All language subtitles for Bewitched.S05E22.Going.Ape.Imprint.1080p.BluRay.FLAC2.0.H.264-BTN_track5_[eng]

Whoa. Okay, Tabitha.

It's almost time
for your lunch. Let's go.

Okay, but just
10 more swings?

No, sweetheart.
I have so many things to do.

Daddy's coming home
from Canada this afternoon.

- Ten is too many.
- Nine more?

Tabitha, life is not
one big swing.

- But, Mommy--
- No buts.

Five. That's
my final offer.

One.

You stay right here,
Bonzo.

I'm gonna give it
a running start.

Hurry up, Tabitha.

Mommy, I only have little
legs. For me, this is hurrying.

That's right, sweetheart.
Well, uh--

- Mommy, is that cake for me?
- No.

We're gonna have a
welcome-home party for Daddy.

- With cake and candles?
- Sure!

Two. One for each day
he's been gone.

Daddy! Daddy!

No, no, sweetheart.
That's not Daddy.

He's not coming home
till late this afternoon.

Hi there.
Where did you come from?

- Hey!
- Monkey! Monkey!

I want to play
with the monkey.

Come here, you silly
little thing.

He's probably lost. Maybe he's
trying to tell us where he lives.

Yeah, well, sorry, old man, but
I can't quite understand you.

I want to play
with the monkey.

You finish your lunch, young lady, and
after your nap, we'll take him home,

wherever that is.

No doubt about it. You are
a monkey with a problem.

Okay, fella.

Come on down from there,
and let's see.

Oh, dear. Well, I-- I guess
you're not getting my message,

and I'm certainly not
getting yours,

so, uh, let's just make this
easy on both of us.

Uh, a monkey you are.
A monkey you'll be...

in human form,
when I count to three.

One, two, three.

Oh, there.
That's better.

Sure is, lady.
A lot better.

- You'll never know how much.
- Oh, well, I don't know.

I thought you were
a cute little monkey.

I'm not a monkey.
I'm a chimpanzee.

Well, I-I-I'm sorry, but they are the
same family. People do get them confused.

Well, I don't know
why they should.

Do they con-- confuse a-- a shark with
a goldfish or a lion with a pussycat?

Uh, yeah-- yes, well, uh--

If you just tell me where you live and
who you belong to, I'll take you home.

No, you won't.

I'm not going back
to that little boy.

Oh?

Poor little fella's probably crying
his eyes out for you right now.

The kid's a brat! He cares more
about his kite than he does about me.

When I take you home,
I'll talk to him about that.

- No, you won't.
- Why not?

I've waited a long time
for my chance to be a man.

Well, the point is,
you are not a man,

and you can't remain a man,
not even for one day.

Think of it this way.
I'm almost a man already.

I just missed it on the
evolutionary ladder by one rung.

Now how would you feel?

That's life. Think of the
poor fella who invented 6-Up.

Oh, boy. I had to pick
a funny witch.

You have one human quality
already. You're a wise guy.

Oh, I'm wise all right--
wiser than most people.

How many people in that park
today knew you were a witch?

Oh, my stars.

Now don't be stubborn
about this.

Okay! Okay.
You have a choice.

Back home or to the zoo.

How ya like them bananas?

Yes?

Mr. Tate, Miss
Tucker and Mr. Flynn are here to see you.

Uh, show them in.

Oh!
Mr. Tate.

Miss Tucker, good to see
you again. Uh, Mr. Flynn.

- But, uh, wasn't your appointment for tomorrow?
- Mm-hmm.

Bobby here came up with an idea
that couldn't wait until tomorrow.

Uh, Darrin Stephens is
your account executive,

and I'd prefer he be here for-- -
Mr. Tate, we don't need your Mr. Stephens.

- Go ahead, Bobby.
- Right.

- First, the models.
- Models?

Oh-ho-ho!

♪

Now-- Now just picture this.
♪

A TV commercial, and these magnificent
specimens walk on the screen.

