All language subtitles for Machos.Alfa.S04E02.en

You want your marriage to work,
and you get a vasectomy?

Kids kill romance.

-You're too young.
-That's why I'm doing it.

It's a good thing
if Raúl doesn't reproduce.

That's right. If you're gonna mess
with God's plan, do it right.

Poor Marimar.

God is omnipotent.

If he wants me to be a father,
a vasectomy won't stop him.

A living room with lots of natural light.
A built-in kitchen.

There's a guest bathroom and…

Azucena, sorry.
Do they force you to dress like that?

What?

I'm asking because it's illegal
to force you to wear

skirts or heels just for being a woman.

-Santi.
-Ignore him. You look gorgeous.

Raúl!

Forgive them.
We took a deconstruction course.

Yeah, and it resonated more
with some of us than others.

Shall we see the bedrooms?

-They're too small.
-And we're not sharing a bathroom.

Who cares? We're not gonna sleep here.

Sorry, but the bed is key in a love shack.

-Didn't we say this wasn't a love shack?
-But if something comes up…

We need to shower. They can smell it.

I'm not renting an apartment
so he can cheat on Marimar.

Why did we all come?
We're never gonna agree.

I'm off. I have a surgery appointment.

Azucena, find us more options.

Raúl, freeze your sperm.
You'll regret it later.

Call us when you're done, okay?
Surgery is serious.

Relax. One little snip, and I'm out.

-Okay, bye.
-Bye.

ALPHA MALES

Honey, you're back early.

How are you? Did you have a good day?

Very good. I'm gonna lie down a bit.

Why are you walking like that?

Santi.

He hit me down there playing padel.
It's a bit swollen.

-Let me see.
-No, it's embarrassing.

-I'm your wife.
-It looks gross.

-And I'm a nurse. Come on.
-Careful. I'll do it.

Let's see.

Honey, you have a huge bruise.
You need to see a doctor.

I just came from the ER.

They've told me to ice it,
take ibuprofen, and rest.

I'm gonna rest.

I'd feel better
if Jorge took a look at it.

-Who's Jorge?
-The urologist at my hospital.

I'll see if he can fit us in.

Isn't going to the urologist
interfering with God's plan?

Thanks, Mayumi.
Paz, I can't go with you to Barcelona.

I have a ton of meetings tomorrow,
a conciliation hearing…

Honey, delegate.

The key to success
is exploiting competent people.

You're rehearsing your talk with me?

The deputy prime minister's coming.

You can make contacts.

-Meet important people.
-I can't.

And then you and I can go for dinner
somewhere really nice.

We can stay at a good hotel,
have breakfast in bed.

Come on, I want to go with my wife.
What did I get married for?

I'll pack your suitcase.

It's been tough.

I mean, everyone warns you,
but it's not until you experience it…

We're doing great. This is bringing us
closer together as a couple.

Not as a couple. As friends.

He's got postpartum depression, and I…

Sorry.

I feel like I'm a terrible mother.

I told her it's okay not to breastfeed.

I wasn't breastfed.

-And look at me.
-No, it's not just that.

The unconditional,
irrational, infinite love

I should be feeling for my baby,
well, I'm not.

I'm not feeling it.

-What do you mean?
-Pedro, this is a judgment-free space.

I like him,
but sometimes I'm on the balcony,

and I think, "What if I throw him off?"

Not that I want
to throw him off, right? But…

I don't know.
I'm afraid of myself, you know?

What if one day I lose control,

and boom, I do it?

Having intrusive thoughts
is perfectly normal.

It happens to a lot of moms.

Oh.

Okay.

I do love him, okay?
I mean, I care about him a lot.

Yeah, you love him very much,

but one day I might find him
floating face down in the pool, right?

I shouldn't have said anything.

If I drop him,
you'll think I did it on purpose.

I'm kidding.

Just in case, I'll bathe him today.

Gael was crying. He was hungry.

-Basilio.
-How's the lady you ran over?

Good.

She was so dramatic.
She threw herself at the car.

Right.

Right, what?

Asshole.

Hey, Esther. Do you have a minute?

For the boss, always.

This is your third accident.
And this time you fell asleep?

I always get the worst students.

We've worked together for many years,
and I really care about you.

Thanks. I care about you too.

But you understand I have to let you go.

You're firing me?

Girl, 22,000 bucks in compensation.

And I wanted to leave for free.
Thank God he spoke first.

Wow, is this bag real?

My husband's in trouble if it isn't.
Twelve hundred.

The new one's 3,500. Same model.

Esther, save your money.
Because being an actress…

You too? No support
from my husband or friend.

