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1
00:00:02,251 --> 00:00:04,463
Mother, mother.
2
00:00:04,505 --> 00:00:06,673
I know you're here somewhere.
3
00:00:06,715 --> 00:00:08,217
What are you up to?
4
00:00:08,257 --> 00:00:10,010
Good morning, dear.
5
00:00:10,052 --> 00:00:12,554
Where is my darling,
little, Tabatha?
6
00:00:12,596 --> 00:00:15,682
You know she simply adores
her Grandmamma.
7
00:00:15,724 --> 00:00:17,809
Well, I don't.
8
00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:20,812
Mother, I am furious with you.
9
00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:23,690
Oh? What on earth for?
10
00:00:23,732 --> 00:00:25,817
Where is the little angel?
11
00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:27,694
She is out playing in the yard.
12
00:00:27,736 --> 00:00:29,279
Now, don't you be devious.
13
00:00:29,321 --> 00:00:31,031
I know you put spell on Darrin.
14
00:00:31,073 --> 00:00:35,702
Oh, it was just a harmless,
little, touch of revenge.
15
00:00:35,744 --> 00:00:38,497
I would hardly call
burying Darrin
16
00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:40,040
under a ton of shaving cream
17
00:00:40,082 --> 00:00:42,543
a harmless, little,
touch of revenge.
18
00:00:42,584 --> 00:00:45,170
He looked like
a walking snowman.
19
00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:47,589
Wasn't it amusing?
20
00:00:47,631 --> 00:00:50,217
Darrin is not
laughing.
21
00:00:50,259 --> 00:00:52,261
Well, he deserved it.
22
00:00:52,302 --> 00:00:55,222
He behaved very churlishly
towards me last night,
23
00:00:55,264 --> 00:00:58,725
just because I brought
Tabatha a little gift.
24
00:00:58,767 --> 00:01:02,604
A unicorn is not a little gift.
25
00:01:02,646 --> 00:01:05,482
You know I meant well.
26
00:01:05,524 --> 00:01:08,527
Besides, Tabatha would have been
the only little girl
27
00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:11,738
on the block
with a unicorn.
28
00:01:11,780 --> 00:01:14,575
Mother, you have
a depraved sense of humor.
29
00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:15,950
Thank you.
30
00:01:15,993 --> 00:01:18,078
[Darrin] Sam, I'm leaving.
31
00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:20,414
Uh-oh.
32
00:01:20,455 --> 00:01:23,083
Sweetheart, why don't you
just take a few minutes
33
00:01:23,125 --> 00:01:25,043
and have some breakfast?
I'm late already,
34
00:01:25,084 --> 00:01:26,920
thanks to your mother's
weird sense of humor.
35
00:01:26,962 --> 00:01:29,047
Darrin, maybe you're wrong
to blame mother.
36
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:31,633
I mean, they could have
all been just accidents.
37
00:01:31,675 --> 00:01:33,802
The shaving cream could
have been overheated,
38
00:01:33,844 --> 00:01:36,555
and you just could have squeezed
the toothpaste too hard.
39
00:01:43,312 --> 00:01:46,231
And that chicken could have been
waiting for a bus.
40
00:01:47,691 --> 00:01:50,152
Do me a favor, will you?
41
00:01:50,193 --> 00:01:53,322
Tell that old bat
to get off my back!
42
00:01:53,989 --> 00:01:55,741
Ooh.
43
00:02:02,831 --> 00:02:04,666
Sam, I can't take anymore.
44
00:02:04,708 --> 00:02:06,293
She'd better quit or--
45
00:02:06,335 --> 00:02:08,377
I'm going to do
something desperate!
46
00:02:14,593 --> 00:02:16,011
Mother.
47
00:02:17,179 --> 00:02:18,597
Hey, Mom!
48
00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:20,431
What is it lambykins?
49
00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:22,768
I heard the door slam.
50
00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:25,812
Is Durwood having one of his
temper tantrums again?
51
00:02:25,854 --> 00:02:28,732
No, no, it's more like
a nervous breakdown.
52
00:02:28,774 --> 00:02:31,818
He called me an old bat.
53
00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:34,071
Now, that's not very nice.
54
00:02:34,112 --> 00:02:36,114
Mother,
he had every right.
55
00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:37,907
You've been mean
and spiteful.
56
00:02:37,949 --> 00:02:40,369
Indeed! And he's
acting like a child.
57
00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:45,374
As a matter of fact,
maybe he ought to look like one.
58
00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:52,214
Sam!
59
00:02:53,048 --> 00:02:54,341
Sam!
60
00:02:54,383 --> 00:02:57,386
Oh, mother, you put him back
in his own car this minute.
61
00:02:57,427 --> 00:02:59,554
Oh, all right.
62
00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:05,227
You're just lucky I'm late!
63
00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:08,331
Mother, I think
you're being childish.
64
00:04:08,373 --> 00:04:11,418
Now, these little tricks
are unworthy of you.
65
00:04:11,460 --> 00:04:13,253
Really?
66
00:04:13,295 --> 00:04:16,548
Wait till you hear
what's in his attaché case.
67
00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:18,717
What?
