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1
00:00:12,137 --> 00:00:13,180
Enjoy your dinner?
2
00:00:13,222 --> 00:00:15,224
Marvelous.
3
00:00:15,265 --> 00:00:16,390
Car check, please, sir.
4
00:00:16,433 --> 00:00:17,935
Mmm. Yeah, right here.
5
00:00:19,102 --> 00:00:20,729
- Oh.
- Thank you.
6
00:00:20,771 --> 00:00:22,064
Phooey.
7
00:00:22,105 --> 00:00:23,106
What's the matter?
8
00:00:23,148 --> 00:00:25,025
I left my gloves
on the table.
9
00:00:25,901 --> 00:00:26,902
You're improving.
10
00:00:26,944 --> 00:00:29,655
You usually remember
them halfway home.
11
00:00:29,696 --> 00:00:31,698
- Ha-ha.
- I'll go get them.
12
00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:33,951
I know how I can save you
the trouble.
13
00:00:33,992 --> 00:00:35,452
Like this?
14
00:00:35,494 --> 00:00:36,995
You want me to?
15
00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:42,334
No. I definitely, emphatically
and positively do not.
16
00:00:55,347 --> 00:00:57,849
Uh, what time is the floor show?
17
00:00:58,559 --> 00:00:59,977
There isn't any.
18
00:01:00,018 --> 00:01:02,271
Isn't this the club Bimbo?
19
00:01:02,312 --> 00:01:04,690
No, it's La Petite Maison.
20
00:01:04,690 --> 00:01:07,609
Who stole the club Bimbo?
21
00:01:07,609 --> 00:01:09,903
I'm afraid I don't know.
22
00:01:09,944 --> 00:01:11,446
I get it.
23
00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:13,657
Beautiful but dumb.
24
00:01:14,825 --> 00:01:18,578
In that case, let's go straight
to my apartment.
25
00:01:19,538 --> 00:01:21,456
No, thank you.
26
00:01:21,498 --> 00:01:23,375
Look, lady.
27
00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:26,753
Please. In three days
I gotta be in Cleveland.
28
00:01:28,255 --> 00:01:29,715
Rrr-rah!
29
00:01:31,174 --> 00:01:33,677
Sir, you leave me alone,
30
00:01:33,719 --> 00:01:36,638
or I promise you'll regret it.
31
00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:40,142
My spirit cannot be dampened.
32
00:01:41,685 --> 00:01:43,520
That's what you think.
33
00:02:01,747 --> 00:02:04,166
Uh, what's going on here?
34
00:02:04,207 --> 00:02:05,292
Are you her husband?
35
00:02:05,334 --> 00:02:06,960
Yes, I am.
Who are you?
36
00:02:07,002 --> 00:02:09,004
I'm a reformed drunk.
37
00:02:13,091 --> 00:02:14,425
Sam, what happened?
38
00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:18,180
He tried to pick me up, so I
dampened his spirit.
39
00:02:18,221 --> 00:02:19,973
With real water.
40
00:02:20,014 --> 00:02:21,141
By witchcraft!
41
00:02:21,183 --> 00:02:22,351
Well...
42
00:02:22,351 --> 00:02:23,935
Well, what?
43
00:02:24,770 --> 00:02:27,147
He was in no condition to drive.
44
00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:34,881
I say the use of witchcraft
was completely uncalled for.
45
00:03:34,923 --> 00:03:39,469
And I say it was my duty to the
motoring public.
46
00:03:39,511 --> 00:03:40,971
That's just an excuse.
47
00:03:41,012 --> 00:03:43,640
You took fiendish delight
inputting that guy in his place,
48
00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:44,766
and you know it.
49
00:03:44,808 --> 00:03:47,352
Darrin, I resent that.
50
00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:49,271
I am not a fiend.
51
00:03:49,271 --> 00:03:51,773
I didn't say that. I said
you took fiendish delight.
52
00:03:51,815 --> 00:03:55,235
Well, you can't take fiendish
delight unless you're a fiend.
53
00:03:55,277 --> 00:03:56,945
You can too.
54
00:03:56,987 --> 00:03:57,863
You cannot.
55
00:03:57,904 --> 00:03:59,489
Boy, are you unreasonable!
56
00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:01,158
No. You are.
57
00:04:06,997 --> 00:04:09,124
That's what you're
always saying.
