesn't ice count?

I'd settle for some more toast.

It's morning.

We know because we see the rooster crow.

A farmer's wife sets pancakes on the kitchen table.

She puts a pat of margarine on top...

and sets the dish down next to the yellowest fried eggs...

a loaf of homemade bread...

and a beading pitcher of heavy cream.

Syrup pours.

A smile comes over their Dorothea Lange faces.

Two things- cows, because she's a dairy farmer's wife...

and I want bacon.

It's not up for debate.

Just a minute.

I said, "Just a minute."

I thought you said, "Come in."

I got everyone's paperwork. I just wanted to drop them off.

You look a little wan.

I think I have food poisoning.

Do you want some ice water?

God!

Do you have your appendix?

- It's the other side. - You can't stay here.

And I can't leave either.

Just walk with me, and I'll bother you all the way out.

No one will know.

So I get the laxative people into the booth...

and I record three or four spots at one time.

Who talked Topaz into television?

I did, but then Margie took it over.

The client still calls me Peggy.

Everybody, everybody.

I'm taking a survey.

It's Eugene McCarthy versus Bobby Kennedy.

How many for Kennedy?

Show of hands.

But Humphrey has all the delegates.

- I'm voting for Nixon. - Oh, I knew it, Mathis.

What's wrong with you? Don't you have any hope?

I'm for Bobby.

Well, I-Ted?

You okay?

Why don't you call it a day? Come on.

- What about him? - Let him sleep it off.

- Ted, come on. - I'm fine.

Drink that.

- Is that urine? - It's the pipes.

The babysitter's agreed to stay...

but no word from your mother, so I'm not leaving.

She's probably still in the Catskills.

Remember Rip Van Winkle?

You like that story?

I know it. I could tell it to you.

No, you should go.

Who knows what 20 years will do to this place?

I have no place to go.

...please call the pharmacy.

Please call the pharmacy.

What's gonna happen to Kevin?

He'll either end up with my mother or Greg's parents.

It's just food poisoning.

No, that's not what it is.

Come on. Let's go.

I've got you.

Excuse me, Nurse... Finnegan.

I see how busy you are, but can I trouble you a moment?

Doctors will see you the moment they can.

No, it's not about that.

It's just, well, I'm such a fool...

and I suppose I was trying to be a gentleman.

- But my friend here, she- - Don't.

We don't need to see a doctor.

I'm sure it's something that would be covered by your medical expertise.

What are you talking about?

She's a little embarrassed...

but she drank furniture polish.

Honey, why'd you do that?

She wasn't wearing her glasses.

You do need to see a doctor. Why didn't you tell me that?

I'm sorry. I really never know what to do.

- I thought I'd just leave it up to you. - Okay, sweetheart. Ramirez.

Take her to bed four.

...please report to Radiology.

She'll be fine.

You look perfect.

Well, I had three hours to get ready.

I don't know if the shoes go.

They do.

Where are we going?

We're not going anywhere.

Are you kidding me?

Why would you think you're going anywhere?

You are for me.

You exist in this room for my pleasure.

Are we going to eat?

Don't ask any more questions.

Take off your dress.

Take off everything for me.

Like that?

I think you look worse than I do.

Well, I slept on the floor of my office.

They didn't give you a couch?

I couldn't find it. Draper knocked me out.

Not literally.

Well, I'm sure there's a lot of work to do.

It's got nothing to do with work.

He seems more interested in me than he is in the work.

But you're not very interesting.

He doesn't know that.

What's he like?

He's mysterious.

But I can't tell if he's putting it on.

He doesn't talk for long stretches, and then he's incredibly eloquent.

Well, he's very successful.

You didn't think he was charmless, did you?

You learned to work with me.

And look at you.

If I wait patiently by the river, the body of my enemy will float by.

Such a waste of energy.

Give him the early rounds. He'll tire himself out.

Go home, shower...

walk back in there like you own half the place.

I'll be back at dinnertime.

- Because you live here. - No, I don't.

There's a hamper full of laundry and a razor in the sink.

Is Trudy finished with you?

This is our pied-à-terre.

Does your father bring prostitutes here or is it just for yours?

I want to be taken home.

Your apartment's been overrun with vermin.

They're spraying all day.

I didn't remember that. I want to get my things.

It's raining very hard out, and it's, well-

It's St. Patrick's Day.

- It's May. - No, it's not.

And who knows what's out there?

I'll have the cook make your favorite for dinner.

- Morning. - You look fresh.

Where's my secretary?

Or is this how they do it at CGC? Just let yourself in?

I didn't want to wait out there because this whole visit is confidential.

You want to quit already?

When you told me about the merger, I hoped he would rub off on you...

not the other way around.

He's getting everything he wants...

and obviously you're on his side.

Why did you do it at all if there are sides?

You could have just tried to hire me back.

You never even asked me to lunch.

Yes, Peggy, we risked our entire company...

just so I could have you in this office complaining again.

Well, he can't drink like you.

And you must know that because nobody can.

- Peggy, he's a grown man. - So are you.

Move forward.

You're going to be fine.

With Burt Peterson gone, Kenny in Detroit, everything's going to fall in your in-box.

What about Cutler?

What about every time there's a change around here...

I get knocked down to a worse office?

Come in, Scarlett.