A cobra.
68
00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:19,718
What?!
69
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:21,845
defanged,
of course.
70
00:04:21,887 --> 00:04:24,431
Just for the shock value.
71
00:04:24,473 --> 00:04:28,935
Mother, I want you to call off
this vendetta right now.
72
00:04:28,976 --> 00:04:30,520
Promise me.
73
00:04:30,562 --> 00:04:32,731
I promise.
74
00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:35,275
Witch's honor.
75
00:04:35,317 --> 00:04:36,777
Witch's honor.
76
00:04:36,818 --> 00:04:39,446
I promise not to bother
Dum-Dum anymore.
77
00:04:39,488 --> 00:04:40,447
Good.
78
00:04:40,488 --> 00:04:41,907
Now, if you'll excuse me,
79
00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:43,950
I have some housework to do.
80
00:04:43,992 --> 00:04:47,996
If you'll excuse me,
I'd rather not watch.
81
00:04:49,664 --> 00:04:51,166
Good.
82
00:04:55,337 --> 00:04:57,880
[Darrin] Samantha!
83
00:04:58,673 --> 00:05:00,217
Samantha!
84
00:05:04,012 --> 00:05:05,764
What are you doing
home so early?
85
00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:08,183
It's only 10:30.
Ow.
86
00:05:08,225 --> 00:05:09,935
Why don't you ask your mother?
87
00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:12,103
Mother?
What'd she do?
88
00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:13,438
I'll tell you what she did.
89
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:15,315
She just lost us
one of the biggest new accounts
90
00:05:15,357 --> 00:05:18,485
we've had in years--
Prune Valley Retirement Village.
91
00:05:19,861 --> 00:05:21,488
Prune Valley?
92
00:05:21,529 --> 00:05:24,074
Right. I walked into
the conference room,
93
00:05:24,115 --> 00:05:25,826
I stood at the head
of the table,
94
00:05:25,867 --> 00:05:27,327
I greeted Mr. Leroy Wendell,
95
00:05:27,369 --> 00:05:29,538
the client and his associates,
96
00:05:29,579 --> 00:05:31,081
I opened my briefcase,
97
00:05:31,122 --> 00:05:34,626
and nine people fainted,
including me.
98
00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:36,169
Oh my goodness!
99
00:05:36,211 --> 00:05:38,129
Well, what did Larry say?
100
00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:40,048
Just two words.
"You're fired."
101
00:05:40,089 --> 00:05:43,844
Oh, Darrin,
Mother promised she wouldn't.
102
00:05:43,885 --> 00:05:45,220
Well, I've got news for you.
103
00:05:45,262 --> 00:05:46,847
When it comes to
your mother's promises,
104
00:05:46,888 --> 00:05:48,765
there's a big credibility gap.
105
00:05:48,807 --> 00:05:50,433
Darrin, you're shouting at me.
106
00:05:50,475 --> 00:05:52,435
Why shouldn't I
be shouting at you?
107
00:05:52,476 --> 00:05:54,688
Because you shouldn't
take my mother's
108
00:05:54,729 --> 00:05:56,857
lack of credibility
out on me.
109
00:05:56,898 --> 00:05:57,940
Why not?
110
00:05:57,983 --> 00:06:00,026
You two hang together,
don't you?
111
00:06:00,068 --> 00:06:02,028
Hang together?
112
00:06:02,070 --> 00:06:03,947
Just what do you
mean by that?
113
00:06:03,988 --> 00:06:05,323
Well, you know
what I mean.
114
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:07,200
When we get right down
to the nitty-gritty,
115
00:06:07,242 --> 00:06:08,910
we know where
your sympathies lie.
116
00:06:08,952 --> 00:06:10,704
Broomsticks are thicker
than water.
117
00:06:10,745 --> 00:06:11,997
Darrin!
118
00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:13,832
It's been that way
ever since we got married!
119
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:16,084
You and her against me!
120
00:06:16,126 --> 00:06:18,295
And I'm the one who suffers.
121
00:06:18,336 --> 00:06:20,547
You know what
I think you've got?
122
00:06:20,589 --> 00:06:22,089
A persecution complex.
123
00:06:22,132 --> 00:06:25,051
Well, who has
a better right?
124
00:06:25,093 --> 00:06:27,053
Maybe you'd be happier
if you'd never met me.
125
00:06:27,095 --> 00:06:28,680
Is that what you're
trying to say?
126
00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:30,807
You said it,
I didn't.
127
00:06:30,849 --> 00:06:32,058
What do you mean by that?
128
00:06:32,100 --> 00:06:34,811
Make of it
anything you want.
129
00:06:34,853 --> 00:06:37,647
Ohhh. Darrin?
130
00:06:37,689 --> 00:06:41,484
Darrin! Wh-where are you?
131
00:06:41,526 --> 00:06:42,819
What's happening?
132
00:06:42,861 --> 00:06:44,696
Morning, darling.
133
00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:46,363
What did you do
with Darrin?
134
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,408
I was just being
a good mother-in-law,
135
00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:50,493
I gave him what he wanted.
What?
136
00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:53,204
He said he'd be happier
if he'd never met you.
