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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,801 --> 00:00:12,930 Mother, I'd rather do it myself. 2 00:00:12,971 --> 00:00:15,974 Stop talking like a detergent commercial, 3 00:00:16,015 --> 00:00:19,102 and come and give your mama a kiss. 4 00:00:21,813 --> 00:00:22,940 Mm. 5 00:00:22,981 --> 00:00:24,733 Ooh, what's that you're wearing? 6 00:00:24,775 --> 00:00:26,485 It's joie D'Anime, darling. 7 00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:29,696 And you're still wearing that essence of bacon. 8 00:00:29,738 --> 00:00:31,865 Darrin's breakfast. 9 00:00:31,907 --> 00:00:33,200 Now, he'll be down any minute, 10 00:00:33,242 --> 00:00:34,493 so why don't you just evaporate 11 00:00:34,534 --> 00:00:35,661 until he goes off to work? 12 00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:37,537 Why don't you ask me where I've been? 13 00:00:37,579 --> 00:00:39,331 And what's in the box. 14 00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:42,000 You've been to Paris, 15 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:43,961 and there's a dress in the box. 16 00:00:44,002 --> 00:00:47,548 Marvelous. You've learned to read minds. 17 00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:49,508 No, I've learned to read labels. 18 00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:51,843 Good morning, good morning, good morning. 19 00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:53,470 Goodbye. Sweetheart... 20 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:57,558 Mother just popped in to show me the latest fashions from Paris. 21 00:00:57,599 --> 00:00:59,560 Yes, and I brought you something. 22 00:00:59,601 --> 00:01:04,022 Something for your nice little pointed head. 23 00:01:04,815 --> 00:01:07,276 Oh, Mother! 24 00:01:09,194 --> 00:01:11,113 Endora, I'm glad you're here. 25 00:01:11,154 --> 00:01:12,489 Really? Mm-hmm. 26 00:01:12,531 --> 00:01:14,825 Seeing you here has made me lose my appetite. 27 00:01:14,866 --> 00:01:17,953 That means I'll be on time for a very important meeting. 28 00:01:17,953 --> 00:01:19,580 Oh-- Bye, sweetheart. 29 00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:22,666 Stay a week. I'm on a diet. 30 00:01:24,793 --> 00:01:26,962 Even his voice is irritating. 31 00:01:27,004 --> 00:01:28,087 Well, you did start it. 32 00:01:28,130 --> 00:01:30,007 No, you did. When you married him. 33 00:01:30,007 --> 00:01:33,260 Which reminds me, 34 00:01:33,302 --> 00:01:36,555 whom do you think I ran into in Paris? 35 00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:37,347 Who? 36 00:01:37,347 --> 00:01:40,392 Your old beau, ROLLO. 37 00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:42,269 Oh? How is he? 38 00:01:42,311 --> 00:01:46,690 Oh, he's charming and attractive and debonair as ever. 39 00:01:46,732 --> 00:01:49,818 Why you turned him down I'll never understand. 40 00:01:49,860 --> 00:01:51,445 Simple. I met Darrin, 41 00:01:51,486 --> 00:01:53,780 and it was love at first sight. 42 00:01:53,822 --> 00:01:55,198 It must have been. 43 00:01:55,407 --> 00:01:56,783 If you'd taken a second look, 44 00:01:56,825 --> 00:01:58,910 you'd have run like a frightened deer. 45 00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:02,164 Mother, I have a million things to do, 46 00:02:02,205 --> 00:02:06,126 starting with saying goodbye to you. 47 00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:12,007 Of course. 48 00:02:12,049 --> 00:02:13,592 ROLLO. 49 00:02:14,092 --> 00:02:17,679 Why didn't I think of that before? 50 00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:25,479 Really, Endora. Your timing is atrocious. 51 00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:26,980 I'm sorry. Were you lunching? 52 00:02:27,022 --> 00:02:29,983 With an absolutely ravishing mademoiselle. 53 00:02:30,025 --> 00:02:33,362 Now, I'll never know whether she said yes or no. 54 00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:35,113 Oh, come now, ROLLO. 55 00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:37,907 No woman would ever say no to you. 56 00:02:37,907 --> 00:02:39,284 That's true. 57 00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:40,911 Except Samantha. 58 00:02:40,952 --> 00:02:43,997 Don't remind me. The only blot on my record. 59 00:02:44,038 --> 00:02:47,876 How'd you like to remove that blot? 60 00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:47,978 Mother, this is lovely. 