58
00:04:09,166 --> 00:04:11,376
Only as a last alternative.
59
00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:12,836
In our four years
of marriage,
60
00:04:12,878 --> 00:04:17,674
I have been through
2856 last alternatives.
61
00:04:17,716 --> 00:04:20,427
I never knew you kept score.
62
00:04:20,469 --> 00:04:21,762
I don't.
63
00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:24,765
I meant that
as a wild exaggeration.
64
00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:33,482
Samantha.
65
00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:35,233
Yes, dear.
66
00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:37,068
It's my considered opinion
67
00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:40,029
that you use witchcraft
at the drop of a hat.
68
00:04:40,029 --> 00:04:41,113
And furthermore,
69
00:04:41,156 --> 00:04:42,157
that you love it.
70
00:04:42,199 --> 00:04:43,992
Darrin, that's not your
considered opinion.
71
00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:46,161
You're only saying that
because you're angry.
72
00:04:46,202 --> 00:04:47,287
I'm not angry.
73
00:04:47,329 --> 00:04:50,624
Just that I'm tired
of fighting a losing battle.
74
00:04:50,665 --> 00:04:53,210
So I surrender.
75
00:04:53,251 --> 00:04:54,795
Let's stop being hypocrites.
76
00:04:54,836 --> 00:04:57,714
Let's tell the whole world your
true identity.
77
00:04:59,382 --> 00:05:01,384
A-are you serious?
78
00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:02,969
Why not?
79
00:05:03,011 --> 00:05:05,889
Could my existence
be more hectic?
80
00:05:05,931 --> 00:05:06,807
Yes.
81
00:05:06,848 --> 00:05:09,100
I doubt it very much.
82
00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:13,021
Good night.
83
00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:24,366
Sturbo vectro wrangay zeem
84
00:05:24,407 --> 00:05:26,910
You're about To have a dream
85
00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:32,749
And in the words of a great
philosopher,
86
00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:35,085
it's going to be a beaut.
87
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:39,880
We'll tell the whole world I'm a
witch.
88
00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:41,633
Let's start with Larry Tate.
89
00:05:42,968 --> 00:05:44,177
Come in.
90
00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:48,557
Larry, do you have a minute
to talk to us?
91
00:05:48,598 --> 00:05:51,059
To you, a minute, to Samantha, a
lifetime.
92
00:05:51,101 --> 00:05:52,185
Oh.
93
00:05:52,226 --> 00:05:54,521
What brings you
to our happy little jungle?
94
00:05:54,563 --> 00:05:55,522
I do.
95
00:05:55,564 --> 00:05:57,899
It's all Darrin's idea.
96
00:05:57,899 --> 00:05:59,484
We have something
to tell you.
97
00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:00,694
Let's see if I can guess.
98
00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:03,154
My guess is
he'll never guess.
99
00:06:05,073 --> 00:06:07,742
I, uh, think
we'd better sit down.
100
00:06:08,326 --> 00:06:09,952
Sure.
101
00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:18,253
It isn't your marriage is it?
102
00:06:18,295 --> 00:06:20,130
Yes, it's our marriage.
103
00:06:20,130 --> 00:06:21,255
Well...
104
00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:24,759
my advice is to just
roll with the punches.
105
00:06:24,759 --> 00:06:26,761
Larry, you don't understand.
106
00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:28,013
Don't be greedy, Darrin.
107
00:06:28,053 --> 00:06:29,764
You've had four good years,
108
00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:32,851
and now that they're
over, cherish them.
109
00:06:32,892 --> 00:06:35,520
Aww, that's a lovely
thought, Larry.
110
00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:37,689
May I write it down?
111
00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:41,860
So when you yell and scream at
each other...
112
00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:43,612
do it with kindness.
113
00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:45,779
Larry, that isn't our problem.
114
00:06:45,822 --> 00:06:47,657
Our problem is me.
115
00:06:47,699 --> 00:06:50,160
Samantha... is different.
116
00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:51,411
From whom?
117
00:06:51,452 --> 00:06:53,371
From you and me.
118
00:06:54,164 --> 00:06:55,624
Well, naturally.
119
00:06:55,665 --> 00:07:00,587
I'm a man, and you're a man, and
she's a woman.
120
00:07:00,629 --> 00:07:01,880
No, she isn't.
121
00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:03,214
She isn't a woman?
