All language subtitles for The.Real.Housewives.of.Rhode.Island.S01E08.Splitting.Hairs.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-playWEB_track3_[eng]

Previously on "The Real
Housewives of Rhode Island"...

I appreciated you asking me
to do the haircut.

You never posted anything.

Well, we never took any
pictures of it.

- It doesn't matter.
- It's not my job to take

a picture of the back of
my----ing head, Kelsey!

You, like, exaggerate things.

Like, yeah, me and Rich are
building, like,

an 8,000-square-foot house.

You're attacking my house?
You don't have a house.

I genuinely do want to make
a connection with you.

I wanna be friends.

A lot of things were said
that were very hurtful,

but I wanna move forward.

I'm starting my life
completely over.

The last thing I wanna worry
about is Rosie.

As a child, my mom sent me away
to a behavioral program.

I remember that.

And so, I get sent away
three times.

Third place was the worst.

That was the one that
my mom ended up giving

partial custody to the state.

It hurts a lot to have no one
that loves you growing up.

Rulla, she's like, you know,
get me proof.

This is bad.

What are we gonna do?

I think she needs to see
the video.

You're very close with her.

I don't want to be the one
to share it with Rulla.

I don't, like, wanna, like,
break her heart again.

Who needs a sugar daddy

when my life is this sweet?

I have a blessed life

and I'm a loyal wife.

Why settle for just a slice

when you can have
the whole damn pie.

My life is like a romcom,

when I'm not crying,
I'm laughing.

I used to report the news,

but now, I'm the headline.

I'm not trying to be mean,

I just mean what I say.

In the Ocean State,

I dispense the weed
and the truth.

What do you want for lunch,
my baby?

Chicken tenders.

Your favorite.

You're going to turn into
chicken and fries

'cause you eat those
every day.

No, I don't.
- Oh, my God. Okay.

Don't get it on the couch, please.

Do not wipe your hands on
the white carpet.

I mean, in what world?

I expect that of your sisters,
but not of you.

Ganji, wanna go for a walk
with mom?

How long is this
gonna take, Liz?

This will take no time.
Go ahead, sweetheart.

Go ahead. It's fine.

You ready to do this?

Ready to take your car
'cause you gotta start

driving it 'cause you have
like 2,000 miles on it

and it's like
almost a year old.

Look, Billy,
there's a four leaf clover.

Billy!
- What?

Come look. Hurry up.
It's good luck.

Quick, there's a four leaf
clover. I want you to look.

That's a weed.

- No, it's not.
- That's a weed.

Yeah, it's probably
poison ivy.

Do not touch it.
Don't touch it.

Why would we have poison ivy?

I don't know what it is,
but it's not a four leaf clover.

I've never seen that before.

- That is not a four leaf clover.
- Yes, it is, Billy.

I'm gonna do a quick cracker
before I get started.

See, I already get nervous.

There's nothing to be
nervous about.

No, because you're too serious.

What do you want me to do?

We gotta go over here.
We have to do this. Ugh.

I just-- I'll do whatever
it takes so you can drive

to pick up Celina from dance
or drop her off.

Celina dances five days a week
then Billy's always

doing something,
he's an entrepreneur.

So, like, I have to start
driving my daughter

to her dance school.

But, like, I got some issues
for driving bad.

I can't breathe, I feel like
I'm suffocating, I get dizzy,

I feel like I'm gonna
throw up,

and I almost feel like
I can't feel my hands.

I can't help that
I have a fear.

That bridge is like,
it's crazy.

I understand but--
- I hate that I can't

pick her up.
- I think you have to tap

you have to, like,
take on your fears.

I need to have all of
my crackers

in case I feel like
I'm gonna faint.

I have rose water spray
to wake myself up

'cause it's cold.

I have peppermint oil
to help me focus.

And gum.

Those are all my things
that I usually have

when I drive
and a good playlist, of course.

All right,
you ready to do this?

- Whatever.
- Great.

So you gotta, like, listen.

You're already
giving me orders.

I'm not giving you orders.

Just follow the--
the signs.

There's signs everywhere.

What the frick?

There's about
thousands of signs.

All right, so once I'm on
the highway, I'll tell you,

I want to hear about your trip.
- My trip? I didn't go on a trip.

Well, when I--

I FaceTimed you guys, right?
- Yeah.

You saw that creepy doll
in the bed with you.

Celina, she was like, mom,
why would you have a tea party

with dolls without me?

It is kind of weird that you...

That was just a part
of the trip.

And then, you know, with Liz.

She, like, attacked me,
like, crazy.

My father left us homeless.

You were never homeless
in your life.

My blood was rushing because
it was like not called for.

It was like upsetting,
you know?

I'm not over it, but--
- I think because you know her.

That's the thing.
That's what's tricky about it.

Like, you've known her
since you were born.

