All language subtitles for Bewitched.S06E12.Sams.Double.Mother.Trouble.Imprint.1080p.BluRay.FLAC2.0.H.264-BTN_track5_[eng]

Ooh!

I've got a feeling in my bones this is
the day I'm gonna lower my handicap.

I hope you do,
sweetheart.

Gee, Sam. I know you were up during
the night with the baby. I...

I feel like a heel running
off and leaving you.

Don't be silly. Saturday
is your day. Live it up.

Just say the word, and I'll
stay and give you a hand.

I wouldn't
dream of it.

I really
wouldn't mind.

Darrin, will you go out there
and lower your handicap

while the lowering
is good?

Talked me into it.

Bye-bye.
Bye.

I hope you get
a caddy that snickers.

Mommy, will you read
Mother Goose to me?

Oh, I can't, sweetheart.
I'm ironing Daddy's shirts.

Please. I love Mother Goose.

Then why don't you
read the pictures?

Okay, Mommy,
if you'll read the words.

Please?

Well, all right,
sweetheart.

But just for
a little while.

Well, all right,
sweetheart.

Let's see what
we can find here.

Oh!

Hey, this looks
like a good one.

"Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the
fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon.

"The little dog
laughed to see such sport,

"and the dish ran away
with the spoon."

Mommy, why did the dish
run away with the spoon?

Well, I guess it was...

Or maybe...

Well, let's see.

The dish ran away
with the spoon

because.

Because why?

Because.

Oh, dear. Your little
brother's awake,

and hungry.

He's not hungry, Mommy.
He's just crying for fun.

Want to hear me cry
louder than Adam?

Uh, no, thank you,
sweetheart.

I can!

Yes, I know.

And if you're not careful, you
may get a chance to prove it.

I was just
kidding, Mommy.

I know what, Tabitha.
While I check on Adam,

how would you like Esmeralda
to come and read to you?

I'd like that.

I thought so.

Yoo-hoo! Esmeralda?

Yes, Samantha?

Hi, Esmeralda.

Hi, Tabitha,
sweetheart.

Well, I'm glad you brought
your reading glasses.

Now could you just
bring the rest of you?

First, tell me
who else is at home.

Darrin is
playing golf.

Oh. Then I guess
it's safe.

Esmeralda, do you like
Mother Goose?

Does she like me?

I'm sure she would
if she met you.

If you'll read to Tabitha,
I'll tend to Adam's appetite.

I'd love to,
Samantha.

All right.

It's a good book for reading.
It has lots of pictures.

Yes, I see.

Hello?

Oh, hi, Mrs. Stephens.
How are you?

You are?

You do?

Right away?

Well, as a matter of fact,
I am rather busy.

Well,
if it's an emergency,

perhaps you better come over
and tell me about it.

Say, in a couple
of hours?

You're at the
corner drugstore?

Well, all right, Mrs.
Stephens. I'll expect you.

Bye-bye.

Oh, good grief.

Esmeralda,
who's Mother Goose?

Mother Goose?
Well, now, let me see.

Mother Goose was...

Mother Goose was...

Oh, dear me.
I've done it again.

I've just got to
knock off that sneezing.

Mother Goose!

Oh, yes. I'm Mother Goose.
But who are you, child?

You can't be Miss Muffet.
You have no tuffet.

I'm Tabitha.

How did I get here?

Well, you see, I'm a witch, but my
powers have sort of gone flooey.

So sometimes when
I sneeze or hiccup,

the involuntary act
generates abnormal powers

which materialize the
thought nearest my cerebellum.

I knew there would be
a simple explanation.

Mommy! Mommy!

What is it,
sweetheart?

Look who's here!

Oh, my goose! It's
Mother Stars. I mean...

How nice to see you,
Mistress Mary.

Are you quite
contrary?

I'll say I'm
quite contrary.

You're mad.

No, I'm just...
Mad.

I don't blame you.

I'm so embarrassed.

Oh! Esmeralda, please
don't go. I'll be right down.

Esmeralda,
come back.

She forgot
her glasses.

I say, that is
a good trick.

How does she
do it?