122
00:07:03,255 --> 00:07:04,549
No.
123
00:07:04,549 --> 00:07:06,343
I see.
124
00:07:06,384 --> 00:07:07,802
Congratulations, sir.
125
00:07:07,844 --> 00:07:11,681
That's an amazing disguise.
126
00:07:11,723 --> 00:07:16,353
Darrin means that I am not a
mortal woman.
127
00:07:18,229 --> 00:07:19,439
I'm a witch.
128
00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:23,735
Okay, kids.
You got your laugh.
129
00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:26,821
Now, run along
and let me go back to work.
130
00:07:26,863 --> 00:07:28,490
Larry, we're not kidding.
131
00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:30,200
My wife is a witch.
132
00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:32,869
Darrin, if you want
a vacation, ask for it.
133
00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:35,497
You don't have to go
through this fruitcake routine.
134
00:07:35,538 --> 00:07:36,915
Larry...
135
00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:41,002
I am a full-fledged,
card-carrying,
136
00:07:41,044 --> 00:07:43,964
cauldron-stirring witch.
137
00:07:45,382 --> 00:07:47,133
All right, witch-wife.
138
00:07:47,175 --> 00:07:49,344
Show me the old black magic.
139
00:07:52,847 --> 00:07:54,307
Where'd she go?
140
00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:02,816
Well, that--Ha-ha.
141
00:08:02,857 --> 00:08:04,442
That, uh... ha-ha,
142
00:08:04,442 --> 00:08:06,486
w-was done with mirrors.
143
00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:08,405
Oh, uh...
144
00:08:08,446 --> 00:08:10,532
How many mirrors?
Two?
145
00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:18,039
You had them up your sleeves.
146
00:08:18,081 --> 00:08:21,418
Well, uh, how about
two big mirrors?
147
00:08:27,632 --> 00:08:29,509
The, uh...
148
00:08:30,719 --> 00:08:33,429
The little ones were expandable.
149
00:08:53,575 --> 00:08:55,201
Are you all right, Larry?
150
00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:58,496
Samantha?
151
00:08:58,538 --> 00:08:59,664
Yes, Larry?
152
00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:01,833
With my brains...
153
00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:03,626
and your voodoo...
154
00:09:03,668 --> 00:09:06,629
we can control the world!
155
00:09:06,629 --> 00:09:10,800
Uh, Larry, let me explain how we
made the adjustment in the past
156
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:13,219
and how we hope to make the
adjustment in the future.
157
00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:14,929
Never mind the petty details.
158
00:09:14,929 --> 00:09:17,932
Sam, with you on my team, at a
generous salary,
159
00:09:17,974 --> 00:09:19,809
I can juggle the stock market
160
00:09:19,851 --> 00:09:22,312
and seize control
of the national economy!
161
00:09:23,646 --> 00:09:26,107
That's true, Larry,
but...
162
00:09:26,149 --> 00:09:29,319
Today the nation,
tomorrow the world!
163
00:09:30,987 --> 00:09:33,030
Larry, take it easy!
164
00:09:33,030 --> 00:09:35,784
I can't!
I'm mad with power!
165
00:09:35,825 --> 00:09:37,702
Well, we're not.
166
00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:39,245
We don't want to use
my witchcraft
167
00:09:39,287 --> 00:09:41,539
- to rule the world.
- That's right.
168
00:09:41,539 --> 00:09:44,083
I'm sure when you've had time
to think it over, you'll dec--
169
00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:45,960
I'll decide I want
to rule the world.
170
00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:49,380
I've wanted to rule the world
ever since I was a little kid.
171
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:50,840
Oh.
172
00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:54,219
We're sorry, Larry.
We really are.
173
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:58,807
But just because you two don't
want anything for yourselves,
174
00:09:58,848 --> 00:10:00,767
let's not forget old Lar.
175
00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:02,559
"Old Lar"?
176
00:10:02,559 --> 00:10:07,524
I should be entitled to a modest
amount of fallout, shall we say?
177
00:10:09,067 --> 00:10:11,236
Just out of loyalty
and friendship.
178
00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:14,614
Larry, we refuse to use
Samantha's power
179
00:10:14,655 --> 00:10:18,284
for material gains for ourselves
or anyone else!
180
00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:20,662
Are you sore because I
want a piece of the action?
181
00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:24,124
There isn't gonna be
any of that kind of action!