61 00:03:48,019 --> 00:03:50,731 I'm glad you talked me into having lunch. 62 00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:52,107 Of course, darling. 63 00:03:52,107 --> 00:03:55,068 Even a chicken gets out of its coop now and then. 64 00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:56,319 Would you care to order now, 65 00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:58,363 or wait until the other party arrives? 66 00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:00,657 What other party? 67 00:04:00,657 --> 00:04:01,908 Samantha. 68 00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:03,660 Here's our other party now. 69 00:04:03,702 --> 00:04:05,787 Oh. Where did he come from? 70 00:04:05,829 --> 00:04:07,748 I don't know. I was just standing-- 71 00:04:07,789 --> 00:04:10,250 You're looking positively radiant. 72 00:04:10,292 --> 00:04:13,003 Mother, I know what you're cooking up. 73 00:04:13,044 --> 00:04:15,797 No reflection on you, ROLLO, but... 74 00:04:15,797 --> 00:04:17,007 Oh. 75 00:04:17,007 --> 00:04:20,385 What happened to Madame? 76 00:04:23,555 --> 00:04:25,432 Oh! 77 00:04:25,474 --> 00:04:26,600 If you don't mind, 78 00:04:26,641 --> 00:04:28,059 I would like to tell Aunt Hagatha 79 00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:31,021 that her babysitting services are no longer required. 80 00:04:31,062 --> 00:04:36,067 Samantha, I am shocked and disappointed in you. 81 00:04:36,067 --> 00:04:37,110 You're shocked! 82 00:04:37,152 --> 00:04:39,904 Oh, of all the underhanded tricks. 83 00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:41,238 My, my, my. 84 00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:42,783 I didn't know you were so attracted to him. 85 00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:44,117 Attracted to him! 86 00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:45,869 Mother, what are you talking about? 87 00:04:45,911 --> 00:04:50,874 Well... if you're so upset over the mere idea 88 00:04:50,916 --> 00:04:52,793 of having lunch with an old friend, 89 00:04:52,834 --> 00:04:56,087 what other explanation can there be? 90 00:04:56,087 --> 00:04:58,799 I am not upset with ROLLO. 91 00:04:58,839 --> 00:05:03,011 Of course, if a married woman isn't sure enough of herself 92 00:05:03,053 --> 00:05:06,473 to spend a few hours in a crowded restaurant 93 00:05:06,515 --> 00:05:08,058 with an old beau... 94 00:05:08,058 --> 00:05:09,517 Well, I'll be off now, dear. 95 00:05:09,517 --> 00:05:12,938 Just a minute, Mother. No, no, no. I understand. 96 00:05:12,938 --> 00:05:14,815 I feel very sorry for you. 97 00:05:14,856 --> 00:05:17,818 Things must be much worse than I thought 98 00:05:17,859 --> 00:05:19,861 between Darwin and you. 99 00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:21,029 It's Darrin. 100 00:05:21,071 --> 00:05:22,613 And there's nothing wrong between us. 101 00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:26,827 Of course not. But I'm sure you'll work the problem out. 102 00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:28,161 All right. 103 00:05:28,202 --> 00:05:30,997 All right, Mother. I'll have lunch with ROLLO. 104 00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:33,500 Wonderful! 105 00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:40,214 Here you are, Monsieur, one dry... 106 00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:57,232 Thank you. 107 00:05:57,274 --> 00:06:00,652 I hope it's nice and dry. 108 00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:02,988 Where's the other gentleman? 109 00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:05,156 Oh, he was just... 110 00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:07,868 And then you two... 111 00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:09,077 I don't know. 112 00:06:09,077 --> 00:06:11,413 Excuse me. 113 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:16,668 I wonder what got into ROLLO? 114 00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:17,961 I said we'd be right back. 115 00:06:18,003 --> 00:06:21,630 Pretty sure of yourself, weren't you, Mother. 116 00:06:21,673 --> 00:06:22,883 I'll get him. 117 00:06:22,924 --> 00:06:25,135 Forget it, Mother. Let's just have lunch-- 118 00:06:27,262 --> 00:06:29,431 Oh, look, there's Darrin. 119 00:06:29,472 --> 00:06:34,060 Let me finish this before I look. 120 00:06:34,101 --> 00:06:36,354 Well, well, well, this is a pleasant surprise. 121 00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:39,482 I'd say it was more in the nature of a shock. 