All language subtitles for The.Real.Housewives.of.Rhode.Island.S01E01.Welcome.to.Rhode.Island.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-playWEB_track3_[eng]

In Rhode Island,
everyone knows everyone.

People here, they don't look
down on other states,

but they are weirded out
that other states exist.

The Ocean state, it's teeny,

but to us, it's the center of
the universe.

Welcome to Rhode Island where
nobody tells anybody the truth

and everybody just lies
to each other's faces,

but talks sh--
behind their back.

Welcome! I love it here.

The smallest state with
the biggest attitude.

What are you gonna do?

Rhode Island's small
so we all know each other.

Aah!

- Remember Auntie Sandra?
- Yes. Hi.

We know your aunt,
we know your uncle,

we know your third cousin.

Everybody has like
these deep roots.

I do love you guys.
It's the Tramavin.

Tramavin!

In this group, they call me
the flip flopper.

Don't [bleep] with me.
You're a----ing troll.

Welcome to Rhode Island,
bitch. This is how we roll.

I love you.

Did she just hug her?

Liz is the dominant
figurehead here.

At some point, how do
I not say you're delulu?

I'm scary.

Boo.

This is Dolores.
We're friends.

- Why do you see a similarity?
- Do you think we look alike?

Rosie's brave. She's not
afraid to call people out.

She's moving into
an apartment

and the old guy that she cheated
on with the new guy...

Yeah.

But I'm the problem.

If I'm trying to find out sh--
if I need an FBI agent,

I'm calling Jo-Ellen.

She knows everything.

Every morning,
he goes to her house.

He's at the gym every morning.

Does Brian look like
he goes to the gym?

Rulla projects confidence
and beauty.

She's a boss.

Everybody tells me that
I run a tight ship.

I let you track me. You know
where I am every second.

Kelsey's stunning.
She's beautiful. She's smart.

She's one of my best friends.

Can't believe he bought me
those flowers.

Those go away.

A Chanel bag stays for life.

I don't refer to myself
as a sugar baby.

My boyfriend is like
actually attractive.

The money's just a plus.

Ashley isn't from here.
So she's new to the group.

Who's tired of----ing yelling
and fighting all the time?

So dumb!
- Let's just go in the office.

Right now. Just relax.

You're gonna cry.
She's gonna cry again.

She's gonna cry again.

This is not the kind of people
that I'm usually around.

Never have I ever
had sex on a boat.

I think you had sex with
my ex on a boat.

I mean, I think we had
sex on land.

It's Rhode Island.

When someone says something,

we all hear it.

This petty----ing slut

has been trying everything
to put stuff out there

as though my husband's
involved and/or still

and that's not the case.

But he is.

She married
her sister's boyfriend.

She has two boyfriends, right?

Sucking dick is not
a----ing career, bitch.

Knock it the [bleep] off.

You may not know Rhode Island,
but here,

secrets don't stay buried
for very long.

Your husband's a foot doctor,

but I think he's doing more
than rubbing foots.

Do you want some cheese?

I would love a glass of wine.
I'm a little stressed.

- You want red wine now?
- Here we go.

Anything. Any color.

My family,
when they come over,

I just need the edge off,
do you know what I mean?

♪ Deck the halls

Why are you singing
"Deck the Halls"?

'Cause it's Christmas, that's
the last time I set the table.

It's actually the truth.
Don't make me die.

Celina is my mini-me.

She likes everything that
I like.

And at a store, she'll be like,
"Mom, this is cute."

And I'll be like,
it is cute.

Good job. High-five.

Okay, I'll do it.

And she loves Britney Spears.

I love Britney Spears.

What is that?

This is a cheese, a soft cheese
with the crackers.

So I need a knife?
Where are the crackers?

I got them in there. Relax.

You're in the restaurant
business, I thought you'd be

a better help today.

Billy owns like a bunch of
restaurants in Rhode Island.

And my favorite is
Pizza Mamma.

I want to talk to you about
like a new picture.

You do whatever you want.
You made me do this, like,

girlie pizzeria so.

Hi.

Oh, good.
So how far away are you?

I have a big Italian family.
I have six aunts.

And we all live
in Rhode Island.

Alicia wants to move back
to Cranston some day really bad

'cause she misses
being with family.

It's just so far!

You got to pack a lunch
just to go there.

I would've been to your house

Nikki four times already
and back.

When I was eight months
pregnant,

Billy moved us all the way
in Providence.

That was terrible.

We're finally here!

Yay!

Now we have to carry
all the food in. Ugh.

- Hello.
- Hi, baby.

Hi, how are you?

Hi, Auntie.
You look beautiful.

- Hi.
- Hi, Brianna, you look gorgeous.

- You look gorgeous.
- Oh, my God. You look gorgeous.

Mangia, mange, mange.

My grandfather, he opened up
Superior Bakery

and a few other pizza
restaurants and he was like

well-known all over
in Rhode Island.

Billy! I love this house,
don't get me wrong.

But I say we can build you
a beautiful one in Cranston.

Billy, what a wedding
you can have out here.

Talk to your niece.

Alicia, why don't we have
a wedding here?

Not here, no, no. No, I don't
want to do that here.

You getting married?

- Not here.
- Oh, please. Come on.

Just do it.
- Auntie, next year.

Listen, I'm aging.

Me and Billy got engaged
when I was about

seven months pregnant.

Nine years ago.

Billy, I want you to get
your swagger back

and just bang her against
the wall, do something.

Oh, my God.

Can we eat?

- I'm starving.
- Yeah, really.

Alicia, have you seen Liz?

Yeah, yeah, oh, my God.
I love Liz.

She has a very big fear
of frogs.

Liz?

Liz has no fear to me.

I've known Liz since
I was born.

They used to call her Cece.
Yeah.

I remember her being like
beautiful,

she was older than me,

but sometimes,
Liz makes me nervous.

She's definitely a queen.

Queen Elizabeth.

She lives in like the most
gorgeous castle.

Hmm.

Look, Ganjes,
it's a beautiful day.