182
00:10:25,208 --> 00:10:28,002
All right, forget it.
183
00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:30,296
Forgive me for being pushy.
184
00:10:30,338 --> 00:10:32,966
I thank you
for the information, and...
185
00:10:33,006 --> 00:10:35,009
now I find myself
running late.
186
00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:36,386
So, uh...
187
00:10:37,761 --> 00:10:39,264
Sam.
188
00:10:40,598 --> 00:10:41,724
Darrin.
189
00:10:41,766 --> 00:10:43,726
- Just one more thing.
- Yes, Larry?
190
00:10:43,768 --> 00:10:45,186
You're fired.
191
00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:55,363
Hmm.
192
00:10:55,405 --> 00:10:58,867
Larry wasn't a very good
sport about that, was he?
193
00:10:58,908 --> 00:11:02,203
Maybe it was just a fluke.
194
00:11:02,245 --> 00:11:05,582
Let's see what happens when we
tell the Kravitzes.
195
00:11:12,255 --> 00:11:14,090
Oh, please. Come in.
196
00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:15,758
Go ahead,
honey.
197
00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:24,017
Um, is your wife home?
198
00:11:24,058 --> 00:11:25,518
[Gladys] Abner?
199
00:11:25,559 --> 00:11:27,770
Oh, hi, there.
200
00:11:27,812 --> 00:11:30,231
- Hi.
- Hi.
201
00:11:30,273 --> 00:11:33,234
What an unexpected surprise.
202
00:11:33,276 --> 00:11:35,862
We came to bring you a bit
of neighborhood gossip.
203
00:11:35,904 --> 00:11:37,071
We did not.
204
00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:38,907
We came to clear the air.
205
00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:40,200
About what?
206
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,035
About who I am.
207
00:11:42,076 --> 00:11:43,660
Who are you?
208
00:11:43,660 --> 00:11:45,538
I am a witch.
209
00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:48,208
I don't believe you.
210
00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,461
Honestly!
211
00:11:51,502 --> 00:11:53,296
I don't believe her.
212
00:11:54,505 --> 00:11:57,550
Uh... It's true.
213
00:11:57,592 --> 00:11:58,927
She's a witch.
214
00:11:58,968 --> 00:12:01,095
I knew it!
215
00:12:01,136 --> 00:12:02,472
I thought you
didn't believe it.
216
00:12:02,513 --> 00:12:05,225
I meant I didn't
believe she'd ever admit it.
217
00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:08,269
I believed she was a witch from
the second I met her.
218
00:12:08,269 --> 00:12:11,105
The problem is,
you didn't believe me.
219
00:12:11,147 --> 00:12:12,232
I still don't.
220
00:12:12,273 --> 00:12:13,650
I don't believe all of you.
221
00:12:13,650 --> 00:12:14,609
Where is it?
222
00:12:14,651 --> 00:12:15,610
Where's what?
223
00:12:15,652 --> 00:12:17,111
The candid camera.
224
00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:19,280
I'm being embarrassed on
coast-to-coast television.
225
00:12:19,322 --> 00:12:22,951
Mr. Kravitz, there's no camera.
226
00:12:22,992 --> 00:12:25,495
Um, unless you need one.
227
00:12:26,663 --> 00:12:27,830
There!
228
00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:29,123
Did you see that?
229
00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:31,333
She conjured up a camera.
230
00:12:34,629 --> 00:12:38,591
Now she changed the camera into
a chicken!
231
00:12:43,136 --> 00:12:45,431
Was that really necessary?
232
00:12:45,473 --> 00:12:48,809
Well, you wanted me
to convince him, didn't you?
233
00:12:48,851 --> 00:12:49,936
Just let us live.
234
00:12:49,977 --> 00:12:52,272
We're young,
and we wanna live.
235
00:12:52,313 --> 00:12:55,482
If you must take
one of us, take me.
236
00:12:55,525 --> 00:13:00,071
But, Mr. Kravitz, I'm not a
bad witch, I'm a good witch.
237
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:01,739
Her mother's a bad witch.
238
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,330
Oh, well, um...
239
00:13:09,372 --> 00:13:12,125
It's been nice
chatting with you.
240
00:13:16,045 --> 00:13:17,547
See you soon.
241
00:13:29,225 --> 00:13:31,352
Well, sweetheart...
242
00:13:31,394 --> 00:13:33,021
how do you like it so far?