Guess I'll buy myself a bag.
This is a gift for being courageous.

Do whatever you want.

What's wrong? You're so bitter.

I have to go to Barcelona with Paz.

All day running after her.
Only her stuff matters.

She set you up so you wouldn't be
a trophy wife, but you are.

Does it look good on me?

Declined.

I'm not like these women, okay?

I'm a qualified professional.

What's wrong with that?

You're living a dream,
and you don't even realize it.

Try this one. No, not this one.
Luis will see it. This one.

Bring me another one.

What now?

Erika, honey.

"Short battery life."

"Do not use in the bathtub."

Waterproof, my ass.

Fucking society.

They won't let me adopt.
It's nothing but problems.

Because I'm a single male parent,
of course.

Why does everyone praise
single mothers but marginalize me?

Weren't you a feminist?

And the age gap between me and the kid
has to be less than 40 years.

I don't want some jerk-off
in my house, okay?

Oh my God, what do I do?

You can get inseminated,
but what about us?

Tough shit. Hire a surrogate mother.

Degrading. It objectifies women.

-How much? I'll carry it.
-That's all I need. Another kid with you.

As friends, like Pedro and Daniela.
But you raise it.

Blanca, we're not friends.

What are we, then?

You're a squatter, and I'm an idiot.

Dad, it's already been invented.
Co-parenting.

What?

-What are you doing here?
-I missed you.

What did you say I should do?

Co-parenting.

What's that?

We connect people who want to be parents,
but not as a couple.

They raise a child
without any emotional or sexual bond.

But I wanted the kid for myself.

Dad, it's good for the kid
to have a mother.

Okay, a mother's fine.
But I don't want a girlfriend.

She's saying you won't.

He's had bad experiences.

The traditional model doesn't work.
Just look at the divorce rates.

Marriage and parenthood
shouldn't go hand in hand.

I totally agree, Soledad. Yes.

I'm happy to have a little brother.
It'll keep him busy.

-I moved out and he's struggling.
-Enough.

Come on, I'll sign you up. Full name?

-How much would this cost?
-Eight hundred plus taxes.

Four hundred now,
the rest once we've found a co-mother.

Compared to a surrogate, it's a bargain.

It includes legal advice,
a private pre-conception agreement,

and postnatal settlement agreement.

Isn't this a bit
like commercializing parenthood?

When has having a child ever been free?

Santiago Peralta.

I need your criminal record
and a psychological test for your profile.

Hobbies, political views…

Progressive. And I'm deconstructed.
Write that down.

When can he start
meeting potential candidates?

Are you free this afternoon?

What?

Hit by a ball? Playing padel?

It hardly hurts anymore.

He can't even walk.

-Patriarchal pact.
-What?

Patriarchal pact.

I was a little scared
because we're trying to become parents,

and I don't know
if this will affect his fertility.

-At the ER, they said it wouldn't.
-Well, we'll have to keep an eye on it.

But I have to tell you that,
after a certain age,

the chances of conceiving
are greatly reduced.

Right.

Anyway, we have
a great assisted reproduction team here.

No. We want to conceive naturally.

We want it to be given to us as a gift.

Well, good luck.

Artificial insemination isn't Christian.
God tempers the wind to the shorn lamb.

Don't you feel less of a man
now that you're sterile?

You feel less of a man
if you reproduce. Look at him.

Pedro!

-Why don't you leave him with Daniela?
-No! Not with Daniela.

Man, you're a fucking mess.
Get a checkup or something.

I already did.
My testosterone's through the floor.

-Careful. You can lose muscle mass.
-Your boobs look bigger.

"In men,

testosterone levels drop after childbirth,
especially if they take care of the baby."

-It's mutation.
-Hi, Dad.

Feminism is degenerating our DNA.

"But this will lead to better
cognitive development in the child."

That's what Mom's been doing
for you all her life.

Dad, there's no money!

Unlock it.

-What are you doing?
-Installing Tinder.

You'll see how fast
your testosterone goes up.

You're gonna let him?

Whatever.

My dad wants me
to get a nurse for my mother.

Says he's overwhelmed.
Yeah, right. Me too.

Damn, Marimar.

Huh?

Nurse, Catholic, unemployed.
She's perfect.

And she'll get out.
I can't take it anymore.

Well, I don't know
if Marimar would want to.

-Ask her.
-No.

You show up at my place
and somehow bring it up.

How do I bring it up?

I don't know, dude.
I gave you the idea. Figure it out.

Okay, Pedrito.

Start fucking.

"Looking for a serious relationship."

You'll fuck more.

