All language subtitles for Bewitched.S05E13.Instant.Courtesy.Imprint.1080p.BluRay.FLAC2.0.H.264-BTN_track5_[eng]

Honey, I'd like some
more coffee. Sam?

Cute, huh? Just Mother's
weird sense of humor.

Good morning,
slave.

Endora, you're a one-woman
invasion of privacy.

My daughter works
like a slave.

I thought she might
at least dress the part.

Mother, you've had your
little joke, bad as it was,

so, uh, do you mind?

- Thank you.
- She never even knocks.

All of a sudden,
she's here like the flu.

Watch it, Dumbo.

M-Mother, dear,

I know it seems perfectly natural
for you to arrive like this,

but I-I think, in the future,
we deserve a little warning.

Like a hurricane
or any other natural disaster.

Show us a little courtesy
and consideration.

Courtesy? Durwood, you could make
a fortune giving rudeness lessons.

Mother.

I try to be polite, but it isn't
easy with you around here.

But fortunately, I'm late
for work. Excuse me.

Mother, you bring out a side
of Darrin that no one ever sees.

He's really very courteous
and considerate,

even chivalrous and gallant.

[Darrin] Honey, I'm leaving.

Excuse me.

Courteous, chivalrous,
gallant, is he?

Well, if he isn't now,
he soon will be.

With a root of hemlock
and a sting of bee,

I shall give him
instant courtesy.

- Hi, Darrin.
- Mm-hmm.

Leaf of Laurel,
pinch of salt,

be considerate
to a fault.

Root of hemlock,
stinger of bee,

give him
super courtesy--

Politeness, manners,

gallantry.

Good morning, Frank! How
are you feeling this morning?

- Good morning, Darrin. I'm fine.
- That's great. You look fine!

Oh!

- Let me help you, Betty.
- Oh, it's all right.

Really.

No, no. I'll do that
too.

- There you go.
- You wanted the Adrienne Sebastian file this morning.

Oh, that's too heavy for
you, Betty. Let me take it.

While I'm at it, let me get
your typewriter out for you.

Thanks.

Let me compliment you on
the way you're doing your hair.

Why, thank you.

And that dress--
just perfect on you.

Mr. Stephens, I think there's
something you should know.

I'm engaged...
to be married.

Wonderful!
Who's the lucky fellow?

I hope I'm not interrupting
anything important.

Not at all, Larry.
Excuse us, Betty.

Please?

- After you.
- No, no, no. Go ahead.

Please.

- You're very gallant.
- Well--

Have you and Miss Wilson
been, uh, lunching?

- No.
- I mean, before she got engaged.

Of course not.

Ah, it's those cool cats
who fool you.

We have Adrienne Sebastian and her
advertising manager coming in at 11:00.

And they don't go visiting
unless it means business.

Big business.

I have two ways
of approaching the account.

Well, let's make
a good first impression.

Look for yourself.

- Here's the poetry.
- Mm-hmm.

First I tried a rock-'em-sock-'em
hard sell. It didn't seem to work.

- They'll love it.
- Then I tried something a lot more subtle, and I--

No, no, no, no. Stay with
the hard sell. It's their bag.

Well, then there it is.

- Larry.
- Hmm?

Have a chair.

Ah, you might want
to make some notes.

Comfortable?

What is going on
around here?

Larry, I don't understand why you're
so suspicious. What's bugging you?

- What's bugging me is what's bugging you.
- There's nothing bugging me.

You're even laughing
off-key.

- Darrin, I've got radar.
- I get a ping when something's wrong.

You may need a new tube
in your pinger.

This is a good pitch,
Darrin.

I think I'll go to the privacy
of my office and study it.

- Nothing you want to tell me?
- No.

You don't want
to talk about it.

But in case you do,
I'm always here.

Yes?

Mrs. Sebastian
and Mr. Traynor are here.

Yes, send them right in, and, uh,
Miss Springer, tell Mr. Stephens.

Oh, Mrs. Sebastian,
this is a great honor.

- How do you do, Mr. Tate?
- Mr. Traynor, it's a pleasure to see you again.