Oh, Ganji, look at
all of this.

Look at how blessed we are.

Everyone always says,
I'm blunt.

And I bite people's heads off.

Where you going? Is it too hot
for your little feetsies?

And I get this a lot lately.

I can be "scary."

Let's go see dad.

Gerry?

Ooh. It stinks in here.

Gerry and I met at a bar.

Gerry McGraw!

You want your morning drink?
- Yeah, please.

Gerry and I were married
about six months

and that was when, you know,
the whole ancestry DNA thing

was blowing up.

I mean, if you look at Gerry
and you look at me,

no one's ever gonna say
we're related,

but we are related
somewhere down the line.

You wanna be called dad?

I'll call you dad.

Daddy.

When I met Gerry, he told me
he had three girls.

And they were little.

I was not prepared
to be a mom.

School, uniforms, hair,
baths, lunches.

I go to drive away,
they're like, ah! Stop!

Skyla's not in the car yet.

Skyla's got one foot
in the car.

Gerry?

Hey, babe.

Let's discuss the day.
Shall we?

Yeah.

Gonna not do the bundle bag
this year.

Gerry and I own
a cannabis dispensary.

We were one of the first
on the east coast.

I like to believe
that we trailblazed.

Looks amazing.

My husband's the king
of cannabis.

So I think that by proxy
that makes me the queen of weed.

Where you going
in East Greenwich?

Like Blue or Water Street
or one of those places.

I'm gonna take--
- All right.

...the dingy, be nice to meet
Kelsey while it's a nice day.

- Thank you, Simon.
- You're welcome.

I know Kelsey because
I grew up with her boyfriend.

Thank you.

Kelsey and her boyfriend,
they have an age disparity.

But I don't think
he's that old

'cause he's actually my age.

Really?

Ugh. My armpits.

Look at that queen dock.

I already have swamp ass
waiting for you.

Nothing wrong with a little
swamp ass here or there.

You made it in one piece
and you're dry.

I need to put this on my chair
so my ass doesn't sweat.

Liz, what do you want? Gin?

Gin was mother's milk
to her.

I'm gonna have Hendrick's.

We're gonna have a spicy tuna

and extra,
extra lemons, please.

Thank you.

Oh, that's right.

You have a crazy aversion
to lemon seeds.

No. Her staff at the house,

they do, it's true.

Fourth of July,
what are you thinking?

Well, he's not gonna be
in town. I'm used to it.

But when I have my free time,
and I'm solo,

to be honest,
I----ing love it.

And look at you.
Baby, you got everything.

I live a life of luxury.

And I've been lucky to be a lady
of leisure for 10 years now.

Living in
a 16,000-square-foot home,

the house literally has
everything that I need.

Four kitchens, 79 TVs,

the closet, the best part.

We stay in a different zip code
just to get to the bedroom.

My boyfriend's family
is probably one of the most

prominent families
the state of Rhode Island.

And he has allowed me to

live a life of not being
able to work.

I first met him
when I was 19.

I saw him on a boat.

This guy is tall, dark, handsome.

We made out for two hours.

Straight. Didn't even
come up for air.

When we started dating
10 years ago,

he's the whole reason why
I became Miss Rhode Island.

If I didn't have
the extra push from him,

I would've never had
the balls to do it.

He's a good person,
he's a good man.

And for a good five months of
the year, he's gone.

So like I'm in a literal
empty house where it's just me.

Sweetie.

Sitting on the couch.

I'm bored in this house
all by myself.

My relationship is very

unorthodox, you know,
this man dates multiple people.

And for the first half
of the year,

my boyfriend is in Miami.

And when he's in Miami,
he's with somebody else.

All right. Have a good day.
I'll talk to you later.

But now, I'm at that crossroads
where I just hit 30

and I want more for myself.

I want to be in a committed
relationship with one person.

But at his age and his life,
there's not one thing

he's going to change.

He is who he is and either
I accept it

or I have to leave.

The good has always
outweighed the bad.

I get that. You don't want
to be second fiddle.

I always thought when I first
started dating him,

I'm in this man's life
for however long this man

want me to be in his life for
and I don't feel like

necessarily, I was ever
in control of that.

But you were okay with that.

But now, as you're growing
into your skin and maturing.

I'm going-- no.

I mean, I know...

I feel like I've--
for a long time,

like I don't know what
the right thing to do is.

Of course I love him.

And that's what sucks
because I-- I do

care so much about him.

I know it's scary coming from
a point of having it all,

to a point of making it all
on your own.

It's like stepping into
the unknown is the hardest

part for me because
I've had the most

amazing life.

I don't know.

Coming up next on "The Real
Housewives of Rhode Island"...

Rosie was questioning
your relationship.

Hello, there.

I'm a cold----ing bitch
at the end of the day.

When it comes to
my relationship,

I don't need to explain
what I want to do with anybody.

Looks so pretty here.
I haven't been to this new side.

Hi. Welcome to Matunuck.
Do you have a reservation today?

Yes. Is it under you?
Gary Tiberi or Jo-Ellen Tiberi.

Okay, yeah, right this way.

Here you are. Enjoy.

- Wow. This is gorgeous.
- I know.

It looks really pretty.

It was the best seat
in the house.

- Do you want to get a drink?
- Shots?

Oh, dear. What kind of night
is this gonna be?

Gonna be a good night if
we start off with a shot.

Gary and I met in high school.

He was like that hot senior

and I was like this little
"innocent" freshman.

And I'd walk by his locker
and be like, "Hi. Hi."

And he finally said, "Oh,
you're Jen's little sister."

I already know what I want.

My sister loved him.

But I was like, "I wanna
marry this man."

And I chased him.

And then, finally I got him.

The sun will set
and it'll be beautiful

like the wedding.

It's weird, though,
looking back, like,

just thinking about like
some of the people

I even had like in
our wedding party.

We've grown apart but...

I pretty much hang with
all my guys still.

My mouth gets me in so much
trouble with everybody.