122 00:06:39,524 --> 00:06:41,151 Sweetheart, would you like to join us? 123 00:06:41,192 --> 00:06:43,111 We'd love to have you, wouldn't we, Mother? 124 00:06:43,153 --> 00:06:45,529 Thanks, Sam. We have some business to discuss. 125 00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:47,532 Oh, that can wait. I'd certainly rather have lunch 126 00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:49,868 with a couple of classy chicks than sit alone with you. 127 00:06:49,868 --> 00:06:54,664 Uh, Bo, this chick-- I mean, this lady is my wife. 128 00:06:54,706 --> 00:06:55,957 And this is my mother-in-law. 129 00:06:55,999 --> 00:06:57,709 No kidding. Well, some guys have all the luck. 130 00:06:57,751 --> 00:07:01,838 Callahan's my name. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance. 131 00:07:01,838 --> 00:07:03,882 Oh, the pleasure is dubious. 132 00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:05,508 Well, aren't you sweet? 133 00:07:05,508 --> 00:07:07,260 What are you standing there for? Sit down, sit down. 134 00:07:07,302 --> 00:07:12,557 Mr. Callahan is a new client of ours. 135 00:07:12,557 --> 00:07:14,267 Oh! Isn't that nice? 136 00:07:14,309 --> 00:07:17,771 Hey, I bet you can't guess what I make? 137 00:07:17,812 --> 00:07:19,898 Enemies? 138 00:07:21,066 --> 00:07:23,777 Hey, you got a funny mother-in-law. 139 00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:27,739 What do you make, Mr. Callahan? 140 00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:29,199 Well, this will kill ya. 141 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:30,951 Perfume. Ain't that a gas? 142 00:07:30,992 --> 00:07:32,827 Look. Here's a sample. 143 00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:37,791 For you, bright eyes. We just came out with it. 144 00:07:37,832 --> 00:07:39,292 Autumn Flame. 145 00:07:39,334 --> 00:07:42,712 Yeah, for the older babes, you know? 146 00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:45,340 He means, uh, for the more mature woman. 147 00:07:45,382 --> 00:07:47,634 Well, have it your way. You're the advertising man. 148 00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:49,844 You see, the way I figure it, why should just the young chicks 149 00:07:49,886 --> 00:07:52,472 get all the attention? I mean, an old babe like you 150 00:07:52,514 --> 00:07:55,517 got a right to smell nice too, huh? 151 00:07:55,517 --> 00:07:57,811 Why don't we order, or something? 152 00:07:57,852 --> 00:08:04,150 You know, you're giving me a terrific brainstorm. 153 00:08:04,192 --> 00:08:06,444 We want somebody to sell Autumn Flame, right? 154 00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,488 You keep telling me we need a classy, 155 00:08:08,530 --> 00:08:10,991 older chick to do the commercials. 156 00:08:11,032 --> 00:08:12,158 Well, there she is. 157 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:13,868 I beg your pardon? She'd be perfect. 158 00:08:13,868 --> 00:08:18,832 Smart dresser, sophisticated, still pretty good-lookin'. 159 00:08:18,873 --> 00:08:20,000 Well! 160 00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:22,002 Mother, you ought to be flattered. 161 00:08:22,043 --> 00:08:23,712 Well, what do you think? 162 00:08:23,753 --> 00:08:25,714 Well... No, no, no, 163 00:08:25,755 --> 00:08:26,923 it's out of the question. 164 00:08:26,965 --> 00:08:30,719 Suppose you let me handle my own affairs. 165 00:08:30,719 --> 00:08:32,554 It's out of the question. 166 00:08:32,595 --> 00:08:34,848 You think about it and let me know tonight. 167 00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:37,767 Tonight? I want you all to dinner at my place. 168 00:08:37,809 --> 00:08:39,227 How about it? Why, uh... 169 00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:40,729 That's very sweet of you, Mr. Callahan, 170 00:08:40,729 --> 00:08:43,773 but I'm afraid it would be impossible to get a babysitter 171 00:08:43,815 --> 00:08:45,150 on such short notice. 172 00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:48,194 No problem. We'll have dinner at your place. 173 00:08:48,236 --> 00:08:51,030 Just be sure Mom's there. 174 00:08:51,072 --> 00:08:53,199 Oh, she can't. Definitely not. 175 00:08:53,241 --> 00:08:54,868 She has a previous engagement. 176 00:08:54,909 --> 00:08:57,912 Will you stop answering for me? 177 00:08:57,953 --> 00:09:01,332 I have a previous engagement. 178 00:09:01,416 --> 00:09:02,625 But I'll be there. 179 00:09:02,751 --> 00:09:03,668 Terrific. 