I was a kid and I like,
her sister, it's hard for me

because I respect her
and I like,

I do put her on a pedastal.

So I think it comes at me
stronger.

That was a stop sign.
That was another one.

Why do they do two in a row?

All you can do is kind of
control your reaction to it.

You can't control other people.

- Thank you, Billy.
- You're welcome.

You're very deep.

I didn't tell you about
Rulla and Brian.

So the end of the trip,
Jo-Ellen shows me a video

of Brian with the mistress
cheating on her.

Hugging her for about
five minutes.

That was last week.
- How do you know?

'Cause it said the date on it.

You can see the entire video.
- You can make up the date

on something.
- That's what I said, too,

but no, he was like, Billy,
it was new, it was new.

I really hate these bumps
over here.

- They're speed bumps.
- My tires.

It's all right.

And then Jo-Ellen was like,
you know, the dramatics.

Alicia, I want you to deal
with this.

What are you gonna do
with this video?

I don't know what I want to do
with the information

'cause I gotta be honest
with you,

she's obviously stressed out,
I don't wanna kick someone

when they're down.

That, like, kills me.

Then you should do what
you feel is right.

I just feel like just
for a little bit,

I wanna feel the temperature
of them still.

To see if they're like,
you know what I mean?

I don't want to get--
it's too messy.

And they have children.

If there was a video of Billy,
like the one about Brian,

I would definitely want
one of my friends

to tell me, but I think Rulla
will not be okay.

If she see this video
or finds out about it,

that's embarrassing, it's,
you know,

the father of her kids.

And that's that.
That was my trip.

- Sounds emotionally draining.
- I know.

Did you guys get to
relax at all?

Um... not really.

This is the part. Tell them
not to go behind that again.

I'm like sweaty already.

There's no bridge yet.

It's coming up.

I gotta take off my sunglasses.

This is what Celina does
with me and she cries.

She cries?

She's like, mommy, it's okay.
Breathe.

You're almost there.
It's like torturous.

All right. Deep breaths.

Ah! I'm gonna pee my pants.
Wait a minute.

But you did it, that's it.

- They changed it.
- That was it.

So guess who's doing drop offs
and pick offs?

Let's not-- yeah.
Let's just baby steps.

Are you ready?

We're gonna go for a walk
with Richie.

And I gotta say, your diet
is really paying off.

Okay, let's go downstairs.

Let's go outside!

Rich?
- Yeah.

What are you doing?

They left a little bit
of a mess.

Me and Rich are in the process
of building a 5,000-square-foot

addition to our home.

But right now, it's just
a massive hole in the ground.

That just takes forever, huh?
- Yeah, it's a process,

but it's going pretty good.

We started digging, but then
we found a bunch of

boulders so that took
three weeks instead of one.

Then we poured the foundation
and there was like an issue

with that, now we're framing
and went tricing.

Then I'll start decorating.

So the fun part isn't even
starting any time soon.

I don't know what we're gonna do
with this big hole.

Well, now we have to
back fill it.

So we're gonna take the dirt
here and put it up against here.

I might have to record you
saying all this

and bring it to the next
group event.

- Why?
- Well, they're always trying to

discredit me with, like,
the newest thing was

this isn't even a real project
and we don't have any money.

So I was like okay.

Well, maybe they can help us
back fill.

They can get a shovel--
- Everybody get a shovel!

Get a shovel.

Well, can we look at it later
'cause I told Clemmy

we'd go on a walk.

I wanna wear my moon boots.

They're technically
for children.

- Oh, my God. Clemmy.
- As she sh-- in the middle--

Clemmy, Clemmy.

Can't wait to do this
on the walk?

In your princess dress? You
couldn't hold it until after?

Come on, Clemmy.
Let's get your cardio in.

This is how you do it.

It's not the speed,
it's the movement.

I forgot to tell you, Kelsey,

she's moving into an apartment
and the old guy

that she cheated on with
the new guy--

- Yeah.
- ...who she saw like once

a month even when they were
together is paying for it.

But I'm the problem.

Like, how do you
make your money?

Like give me a----ing break.

But not for nothing, like,
why does Kelsey care

so much about my house when
she doesn't even have

a----ing house?
- It's projection.

How did things with Kelsey
turn good because

last I talked it was not great.

Can you stop?

Um, so she was just trying to
say that, like, I've just never

tried with her and I explained
all the ways that

I have done and--

She's rolling around in like
dog poop.

Clemmy!

Clemmy.

That is not what
a princess does.

We basically agreed that we
probably have a lot more

in common than we have
differences and that

we should just like
try to have fun.

Kind of made up it sounds
like a little bit.

Maybe you guys should do
something together like--

I'm gonna ask her
to cut my hair again.

Okay.

And this time, I'll make
sure to post it.

I'd be more than happy to
post her all over my Instagram.

She can give me a new haircut.

