Original subtitles

[theme music playing]

♪ When super me

Becomes super we ♪

♪ Suddenly, magically

Pretty automatically ♪

♪ Crushing it side by side ♪

♪ Look out, world

We're Super Hero Girls ♪

♪ Now that we're together

Gonna get that super life! ♪

♪ Wow! ♪

"Um, avast scalawag.

I'm, uh, Swash Buckler,

scourge of the Seven Seas."

"Avast scalawag...

I'm swashbuckler

scourge of the sev--"

[Zatanna] Swash Buckler,

not swashbuckler!

Oh...

I don't get it.

So, yeah like, um...

go ahead and

avast, Mr. Scalawag,

'cause I'm,

like, Swash Buckler,

the scourge

of the Seven Seas

and stuff, and...

[Zatanna yells]

Read the lines, Hal!

Oh, right. Uh...

"Swash Buckler

enters stage right.

He stands upon

the deck of the..."

[frustrated] Next!

Ugh. This is a disaster, Karen.

Swash Buckler

on the Seven Seas

could be the best play

I've ever done!

The costumes are hand-sewn,

soaked in saltwater

for authenticity...

The Impolite Minnow

is the most ambitious set

in Metropolis High history!

And the finest

most gifted actor

ever to grace this stage

will play Lady Catharine.

But I thought you were

playing Lady Catharine?

Look, the point is,

none of this matters

if I can't find

the right actor

to play Swash Buckler!

-[sighs in exasperation]

-[man] Greetings, company!

[in accent] Stage role.

Your leading man has arrived.

[softly] Oh, no.

The name is Oliver Queen.

I've portrayed everyone

from the Phantom

to the Streetcar.

Lois Lane of the

Daily Planetoid

has called my performances

"bold," "brash,"

and "bang on the beam,"

which I assume

means good. So...

do you want to go through

with this charade

of me auditioning

or shall we proceed

to dress rehearsal?

[whispers] I dunno Zee,

Oliver seems pretty perfect.

Uh, I hate to admit it...

I mean, really hate

to admit it, but--

[man 2 in distance]

"Avast, ye scalawags!

-[heroic music plays]

-[crowd chattering]

[groans]

"I am Swash Buckler,

scourge of the

Seven Seas!

Look not to this coward

for salvation!

With Swash Buckler

at the helm,

the horizon holds treasures

to last to your dying days!

There's no chains

to hold you now, men!"

[all cheering]

"Fill the sails

with freedom's wind!

And throw that bloated symbol

of yesteryear to the sharks!"

[all] Yeah!

Put me down!

What are you doing?

[screams]

Ha-ha!

Who are you, stranger?

Who am I?

Why, I'm your new

Swash Buckler, m'lady!

No you're not, sir!

Put me down.

You're not seriously

considering this hack, are you?

[gasps] You are!

You are, aren't you!

Look at me!

[whispers] What do I do, Karen?

A second ago I didn't have

a Swash Buckler

and now I've got two!

Maybe you should do callbacks

and then decide?

Hmm.

Oliver would hate that...

Callbacks!

Ha! I've never been

so insulted in my life.

Who is this arrogant,

incompetent, pompous--

Mortimer... Drake.

And, um,

don't be so hard on Zee.

She's just trying to make sure

the right person

gets the role, you know?

As she should!

As long as it's me.

"Dawn breaks

in the west tonight, men.

The laws of this mortal world

no longer bind us.

We are here

to brave the sirens

and sea herself."

Time to push this

pointless competition

over the tipping... point.

"...sailors on

eternity's tides.

So come on girl,

listen to me,

uh huh, uh-huh...

Baby, baby, oh, can't you see?

[stuttering]

That me plus you...

equals love that's..."

[sings]

♪ "True..." ♪

Are those...

Up Past Eight lyrics?

Thank you, I've heard enough.

[stuttering]

But... but...

I take the theater

very seriously, sir.

Perhaps as Oliver's understudy

you'll see that

there's no room

for these sorts of

sophomoric jokes

on my stage.

Of course.

I respect your decision.

The important thing is that

the right person gets the role.

[laughs cunningly]

"Ready the Impolite Minnow.

My Uncle will rue the day

he crossed me."

[Oliver]

"Of course, Lady Catharine.

We'll reach the channel

by sundown...

and my men shall--"

[screams]

[instrumental music plays]

[squeaking]

[tense music plays]

-[fires]

-[thuds]

You!

I'm warning you, Drake.

No funny business tonight.

I'm sure I don't know

what you're

talking about, Queen.

Oh, you know perfectly well

what I'm talking about!

You've been trying to

sabotage me

ever since I...

sabotaged you

in callbacks.

Well I know your game, Drake.

Wait.

You sabotaged

his audition?

Of course!

The best person

had to have the role!

I... agree.

So you will be playing

Swash Buckler tonight.

What?

I need a leading man

with character,

which you clearly don't have.

Sabotaging a rival, why,

it's an insult to the theater!

Thanks for the opportunity.

Sorry, Oliver. But, um,

look at it this way.