137
00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:55,832
He didn't say it.
I said it.
138
00:06:55,874 --> 00:06:58,084
Well, who cares
who said it?
139
00:06:58,126 --> 00:07:00,420
I arranged it.
Where is he?
140
00:07:00,462 --> 00:07:03,130
Right where he would be,
if he'd never met you.
141
00:07:03,173 --> 00:07:06,760
Mother, you bring him back
right this instant.
142
00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:08,178
Now, just wait a minute.
143
00:07:08,219 --> 00:07:10,263
Let's not be hasty.
144
00:07:10,305 --> 00:07:13,934
He may be a good deal happier
where he is now.
145
00:07:13,975 --> 00:07:15,685
He loves me, Mother.
146
00:07:15,727 --> 00:07:17,395
Are you sure?
147
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:20,190
After all we've put him through
these past few years?
148
00:07:20,231 --> 00:07:23,526
Let me refresh
your memory.
149
00:07:23,568 --> 00:07:27,197
How many normal,
red-blooded, American husbands
150
00:07:27,238 --> 00:07:30,367
have been changed into a monkey,
151
00:07:30,408 --> 00:07:33,161
and a penguin, and a wart hog?
152
00:07:33,203 --> 00:07:35,956
Darrin was never a wart hog.
153
00:07:35,997 --> 00:07:38,083
You're quite right.
154
00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:40,585
It's just that I thought
about it so much.
155
00:07:40,669 --> 00:07:43,171
Mother, do you know
what all this proves?
156
00:07:43,213 --> 00:07:45,048
It proves that he loves me.
157
00:07:45,090 --> 00:07:48,635
What man would go through
all this if he didn't?
158
00:07:48,677 --> 00:07:50,303
Now, you bring him back.
159
00:07:50,345 --> 00:07:52,681
You want what's best
for him, don't you?
160
00:07:52,722 --> 00:07:54,474
I'm what's best for him.
161
00:07:54,516 --> 00:07:58,061
Do you have the courage
to find out if that's really so?
162
00:07:58,103 --> 00:07:59,646
We can very easily,
you know.
163
00:07:59,688 --> 00:08:02,607
We can just go,
and take a little look.
164
00:08:03,858 --> 00:08:05,777
All right.
165
00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:07,654
Let's just do that.
166
00:08:10,115 --> 00:08:12,993
But I know
you're wrong.
167
00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:15,453
Good. Let's go.
168
00:08:21,292 --> 00:08:23,503
Where are we going,
Mother?
169
00:08:23,545 --> 00:08:26,798
Across in time,
Samantha.
170
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:28,508
To the now that might have been,
171
00:08:28,550 --> 00:08:31,469
if you and Durwood
had never met.
172
00:08:36,099 --> 00:08:37,350
Well, here we are.
173
00:08:37,392 --> 00:08:38,977
Don't be nervous, dear.
174
00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:41,521
I'm not nervous.
175
00:08:41,563 --> 00:08:43,565
Oh, really?
176
00:08:48,403 --> 00:08:49,696
Morning,
Mr. Stephens.
177
00:08:49,738 --> 00:08:51,489
Morning,
Charlie Baby.
178
00:08:51,489 --> 00:08:52,991
Bring it up
around 3:00.
179
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:54,868
I want to take a run
out to the boat.
180
00:08:54,909 --> 00:08:56,327
Right.
181
00:09:01,124 --> 00:09:03,710
There. You see, Mother,
how miserable he is?
182
00:09:03,752 --> 00:09:06,296
Miserable? He doesn't
look miserable to me.
183
00:09:06,337 --> 00:09:07,547
Well, it's obvious.
184
00:09:07,589 --> 00:09:10,383
Those clothes,
and that car, and a boat.
185
00:09:10,425 --> 00:09:13,219
Well, it's simply a cover-up
for a very lonely man.
186
00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:15,554
What about
that big smile?
187
00:09:15,597 --> 00:09:17,390
It was a lonely smile,
Mother.
188
00:09:17,432 --> 00:09:19,434
All right,
let's go upstairs
189
00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:22,771
and take a look at him
in the office, shall we?
190
00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:38,203
Oh, my.
191
00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:40,121
What's he done
to his office?
192
00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:44,417
Why? I think
it's very elegant.
193
00:09:44,458 --> 00:09:46,252
Yes, b-b-but
that's the point.
194
00:09:46,294 --> 00:09:47,921
It's too elegant.
It's overdone.
195
00:09:47,962 --> 00:09:50,256
Oh, really?
196
00:09:50,298 --> 00:09:52,592
Well, I'll say one thing,
197
00:09:52,634 --> 00:09:55,595
not knowing you hasn't
hurt his golf game any.
198
00:09:55,636 --> 00:09:58,306
Look at all these
beautiful cups he's won.
199
00:09:58,348 --> 00:10:02,684
Oh, sure. Wasting his
time on a golf course.
200
00:10:02,727 --> 00:10:04,604
Lonely man.
201
00:10:04,646 --> 00:10:06,022
I don't know.
202
00:10:06,064 --> 00:10:07,607
Have you seen
these pictures?
