All language subtitles for Bewitched.S06E03.Samanthas.Caesar.Salad.Imprint.1080p.BluRay.FLAC2.0.H.264-BTN_track5_[eng]

Mommy, I'm full.

All right, sweetheart.
Just finish your milk.

Then can I have
a piece of candy?

Tabitha,
you know the rule.

If you have room for candy,
you can finish your lunch.

But I only have
a little room.

It's just big enough
for candy.

Please, Mommy,
just for a special treat.

Sorry, young lady.

But we're both gonna have
a special treat.

Daddy's coming home
for lunch.

Oh, goody! Daddy will
give me some candy.

Oh!

Oh, dear.

It was a accident,
Mommy.

Yes, of course.

Your father's
gonna be home any second,

and I don't have lunch
anywhere near ready.

Can I help, Mommy?

No, sweetheart.

But I know who can.

Esmeralda.

Yoo-hoo, Esmeralda.

Yes, Mrs. Stephens?

Hi, Esmeralda.

Hi, sweetheart.

Esmeralda, you don't have
anything to be nervous about.

Is Mr. Stephens home?

No.
Good.

But he'll be here
any minute.

Goodbye.

Esmeralda, you're being very
foolish. Mr. Stephens likes you.

A lot.

It's just that...

Well, he gets a little upset
when you fade out.

And I really do need
your help right now.

All right. What do
you want me to do?

Well, will you take Tabitha
upstairs and change her?

Why, sure. Who do you
want me to change her into?

I mean change her dress.

Oh.

I know what. Do you know
how to make a Caesar salad?

I certainly do.

Good. Well, you do that.
I'll take care of Tabitha.

Now, the lettuce
is all washed,

and everything you need's
right on the sink.

Come on, sweetheart.
Oh, what a mess.

Why don't we
change that upstairs?

Caesar salad.

Uh, it should be easy.

Ibbity, bibbity, salad greens,
oil, vinegar, ceci beans,

I call on Caesar's
eternal soul,

here and now
to fill this bowl.

Oops!

Don't tell me.

You're Caesar, right?

What manner of place
is this? How came I here?

I don't know
how came you here.

The important thing is
how do I get rid of you?

[Darrin] Sam? I'm home.

Oh, dear.

I, Caesar,
command you to reappear!

Your Excellency.

How do you do that?
Oh, I don't do it.

It just happens
when things go wrong.

Does it, uh,

happen very often?

A lot.

Can you tell your emperor
what he's doing here?

No, I can't, but as
long as you're here,

could I interest you
in making a Caesar salad?

A what?

Hi, sweetheart.
Hi.

Hungry?
Starved.

Good.

How come Larry let you off
in the middle of the day?

What do you mean? I can
come and go as I please.

I don't need his permission
for everything I do.

Okay, okay. Besides,
he's in Chicago.

My, you're in a good
mood today. Why not?

I've got a lovely wife, a beautiful
daughter, a new baby on the way...

And a maid that walks around
the house without any body.

Esmeralda, I told you there
was nothing to be nervous about.

That's what
you think.

Sam, would you mind warning
me when she's in the house?

Mrs. Stephens, could you come
into the kitchen for a minute?

You get that.
I'll get the catastrophe.

Esmeralda,
come back here!

[Esmeralda] All right.

Hello.

Larry!
Where are you?

[Larry] Never mind where I am.

What are you doing home
in the middle of the day?

Esmeralda, I'm sure it's
not as awful as you think.

Who's that?

Caesar.

I got him
instead of the salad.

That's awful!

See? I told you.

Darrin, I'll be at your house in
15 minutes. We've got work to do.

But, Larry...

Sam, I don't want to rush you,
but Larry will be...

What... What...
What's this?

It's not a "what."
It's a "who."

I'm afraid
it's all my fault.

This is Mr. Stephens.

Hi.

Hail.

Darrin,

that is Julius Caesar.

Why not?

I mean, sure.

I mean, if you have
a maid that fades out,

why not Julius Caesar
in your kitchen?

Darrin, Esmeralda's
gonna send him back

as soon as she can remember
how she got him here.

In the meantime, it's a
marvelous opportunity

to meet one of the great men of history
and learn about his life and times.

Sam, in the first place,
I read the play.

And in the second place,
Larry will be here any minute.

Now, look, Esmeralda,
you've got...

Enough of this
babbling.