Well, she doesn't
exactly do it.

It's just something that
happens when she gets upset.

She gets upset a lot.

Oh, yes.

Well, would you mind
telling me where I am?

It's on the tip of my tongue,
but I just can't think of it.

You are in
the 20th century.

Oh, child, you jest.

No. No, no, no.
Esmeralda sneezed,

and you're here
because of witchcraft.

Well, I...

And in a moment,

Esmeralda will sneeze you
back into your book,

I hope. Yoo-hoo!
Esmeralda?

Excuse me,
but what book?

Why, your book
of nursery rhymes.

These are my rhymes!

As you can see.

Oh, how delightful!

And they said Hey
Diddle Diddle wouldn't last.

Well, what do they know?

Yoo-hoo!
Esmeralda?

Oh!

That's probably
Mother Hubbard.

I want you to stay out here
with Tabitha. Please?

Well, certainly.

Will you recite me
Hey Diddle Diddle?

Hi, Mrs. Stephens.

Hello, Samantha.

My, don't you
look nice.

Oh, thank you,
Samantha.

I'm so glad
you like my outfit.

I bought it
this morning.

Well, good for you.

Well, um, what's
the big emergency?

It's all over,
Samantha.

What is?

My marriage, dear.

I have left Frank
forever.

Again?

What happened?

What happened?

He's impossible.
That's what happened.

Oh.

Well, he must have been
impossible about something.

If he wants to live in the
past, that's his business.

I am a woman
of tomorrow,

and I intend to dress
like one, Samantha.

Oh, I see.

I take it he doesn't
like your new outfit.

Well, as a matter
of fact, he doesn't.

That can be
very irritating.

Luckily I have you
and Darrin to stay with.

Stay with?

Well, I wouldn't
dream of imposing

if you didn't have
that fabulous Esmeralda.

Oh, yes. Esmeralda.
She is a treasure, isn't she?

Fabulous. A treasure,
did someone say?

Oh, there you are.

Have you
been here long?

Oh, yes.
Yes, right along.

Imagine not
seeing a person

when that person has been
right next to you all along.

Imagine!

Would you excuse us
for just a minute?

Of course, dear.
I'll just sit and rest,

and try not to think
about anything.

Oh, I do like
your mother-in-law.

Yes, but a mother-in-law
and a Mother Goose

in the house
at the same time

are definitely
too much mother.

Well, just be patient.
Mother Goose will fade.

My spells always do,
you know, sooner or later.

Yes, yes, I know, but it's
the "later" that worries me,

when Darrin
gets home.

Should I make up
the guest room?

What for?

Your mother-in-law.

One thing we know
for sure, she's not going to fade.

That's comforting.

Yes. I guess you better
make up the guest room.

This is especially
good sherry.

Have some more.

If you insist.

You know, Samantha,
Esmeralda is really remarkable.

I could've sworn
there was no one there,

and then, all of a sudden,
there she was, out of the blue.

Esmeralda prides herself
on being unobtrusive.

I was just
wondering...

Oh, I didn't know
you had guests.

Mrs. Stephens,
this is my

aunt.

Your aunt?
Nonsense, child.

I'm Mother Goose.

And I'm
Little Bo-Peep.

But I thought you might
be Mother Hubbard.

Oh, no! No, no, no.

This is
Mrs. Stephens-in-law.

I mean,
my mother-in-law.

I was wondering if you might
have some curds and whey

for Little Miss Muffet
and me.

If you'll go out to the
kitchen, you'll find some.

Lovely.

In the refrigerator.

Icebox. Marked
"cottage cheese."

Cottage cheese.
How odd.

Mother Goose.

How odd.

Mrs. Stephens, you'll have
to excuse my aunt.

She really
does think she's Mother Goose.

Tell me something,
Samantha.

Is your whole family wacky?

As wacky as witches,
Mrs. Stephens.

Oh.

Oh, hi, Sam.
Hi.

Forgive me for
barging in like this,

but I know
Phyllis is here.

What makes you
think she's here?

She left this forwarding
address for the mailman

in a place where
I'd be sure to see it.

Where'd she leave it?

In my money clip.