I truly do not know why
anyone tells me things.

But when somebody says,
you know, don't tell anyone.

Of course I'm not gonna.

Like I'm gonna just tell
my best friend

and like my other best friend
and that's it.

I tell them not to tell
anyone, but if they do,

that's on them.

Thank you for taking me here.
You know I love it here.

Absolutely.
It's our favorite.

Thank you for loving me.
Tolerating me.

I know it hasn't been easy
with me.

I come across scary.

I know that I can be a bitch,
but I'm not actually a bitch.

It's been easy for me, babe.

When people get to know me,
they're not as scared.

As scared.

Hello! How we doing?

- Hi. How are you?
- Hi, how are you?

Do we wanna start out with any
appetizers at the moment?

The oysters are north stars
and east beach blonds.

- A dozen?
- Sounds great.

- Be right back.
- Thank you.

Can't wait to
get these oysters.

Everyone in the house is sick,
but I'm glad that we got out.

I think Jolie just was like
a 24-hour thing.

- You think so?
- Yeah.

Having three kids might as
well be having 500 children.

Oh, dear.

I know!

If you put this on,
I will give you a cake pop.

Please?

I'm that PTA mom that
buys cookies,

throws them in the tupperware
to bring them to a bake sale.

It's been a tough year,
I think, like,

having three kids,
going back to work.

It's overwhelming me.

You know, like, your mom,
like, this old-school Italian.

She didn't work.

I work in aesthetic sales.

So I work with a lot of
plastic surgeons,

dermatologists, MedSpas.

My counterpart will go in
sell them a device such as

a laser, microneedling,
fat reduction, body contouring.

I then go in and I teach
them how to use it.

I swear to God, because it's
cold I feel nothing.

I like working.

I like making my own money
and not having to rely

on Gary, like,
what's this for?

It's probably for botox.

- All righty.
- Thank you.

I'll do a dirty martini,
extra dirty

with blue cheese olives.
- Sounds great.

She'll do them too.
- You trying to get me drunk?

Mr. Tiberi.

It's gonna work one or two ways
for you just so you know.

That's either gonna be really
a fun night for us

or it's gonna be
I'm gonna go right to sleep.

What is all this powder?

Oh, wait. The powder's
coming out of the vacuum.

No wonder why I keep cleaning.
Oh, my God. I can't.

Oops.

- Hi!
- It's the hair flip for me.

Hello!
- ...at your finest.

I love your outfit.
You look beautiful.

These are mine.

You have the exact same ones!

I love that Rosie is
a Taurus and she's very loyal.

She's a girl's girl.

You look like a supermodel.

People are gonna be like
asking for your autograph.

Oh, my God. Stop.

I've known Rosie
for two years now, I think.

I'm bad at math.

A girl who used to do
my botox was her best friend.

Anyways, she's fun.
We have fun together.

And we became really close
over the past year.

And before that,
I knew of her,

because Rosie was
a newscast girl.

We have a crash in Providence
on 95 northbound.

It's right before Thurbers
and the shoulder's blocked.

I recently found out that
my stepdad had a crush on her.

I wanted to throw up
in my mouth.

I was a TV reporter
and anchor

on the number one station
here in Rhode Island.

I don't think it's any shock
to anyone that the only people

watching the news the last
10 years were 50-plus.

If I don't go somewhere
and somebody says

my grandfather loves you,
then I've had a bad day.

Oh, my God. This is
really pretty down here.

By the way,
happy anniversary.

Oh, thank you.

It's actually this weekend.

Oh, my God.

Me and Rich have been
married for one year.

Rich is by far my best friend
and he's my biggest supporter.

We're gonna be so tall
with these on.

Good.

Rich had a million hobbies
that make him money.

He like flips houses with
his uncle, he DJs, he sings.

You wanna come hear
a Sinatra tune?

This is a song to listen to
right here.

He became
a Frank Sinatra singer.

Goodnight, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you so much.

Not an impersonator.

He gets really upset
when people say that.

Don't fall in the woods.

And roll down in the water
'cause I'm not saving you.

It isn't even that hard like
I've had heels

way harder than this.

This is actually like
such a vibe.

This is actually really fun.

Can we hold hands and jump?

I do have fun with Rosie.

I cook like this. I cook.
I clean.

This is my type of exercise.

It's good for
your lymphatic system.

It's good for your feet
to do this for some reason.

I don't know. The girl who does
my massages says that.

This was like the most cardio
I've done in a while.

Me too and I almost died.

I was trying to do
Jane's Fonda.

Talk to me about this picnic.

So yeah, it's a work event
for my TV show.

I have a lifestyle show
that airs on Saturdays

and Sundays.

I just do segments with
local businesses.

I literally had to fast
all day just to be hungry

for this shoot.
- You serious?

Yeah, 'cause I took Ozempic
like two days ago.

Tomorrow I'm hosting a picnic.

It's actually a collab
I'm doing with a picnic company

that does like posh picnics.

And so, we're setting up
an entire picnic

so we might as well shoot
the segment

and then have some of
my friends come by.

And we can actually enjoy it.

Honestly, the only thing
I'm worried about,

Jo-Ellen's gonna be there.
Do you think she'll be nice?

No.

I don't know how to, like,
put her in her place a lot.

Well, tomorrow,
you might have to.

I met Jo-Ellen
through Alicia.

She grew up with Jo-Ellen.
They're in a clique.

Liz and Kelsey are in
the clique as well.

And I wanna be friends
with everyone.

Here's the thing, like,
if you're gonna be

in this friend group, like,
you have to be friends

with Jo-Ellen, but she also
does have a reputation

that precedes her.

And I told her to her face,
I was like,

you're actually really nice
when you're not being mean.

I think Jo-Ellen likes
to throw shade sometime.

I think that she's so insecure
about being like this villain

in her mind and in her life.

Then she should stop
being one.

That she, like, is constantly
trying to put the darkness

on everybody else.
- Everybody else.

So no one's paying attention
to, like, her.

