All language subtitles for Bewitched.S05E20.Mrs.Stephens.Where.Are.You.Imprint.1080p.BluRay.FLAC2.0.H.264-BTN_track5_[eng]

I'm coming!

- Are you the lady of the house?
- Yes.

Well, if you don't mind me
saying so, you're some looker.

I mean, most housewives
that open the door,

they look like they ought to be riding
their brooms instead of sweeping with them.

Careful. Some of
my best friends are witches.

If you've come
about magazines,

we already take more
than we have time for.

No, no, no, no, no. You see,
it's about my trip to Europe.

You see, I just have to
win 150 more points and then--

And the way to win more points
is to sell subscriptions, right?

Well, if you want to put
it that way.

You said it wasn't
about magazines.

It's not. It's about
subscriptions.

Oh, that's probably someone offering
me an absolutely free dance course,

which I can have
for only 24 easy payments.

Hello.
Oh, hi, sweetheart.

I miss you too.
You in Boston already?

It seems we just
put you on the plane.

Everything all right?
You left what where?

A manila envelope on the front seat
of the car marked "Strothers account."

Yeah, well I'll get 'em
to you in no time.

Of course, in a plane,
sweetheart.

Yes. I-I promise.
Bye-bye.

Hey.

Since your hubby's
out of town,

what do you say me and you
go out on it tonight?

I'd love to.

What time do you want
to pick me up, honey?

Ooh.

Victoria, I want you to
come down here this instant!

Oh, do be a good girl
and come along.

- Hello, Miss Parsons.
- Oh, oh, hello, Mrs. Stephens.

You having trouble
with Victoria again?

Well, it's just that she's so dreadfully
good about getting up trees...

and so dreadfully bad
about getting down.

Victoria! Clever girl.

You learned to do it. Yes!

Hi there!

Gracious!
Where did you come from?

The stork brought me?

Serena--

- Miss Parsons, th-this is my cousin, Serena.
- Where did she come from?

The cabbage patch.

Now d-don't you pay any attention
to her. She's a real kook.

B-But she wasn't there,
and then suddenly she was.

N-Now, you know that's
impossible, Miss Parsons.

Your eyes must have
played a trick on you.

What to see me do it again?

- Here I am.
- Oh, dear.

- Serena.
- Well, what do you expect of a kook?

It must be because I haven't been
taking my nerve medicine regularly.

Ohh, that must be it.

Now, Miss Parsons, why don't you run home
and fix yourself a nice pot of hot tea?

Oh, yes. Yes, I guess I'll do
that. Good-bye, Mrs. Stephens.

Good grief, Serena.

What a priceless antique.
Where did you get her?

Don't you make fun of her. She's
one of our nicest neighbors.

You've got
to be kidding.

Ta-ta.

No, I am not kidding.
I admire Miss Parsons.

For what?
For her good kind heart.

Why, she can't even
turn away a stray cat.

How devastatingly dull.

Which reminds me, how long
will Darrin be gone?

How did you know he was away?

Oh, I heard it on the wind.
Good news travels fast.

You know, you're not the only one around
here who can turn people into artichokes.

Blah.

Before we can have our visit,
I have to get this to Darrin.

Well, give it to me. I'll
zap it right into his hand.

No zapping. I promised.

How much longer do you want
the little princess to sleep?

- Oh, about an hour.
- So be it.

By that hourglass.

Swell. I don't suppose you
could have just turned it over?

Manual labor? With
a talent like mine? Never.

Serena, please promise me.

While I'm gone, no more
horsing around.

I'll promise something
better than that.

I'll tidy up the place
for you while you're gone.

Just read a good book.

Oh, I love it, Samantha.

And don't let anybody tell you
that color isn't becoming.

Did you do the dye job
all by yourself?

This happens to be
my natural color.

Oh, Darrin never told me
you were a bleached blonde.

Perhaps he didn't think it was any
of your business, whoever you may be.

Samantha,
what's gotten into you?

I'm not Samantha.
I'm her cousin, Serena.

Oh!

Oh, how do you do.
I'm Samantha's mother-in-law,

and I-I've come
to keep her company.

Oh. Well, she's
out on an errand.

A long errand. I'll
tell her you dropped by.

Why don't I just
come in and wait?

I don't expect
her back for hours.

Good. That'll give us
time for a nice long chat.

We see so little of
Samantha's relatives.

Tell me, are you a cousin on her
mother's side or her father's?

- Her father's.
- Oh, that's interesting.