Now you'll have a chance

to redeem yourself.

You know,

to be the bigger man!

Maybe you lost the part,

but you can gain

something even better!

Your integrity.

You can stand up and say,

"I did wrong and I accept

the consequences."

No, that doesn't

sound like me.

I'm gonna go trash

his dressing room instead.

Ahhh!

[thuds]

[Oliver] Ugh, no style!

-[object clattering]

-Look at this shirt,

it's last season!

[effort grunt]

[grunting]

Huh?

[suspenseful music plays]

Hmm. A fifth grade production

of The Three Musketeers?

Pssh. How cliche.

"The cast is generally strong.

However, Morty Drake

is horribly out of his depth

as D'Artagnan.

It's an embarrassing turn

from an 11-year-old

who lacks

the necessary gravitas

for the part."

[laughs] Once a hack,

always a hack.

"On the other end

of the spectrum...

Zee Zatara was radiant in

the role of Milady de Winter,

acting circles around

hapless Morty Drake."

[dramatic gasp]

[gasping]

[dramatic music plays]

-[crowd clapping]

-[Drake] "Up anchor, men!

Sail east,

to the heart of

King James' dominion!

Let's show him how

the Impolite Minnow

earned her name!"

"Oh, But Swash,

how can we evade

my uncle's entire fleet?"

"Fear not, Lady Catharine.

I have experience

in treacherous waters

with sharks lurking below,

their sharp teeth ready

to shred your dreams."

[groans] What?

Wait, that isn't the line...

I, too,

have had dreams crushed,

Lady Catharine.

I know the exquisite sting

of public humiliation,

repeating that awful experience

in your mind

until you realize

that you'll never escape!

I know what it's like

to be stuck in the

worst day imaginable,

the day my life

was ruined by...

-you, Zee Zatara!

-[crowd gasps]

[gasps] What are you doing?

Hear my name well,

for it is the last

that shall ever

reach your ears.

I am...

The Cavalier!

[crowd gasps]

Though perhaps

you might remember me

by a different name.

Does Mortimer Drake

ring a bell?

[embarrassed]

Morty Drake, you know...

I was D'Artagnan

to your Milady de Winter?

Central City Elementary?

I... I meet so many people...

Gah!

You shall pay for your crimes,

Zee Zatara!

I shall have my revenge!

Fear not, fair lady!

Green Arrow

is here to save you!

Ew, ew, get off! Get off!

Who asked you

to save anybody?

-[effort grunt]

-[chuckles]

Ha! Give me a sword!

This is the

weirdest play ever.

En garde!

Stay out of my way,

Green Arrow.

Or taste the bitter steel

of my blade!

Never, Cavalier!

I will always protect

my friends!

Even friends I hate,

like Zee Zatara!

-[effort grunt]

-[grunts]

-[effort grunt]

-Huh?

Eh, you're quite good

with a blade, Cavalier.

But you've never

faced anything

like what's in my quiver.

Ha! Your aim

is as muddled

as your elocution,

Green Arrow.

How dare you criticize

my delivery!

Meet my cannonball arrow.

[explosion]

Lower the curtain, Karen!

My play is ruined!

-[explosion in distance]

-[crowd cheering]

Raise the curtain, Karen!

My play is a triumph!

[crowd cheering]

[Green Arrow] You deserve

those bad reviews,

you melodramatic hack!

[both grunting]

[Cavalier]

And you've got about

as much stage presence as her!

-[Zatanna] Hey!

-[grunts] Ha!

-[gasps]

-[all gasp]

[effort grunt]

-[grunts]

-[grunts]

-[Green Arrow grunts]

-[Cavalier] Ha, ha!

-[Green Arrow] Oh!

-[Cavalier] Ha!

[Green Arrow whimpers]

Oh!

-Ha!

-[crowd gasps]

Prepare for your final

curtain call, Green Arrow...

[growls]

There's only one way

to stop you...

[dramatic music plays]

My Heckler Arrows.

Always knew

they'd come in handy

some day.

[arrows groaning]

No! Make it stop! Please!

[screams] No!

-[grunts]

-[groans]

-[gasps]

-[crowd gasps]

[sighs]

[dramatically]

Remember me, friends.

As a villain,

a rogue,

a pirate captain in a facile,

witless play...

[Zatanna yells] What?

...remember me most of all

for that which

burns in my soul...

remember me...

always as... an...

actor.

Cavalier! I didn't mean...

I never...

I'm so sorry.

[laughs]

Thank you. Thank you.

-[gasps]

-[crowd gasps]

You're remarkable!

That was the most

convincing death scene

I've ever witnessed.

I was lying before,

your delivery

is exquisite.

You could even make

this terrible play sound good.

Oh. You're too kind.

Your immense talent shows

right through her

unimaginative direction.

[chuckles]

And how about her acting?

As dynamic as a wet cloth

draped over a radiator.

[laughs]

Okay. I'm right here, guys,

you know, right here.

-[both laugh]

-A-ha!

-[both laughing]

-[crowd clapping]

[theme music playing]