Now the pitch is
to the ladies.

"To bring out the best
in your beast,

give him Brawn Cologne!"

That's really--

Well-- But, of course,
once you get the music, it'll--

Mr. Stephens and I will, uh,
give this some thought.

Remarkable the way they
get those things to pop.

Uh, those things are
called pectorals.

It's remarkable anyway.

- Miss Tucker, will you step over here, please?
- Uh-huh.

- Mi-- Miss Tucker--
- Hmm.

You owe it to yourself
to listen to Stephens's ideas.

We don't want to rush
into anything.

You've been talking
about Darrin Stephens for two days.

I'm beginning to think he's a
figment of your imagination.

Uh, Darrin has been in Canada on business,
but he'll be back this afternoon,

and we'll see him
first thing in the morning.

We'll see
him today or not at all.

Oh, good idea. Well, we'll go over
to Darrin's house right now...

and catch him
the minute he gets in.

Oh, come on. Be a good sport.
Tell me where you live.

Let me put it this way.

Either you tell me your address,
or I'll change ya back anyhow.

Then you'll never
find out, will ya?

Okay. Game time is over.

A chimp you once were. A--

♪
Mother!

Oh!

Aren't you going to introduce
me to your gentleman friend?

He is no friend,
and he is no gentleman.

He's rather cute
for a mortal.

- Mother, he's an ape.
- Most men are.

- I'm a chimp.
- If you're a chimp, I'm a monkey's uncle.

Two funny witches.

Fun and games are over.

A chimp you once were.
A chimp you will be,

little and hairy, when I count
to-- Mommy! Mommy! I woke up.

- Saved by the baby.
- Not for long.

I'll deal with you later.

Oh, you're a regular
little swinger, aren't you?

- Ah, Endora!
- Mr. Tate.

Oh, uh, Miss Tucker, Mr. Flynn, uh,
this is Darrin Stephens's mother-in-law,

- Mrs.-- Uh-- Uh--
- Endora.

- Do come in, please.
- Thank you.

- Is Darrin home yet?
- No, no, he isn't,

and the house is so empty
without the dear boy.

- Where's Sam?
- She's upstairs with Tabitha.

Mmm. Uh, Miss Tucker's a creator
of Brawn Cologne for men.

- Oh?
- And Darrin's the account executive.

Mr. Tate seems to think
that Mr. Stephens...

is going to pull the perfect advertising
campaign right out of his attaché case.

I'm, uh, very curious,
Miss Tucker.

Why does a woman run a company
that makes a man's cologne?

For money.

And there'll be plenty of that
to go around once we get rolling.

Not if we don't find the perfect
image for our product, there won't.

And the way things are going,
I'm beginning to think--

- Who is that?
- His name?

It's, uh, Harry--
Harry Simian.

- Divine, isn't he?
- Oh, he certainly is.

You know what I'm thinking? I'm
thinking we've found our man.

Oh, he'd love
to hear you say that.

Harry?

There you go.
Turn around.

Oh, my.

You look very pretty
for Daddy's homecoming party.

Now you stay up here
and color,

and I'll get Grandmama to come up
and see how pretty you look, okay?

Okay, Mommy.

Oh, yes. Yes, I feel that he's the
perfect model for Brawn Cologne.

Suppose I set up the galley first
thing in the morning for some pictures?

Mmm. And if it, uh--
if it works out,

how about
a long-term contract?

The longer the better.

Hi, Larry.
What a surprise.

Oh, hi, Sam.

Uh, this is Evelyn Tucker
and Mr. Flynn.

- Samantha Stephens, Darrin's wife.
- How do you do?

Sorry to barge in on you
like this, Sam, but, uh,

Miss Tucker was very anxious to
meet with Darrin on the account.

Oh, he should be home any minute.
I-- We don't need him anymore.

We just found the answer
to our campaign.

Oh?

Miss Tucker thinks that
Darwin's cousin Harry...

is the perfect image
for her Brawn Cologne.

Well.

Harry is expected at home.