We've never even met him. I mean,
we don't even know what he does.

Does? Nothing. He basks.

Well, how nice for him.
How did he make his money?

In the basement.

How amusing.

I'm beginning to find you
pretty amusing too, sweetie.

May I take your things?

Thank you.

Where's little Tabitha?
Upstairs.

I think I'll go up
and say hello.

Not now, if you don't mind. She
still has some time to go on her nap.

Oh. I was just
noticing that, um--

- That's a rather unusual hourglass.
- It is?

Yes. I don't think I've ever
seen one quite like it before.

Well, Samantha's always
had unusual taste.

In people, too.

Darrin, for instance,
is extremely unusual.

Why, thank you, Serena. And
speaking of unusual people,

we have met
Samantha's mother.

She's a very sweet person.

I wouldn't say that
to her face.

Speaking of her face,
and just between us,

don't you think her makeup is a tiny
bit overdone for a woman her age?

I mean, she
must be at least--

She admits to a thousand.

I deserved that.

What's so different is
that th-the sand goes up.

It's supposed to go down.

- Really?
- The law of gravity.

Then does it make you
nervous, Mrs. Stephens?

If you want
the truth, very.

Would you like me
to stop it?

If you would.

Better?

No. No, I think
it's worse.

How about some nice, reassuring
sherry? That would be nice.

Right behind you.

Help yourself.

I imagine Samantha keeps a little
sherry on hand for her Uncle Arthur.

Why would you think that?

Oh, don't
misunderstand, Serena.

I think Samantha's Uncle Arthur
has a marvelous sense of humor.

It's just that his, uh--

His practical jokes are
sometimes so unexpected.

Don't you think perhaps
he, um, nips it up a bit?

Occasionally.
Only when he needs reassuring.

That's what I meant.

Perhaps if
you covered it.

It's not dead, Mrs. Stephens.
Besides, I'm timing Tabitha's nap.

- I worry about that child.
- Tabitha?

I can be honest
with you, can't I?

Please do.

Well, Samantha wants to keep
this baby all to herself.

Of course, I wouldn't dream
of saying it to Samantha,

but she's being
very selfish.

And perhaps someone other than her
mother-in-law should advise her.

- For her own good?
- Of course.

And for Tabitha's. Why,
it would break my heart...

to see that darling child follow her
mother's example and grow up to be selfish.

That rips it!

Meow, meow yourself.

Samantha would never forgive
me if I left Tabitha alone.

Maybe some nice dog
will find her.

Stop that!

Stop that, you bad dog!
Leave that kitty alone.

Leave her alone, now.
I'm coming, yes.

Go on! Go on! Go.

Oh, you poor,
sweet little kitty.

Oh, that's a good girl.

Well,
you can talk, can't you?

Well, maybe a nice saucer of warm
milk will help calm you. Come on.

♪

♪ ♪

Serena.

Serena, what are you trying to do?
Deafen the entire neighborhood?

I haven't heard
any complaints.

Well, who can hear
anything over that?

♪

♪ ♪

- How's Tabitha?
- Fine. She's upstairs.

So, let's have some coffee.

And I will fill you in on what's
been going on in our world.

Endora is playing duets on
the sitar with Ravi,

and she's practically
taken over the guru.

He refuses to meditate
with anyone else.

- Someone was here.
- Really? Who was it?

- Serena, stop stalling.
- Who was it?

Oh, yes, your mother-in-law.
How could I possibly forget her?

- She left without her purse?
- Apparently.

Well, I'll call her at home and tell
her it's here, so she won't worry.

- She's not home.
- Where is she?

Now, that is a good question.
But I have a better one.

Why not ask what is she?

Because I'm terrified to.

You're going to be
thrilled. I turned her into a cat.

You what?

A common alley cat.

Serena, how could you?

Because she had her
catty claws into all of us,

including dear Uncle Arthur, whom she
practically accused of being a toss pot.

No, no, don't thank me.
It was a pleasure.

Thanking you isn't exactly
what I have in mind.

You should have heard
what she had to say about you.

I don't care what she--
What'd she say?

I thought you didn't care.

I don't. Where is she?

- Who cares?
- I do.

- You're joshing.
- And she has a husband at home.

Not often, I'm sure.

Serena, for the last time,
where is she?

I don't know where she is.

The last I saw her, she ran out
into the patio and behind the fence.

- I'm going to look for her.
- Oh, what a pity.

- We won't be able to have our little visit.
- That's right.

