Original subtitles

[theme song playing]

♪ When super me Becomes super we ♪

♪ Suddenly, magically Pretty automatically ♪

♪ Crushing it side by side ♪

♪ Look out, world We're Super Hero Girls ♪

♪ Now that we're together Gonna get that super life! ♪

♪ Wow! ♪

By the white beard of Zeus, what is this place?

Normal teenager lesson number one, never say stuff like...

"By the white beard of Zeus."

Lesson number two, you gotta look the part.

Bright colors, big logos, be bold!

Leather, lots and lots of leather.

Lesson 3, your phone is your life.

Pics, emails, texts, shopping, social media,

every single bit of knowledge mankind has ever known.

[grunts] Uh, no leather. These were all made with organic cotton from Turkey.

[Barbara] Dress to not draw attention to yourself.

But not too much, or you risk drawing attention to yourself.

Now, get in there and be normal.

I know. Accessorize!

Whoa! [grunts]

[sighs]

Have you finished tormenting this poor girl?

Then, allow me.

[chanting]

-Ta-da! -Oh, she's good.

[gasps]

[Zatanna] Ladies and ladies, may I present Diana Prince.

Foreign exchange student from Greece.

Geek chic.

And these garments give me the appearance

of a typical mortal female adolescent?

[all together] Oh, yes.

Good. Then it is my turn.

[squealing]

If we are to be a team,

then I must know your skills and abilities.

You! Name, rank, skills.

Uh... Hi, I'm Jess.

I'm a cadet in something called the Green Lantern Corp.

And... [exhales]

Oh, boy. Well, see, I was given this power ring

by these weird aliens.

They are sort of like space cops

and they patrol these different sectors.

You know what, the whole thing is really complicated.

I can make stuff with this ring.

That is so cool!

Do a pogo stick.

A burrito.

A muchomargarita supremowith the works!

With this ring of the gods,

you may produce any weapon imaginable

to beat your enemies into submission?

Well, in theory, yes.

But I don't believe in violence.

Admirable. So how shall you be known?

Green Lantern? Kinda comes with the ring.

Good. And you, Batgirl?

I can do all sorts of cool stuff.

Even though I don't have any alien rings or anything,

but I'm really good at figuring things out.

And I make the coolest bat gadgets, like this!

Bat barometer and this glow-in-the-dark bat staff.

And these bat grappling hooks

that I was totally this close to using

when Batman was fighting Professor Pyg

on the roof of this building.

But then Robin showed up, and Batman had to save him.

And you know how that goes. And I never actually got to show him how they work.

And I never even got to meet him,

but that's a whole different story, so I...

-You lack focus. -What?

You can call me the mysterious,

the fabulous, the awe-inspring...

Zatanna!

Impressive. Have you other skills?

I can turn a red heart black. Ever seen a jumping jack?

Go ahead, check behind your ear.

[gasps] What sorcery is this?

I have seen enough. Though you possess great quantities of style,

you must learn to channel your magic into a cause.

Our cause. And I am afraid this uniform will not suffice.

-Think of another. -[groans]

Try a cape.

-What can you do? -[grunts]

I can, um... [screams]

I'm still sort of working out the kinks.

[gulps]

[buzzing]

Oh, the wings aren't supposed to buzz like that.

I'm working on rocket launchers, but they malfunction.

The whole thing is all messed up.

I wanted to be big and strong, so people would notice me,

but... my growth tech backfired, and now I'm even smaller

and more invisible than before.

I should just go home.

You possess far more strength than you know.

You simply lack confidence, little Bumblebee.

I actually prefer the indestructible, gamma phase, 1000 k--

Bumblebee.

[wings buzzing]

Trust me, it's way better.

And you, we've seen your incredible strength.

Is there anything more you have to offer?

[scoffs] Not to you. I'm no hero, "Princess."

That racket's for chumps.

You could be the greatest hero

the world of man has ever known.

You simply lack proper motivation!

-[screaming] -[all gasping]

[screaming]

[thuds]

[gasps] Have you lost your mind?