243
00:13:33,062 --> 00:13:34,564
Um-hmm.
244
00:13:49,828 --> 00:13:51,205
Um-huh.
245
00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:56,377
Keep dreaming, sweetheart.
246
00:13:56,419 --> 00:13:59,756
It's a few weeks later,
we've told all our friends.
247
00:13:59,797 --> 00:14:04,385
Somebody told the newspapers,
and now you have your wish.
248
00:14:04,427 --> 00:14:07,929
The whole world
knows our secret.
249
00:14:07,972 --> 00:14:11,392
The whole world knows
I'm a witch.
250
00:14:11,434 --> 00:14:14,604
The whole world knows
I'm a witch.
251
00:14:14,645 --> 00:14:17,023
[Abner] All right, folks.
Right this way.
252
00:14:17,065 --> 00:14:18,649
Just $1 for a comfortable seat
253
00:14:18,649 --> 00:14:20,860
across from where
the witch lives.
254
00:14:20,902 --> 00:14:22,403
50 cents.
255
00:14:22,445 --> 00:14:25,073
The price of admission
includes a thrilling lecture
256
00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:26,783
by Gladys Kravitz entitled
257
00:14:26,824 --> 00:14:31,454
"The Samantha Stephens
I Have Known and Feared".
258
00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:40,630
Peanuts, popcorn. Peanuts,
popcorn.
259
00:14:40,630 --> 00:14:43,633
Peanuts, popcorn, right here.
260
00:14:43,674 --> 00:14:46,344
Here comes a car.
261
00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:48,513
- That's her husband!
- That's the witch's husband!
262
00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:50,890
- Let's get his autograph!
- Yeah, let's go!
263
00:14:54,435 --> 00:14:56,771
Mr. Samantha,
may I have your autograph?
264
00:14:56,813 --> 00:14:57,980
Me too!
265
00:14:57,980 --> 00:14:59,190
Isn't he handsome?
266
00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:01,067
May I have your tie
for good luck?
267
00:15:01,109 --> 00:15:02,568
I'm sorry, madam,
268
00:15:02,610 --> 00:15:05,363
but if you want to fly to
Florida for your vacation,
269
00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:07,281
you're going to have
to do it by aeroplane.
270
00:15:07,323 --> 00:15:09,826
My broom is booked
for the season.
271
00:15:22,505 --> 00:15:24,132
Hi, there! What's new?
272
00:15:25,883 --> 00:15:27,593
Oh, not much.
273
00:15:27,635 --> 00:15:29,262
I got caught in a stampede--
274
00:15:29,303 --> 00:15:31,764
Excuse me.
275
00:15:31,806 --> 00:15:33,641
Hello?
276
00:15:33,683 --> 00:15:34,976
Speaking.
277
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:38,729
Mickey Mantle?
278
00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:41,524
The Mickey Mantle?
279
00:15:41,566 --> 00:15:44,986
Oh, Mr. Mantle,
I'm surprised at you.
280
00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:46,612
That wouldn't be fair.
281
00:15:46,654 --> 00:15:49,574
If I worked it out
so that you could bat .600,
282
00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:52,577
I'd have to let all the other
players bat .600.
283
00:15:54,537 --> 00:15:57,248
And besides,
I'm a Mets fan.
284
00:15:58,374 --> 00:16:00,209
You're welcome, anyhow.
285
00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:01,836
Goodbye.
286
00:16:03,045 --> 00:16:05,590
Oh, my, this phone hasn't
stopped ringing all day.
287
00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:07,675
We'll have to change our number.
288
00:16:07,717 --> 00:16:10,052
We've already changed it 10
times.
289
00:16:10,094 --> 00:16:12,722
They keep tracking us down.
290
00:16:12,763 --> 00:16:15,183
Well, how'd the job-hunting go
today?
291
00:16:15,224 --> 00:16:16,851
It went rotten. Ev--
292
00:16:20,438 --> 00:16:22,231
All my prospective
employers either thought
293
00:16:22,273 --> 00:16:26,444
I was too controversial or they
wanted to make a package deal.
294
00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:28,779
You mean like Don Drysdale
and Sandy Koufax?
295
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:29,947
Mm-hmm.
296
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:31,949
They'll only hire me
if they can hire you.
297
00:16:31,949 --> 00:16:34,535
So they can raise
their profits by witchcraft.
