All language subtitles for Bewitched.S05E18.Samantha.the.Bard.Imprint.1080p.BluRay.FLAC2.0.H.264-BTN_track5_[eng]

Sweetheart, do you know
where my slippers are?

Right there, my sweet.
By your feet.

That's cute. "Right
there, my sweet. By your feet."

That's what I said.
Just popped into my head.

Hey. You did it again.

Well, skiddy-skat,
imagine that.

You're very poetic
this morning.

Darrin,

I hate to burst your bubble,

but I think I'm in trouble.

You're in trouble?
Whenever I speak, every time,

my words come out
in rhyme.

Sweetheart, are you sick?
No. I... I feel okay,

but my speech is astray.

Well, a-are you telling me you're talking
in rhyme because you can't help it?

That's right.
You're bright.

Has this ever happened
to you before?

Never in my life. On my
word of honor as your wife.

Can't you say anything
that doesn't rhyme?

I can try,
you handsome guy.

I'll bet your Uncle Arthur
put a spell on you.

It's typical of his warped
sense of humor. No.

No, he's not the one.
He'd pop in to watch the fun.

What about your mother?

Darrin, blood is
thicker than water.

She wouldn't do this
to her daughter.

Well, don't worry,
sweetheart.

We'll find out
what caused it.

In the meantime
just stay calm.

There must be
a logical answer,

or my name is not
"Samanswer."

Tabitha, eat your eggs.
They're good for your legs.

Tabitha.

Are you still talking in
rhyme? You bet I am.

Would you like some jam? Uh,
no. I'll just have some coffee.

I'll pour it myself.

Frankly, sweetheart, all of this is
beginning to get a little bit on my nerves.

It's also getting on mine.

But I'm, I'm sure that
soon I'll be fine.

Have you been able to
get a hold of Dr. Bombay?

Whenever you're in poor condition, you
can never reach your family physician.

Why don't you give him
another try?

Calling Dr. Bombay.
Calling Dr. Bombay.

Emergency.
Come right away.

Daddy, is Mommy sick?
Oh, no, dear. Mommy's fine.

She's just talking funny.
That's all.

Maybe Endora knows
where he is.

Or maybe she knows
what's wrong.

Uh, Mother dear.

Please heed my call. Your
daughter's back is to the wall.

Sam, that's terrible.

Fiddledeedee.
It's no fun for me.

Good morning, Samantha.

Dear little Tabitha.

What do you mean
your back is to the wall?

I'm having trouble with my words,
and it's strictly for the birds.

She got up this morning talking
in rhyme, and she can't stop it.

She can't?
How peculiar.

I summoned Dr. Bombay.
He didn't obey.

Dr. Bombay is on vacation.

Oh, Fiddledeedee.
No doctor for me.

He's mountain climbing
in Switzerland.

He's on an alp
when I need "halp."

[Endora] Oh, Samantha.

Rhymes, yes,
but puns, no.

I'll find Dr. Bombay,

and I'll have him give me
a potion for you.

Oh, Mother. Your consideration
will be my salvation.

Mmm. There.

Oh, great galaxies.
Good-bye, darling.

I'll be back
as soon as I can.

See you later, mater.
Oh.

Well, I, uh, guess I'd
better get to the office.

I suggest
that you stay home.

Don't answer the doorbell
or the telephone,

unless the phone rings once,
stops, then rings again.

As a code to let me know
how you're doing. Okay?

One ring. That's all.
Then I answer your call.

Mm-hmm. So long,
little sweetheart.

So long,
big sweetheart.

Keep cool.

It's hard to keep cool
when you talk like a fool.

Frankly, Larry. I find your making social
engagements for Samantha and myself,

without consulting me
in bad character.

That's not bad character.
It's my character.

Darrin, this dinner
is not social.

It's a sugarcoated
business appointment.

A little food, a little booze
and a lot of business.

But why Samantha?

Mr. Durf ee carefully pointed out that Mrs.
Durf ee wants to meet the wife of the man

who's personally
handling the account.

I don't like the idea of
Samantha being auditioned.

Why not? Sam makes
a great impression.

