Original subtitles

♪ Hiya boys got your guns? Get 'em loaded ♪

♪ And let's start the evening with a bang ♪

♪ Whatcha know? Even though we've exploded ♪

♪ We're ready for another bang

♪ From California to the Rio Grande ♪

♪ A gal should keep her ammunition handy ♪

♪ In the West in the wide open spaces ♪

♪ Nobody ever gives a dang

♪ We just root and toot and shoot and trouble can go hang ♪

♪ Come on in this must be where the place is ♪

♪ Let's start the evening with a bang ♪

Now simmer it down and I'll give you a treat

by telling a tale of Tenderfoot Pete,

who came to this neck of the woods from the East

not a-ridin' a horse but astride of a beast.

After ridin' so far, he admitted defeat.

Oh, he was tender, alright,

but not in the feet.

With his Stetson and boots and gun belt and vest,

he really appeared like a man of the West.

This dude brought his gun.

It was really a brute.

There was just one thing wrong.

The gun wouldn't shoot.

You know what they said as they buried the coot?

"Just don't aim your guns if your guns will not shoot."

Yeah!

♪ Come on boys get your guns get 'em loaded ♪

♪ Don't shoot no blanks you'll bite the dust ♪

♪ Take that gent ain't his manners corroded? ♪

♪ Hats off to ladies is a must

♪ A lady is a lady do not trifle ♪

♪ Especially if she has a gun or rifle ♪

♪ In the West in the wide open spaces ♪

♪ Nobody ever gives a dang

♪ We just root and toot and shoot and trouble can go hang ♪

♪ Come on in this is just where the place is ♪

♪ Let's start the evening with a bang ♪♪

Pair of eights high.

Cost you 500.

Five hundred, huh?

I'll just bump that 500.

Well, I'll have to see you.

Dealer: Last card coming out.

Queen. Pair of aces.

Give up?

Make your bet.

Well, Decker, you sure are a hog for punishment.

- How's everybody doing? - Not bad, Brandy. Not bad.

Looks like I might own the joint 'fore the night's over.

That's fine. Maybe I can get a raise, huh?

Yeah, you bet you can. You bet you can.

I think I need that rabbit's foot of yours.

Oh, it's that bad. Well, here.

Skinner: He's gonna need more than that

'fore I get through with him.

- Maybe you need a drink. - No.

I don't want a drink, but I could use some coffee.

- Anybody else? - No, thank you.

I'll take some.

So you don't think my aces got you beat, huh?

Decker: It's your bet.

Well, there's a thousand says they have.

You think that's enough?

Well, doggone your ornery hide.

I'll just bet you 5000 on top of that.

Well, that's fine, Henry,

but I, I don't see any more money

and there's no jawbone in this game.

Well, who said anything about jawbone?

How much will you put up against my ranch?

Look, you don't wanna bet your ranch, Henry.

I'll just call the thousand.

Oh, no, no, you ain't gonna get off that easy.

You asked for it. How much against the ranch?

If that's the way you want it.

- I'll go 5000. - You've got yourself a bet.

- What you got? - Now wait a minute.

Just put the bet down on a piece of paper.

There you are. My ranch against 5000 cash.

- Oh! - You burned me!

- That's hot! - I'm sorry.

Skinner: Oh, it's alright. Brandy: Let me wipe it off.

I must have tripped over something.

Don't worry about it, huh?

I'm terribly, terribly sorry.

Forget it. Let's play poker.

You callin' my bet or ain't you?

I said I'd call.

Three shinin' aces.

Where?

I only see two.

I had an ace in the hole.

How'd that deuce get there?

Maybe you only thought you had an ace.

Looks like that makes my two pair good.

Wait a minute! Get your hands off that pot.

Henry, you were bluffing and you were called.

Now why don't you take it like a man?

Somebody switched that card on me.

You bunch of crooks! All of you!

I'd take it easy if I were you.

You think I'm gonna let you cheat me out of everything

I got in the world? You think I'm crazy?

Dummy, you and the Professor take him outside

and cool him off.

Nice work, honey.

That rabbit's foot never fails.

Well, that does it.

We got a solid strip of land clear across the valley now.

Now that you've got it, what are you gonna do with it?

Fence it off, charge four bits a head

for every steer that's driven across.

Hm, with all of them Texas cattle comin' through,

that ought to run into quite a little dough.

Decker: A hundred and fifty, two hundred thousand a year.

I know what it is I like about you.

- What? - You're so good at arithmetic.

A hundred and fifty thousand. I could afford to get married.

I could afford not to.

Well, I'd better be getting downstairs.

Now there's just one thing you gotta learn, baby.

You've got to keep those pretty fingers out of the till.

You can't blame a poor girl for trying.

- But you never quit. - That's right.

Bailey: Hold on, Skinner!

Where you goin' with that rifle?

I'm gonna kill that dirty skunk Decker.

He sucked me into bettin' my ranch.

Then he switched my hole card on me.

You ain't killin' nobody, Henry.

Give me that rifle, sheriff. He can't get by with this.

You-- You better leave that up to me.

They won't get your ranch, don't you worry about that.

Now go on home before you get yourself killed.

I ain't askin' you, Henry. I'm tellin' you.

Now go on home.

- What's the trouble, sheriff? - No trouble.

Ah, no, something's up. I can tell by the way you're walkin'.

When Tom Destry walked like that,

he was heading for trouble. You want any help?

I'll holler if I do, Rags.

I used to be a fast man with a gun.

When I was Destry's deputy,

them gunslingers didn't dare come to town.

Looking for somebody, sheriff?

Just wanna find out what Decker's running up there.

A poker game or a land grab.

Why don't you be a smart sheriff and buy me a drink instead?

If I were smart, Brandy, I wouldn't be a sheriff.

Brandy, Brandy, they won't believe me!

I was Destry's deputy, wasn't I?

- Sure, you were. - Ah, there, you see?

I ought to know, I was the other deputy.

Well, come in, sheriff.

Come in. Have a drink.

Thanks, I only drink with friends.

Any reason we can't be friends?

I could name one.

Alright, suppose you tell me.

Might be something we could do about it.

- There is. - What's that?

Give Henry Skinner's ranch back to him.

Why should I? I won it.

That's not what Henry says.

What does Henry say?

He says you switched cards on him.

Well, there you are.

Henry never was a very good loser.

I told him not to bet, but he wouldn't listen.

You called the bet, didn't you?

Certainly. What was I supposed to do? Fold the winning hand?

I had a lot of money in that pot.

I didn't figure you'd steal it from him for nothing.

I don't think I like that word.

You give me a better one. I'll use it.

Now, look, I won that land on the level,

but just to save any misunderstanding,

I'm willing to give it back. Will that make you happy?

Reasonably so.

Here's the paper he signed.

- Mind if I tear this up? - Yeah.

I'd rather you gave it to Henry.

Maybe it will teach him to stay out of poker games

he can't afford.

That's fair enough.

You don't suppose I've been wrong about you all this time.