Help her out with
her new business.

But just be a friend to me back.
Be nice to me back.

Get to know me back.

It's not that hard.

I'm doing everything I need to
do to keep everybody happy

and then it's whoa!

If that happens again
and it's unjustified,

give them hell, speak your
truth, and go at them.

'Cause they don't respect you,

they're just walking
all over you

and if you don't push back
at a certain point,

they're going to continue
to do it.

Well, we're getting to the point
where I am kind of

about to freak the [bleep] out.
- Mm-hmm.

Coming up...

What is that?

- Hi. Come on in.
- This is nice.

Wow.

- What do you think, mom?
- I love it. Kelsey.

It's not 16,000 square feet.

Not anything near that,
but it's spacious.

Nice living room,
family room.

This is about the size of
your closet.

But it'll do.

I moved out of my ex's house
right before the Newport trip.

The relationship has, like,
run its course.

There's like nothing more
that's gonna be like

different than like
what it is now.

I'm happy that my mom
and my sister are here to help

because I'm used to assistance
from everybody, really.

Is it just
the bedroom upstairs?

Bedroom and closet.

My bed used to be made,
this,

I gotta roll up the carpet.

Is your vanity staying there?

I don't have anywhere else
to put it.

I used to have someone
who was always doing my laundry,

making the bed,
we had a live-in chef.

We had a driver.

So it was always somebody
doing things for me

all the time.

The pool boy.

You go that way.
- That’s heavy, Kels.

So to go from that to this
is like

a very big adjustment for me.

Oh, jeez.

You couldn't have paid extra for
it to be put together already?

You know I usually have dad
do this stuff.

How much is, um, the rent?

I'm not paying for it.

Wait, you're not paying for it?

- No, I'm not paying for it.
- Who's paying for it?

Not for now. Who do you
think's paying for it?

My ex.
- Your ex is paying for it?

Yes.

At least for now.
- How come you didn't tell me?

'Cause you're so nosy.

Does he pay anything else?

My health insurance
and my car insurance.

Wait, could I sit?

Sit 'cause you're not doing
any work anyway.

Can I sit?
I'm gonna watch you.

This will be the first time
I've ever lived on my own.

I haven't had bills
in 10 years.

So my ex is offering to pay
for my apartment.

What am I gonna say? No?

Do you wanna be financially
independent from him?

Eventually.

This is not something that

I expect him to keep paying
for forever.

And just because
I wasn't "married"

doesn't mean that I'm not
entitled to

support from somebody who I
spent 10 years of my life with.

I could've moved into Bill's
house. I didn't want to.

I wanted to feel what it was
like to live on my own.

- Mm-hmm.
- I needed to do it on my own.

Well, it's a learning
experience

and it's a growth thing.

You had many years with him so.

It's a whole new change
in your life.

As you get older, things
change and what not but.

Look at you change,
people change.

When you're 20 years old
versus 30.

Twenty years, you're at
a vulnerable age, you're young.

Well, no, I was young.
I didn't care about

what I wanted in my 30s
when I was that.

And I still want-- I mean.

You don't know if you
want marriage or--

No. I do. I just wanna make sure
it was the right person.

I wasn't just leaving
for anybody.

Do you see it with Billy?
Do you see a future with him?

Yeah.
- Hello, girls.

Hi, Bill.

You brought the tools.

Here, come take over, please.

I don't wanna take over.

- Hey, Bill.
- I'm Bob the Builder.

My parents never approved
of my relationship with my ex.

They definitely accepted it
to a certain degree.

They just knew that my ex,
he wasn't gonna give me

a baby and that, to my mother,
is the holy grail.

Can you see 'cause
it's driving me nuts.

Please.
- You'll come to the rescue

for the most part.
- I know. I have to do this.

But the last thing I want
in this very moment

is to blow up like a tick
and be pregnant.

I want to be on my own,
I want to feel like

what it's like to be like
independent at least for a year

for my own like piece of mind.

So she needs to slow her roll.

My car's sh---ing the bed so
I think I gotta get a new one.

Yeah, we're excited about that.

- Gonna sell it?
- I'd like for her to sell it.

And then get her into something.
- Getting rid of the car,

it's one less thing that
my ex pays for.

That's why he wants me
to get rid of it.

- Aw. See?
- Yeah, exactly.

Then you're gonna pay, Billy?

She wants a Bentley.

Can I get a Lambo Urus?

- Let me see what else I can get.
- I'll jump right on it.

Ooh!

- Don't shake it.
- Don't shake it?

How do you do it?

Can you show her how
to do it, Dawson?

Okay, breathe deep.

You can do it. Breathe...

One more deep breath.
Okay, I think you're good now.

Thank you, Dawson.

Ugh, I'm already exhausted.
How am I supposed to work now?

Obviously, Lizzy,
Dawson is feeling much better.