That's so you'd remember to drop it
off when you went to the post office.

Goodbye.

Phyllis, I don't know why you're
so upset. I honestly don't.

That just shows you
how insensitive men are.

All I said about
your new outfit...

Frank, I know
what you said.

You said, "Now,
that's an outfit."

Well, it is
an outfit.

That is not what you meant when
you said, "Now, that's an outfit."

I meant
that's not an outfit?

Frank, you know very
well what you meant

and it wasn't
at all nice.

Now, if you'll
excuse me,

I'm going upstairs and have
one of my sick headaches.

Women.

I think they were
invented to confuse men.

And who might this gentleman
be? The Farmer in the Dell?

Oh, no. No, this is
my father-in-law.

This is my aunt, but her
friends call her Mother Goose.

Oh! I'm glad to meet
you, Mother Goose.

And I to meet you,
kind sir.

Well.

You know, there's a great deal to
be said for the old-fashioned lady.

What a pretty compliment.

Would you like to come out
into the garden with me

while I feed Miss Muffet
her curds and whey?

Uh, I wouldn't miss it.

[Darrin] Sam,
I'm home.

Just what I needed.

Little Boy Blue
to come blow his cool.

Well, that was
a quick 18 holes.

Larry forgot to reserve
our starting time.

We didn't even tee off.

Aw! Then you didn't
lower your handicap.

No. I just raised
my blood pressure.

Well, you didn't have
to leave home to do that.

Sam, what's wrong?

We have a small
disaster here, too.

To begin with,
your mother's here.

Well, I'd hardly call that
a disaster.

I said,
to begin with.

Your father's
here, too.

He's out
on the patio.

And what's so
terrible about that?

With Mother Goose.

What?

Well, it's nothing
to be concerned about.

Tabitha's chaperoning.

I know I'll hate myself
for asking, but

what's Mother Goose
doing here?

Well, I was reading to
Tabitha when Adam started to cry,

so I yoo-hooed for Esmeralda to
come over and read to Tabitha.

Then your mother called and said she
was coming over. And Esmeralda sneezed,

and all of a sudden, there was
Mother Goose and your mother.

Then your father
arrived.

If Mother Goose doesn't
fade out right away,

she can keep
Tabitha entertained.

I bet you've never heard "Jack Sprat
could eat no fat" as told by the author.

And how long are you gonna
let me talk before you kill me?

Really, sweetheart, you're going
to enjoy meeting Mother Goose.

And what does one say
when one meets Mother Goose?

Try, "Once upon a time."
She'll love that.

I sometimes wonder
what we'd do for kicks

if it weren't for the trouble
your family gets us into.

My family?
Now, just a minute.

The reason
we have a problem

is that your mother
had a fight with your father

and took refuge
in our house.

Okay, Samantha. Okay. It's my
family's fault, and I'll handle it.

Good.

With the direct
mortal approach.

I'm going out to the patio and tell my father
to go upstairs and take my mother home.

Gee,
I wish I had thought of that.

Read me another
one, please.

Oh, well.
Oh, here's one.

"Jack, be nimble.
Jack, be quick.

"Jack, jump over
the candlestick."

Hello, everybody. I
hope I'm not interrupting.

Hi.

Oh! Now, don't tell me.
Let me guess.

Georgie Porgie.
That's who you are.

Georgie Porgie.

He's not Georgie Porgie.
He's my daddy.

And he's interrupting
a delightful performance.

Dad, I have to talk to you.

It can wait.

How's Mrs. Stephens?

Oh, she's all settled in
nice and cozy,

and I think
I'm going to fade.

There's no need
for you to fade,

at least not until you've
gotten rid of Mother Goose.

You sure know
how to hurt a witch.

Just don't fade.

If it was your fault
that your father-in-law

was flirting
with Mother Goose,

and your mother-in-law was practically
passed out in the guest room,

what would you do?

Well, when you
put it that way...

Well, so much for the
direct mortal approach.

My father is so fascinated
with Mother Goose,

he wouldn't even
listen to me.

That may be
an idea.

Esmeralda, will you go get Tabitha
and take her up to her room?