I prefer doing business
in a business environment.

And I prefer doing business
the way the client prefers it.

Darrin, call Sam and tell
her to line up a babysitter.

Hi there, sweetheart. I'm feeling fine.
I was cutting some roses from the vine.

Sweetheart, we're very close to, uh,
landing the Durf ee Dog Food account.

In fact, Mr. and Mrs. Durf ee have invited
us and Larry out to dinner tomorrow night.

Look. The door's open.

Gladys, that's snooping.
It is not.

Good-bye, sweetheart. I think I
"oughter" put the flowers in some water.

Mrs. Stephens, come back!

There. Are you satisfied? She's calling
the police to report you for illegal entry.

Our only choice
is to apologize.

Mrs. Stephens,
I know you're angry,

but please give me a chance to tell you
how sorry I am for my wife's stupidity.

Mrs. Kravitz is a frustrated
international spy.

An open door to her is like a
bag of peanuts to an elephant.

I understand the psychology,
and I accept your apology.

[Abner] Thank you.

Uh, we came to ask you
to sign this petition.

It's to install a traffic
light on our mutual corner.

A traffic light is right, I'm sure. An ounce
of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

You're talking in rhyme.

Uh, what is it? Some
new kind of a parlor game?

Yes. It's a parlor game,
and it's the most.

It's all the rage
from coast-to-coast.

I never heard of it. Neither
did I, but I'll give it a try.

Oh. That rhymes.

I did it.

For a beginner,
you're a winner.

Come on, Gladys.
Play the game. Or else...

Or else... Or else of
you I'll be ashamed.

[Gladys] Oh, Abner, stop it.

Uh, Mrs. Stephens,
may I have my petition?

Uh, Mrs. Kravitz, I sincerely
hope I didn't offend you,

and for your good citizenship
I commend you.

Abner, come.

She wouldn't try it
even once,

because when it comes
to thinking fast,

on her feet, she is a dunce. Oh!

Don't shove, my love.

Hi.

Hi, Daddy.
Hi, Tabitha.

Hi, Daddy.
Hi, sweetheart.

Oh, I had a close call
with Mrs. Kravitz.

She came uninvited,
one of her favorite habits.

Samantha, I'm sorry it took so long,
but Dr. Bombay wasn't in Switzerland.

He was mountain climbing
in Tibet.

I told him you have
a Venetian verbal virus,

and he said this would
knock it right out.

Hello. Uh, yes, Larry.

Change of plan. The Durfees
are leaving town tomorrow,

so our dinner party's
for tonight.

Tonight? I, I can make it,
but I'm not sure Sam can.

Uh, she has, uh,
a little virus.

I know I didn't mention it
to you at the office, but--

Darrin, don't make waves.
I don't need to remind you

that Durf ee's Dog Food is
a two million-dollar account.

Give Sam a couple of aspirin.
I'll pick you up at 7:30.

Change of plans. Our dinner
with the client is tonight.

Well, Samantha can't
go out tonight. She's ill.

I'm hoping... Boy, am I hoping,
she'll have a speedy recovery.

Well, Dr. Bombay assured me that
this potion works instantly.

Over the lips and past the gums,
look out tummy, here it comes.

Did it do the trick,
or am I still sick?

Oh, no.
Sam, what are we gonna do?

Oh, I know what I'll do. I'll return to
Dr. Bombay and accuse him of malpractice.

She went back
to call him a quack.

Sam, before dinner, if you
don't get rid of this thing,

everyone will think
you're a ding-a-ling.

Fiddledeedee.
You sound like me.

Mommy, Daddy,
is something wrong?

Yes, dear. Something is wrong.
Would you tell me what it is?

You tell her. As one
W-I-T-C-H to another.

There once was
a mommy named Sam,

whose speech
got her into a jam.

Though she tried not to
show it, she talked like a poet.

If you think
I'm unhappy, I am.

That's funny, Mommy.

Sweetheart, I hope you're not
getting all dressed up for nothing.

In case I'm cured by a last-minute miracle,
I have to be ready, don't I, "dearacle"?