Yeah, jeez, I didn't even
realize he was sick.

His turn around
was very quick.

My son Dawson had
cold-induced asthma.

They're just taking Dawson
to the emergency room.

All right, sorry.
I'm always crying.

- Don't feel bad.
- It's okay.

I was so grateful that I was
in Newport

just like a half an hour away
and I was able to go

and be with him.

Been here for
about four hours now.

Just waiting to see
the medicine kick in.

It could've been so much worse.
Thank goodness my mom was here.

Ooh, this is
your favorite book.

A book about all seasons.
Here, you got chocolate.

You got chocolate.
Right there, silly.

At 37 years old, I honestly
still so reliant on my parents.

Mom.

Thank you for
bringing him down, mom.

- Yeah.
- Dawson, I love you.

Oh, we're just gonna stay here.
You're gonna go to the basement.

You're gonna have fun.

I didn't even tell you.

My Newport trip with the ladies.

The trip was,
like, overall pretty fun.

We had this gigantic slide.

Do you guys,
like, feel like you're,

like, more assimilated?
- Getting there, for sure.

I had a pretty good time
on this trip.

I think that
I'm making strides,

making friends here in
Rhode Island.

I feel like I'm inching
my way closer.

Come hang out
with us sometime.

You're so grown up with your,
like,

adult group of friends.

So speaking of that,
I have a reel to do, and I would

love if you could help
me shoot since Jared's gone.

It's fun for
a house fragrance company.

So when does
Jared do these?

Does he even
have time with Audrey's?

Not really.
He puts them off.

This is, like,
one of our things that we're so

different, and I'm always

trying to encourage him to do,
like, more organic content.

I really would
like him to just

try to find a niche
that he's passionate about on

Instagram, just because he has
such a big following already.

And I want him to use it
because obviously, it's more

lucrative than Audrey's
will ever be, and he knows this.

Yeah.

I'm always on
Jared for engagement.

We have multiple deals a year

that are worth more
than what Jared nets at

Audrey's in a year,
and that's an understatement.

Wouldn't you just
rather put some more effort into

something that, like,
we can make more money with?

That's kind of my bugaboo with
him spending so much time at

Audrey's, however, I don't need
the money of Jared using his

very attractive looks to make
more on Instagram. That's okay.

All right, guys,
I'm gonna read these smells off.

Cinnamon cider,
pumpkin sweet vanilla,

honeycrisp oakwood.

These are just a few of the fall
harvest scents.

Sorry, I just----ed that up.

- Were you not recording that?
- This is so much pressure.

- Wait, what?
- Sorry.

Oh, mother effer.

Coming up...

What was, like,
the worst thing that I did?

Jo-Ellen, your behavior
was out of control.

What was it?
What was so bad?

You were like, you know what?

No, she's better off in
somebody else's hands.

The lies.

After everything you----ing
done to me,

you think this is funny?
- What I did to you?

What have I done to you, bitch?

I've literally never
done anything to you.

Are you----ing kidding me
right now?

Walking into my grandpa's
house is heartbreaking because

there were so many memories
of Christmases, family events.

Hi, sissy.

- Hi.
- Hi, Mom.

Oh, my gosh.
I haven't seen it since

It's all been ripped out.
- Hi. How are you?

I'm good.
Let me put these down.

No.

My grandfather was
always a father figure

to me, so it's hard going

in here without him there.

Memories.

Oh, my God.
This is your old bedroom.

Mom, do you remember, like,
Jen, you were here. I was here.

And then
you took Jen with you and let

her move into the house.
and you left me here with Grammy

and Grandpa for,
like, a couple more weeks.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I would love for my mom to
be just the way my grandpa was,

but my mom wasn't as maternal,
nor was my grandmother.

Want to sit here
and look at the pictures?

Yeah.

I think that her mom
didn't know how to show

her love, and it's just been
brought down from generation to

generation, and so I'm
just trying to break the cycle.

That was your
Halloween costume.

You were a nun.
- Because I was an angel.

Not.

Oh, look at
you with Bill Clinton.

Did he try to hook up with you?
- No.

- What were you dressed as there?
- That's not me. It's Jen.

Oh. Wrong kid, sorry.

You think I'm mean?
- You weren't nice.

I'll say that.
- Jen loves me.

But you weren't nice
growing up.

You weren't.

- And you were?
- I'm not the parent.

Like, I don't need to.

You should
have showed me how to be,

like, respectful and kind.

Because now I'm not.

I hate that about me.

- Do you get it from me?
- I mean, if the shoe fits.

She's saying I was mean.
- Mom.

Oh, no.
- You make believe

that you didn't hurt me
my whole life.

And you're blaming me for

the behaviors that you exhibited
in your childhood.

No, that's not what I said.

You sent
me away in seventh grade

and then eighth
grade and then ninth grade.

But what was, like,
the worst thing that I did?