203
00:10:07,649 --> 00:10:11,236
Acapulco, San Juan,
Buenos Aires.
204
00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:15,698
Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk.
Running away from life.
205
00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:19,452
Yes, and he's still wearing
that same, lonely smile
206
00:10:19,494 --> 00:10:21,578
in all those pictures.
207
00:10:21,578 --> 00:10:23,581
I wonder how he's doing
in business?
208
00:10:23,581 --> 00:10:27,168
With all his playing around,
and golf and everything,
209
00:10:27,210 --> 00:10:29,587
he couldn't be doing
too well.
210
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:30,588
Darrin.
211
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:33,341
Shh. Quiet.
Watch me sink this.
212
00:10:36,511 --> 00:10:38,596
Good shot.
213
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,723
Listen congratulations,
you son of a gun,
214
00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:42,684
we just signed up
Jonathan Broadhurst.
215
00:10:42,725 --> 00:10:45,145
You know, those layouts
of yours flipped him.
216
00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:46,771
Couldn't wait to put his name
on the paper.
217
00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:49,774
Of course, Lar,
it was in the bag.
218
00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:52,861
You know, I was talking
to McMann yesterday
219
00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:56,823
and looks like we might have to
change a few signs around here.
220
00:10:56,865 --> 00:11:01,995
Uh, how does McMann, Tate
and Stephens, sound, hmm?
221
00:11:03,371 --> 00:11:05,748
Well, not as good as
Stephens, Tate and McMann,
222
00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:09,043
but I guess it's okay.
223
00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:10,420
He's going to be
a partner.
224
00:11:10,461 --> 00:11:12,005
Isn't that wonderful?
225
00:11:12,046 --> 00:11:13,590
No.
226
00:11:13,631 --> 00:11:14,506
Darrin?
227
00:11:14,549 --> 00:11:16,718
[Sam shrieks] Hey, Sheila. Come on in.
228
00:11:16,759 --> 00:11:19,179
Mother, that's
Sheila Sommers.
229
00:11:19,220 --> 00:11:20,763
Darrin's old
girlfriend.
230
00:11:20,804 --> 00:11:22,348
Hello, Larry.
231
00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:24,517
She doesn't look
so old to me.
232
00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:27,061
Well, uh, I'll see
you kids later, huh?
233
00:11:27,102 --> 00:11:29,564
I've, uh, got
some things to do.
234
00:11:32,984 --> 00:11:34,194
Mmm...
235
00:11:34,235 --> 00:11:37,989
Oh, he's kissing her!
That dirty cheat.
236
00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:40,450
He's not a cheat,
Samantha.
237
00:11:40,491 --> 00:11:43,535
After all,
he's not married to you.
238
00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:47,081
Oh. Uh...
239
00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:49,000
Oh, that's right.
240
00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:04,015
Oh, he's a regular little
kissing bug, isn't he?
241
00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:05,099
Oh!
242
00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:07,227
Mm, you know something,
Darrin?
243
00:12:07,268 --> 00:12:09,562
I don't think I can wait
ten more days
244
00:12:09,604 --> 00:12:11,689
until I'm
Mrs. Darrin Stephens.
245
00:12:11,689 --> 00:12:13,942
They're not married yet,
Mother.
246
00:12:13,982 --> 00:12:15,401
We could go to Vegas.
247
00:12:15,443 --> 00:12:18,780
If we catch a plane now,
we could be married today.
248
00:12:18,821 --> 00:12:20,615
How romantic.
249
00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:21,824
Elope?
250
00:12:21,866 --> 00:12:24,410
Oh, now, Darrin,
we couldn't do that to Daddy.
251
00:12:24,452 --> 00:12:26,828
You know, he's already spent
so much on the wedding.
252
00:12:26,871 --> 00:12:29,290
And he's invited
all his business associates,
253
00:12:29,332 --> 00:12:31,458
and it's going to be
a big tax write-off.
254
00:12:31,501 --> 00:12:33,253
Daddy's all heart,
isn't he.
255
00:12:33,294 --> 00:12:36,130
Oh Darrin, uh...
256
00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:39,092
About the honeymoon,
after Lisbon,
257
00:12:39,133 --> 00:12:41,761
we ought to skip Majorca and
go right to the Canary Islands.
258
00:12:41,803 --> 00:12:43,763
We could spend
three or four weeks there.
259
00:12:43,804 --> 00:12:46,766
He only took me
to Atlantic City.
260
00:12:46,808 --> 00:12:50,102
I hate to bring this up, but how
much is this trip going to cost?
261
00:12:50,144 --> 00:12:53,773
Now, Darrin, you promised you
weren't going to talk about money.
262
00:12:53,815 --> 00:12:55,984
Daddy's taking care
of the whole thing.
263
00:12:56,025 --> 00:12:57,318
It's his wedding present.
264
00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:59,696
I know, but I just
don't feel right.
265
00:12:59,737 --> 00:13:02,949
He still doesn't know
a good thing when he sees it.
266
00:13:04,659 --> 00:13:06,744
Oh, Darling.
I've got to be going.