A first impression, sheriff.

Yeah.

Alright, boys. Let's liven up this crowd.

♪ You can't fool a man by wearing a bustle ♪

♪ Take it off or shake it off with wiggles of the can-can ♪

♪ You can't fool a man by faking a muscle ♪

♪ You'll begin to be a winner if you can can-can ♪

♪ You'll get the eye as you go dancing by ♪

♪ So swing it low and swing it high ♪

♪ And you must try as you go prancing by ♪

♪ To swing your skirt a bit high high higher ♪

♪ You will get your man without any tussle ♪

♪ He will give in you'll be livin' following this plan ♪

♪ You will get your man if you can can can-can ♪

♪ You can't fool a man by wearing a bustle ♪

♪ Take it off or shake it off with wiggles of the can-can ♪

♪ You can't fool a man by faking a muscle ♪

♪ You'll begin to be a winner if you can can-can ♪

♪ You'll get the eye as you go dancing by ♪

♪ So swing it low and swing it high ♪

♪ And you must try as you go prancing by ♪

♪ To swing you skirt a bit high high higher ♪

All: Higher! Higher! Higher!

Higher!

♪ You will get your man without any tussle ♪

♪ He will give in you'll be livin' following this plan ♪

♪ You will get your man

♪ I will get my man

♪ You will get your man

♪ If you can can can can can can can-can ♪♪

Quiet, everybody!

- John, stop it! No, no, don't! Decker: Shut up! Shut up!

The mayor of our town has an important announcement to make.

The Honorable Hiram J. Sellers.

Man 1: Hiya, mayor!

Friends, feller citizens...

as the poet says,

"Life is real.

Life is earnest.

And the goal is but the grave."

Or words to that effect.

It is my sorrowful duty to inform you

that one of our fellow townsmen has just made the goal.

Our esteemed sheriff, Joseph Bailey,

is no longer with us.

In the absence of other officials

and in the interest of law and order

and in accordance with ordinance number

eight thousand, uh, six, five, four,

I must appoint a temporary successor.

I have considered this matter seriously

and sought the advice of prominent citizens.

I have decided to appoint a sheriff,

a man who is not without experience as a peace officer,

a man you all love and respect.

Mister, uh...

- What's his name again? - Reginald.

Reginald T. Barnaby.

He means Rags.

Man 2: Wonder what the T stands for.

Man 3: Must mean Thirsty.

Man 4: Hurray for the new sheriff!

Rags: Yay!

Uh, w-- what are we cheering for?

It's for you, Rags. You're the new sheriff.

Hurray... I'm what?

That's right, sheriff. Congratulations.

Mayor!

As the mayor of this municipality,

I here and now pronounce you sheriff.

Drinks on the house. Everybody!

Huh? What?

Brandy?

Brandy, are they playin' another of them jokes on me?

No, Rags, it's no joke. You're really the sheriff.

Huh?

Here you are, boys. Here's to law and order

and a long life to our new sheriff.

All: Hurray!

You're not drinkin', sheriff.

What's the matter? You feelin' faint?

I ain't gonna drink no more.

Not if I'm really gonna be sheriff.

A man's gotta choose between the bottle and the badge.

Go on! Laugh!

But I ain't gonna make a mockery of law and order.

From now on, the law's gonna be respected in this town.

You see? We got a strong man in the saddle.

A man of character.

I'm with you, sheriff.

If you need any help, I'll be your deputy.

I've already got somebody in mind to be my deputy.

- Oh. - A fellow named Destry.

Destry?

Oh, Rags. Destry's been dead for years.

Sounds like the right man for the job.

It's Destry's son I'm talkin' about.

Young Tom cleaned up Silver Creek

and that's a lot rougher town than this.

Oh, he ain't got much of a name yet,

but the last time I saw him,

his dad was raising him

to be the toughest fightin' man that ever wore a star.

That's what this town needs

and that's just what this town's gonna get.

Hey, sheriff!

- Huh? - The stage is comin'.

- Oh-oh! - It's up on the ridge now.

Oh, oh, oh, oh!

Oh-oh! Here, here.

You take these and lock up.

Bessie Mae! Bessie Mae!

Bessie Mae!

- Are you callin' me? - The stage is comin'.

- Is Destry's room ready? - My rooms is always ready.

Just wanted to make sure.

Bessie: Have you seen doc any place?

No! Ain't seen him all day.

I sent him to the post office an hour ago

to pick up a new hat I ordered clear from St. Louis.

Well, I ain't got time to hear it! The stage is comin'.

Bessie: Well, that's what I'm sayin'.

If you see him any place, tell him he'd better be

at the station to help me with the baggage.

And if he's over at the saloon

gamblin' with that woman again...

Oh.

Thirty bucks, doc.

I call. I'll play light.

No, you won't. Either cash or fold.

Hey! Hey, folks! Hey, everybody!

The coach is comin' in. Destry will be here any minute!

Uh, oh, doc, you better get out of here.

Bessie Mae is lookin' for you.

She wants you at the coach stop

to help her with the baggage.

Mac: Yeah, let's take a look at this Destry.

- Right. - Comin', Brandy?

No, I saw a stagecoach once.

- I'll be right back. - I won't be here.

Aren't you gonna give me a chance to get even?

Sure. Right now.

But if I don't meet that coach, Bessie Mae will skin me alive.

She'll skin you alive, anyway.

Go on and bet. You've probably got me beat.

I have. Uh...

- There. - What's that?

- It's my personal IOU. - Oh, no.

- Oh, Brandy, Brandy! - What's in the box?

Uh, Bessie Mae's new hat.

I'm a gambler.

Thirty bucks against the hat. Sight unseen.

You don't think I'd bet Bessie Mae's new hat, do you?

- Yeah, I think so. - I resent that.

Well, uh, uh, on the other hand,

uh, Bessie Mae wouldn't want me to throw away the winning hand,

do you think?

Man 5: Whoa!

That's him. Destry's in there, folks.

Rags: There he is!

Look at him! 6'4" of bone and muscle.

Man 5: Here you are, mister.

Take it easy with that luggage.

We ain't got time. Here.

Whoopie! What'd I tell you?

That boy's a wild cat.

Tom! Tom, my boy. Am I glad to see you.

We'll show 'em, won't we, huh?

Look, mister. My name is Jack Larson.

- You ain't Tom Destry? Tom: Destry?

- Oh, that-- that's me. - There he is.

You're Tom Destry?

You know, folks are always asking me that.

- How are you, Rags? - Oh.

Are you sure you're Tom Destry?

Well, I'm reasonably sure.

He sure is a wildcat, ain't he?

Will you get rid of those blasted things?

Well, here. Here, miss, you take 'em.

Take 'em away, please.

I'm Bessie Mae Curtis.

I've got a nice room all ready for you,

Mr. Destry and Mrs. Destry.

- Oh, we're not married. - Oh! Oh, I'm sorry.

There's no need to be sorry, ma'am.