The reason I'm extra
nervous with Jo-Ellen

is because recently it was
a very casual day at her house.

She invited everybody over.
We were all wearing sweatpants.

And she said some
nasty things about me

when she didn't think
I could hear her.

But I clock everything.

We've all heard the rumors,
like it's crazy what people say.

I didn't know she was
a swinger.

I just heard the rumor about it.
I didn't think it--

I heard a rumor, too,
but I wanna know--

I still wanna know,
call me nosy.

Fine. Eff it. I am nosy.

I've known Jo-Ellen forever.
Since she was in middle school.

And I've known her family.

I was best friends with Jen,
Jo-Ellen's sister.

And I did communion
with Gary.

I think we even made our
confirmation together, too.

So Gary and I are very close,

I'm not as close as
him and his sister-in-law.

Jen and Gary might've had
like a little thing

in high school.

Shh...

Look at that pigeon thing.
What is that little bird?

I know. But what is that?

That long stem bird
it's so pretty.

Oh, my God.
I should know this.

A----ing ostrich? No.
That was wrong.

That bird is beautiful.
The long neck like a swan.

An anorexic swan.

A swan on ozempic!
That's a swan on ozempic.

Or a really ugly flamingo.

I can't.

I love birds.

Coming up next on "The Real
Housewives of Rhode Island"...

You said I was evil and that
even children wouldn't like me.

I don't think I said that
to your face,

but I do feel that way.

Okay. What?

She's gonna
love the disco balls.

I know.

- Need help with anything?
- No, I'm good, actually. Yeah.

Rich, take this. Wait, you guys.
This looks so good.

Growing up,
I wanted to be Ryan Seacrest.

I was lining up my
little teddy bears

and pretending to
interview the teddy bears.

That's what I wanted
to do when I was little.

Whoa. Can you take this down
for me when I'm done with it?

I have an event that I have
to go to, so I--

Yeah, but I only need it
to get changed.

Me and Rich
met when I was an intern

for the morning show that he was
the on air producer for.

All right.
Do you want me to check?

See if Kevin's ready?

- I mean. Yeah.
- Okay.

And now you're
my intern now, bitch.

We are rolling.

Okay. Hey, guys.
Welcome back to Road Trippin'.

I'm your host, Rosie Woods.

Today we are
at the beach right here

in East Greenwich and
we are having a posh picnic.

Okay, so first,
just start with your title.

Chief Salami officer.

- Of...
- Charcuterie Creations.

So I brought
a charcuterie board for

you girls to enjoy.

Some artisanal
sandwiches and a fruit platter.

- Hi.
- Hi, beautiful.

It's pretty and yellow.
Say hello.

Thank you.
Being very a ray of sunshine.

I'm at the picnic because
Alicia wanted me to come.

However, I'm not a fan of Rosie.
Is she filming?

Road Trippin'?

Welcome to Road Trippin'.

I'm your host, Rosie Woods.
- All right, that's enough.

I just want you to
know there's 215 views.

Damn it.
I gave her a view.

That was great.
That's all we need.

This is beautiful.

Oh, my God. I'm gonna die.

I love your outfit.
Over here is the charcuterie.

And then over
here are your gift bags.

- I, like, love that bag.
- Hi.

- Hi, Ashley.
- How are you?

Everybody's outfits
are so cute.

- Thanks for coming.
- Oh, my God. Hi.

- Hey.
- I'm Jo-Ellen.

Ashley. Nice to meet you.
I love your dress.

- Thank you.
- Hi, nice to meet you, Ashley.

- Cute with a little bucket.
- Oh, yeah.

Oh, my God. For me?

Stop it.
Is that Dunkin Donuts?

Oh, my goodness.

If there's one thing that'll
warm up a Rhode Island crowd,

it is Dunkin.

Ashley's my really good friend.
We originally bonded over

the fact that, like,
we both love boy bands,

we both love the Disney Channel,
all the little dumb

things that teenage
girls really care about.

This is like the best
gift I've ever gotten.

Other than
the fact that she was on

"The Bachelor" and is
super famous,

we're basically
the same person.

Married to Jared Haibon,
Rhode Island native, very proud.

I met him on
"Bachelor in Paradise."

When I saw him for
the first time, I was like

hit by this
love at first sight thing.

And then
it turned out to be true.

Now that we've been
married for six years,

we're in the real
life part of the fairy

tale where the real
life stuff is happening.

You have to go potty,
don't you?

You have to go poopy.
Are you sure?

People will tell us all
the time,

oh, my God, your love
is so inspiring.

I'm like, oh, thank you.

But also know
that like we're also sitting

next to each other on the couch
at night going like this.

Okay.
So Ashley, tell me about you.

- I'm from Virginia.
- Okay.

So I met my
husband on "the Bachelor."

Where did you get married?
Down here?

We got married
at KChapel in Newport

and then we had
our reception at Rosecliff.

I will say that Rhode Island
is different.

Because it's so close knit.
- If they didn't see you

in kindergarten.
- It's a problem.

I've never been to a state

where people
are so proud to be from it.

I haven't in the four
years that we've been here

really, like made my own group.
- Right.

I think it's just a hard
place to infiltrate because it's

like if you're not from
Rhode Island, like, suspect.

- What did you guys do yesterday?
- Kelsey came by yesterday.

We had a good time.
- How is Kelsey?

You know,
she's going through a lot.

I feel like I've
relied on him for so much.

Like I wouldn't
have to worry about

how much things cost,
I was 20 years old.

Now I'm 31.
That's 11 years of sugar.

You know,
she's just kind of like

in between, like,

what she wants to do for
the future.

It's like a personal change.

Yeah, I think she's,
you know, she doesn't know.

You know, I don't know.

She's 31 and
she wants to make it.

She doesn't know,
you know, I don't know.

She's a doll though.

Oh, my God.
Let's play that game.

Never have you ever.

I usually end up
with all five fingers up.

Okay.

Never have I ever
done any butt stuff.

Wait, so you put
it down if you've done it.

- If you've done it.
- Obviously.