Erika, honestly, I have a life.
Don't call me about stupid things.

You think Ulises kissing a classmate

in the school bathroom is a stupid thing?

In eighth grade, a classmate blew
Carlos Gallego in the locker room.

Miss Popsicle. That's what we called her.

Miss Popsicle?

Because you eat it like this,
and squeeze it.

Yeah, I get it.

That was her name until senior year.
I can't even remember her real one.

And to avoid that kind of thing,
we prefer to talk to the parents.

Have you already had a talk
about sexuality with Ulises?

Of course. Yes.

Since we had
that little problem with porn.

Erika, I don't know
what kind of mother you think I am.

My God, Miss Popsicle.
I wonder what happened to her.

Mom?

Ulises, honey!

How was school? Did you have a good day?

Can Valentina come over?

-Come over?
-To study. We have an exam.

Sure.

Luis! Go home. We have a problem.

You men are impossible.

You're clumsy, vulgar,
liars, insensitive, shallow.

I've done the math to have it alone.
I can't. It's impossible.

The crib, the stroller,
the car seat, diapers, formula.

Because I'm not breastfeeding.

And I say to him, "There's another woman,
right?" He says, "No!"

And I see that jerk on Instagram
with a blonde and a stroller.

You want to be a mom
to make your ex jealous?

Wanna take a selfie,
like it's our first date?

Vulgar, stingy, thugs, pigs, egocentric.

Daycare, babysitter,
orthodontist, psychologist.

-What kind of dad are you looking for?
-I asked for a guy with blue eyes.

Well, I have brown eyes. Always have.

Sometimes, when the sun hits me,
they go sort of green.

And your father, or a brother?

My cousin.
But those were probably contact lenses.

Arrogant, lazy, jealous, simple.

Right. If we're so bad,
why don't you have a kid by yourself?

Well, because a kid needs a father.

Sure.

Esther, if they said they're studying,
then they must be.

Sure. With the door closed?
Don't be so naive.

I want to bring a friend too.

-You're too young.
-To study.

Iris, sneak in unannounced,

and let us know what they're doing. Go.

I'm the little sister.
I don't have to watch my brother.

Worst-case scenario.

Instead of studying,
they're… discovering their bodies.

How awful!

It's our son's privacy.
We have to respect that.

Are you in a rush to be a granddad?

-Ulises, honey.
-Go in.

No. Hey!

See?

So, how are those polynomials going?

Don't worry. We don't want to interrupt.

We have a little something for you.

We'll leave them here. Just in case.

Okay, then. Keep on studying, guys.

-You know how they work?
-Did they explain it at school?

Okay.

You take one.

You open it carefully,
because it can break.

And we'll get in trouble.

You take it by the tip…

-Give me your finger.
-What?

Give me your finger.

Two's better.

You unroll it slowly like this,
all the way to the end. There.

And that's it.

See how easy it is?
Okay, then. Keep on studying, guys.

If it kills the mood,
you can put it on with your mouth.

Look. You take one like this. Okay?

Put it in your mouth. It may taste weird.
It's normal. It's the lubricant.

Luis, your finger.

No. The other one.

You do it like this.

Wait a second. Like this.

Like this. Okay?

And that pretty much covers it.

Any doubts, we're in the living room.

I started my first company when I was 22.

And in meetings,
they mistook me for the secretary.

I'd say, "Yes, we can do that."

And the other guy would say, "Okay, love."

And he would ask my CFO.

Asshole. I'm the one paying his salary!

The deputy prime minister.

-I'll get another drink.
-No, let me introduce you.

Paz.

Congratulations. I loved your talk.

Carmen, how are you?

If only the next generation of girls
had more role models like you.

This is Luz, my wife.

If you want a divorce,
she'll help you screw over your husband.

-Come on.
-Yes.

-Nice to meet you.
-Likewise.

Excuse me.
Paz, the interview for the video podcast.

Excuse me. I'll be right back.

So, how's Congress? Is it busy?

-Do you make margaritas?
-Yes.

One. For now.

Hi. Can I buy you a drink?

I'm Gerard.

As you wish, Gerard.

How about I tell him
to take it up to my room?

Well, it's a bit of a tacky offer.

Name your price. How much do you charge?

Gerard, I'm not a whore.

Tonight, you'll have to jerk off.

Forgive me, but a pretty girl like you,
dressed like that,

alone at the bar at this time of night…

What must I be? A whore.

Thank you. This asshole will pay.

My boyfriend doesn't want any kids,
but I love him very much.

I don't want to leave him.

I'm not into having kids. Forget it.

Santi's an architect.