Sam, it's getting worse.
When Larry shows up,

I'm gonna tell him you're
in bed with a raging fever.

Honey, don't overdo. Just tell
him I've come down with a flu.

Sam, it's 7:25.
He's picking us up at 7:30.

Well, where's the patient?

I want to get back to Mount
Everest before sunrise.

Samantha.

Dr. Bombay is here.

Good old Mother.
She's like no other.

Let's go below
and start the show.

You know, Endora, there are very
few witches I would do this for.

Yes. I know, Dr. Bombay,
and we're deeply grateful. Hmm.

Oh, uh, Dr. Bombay.

Oh! Good evening, Doc.
What a pleasant shock.

Good evening, Samantha.
Evening, Darby. Durwood.

Just get on with it.

Yes. Well, when Endora told me
my potion had failed to work,

I graciously volunteered
to come and examine you.

Well, can you do it in a hurry?
In five minutes we have to scurry.

Is that your only symptom?
Talking in rhyme?

Uh, yes. Plus emotional
distress. Mm-hmm.

Let me, uh...

Let me examine your
elbow. Her elbow?

Because
it's centrally located.

You see, the elbow's
connected to the arm bone,

and the arm bone's connected
to the shoulder bone,

and the shoulder bone's
connected to the-- Forget it.

Hmm. Mm-hmm.
Highly irregular.

She does not have
Venetian verbal virus.

She doesn't have
verbal virus at all.

That's what happens when
a layman makes a diagnosis.

What does she have?
I'll tell you,

after I take a look at her with
my Amber corpuscular evaluator.

Which no home
should be without.

Look. Spots.

Mm-hmm. Just as I suspected.
Secondary vocabulary it is.

[Endora] What causes it?

We don't know, but there's
a lot of it going about.

Same family as verbal virus, but
the cure is completely different.

I'm going to give you
a sound wave injection.

Sorry.

Thanks.

Now say something, Samantha.

Speak.
Well, what should I say?

Will my next sentence rhyme?

It didn't!

It worked!
Darrin, I'm cured.

So I hear. Oh, Dr. Bombay.
How can I ever thank you?

Simply stay healthy
until I finish my vacation.

And now I bid you all
good night.

There goes a great doctor.

And a great warlock.

I always say show me an executive
with an intelligent wife,

and I'll show you
an executive you can trust.

I agree.
Two hundred percent.

And your wife is not only intelligent,
she's also charming and attractive.

That's very gracious
of you, Mr. Durf ee.

Well, now that we're through with the
compliments, what do we want to eat?

How about five orders
of Durf ee Dog Food?

Mrs. Stephens, you said that
in a spirit of humor.

But there's more fact to it
than fiction.

Durf ee's Dog Food uses
only the finest ingredients.

Lean, red hunks of pure beef,

fortified and enriched with--

That reminds me. When do you boys plan to
tell me about the new advertising campaign?

Oscar, please, don't
talk shop. This is a party.

She doesn't want to mix
business with pleasure.

Mr. Durf ee,
your wife's a treasure.

Oh, that's cute.

I might as well warn you. I'm
going to be hard to convince

that there's something
more effective than...

"Serve Durf ee's Dog Food
to Rex and Rover,

"and their eating troubles
will be over."

Please, let's change
the subject.

Where did you get that dress?

It was designed by Francois
Vale. I bought it on sale.

Sam, uh, what's with
the rhyming?

Who, me?
Boop, doop, dee-dee.

"Boop, doop, dee-dee"?

Say, who beside
me is hungry? I am.

Me too.
Fiddeledeedoo.

Sam, will you stop that.

Me no can do. Wowdy-woo.

Let's order.

Sam, I know you're trying to
charm them, but don't press.

Mrs. Stephens, you've hardly
spoken during six courses.

And when she did,
it was always in rhyme.

Cute, huh? A little
game we play all the time.

But enough is enough.
Okay, Sam?

I said, "Okay, Sam?"

Dear, don't you feel well?

I feel groovy.

Anyone seen a good movie?

There she goes again.

Mrs. Stephens, will you please
do me a favor and stop this?