I like it with guys
that have like skinny wieners.

If someone even touched my butt,
I would actually get

a gut and kill them.

Never have
I ever had a threesome.

Okay.
No, you've never had like

any threesomeness?
- Never! Jo-Ellen.

Okay, here's a good one.

Never have
I ever been a polygamist.

Wait, what does that
mean again?

Like, if you have like
a boyfriend

here and then you have
a boyfriend somewhere else.

- Could you imagine?
- I thought Kelsey was that.

You thought Kelsey was what?

Isn't she like,
her boyfriend has a girlfriend

here and
a girlfriend in Florida? No?

I don't know.
You should ask her.

Yeah, I would love to.

I'm very confused by it.
There's so many rumors about it,

but I like,
don't know anything about it.

I mean, there's a lot
of rumors about everybody.

This is what
bothers me about Rosie.

She's constantly talking sh--.

Whether it be me or
Kelsey or any other friend.

I would actually pick
up the phone and call her and be

like, so before I embarrass
you in front of people,

you want to like,
take ownership of this?

And she's like,
well, this person said this.

And yes, I did say that,
but only because

it's always an excuse.

I just want to know,
like, who do you want to spend

Christmas with?

Do you spend Thanksgiving
with one

and Christmas with another?

And I totally get that because
you get double presents.

What do
you mean double presents?

Like on Christmas do
you have to buy for both?

I thought her boyfriend
had another girlfriend.

What are you saying
she had another boyfriend?

If you have a question, ask her.
That's all I'm gonna say.

These are all rumors.
That's why I'm asking.

Rosie, you constantly talk sh--
and I don't love it.

Like, I'm a very nosy person.
Nosy Rosie. I have questions.

I have follow up questions.
What do you expect from me?

I used to be a reporter.

It's actually
hilarious that you would say

that because I heard you talking
sh-- about me.

- That's not true at all.
- And I still invited you to my

picnic here
today to be nice to you.

- I mean, it's okay--
- When we went to your house,

you talked sh-- about me to
Kelsey and then you were

surprised
that I sat there quiet.

I heard you talking sh--
about the wine that I brought.

I mean, your wine was very,

very cheap.

You said
I was evil and that even

children wouldn't like me.
- Okay. What?

I don't think I said that to

your face,
but I do feel that way.

If you don't want me talking
about what you've done to me,

then stop doing----ed up sh--
and that'll be the solution.

And you didn't have
to come to my----ing picnic.

I didn't have to pay $1,000
for your----ing gift bag.

Shut the [bleep] up. Like,
are you out of your mind?

If you don't want me
talking about what you've

done to me, then stop doing
- ed up sh-- to me.

And you didn't have
to come to my----ing picnic.

Oh, Rosie, shut the [bleep] up.
Like, are you out of your mind?

Jo-Ellen likes
to throw jabs when she can.

She has a side to her where
she switches up real quick.

If she knows
something that she can

say mean,
she's gonna say it.

And that's like
the beauty of Jo-Ellen.

I literally invited you here as,
like, an olive branch,

and you're
just being like yourself.

I don't know what victim
card you're trying to play.

You're the one
that's mean to me.

Like, leave me alone.
- No, don't cry.

Listen. No, no.

I don't like
that you think I'm a bad person.

'Cause I'm trying so----ing
hard to be a good person.

Listen, Rosie, listen.

I'm not trying to make you cry.

Let's start over, okay?
Start from here.

I'm trying to turn
everybody against me.

I did? No, no.
I just want to move on.

Let's just pretend nothing
happened and just start fresh.

Everyone put their hands in.

I really believe in this.

Rosie, put your hand on top.
Go ahead.

I'm trying
to start over with you.

All right. I'm trying to.

You guys. I wanted to
invite all of you guys.

I'm having a Fourth of
July party, Rosie included.

I want to invite all of you guys
to it. It's gonna be fun.

I haven't been to
a Fourth of July party,

like, ever,
so that's very exciting.

- I'm excited for it.
- Thank you for inviting me.

I want Rosie, I'm here
because I want to just

get past the bullsh--.

I am hopeful that we can
just move

forward and go to the Fourth of
July party and have a good time.

But I am nervous.

I'm gonna try to come
up with a really cute gift.

So I have to figure that out.

I say that we cheers to
a new start and thanks for--

I've had a great time with you
except for the fighting.

- Ashley!
- There's nothing left in here.

Cheers.

Can we play
the monopoly one day?

Oops.

I am so freaking
excited to get my car back.

- You don't like the truck?
- No parking.

That thing is significantly
different than my car.

It's just bigger.
She's got a big ass on her.

She has a huge ass.

I have not had
coffee yet today.

- What do you want?
- Can I get a turtle?

It's been almost
four years since we opened

up Audrey's Coffee House
and Lounge.

It is the second

rated celebrity-owned
restaurant

in the United States.

Bon Jovi being number one.

The ice machine's
not working again.

me. There's always
something else, I swear.

Now, is it a huge moneymaker?

No, I thought it would
make more money than it is.

Thank you.
So I met Jo-Ellen who's--

Hold on a second. Ava.

I'm sorry,
what were you saying?

Anyway,
we're at the picnic.

You can just come
right around, man. Sorry.

Just right in that corner
is perfect.

I'm sorry. Thank you, bro.
- I haven't really filled

you in on that,
but I should, because tomorrow

we were invited to
the Fourth of July party.

Yeah.

- Carter?
- Melissa said

that she could
take care of the kids.

So tomorrow you will
have Rich that you know.

You'll know Rich.

- Love Rich.
- Yeah.

Rosie was
mentioning us carpooling

just because she's, like,
a little nervous.

Why is she nervous?

Because she has
to see Jo-Ellen again.

What happened between
Rosie and Jo-Ellen?

From what I heard from Rosie
beforehand, is that Jo-Ellen

had a whole bunch of
ladies over her house,

and Rosie brought over
a $6, like, bottle of wine,

to which I would totally
do the same.