May not be a bad idea. Excuse me.

Tom: Miss Phillips, if you'll tell me where you're staying,

I'll be glad to take care of your luggage for you.

Well, the only trouble is I don't know where I'm going.

You see, my uncle was supposed to meet me here.

- Oh, well-- - Tom. Tom.

Let's get off the street. I'll take you over--

Just a minute, Rags. Just a minute.

I wanna make sure Miss Phillips is gonna be alright.

Oh, you don't have to bother about me.

I'm sure he'll be along soon.

Well, who is your uncle, dearie?

- Henry Skinner. - Oh.

Well, his ranch is out west of here.

If I can find that no-good husband of mine,

I'll have him drive ya.

Well, thank you very much.

Meanwhile, come on over, I'll fix

a cup of tea for you and Mr. Destry.

- Fine. - Are you crazy, Bessie Mae?

- Tom Destry don't want no tea. - Oh.

Oh, will you put that blasted bird cage down?

Here. Now come on. Come along with me.

- Bye, and thanks a lot. - Excuse me.

What's your hurry, Rags?

Mr. Decker's waitin' over at the saloon

to buy a drink for, uh, Mr. Destry.

Well, that can hold.

I got a more important matter.

Now, Rags, that ain't a way to act.

- Mr. Decker wouldn't like it. - No, he wouldn't.

I sure wouldn't wanna disappoint Mr. Decker, whoever he is.

That's right. He's real sensitive that way.

Maybe you better come along with me and Curly.

Have a nice trip?

A bargain, huh?

Well, that's a matter of opinion.

Curly: Hey, everybody! Hey!

Take a look at your new deputy.

- So you're Tom Destry? - Yeah.

I-- I don't know why it is,

but folks always seem surprised.

Well, my name is Decker.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, the boys said you wanted to see me.

Yes. And this is our mayor, the Honorable Hiram J. Sellers.

Glad to have you with us, sonny.

Glad to meet both of you gentlemen.

Believe it or not, boys...

- He's dry behind the ears. - Dry behind the ears.

Come on now. You can do better than that.

Much better, as you'll find out.

I'll be lookin' forward to it, ma'am.

Come on, I'll buy you a drink.

Wait a minute. Are you old enough?

I'm old enough.

Say, Destry, before you have that drink,

there's something I'd like you to understand.

Well, I'm all for folks understanding each other.

Well, you see, I have a sort of a peculiar hobby.

Oh, I know how hobbies are.

I used to collect cigar bands.

- Isn't that silly? - I collect guns.

- Oh? - From deputy sheriffs.

Oh. Well, you got many of 'em?

Quite a few, but I can always use one more.

Well, I, I'd like to help you out, Mr. Decker,

but I'm afraid I can't.

You mean, I'm gonna have to take it from you?

Well, that would be kind of hard to do.

Now hold on!

Wait a minute. Let's not get excited.

What I'm trying to tell you is that I don't carry a gun.

There, you see?

Kind of lucky I didn't have one, isn't it?

If I'd had one, one of us might have got hurt.

I wouldn't want anything like that to happen, would I?

Decker: Well, folks, looks like we finally got a deputy

that knows what's good for him.

You're absolutely right, boy.

If sheriffs didn't carry guns,

they wouldn't get into trouble.

What will you have to drink?

How about a shot of milk?

- Is it fresh? - For sure, it's...

I finally figured out how you cleaned up Silver Creek.

And you can start doing the same thing right here.

And don't forget the corners.

Well, they do look kind of dirty, don't they?

Curly: Hey, you!

Now, hold it, boys. Let's-- Let's put that thing

down before somebody gets drowned.

Doc: Rags!

Rags! Hey, you gotta put me in jail!

- What's the matter? What's-- - Don't argue with me.

- Lock me up! - But you ain't done nothin'!

Think of something. You've known me long enough.

- But-- - Oh, too late!

Doc! I'll find you, you insignifi...

- Give me that hat! - Get out of here.

Not until I get my hat.

I sent all the way to St. Louis for that.

Brandy: It's mine now. Your husband lost it to me.

Lost it? You cheated him out of it.

You, you hussy. You're always cheatin' him.

He'd rather be cheated by me than married to you.

Is that so?

Here, hold that, will you?

I guess she didn't want the hat after all.

Whoa, whoa. Wait a minute now.

I was-- I'm just trying to be help...

Brandy: Ah!

Whoa.

Oh, please, ma'am. I can explain this whole thing if you just...

Now we each got a chair.

Let's sit down and talk this over, huh?

Get out of here before I kill you.

- Alright, ma'am. I'm going. - You better.

Just take it easy. I'm going. I'm going.

Now I know why they call this town Restful.

Get out of here!

I'm gone!

Now, honey.

I never thought I'd live to see the day

when Tom Destry's son would be a laughin' stock.

Every man can't be just like his father, Rags.

There wouldn't be anything new in the world.

Doggone it, on a job like this,

people gotta be scared of you.

First impressions are mighty important.

- You mean mine was bad? - Bad?

Look, I told everybody they were gonna see a real ring-tailed,

fire-eating gunfighter like your father.

What happens?

You get off the stage carryin' a bird cage and a parasol.

I was just tryin' to help a lady.

That ain't what I hired you for.

You know, I don't hold too much with first impressions.

The way I figure it,

it's the last impression that's important.

That ain't true.

Look, Tom,

you know why Decker and his gang made me sheriff?

Because I was the town drunk.

And they figured they could push me around.

But I aim to fool 'em and do a real job.

That's what I was just saying.

The first impression doesn't count.

Kind of had a dream in my mind.

A picture of the both of us.

You and me ridin' side by side.

Made me feel good again

like I was back ridin' with your pa.

Then you ought to remember this.

Rags: Huh?

Oh.

That's somethin' I ain't never gonna forget.

His gun, ain't it? Your pa's?

Well, look, boy, that's what I've been waitin' for.

Buckle this belt on and let's go to work.

No, Rags, no. I... I don't believe in guns.

- You don't what? - I don't believe in guns.

My dad had that gun on the night he got shot in the back.

Guns didn't do him any good.

There's only one thing that scares a gunfighter.

It's a judge and jury.

Are you trying to tell me you cleaned up Silver Creek

without any shootin'?

That's right.

Then I reckon Silver Creek

couldn't have been as tough as I heard

'cause you ain't gonna clean up Restful

with a pocket full of rocks.

You know, I read about a fellow once.

Name of David.

He did alright with a rock.

I seem to recollect David used a slingshot.

Ah, it's no good, Rags.

Look, Tom, you'll be better off back in Silver Creek.

Your pa was a friend of mine. I don't wanna see you get hurt.

Well, I hadn't figured on gettin' hurt.

If you don't put any store in shootin',

nothin' else can happen.

What this town needs is somebody like the Destry your pa was,

and it's pretty plain you ain't it.

I'm sorry I said that.

It's alright. I figure a man

ought to always say what he thinks.