- How are you?
- I've been looking forward to this meeting.

You know, after all, Adrienne Sebastian
is practically a household word.

It's one of the truly great
cosmetic firms.

May I
join the festivities?

Oh, come in, Darrin.

Mrs. Sebastian, Mr. Traynor, may I
present my associate Darrin Stephens.

Mrs. Sebastian,
your own beauty...

is the best advertisement
for your product.

You're hired.

And, Mr. Traynor, great
pleasure meeting you, sir.

All right. Let's move
this along, shall we?

Well, fine. Darrin?

Uh, let me seat
Mrs. Sebastian first.

- Thank you.
- I think you'll find that comfortable.

The light won't be
in your eyes.

You're very thoughtful,
Mr. Stephens.

Oh!

- Cigar?
- Just pitch the idea. We're pressed for time.

Ah, rush, rush, rush. That's why
we have an ulcer-ridden society.

Darrin, you're about
to give me one.

I think Mr. Stephens has a
very refreshing point of view.

Oh, so do I!

I just don't want to
inconvenience you with a delay.

Darrin?

We have two presentations.

One, the old hard sell.

The other emphasizes
the grace,

the charm,
the feminine mystique...

that I always associate with
the name Adrienne Sebastian.

Well, now.

You're selling, uh,
a very intangible thing--

Beauty--

And our research tells us that people
of today are really turned on...

by beautiful things.

So, what's beauty?

A flower,
a Renoir painting,

a-- a Chopin nocturne,

a sunrise
with the surf coming up.

A sales chart
with the line going up.

For heaven's sakes,
Darrin,

this is a business conference,
not a philosophy seminar.

- I rather like it.
- So do I.

I want a campaign that says
you've got two choices--

Use Adrienne Sebastian
products, or be ugly.

Oh, Charlie,
that is pretty crass.

Yes.

Perhaps that is,
shall we say, "blunt"?

It sells. And I make
the decisions.

- Right, Adrienne?
- Oh, yes.

When I think of it,
perhaps, uh,

sometimes the hard sell
does hit the target.

So far we've had nothing
but interruptions and detours.

- I think you're trying to cover up a lousy campaign.
- Not at all.

Here,
I-look at these.

I think you'd better call the office and
tell them we're going to be a little late.

- Yeah.
- I'll dial it for you while you look at the presentation.

I'd rather do it myself.
It'd be my pleasure.

Darrin, put down that phone!

Sorry. My apologies,
Mr. Traynor.

Darrin, could I speak to you for a
moment while they go over the ideas?

Certainly, Larry.
Oh, excuse us.

[Adrienne] Of course.

- After you.
- Go ahead!

No, please.

- Just what are you trying to do?
- Is something wrong?

- You're perspiring.
- Stop that!

If you're not blowing your mind,
you're sure blowing this meeting.

Larry, they're our guests. I'm
just trying to be considerate.

You're overdoing it. Will you
just pitch that presentation?

I think she digs
the soft sell.

But he makes the decisions.
But it's her company.

I'll get the other
presentation.

Oh, darn.

Here, I'll do that
for you, Miss Springer.

I can do it.
It's just that it's so--

I know.
It's a messy man's job.

I'm not knocked out by this, but it
is hard sell, and that's what we want.

I'm not sure, Charlie.

I think we-- we should look at
Mr. Stephens's second concept.

Well, maybe he can come up with
a tough hard sell with warmth.

He has 10 seconds.

It bothers me, seeing a pretty girl
like you getting her fingers dirty.

That's very sweet
of you.

There's still a lot of chivalry
left in the world today.

- Thank you, Mr. Stephens.
- Darrin!

I've got it
right here, Larry.

Tate, I've got a gut feeling that you
and, uh, Sir Walter Raleigh here...

haven't got anything
to interest us.

Really, Charlie, Mr. Stephens
was only showing common courtesy.

Courtesy is a refuge
of scoundrels and yes-men.

I've got a feeling he's both.
Adrienne, we're running late.

I think you're making a mistake,
but it was a pleasure meeting you...

both!

Now, that's
a darn shame.