I would have maybe,
you know,

spent a little bit more
than $6 on a bottle of wine.

Cheapish. Katie.

Well, what time
are you coming home?

I don't know. I've
been trying to reduce my

hours here. I think
I've been doing a good job.

You've been
doing a really good job.

It's hard.

When Jared first opened
Audrey's, he was working 100

hours a week.

While he's adjusted
his hours to be home much more,

he still focuses, like, all this
time and energy on Audrey's.

And then there's two kids at
home that I have to go be with.

So Audrey's is our third child.

Here's my
thing about this place.

I know that you love it.
- Yep.

But, like, you don't
light up about it.

And you could be
living a more enjoyable

life by doing something.

I don't know what it is yet,
whether it's you doing,

but, like, that can go
weeks without seeing you smile.

- I know.
- Jared and I are influencers.

I have a bigger following
than him,

but he could still live a very

wonderful life off
the following that he has and,

like, the opportunities
that come to him.

But he wanted something
outside of social media,

and man, oh, man,
did he get it.

You know, how you're constantly
thinking about Audrey's?

I'm constantly thinking,
how am I gonna make Jared happy?

Well, I don't want you
to do that.

Of course I don't want that.
It's the last thing I want.

It's just, like,
can we just have fun?

Like, I just want to, like,

not have
you thinking about Audrey's.

I know I need
to be better at it.

- I couldn't agree more.
- Okay.

Poor Jason's
waiting for his drink.

Jason.

Coming up next on "The Real
Housewives of Rhode Island"...

Truthfully,
was it brought up by you about

the way my relationship is?

- I mean, Jo-Ellen brought it up.
- Jo-Ellen brought it up?

Yeah.

We pick out
our Fourth of July outfit.

Okay, so this is
what Mom's gonna wear.

You don't like it?

Bend your knees
a little more.

Good, good. Squeeze.

I don't think Lululemon comes
up with camel toe free leggings.

- What's today?
- Fourth of July.

It is the Fourth of July.

Hi, babe.
Why aren't you dressed?

- I am dressed a little.
- For what?

- Mama, I'll be right back.
- All right.

You'll be right back, angel.
For the party,

I've rented a house in
Portsmouth on the water.

You want me
to wear the blue linen?

Yeah, I think you'll look
very handsome in that.

Fourth of July is
huge in Rhode Island.

But I have no idea what

the Fourth of July is about.

Plymouth Rock,

Columbus, Plymouth Rock

is in Massachusetts,
which is our neighbor.

It's just--
it has something to do with,

like, the Nina, Pinta,
and Santa Maria.

Fourth of July is
big in Rhode Island.

I don't know why.

She's got a little bit of
a hairy face.

Gary. What an asshole!

I'm just playing,
I'm gonna go do the pool.

We're hosting a party.
You're not skimming the pool.

Please, I need you
to get ready.

- I'm gonna go skim the pool.
- No, no, don't skim the pool.

My mom's coming.
Oh, God.

Hi, Cannoli.
Where's my babies?

I think they're in
the playroom over there.

Thank you for watching them.

I decided
to fulfill my commitment.

Fulfill your commitment
as a grandmother.

Let me know how much
I owe you for tonight.

Is it holiday double time?
- How dare you say I charge you?

Then why did I send you money?

I think that the maternal gene,
it skipped

my mother and grandmother.

Thank you.
You're the best.

I was doing
regular teenage things,

but my mom mistook
that for just very bad behavior.

My mother was
really hard on me.

I need to get dressed.
- You need any help with that?

No, I don't
need any help with that.

I had no guide to
how to be a good mother.

Jolie, we're gonna have fun.

Look, nanny's here. Do
you want to have fun with her?

So I'm doing
the best that I can, and

I just pray that my
kids turn out amazing.

Hi. How are you?

Appreciate it.

Thank you so much. I'm
sorry for keeping you waiting.

We have three kids.

I'm so stressed out
from that.

My mom. I'm just nervous
about three kids and her.

Might have to call
and check in.

- I have Rosie come to the party.
- Proud of you for that.

Rosie made the comment about
Kelsey having two boyfriends.

Just kind of like, mind your own
- ing business.

I can't imagine she acts up.

I don't think
she wants that smoke with you.

She shouldn't if
she knows what's good for her.

I do wish that this was
a kids welcome party.

Jo-Ellen has kids, right?
She has three?

And I brought
her these amazing fireworks.

I'm sure she'll complain
about them.

And then I also got
a bottle of champagne.

Rich, did you bring that?
- I have the champagne.

- Rich has got the champagne.
- How much was the champagne?

I don't know,
like 60 bucks or something.

That's good. That's great.

I am showing
up tonight with a gift

for Jo-Ellen,
even though she made me cry.

Because my goal in life
is just for everyone to like me.

And I know
deep down that that is

the most unrealistic
thing you could ever want.

But it all I want.
So I'm just gonna keep trying.

No, I'm scared.

Wow.

Imagine if I tumble down
the stairs.

For the party, we are
going to have a raw bar.

We're gonna have caricatures.

I have this
plan to do caviar wieners.

- Somebody seem to be falling.
- Somebody's definitely falling.

I may not cook,
I may not clean, I may not

have sex all the time,
but I know how

to throw a good party.

Yeah,
we gotta get the hot dog set up.

Yeah, I gotta get these in
the freezer.

Into the kitchen.

- My effin' hair's in my face.
- Where's everyone?

- I don't even.
- Is there anyone here?

Jo-Ellen. This
is absolutely gorgeous.

How are you?

Thank you for inviting us,
by the way.

- Gary!
- So good to see you, honey.

- Happy Fourth.
- It's a great location.

There's a cannoli station down
there. Caricatures over there.

They do caricatures.
- Caricature.

Billy.
They have caracterers.

- Caracatures.
- Caricatures.

Dolores Catania,
she owns my heart.

We're going
right through the bar.

We met at a cannabis convention

back when Frank was
just getting into the industry.

Hi, everybody.
This is Dolores.

And I said just come visit.