180 00:09:03,918 --> 00:09:05,253 Hey, be sure that art director's there. 181 00:09:05,336 --> 00:09:06,629 What's his name? Bill Walters. 182 00:09:06,671 --> 00:09:08,298 Yeah, I want to get his thinking on this. 183 00:09:08,298 --> 00:09:12,719 Well, I was planning on having dinner with dear ROLLO. 184 00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:16,139 But I'll bring him to your place instead. 185 00:09:16,181 --> 00:09:18,475 Mother. Who? 186 00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:20,184 Well, I guess I'll skip lunch. 187 00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:22,062 There's so many things that I must do. 188 00:09:22,102 --> 00:09:24,773 I'll see you tonight, bright eyes. 189 00:09:24,814 --> 00:09:26,107 Oh! 190 00:09:26,107 --> 00:09:29,527 Ha! Ain't she a gas? 191 00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:35,241 I'm sorry about the disappearing act, darling, 192 00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:36,367 but it was unavoidable. 193 00:09:36,367 --> 00:09:38,953 Now, uh... where were we? 194 00:09:38,995 --> 00:09:43,458 You were just telling me about your collection of-- 195 00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:48,546 Oh, Endora? 196 00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:49,631 Yes? 197 00:09:49,672 --> 00:09:51,800 Endora, when are you going to stop hounding me? 198 00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:56,261 When you finish your assignment, you naughty, naughty boy. 199 00:09:56,304 --> 00:10:01,309 It's no use. I've never kissed a less responsive hand than Samantha's. 200 00:10:01,351 --> 00:10:03,394 You barely had a chance to talk to her. 201 00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:05,438 But tonight, you'll have a better opportunity. 202 00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:09,943 Samantha's having some people to dinner and we're invited. 203 00:10:09,984 --> 00:10:11,194 Endora, it'll never work. 204 00:10:11,236 --> 00:10:13,363 Well, if your fatal charm doesn't work, 205 00:10:13,404 --> 00:10:16,950 you'll have to think of something else. 206 00:10:16,991 --> 00:10:18,827 My love potion. 207 00:10:18,827 --> 00:10:21,788 Are you suggesting that I use that on your own daughter? 208 00:10:21,830 --> 00:10:23,623 I? Certainly not! 209 00:10:23,665 --> 00:10:26,292 I'm shocked at you even mentioning it. 210 00:10:26,333 --> 00:10:29,462 All I want to do is free my little girl 211 00:10:29,504 --> 00:10:32,131 from a life of mortal drudgery. 212 00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:34,384 How you do it is up to you. 213 00:10:34,425 --> 00:10:38,888 Endora, doesn't your conscience ever pain you? 214 00:10:38,929 --> 00:10:40,181 No. 215 00:10:40,223 --> 00:10:42,433 But now that you mention it, 216 00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:45,727 it does tickle a bit. 217 00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:55,363 You know, we don't pay peanuts for these commercials. 218 00:10:55,405 --> 00:10:57,407 No, there's a lot of-- a lot of money involved. 219 00:10:57,448 --> 00:11:01,077 Why, I know of babes that'd give their eyeteeth to do one. 220 00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:06,708 Thank you, old boy. 221 00:11:06,749 --> 00:11:09,210 So you're ROLLO, huh? That's right. 222 00:11:09,252 --> 00:11:12,630 And you're Samantha's husband, huh? 223 00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,841 That's right. 224 00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:16,718 Well. 225 00:11:16,718 --> 00:11:18,303 Yeah. 226 00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:20,304 Can I get you something to drink? 227 00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:22,307 You just did. 228 00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:24,058 Yes, heh. 229 00:11:24,058 --> 00:11:25,476 Excuse me. 230 00:11:25,476 --> 00:11:27,352 Here's your refill, Bill. Thank you. 231 00:11:27,395 --> 00:11:29,647 Harriet, can I get you something to drink? 232 00:11:29,647 --> 00:11:33,234 It looks as if Bill is going to drink for the family. 233 00:11:33,276 --> 00:11:36,279 Will you get off my back? 234 00:11:36,321 --> 00:11:38,114 Excuse me. 235 00:11:38,155 --> 00:11:40,617 Well, just don't come to me tomorrow with your hangover. 236 00:11:40,617 --> 00:11:43,244 I wouldn't come to you-- [Samantha] Hors d'oeuvre, anyone? 