267
00:13:06,785 --> 00:13:09,664
But don't you be late
for that party tonight, hmm?
268
00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:11,624
I wonder how she'd look
with that putter
269
00:13:11,666 --> 00:13:13,001
wrapped around her neck?
270
00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:14,794
Ah, ah, ah, ah. Samantha,
271
00:13:14,836 --> 00:13:19,131
We're here just
as observers, you know.
272
00:13:19,173 --> 00:13:20,633
You wear your
white dinner jacket,
273
00:13:20,675 --> 00:13:22,969
with your ruffled shirt.
274
00:13:23,011 --> 00:13:24,929
You look beautiful in it.
275
00:13:25,804 --> 00:13:28,016
Ruffles?
276
00:13:28,725 --> 00:13:30,184
Darrin?
277
00:13:30,226 --> 00:13:31,477
Okay to come in?
278
00:13:31,519 --> 00:13:32,979
Sure, come on in.
279
00:13:33,021 --> 00:13:34,272
Sheila just left.
280
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:36,149
You know, I envy you.
281
00:13:36,190 --> 00:13:38,109
Marrying a gorgeous girl
like Sheila,
282
00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:40,820
whose daddy's the fourth
richest man in the country.
283
00:13:40,862 --> 00:13:44,115
You've got to be
the luckiest guy alive.
284
00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:45,491
I guess I am.
285
00:13:45,533 --> 00:13:47,535
I guess I am
the luckiest man alive.
286
00:13:47,577 --> 00:13:50,038
Come on, I'll buy you
a drink on it.
287
00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:53,458
Now, are you convinced
288
00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:55,501
that Durwood is
happier without you?
289
00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:58,421
You heard it
from his own lips.
290
00:13:58,463 --> 00:14:00,840
Darrin didn't say happy,
Mother.
291
00:14:00,881 --> 00:14:03,509
He said "lucky."
There's a big difference.
292
00:14:03,551 --> 00:14:06,679
Oh, come now,
Samantha.
293
00:14:06,721 --> 00:14:08,723
The best way
is a clean break.
294
00:14:09,223 --> 00:14:10,266
No.
295
00:14:10,308 --> 00:14:11,768
No, I want to be sure.
296
00:14:11,809 --> 00:14:13,561
I'm gonna go
to that party tonight.
297
00:14:13,602 --> 00:14:17,482
Oh, you are a glutton
for punishment.
298
00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:23,738
Darrin, at this moment,
299
00:14:23,780 --> 00:14:26,491
I feel very warm towards you.
300
00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:27,992
Like a father.
301
00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:30,453
Oh? What'd you
have in mind?
302
00:14:30,495 --> 00:14:32,205
My money.
303
00:14:32,246 --> 00:14:33,623
That's not true,
Sheila.
304
00:14:33,664 --> 00:14:36,209
That 28 and a half million
dollars your father has,
305
00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:37,794
never entered my mind.
306
00:14:37,835 --> 00:14:40,588
It entered my dreams a lot,
but never my mind.
307
00:14:40,630 --> 00:14:41,923
Well, I can
tell you one thing:
308
00:14:41,964 --> 00:14:43,758
Darrin is not marrying me
for my money.
309
00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:46,552
As a matter of fact,
I had to propose.
310
00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:49,514
Oh, Mother,
she's dreadful.
311
00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:50,890
How can Darrin stand her?
312
00:14:50,932 --> 00:14:53,768
Oh, I think they make
a lovely couple.
313
00:14:53,810 --> 00:14:54,894
Ugh.
314
00:14:54,936 --> 00:14:58,147
Friends... Friends,
could I say something?
315
00:14:58,189 --> 00:15:01,484
Ladies and gentlemen,
I would like to offer a toast
316
00:15:01,526 --> 00:15:02,735
to my daughter, Sheila,
317
00:15:02,777 --> 00:15:05,738
and my future son-in-law,
Darrin Stephens.
318
00:15:05,780 --> 00:15:07,865
A long and happy marriage!
319
00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:09,700
And it better be a long
and happy marriage
320
00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:12,036
because this whole thing
is costing me a fortune.
321
00:15:14,872 --> 00:15:16,958
What's so funny about that?
322
00:15:16,999 --> 00:15:20,420
Now, in addition to picking up
the tab for the honeymoon,
323
00:15:20,461 --> 00:15:22,338
I'm also going to give
the happy couple
324
00:15:22,380 --> 00:15:24,882
two oil wells in Texas,
a corner lot
325
00:15:24,882 --> 00:15:26,843
in the heart
of downtown Phoenix,
326
00:15:26,884 --> 00:15:30,346
plus a complete set of
lightweight airplane luggage.
327
00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:34,976
I wonder what
the losers get.
328
00:15:36,978 --> 00:15:40,398
Well, he's not
the Darrin I know.
329
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:43,151
It looks like rain,
Samantha.
330
00:15:43,192 --> 00:15:45,236
We have a long ways to go.
331
00:15:46,028 --> 00:15:47,613
Here he comes.
332
00:15:55,830 --> 00:15:58,541
Oh, Mother,
look at him.
333
00:15:58,583 --> 00:16:01,627
I wonder what
he's thinking?