See what it's like
for a summer.

Okay. Well,
I'm gonna start with this.

We're crabbing.
- We're crabbing.

I make a good crab sauce.

Last time I made crab
sauce that I caught myself,

I was pregnant for Gabby.

I trust Dolores.

She knows where the berries--
the bodies are buried.

She knows where
the berries are bodied.

Dolores, what a treat, doll.

I think you're a dream.

- Nice to meet you.
- Hi, gorgeous.

Oh, my God.
My earring just got caught.

- My heels keep getting stuck.
- Oh, mine did too. Mine did too.

I've known Jo-Ellen
since I was in high school.

She used to
work at a tanning salon

that my friend
used to work at.

Jo-Ellen was hooking up
with the owner of the tanning

salon, and then
the owner and his wife.

You look beautiful. How
gorgeous you look.

She's ballsy.

Do you guys
want to see down there?

Yeah. Yeah. Let's go.

Honey, can
you get us all drinks?

Sure.
- Come show me the way.

Let's go.

- Oh, you son of a bitch.
- You're a liability, Alicia.

I am a liability.
- Oh, no, this is steep.

Now, wait.

Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Wait for me.
Give me your hand.

- I got it. We did it.
- You guys made it.

We're not getting back up,
just so you know.

Oh, look at this guy.
He's a good one.

What is this?
- Thank you, babe.

You're a great husband.
Love you.

Cheers, everybody.
- Cheers, ladies.

- Welcome, Dolores.
- Thank you.

Welcome to Rhode Island.

Thank you for having me.

Tell me what you love
about Rhode Island the most.

Have you been...

My first time out of Jersey,
I was 18 and I came here.

Is there a beach
in New Jersey?

Yeah, the Jersey shore.

Quiet, that's something
I would ask though. Stop it.

- Hello, there.
- I think Rosie's here.

Is she gonna
be annoyed at you because

you're wearing all red,
just like she's wearing all red.

- I don't know.
- The devil in red. I'll be back.

You said it, not us.

Just said that
just to be funny.

She's not the devil.

Drunken words
are sober thoughts.

I want to tell
you what happened at the picnic.

I need you to know I stuck
up for you.

This always sounds good.

I know that's always
a really interesting story.

So Rosie was questioning
your relationship and

polygamy, and Alicia was like,
does Kelsey have two boyfriends?

Where does she go for Christmas?
Like, what's happening?

I'm like,
why don't you ask her that?

I just met Rosie at Jo-Ellen's,
but I feel like I can

sniff out the people
that aren't girls girls.

Rosie is not a girls girl.

Beautiful. I love your dress.

Is there a reason she's asking
you about your relationship?

Like, are you going
through something or...

Um, my relationship is
the only thing that makes me...

...upset.
- Don't even sweat that.

Rumors are rumors.

We all know
that they're not all factual.

I'm a cold----ing bitch
at the end of the day,

but when
it comes to my relationship,

that's, like, sacred.
It's my choice.

I don't need to explain
what I want to do with anybody.

Like, I don't understand
what she wants to know.

Who cares
who the [bleep] I want to date?

They're talking about something.
I'm worried about it.

The thing is,
is you have two choice.

- You can either.
- Don't be upset, though.

You can either let
it wipe it off and walk

right by, or you can go and say,
what the [bleep] you guys?

Why are you talking
about me when I'm not in a room?

You're the hostess.

She's here, and
you need to go say hello to her.

And we should all go.
- And you're gonna have to greet.

Yeah, you're right.
I invited her to my party,

and I'm here
to be kind to everybody.

All right, let's do this.

I'm gonna take your arm, though.

- Hi, guys.
- Hi. Good. How are you?

Thank you for inviting us.

- Dolores, this is Ashley.
- Oh, hi. Nice to meet you.

- Hi, Rosie.
- How are you?

Thanks for inviting me.
I got you this.

- Oh, my God.
- It's a fireworks bouquet.

That was
thoughtful and creative.

And then this is,
like, your real gift.

Thank you.
You didn't need to do that.

Once again, a gift
that I wouldn't give somebody.

I'm making hot dogs with
caviar right now.

Oh, my God.

Would you like a caviar wiener,
you guys?

Caviar wiener.

There's no way I'm having
caviar wiener.

- You gotta try it.
- I'm not doing it.

It's delicious.

- Hi, guys.
- Hi, Kelsey.

How are you doing? How are you?
How are you?

I'm good.
I noticed that you came solo.

- Yeah.
- Okay.

You're okay?
I hope everything's okay.

No, listen,
I like doing sh-- on my own.

I'm used to it,
but I know, like, the picnic,

there was,
like, questions of, like,

the kind of
relationship that I was in.

If Rosie or anyone else has,
like, a question on polygamy.

Every man does
that all the time.

Listen, my relationship
from day one, there were rules.

I accepted a lot of things,
and that's it.

Oh.

I don't get it.
I'm very confused by her.

Hi.

So we were
talking about, you know,

how, like,
everyone's always asking

about, like, her situation.

- Like, who's always asking?
- Like, anyone.

You know,
when you go through something in

life and it's sensitive,
you don't want people

sitting at
other tables discussing it.

I relate the most to Kelsey.

It's funny
because in this group of girls,

she's the youngest, as we know.

I'm the oldest. But we're very
close. We protect each other.

And I am eternally allergic
to bullsh--.

What else have
you said at that picnic?

Nothing else. I didn't
say one bad thing about you.

Hey, Mom. How you doing?

Hi, beautiful.

Gia's up too, Mom.
Her bedtime was seven.

I told you.

Gia is definitely
ready to go down.

Bye, angel muffin.

All right. The kids are alive.
- All right.

It made me
look nervous with my mom.

Even though I know
she's a great grandmother,

I don't know how to
get past the things she's

done to me as a child.
I just don't want my kids

to feel anything that I felt
with her.

Kids are alive.

- That's so good.
- That's so good.

- You know what I'm gonna do?
- Wait, who's the one red cheeks?