237 00:11:43,285 --> 00:11:46,372 Ah, Sam! Lovely party, Sam. 238 00:11:46,414 --> 00:11:47,749 Thank you, Bill. 239 00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:49,500 I'm so glad you could make it on such short notice. 240 00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:52,212 Oh, we were delighted. Haven't seen you guys in ages. 241 00:11:52,253 --> 00:11:55,381 Here, you pass these. I'll get some more. 242 00:11:55,423 --> 00:11:57,008 Can I help? 243 00:11:57,008 --> 00:12:00,595 Yes. Stay right here. 244 00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:05,058 [Callahan] Don't know why you're resisting, bright eyes. 245 00:12:05,099 --> 00:12:06,392 Ask these people here. 246 00:12:06,434 --> 00:12:08,561 Don't you think she'd make a great Miss Autumn Flame? 247 00:12:08,602 --> 00:12:10,063 If you want my personal opinion, 248 00:12:10,104 --> 00:12:12,357 I think Endora's too young for what you have in mind. 249 00:12:12,357 --> 00:12:15,568 Well, how do you know what he had in mind? 250 00:12:19,447 --> 00:12:24,577 You know, Endora, what Mr. Callahan is offering is really quite an honor. 251 00:12:24,619 --> 00:12:28,748 Sure. Stephens and I auditioned hundreds of women for the job, but you... 252 00:12:28,790 --> 00:12:32,377 stand out like a ripe pickle in a bunch of green cucumbers. 253 00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:35,421 You certainly have a flair for language. 254 00:12:35,463 --> 00:12:38,216 Oh, for heaven's sakes, ROLLO. 255 00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:41,135 Will you stop gaping at me and go back in the living room? 256 00:12:41,177 --> 00:12:43,054 I'm sorry, Sam, I can't. 257 00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:47,183 Samantha, I've forgotten how lovely you are. 258 00:12:47,225 --> 00:12:49,394 Terrific. Let's keep it that way. 259 00:12:49,434 --> 00:12:52,772 Do you know the more I see you the more I want you? 260 00:12:52,814 --> 00:12:56,651 Yes, but I can't sing it now. 261 00:12:59,862 --> 00:13:02,532 Okay. 262 00:13:02,573 --> 00:13:04,534 It's the way it's got to be. 263 00:13:04,575 --> 00:13:06,828 Dinner will be ready in about five minutes. 264 00:13:06,828 --> 00:13:09,414 I hope everybody's appetite's okay. 265 00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:10,623 Mine sure is. 266 00:13:10,665 --> 00:13:14,877 Good. I was afraid you might drown it. 267 00:13:14,877 --> 00:13:16,671 You've been rushing around so much, 268 00:13:16,713 --> 00:13:18,047 you haven't had a chance to have a drink. 269 00:13:18,089 --> 00:13:20,466 Oh, thanks, ROLLO. That's very considerate of you. 270 00:13:20,508 --> 00:13:23,928 Now look, Dora, why don't you just give in, hm? 271 00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:26,472 You're going to anyway sooner or later, you know. 272 00:13:26,514 --> 00:13:28,558 Bo Callahan always gets his way. 273 00:13:28,558 --> 00:13:32,270 Why don't we have some music? 274 00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:33,855 You know what they say, Bo. 275 00:13:33,896 --> 00:13:36,441 You can drive a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. 276 00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:40,486 Your simile is not only odious but inaccurate. 277 00:13:40,528 --> 00:13:44,449 He is driving me to drink. 278 00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:45,658 Uh, I wouldn't do that. 279 00:13:45,700 --> 00:13:49,953 You would if you had to listen to him. 280 00:13:50,955 --> 00:13:54,208 Oh! 281 00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:55,168 Oh! 282 00:13:55,208 --> 00:13:57,795 When do we start? Hm? 283 00:13:57,837 --> 00:14:00,298 When do we start the commercials, 284 00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:02,175 you big, beautiful, 285 00:14:02,216 --> 00:14:06,011 utterly irresistible man? 286 00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:08,765 I must've missed something. 287 00:14:08,806 --> 00:14:12,018 Oh, you're the sweetest little fellow! 288 00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:14,687 Oh. 289 00:14:14,729 --> 00:14:16,397 ROLLO, that was my drink, 290 00:14:16,397 --> 00:14:18,191 and you put something in it. 291 00:14:18,232 --> 00:14:19,359 Well, it wasn't my idea. 292 00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:23,780 Oh, this time Mother has gone too far. 293 00:14:25,406 --> 00:14:27,200 Maybe it won't hurt for her 294 00:14:27,241 --> 00:14:30,203 to get a taste of her own medicine. 295 00:14:30,244 --> 00:14:31,662 Sam, what's going on? 296 00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:34,957 Um... I think I'd better check my chicken. 