It's just that I wouldn't feel right about swearin' you in.

No hard feelin'?

No hard feelings, Rags.

One thing you gotta say about Phil Decker.

- He puts on a good funeral. - Put on many of them?

Wouldn't mind havin' the undertaking concession.

Who's he burying this time?

Joe Bailey. He used to be the sheriff.

- Stranger here, ain't you? - Yeah.

What happened to Bailey?

Some say it was a heart attack, and some say it wasn't.

Trouble with Joe Bailey, he took the job serious.

Any sheriff does that around here is askin' for a funeral.

Well, I gotta get back to the diggin's.

If you're looking for a drink,

I ain't had time to do the milking yet.

I'm looking for Mayor Sellers.

Well, it's about this time of day

he starts doin' his paintin'.

He ought to be along pretty soon.

Say, in the meantime while you're waitin',

why don't you try some of this?

- It's got milk beat all hollow. - I'll bet.

You gonna take over the whole job now?

What job?

Well, Rags was just in here

and traded this for a jug.

I guess he figured it was better to be

a first-rate drunk than a second-rate sheriff.

Where is he?

If he ain't changed his habits none,

he's sleepin' it off back there where we keep the beer.

Hey! Here's the mayor now.

- Morning, son. Tom: Morning, mayor.

- Leavin' us so soon? - No, sir.

As a matter of fact, I was just lookin' for you.

Do you have the authority to swear me in as deputy?

I thought that had already been taken care of.

Well, it seems like it kind of got overlooked

and I, I think it ought to be done before I start work.

Well, I'll be glad to help you, son.

Minute I laid eyes on you, I figured

you're the right man for the job.

Sort of the way I figured it too.

Yeah, it's like the feller says,

"If anything goes wrong, it's your funeral."

Gather around here, a couple of you fellers,

and witness this ceremony. Hold up your right hand.

Do you, Tom Destry, swear to uphold the law

and do your duty, no matter what?

I do.

By the power invested in me,

I hereby appoint you deputy sheriff.

Hope you don't live to regret it.

Thank you, mayor.

All I needed was a little help.

And I could have done it...

I read a book about a man once.

He needed help and didn't think he had it.

Made him feel real unhappy.

- Tom. - Yeah, Rags.

Oh, I thought you'd g-- gone on the stage.

Well, I, I didn't have enough money to pay my fare.

They wouldn't let me ride on jawbone.

Looks like I'm gonna have to work a few days before

I can get out of town.

- Had the mayor swear me in. - Swear you in?

You mean, you're gonna stay?

You're gonna stay and help me?

I don't know how much help I'll be,

but I'd kind of like to stick around

and watch you whip this town into shape.

I might learn something.

I gotta get my badge back.

You don't have to get it back, Rags.

- Huh? - You never let it go.

Did you see Mr. Destry while you were in town?

Yes, I just happened to run into him in the store.

- We had lunch together. - Has he shot anybody yet?

Why, no, I, I don't think so, Eli.

He has his own ideas about law enforcement.

There now. That looks better, doesn't it?

Yeah, I reckon it does.

Has he kissed you yet?

Well, of course not.

Guess he has his own ideas about everything.

Eli, just get out the backdoor

and get the sheriff out here quick.

- Martha, get down on the floor. - What's wrong, pop?

Decker's tryin' to grab the ranch. Get goin' now.

I'll try and keep 'em off till you get back.

Hey, what are you gonna do with that?

I'm gonna shoot someone. Hurry up and get Mr. Destry.

You better get out of there, Skinner!

That's my property and I'm gonna take it one way or another.

Over my dead body!

Did you ever know Sheriff Bailey to have

any trouble with his heart?

No. Can't say I did.

Here's a medical report on him when he got out of the army.

According to this, his heart was perfect.

He's dead, ain't he?

Yeah, but it doesn't fit too well

with the report Doc Curtis signed.

What about the doc? He any good?

Well, I had a dog once. He got all swelled up.

Doc wanted to operate.

Next day I had six

of the prettiest-lookin' puppies you've ever seen.

I think we better have a talk with him.

No, sir, I wouldn't want the doc working on me

if I was alive.

Eli: Hey, sheriff! Sheriff!

Sheriff!

Decker and some men came to take our ranch.

They're shootin' at my pop. You gotta come and help us.

- We'll take care of that. - What about Miss Phillips?

When I left, she was getting a gun to shoot somebody.

Looked like she knew how too.

Ain't that what I've been telling you?

Even the women gotta use guns in this town.

Take your pick and let's get goin'.

Looks like you got enough for both of us, Rags.

- Come on, Eli. - Oh, Tom.

It's Destry.

Stop that shootin'. Do you hear now?

Stop it! I don't want any more of it.

Look, Rags, why don't you get yourself

out of here 'fore you get hurt?

Huh?

Tom.

You heard what the sheriff said.

- Cut out that shootin'. - Yeah!

Why don't you go on home and get your parasol?

Better come out of there, Skinner!

Maybe you didn't hear me. I said hold your fire.

Maybe you better take a look at this.

Huh?

Rags: Oh.

Tom.

I'd like to hear what Skinner has to say about it.

- Yeah. - Go ahead.

Oh, Rags, you, you better stay here.

We don't want any more shootin'.

You betcha.

Skinner: You got here just in time, Destry.

- They was closin' in on us. - Are you alright, ma'am?

- Yes, thanks. - I'm sure glad.

Mr. Skinner, did you write this?

Yes, I did.

Well, I, I guess that settles the argument.

Oh, no, it don't! Decker cheated me to get that.

How did he go about it?

Well, I was holdin' three aces

when that woman of Decker's came in.

She spilled hot coffee all over me.

Then when I jumped up, they switched my hole card.

Oh, that way. Any witnesses?

There was five of 'em and they all work for Decker.

Seems to me you were sittin' in the wrong game.

And what are you gonna do about it?

Tom: Nothing.

Nothing?

There's nothing I can do.

This gives Decker the land.

I can't run him off his own property.

And you're the one who talked so much

about justice and law enforcement.

I'm sorry, ma'am, I'd rather be horsewhipped--

And I'd like to be the one to do it.

You mean, you're gonna let 'em take our ranch?

- I can't help it, Eli. - Gee.

Look, I, I don't blame you folks for the way you feel.

But I'm afraid you'll have to get out for now.

Then maybe we can figure out some way

to get your ranch back for you.

That's what Joe Bailey told me.

- When was that? - Just before he died.

That heart attack came on awful convenient.

- Well, what about it? - It's all yours, Mr. Decker.

- Huh? - Come on, Rags.

Tom, what are you sayin'?

You can't give away no ranch just like that!

- Skinner lost it to him. - But Skinner is my friend!

Look, Rags, there's no two ways about the law.

Either you enforce it or you don't.

Is that right, Mr. Decker?

Destry, you're a pretty smart fella.

We're gonna get along alright.

Anything you want, you just come and see me.

Just remember what I said about the law, Mr. Decker.

No two ways about it.