This may be just the thing to
bring your mother to her senses.

Could you think that
through a little slower, please?

Well, when she sees
your father with Mother Goose,

she'll be the same
as any other wife, jealous.

My mother jealous
of Mother Goose?

Darrin, believe me.

You don't have to be a witch

to be wise
in the ways of wives.

Or something.

Come on.

Mother,
may we come in?

Oh, Darrin,
I'm so glad you're home.

A son can be such a comfort
to a poor, wretched mother.

How's your head?
Oh!

Don't ask, dear.

Why should I bore you with the
details of my throbbing pain?

I think what you need
is a little fresh air.

Uh-oh.

Uh-oh?

"Uh-oh"
what?

Uh-oh, uh-oh.

Do you think you could
choke down a little milk toast?

Samantha, I want to know
what you're uh-ohing about.

Uh...
Oh, nothing.

People do not
"uh-oh" about nothing.

Well, it's nothing
that would interest you.

Is that funny aunt
of yours still here?

Yes. As a matter of fact,
she's out on the patio.

With your
estranged husband.

Cute couple,
aren't they?

You know, I think I will try
just a bit of fresh air after all

for my headache.

But all in all, I've written well
over 500 rhymes for children.

I'm proud to say that
they're still popular.

Oh, yes, yes.

You know, one of my
favorites was...

How does it go now?

"Rub-a-dub-dub,
three men in a tub..."

One thing you can
say about Frank,

he's polite chatting with that
old lady about Rub-a-dub-dub.

Actually, one of
the very first I wrote

was about Jack Sprat
and his wife.

Would you like me to tell
you how that came to be?

Well, yes, I would.

But first,
let's talk about us.

Now, why did I say that?

You were gonna tell me
about Jack Sprat.

Well, you remember
how the line went,

"His wife
could eat no lean"?

Long-winded,
isn't she?

Mother Goose,
this is fascinating.

And perhaps you'll
tell me more

when we take a spin
in my new carriage.

That would be
delightful.

A spin in my new carriage?
I don't have a new carriage.

Your old one will do.

I don't even have
an old one.

Why go anyplace?

I enjoy your company
right here.

Do you mind?
Oh, not at all.

You know,
I've been thinking...

I'll bet you have,

about the new life
waiting for you.

New life?

Oh, yes.

After the divorce,
you'll get an exciting job.

Job?

Probably
in electronics.

I don't know anything
about electronics.

Oh, I'll bet
you can hardly wait.

Oh, I could wait
a little while.

Why wait?

You certainly don't have to worry
about how Dad's gonna take it.

Oh. He's gonna be very
happy with Mother Goose.

What I saw could not
possibly have happened.

What did you see?

Mother Goose just
changed into a goose.

It must be
the sherry.

That's Italian sherry,
very strong.

Oh, no. No, Samantha,
let's face facts.

I'm
starting to see things.

Mother Goose?

[Frank] Mother Goose,
where have you gone?

[Esmeralda] Oh, dear. I wonder
if I sneezed another no-no.

Another no-no.

Mother Goose.
Mother Goose.

It's all right.

We only think

we're seeing a pair of
glasses hanging in midair.

We only thought

we saw a pair of glasses
hanging in midair.

I only thought I was
talking to a goose.

Frank!

Frank.

Daddy Bear is here,
sweetheart.

Frank, I want
to apologize.

I don't want to be
the woman of tomorrow.

I just want
to enjoy today.

Oh, Phyllis, I'm glad
to hear you say that.

It may be later
than we think.

Frank, did you see
a goose on the patio?

I thought I did.

Then there's only one
thing to be said, dear.

If we're going
over the hill,

it's nice to be
going together.

They're only going
over the hill.

I'm going off
my rocker.

Yoo-hoo. Esmeralda?

Samantha,
what are you doing?

Well, I'm just trying to get
Esmeralda back so you can thank her.

For what?

Darrin, when your mother
arrived this afternoon,

she was a tragic figure,
her marriage beyond repair.

And now, thanks to Esmeralda, two
happy people just walked arm in arm

out of our front door
onto the...

Not one more word.