I-- I mean, he has a little
boy waiting for him at home.

- Don't you, Harry?
- He'll keep.

That's fine. Then we'll see
you down at the office at 9:00.

Oh, now wait--
wait a minute, Larry.

Uh, don't you think we ought to wait
for Darrin to get home before we--

Well, I-- I mean, um--
I-- I mean, after all,

Brawn Cologne
is Darrin's account.

I am Brawn Cologne,
and I'm satisfied.

Well, we won't take up
any more of your time, Sam.

Ask Darrin to call me
when he comes in.

Good-bye, everybody.
Oh, good-bye, Harry.

- See you tomorrow.
- I'll be there.

No, you won't.

Sam, we're talking about
an $800,000 account.

Now if Harry isn't Downton bright
and early tomorrow morning,

tell Darrin
not to come in either.

- I'll see ya tomorrow.
- Right, Harry. Bye, Endora, Sam.

Not a bad
start for my first day as a man.

As I was saying,
a chimp you once were.

A chimp you will be, little and
hairy, when I count to three.

One, two, three.

Okay. Come on.

You go out there and play...

while I think of something
to tell Darrin.

Tell him the truth. He's getting an
$800,000 account. He should be thrilled.

- He'll be furious.
- He's never what he should be.

Hello?

Oh, hi, sweetheart.

Oh, what a shame.

How much longer do you think
you'll be stuck there?

Two days?
Oh, that's marvelous.

No, I-- I-- I mean, it's marvelous
that you're doing so well there.

Uh, no! No, no.
Don't call Larry.

I'll call him for you.

Everything's just fine her.

Sweetheart, you have fun
and-- and don't worry.

Good-bye.

I'll do the worrying
for both of us.

Here's Grandmama to babysit while
you take your chimp off to work.

A monkey, posing
for a man's cologne.

Where did I go wrong?

Look on the positive side,
my darling.

Brawn has its image,

Harry has a crack at being
human, and Durwood is a hero.

Now look on the negative side.
Harry is a chimp.

There's no telling
what he can do.

He could ruin everything, and Larry
will find some way to blame Darrin.

All right. Wake up.

A monkey you are.
A monkey you'll be,

but in human form,
when I count to three.

One, two, three.

Okay. You're man for a day.

That means 9:00 to 5:00.

Oh, what's the hurry? They're gonna
take pictures of you in an hour.

I'm not good for anything till
I've had my morning coconut.

A star is born.

All right. Hold it
just like that, Harry.

That's it. That's it.

Okay. Bring that light
in there.

All right. Now pick
the drink up, Harry.

That's it. That's it.

All right. Now--
Now look sexy, Harry.

That's
it. Boy, that's good.

- Good, good.
- Is that all?

Oh, baby,
we've just begun.

All right. Now hit him
with that spot.

Yeah, that's good. Good.

Okay, Harry. Now let's have
some good action shots.

All right.
You ready, Harry?

Okay, swing!

Hey, get down from there!

It's the tennis racket you're
supposed to swing, dum-dum.

Who does he think he is,
callin' me a dum-dum?

Oh, now, Harry, you just
relax. You're doing fine.

I'll find out
how much longer it'll be.

- Just a few more shots.
- This is the worst apple I've ever tasted.

- It's wax.
- Wax? You humans have strange appetites.

All right, everybody.
Break's over. Back to work.

Come on, my boy. Let's get out
there and pose. Time is money.

Why so glum?
You did beautifully today.

Well, it was harder
than I thought.

Just the same, I must admit
you made it as a man.

- I don't want to be a man.
- Oh, boy.

And I thought humans
were complicated.

Well, I didn't like it today.
I didn't like it at all.

All those humans cared about
was work. Nobody wanted to play.

You're not
giving it a fair chance, Harry.

You asked for one full day.
It's only half over.

I've seen enough.

As a chimp,
nobody pushed me around.

People didn't yell at me
or call me dum-dum.

They patted me and fed me.