298
00:16:34,577 --> 00:16:35,912
Oh.
299
00:16:38,372 --> 00:16:40,291
Hi, sweetheart.
300
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:41,959
Daddy needs a kiss.
301
00:16:41,959 --> 00:16:44,337
Uh... Tabatha?
302
00:16:44,378 --> 00:16:46,047
Uh, hon?
303
00:16:48,758 --> 00:16:51,802
What, uh--? What's the matter
with her?
304
00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:53,596
She's depressed.
305
00:16:53,638 --> 00:16:54,722
By what?
306
00:16:54,764 --> 00:16:57,391
None of her friends
will play with her.
307
00:16:57,433 --> 00:16:59,060
Because her mother's a witch?
308
00:16:59,060 --> 00:17:00,770
No.
309
00:17:00,770 --> 00:17:04,106
Because her mother's a witch
who won't give everyone a pony.
310
00:17:05,691 --> 00:17:06,901
Poor kid.
311
00:17:06,943 --> 00:17:09,737
Why should she be punished for
my mistake?
312
00:17:11,989 --> 00:17:13,157
You get it.
313
00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:15,952
And if it's another moocher...
314
00:17:15,993 --> 00:17:17,619
turn him into a chicken!
315
00:17:23,459 --> 00:17:24,752
Mrs. Darrin Stevens?
316
00:17:24,794 --> 00:17:25,586
Yes.
317
00:17:25,628 --> 00:17:27,463
I'm Brigadier General Stanton.
318
00:17:27,505 --> 00:17:28,631
This is Agent W
319
00:17:28,673 --> 00:17:31,926
of our top-secret
organization the HHH.
320
00:17:31,968 --> 00:17:34,887
What does HHH stand for?
321
00:17:34,929 --> 00:17:36,638
That's top-secret.
322
00:17:38,099 --> 00:17:40,810
We'd like to confer with you and
your husband.
323
00:17:40,810 --> 00:17:42,311
Oh. Certainly.
324
00:17:42,353 --> 00:17:43,854
Come in.
325
00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:47,858
I'll get the door.
326
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:53,406
General Stanton, Agent W of the
HHH, my husband, Darrin Stevens.
327
00:17:53,446 --> 00:17:55,449
- How do you do?
- How do you do?
328
00:17:56,951 --> 00:17:58,160
Who assaulted you?
329
00:17:58,160 --> 00:17:59,662
Uh, my fans.
330
00:17:59,704 --> 00:18:03,082
General, next time they won't
miss.
331
00:18:03,124 --> 00:18:04,375
Stevens,
332
00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:05,960
I regret to
inform you that you,
333
00:18:06,002 --> 00:18:09,380
your wife and your daughter are
in grave personal danger.
334
00:18:09,380 --> 00:18:10,840
We are?
335
00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:13,551
Washington has been flooded with
letters and telegrams
336
00:18:13,551 --> 00:18:17,263
demanding that you all be
burned at the stake.
337
00:18:17,305 --> 00:18:19,390
Oh, well,
that's ridiculous.
338
00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:22,143
Witch-burning went out in the
17th century.
339
00:18:22,184 --> 00:18:24,895
It's being revived.
340
00:18:24,936 --> 00:18:26,731
May we be seated?
341
00:18:26,772 --> 00:18:28,107
Please.
342
00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:38,701
We have reason to believe that a
blueprint
343
00:18:38,743 --> 00:18:41,037
for your destruction is nearing
completion.
344
00:18:41,078 --> 00:18:44,165
They're gathering firewood
from Maine to California.
345
00:18:44,205 --> 00:18:45,833
Oh, piffle!
346
00:18:45,875 --> 00:18:49,670
Mrs. Stevens, to the security of
the United States of America,
347
00:18:49,712 --> 00:18:52,340
I assure you it is not piffle.
348
00:18:52,381 --> 00:18:53,674
Why not?
349
00:18:53,715 --> 00:18:56,344
Because we need you.
350
00:18:56,385 --> 00:18:58,220
Uh, thank you.
351
00:18:58,220 --> 00:19:00,222
Not you.
352
00:19:00,263 --> 00:19:01,932
Her.
353
00:19:03,768 --> 00:19:07,313
You are an American
witch, aren't you?
354
00:19:07,355 --> 00:19:08,731
Yes.