You're gonna stay
right here and wait,

and I'm gonna find Mrs. Stephens,
and you're going to turn her back.

And then, you are going
to blow out of here.

Oh, Sammy.

You used to be such fun
before you caught mortal it is.

Mrs. Stephens?
Mrs. Stephens!

Yoo-hoo!

Oh, Mrs. Stephens.

Here's the combination
for you.

A year of Liberty and two of Collier's.
And all for only ten dollars.

Mrs. Stephens.
Mrs. Stephens.

Mrs. Stephens? Mrs. Stephens?

- Mrs. Stephens?
- Oh, Samantha. Are you looking for someone?

Well, you might say so.
May I come in?

Is your cousin with you?

- No.
- Oh, then of course.

- What came over him?
- Well, I haven't the faintest idea.

I was helping him win points by
subscribing to Liberty and Collier's.

I wouldn't feel
too sorry for him.

- Those magazines haven't been published for years.
- Oh, my goodness.

Miss Parsons, we have
recently acquired a pet cat.

- Oh, lovely!
- Yes.

Well, it isn't too lovely at the
moment. You see, she ran away.

- I thought maybe she'd turned up here.
- Well, as a matter of fact...

- a stray did turn up here a while back.
- Oh, good!

Yes.

- Which one is she?
- Well, I can't really tell. They look so much alike.

She meowed a lot
when she first arrived.

That would be the one. I'm surprised
you don't know your own pet.

Yes.
Well, a-as I said,

I haven't had her very long,
and-and she's sort of a gadabout,

so I haven't seen
much of her.

- Maybe she'd come if I called.
- Yes!

Mrs. Stephens.

- Mrs. Stephens?
- An odd name for a cat.

Tabitha named her. After
her grandmother.

Mrs. Stephens?

Mrs. Stephens, where are you?

- Hi.
- I don't know what to mention first.

Your new hair, or the
remote control on the door.

I approve of both.

You're not
so bad yourself.

Well, thank you. I came
here to pick up Phyllis.

- Phyllis?
- Yes. My wife. Your mother-in-law.

- Oh, you're her husband.
- She asked me to pick her up at 5:00.

Tell me,
w-would you miss her...

if she sort of, got lost?

Samantha, what are
you talking about?

I'm Serena,
Samantha's cousin.

And I'm afraid that I like
to horse around sometimes.

Like now.

She's obviously
not gonna cooperate.

Cats can be
difficult at times.

Cats and cousins.

Oh-oh, excuse
me. That's the back door.

Yes. Certainly.

Mrs. Stephens stays a cat. The
rest of you are pups-- Like that.

Dear, this has been a day.

This morning, I was seeing
things. Now I'm hearing things.

I wonder when
the dizzy spells start.

Let barks be gone
and don't come back.

Instead of cats
we'll have no lack.

I could
have sworn I heard barking.

- It must have been outside.
- It sounded so close.

Oh, I see you found Mrs.
Stephens.

- Yes. Thank you for taking her in.
- Oh, my pleasure.

- She can keep her little bell.
- Oh, thank you again.

It's to warn the birds.

Miss Parsons, you seem rather
nervous. Are you all right?

Yes, dear.
I-I think so.

But I don't ever remember
having a more bewildering day.

Oh, well, they happen
to all of us.

Try not to think
about it.

Oh! Mr. Stephens, I
didn't expect--

Well, what
a pleasant surprise.

- I came by to pick up Phyllis.
- Oh? Well, she--

She stopped to admire
the garden next door.

Ooh!

Oh, uh, n-nothing personal.
But I'm allergic to you.

Then you will get rid of her--
won't you, Serena?

Reluctantly, coz,
reluctantly.

I do hate to undo
such a good deed.

My, that sherry was
strong.

Oh, is it 5:00 already?

Why, it's about half past.

My, this afternoon
has gone by quickly.

Oh dear, I'd forgotten
about that.

Frank, will you come ad
look at this?

Did you ever see
such an unusual hourglass?

No, I never have.
It's enormous.

Is anybody else warm?

Phyllis, what is that
around your neck?

My bell,
to warn the birds.

- Your bell to warn the birds?
- Did I say that?

It looks just like
the one the cat had on.

- What cat?
- The one who was here,

when you stopped to admire
the garden next door.

Garden next door?

Would you like some
of Uncle Arthur's sherry?

Yes.
Yes, I think I would.

- I-I'll pour it for you.
- Thank you.

My, it's nice to know there's a
toss pot on Darrin's side of the family.

Evens things out so nicely.