Uh, but, Tom!

Come in.

Now wait a minute. Don't start throwin' things.

I just came in to have a little talk.

What have we got to talk about?

Well, I'm not sure. If we sit around a little while,

we ought to be able to think of something.

It's a real nice place you got here.

- You just get up? - What difference does it make?

Oh, none, really.

That night work gets confusing, doesn't it?

I used to work a graveyard shift myself.

- What do you mean by that? - Nothing.

Just trying to make conversation.

I don't think I like your type of conversations.

To tell you the truth,

I don't care much for it myself.

Would you like a cup of coffee?

Well, that's real neighborly of you.

Why did you come here?

Well, being a sheriff, I figured

I ought to get around and meet the people.

Try to find out what goes on in town.

- What have you found out? - You know, it's a funny thing.

People around here don't seem inclined to do much talking.

Uh, uh, easy now. There's no need to spill that on me.

- We're not playing poker. - What are you talking about?

I read a book once about a fella.

He was playing cards and somebody spilled

hot coffee on him.

Time he sat down again,

he didn't have the same hand he started with.

- Get out of here. Get out! - Alright, I'm going.

And you better mind your own business

or you'll wind up full of holes!

- Like Bailey? - Yes, like Bailey!

Thanks.

Wait.

What are you gonna do?

I haven't decided yet.

Look, there's a stage leaving town in about an hour.

Do yourself a favor and be on it.

Why, I was just beginning to like it here.

The feeling isn't mutual.

You know something?

I don't think you're half as bad as you make out to be.

Never mind what I am.

Yes, sir.

I bet you've got a beautiful face

underneath all that paint.

Why don't you wipe it off someday and take a look at it?

You might be surprised.

Rent day, Miss Sweetland.

I know it is, but I always pay it to your wife.

Uh, she's very busy today. I am taking time out

from my work to do it for her.

Well, if you think it's alright.

Oh, it will be perfectly alright, Miss Sweetland.

Doc: Twelve, seventeen, twenty two.

Ah, that's quite correct.

I'll see that Bessie Mae gives you a receipt.

- Bessie Mae will what? - Bessie Mae will get it.

Bessie Mae!

Oh, well, this is a pleasant surprise.

What do you mean a surprise? I live here.

Oh? Oh, oh, so you do. So you do.

Well, they come and go. Good day.

Hold on, doc, I...

I did wanna talk to you about something.

Oh, well, just, uh, step right in my office.

Going for a drive, were you, ma'am?

- No, I wasn't, but I-- - Excuse us, my dear.

This is an emergency. A patient!

Sit down, Tom. Sit down.

Seems like Bessie Mae's right upset about something.

Yeah, that's just her normal condition.

Now put that right under your tongue.

Ever have any spots in front of your eyes?

Only when I play poker.

That's the worst kind.

Well, your temperature's normal. Now take off your shirt.

There's nothin' wrong with me, doc.

I know. You're not married.

Take off your shirt.

Doc, I wanna talk to you about Joe Bailey.

What, what about him?

I believe you certified that he died of a heart attack.

Yes, seems I, uh, recollect I did that.

Uh, well, he's dead, anyway.

Let's go get a drink.

Did you know that a man can be sent to prison

for falsifying an official document?

I didn't do any falsifying.

They told me he died of a heart attack,

and that's what I wrote down--

Who's they?

Uh, Decker and Mayor Sellers.

They were present at the sad event.

Did you make an examination of the body?

Well, no, not exactly.

Why not?

What would you do if someone asked you to sign a paper

and had a gun in your ribs?

- I'd sign the paper. - That's what I did.

And if I did, I'd be in as much trouble as you are right now.

If there's anything I could do to make it right, I'll do it!

You could go make that examination,

find out what really killed Bailey.

Sure, sure. Find out what really killed him.

I-- I'll be glad to.

Hey... Hey, wait a minute.

I-- I couldn't do that.

Decker may not like that.

You know, doc, I had a friend once.

He had a choice too.

Between the devil and the deep blue sea.

Had a hard time makin' up his mind.

Larson: Just a minute, Destry.

- I wanna talk to you. - Yeah?

I've got 5000 head of cattle comin' up the trail from Texas.

Now I find out I can't drive 'em through

unless I pay Decker 50 cents a head.

I don't blame you for being sore, Mr. Larson.

Well, what are you gonna do about it?

- I'm working on that right now. - Oh, you are?

Well, you're the one that gave Decker that last piece of land.

Decker had a legal deed to the Skinner place.

- Law was on his side. - It sure was.

Bessie: You get right out of that wagon, Henry Skinner,

and come on inside. You're stayin' here

till you know what you're gonna do.

Well, thank you, Bessie Mae.

Uh, that's mighty nice of you,

but I just don't know how I'd pay you.

Who said anything about money? What's friends for

if not to help you out when you're in trouble?

Now you can store your things in the shed in back.

- You men give him a hand here. - Thank you.

Woman 1: Well, I think it's an outrage.

Ten years of hard work stolen just like that.

What else do you expect from this town?

Yeah, I should have kept on shootin'

instead of sendin' for him.

If this is your idea of law enforcement,

you can deal me out.

You've gotta stick to the law

even when you don't like it, Larson.

That goes for me and it goes for you too.

- Help you down, Miss Phillips? - No, thank you.

Eli, sometimes a man has to do things he doesn't like to,

and a lot of people get mad at him for it.

The trouble is, once they get mad, they, they get pig-headed

and won't listen to an explanation.

In certain cases, Eli, there isn't any possible explanation.

If you make an exception in one case,

you may as well not have a law.

You can understand that, can't you?

I guess I ain't old enough to understand things like that.

Well, you'll probably never get old enough

to understand a woman.

Oh, Mr. Larson, would you help me down, please?

Yes, Miss Phillips. Here.

Thank you.

I gotta go.

- Mornin', men. - Hi.

Oh, good morning, Miss...

Hm.

You know, it seems to me everybody in town

got up mad this morning.

You know why, don't you?

Might be because of Henry Skinner.

Might be.

Look, Rags.

Why don't you go on back to the office?

No sense in you spoilin' your reputation

by bein' seen on the street with me.

I'm the one responsible for bringin' you here.

I reckon I've gotta take care of you till you decide to leave.

Come on, let's go back.

Hey, Tom, don't go in there.

That shootin' don't mean nothin'.

- Let's just have a look, huh? - But, Tom!

You'll only get yourself hurt.

All together now. One, two, three.

Tom: Gettin' started kind of early, aren't you, boys?

John: So what? - Oh, nothin' important.

We just have to check up on these things.

Well, you wouldn't be this fella Destry now, would you?

- That's me. - I've heard about you.

You drink milk and you don't carry a gun.

That's right.

Now what was it you were about to tell me?

Oh, uh, about this shootin'...

- Yeah? Decker: Any trouble, boys?

Not at all. I'd call this havin' fun.

Oh, no, no, no trouble at all, Mr. Decker.