297 00:14:34,999 --> 00:14:39,462 And, uh... I think I'd better check mine. 298 00:14:39,504 --> 00:14:41,923 I need a drink. 299 00:14:53,351 --> 00:14:54,769 Hello there. 300 00:14:54,811 --> 00:14:55,686 What? 301 00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:58,898 Where have you been all my life? 302 00:14:58,940 --> 00:15:00,566 I told you not to drink so much. 303 00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:03,194 Has anyone ever told you you have eyes 304 00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:07,198 like a stricken fawn? Please. 305 00:15:07,198 --> 00:15:08,449 Love potion?! 306 00:15:08,491 --> 00:15:10,201 That's right. ROLLO intended it for me. 307 00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:12,662 Oh, really?! Well, I've got something for him! 308 00:15:12,703 --> 00:15:15,415 Oh, Darrin-- Samantha, please, help me! 309 00:15:15,456 --> 00:15:16,874 Wha--? What's the matter? 310 00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:19,419 Why are you running from me, you beautiful creature? 311 00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:21,254 Will you leave me alone? 312 00:15:21,295 --> 00:15:22,463 Bill, what's gotten into you? 313 00:15:22,505 --> 00:15:24,048 I don't know, but it sure feels great. 314 00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:26,134 I don't think it was very nice of you to leave my mother 315 00:15:26,175 --> 00:15:28,219 and Mr. Callahan alone in the living room. 316 00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:30,888 What are you talking about? They've left. 317 00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:36,269 Harriet, lover, come back. 318 00:15:36,310 --> 00:15:38,104 Oh, no! 319 00:15:38,146 --> 00:15:39,188 Oh, yes! 320 00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:40,857 Sweetheart, why don't you go help Bill? 321 00:15:40,857 --> 00:15:43,985 You mean Harriet, don't you? 322 00:15:45,111 --> 00:15:47,488 ROLLO, why didn't you stop Mother? 323 00:15:47,530 --> 00:15:49,699 Are you joking? Do you think I want to spend 324 00:15:49,740 --> 00:15:52,493 the rest of my life as a frog? 325 00:15:52,535 --> 00:15:54,787 How long does that potion last? 326 00:15:54,829 --> 00:15:57,832 Exactly one hour. 327 00:15:58,499 --> 00:15:59,750 Oh. 328 00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:01,544 The judge'll be out in a minute. 329 00:16:01,586 --> 00:16:03,254 Now, you folks just relax. 330 00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:04,839 Gettin' married don't hurt none. 331 00:16:04,881 --> 00:16:06,757 Boy, I thought I made quick decisions, 332 00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:08,801 but you got me beat all hollow. 333 00:16:08,843 --> 00:16:11,179 My head's spinning. I don't even know how we got here. 334 00:16:11,179 --> 00:16:12,597 Witchcraft, darling. 335 00:16:12,638 --> 00:16:15,224 When you're in love, the whole world's witchcraft. 336 00:16:15,266 --> 00:16:18,478 You do want to marry me, don't you, sweetie? 337 00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:20,188 Well, yeah... Sure. 338 00:16:20,188 --> 00:16:22,648 It's all some kind of crazy dream anyway. 339 00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:24,984 ROLLO! How can you stand there and eat 340 00:16:25,026 --> 00:16:27,612 when Mother may be in terrible trouble? 341 00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:29,071 Well, how will it help her if I starve? 342 00:16:29,113 --> 00:16:32,617 Samantha. Is it all right if Darrin drives me home? 343 00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:33,826 What about Bill? 344 00:16:33,868 --> 00:16:35,411 I wouldn't dare get into a car with him! 345 00:16:35,453 --> 00:16:38,164 Harriet, my love, why are you running from your sugarplum? 346 00:16:38,206 --> 00:16:41,209 Oh, good grief! Bill, hold it down! 347 00:16:41,209 --> 00:16:42,335 You're obviously of age, 348 00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:43,878 so there's no problem about that. 349 00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:46,714 Where's your witness? Witness? 350 00:16:46,756 --> 00:16:48,257 Do we need a witness? 351 00:16:48,257 --> 00:16:50,927 Sure. You need two of 'em. 352 00:16:50,927 --> 00:16:53,513 Edna, here, can stand up for one of you, 353 00:16:53,554 --> 00:16:56,349 but we still need somebody else. 354 00:16:56,390 --> 00:16:57,517 But we don't have anyone. 