Losing several million
in billing?

Yeah. I guess you could
call it that-- "a darn shame."

Unless you want to call it
"a catastrophe."

Larry, you're perspiring
again. Here, let me--

Will you knock off
this do-gooder routine?

Flitting around the office
like the good fairy!

Did it ever occur to you that people
want to dial their own phones,

even if it's just to give
their fingers a little exercise?

Larry, I was merely
treating our guests...

as courteously and as
politely as I know how.

And I've had all I can
take of this courtesy bunk!

- Darrin, you've been working too hard.
- You too, Lar.

I want you to take a
vacation, get a little rest.

Larry, that's very considerate,
but I don't-- No, no, no. I insist.

Go away somewhere. See
the Caribbean. See the islands.

- See a doctor.
- A doctor?

- To help straighten out your thinking, unkink you.
- Wait a minute, Larry.

It happens in the advertising business,
and, believe me, I understand.

I know the pressures, the
tensions, the frustrations,

and then poof!

So take a year, two years,
three, if you need it!

Larry, that's the most
generous thing I've ever heard.

Darrin, I didn't mean
a vacation with pay.

When your batteries are recharged, and
you're back in your old form again,

come and see me,
and we'll talk things over.

Hi, sweetheart.

Hi, darling.

What are you doing home
so early?

I'm trying to figure
that out myself.

Oh, hey!

Those are too heavy for you.
Let me do that.

Oh, thanks, sweetheart.

Oh. How'd the meeting
go? Right out the window.

I never realized all the work you do
around here while I'm at the office.

Wait. Wait a minute. What do you
mean, "right out the window"?

Honey, I wouldn't
worry you for the world, but--

- Would you sit down for a second?
- Uh-oh.

- Would you like something?
- Hmm?

A cup of coffee.
A cold drink.

Yes, I'd like something--

To know what's going on.

Uh--

I know it's not polite
to be this blunt, but,

well, do you think I'm
having a nervous breakdown?

Exactly what went wrong
today, precisely?

Frankly, Larry was acting
a little odd today.

He seemed to have
this phobia...

about simple, ordinary,
everyday courtesy.

Now, what's wrong
with the world today?

Nobody seems to appreciate
the niceties, the gallantry.

Courtesies.

Don't you worry, sweetheart.
I'm sure Larry's over it by now.

Now, uh, you just relax.

I have some things to do
in the kitchen.

May I help you?

No, pl-please don't,
as a favor to me.

Well, since you
put it that way.

Thank you.

Mother. Mother,
you come here this minute.

"Tell your
chivalrous husband...

that his courteous mother-in-law
is regrettably unavailable."

Oh, Mother,
you are exasperating.

"Guess who made me that way."

Oh!

Larry, I think you're acting like
a fool. Darrin is your friend.

Not anymore.
I fired him.

Oh, you are
really beautiful.

Louise, he was acting
very strangely.

By your standards, anyone who offers you a
light or insists you go out the door first...

is having
a nervous breakdown.

Right.

Mrs. Sebastian!
How nice to see you again.

Thank you.
May I come in?

Please do. This is a
very pleasant surprise.

I can only stay a moment,
but I did want to talk to you,

even though I shouldn't
go over Mr. Traynor's head.

You see, I was very impressed
with you, Mr. Stephens.

Our advertising needs
a fresh, new look.

We, uh-- We also need
a new advertising agency.

How does this sound?

The Darrin Stephens
Agency.

You can start with my
account, and if I do say so,

that's
a very good start.

- Well, you're very flattering.
- It's just good business for me.

I don't want to press you
for a decision.

I have a package to pick up, and
I can stop by on my way home.

Maybe we'll have
something to celebrate.

May I walk you
to your car?

Well, here goes.

The good witch
against the bad witch.

Larry Tate, play it wise.
Admit you're wrong, apologize.

I merely got rid
of a disloyal employee.

And one of the most creative men I
know, who is also a trusted friend.

Why did I say that?

- I'll phone him.
- Not by phone, Larry Tate.

Come yourself.
Don't hesitate.

I think I'd better
go right over and see him.