We were just leavin'. Come on, Tom.

Well, hurry up about it.

Well, enjoy yourselves.

Just be careful of the mayor's paintings

and watch out for the chandeliers.

You gonna get out of here or not?

Hey, that's a nice-lookin' set of guns you got there.

You mind if I see one of them?

Well, be careful. It's loaded.

Got a nice balance to it.

You mind if I see your gun, too, Curly?

Why not?

Maybe you better take mine too.

Thank you, Mac.

How about yours?

Sure.

Used to belong to a deputy sheriff.

Must have been a little near-sighted.

- Mr. Mayor? - I'm like you, son.

I never carry one. I prefer a bow and arrow.

I don't blame you.

Loud noises kind of bother me too.

I guess you're all wondering why I borrowed your guns.

Yeah, we was wonderin', but we ain't worried.

You see, I still got another one.

That's what I'm talking about.

You know, a friend of mine told me once

that first impressions are mighty important.

Take you now.

My first impression would be that you're a tough customer.

- Is that right? - That's right.

Then you take a fellow like me.

A man comes to town not wearing a gun,

not being much in favor of shootin' at folks and...

well, your first impression might be

that he doesn't know much about guns.

- That right? - Yeah. That's right.

Shoots a mite to the left.

Maybe that's why you didn't hit my feet a while ago.

You know, a man can have a lot of fun with guns... sometimes.

I never had much use for these sawed-off jobs.

Maybe I better take a step closer.

Doesn't shoot too bad once you get used to it.

Now that just goes to show you that sometimes

first impressions can be wrong.

Oh, uh...

there's for the damage.

Now you get this straight.

We don't want any more of this

promiscuous shootin' around here.

- Somebody's likely to get hurt. - That's right.

We don't want any more of this pr...

We don't want any more shootin'.

We didn't mean any harm.

Let's get goin', boys.

What's the idea?

Oh, I, I forgot to tell you about a hobby of mine.

I collect old used bullets.

Ever try knocking?

Isn't it a little late for me to start doing that?

I haven't seen much of you lately.

I've missed you.

Maybe you've been too busy counting the profits.

Maybe you've found yourself a new friend.

- A new friend? - Mm-hm.

- Like who? - Destry.

You must be kidding.

Well, he was seen coming out of your house.

So has most of the male population of this burg.

Yes, I know, but I hear Destry wasn't thrown out.

I always like to keep in good with the law.

Oh.

What did he want?

That's not a very flattering question.

Now let's skip the jokes, Brandy. What did he want?

Nothing.

He just dropped by to say he was sorry

about dumping the water on me, that's all.

I've gotta get ready for a number.

You know, there are other things

he could be even sorrier about.

Wouldn't it be a little soon to lose another sheriff?

Not if he steps on my toes.

The only law I believe in is the law of self-preservation.

Want me to tell him that?

I want you to stay away from him.

I'll tell him myself.

As soon as doc comes, bring him on over to Decker's.

Oh, no, no. Look, look, Tom.

Why don't you stay here with me? Then we'll all go over together.

Stop worrying, I'll manage to keep out

of trouble till you get there.

But, uh...

Brandy: Got a match?

Sure.

Aren't you afraid you'll catch cold?

I needed some fresh air.

You ought to get plenty of it in that outfit.

Thanks.

You upset about something?

What makes you think so?

I read in a book once where a beautiful woman

always looks more beautiful when she's upset.

You read the nicest books.

I, I didn't really read that. I, I made it up myself.

Well, that's even nicer.

Sometimes I find it's easier to say things

if you pretend they come out of a book.

I guess it doesn't matter how you say things...

long as you get 'em said.

Yeah, well, uh, I better get along.

Don't go in there tonight, Tom. Please.

Why not?

Just take my word for it. Don't go in there.

I'm sorry, but I've got a little civic problem

to take up with the mayor.

Thanks just the same.

Tom.

Here.

Better take my rabbit's foot.

You need it worse than I do.

- Thanks, Brandy. Larson: Very nice.

Oh, don't let me interrupt anything.

We won't. There's lots of room inside.

- I've been looking for you. - Well, you found me.

I don't know how much Decker paid you

to let him steal that land,

but you might as well know,

I'm gonna drive my cattle through

and nobody's gonna stop me.

Maybe not. You can always try it and find out.

Play along with me and I'll make it worth your while.

Now you wouldn't want me to double-cross Decker, would you?

Well, it looks to me like you've got him double-crossed already.

It works.

Who's the subject today?

- Portrait of Decker. - Oh.

Pretty good likeness, don't you think?

Well, I don't wanna be too critical,

but there's somethin' wrong with it.

Oh, I know what it is. It's the eyes.

Too friendly.

Yep.

Oh, Mr. Mayor, I've got a little problem

to take up with you.

It's sort of official.

I'm always glad to talk over any problem

concerning the welfare of the community.

Yeah, I know. That's why I came to see you.

You see, Rags and I don't seem to be gettin' much cooperation.

- That so? - Yeah.

Every time I start asking questions, uh,

people look kind of vague and sort of drift away.

What kind of questions do you ask?

Oh, just ordinary things.

Like, what really happened to Sheriff Bailey?

I knew a feller once who made himself real unpopular

askin' questions.

Got so nobody'd talk to him.

He died of loneliness.

- You might keep that in mind. - I will.

Sounds like a pretty awful way to die.

I still get curious about Bailey though.

Let me tell you something, son.

Excuse me, I don't wanna miss this.

Boys, please.

Please, let's have a little quiet tonight, will you?

I'm gonna toss you one of the classics,

so no hootin' or shootin', huh?

All: Yeah! - Alright.

♪ The loneliest word

♪ I've heard of is empty

♪ Anything empty is sad

♪ An empty purse

♪ Can make a good girl bad

You hear me, dad?

♪ The loneliest word

♪ I've heard of is empty

♪ Empty things make me so mad

♪ So fill me up

♪ With what I formerly had

♪ Now Venus you know

♪ Was loaded with charms

♪ And look at what happened to her ♪

♪ Waitin' around

♪ She's minus two arms

♪ Could happen to me?

♪ No sir

♪ Right now is the time

♪ To fill what is empty

♪ Fill my life brimful of charms ♪

♪ Help me refill

♪ These empty empty arms

♪ The loneliest gal

♪ And I don't know why

♪ My qualifications are fine

♪ Hate to complain

♪ But will you explain

♪ Why nobody's usin' mine?

♪ Now is the time

♪ To fill what is empty

♪ Fill my life brimful of charms ♪

♪ Help me refill

♪ These empty

♪ Empty empty

♪ Arms ♪

- I wanna talk to you. - Just a minute.

- Nice singing, Brandy. - Thanks.

Which one of you lucky characters

is gonna buy me a drink?

- Here, sit down. - Look, Brandy.

Go sing another song, will you?

- But I'm thirsty. - We're busy.

Oh, you don't look that busy to me.

Destry, I understand you've been asking questions about Bailey.