334
00:16:01,669 --> 00:16:04,505
What do you think
he's thinking about?
335
00:16:04,547 --> 00:16:07,008
Power? Money?
336
00:16:07,049 --> 00:16:09,886
Success? Income tax?
337
00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:15,516
Wonder where he's going.
338
00:16:15,558 --> 00:16:18,269
Well what's the difference?
We've seen enough.
339
00:16:19,020 --> 00:16:19,812
No.
340
00:16:19,854 --> 00:16:21,689
No, I'm going
to follow him.
341
00:16:22,273 --> 00:16:24,400
Samantha!
342
00:16:24,442 --> 00:16:27,236
Oh, why doesn't that girl
343
00:16:27,278 --> 00:16:29,113
ever listen to her mother?
344
00:16:33,201 --> 00:16:34,660
Well, look who's here.
345
00:16:34,702 --> 00:16:36,204
The bridegroom himself.
346
00:16:36,245 --> 00:16:37,371
Hi,
Hi, Mr. Stephens.
347
00:16:37,413 --> 00:16:38,664
Hey, Dave.
348
00:16:38,706 --> 00:16:40,666
Darrin, what are you
doing here?
349
00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:42,919
Well, I came in
for a drink, what else?
350
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:44,670
A last drink
with your old buddy
351
00:16:44,712 --> 00:16:46,589
before you take
the fatal step, huh?
352
00:16:46,631 --> 00:16:48,466
You're right.
353
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:49,759
I'll have a bourbon
on the rocks, huh?
354
00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:52,970
Make it a double.
Sure thing.
355
00:16:52,970 --> 00:16:55,014
Dave, can I talk to you
seriously for a minute?
356
00:16:55,056 --> 00:16:56,516
Well, of course.
If you can't talk
357
00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:58,351
to your best friend,
who can you talk to?
358
00:16:58,392 --> 00:16:59,685
I'm happy for you Darrin.
359
00:16:59,727 --> 00:17:01,604
I'm very happy for you.
360
00:17:02,271 --> 00:17:03,981
Oh, thanks, Al.
361
00:17:06,275 --> 00:17:09,487
You know, um...
362
00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:13,199
Sheila's a wonderful girl,
make a wonderful wife.
363
00:17:14,784 --> 00:17:18,704
Two people-- Takes two people
to make a marriage.
364
00:17:18,746 --> 00:17:22,750
And love, love, that's the--
the glue that binds.
365
00:17:22,792 --> 00:17:24,835
She's got a lot
to offer a guy.
366
00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:26,128
Her father does, too.
367
00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:27,713
Twenty eight and a half
million dollars.
368
00:17:27,755 --> 00:17:29,674
Give a little,
take a little.
369
00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:31,050
That's what
makes a marriage,
370
00:17:31,092 --> 00:17:33,177
Tell you the truth,
I'm not sure I love her.
371
00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:36,722
The main thing is mutual
understanding and trust.
372
00:17:36,763 --> 00:17:39,267
And how would
I know what love is?
373
00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:43,396
I mean, maybe I am in love
with her and just don't know it.
374
00:17:43,436 --> 00:17:44,981
But why
wouldn't I know it?
375
00:17:45,022 --> 00:17:48,192
I'm very happy for you,
Darrin, very happy.
376
00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:51,654
You found the greatest
treasure of them all.
377
00:17:52,363 --> 00:17:53,573
Hey, I gotta go.
378
00:17:53,614 --> 00:17:55,907
Al, on the tab, huh?
And Darrin,
379
00:17:55,950 --> 00:17:58,452
if you want to ever have
another little, serious talk,
380
00:17:58,494 --> 00:17:59,579
you just call me, huh?
381
00:17:59,619 --> 00:18:01,414
Oh, thanks, Dave.
382
00:18:08,045 --> 00:18:11,715
I don't know, Al.
Maybe I'm expecting too much.
383
00:18:11,757 --> 00:18:13,384
Maybe I'm looking for magic.
384
00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:15,928
Oh.
385
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:20,099
Well, I better get going.
386
00:18:21,559 --> 00:18:24,520
On the house.
Little wedding present.
387
00:18:24,561 --> 00:18:26,147
Thanks, Al.
388
00:18:27,690 --> 00:18:29,692
Thank you.
Ooh!
389
00:18:29,734 --> 00:18:32,278
I am sorry.
390
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:33,613
That was clumsy of me.
391
00:18:33,654 --> 00:18:35,071
Oh, not at all.
It was my fault.
392
00:18:35,071 --> 00:18:36,782
I wasn't looking
where I was going.
393
00:18:36,824 --> 00:18:38,826
No, it was my fault.
394
00:18:39,577 --> 00:18:41,579
Are you meeting someone?
395
00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:42,788
Well, I'm not sure.
396
00:18:42,830 --> 00:18:45,124
I may be too late.
397
00:18:45,166 --> 00:18:48,502
Um, may I, uh, buy you a drink
while you wait?
398
00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:51,839
Uh, all right.
Thank you.
399
00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:57,345
What'll you have?
400
00:18:57,386 --> 00:18:58,638
Martini, please.