355 00:16:57,558 --> 00:17:00,269 Well, leave everything to me, darling. 356 00:17:00,311 --> 00:17:04,648 Heh, heh. Excuse me. 357 00:17:09,403 --> 00:17:10,530 ROLLO? 358 00:17:10,571 --> 00:17:12,114 I don't like to eat and run, but... 359 00:17:12,156 --> 00:17:17,036 I'd rather your mother didn't find me when she comes out of-- 360 00:17:17,912 --> 00:17:21,249 I have a hunch she found him. 361 00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:22,542 ROLLO! 362 00:17:22,583 --> 00:17:26,587 Oh, there you are, ROLLO. Come on in. 363 00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:28,089 You're going to be a witness. 364 00:17:28,089 --> 00:17:30,174 Ah, a witness, heh. To what? 365 00:17:30,215 --> 00:17:32,718 Mr. Callahan and I are going to be married. 366 00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:34,178 Isn't that wonderful? 367 00:17:34,178 --> 00:17:36,430 What's your first name, dear? 368 00:17:36,472 --> 00:17:38,558 Bo. Where'd he come from? 369 00:17:38,599 --> 00:17:41,561 Oh, Rollo's always around when I need him. 370 00:17:41,602 --> 00:17:43,563 So don't worry your head about it, 371 00:17:43,604 --> 00:17:45,481 you dear, sweet little man. 372 00:17:46,648 --> 00:17:49,359 Oh, I'll, uh... I'll, uh... 373 00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:50,987 I'll, uh... I'll be right back! 374 00:17:50,987 --> 00:17:54,198 Don't start without me. 375 00:18:07,878 --> 00:18:11,757 Don't hide your heart, my little coquette. 376 00:18:14,677 --> 00:18:19,015 I know you're in there, my little love bug. 377 00:18:22,852 --> 00:18:24,604 [Bill] Hey, you want me to suffocate? 378 00:18:24,645 --> 00:18:26,147 Come here, sweetheart. 379 00:18:26,147 --> 00:18:28,733 If necessary. 380 00:18:29,817 --> 00:18:30,901 Where's Bill? 381 00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:32,028 [Bill] Let me out! 382 00:18:32,028 --> 00:18:36,407 You can't run away from love. 383 00:18:36,407 --> 00:18:37,657 Where'd you come from? 384 00:18:37,700 --> 00:18:38,784 Oh, uh-- Out there. 385 00:18:38,826 --> 00:18:41,621 I gotta talk to you, urgent. 386 00:18:41,662 --> 00:18:42,747 [Bill] Poopsie! 387 00:18:42,788 --> 00:18:46,834 You can't run away from love! 388 00:18:46,876 --> 00:18:51,130 Where is she? Where is that divine little she-devil? 389 00:18:51,172 --> 00:18:52,882 He's loose! He's loose! 390 00:18:52,923 --> 00:18:55,051 Sam, your mother's going to get married. 391 00:18:55,092 --> 00:18:57,553 I'm supposed to be the witness, heh. 392 00:18:57,595 --> 00:18:58,971 Married?! Mother? 393 00:18:59,013 --> 00:19:00,848 Oh, she can't! That's what you think. 394 00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:02,642 They're at some justice of the peace, right now. 395 00:19:02,683 --> 00:19:04,644 She's going to pop me back there any minute. 396 00:19:04,685 --> 00:19:05,978 Well, I have to stop her. How? 397 00:19:06,020 --> 00:19:08,105 She's more powerful than both of us together. 398 00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:10,691 Well, I'll think of something. Let's go. 399 00:19:10,733 --> 00:19:11,984 Where are you, love bird? 400 00:19:12,026 --> 00:19:14,779 Will you try to control yourself? 401 00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:17,490 Well, what about them? 402 00:19:17,531 --> 00:19:19,450 Come on. 403 00:19:21,118 --> 00:19:23,621 You can't hide forever, pussycat. 404 00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:25,830 Ha! I got ya! No! Let me go! 405 00:19:25,873 --> 00:19:29,710 Bill! Bill, how about a cup of black--? 406 00:19:29,752 --> 00:19:32,588 I'm sorry, sweetheart. 407 00:19:32,630 --> 00:19:35,883 All right, ROLLO. Let's go. 408 00:19:38,928 --> 00:19:41,013 Samantha, how marvelous! 409 00:19:41,055 --> 00:19:44,100 You've come to your mama's wedding. 410 00:19:44,141 --> 00:19:47,478 Mother, you can't get married. 411 00:19:47,478 --> 00:19:50,189 Mother, don't you realize you're under a spell? 412 00:19:50,231 --> 00:19:52,983 I know, dear, but when you're in love, 413 00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:55,528 the whole world's under a spell. 414 00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:57,029 Yeah, but... Oh! 415 00:19:57,071 --> 00:20:00,241 ROLLO, what's happening? She doesn't even remember Daddy. 416 00:20:00,282 --> 00:20:03,119 It's the love juice. It blocks out everyone but the love object. 417 00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:04,704 How much time have we got left? 418 00:20:04,744 --> 00:20:05,621 Four minutes. 