I demand to know where I
am and how I came here.

Well, um, how you came here is
a little difficult to explain.

Do you know
what a witch is?

Someone with
unusual powers?

Oh, yes.
A soothsayer.

Yes. Well, Esmeralda is what
you would call a soothsayer.

Let's face it.
I'm a lousy soothsayer.

Aw! I wouldn't
say that.

Why not?

Well?

That's Larry.
Sam, do something.

I'll sneak him
upstairs

and put him in one of
your suits for the time being.

Why go to
all that trouble?

Roses are red, violets are blue,
let his suit appear on you.

Boy, have I got
a story to tell you.

And I'm sure you've got
something to tell me.

Oh! Oh, you mean
this. This, uh...

Well,
everybody's wearing them.

It's a new kind of
lounging outfit.

It's kind of...
Far-out, isn't it?

Oh, not for somebody who
wears gold leaves in their hair.

Huh?

Oh, yeah. Well, it goes
with the outfit. It's matched.

Would you excuse me, Larry, while I get
into something less comfortable? Hmm?

All right.

Who's the wise guy?

Oh, dear. I might have known
I couldn't do something right.

Will someone please remove
these absurd clothes?

They are binding.

Sam, Larry thinks
I've gone bananas.

Esmeralda, before you
fade out, you have to fix this.

I'll try.

Reverse the curse.

It worked.

I'll try to get Larry
into the den,

and you keep him
out of sight.

I've had nightmares
that made more sense.

I find this all
difficult to believe.

How do I know you're not
in league with my enemies?

I have many enemies,
you know.

Yes, I know. Some of your
best friends were enemies.

So when I found out
that Evelyn Charday

was going to be at this
cocktail party at the hotel,

I did everything I could
to get invited.

Oh, how did you
get invited?

I crashed.

Anyway, I met her.

And when she told me she
was flying to New York today

to line up a new agency,

I dropped everything and
hopped on the plane with her.

Why is she shopping
for another agency?

Charday's come up with a new
men's cologne called Top Tiger,

which so far is
a fabulous failure.

Anyway, we're having dinner
with her at my house tonight.

Which gives you
about six hours

to map out a campaign so dazzling
she'll fall into our arms.

Six hours?

Larry, I can't come up with
anything decent in that time.

I don't even know
the product.

Here's a bottle of Top Tiger.
Use it in good health.

Tonight.

And just for the record,
in case it comes up,

your wife is crazy
about Charday Lizard Oil.

Come on.
I'll help you get started.

Maybe if you see it in black
and white, you'll believe me.

There you are,
under "Memorable Dates."

"Julius Caesar.

"Formed first triumvirate with
Pompey and Crassus, 60 B.C.

"Defeated Helvetii,
58 B.C.

"Sent message to Roman
Senate, 'veni, vidi, vici.'

"I came, I saw,
I conquered.

"Lived with
Cleopatra in..."

Is nothing sacred?

"Was dictator
of Rome..."

Dictator? They dare
to describe me thus?

I, Caesar, who refused
the crown thrice?

This must be eradicated
from the pages of history.

Where do I go to get
this injustice rectified?

It's no use, Caesar.
You can't fight city hall.

I can.

I must.

I shall!

Yeah, well...
[Darrin] Sam?

Excuse me.

Listen, you better forget
about me for lunch and dinner.

Have you gotten rid
of, uh, Caesar?

No. But you know
something?

It's really thrilling
to listen to him.

Sure.

"Caesar assassinated in Roman
Senate by Brutus and Cassius."

Et tu, Cassius.

Can you summon me
a chariot?

Are you joking?

I can't even
make a Caesar salad.

I must go to city hall
and lodge a complaint.

Well, you could
take a taxi.

What, pray,
is a taxi?

It's a sort of
horseless chariot.

All you have to do is go
right through this door.

I thank you,
Esmeralda.

Oh, no, no, Your Excellency.
I should be thanking you.

Mr. and Mrs. Stephens are going to be
so happy when I tell them you've gone.

Farewell.

Bye, now.

Oh, and by the way,
if anybody asks you,

you're crazy about
Charday's Lizard Oil.

It's supposed to keep
you young. Ever try it?

Me? What for?

Sorry.
Lost my head.

I wonder how
Esmeralda's doing.

Let's take a look.

Where is he?
He's gone.

That's marvelous!