Mother,
where have you been?

Samantha, surely you
haven't forgotten...

that it does take a few minutes
to get here from Bangkok,

especially during
the monsoon season.

You put a courtesy spell
on Darrin, didn't you?

- Who?
- Darrin, my husband?

Oh! Oh, yes. Him.

Oh, I'm sorry, darling,

but he's one of the most
forgettable people I know.

Well, never mind that.
Just take it off him.

All right. All right.

The whole thing's
getting boring anyway.

Disappear, courtesy.
That's a counter spell?

Well, what do you expect
on such short notice? Poetry?

Ta-ta, dear.

Mother,
you're a naughty witch.

Hello, Samantha.
Darrin.

- Surprised to see me?
- Not really.

Come in.

Well, I've been doing
a lot of soul-searching,

and I realize
how wrong I was.

That's very considerate.

- Isn't it, sweetheart?
- For Larry, yes.

Darrin, I said a lot of things
I shouldn't have. I was upset.

You were a little weird.

In any case,

Darrin, old friend,
forgive me.

I apologize.

In case you weren't listening,
Larry just apologized.

- I heard him.
- Darrin!

I'm just wondering
how sincere the apology is.

Darrin,
I'm surprised at you.

He found out that Adrienne Sebastian
offered me the account personally.

- How can you think such a thing?
- I learned from the maestro.

Wait a minute. You-You mean
she offered you the account?

Hey,
what an opportunity...

for both of us!

Marvelous!
Congratulations, Darrin.

- You mean, you didn't know anything about this?
- Of course not.

My word of honor.

My real word
of honor!

Well, Larry, forgive me.
I'm sorry.

I'm sorry too.

We have more arrivals and departures
than Kennedy International.

Oh, Mrs. Sebastian.

- I-I'm Samantha Stephens.
- Won't you come in? Thank you. I--

Why, Mr. Tate, I didn't
expect to see you here.

I realized I'd fired the most
talented man on my staff,

and I came over
to beg his forgiveness.

Rubbish.

You men are all alike.

I don't believe
you really fired him.

I think it was just a clever
gimmick to get my account.

Mrs. Sebastian, that--
that doesn't make any sense.

I don't have to make sense.

Maybe I'm just a silly female,
but I trust my intuition,

and something is wrong here.

I'm canceling my offer.

Well, that's
your prerogative.

However, here's the alternate
concept. It's yours, no strings.

What Darrin has in
mind is that-- Never mind.

Thank you, no.
I am not interested.

I think I-- I think I'd
be foolish to refuse.

Why did I say that?

Well, it's a woman's
prerogative to change her mind.

Stephens and Tate
ride again!

Yeah, Tate and Stephens
ride again!

Let's say we
open up a bottle of the old bubbly.

I'll drink to that.

It's funny the way things
have of working themselves out.

Funny?
Yeah, it's hilarious.

Oh, boy.

Well, that's the end
of the bottle, Darrin.

But there'll never be an
end to our friendship. Never.

Accounts may come
and accounts may go,

but true friendship
goes on forever.

I think I have the cello part
for this somewhere.

Ho-ho.
Ha-ha.

Hello.

Oh, uh, Mrs. Sebastian.

Well, uh,
thank you very much.

We would be delighted. 10:00
tomorrow morning at your office.

Thank you.

How about that?
She loved the second concept.

She thought the ideas were inventive
and fresh, and we've got the account!

- I knew she'd like it.
- Larry, you never even saw it.

Don't quibble
about the details.

I'm going home and celebrate
all over again with--

- Louise.
- Louise.

Be in my office
at 9:00, hmm?

And fill me in
on what that's all about.

Good night, Samuel.

Ah!
Well, what do you know?

- And we owe it all to Mother.
- And we owe it all to--

Oh, what? Oh, no!

Oh, yes.

- You see, sweetheart, she said--
- I don't wanna hear about it.

- Well, Darrin--
- Don't tell me.

You won't mind
if I tell her?

What do you mean?

When she hears that she
actually helped you,

she won't sleep
for a week.

I'll build it up
a little.

She won't sleep
for a month.