Seems like I did mention his name a couple of times.

Why?

Just a natural curiosity, I guess.

My father was that way too.

What happened to him?

Shot in the back.

Maybe we better go to your office and talk this over.

Oh, no, you don't!

The deputy was just gonna buy me a drink.

- Weren't you? - Yes, ma'am.

There's a limit to what a rabbit's foot can do.

Decker isn't fooling, Tom.

Oh, I don't think he'd shoot me here

in front of all these people.

Excuse me, Brandy.

Music! Boys, hold the music, will you?

Folks, I hate to interrupt your fun,

but I've got something important to say to you.

I've just found out how Sheriff Bailey died.

I understood Bailey died of a heart attack.

That's seems to be the rumor around town.

But if he did die of a heart attack.

It was because he heard a bullet comin' at him.

Are you implying you have some new evidence on this matter?

I have.

This bullet.

Doc Curtis just dug this out of Bailey's back.

Well, I guess that could be considered as new evidence.

Couldn't it, Phil?

I don't know.

Any idea who put it there?

Well, I've been reading about something new.

It seems every gun leaves its own mark on a bullet.

By puttin' two bullets under a magnifying glass,

you can tell if they both came out of the same barrel.

So doc compared this bullet he took out of Bailey

with the ones I dug out of the wall over there.

I did?

Oh, yeah, I sure did.

- We found one that matched. - Yep.

You can't hide no crazy thing like that on us!

It's funny you said that, Curly,

because the one that matched came out of your gun.

What?

Destry, I wanna tell you some--

Hold on, Phil. Hold on.

I doubt very much if these old slugs

would ever be admissible as evidence, deputy.

Let's leave that up to the court, Mr. Mayor.

Oh, certainly, certainly.

Of course, you understand that both Mr. Decker and myself

were misled as to the nature of Mr. Bailey's departure.

We'll let the court decide that too.

Come on, Curly.

You're gonna let him get away with this?

Go on, Curly. It's our solemn duty to uphold the law.

If you're not guilty, nothing's going to happen to you.

- You sure? - Certainly, go on.

I don't like it.

Did you ever hear that about bullets before?

Can't say that I ever have.

Well, I guess I have to catch up on my readin'.

Larson: Open the gate!

Come on, open up that gate.

It will cost you four bits a head.

Larson: I know. I know. I'm willing to pay.

Now come on. Open it up.

Alright, open it up.

Larson: Start countin' 'em...

after you wake up!

Alright, boys. Bring 'em through!

I'll show Decker and that tinhorn deputy

nobody's gonna tell me what to do.

I don't care what the law says.

Nobody's gonna make me pay a toll

to drive my cattle anywhere!

Nobody's making you pay.

But you'll probably get kind of tired of that cell

in five or six years.

Now you take Curly here.

He's tired of his already, ain't you, Curly?

- I ain't talkin'. - Well, that's too bad.

'Cause in a couple of weeks, you won't be able to.

What do you mean by that?

Well, it's kind of hard to talk with a rope around your neck.

They're gonna hang you, you know.

I want a drink.

Sure. Get him some water, Rags.

- Water? - I'll give him water.

- I'll drown that dirty-- - Whoa! Whoa!

- He's our guest. - Guest!

I'd make him talk.

I'd sure hate to see you hang for something you didn't do.

- You don't wanna hang, do you? - You think I'm crazy?

Then why don't you tell us the truth?

- Decker can't help you now. - Why don't you leave me alone?

I didn't do it. I told-- told you that!

All you have to do is tell us who did.

The way I look at it, Bailey came up

and asked for the note Skinner signed.

Is that about it?

Loyalty's a great thing, Curly.

But it ought to work both ways.

Does it seem right that you stretch a rope

for something that was Decker's idea?

Suppose I do tell you.

What happens to me?

It might change a lot of things.

Well, I...

Afternoon, gentlemen. Good afternoon.

As the mayor of Restful, I'd like to convey

the people's thanks for uncovering the murder

of our esteemed late sheriff.

In view of your prompt and vigorous action,

I consider it only right that the accused,

one Curly Adams, be brought to trial

with the same dispatch.

In the absence of any other judicial authority,

therefore, I have decided to put on my legal robes

and try the case myself.

Oh, well, there's no use puttin' yourself

to all that trouble, Mr. Mayor.

Maybe now I should say Your Honor.

You see, we've already sent for a territorial judge.

That so? When's he due to arrive?

In a couple of days.

Him and Tom worked together at Silver Creek.

Hm, it's too bad

he has to make that long trip for nothing.

The case is on the docket for tomorrow morning.

Deliver the prisoner at 10 o'clock, Decker's Saloon.

The only place in town big enough to hold the crowd.

I suppose there's gonna be a jury?

Oh, yeah. I'm glad you brought that up.

In order to expedite matters,

I have already impaneled 12 good men and true.

Hold on, mayor.

It's no dice.

I've seen that kind of justice before.

Nobody's turning Curly loose on the say-so

of a bunch of barflies and two-for-a-nickel gunslingers.

We're holding him for a real trial

in front of a real honest-to-goodness

federal judge.

You heard what he said, Mr. Sellers.

You're defying local authority, gents.

Curly's friends are liable to resent it.

You tell Curly's friends he's not leaving this cell

till Judge Nolan gets here.

Tell your friends too.

I'll do that, son. I'll do that.

Looks like a lot of things have changed already.

Don't it?

- Not for you, it ain't. - Oh, Rags!

Alright, so I done it.

I'm sorry, Curly.

It just goes to prove that sometimes

a man just shouldn't laugh.

- Alright, out, Larson. - What do you mean out?

You've got some cattle to see after, haven't you?

- Yeah, sure. - Then go take care of them.

I put you in there to show you you can't go around

defying the law.

I'm gonna let you out for a little while

to show you the law can be fair too.

- I ain't payin'. - I'll expect you back by dark.

By that time, make up your mind

whether you're gonna pay or stay.

Who says I'm comin' back?

Well, I'm taking your word for it.

- I'll leave the door open. - I haven't given you any word.

Sure, you have.

I read something once that said a man's pride in a trust

was better than a written contract.

Now hurry up.

Well, I've met a lot of characters in my time, Destry,

but you are it!

Well, you, you got him wet.

Now you better figure how you're gonna get him dried out.

I'll wring him out.

Here's Tom now and I'm gonna tell him what you said.

Oh, no, you're not!

Shh!

What's goin' on here?

- Ow! - Something wrong?

You know something, Mr. Destry?

The older I get, the more I think women are crazy!

You got a lot of company, Eli.

We were walking along there talkin' about you

and all of a sudden, she grabs me

and pulls me behind this tree.

I ask you now, ain't that crazy?

I don't know. Depends on what you were saying.

- I'll tell ya-- - Well, we... Eli.

We were just talking about you putting Curly Adams in jail

and I, I mentioned what a good thing it would be for the town.

- That's not all she said. - Eli!

What she really said was that she'd like to kiss you.