401
00:18:58,679 --> 00:19:00,765
Al, a martini
for the lady.
402
00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:05,895
I'm sorry I can't join you,
but I have to get back.
403
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:08,606
To a party.
404
00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:10,232
It was nice
bumping into you.
405
00:19:13,109 --> 00:19:14,862
So long.
406
00:19:14,904 --> 00:19:17,198
Uh, put that on my tab,
will you, Al?
407
00:19:31,253 --> 00:19:34,298
That was very rude of me,
and not to mention stupid.
408
00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:36,926
This might be my last chance
to buy a drink
409
00:19:36,967 --> 00:19:39,345
for a beautiful girl.
Oh?
410
00:19:39,387 --> 00:19:42,890
Yes, I'm, uh, I'm getting
married in a few days.
411
00:19:42,932 --> 00:19:45,976
Really?
You must be thrilled.
412
00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:48,436
Yeah, I should be,
shouldn't I?
413
00:19:48,479 --> 00:19:50,064
Aren't you?
414
00:19:50,106 --> 00:19:51,941
Oh, you wouldn't
be interested.
415
00:19:51,982 --> 00:19:54,819
Yes, I would.
I really would.
416
00:19:55,486 --> 00:19:56,987
You would?
417
00:19:58,071 --> 00:20:00,950
Say, haven't I seen you
somewhere before?
418
00:20:01,992 --> 00:20:04,412
No, I don't think so.
419
00:20:05,579 --> 00:20:07,205
It's funny.
420
00:20:07,248 --> 00:20:09,542
You're sure
we've never met?
421
00:20:09,583 --> 00:20:11,419
I'm quite sure.
422
00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:14,046
You mean you're not excited
about getting married?
423
00:20:14,088 --> 00:20:17,090
Oh, I didn't say that.
Sheila's a great girl.
424
00:20:17,133 --> 00:20:20,469
I mean, we've been going
together for a long time and...
425
00:20:21,637 --> 00:20:23,388
Yes?
426
00:20:23,431 --> 00:20:25,975
Well, I'm just wondering,
maybe there's a reason
427
00:20:26,016 --> 00:20:28,352
I've been holding off.
428
00:20:29,854 --> 00:20:32,356
Maybe I've been looking
for something else.
429
00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:35,484
You know what I mean?
430
00:20:36,609 --> 00:20:38,904
Yes, I know exactly
what you mean.
431
00:20:40,489 --> 00:20:41,949
So do I.
432
00:20:43,325 --> 00:20:46,078
For the very first time,
so do I.
433
00:20:46,119 --> 00:20:49,123
This may sound kind of crazy,
but will you do me a favor?
434
00:20:49,165 --> 00:20:51,250
What? Will you sit right
here and wait for me?
435
00:20:51,292 --> 00:20:53,753
Um, I have to go,
but I'll be back.
436
00:20:53,794 --> 00:20:56,172
I have something
very important to do.
437
00:20:56,213 --> 00:20:57,465
To undo.
438
00:20:57,506 --> 00:20:58,840
Well, I-I don't--
439
00:20:58,883 --> 00:20:59,925
Please.
440
00:20:59,967 --> 00:21:03,137
Al, don't let her
out of your sight.
441
00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:06,182
Please.
442
00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:09,226
Don't go away.
443
00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:15,691
He isn't happier
without me.
444
00:21:15,733 --> 00:21:17,276
Hmm?
445
00:21:23,741 --> 00:21:25,159
Mother!
446
00:21:25,659 --> 00:21:26,786
Mother?
447
00:21:26,827 --> 00:21:29,330
I heard the whole thing.
448
00:21:29,371 --> 00:21:31,540
It was sickening.
449
00:21:31,582 --> 00:21:33,209
Bring him back, Mother.
450
00:21:33,250 --> 00:21:35,920
Oh, it kills me to think
you're going back to this
451
00:21:35,961 --> 00:21:38,297
miserable,
bourgeois existence.
452
00:21:38,339 --> 00:21:39,924
Oh, oh, oh.
453
00:21:39,965 --> 00:21:41,842
Bring him back.
454
00:21:41,884 --> 00:21:43,135
All right.
455
00:21:43,177 --> 00:21:45,471
But I'm not going
to stay around to see it.
456
00:21:51,977 --> 00:21:53,145
I mean it, Sam!
457
00:21:53,186 --> 00:21:55,648
There are times I wish
I never met you!
458
00:21:55,689 --> 00:21:58,692
Of course there are
other times I realize that I--!
459
00:21:58,734 --> 00:22:01,153
Couldn't live
without you, and I--
460
00:22:01,195 --> 00:22:03,696
Have to admit,
that's most of the time.
461
00:22:03,739 --> 00:22:06,116
Oh, Darrin.
462
00:22:09,036 --> 00:22:10,788
Even if I lose my job
at McMann and Tate,
463
00:22:10,830 --> 00:22:12,873
I still have you
and Tabatha.
464
00:22:12,915 --> 00:22:14,416
That's all that matters.
465
00:22:19,547 --> 00:22:21,048
Hmm, there's that too.