Jo-Ellen, your behavior
was out of control.

You were like, no, she's better
off in somebody else's hands.

- The lies.
- About what?

About being with
people that you weren't

supposed to be with.

- Like who? Being with boys?
- Yeah.

That's, like,
what teenagers do.

And you would always say,
like, no, like, you're bipolar.

You're this. I'm not bipolar.

I was definitely
depressed as a child.

That's not, like, something

that you send your kid to,
like, a place with,

like, drug addicts
when I had never done drugs.

Well, I apologize
now if I hurt you.

I didn't do it intentionally.

Trying to get... everything.

A lot of times I just
had too much on my plate

at one time,
and it was overwhelming.

Why didn't you ever,
like, love me?

I loved you.
If I didn't show it,

it's because
that's how I was raised.

Let me give you an example
of me growing up, all right?

How my mom treated me.

One night, they surprised us
and came home early,

and I ran up the stairs,

and I hit my head, my eye on

the headboard, and I was
bleeding all over the place.

You know what my mother said?

My floors. My floors. I just
had them cleaned. My floors.

My floors, not my eye.

I'm bleeding, and
I have to go get six stitches.

So you didn't feel loved?

- You didn't feel loved?
- No.

Do you think that you kind
of became your mom?

I do think a lot of me
was like my mom.

That's how I was brought up,

and that's how
I was bringing you up.

And I did try to
change as you got older.

I know that you did the best
that you could at the time.

We had a tough childhood.
Like, there was points

like there was no way out.
- I felt the same way.

I don't think
you realize that, like,

the person that you were
shaped who we became.

It's hard as
an adult to look back on that.

And no matter how
much therapy I've had,

I feel like I'm broken,

but, like, I love my kids more
than anyone in the whole world.

And I just wish
that you loved us that way.

I wish you put Jen and me

in that, like,
most important category.

It doesn't make me feel good to
know that I've done the damage

to you that I've done.

And it breaks my heart.

I promise to give it my

all to try to be
a better parent

and to be there for
you and your children.

Are you willing to
forgive her?

If you want to work on us,

I need you to realize
you have two daughters and three

grandchildren who need you.

And it's not about babysitting.
It's about spending time.

Let's learn how to cook.
Let's do things together.

I don't know. I need
you to be there for me.

To figure out--
- I love you.

You know I love you.
- I love you.

For my mom to say to me,
I want to be a better mother

and a better
grandmother to my kids.

I have been waiting
for this my entire life.

My whole entire life.

I love you, too.

You made us strong, Mom.
We'll give you that.

You made us strong.
- You made me a bitch.

Coming up...

Hey, guys.

How's it going?
Come on in.

So gorgeous.

Absolutely beautiful.
Thank you for having us over.

I love hanging out with Rulla,
but knowing about the video,

seeing Brian, I feel
like I'm carrying a poster.

Like, I know. I know
what you did last week.

Like, I just can't hide it.

- Hi, guys.
- Hey, Liz.

What you doing?

- Building the short path.
- How cool is that?

You know, this is my
favorite room in the building.

It's where
the magic happens, right?

- Yeah.
- What are you up to?

We got Dolores coming in today.

We finally have
a product we can try, right?

Gerry and I own a cannabis
dispensary, and we developed so

many products,
not only THC, but other

components of the plant.

I'm excited for her
to see the lab.

She's never been back here.

This is where
the science happened.

- That's it.
- That's so cool.

Oh, she is now.
Let me go get her. Hi.

Are you here?
- Yeah.

It's like Fort Knox.
I can't get in.

Oh, I need one of my
little fobs to get you.

I'm gonna get you a fob.
You'll have your own fob.

We're gonna get right to it.
And taste test.

Look what you've made.

After countless
hours of bitching about what

we were going through...

I came across as an old,
bitter witch.

No.
It was a menopause moment.

Hormones are all over the place,
people. Patients are gone.

Dolores and I thought,

let's develop
a menopause gummy.

I'll take these over
to the lab.

Through Frank,
Dolores has been involved

in cannabis
for a few years now.

So we wanted
to create this product

that can
address all these negative

symptoms of menopause.

'Cause it's rough,
it's turbulent.

- So this is the lab.
- Hi.

- Hi, there.
- This is so cool.

Looks like something out
of a movie.

- Shaun.
- Nice to meet you.

- This is Dolores.
- How are you?

- Nice to meet you.
- So you're the brains behind it?

I guess I am.

I think
it's going to be a really

big help for
a lot of people who need

this gummy right here.
- Yeah, we're definitely looking

for relief of symptoms.

- You want to try them out?
- Let's try them out.

It's like a jello shot.
Cheers.

Cheers.

I'm so excited to
finally have this test product.

I mean, what
better place to do it?

Rhode Island is the first
state in the US to actually

make menopausal
women a protected class in

the workplace.