And about time.

How did you
manage to do it?

Simple. I just opened the
back door and out he walked.

What?

He said he had to
go to city hall.

Well, why did you
let him go?

You mean
I shouldn't have?

Oh, now, Esmeralda,
don't fade out.

You're the only one
who can help us.

You look out front.
I'll check the back.

Darrin, here's a thought.
Wait a second, Sam.

If we invite Evelyn
Charday here for dinner

instead of my house,

why, you could save
the driving time

and keep working
on the campaign.

But, Larry, it's only
five minutes to your house.

Yes, but with a thing like
this, every minute counts.

What sense does
that make? A lot.

Louise didn't expect
me back today.

She's having dinner
with her mother.

Fine. Excuse me.
I'll be right back.

Any sign of him?
No.

Oh, Sam, this
could be disastrous.

Somebody's bound to
find out who he is,

and how he got here, and...
Sweetheart, just calm down.

You go back in the house
and start working.

I'll get in the car
and look for him.

At least I know
where he's headed.

All right. Here you are,
Mac, city hall.

That's $2.40.

Hey, hey!
Wait! Wait a minute.

What kind of money
is this?

Those are
Roman sesterces.

Yeah? Well, if you ever get
to Rome, they'll come in handy,

but they're no good
to me.

Hey, Officer!

You mean gold
is of no value here?

Gold?

Gold?

All right,
what's the trouble?

Hmm?
What's the trouble?

Uh, trouble? No trouble.
No trouble at all.

Take care of
my friend here, will you?

Yeah.

You here for
the demonstration?

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Dig
this far-out, beautiful person.

Howdy, brother.

Hail!

This is a nonviolent
demonstration, pally.

We don't need no
extremists here, you dig?

Now, why don't you just take one
of these signs and join the march?

I did not come to march.
I came to protest.

And what do you think
we're doing here?

Playing ring-around
the Rosie?

I wish to speak
to the chief of the city.

You mean the Mayor.

Well, you can forget it, 'cause
he already refused to see us.

He will not refuse me.

He said he's going
to see the Mayor.

Now, that sounds official.
Let's follow him.

And where do you think
you're going? Inside.

Oh, no,
you're not.

I order you
to step aside.

Is that a fact?

Why don't you be
a good buddy

and get down
off the steps?

You dare to touch
the person of the imperator!

I just touched
your toga.

Touching my toga is tantamount
to touching my person.

Don't let him
hassle you, brother.

All right, you asked for it.
I'm gonna take you in.

I'll have you fed
to the lions.

Oh, boy.
Officer!

Please.
Let me explain.

I know this man, and
he's sort of a stranger here.

Well, he's certainly
dressed for the part.

[Samantha] You don't understand.

Well, why don't you
try and explain it to me?

Will you please tell
the officer who you are?

You mean
he doesn't know?

I am Julius Caesar,
Emperor of Rome.

Why don't you tell your friend that
being a wise guy isn't going to help?

No, no, Officer,
you don't get the point.

Not too many people
go around dressed like that

and call themselves
Julius Caesar.

There is only one Caesar,
and I am he.

You mean...
Exactly.

How did he get loose?

We weren't watching.

All right. You can
take him home.

Next time, try not
to be so careless.

Thank you.
Come along, Julius.

You dare to touch

the person of the imperator?
Yes, sorry. Sorry.

All right, the rest of you,
let's get off the steps.

Come on, move it off.

I will not put on
that absurd costume.

But we've got
company coming.

If they see you wandering
around dressed like that,

they're bound
to ask questions.

Good. I welcome an
opportunity to explain

how I have been maligned
in your history books.

Boy, have you got
a one-track mind.

Sam?

He won't put on the suit.
He won't even go upstairs.

Oh, well, that's all right.
We're working on another angle.

Esmeralda knows a spell
to go back in time.

Now, Caesar was born
in 102 B.C.,

so all she has to do is cast
a spell to go back to 103 B.C.

Oh, terrific. But can you
speed it up a little?

Our guests are due
any minute.

Oh, dear. Let me see
if I can remember it.

Oh, yes.

One, two,
buckle my shoe.

Three, four,
close the door.

Esmeralda?
Five, six... Yes?

That's a spell?

Well, it is if you hold
an ostrich feather in one hand

and the gizzard of
a lizard in the other.

Sorry I asked.

Well, we'll just
have to improvise.