Yes, Mr. Durf ee.
Purfee-wurfee.

Sweetheart, uh, isn't this a good
time to check the babysitter?

I'll be back in a jiffy.
Dinner was spiffy.

I'm revising my opinion.

About what?
I'd rather not say.

Mother, the rhymes
are flowing like a fountain.

Tell me the name
of Bombay's mountain.

Mount Everest. He's probably
at the top by now.

The top of Mount Everest.

It's now or "neverest."

Eureka!

Samantha, you just made a mockery
of my entire accomplishment.

You're a naughty witch.

Well, I, I'm sorry, Dr. Bombay,
but I don't feel so hot.

I think I need a
booster shot. You do?

I hate to be terse,
but it's getting worse.

Oh, yes.
Definitely a relapse. Hmm.

I must have miscalculated.

It's not secondary
vocabulary it is.

It's primary
vocabulary it is.

I'll increase the dosage.

Oh. Sorry.

Now, say something.

How now brown horse?

Oh! Dr. Bombay, it worked!

Uh, forgive me
for bothering you.

Ah. I'm back.

And I won't rhyme that
with anything.

That's good, honey. Never
push a good thing too far.

Hope
I didn't miss anything.

Not a thing. We've been
talking about Durf ee's Dog Food.

I meant, um, we just started.

I was just saying,

a slogan that's been
with the company,

for three generations
isn't easily discarded.

Mr. Durf ee, uh,

don't you really think that
jingles are, uh, outmoded?

Maybe yes.
Maybe no.

I agree with you. That's
a very perceptive answer.

I think jingles
have become outmoded.

I, I just proved it to you by talking
in rhyme until you all got irritated.

Larry, weren't you irritated?

No. Not exactly.

I was.

So was I.

Well, come to think of it,

uh, you know,
I was kind of irritated, too.

It was awful, and I
said it to demonstrate

that how after a while jingles
can get on people's nerves.

Mr. Durf ee, if you'll listen to my new
campaign with an open mind, I'm sure--

I'll listen.

I may lose an old friend,
but I'll listen.

Tate, let's drop off the ladies
and go down to your office.

I assume you have
some artwork to show me.

Yes, sir. We do.

Oh, please, allow me.

Oh, no. No. You're my guests.
No, no, no. I insist.

Very well, Tate.
If you insist.

Thank you.

Just Larry's luck.
With the check he got stuck.

Sam! Don't worry,
sweetheart. I'm just kidding.

There you go. Good
morning, beautiful girls.

Good morning, Daddy.
How'd you sleep?

Magnificently,
as befits a man

whose advertising campaign
was approved by the client.

I can hardly wait
to see it on television.

Hello, Tabitha.
Hello, Grandmama.

Hello, Samantha.

Hello, Darius.

The pleasure of seeing you
is rather vicarious.

Sam, she rhymed.

Mother, say something else.

Why, that's absurd. I'll
not rhyme a single word.

Uh-oh. She has it.

Yeah. She does.

My beloved mother-in-law has
secondary vocabulary it is.

Primary.

This is absolutely outrageous.

You must have been contagious.

You probably caught it
last night.

I'll check with an amber
corpuscular evaluator.

Oh. Do I have spots
like polka dots?

Yes. Yes, I'm afraid you do.
Oh.

Look, Mother. You sit down
and, and have some coffee.

And, uh, I'll get Dr. Bombay as
soon as breakfast is finished.

While he's here, I'll have him
vaccinate Tabitha just in case.

How about Daddy?

Well, Daddy's safe.

Mortals don't get
primary vocabulary it is.

Let's hear it
for mortals!

Darrin.

Durwood, I do not like
the way you gloat,

so I'm turning you into
a billy-goat.

Mother!

How could you?
Like this, my darling miss.

Well, you just
turn him back.

I will. I will.

But when I'm cured,
and not until.

Oh, now, sweetheart.

Don't you worry. Just as soon
as I can, I'll get Dr. Bombay,

and everything will be
back to normal.

I want to ride the billy-goat.

Tabitha, this is your father.

Funny Daddy.