[screaming]

Okay, fine. I am a super hero, all right.

[scoffs] So what?

[gasps] Again! Again, again, again!

[all cheering]

Oh, thank goodness.

Ugh, I conjured a new outfit to hang out in a junkyard?

Shh. She knows what she's doing.

Soldiers! Our mission is to save the world of man.

-That's right. -In order to do this...

-Right, sister! -...we must learn to save...

-Whoo-hoo. -...man himself.

Um, I think those are ladies.

[grunts]

[clattering]

[gasping]

And now, it is your turn.

[grunts]

♪ The Soul of a warrior Speed of a tiger ♪

♪ Tough as stone ♪

♪ Find a wolf pack worthy of you ♪

♪ And you'll never fight alone ♪

Normal teenager lesson number four.

Pop culture.

[groans]

-Culture? Is she kidding? -[gasps]

O-M... No way!

It's the super-rare Batman giant super-special

with limited edition pull-out Batman poster.

I would kill for this!

Have you learned nothing? We must protect the innocent,

not engage in needless slaughter over material goods.

Diana, it's just an expression.

A figure of speech.

For instance, if you are hungry,

you might say, "I'd kill for a burrito."

Go on, you try.

[exhales]

-I will kill you for a burrito! -[screaming]

Accept my payment or die!

[all gasp]

♪ Be the change in the world that you would want to see ♪

♪ I'll do what it takes to make my mark on history ♪

♪ I got vision I got my crew ♪

♪ And there's nothing we can't do ♪

♪ I'm ready to rise ♪

♪ Eyes on the prize ♪

♪ I'm ready to rise ♪

♪ Eyes on the prize ♪

[growls]

[barks]

♪ The role of a warrior Speed of a tiger ♪

♪ Tough as stone ♪

♪ Find a wolf pack worthy of you ♪

♪ And you'll never fight alone ♪

♪ I've got my girls And they got me ♪

♪ There's no way you can defeat us ♪

♪ I'm ready to rise ♪

♪ Eyes on the prize ♪

[Barbara] Normal teenager lesson number 26.

Uh, what are we doing again?

Pampering ourselves. Isn't it relaxing?

An important part of being a teenage girl is taking care of yourself.

And, in the world of man,

the toe-nail is the point of focus?

Precisely. Isn't this fun?

[woman] Such enormous calluses.

-Ugh! -Time for the big gun.

-[whirring] -Weapon!

[all screaming]

♪ Be the change in the world that you would want to see ♪

♪ I'll do what it takes to make my mark on history ♪

♪ I got vision I got my crew ♪

♪ And there's nothing we can't do ♪

♪ I'm ready to rise ♪

♪ Eyes on the prize ♪

Uh, those weren't bad guys?

♪ I'm ready to rise ♪

[roaring]

♪ Eyes on the prize ♪

♪ I'm ready to rise ♪

[gasps]

♪ Eyes on the prize ♪

Normal teenager lesson number 86...

Romance.

I never wanted to love her, Alexandra.

But she's the most important thing to me now.

The most important thing to me, ever.

So, why hasn't Caitlyn texted me?

[snoring]

She just needs time, Aidan. It's only been two days.

If she texts after three days, that's irrevocable love.

What is happening?

Aidan just realized he can't live without Caitlyn.

But Alexandra is telling him that Caitlyn won't text until tomorrow,

because that's exactly what Michael didn't do to her when they broke up.

And, isn't it all just so sad and beautiful?

Teenage males are very confusing.

[all together] Tell me about it!

-[Aidan] Caitlyn! -[door opens]

You will be mine, Caitlyn. Forever.

Beware, Caitlyn! Aidan attacks!

[yelling]

[Barbara] No, Diana! He's just going to...

Kiss her.

She is just not getting it, you guys.

No! I am not giving up on this team.

There's got to be some place to loosen up, an uptight warrior princess.

Oh, I know.

[rock music playing]

[typing]

[trilling]

[alarm blaring]

[engines whirring]

[theme music playing]