355
00:19:08,773 --> 00:19:11,484
And will you use your powers to
defend your country?
356
00:19:11,525 --> 00:19:13,361
- No.
- Yes, she will.
357
00:19:13,361 --> 00:19:17,156
Darrin, you don't want me to
use my witchcraft for anything.
358
00:19:17,198 --> 00:19:18,532
That was my old policy.
359
00:19:18,574 --> 00:19:20,951
My new policy is...
360
00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:22,869
Is what?
361
00:19:22,912 --> 00:19:25,705
Whatever best serves my country.
362
00:19:25,748 --> 00:19:28,042
That's well spoken, son.
363
00:19:28,876 --> 00:19:30,670
We want to take the three of you
364
00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:32,421
into protective custody
365
00:19:32,463 --> 00:19:35,215
so we can interrogate your wife
thoroughly
366
00:19:35,257 --> 00:19:36,717
and at the same time,
367
00:19:36,759 --> 00:19:40,221
keep you and your child
under armed guard.
368
00:19:40,221 --> 00:19:44,433
In other words, you want us to
become military prisoners.
369
00:19:44,475 --> 00:19:45,893
Guests.
370
00:19:45,935 --> 00:19:47,436
Where?
371
00:19:47,478 --> 00:19:48,854
We haven't decided.
372
00:19:48,896 --> 00:19:51,440
We thought your wife
might help us.
373
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:55,444
Oh, well, I'd be happy to.
374
00:19:55,486 --> 00:19:58,280
What type of place
did you have in mind?
375
00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:00,074
Someplace isolated.
376
00:20:00,116 --> 00:20:05,246
Say, for instance, an
abandoned military installation
377
00:20:05,287 --> 00:20:09,792
somewhere in the middle of a
desert, with maximum security.
378
00:20:10,835 --> 00:20:14,463
A nice concentration-camp
atmosphere?
379
00:20:14,505 --> 00:20:16,882
Yes, that's it.
380
00:20:16,924 --> 00:20:18,759
When would you like us to leave?
381
00:20:18,759 --> 00:20:20,302
The sooner, the better.
382
00:20:22,346 --> 00:20:23,431
Tabatha?
383
00:20:23,472 --> 00:20:25,474
Would you come down here a
minute?
384
00:20:25,516 --> 00:20:27,601
Uh, by the way,
she is a witch.
385
00:20:27,643 --> 00:20:30,646
There are others:
my mother and Aunt Clara,
386
00:20:30,688 --> 00:20:33,232
and my daddy and
Uncle Arthur are warlocks.
387
00:20:33,273 --> 00:20:37,653
And so is, uh, Aunt
Enchantra, Aunt Hagatha, Cousin--
388
00:20:37,695 --> 00:20:39,029
Oh, here, sweetheart.
389
00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:41,157
You come over here
and stand still. all right?
390
00:20:41,198 --> 00:20:42,950
Yes, Mommy.
391
00:20:43,492 --> 00:20:45,244
Ah, Alrighty.
392
00:20:45,286 --> 00:20:47,246
Darrin, are you ready?
393
00:20:47,288 --> 00:20:48,497
Ready?
394
00:20:48,539 --> 00:20:49,915
Uh, ohh...
395
00:20:50,666 --> 00:20:52,126
Excuse me.
396
00:20:52,167 --> 00:20:53,669
Ready for what?
397
00:20:53,669 --> 00:20:56,046
To do our patriotic duty.
398
00:21:00,384 --> 00:21:03,012
There go
three great Americans.
399
00:21:15,023 --> 00:21:16,400
Where are we?
400
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:18,861
We're in protective custody.
401
00:21:18,903 --> 00:21:23,199
That trailer is our new home,
and this is our recreation area.
402
00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:24,325
How do you like it?
403
00:21:24,366 --> 00:21:25,868
I hate it!
404
00:21:37,463 --> 00:21:40,340
Mrs. Stephens, Miss
Stephens, interrogation time.
405
00:21:40,382 --> 00:21:41,675
Yes, sir.
406
00:21:41,717 --> 00:21:44,011
Come on, sweetheart.
407
00:21:44,053 --> 00:21:45,846
Why are they taking Tabatha?
408
00:21:45,888 --> 00:21:49,517
Because little American witches
grow into big American witches.
409
00:21:49,558 --> 00:21:51,602
Goodbye, daddy.