Is that so?

I didn't mean it exactly that way.

It was just sort of a figure of speech.

Ain't you gonna do anything about it?

Doesn't seem to be quite the place for it.

I'll keep it in mind.

Come on, Eli!

Eli: Crazy if you ask me.

Doc: Tom! Tom!

- Hey, Destry. - What's wrong?

Nothing. Got a message for you. Brandy.

She wants to see you, her house,

right away, important.

Oh, doc, you wanna watch that runnin'.

Gettin' a little old for it.

Yeah? I wish you'd tell that to Bessie Mae.

- What is it? - Come in. Come in.

Doc said you wanted to see me, something important.

Oh, it wasn't that important.

I just wanted to buy you a drink, that's all.

- Oh, fine. - Sit down.

- Here's looking at you. - Lookin' at you too.

Well...

Well, what?

Men.

Don't you notice anything different?

Oh, sure. You took some of that war paint off.

- You look real nice. - I feel sort of undressed.

Brandy, what did you really wanna see me about?

I'm leaving town...

and I wanted to see you before I left.

I don't know whether that's important or not.

Well, sure, it is.

- What happened? - Nothing.

I'm just sick of this town, I'm sick of the people here,

and I'm sick of what I've been doing.

So I'm going back to New Orleans.

A lot of folks are gonna miss you around here.

Except for a few wives, maybe.

How about you?

Yeah, me too.

Ever been to New Orleans?

No, I haven't.

You'd like it there.

It's wonderful this time of the year.

What's the matter with you?

Nothing.

I don't suppose you'd wanna come with me.

I'm afraid that's a little bit off my range.

Besides, I've still got a job to do here.

I wanna wish you lots of luck.

Come with me, Tom. You won't be sorry.

I'm sorry right now.

Oh, uh, speaking of luck,

thanks for the loan of the rabbit's foot.

It's been a lot of help.

You keep it.

It's nothing. Don't pay any attention to it.

No, Tom, no! Don't go out there.

They'll kill you. Tom, please.

Rags.

They got me in the back, Tom.

I didn't even have time to draw.

Don't talk, we'll take care of it.

Don't hurt so much. Just makes me mad.

Sure, I know.

Everything goin' along so fine,

and I had to go and let you down.

You didn't let me down. It was the other way around.

No. No, they...

Doc, get busy and dig this slug out of me

so Tom and I can find out who done it.

And after I've had a little rest--

Alright, Rags. I'll get at it right away.

Rags: Makes me so danged mad!

Getting shot in the back.

They were scared of you, Rags.

They were afraid to meet you face-to-face.

You really think so?

I'm kind of tired right now,

but we'll still show 'em.

- Won't we, Tom? - Sure.

That is the way I always dreamed about it.

You and me, side by side,

just like it used to be when I rode with your dad.

We'll show 'em, Tom.

You and me togeth...

Easy, Rags, take it easy.

On second thought, I guess

maybe you'll have to do the showin'.

I'm awful tired.

Well, I'm back, Destry. I'm sorry, I'm a little late.

- What's the matter with him? - Somebody killed Rags Barnaby.

And sprung Curly Adams.

Destry's comin' after you.

Is that something I should be worried about?

This time you should. He's packin' a gun.

Oh.

Maybe we'd better arrange for a little welcoming committee.

Get Curly. Professor, you get up in the balcony.

Dummy, you take the front door.

Where do you think you're going?

It's-- I needed some fresh air.

It's sort of smoky in here.

I want you to sing a little song.

It's not time for it yet.

Now, look, I want everything to look nice and normal

when your friend gets in here.

Now get up there and sing that song.

Alright, girls, come on, on your feet!

Let's get up there and liven this place up a little bit.

Come on, do your numbers! Come on!

♪ And you must try as you go prancing by ♪

♪ To swing your skirt a bit high high higher ♪

♪ You can get your man without any tussle ♪

♪ He will give in you'll be livin' following this plan ♪

♪ You will get your man if you can can-can ♪

♪ You can't fool a man by wearing a bustle ♪

♪ Take it off or shake it off with wiggles of the can-can ♪

♪ You can't fool a man by faking a muscle ♪

♪ You'll begin to be a winner if you can can-can ♪

♪ You'll get the eye as you go dancing by ♪

♪ So swing it low and swing it high ♪

♪ And you will try ♪

Quit that!

Alright, come on, start up that music.

Stop her!

Brandy: Doc! Doc! - Yes.

Where's Destry?

Last time I saw him, he was headin' for Decker's.

And I'm gonna help him even though

it is against my better judgement.

- But he's not there. - I know.

- He ain't? - No.

Well, uh, maybe he's over at the jail

roundin' up some more help, which is a very good idea.

I'll, uh, go see.

Tom: Keep your hands low and take a normal walk to the door.

Alright, inside, hurry up.

Close that door easy.

All I want is Decker. Where is he?

I said where's Decker?

Brandy: Let me through! Let me through!

Brandy, get out of here.

Look out!

Brandy.

I... guess I won't make that

trip to New Orleans...

after all.

Sure, you will, Brandy.

We'll both make it. I'll go with you.

Just...

kiss me goodbye, Tom.

Man 6: Mornin', Tom. - Morning.

Man 6: Fine day. - Yes, it is.

Yes, it is.

- Morning, Tom. - Morning, ma'am.

Don't forget about Sunday.

- I'll be there. - We'll be there.

♪ Come on boys get your guns get 'em loaded ♪

♪ Let's greet the bandits with a bang bang bang ♪

♪ Here they come and by gun we're reloaded ♪

♪ We'll meet the bandits with a bang bang bang ♪

♪ From California to Rio Grande ♪

♪ A cowboy keeps his ammunition handy ♪♪

Girls. That reminds me.

Martha says to tell you how glad she was

to be back on the ranch again.

Huh? Oh, is that so?

Say, tell me something, Tom.

Ain't you never gonna get around to kissin' her?

It's kind of hard to say, Eli.

I've been pretty busy with my job here.

Seems to me you got the job all done.

Pa says that Restful is the most restful town he ever seen.

Hardly hear a gun go off anymore.

- Tom! In there. - What's the trouble?

I don't know. I didn't stop to ask.

In there! In there!

Oh, hiya, sheriff.

What's the big idea?

Well, I've been in town all day

and I heard that the only way one could get any attention

around here was to do a little promiscuous shootin'.

Excuse me.

You know you're breaking the law.

- Are you gonna arrest me? - Well, I--

There's no two ways about the law.

- Isn't that right? - That's right.

Well, I'll go along peacefully.

I'm out of ammunition, anyway.

This reminds me of a book I read once.

It was all about a fellow and a girl.

They had the doggonedest time gettin' together.

Oh, it wasn't her fault.

It wasn't exactly his fault either.

Just a, a whole lot of mix-up kept them apart.

- One day, they finally-- - You know something?

You read too many books.

Yeah.

There comes a time when a fellow just

has to stop readin' so much.