Now, there's a bottle of
lizard oil on Darrin's desk.

If we're lucky,
it'll work.

Oh, they're here.

Now remember, whatever
happens, he's not to come out.

Sam, Darrin.
Hi, Larry.

I'd like you to meet a lady
who is a legend in her own time.

Miss Evelyn Charday. Oh,
really, Larry. You're too much.

Isn't he too much?
Oh, much too much.

Welcome to the club,
Miss Charday.

We're all fans
of Larry's.

Come on in. Have a
drink. Oh, why, thank you.

Oh, my.
What a lovely home.

101,102,
now the other spell undo.

103 and no more, Caesar,
return to days of yore.

Caesar, return
to days of yore.

Listen, you're supposed
to go back.

Not until I can remove
the blot on my name.

Oh, dear.

What do you think?

Should we pitch our ideas
for the campaign now

or wait till
after dinner?

Well, that depends.
Do you have any ideas?

Of course not.
I was counting on you.

Well, then let's wait
till after dinner,

maybe I'll think of
something by then.

What?

Well, here we are.

Oh, how nice.
Thank you.

Psst!

Excuse me.
Yes, of course.

Larry?
Oh, thank you, Darrin.

We have a problem,
all right.

As long as he refuses to
go back, the spell won't work.

You mean we're stuck
with him forever?

We have to make him
want to go back.

Tempt him.
Good idea.

How?

There's only one way
I can think of.

What's going on
out there? Where?

Oh, in there? Oh. nothing,
nothing. Nothing at all.

Uh, and I think
I'll take a look.

Caesar, for the last time, will you
go back to the pages of history?

I refuse.

Very well.

I guess I'll just
have to show you

what you'll be missing
if you don't go back.

Cleopatra,
my love.

Julius, my conqueror.

Sam, my...

What is the big idea?

Well, I had to
tempt him to go back.

Larry, when am I going to hear all those
brilliant ideas for my new cologne?

Why, uh...

Wouldn't you rather wait
until after dinner?

No.
Oh.

Let's go see
what's going on in there.

I don't think you'll have any
trouble with the spell now.

101,102...

Listen, what's
going on...

Oh, Larry, you
spoiled the whole thing.

Oh, yes.
You spoiled it.

What'd he spoil?

The thing. Oh, yes,
the whole thing.

[Samantha] Darrin wasn't
quite ready. Were you, Darrin?

[Darrin] Oh, no.
Nowhere near ready.

Larry, you sly, gray fox, you led
me right into this, didn't you?

Well, I...

We... We wanted to
spring it on you.

Well, Darrin,
spring it.

Oh, yes. Well...

Uh, well, it's...
It's the first...

How can I put it?

It's the first in a series of
full-page ads of great romances

featuring Top Tiger cologne.

Personally,
I love this idea.

Evelyn, now you've seen the
picture, now for the caption.

"Top Tiger cologne,

"the reason why Cleopatra
let Julius seize her."

Oh, brother.

"Let Julius seize her."

Darrin, you have labored
and brought forth a mouse.

That's absolutely
marvelous!

And what a mouse.

Darrin, you've
done it again.

I have an idea
for a caption.

"Put a tiger
in your toga."

How about
serving dinner?

Sure. Shall we?

Larry, I must say
you people have style.

I think we're in business.
[Larry] Thank you.

Esmeralda, it's all
yours. So long, Caesar.

Hail and farewell!

And, uh,

thanks.

Sam?
Yes, sweetheart?

Look at this.

"Cab driver receives fortune in old
Roman coins from unidentified hippie."

That must be the cab driver
who took Caesar downtown.

Mmm-hmm. I don't know why
he couldn't have dropped

some of those old coins
around here.

For Tabitha.

Considering he helped you
get the Charday account,

I think he did
very well by you.

How'd the meeting go?
Like silk.

She flipped over the whole
idea of a sales campaign

based on great romances
of history.

Speaking of
great romances...

Incidentally, you asked me
to warn you, so I am.

Esmeralda's still here.
She's recovering, sort of.

I hope you didn't give her
anything too complicated to do.

Oh, no, sweetheart. She's making
a simple hearts of palm salad.

All she has to do
is open a can.

Good.

Well, I guess
I'll go upstairs and...

Sam!

Well, I guess
I'll just have to face it.

With Esmeralda,
nothing's simple.