I love you.
410
00:21:52,102 --> 00:21:53,646
I love you.
411
00:21:53,686 --> 00:21:55,272
So do I.
412
00:21:55,272 --> 00:21:56,440
Bye-bye.
413
00:21:56,482 --> 00:21:57,817
Bye.
414
00:22:17,378 --> 00:22:19,547
Let me out!
Let me out!
415
00:22:19,588 --> 00:22:21,590
Let me out!
416
00:22:21,590 --> 00:22:23,592
Let me out!
Let me out!
417
00:22:23,634 --> 00:22:24,885
- Yes, sweetie.
- Let me out!
418
00:22:24,927 --> 00:22:27,429
Yes, I'll let you outright this
minute.
419
00:22:27,429 --> 00:22:28,888
Hekon Zooma
Mylo smover
420
00:22:28,931 --> 00:22:31,141
Your magic dream
Is now all over
421
00:22:32,309 --> 00:22:34,395
Samantha, come back!
422
00:22:34,436 --> 00:22:36,146
Come back from where?
423
00:22:37,314 --> 00:22:39,984
Oh. You're here.
424
00:22:41,569 --> 00:22:43,320
And I'm here.
425
00:22:44,196 --> 00:22:45,573
Where's Tabatha?
426
00:22:45,614 --> 00:22:47,825
She's in her bedroom. Why?
427
00:22:47,867 --> 00:22:50,411
Well, because...
428
00:22:50,452 --> 00:22:52,246
Because I was, uh...
429
00:22:54,665 --> 00:22:56,750
Oh, nothing.
430
00:22:56,792 --> 00:22:58,210
Oh, I just, uh...
431
00:22:59,628 --> 00:23:01,171
Nothing, goo--
432
00:23:01,839 --> 00:23:03,465
Good night, Sam.
433
00:23:04,758 --> 00:23:06,719
Good night, sweetheart.
434
00:23:07,428 --> 00:23:08,929
Pleasant dreams.
435
00:23:24,987 --> 00:23:26,446
Good morning, ladies.
436
00:23:26,488 --> 00:23:28,115
Good morning, sweetheart.
437
00:23:28,824 --> 00:23:29,782
Good morning, daddy.
438
00:23:29,825 --> 00:23:31,160
Good morning.
439
00:23:33,119 --> 00:23:34,204
Here you go.
440
00:23:34,246 --> 00:23:35,705
Thank you.
441
00:23:38,500 --> 00:23:39,792
How'd you sleep?
442
00:23:39,835 --> 00:23:41,170
Like a tot.
443
00:23:43,631 --> 00:23:48,636
Darrin, I've been thinking
about what you said last night.
444
00:23:48,677 --> 00:23:50,554
What I said about what?
445
00:23:50,596 --> 00:23:53,307
About telling
the world our secret.
446
00:23:53,349 --> 00:23:54,391
Let's do it.
447
00:23:54,391 --> 00:23:55,643
Honey, wait a second--
448
00:23:55,684 --> 00:23:56,977
I want to confess.
449
00:23:57,019 --> 00:23:59,647
I want to breathe the air
of truthfulness.
450
00:23:59,688 --> 00:24:00,689
But--But--But--
451
00:24:00,689 --> 00:24:01,690
Don't you?
452
00:24:01,732 --> 00:24:02,816
No!
453
00:24:02,858 --> 00:24:04,484
I mean, uh...
454
00:24:04,526 --> 00:24:06,654
I like things the way they are.
455
00:24:06,695 --> 00:24:08,238
We may have our ups and downs,
456
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:11,116
but by and large, we're pretty
happy.
457
00:24:11,157 --> 00:24:14,244
So let's not rock the boat.
458
00:24:14,286 --> 00:24:15,955
Okay?
459
00:24:17,289 --> 00:24:20,334
Well... Okay.
460
00:24:20,376 --> 00:24:21,460
If you insist.
461
00:24:21,502 --> 00:24:22,878
Oh, I insist.
462
00:24:25,005 --> 00:24:27,132
What made you
change your mind?
463
00:24:27,174 --> 00:24:29,802
Oh, you might say I slept on it.
464
00:24:29,843 --> 00:24:31,470
Slept on it?
465
00:24:31,512 --> 00:24:33,055
Yes.
466
00:24:33,763 --> 00:24:35,140
Oh.
30804
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