It's synergistic,

Really good.

- They're actually delicious.
- The flavor's perfect.

And I'm in my glory right
now because I have my Dolores.

She's got these connections,
and she can put it out.

Plus, plus, win, win.

They have the perfect
amount of tartness to balance.

- Yeah.
- We do not change.

I would not change
the taste on this at all.

It's amazing.
- Effects wise, goal wise.

- Feel a little relaxed.
- That's good.

All right,
I'm gonna start loading this

machine up over here with oil,
and then I'll talk to you later.

All right?
- Menopause.

It hit me so hard,
it nearly killed me.

I got so mental.

I lost weight. I went
down to like 105 pounds.

Like, I was.
It was not normal.

It was not a good look.
I couldn't get out of bed.

I couldn't focus.

You think it's
everyone and not you.

It's so bad, you don't
even know yourself anymore.

You start to
rethink your entire life.

You don't recognize yourself.
Like, I used to be a wordsmith.

Now I can't even remember
sometimes the simplest things.

Walking, swelling.

Look at my feet.
They look like a bag of dicks.

Why are they so big?

Me and Paul
almost broke up over it.

We were literally fist
fighting over the thermostat.

"The change."

Oh, the change. You never
even heard the menopause.

"The change."
I'm the change.

Let's be honest.
- I haven't felt this

good in a long time.

- This look even, B?
- Yeah, it looks great.

Okay, this is, like,
where some of my OCD sets in.

That's right.

I'm ready for a cocktail.

Yeah, we'll wait for them.
They'd be ignorant if we're...

Drinking before they walk in?

I've already had,
like, two shots of tequila, so,

you know,
take the edge off a little.

We are having Billy
and Alicia over for dinner.

I'm excited just to have
some company and let loose.

I mean, I was very sick in bed,
and between my hospital visits,

it's been more than
a minute since I've had a drink.

What are we eating tonight?

What's the pasta
that we're doing tonight?

Cacio e pepe.

Cacio e pepe
with the bucatini.

That's my favorite.
Bucatini? Yeah.

- Filet mignon.
- And then we have beautiful

desserts.
- I love Newport.

It's one of my favorite
places to spend time in.

So I felt like
I missed out a little bit.

But there's just been
too much negative energy

surrounding Jo-Ellen and even
some other friends in the group.

The thing is, Jo-Ellen's
friends with the wrong people.

You gotta stop.
Whatever Jo-Ellen is good.

You know what it is?
She keeps showing me things...

Would I have been excited

about being
trapped in a castle

for a couple
nights with the group?

Probably not.
I'd rather be in my own castle.

Watch your hand to me so I can
get you out.

It doesn't have
to be such a project.

Yeah. I got a hold of
two bottles of champagne.

- Hello.
- Hey, guys.

How's it going?
Come on in.

So gorgeous.
Absolutely beautiful.

Thank you for having us over.

- I'm glad you're here.
- This is so beautiful.

- Been anxiously awaiting you.
- My pleasure.

I love hanging out with Rulla,
but I don't want

to give her the bad
news about this video.

- Thanks for having us.
- I feel like being in her house,

I want to die. I feel like I'm
carrying a poster. Like, I know.

I know what you did last week.

I saw the time, the date.
Like, I just can't hide it.

You guys should feel privileged.

You're using the company room.
- Big deal.

I've used this, like,
three times in five years.

I'm dead.

I'm feeling
very uneasy because,

like, I really want
to enjoy Brian and Rulla,

and I really want them
to work on their marriage.

But, like, I just feel guilty.

Oh, my God, that menu
looks great.

Thank you.

I'm gonna get yelled
at for eating too much.

Oh, no, you have to eat tonight.

We're here for mangia,
mangia, mangia.

How's Pizza Mamma?
- Good.

Can tell it's not from
a can because I don't get

heartburn from it. Like,
I can eat your pizza fine.

You know, even at midnight
when I come home.

Yeah, no,
it is really good.

No, he wouldn't lie.
Trust me.

No, I wouldn't lie.

So, wait,
so I need to get Botox,

but I don't know
when to fit in my schedule.

Do you do that?
You have place, too?

- Yeah, we do everything.
- They do it at their place.

The Back Spot is
Rhode Island foot care.

The front part is
Rhode Island Aesthetics.

So you do everything?
- Oh, I didn't know that.

Wow, I'll go to you guys.
- Plus, I'll charge you less.

Do you go?

- Of course.
- So lucky.

See, here I am getting
fat off the pizza restaurants.

At least when I get botox...

Like, she laughs
at me like a genetically

modified organism.
She's like,

I feel like I'm getting fat,

so I sell Ozempic, so I'll take
a little Ozempic.

- I can't.
- Then I feel like I lost

a little muscle,
so I'll take, like, steroids.

Then I feel
like I need a little Botox.