Me, of course.
What the [bleep]?

- What's that?
- Boom boom juice? It's tequila.

- I don't want anything.
- You know what I've been doing?

I've been doing
dirty Shirley's.

- What's that?
- What?

Dirty Shirley's, like a Shirley
tumble, but they put body in it.

I like that.
- Isn't that fun?

What do you want to drink?

I don't want a dirty whore.

Yes.

Yes, we've known each
other for, like, 20 years.

Right, about?
- She used to date my...

boyfriend's brother.
- Yes.

I'm waiting to see
how big my teeth are.

I'm known
for my very big teeth.

I still have
yet to talk to Rosie.

No, I talked to Alicia
about it.

I know Alicia comes from,
like, a place of, like.

She's not, like,
ill-intended.

She's just not all there.

Yeah, she's like ditzy.
Yeah.

So...

I haven't talked
to Rosie yet about it.

I said hello. She brought me
this really nice, like, bouquet.

You know, I'm just kind of
moving forward.

It's fourth of July.
I want to have a good time.

I want
everyone to have fun.

I feel like you are moving
past it, and I'm moving to it.

I feel like Rosie,
she's asking certain questions

because she has something
calculating in her brain,

and that's what I don't like.

People seem to not be

able to stop talking
about my relationship.

But, like, Rosie,
are you asking questions

or are you already saying no?

I heard this, and she is this,
and they are that.

Because that's
a bad path to go down,

and it's gonna end up
ugly for you.

Ladies are ready for this?

We're ready.
Oh, the teeth are huge.

Are you gonna be here a lot this
summer? Like, what's the plan?

Yeah, we're gonna be here
for three months, four months.

Don't ask me
where I'm living,

because
it's somewhere over there.

Gerry, where am I living?
- Where do I live?

Neighbors.
- There you go.

We're friends.

No, everyone thinks that, though.

- Why do you see a similiary?
- Do you think we look alike?

I went to Dolores' surgeon.
She actually referred me to him.

And we also
have the same dentist.

Oh, so cute.
That's adorable.

Thank you.
- You're welcome.

And we are twins.

Look at you. You told
me I couldn't have a cookie.

Having a [bleep] cupcake,
you----er.

Getting, like, eaten alive.

Having the best time. I'm,
like, standing by

the cookie spot
and having five cookies.

Come on.

I'm gonna
put my shoes on right here.

I'll be right here
if you guys need me.

- I'm gonna put my shoes on
- While you're over here.

I just want to know
what happened at the picnic.

Was there anything that I should
be, like, concerned about?

I don't think so.

Nothing about my
relationship or anything?

What do you mean?

I just want
to know truthfully, like,

was it brought up by you about
the way my relationship is?

Honestly, like,
I was just questioning stuff.

I mean,
Jo-Ellen brought it up.

- Jo-Ellen brought it up?
- Yeah.

She's talking about it,
saying, you're going

through such a hard time.

We were like, oh, my God, what
hard time was she going through?

And then it turned
into so big.

You know what I mean? Like,
I wasn't trying to come for you.

Like, you know, Ashley's there.
She has no idea what

is being talking about.
You know what I mean?

You guys, we're gonna
do sparklers.

All right, here, come with me.
I have some more over here.

- Sounds good.
- All right.

You really never know, like,
who's telling you the truth,

who's stabbing you in the back?

To be honest, like,
yeah, it is very hard to

trust people around here.

One, two, three.

Happy Fourth of July!

Yes.

Rumors in Rhode Island
are very typical.

It's just part of
the culture of our state.

I definitely
know a lot about people.

I just don't say it.

This group, they got
big things behind the scenes,

Big secrets,
big cheating scandals.

I don't know.

I don't lie.

There's really no reason to.

- The truth, always comes out.
- I say it like it is.

So if somebody says
something to me that I've done?

Yeah. Any other questions?
Did you want details?

You're gonna say
all the rumors about me?

I'm gonna say all
the rumors about you.

And I've held my
tongue all summer long.

This season in "The Real
Housewives of Rhode Island"...

Are you ready for this?

Just when you thought
it couldn't get crazy.

- Oh, my God.
- Cheers to effing Rhode Island.

Cheers to not
being sorry and moving on.

I've been waiting
for this all da because,

like, I'm about to climax.

I need to know what happened.

You don't get to
take it off, Ashley.

What am I supposed to do?

Not eat and drink?

- Holy sh--.
- What happened?

Rubbing alcohol.

I like what
they call stripper juice.

Give me that and I'll be happy.

I went to a psychic once,
and she said you carry

so many
people's energies on you.

She's like, you need to go into
an Epstein salt bath.

Epstein.

Is that Ru La La?

- Rulla's half-Syrian.
- She's a boss.

Drop the mic. Here I am.

There were echoes of Rulla's
husband having an affair.

I want you to know
that it's happening currently.

It was told to me that you were
perpetuating in for a round.

When someone calls my
wife's work, that's a huge

ing problem for me.

I just pray
that you somehow hurt him.

I'm 42.
I haven't had any kids.

I don't think it's something
that we should rule out.

This is like a deal breaker.
You should tell me now.

I know that you're
insecure about how Audrey's.

doesn't bring enough in.

The two people in my life are
the most wonderful people ever.

Now you're saying that you do
have two boyfriends? Like, what?

Every girl waits for
their big fairy tale moment.

And sometimes I feel like
I don't think I'll ever get one.

Why didn't you ever, like,
love me?

If I didn't show it

it's 'cause
that's how I was raised.

Just [bleep] your fake as.

- me.
- All right, sorry. So crying.

You----ing deserve it.

with my husband,
with my kids,

my job.

I'm gonna ruin
your----ing life.

She doesn't like spotlight
on anybody else but her,

the narcissist mother----er.

- You are a rotten human being.
- What have I done to you?

You're literally
- ing no one!

You're not welcome here.
You're a----ing bitch.

Get the [bleep] out.

My makeup looked
really pretty today.

When your makeup
looks the best,

it's actually
when you cry the most.