Cool. I install water heaters.
Give me a beer.

Can I get you something?

Sebas!

Holy shit. No fucking way.

You want to be a dad too?

Well, that's a great plan.

That ship's sailed for me.

-And Patxaran died.
-Too bad.

I feel really lonely.

If I adopt another dog, it'll die too.
Kids live longer.

I don't know whether to get
a kid or a parrot. What do you think?

A parrot's better, Nagore. Yeah.

I'm gonna call him Tannin. Tannin.

Oh, as in…

Tannin!

-How did it go?
-Leave me alone.

Let's discuss this co-parenting thing.

I live here too.
You can't bring home a crying baby.

Then move out.

The divorce agreement's clear.
I'm the one who gets to use the house.

Until Álex becomes independent.
Do you see Álex around here?

She'll come back.

We should sell it and split the money.

Then we'd have to move someplace worse.
We get on fine now.

Blanca, I can't stand you.

Just running into you
automatically puts me in a bad mood.

Hearing your footsteps,
when you flush the toilet,

seeing your shampoo there in the shower,
your keys in the entrance

with that absurd key chain
with the pink pom-pom.

I'm not selling.

-Hi, Marimar.
-Luis.

Come in.

I have this serious problem,

and I wanted to tell my friend Raúl.

What happened, buddy?

I'll leave you two alone.

No, honey, stay.
We're husband and wife, one flesh.

Look, it's just…

My mother had a stroke,
and my father offered to take care of her,

because they love each other very much.
But he's getting old.

That is a problem, yes.

I don't want to put them in a nursing home
because that's too sad.

And expensive.
You've got a shitty salary, your wife--

The ideal…

The ideal way to ease my dad's burden

would be to get someone
to help him, you know?

But where am I gonna find a nurse?

Yes, that would be a solution.

Well, maybe I can ask
one of my colleagues.

It's just that my father's
very particular.

It would have to be someone
he could really trust.

And they should do it almost for free.

Entirely for free.

Well, for free…

It would have to be something altruistic,
you know? Like volunteering.

Like Christian charity.

Yes, exactly.

If you want, I can go for a few hours
until you find someone.

-Of course.
-Yes.

Marimar.

That's right. You're a nurse.

And now a housewife.
You have plenty of time.

Well, I want to use that time for you.

Yeah, that too.

I'll get some beer,
and we'll celebrate, okay?

Great.

Thank you, Marimar.

Hey, we need to talk, right?

What did you do to Gael?

About Patricia. She can't breastfeed him.

-Why not?
-Hello? Because she's not his mom?

That's been done for generations.
Wet nurses…

-Pedro, that's medieval.
-Didn't you say formula milk was crap?

What do I do, then?

Yoga.

No way.

I'll prepare a bottle for him.
I'm his mother.

-He doesn't like it. Get a different one.
-We've already tried three kinds.

Gael, love, please.

Miss, I can breastfeed him.

No. He'll drink this.

He doesn't like it, honey.

It's okay. It makes me very happy.

Come here, love.
You'll see how yummy my milk is.

-Where are you going?
-To do some yoga.

YOU'VE MATCHED WITH KIMBERLY

Under Article 90
of the Voluntary Jurisdiction Law,

you can request the house be auctioned
if you can't agree on the price.

And if she refuses to sell,
you can file a lawsuit.

Damn, Lola. You know everything.

And I love you too.

Yes, you could file
a termination of co-ownership.

But it's slow, expensive, and if the house
ends up at a public auction,

you have no control over the price.

Well, a friend recommended it to me.

A lawyer?

No, but she's very smart.

Speaking from experience,

it's better if you reach
an amicable agreement.

-Amicable with Blanca?
-Santi, I'm getting a call.

Wait! Do you have any lesbian friends
who might wanna have a child with me?

No, I'm sorry. Bye.

Paz, for fuck's sake!

-Jeez…
-I was talking to a client!

He's your friend.

Respect my job, dammit.

What I do is important too.

Okay, then.

But does she iron or not?

She's a nurse, not a maid.
She's here to take care of Mom. Period.

Can't she do both?

Look.

Hey, Marimar. Everything okay?

Yes. Your mother's a sweetheart.

I love this girl. She's so sweet.

Just like your disgusting wife.

Forgive her.
Since the stroke, she's had no filter.

Santi.

Where are you, man?
I'm here with the real estate agent.

Coming.

Can you iron?

Dad!

Well, I have to go.

What?

See? This is more suited to our needs.

Luis, it's horrible. And they're playing
reggaeton in the courtyard.

You can barely hear it in your bedroom.

Our bedroom?

Aren't you two a couple?