So, like,
every day I'm doing something.

She goes,
did you do something?

I said, well, yeah.
I sell this sh--,

like, I might
as well do it, you know?

I've been on Ozempic for,
like, two years.

I microdose it.

This is
incredible information.

I think the two
shots of tequila he took

before you guys
got here have got him.

Oh, no, this is true.

I'm dropping science on her.
I'm dropping science.

I'm, like, having
science class class right now.

I'm so jealous. So wait,
Can I ask you a question?

Why are you jealous?
You don't need Ozempic.

I know what you mean, though.

Please, I need him to just
be quiet when he comes back.

He needs to
give everybody else a turn.

He's all excited tonight.

Hey, sorry, guys. I had
a work call I had to take.

But it's all good.
Now we can have fun.

Wait, I thought
he went to the bathroom.

Maybe someone's having
a problem with their foot.

Maybe. You know, I give
this guy too much credit, Brian.

All right, dig in,
dig in so it doesn't get cold.

Billy's been dying for this.

That's not vodka, is it?
- Of course it is.

Listen, listen.

I'm home.
I don't have much to drive.

How long did you guys
date before you got married?

- Three years.
- It's an interesting story.

Yeah, we met in 2013.

What happened was
I met her at Jackie's,

and like I said,
what do you want to drink?

So she told me.
So I ordered my drink,

then I ordered hers,
and I said to the guy,

make hers a double, right?

So he made hers a double.

So every time we got
around, she was having

a double to my single.
So it worked out pretty well.

I don't want to tell
Rulla about this video.

I don't want
to tell her next week either.

I can't do it. I can'tdo it.
I can't. I can't do it.

Call me a bad friend for
not telling her right away.

Now, I just don't.
I don't have it in me yet.

- Like, medium well.
- Medium well, please.

- Same.
- Medium's great.

- I used to like it medium rare.
- Yeah, what happened?

Then I started
operating and, like, the smell

of blood.
- Messed you up?

The smell of blood smells
just like that.

Brian!

A filet mignon looks
like an Achilles tendon.

A filet mignon is tenderloin.

It's honestly
an Achilles tendon.

They're never
coming over again.

Coming up...

Kelsey,
where the [bleep] is your house?

At least I'm on the deed
at this [bleep] house.

Like, where are you?

Get the [bleep] out
of my house.

You're a----ing bitch.

Take your sh-- and get the
out of my house.

I don't care. Get the
out of my house.

Get the
out of my house.

- Hi, baby.
- Hello.

What are you doing?

Oh, tell him I said hi.

- I will.
- I was just checking in.

I'm on my way
to cut Rosie's hair.

- Very nice.
- I feel like now we're in

a better place.
We're friendly now.

Right in the comfort
of her own home.

I don't hold grudges.

Not only do
I like glamming myself,

I do like glamming other people
and making them feel beautiful.

So I think
it's just a good way to

build a connection with her,
get to know her.

I'm gonna bust
her balls a little bit

and make light of
the situation.

'Cause you know how I was

like, calling
her out for lying about

her square footage

of her house?
- Yeah.

I mean,
we could joke about it now

like we're past it.
- Okay.

Come on, Clemmy.
Are you gonna be nice when

my friend comes over?
Are you gonna be nice to her?

You want to talk to Richie?
Come on.

- Hey, honey.
- Hi. What are you doing?

Nothing much.
I just got to Capo.

Kelsey's about to come over and
I put the plans on the counter.

So now when
she walks up the stairs,

she's going to
have to look at the plan.

And I explained to Clemmy
that this is

a friend who's been
kind of mean to mommy but

that we're going to
be nice to her anyway.

Well, Clemmy,
she likes basically everybody.

So if she's like,
what's up with this bitch?

I don't know.
You know what I mean?

- Well, she's coming in soon.
- All right, well, have fun.

- I'll talk to you later.
- Bye.

What is that?

What?

Hello?

This is unit one. I've got eyes
on the property--

What are you doing?

- suspect claims
8,000 square feet.

Hello?
- What are you doing?

House police is here.

I live in a very nice community
with a no siren ordinance.

You can't just be like,
blasting sirens for no reason.

- Hi.
- Oh, she's afraid.

- How are ya?
- Good. How are you?

Good.
I just had to bust balls.

Oh, okay.

So she's now not
only being obnoxious to me,

it's my whole neighborhood.

- How are you?
- I'm good.

Come here.
Go show her all the plans.

Oh, my God.

Anyway, thank you for being.

Putting it on display.
- Well, I had to.

I mean, you just drove in
and you said 8,000 square feet,

which was
the number in February.

This is the number now.

I mean,
you can go measure it.

You're the one that wants to
measure it so bad.

'Cause I don't
even know what I'm doing.

Should we do
it after your haircut?

I mean, if you want,
we can do it now, too.

It might rain.

Maybe we should go do it now.