Well,

now that your pictures
for Brawn are finished,

it's no problem
changing you back.

Great!

Well, good-bye, Samantha.
You're a queen among witches.

And you're a prince
among chimps.

Oh. Whoo.

Oh, wait a minute. I gotta give you
the address of the kid who owns me.

Oh.

Sweet little fella. Probably crying his
eyes out over me.

- Hello?
- Oh, hi, Larry.

Sam, we rushed the pictures
through, and Harry is sensational!

Well, all's well
that ends well.

Ends my foot!
This is only the beginning.

Evelyn and I have mapped out
the whole campaign.

TV spots, personal appearances
around the country-- the works.

Well, I'm afraid you're gonna have
to get someone else, Larry, because--

Nonsense. Harry's it.

He may be a little inexperienced, but
he's got the mystique for the product.

Well, his mystique is-- is a mistake.
You see, he doesn't want to--

Sam, will you let me worry
about what he wants?

Just see to it he's down here at
5:00 for the press conference.

And, Sam, lest we forget,

this is an $800,000 account.

Yeah, well,
that's unforgettable, all right.

Yeah, I-- I got you, Larry.

Oh, Darrin-- He'll be--
He'll be very pleased.

Bye.

Okay. You can
change me back now.

Harr-- Harry, I'm afraid
there's been a slight delay.

I don't want a slight delay. I
want to be a chimp right now.

I know. Yeah, I-- I know.

But-- But try to be patient.
Now, um--

No, you can't quit,

but you could be fired.

- Fired? How? I'm too good.
- Just act like the real you. That should do it.

- The real me?
- That's right.

Okay, Harry, baby. Now let's
have that look of distinction.

That's it! Hold it.

Makeup, let's get that shine
off of his nose.

He bit me!

He bit me!
He actually bit me!

That's the animal in him.

Good. Perfect.

Oh, Miss Bond, Charlie.

Oh, Harry, I want you to meet
some friends from the press--

Miss Bond, editor
of Fashion Wear magazine,

and Charles Gilbert
of Sportswear Daily.

This is Brawn Cologne's man,
Harry Simian.

I'm not Brawn's man.

You mean you don't like
being Brawn's man?

Uh, he means, uh,

that he's his own man, hmm?

That's not what I mean.

Guess again.

- Sam, what's he doing?
- Telling the truth.

- You wouldn't want him to lie, would you?
- Of course I would.

Oh!

Brawn's man, my foot.
You're Brawn's beast!

- Uh, he didn't mean that. Tell her you didn't mean that!
- I didn't mean that.

- Oh, I know.
- What I really meant was this.

Oh, he's so playful.

- Oh, I have never been so humiliated in my whole life.
- I know.

Fire that man.

- Get rid of him!
- You're fired right now!

- Out!
- Fine! Fine!

Whee!

Oh, bravo! Bravo!

What is so bravo about
what that gorilla is doing?

Um, why don't you
tell her, Larry?

Uh, why don't you
tell her, Sam?

Oh, well, yes, of course.

Uh, this whole thing was
very carefully staged...

to help kick off
Darrin's new slogan.

"When your man uses
Brawn Cologne,

there's no telling
how wild he might get."

- Did you know about this?
- It all depends.

- Well, I think it's sensational.
- I knew about it.

Tate, I question your methods,
but I approve of the slogan.

Yes, we thought
you'd like it.

And I also approve of the
campaign, on one condition.

What's that?

That I never have to lay eyes on
that ape again as long as I live.

Well, I think that
can be arranged.

Look, Mommy. Monkey!

That's not a monkey,
sweetheart. It's a chimp.

There's a big difference.
At least the chimps think so.

Are they as smart as people?
Some of 'em are smarter.

- What's his name?
- Bonzo.

Hello, Bonzo.

He was lost for a few days,
but he's back now.

Well, I'm sure if you love him
and take very good care of him,

he'll never run away again.

- Say good-bye, Tabitha.
- Good-bye, Bonzo.

So long, Harry.