Mr. Campbell, I'm sorry to interrupt, but you're needed on the phone.

What now, Clara?

- Is she injured? - No, but there's been a fire.

Call Henry at Mohawk. See if he can meet tomorrow.

I have no idea how long this will take.

Trudy?

I don't know what it is.

I just don't want to think about anything.

Who told you you were allowed to think?

So, what do I do now?

You fall asleep the minute I close that door.

I'm flying upstate...

and when I come back, I want you ready for me.

I can do that standing on my head.

And I'm taking this.

Really? Come on.

I'm taking it.

Something's come up. Do you have a minute for Clara?

- Pete Campbell's secretary. - Certainly.

Mr. Campbell had an emergency and Mr. Draper is out...

so I wanted to make sure you knew...

that we were rescheduling this afternoon's meeting with Mohawk.

Absolutely not! What the hell is going on around here?

- Ready to go? - I am...

but apparently Pete Campbell wants to move it.

We can't cancel the meeting to show a client how important he is. When can he go?

It doesn't matter. We should go up there right away.

It's raining pretty hard. We can wait a couple hours.

Don't worry about that. Once we're above the clouds, it's sunny as summer.

- How long have you been doing this? - Not now.

There we go.

You can relax now. We're leveled off.

I am relaxed.

Sometimes when you're flying...

you think you're right side up, but you're really upside down.

Really?

Got to watch your instruments.

You don't want to take in the wonder of God's majesty?

I like to read on planes. I don't like to talk.

But you're gonna talk to Henry Lammott.

I mean, you're the one that knows him.

Does it matter?

No matter what I say...

you're the guy who flew us up here in his own plane.

I guess that's true.

I don't know if Joanie's awake.

I really don't need to see her.

You can just give Kevin my gift.

Hello.

I really wasn't planning on dropping in.

I just wanted to see if you were feeling better.

The hospital wouldn't tell me anything because I'm not immediate family.

He's two years old. He'll play with the bow.

Sit down. Have a snack.

No, that's all. Don't want to be away from the office too long.

Although I left my overcoat on my chair, so they know I'm there.

Well, it's nice meeting you.

He's adorable.

He's too young.

I can tell you from experience...

that younger men are not intimidated by powerful women.

- He's not interested. - He saved your life.

It was just a cyst on my ovary.

I would have been fine. He's worrying about his job.

Well, why wouldn't he?

It doesn't take away what he did.

Honestly, Joan, every good deed is not part of a plan.

She left the teakettle on. It was mostly smoke.

Can you get Henry Lammott on the phone?

I will, but Mr. Lammott already called for you.

Don and Ted thought it was best not to wait.

Really? They went without me?

Yes. Apparently it went very well.

Damn it, Clara. They went without me.

Therefore, it did not go very well.

You do understand that your employment here is tied to me?

And if things happen without me, they'll eventually happen without you!

Don't feel bad that you were taking care of your mother.

My mother can go to hell.

Ted Chaough can fly her there.

Do you want me to get Mr. Lammott on the phone?

Can you give me a minute?

I'm here.

Where are you going?

- I think it's time to go home. - Not yet.

I think this is over.

It's over when I say it's over.

I had a dream that you crashed in that plane.

But I'm back.

I dreamt I went to your funeral, and Megan cried on my shoulder.

Stop it.

And then I went back to Arnold...

and I made love to him...

and I said, "I've been away, but I'm home."

It means you missed me.

No.

It means it's time to really go home.

This is over, and not just this.

It's easy to give up something when you're satisfied.

It's easy to give up something when you're ashamed.

Please.

Let's go.

Burt Peterson's gone.

That leaves me, Jim Torkelson and Lawrence Harris.

You've got Roger, Pete, Ken and Bob Benson.

But you've got your creatives- Peggy, Cecil and Beanie.

We lost Margie Koch and Steve Hagan.

I don't know who Peggy counts for, but we need Bob.

Bob's got to go. Last hired, first fired.

Very well.

But before I cross him off, let me remind you...

that Bob has been very involved in Ken's accounts...

and with Ken servicing Detroit, I don't know how long it'll take Lawrence to catch up.

Fine. Lawrence is gone. Are we done here?

The secretarial staff?

And instead of being afraid...

I realized I should just ask for a couple of weeks off.

They write people out all the time.

Or I could shoot in advance and maybe we could go to Honolulu again.

This time without business.

I just thought it would be fun to go on a trip...

the two of us for a bit without the kids.

Peter.

- They shot that poor Kennedy boy. - That was years ago, Mother.

I just saw it on the television.

- It's 6! 00 a.m. - You'll be late for school.

Please just let me sleep.

I don't understand what's going on.

They're shooting everybody.

Senator Kennedy then going off into the kitchen area...

to retire to his room for the evening...

or at least for the next hour or so...

the crowd spreading around him, shaking hands...

clapping him on the back.

Then some shots ring out.

CBS News cameraman James Wilson filming this.

And the next picture you see is that of Senator Kennedy lying on the floor...

the crowd around him screaming, unbelieving that such a thing could happen.

A score of hands beneath his back...

beneath his head, trying to talk to him.

At this time it was understood that Senator Kennedy was conscious...

although it was not understood if he said anything at all.

Senator Kennedy now at Good Samaritan Hospital in Los Angeles...

alive, we are understood, his heart beating.