I'm good with plans here.
I trust them.

What is the issue
with the square footage?

Because I said it was
gonna be 8,000 in February?

- No, Rosie.
- And now it's 5,000.

Rosie, relax. I'm fine.

It was a weird thing to do.
Honestly, I don't like that.

I literally thought
I could joke with her.

I thought we were at that level
where we could, like, laugh.

That is all
that I was trying to do.

She needs to take
a friggin' chill pill.

You've already attacked
my house, my character,

literally, like,
everything about me.

I never attacked.

This is such
a nice neighborhood.

You're like 8,000 square feet.
8,000 square feet.

Rosie, it was a joke.

It was a joke.
- I didn't think it was funny.

I was showing you my police
radar. I thought it was funny.

I was making a joke.
I was being light-hearted.

No, I don't think
that's funny, actually.

This "funny joke"

proves that you're not trying
to move forward with me.

You just want to make fun of me,
and now you're coming to

my house and
you're gonna do it again?

Seriously, it's----ed up.

Well, I thought it was funny.

I'll show her these plans.
She can see for herself.

You know, you could ask
me some questions about them.

Since you guys talk behind my
- ing back all the time.

You're still calling
me a liar and exaggerator,

and you just want
to attack me constantly.

And I'm not here
for it anymore.

Instead, you're driving in and
you're saying 8,000 square feet,

like, Kelsey,
where the [bleep] is your house?

You're driving in and you're
saying 8,000 square feet, like,

Kelsey, where the
is your house?

At least I'm on the deed at
this house. Like, where are you?

You're coming in here in my
- ing house and you're--

- You're being very aggressive.
- I'm being aggressive.

You just came in with
a----ing siren.

Yes, I did because it's funny.

- It's not funny.
- Laugh. Yes, it is.

After everything
you've----ing done to me,

you think this is funny?

- What I did to you?
- What have I done to you, bitch?

I've literally
never done anything to you.

Are you----ing kidding me
right now?

I'm sorry that I called you a
- ing polygamist at a picnic

when you have a boyfriend
- ing other girlfriend,

that's polyamory,
that's polygamy.

Get the
out of my house.

I'm so over you.
- I will.

This is so----ed up.

That wasn't nice. I'm so
- ing tired of it. No.

You're a bitch. No. You said so
- ing much this whole summer.

Get the
out of my house. Go!

Get the [bleep] out.
Stop----ing talking.

Get your----ing suitcase and
get the [bleep] out of my house.

Who do you think
you're talking to?

I think I'm talking to you
and you're no one.

You're literally----ing
no one! You are no one.

Don't ever----ing
touch me again.

Ever touch me again.

You're literally no one.

Talk to me when you
have a house,

talk to me when you
have a husband,

talk to me when you have
a----ing career.

You don't have any of that.
You don't have a career.

Sucking dick is not
a----ing career, bitch.

Shut the [bleep] up.

The only thing you've ever
- ing done in your entire

ing life was
win a pageant.

And you didn't even win.

Your----ing sugar daddy
had to pay the----ing judges.

Shut the [bleep] up.
Get the [bleep] out of my house.

We are not friends.
We are not cool.

Yeah, you won it, you won it,
you won it.

No, you----ing didn't.
- Really?

Get out of my house.
Here I'll help you.

I'm so----ing done with you.

That was so----ing rude.

You come to my house
and you do that.

I can do it myself.

Then get the
out of my house.

You're not welcome here.

You're such a----ing bitch.
I'm so----ing tired of you.

And the----ing clique.
You're not welcome.

You're a----ing bitch.

Take your sh-- and get
the [bleep] out of my house.

- I will----ing gladly.
- I don't care.

Get the [bleep] out of my house.

Get the [bleep] out of my house.
I'm so----ing over this sh--.

This----ing bitch.

Rosie, by the way, I won
the pageant fair and square.

So no, I don't
suck dick for a living.

Actually, Kelsey...

Don't ever----ing
come for me again.

You're a slam pig.
Get the [bleep] out of my house.

Do you want
me to call the police?

You think you're all tough.
You think you're all tough?

I think you're a----ing bitch.

I think you're a----ing bitch.
Nobody cares.

Get the [bleep] out of my house.

You're such a----ing liar.
Get out of my house!

I will! [Bleep] off.

You're such a----ing loser.

What a bitch.

Next time on "The Real
Housewives of Rhode Island"...

She's beauty, she's grace,

she's Miss Slam Pig
United States.

Oh, my God.

She's allowed to come in
with a blowhorn and attack me.

I didn't attack you.

Dude, like,
shut the [bleep] up.

Can we just have a normal
- ing conversation?

First thing you went
to was you were homeless.

- You brought up!
- I was talking to my mother.

- Stop.
- Buckle up.

It's going to be a hell of
a----ing ride.

Holy sh--!