466
00:22:27,972 --> 00:22:29,682
Hey, listen to this, honey.
467
00:22:29,723 --> 00:22:31,392
"Own your own business.
468
00:22:31,433 --> 00:22:34,019
Sell our screen doors
direct to the public."
469
00:22:34,061 --> 00:22:35,271
How do you like that?
470
00:22:35,311 --> 00:22:37,147
I can be a door-to-door
door salesman.
471
00:22:37,189 --> 00:22:39,859
Oh, Darrin.
Don't be ridiculous.
472
00:22:39,900 --> 00:22:41,193
Larry's not gonna fire you
473
00:22:41,234 --> 00:22:42,987
just because of
one little client.
474
00:22:43,028 --> 00:22:45,489
It wasn't one little client.
It was one big client.
475
00:22:45,531 --> 00:22:47,992
Larry wanted that account
and I blew it.
476
00:22:48,032 --> 00:22:49,785
Oh...
477
00:22:49,827 --> 00:22:51,619
Oh, I'll get it.
478
00:22:56,625 --> 00:22:57,960
Oh. Hi, Larry.
479
00:22:58,002 --> 00:22:59,378
Hello, Sam.
480
00:22:59,420 --> 00:23:02,882
Is Darrin here?
I gotta talk to him.
481
00:23:02,923 --> 00:23:04,550
Larry, I know
why you're here,
482
00:23:04,592 --> 00:23:06,969
and I've only got
one thing to say.
483
00:23:07,011 --> 00:23:08,220
Do you own
a screen door?
484
00:23:08,262 --> 00:23:11,682
Boy, I've got
to hand it to you.
485
00:23:11,724 --> 00:23:14,560
What perception.
What instinct.
486
00:23:14,602 --> 00:23:15,853
Huh?
487
00:23:15,895 --> 00:23:17,771
Sam, this husband of yours
is something.
488
00:23:17,813 --> 00:23:20,523
His tactics are
a little strange,
489
00:23:20,566 --> 00:23:21,942
but he's something.
490
00:23:21,984 --> 00:23:23,694
You had Wendell
figured all the way.
491
00:23:23,736 --> 00:23:26,280
What do you mean?
Yeah, what do you mean?
492
00:23:26,321 --> 00:23:29,992
Well, didn't you hear the news?
It was on the radio and TV.
493
00:23:30,034 --> 00:23:32,077
Leroy Wendell was indicted
in Minnesota
494
00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:34,914
on a phony real-estate scheme.
495
00:23:34,955 --> 00:23:36,415
Well, how do you like that?
496
00:23:36,457 --> 00:23:39,084
Sure, but you sized him up
right away, didn't you?
497
00:23:39,126 --> 00:23:41,462
You snake in the grass.
498
00:23:41,503 --> 00:23:43,130
You really fouled up
the meeting,
499
00:23:43,172 --> 00:23:45,215
sent Wendell screaming
out of the office.
500
00:23:45,257 --> 00:23:47,635
See, honey,
I told you it'd work.
501
00:23:47,676 --> 00:23:49,303
One question though:
502
00:23:50,304 --> 00:23:53,098
Why didn't you let me in on it?
503
00:23:53,140 --> 00:23:56,352
I knew you'd never
go for it, Larry.
504
00:23:57,186 --> 00:23:59,188
You know, you're right.
505
00:23:59,229 --> 00:24:01,106
Sam, this husband of yours
506
00:24:01,148 --> 00:24:03,734
has the guts
of a riverboat gambler,
507
00:24:05,109 --> 00:24:06,654
Yes, I know.
508
00:24:07,321 --> 00:24:09,031
Well, I've gotta run.
509
00:24:09,073 --> 00:24:10,449
I'm late for dinner.
510
00:24:10,491 --> 00:24:13,577
But I just had to stop by
and tell you in person.
511
00:24:13,619 --> 00:24:15,037
You son of a gun.
512
00:24:15,079 --> 00:24:16,163
Bye, Sam.
513
00:24:16,205 --> 00:24:18,540
Good night, Larry.
So long, Larry.
514
00:24:20,209 --> 00:24:21,877
Whew!
There.
515
00:24:21,919 --> 00:24:25,255
You see how
nicely everything turned out?
516
00:24:25,297 --> 00:24:27,675
And we owe it
all to mother.
517
00:24:27,715 --> 00:24:29,134
You had say it, huh?
518
00:24:29,176 --> 00:24:30,803
Well, it's true.
519
00:24:30,844 --> 00:24:32,596
Well, let that be
our secret.
520
00:24:34,056 --> 00:24:35,724
I want to tell you
how sorry I am
521
00:24:35,766 --> 00:24:37,101
that I got sore
this morning
522
00:24:37,142 --> 00:24:39,436
and said all those
things to you.
523
00:24:39,478 --> 00:24:41,105
I can't imagine
what life would be like
524
00:24:41,146 --> 00:24:43,148
if I hadn't met you.
525
00:24:43,190 --> 00:24:46,026
I think I'd be pretty
darn miserable.
526
00:24:46,068 --> 00:24:49,363
Well, that's something
we'll never know, will we?
36761
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