-No.
-No. I'm heterosexual.

-And a cop.
-Sorry. I didn't mean to…

No problem.
Actually, I see that as social progress.

Being confused for a gay couple?

Well, normalizing the idea
that two men can be a couple.

Right?

So do you want to see the bedroom?

-No.
-Yes.

Just in case we bring some chicks.

-Chicks? That was unnecessary.
-Shut up.

-Kimberly? Where's she from?
-She's American. Here on a work trip.

-Shit. A foreigner? Be careful.
-Why?

When you fuck a foreigner,
you're fucking for Spain.

-You're promoting Brand Spain.
-What?

If you don't cut it, they go home saying,
"Spaniards don't know how to fuck."

And they've only fucked one,
but the damage is done.

Maybe her friends will decide
not to come on vacation,

and go to Italy or Croatia instead.

Do you know tourism is 13% of GDP?

You're really sick.

Pedro, Brand Spain. It's here.

Raúl?

Angelines. It's a great apartment.

-Where's Azucena?
-She couldn't come.

Do you want to get a drink?
I don't want to go back home.

No, I'm gonna stop by my parents'
to see how Marimar is doing.

Does Esther know?

Know what?

That your teenage crush
is taking care of your mother.

It hasn't come up.
And I don't think it will.

Remember when her getting fired
from Alpha Males didn't come up?

No, it's not the same.

That was… It's not the same.

Withholding information is lying.

I disagree.

You do. But what about Esther?

Marimar? Your teenage crush?

Marimar, my friend Raúl's wife.

-Were there no other nurses?
-No free ones.

Unless you can find one.
Or pay one with your salary.

Oh, right. You resigned.

No. I was fired, smart-ass.

And they gave me 22,000 in compensation.

That's awesome. Just what we needed!

The money's for my short film.

-What short film?
-Luis, I want to be a director.

-Didn't you want to act?
-If no one hires me, I'll hire myself.

-But…
-If you like it, great.

-If not, go with Marimar.
-She's married!

That's why you're not with her?

What does this pest want now?

Why can't she call you?

Erika, how are you?

Who are you
to give condoms to my daughter?

Better a box of condoms than an abortion.

They were both in bed,
with the door closed.

-What do you mean, in bed?
-Studying.

But at that age, you're easily distracted.

This one said
we should discuss sex with the kid.

No, wait.

Yours! Not teach my girl
how to put on condoms with her mouth.

Oh, come on. Who hasn't
put on a condom with their mouth?

You haven't? It's so practical.

-They don't notice.
-Yeah, they do notice.

The purpose of this meeting
isn't to blame anyone.

It's to work together for the kids' sake.

I'd rather they studied on their own.

I'd rather your daughter
wasn't a cocktease.

-She made out with Ulises in the bathroom!
-My daughter?

No.

Ulises kissed Sofía.

Oh.

Great. All sorted.

Let's go.

This is a disaster, Sole.

I'm done. I'm having second thoughts
about having kids.

Eva, let the bond grow naturally.

What bond? They're hopeless.

I'm not asking for a PhD in astrophysics,
but at least some basics.

-Sorry.
-I'll be right with you.

No, I was coming to cancel too.
I'm really unhappy with your selection.

See? All the guys were immature, broke.
They only want to share the expenses.

As if a baby was a rideshare.

Exactly! There's a woman
who wants a girl with blue eyes.

I mean, that's massive objectification.

Sole, this is a dump
full of desperate men.

Is it so hard to meet a normal person?

Why don't you go have a drink together?

Girl, I'm worried about you.

You haven't posted any content
in two weeks.

I don't know what to post.

How hard it is to be a mother,
that you're not sleeping.

Pedro's the one getting up at night.

He's a great dad. I'm really surprised.

Or your milk problem,
which is giving you a hard time.

-Patricia's the one breastfeeding him.
-No, don't post that.

That it's hard,

but the love you feel for your son
makes up for everything.

You don't feel love for your son either?

Yes, but…

Never mind.

Rosa says it's a process.

That imagining
tossing him off the balcony will pass.

Yeah, better not post anything for now.

He's asleep.

Where are you going?

I have a work dinner.

You're on paternity leave.

They're really lost with the development
of the second season.

They asked me to meet
the streaming platform to reassure them.

Don't say anything about our lives.

If the influencer gets pregnant,
you'll be in trouble.

-I can go with peace of mind, right?
-Goodbye.

-He's so sweet lately, isn't he?
-Sis.

Maybe he really did deconstruct himself.

He's not going to a work dinner.

How do you know?

Subtitle translation by: Olga Garrido