419 00:20:07,665 --> 00:20:10,710 All right, judge. We're ready. 420 00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:13,462 Now, if you'll just join hands. 421 00:20:13,504 --> 00:20:15,172 Oh. 422 00:20:15,256 --> 00:20:17,465 Dearly beloved. 423 00:20:22,847 --> 00:20:27,017 Funny, I could've sworn I had my glasses on. 424 00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:28,644 Can't read without them. 425 00:20:28,686 --> 00:20:31,272 They were there a second ago. 426 00:20:31,313 --> 00:20:33,023 Have you forgotten the ceremony? 427 00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:36,609 You must have performed this a hundred times. 428 00:20:36,652 --> 00:20:38,738 Ha, ha. I guess so, heh. 429 00:20:38,779 --> 00:20:41,157 Dearly beloved. 430 00:20:41,157 --> 00:20:43,200 We... 431 00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:45,744 We... 432 00:20:45,786 --> 00:20:50,040 Can't remember what comes next. 433 00:20:53,461 --> 00:20:54,920 Use this, and read it. 434 00:20:54,962 --> 00:21:00,926 I must say, you folks came prepared for everything. 435 00:21:00,968 --> 00:21:02,011 Just one moment, 436 00:21:02,052 --> 00:21:04,763 and we'll get this over with. 437 00:21:04,805 --> 00:21:06,348 Samantha. 438 00:21:06,348 --> 00:21:08,476 Tsk. 439 00:21:10,060 --> 00:21:11,561 It saddens me, Samantha, 440 00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:13,773 that you can't behave yourself at your own mama's wedding. 441 00:21:13,814 --> 00:21:18,194 You'll have to go home, and stay home. 442 00:21:22,615 --> 00:21:24,700 Oh, no, you don't, Mother. 443 00:21:24,742 --> 00:21:28,287 You can't get rid of me that easily. 444 00:21:30,498 --> 00:21:32,500 She can. 445 00:21:37,546 --> 00:21:42,218 Well, if I can't go to the wedding... 446 00:21:42,218 --> 00:21:44,595 I do. 447 00:21:45,596 --> 00:21:46,638 What happened? 448 00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:47,807 Where is everybody? 449 00:21:47,848 --> 00:21:49,683 Now, don't worry, Mr. Callahan. 450 00:21:49,725 --> 00:21:51,018 If everything goes all right, 451 00:21:51,060 --> 00:21:54,897 you won't remember a thing tomorrow. 452 00:21:54,897 --> 00:21:58,734 Not bad, Samantha, but you're out-witched. 453 00:21:58,776 --> 00:22:00,861 Proceed. 454 00:22:00,903 --> 00:22:04,657 Edna, do you know what's going on? 455 00:22:04,657 --> 00:22:05,825 I think so. 456 00:22:05,866 --> 00:22:08,369 He's having a dream, and we're all in it. 457 00:22:08,369 --> 00:22:10,037 Oh. 458 00:22:10,037 --> 00:22:11,539 Where was I? 459 00:22:11,580 --> 00:22:12,873 The last line. 460 00:22:12,915 --> 00:22:17,545 "I now pronounce you," et cetera, et cetera. 461 00:22:17,586 --> 00:22:21,048 By the authority vested in me, I now pronounce you-- 462 00:22:24,176 --> 00:22:25,803 Oh, thank heaven. 463 00:22:25,845 --> 00:22:27,972 Samantha, will you explain yourself?! 464 00:22:28,013 --> 00:22:30,683 Who are all these... people?! 465 00:22:30,724 --> 00:22:32,768 She snapped out of it all right. 466 00:22:32,810 --> 00:22:34,936 I must be losing my grip! 467 00:22:34,936 --> 00:22:36,021 She can't remember? 468 00:22:36,063 --> 00:22:37,398 Uh-uh. It's like a huge drunk. 469 00:22:37,398 --> 00:22:39,441 When it wears off, you can remember very little. 470 00:22:39,483 --> 00:22:43,153 Well, uh, Mother, I'll explain later. 471 00:22:43,195 --> 00:22:44,238 But first, I think we should 472 00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:46,031 let these good people go home. 473 00:22:46,073 --> 00:22:49,869 ROLLO? With pleasure. 474 00:22:49,910 --> 00:22:52,538 This isn't a dream. It's a nightmare. 475 00:22:52,538 --> 00:22:53,372 What's going on? 476 00:22:53,414 --> 00:22:54,874 Where do you live, Mr. Callahan? 477 00:22:54,915 --> 00:22:56,917 The Town House Hotel, but-- 478 00:22:56,917 --> 00:23:00,087 Good night, Mr. Callahan. 479 00:23:00,087 --> 00:23:03,840 Now, uh... I think I'll go and take care of the others. 480 00:23:03,883 --> 00:23:05,801 Endora, let me try and explain. 481 00:23:05,843 --> 00:23:08,596 Yes, I think you should. 482 00:23:14,226 --> 00:23:16,103 Will you stop pawing me in public? 483 00:23:16,145 --> 00:23:20,941 Then let me out of this hammerlock! 484 00:23:20,983 --> 00:23:22,401 What's been going on? 485 00:23:22,443 --> 00:23:25,070 Oh, uh, i-i-it really doesn't matter now, sweetheart. 486 00:23:25,112 --> 00:23:28,073 Everything's back to normal. 487 00:23:28,115 --> 00:23:32,578 She always gets this way when she's had a few too many. 488 00:23:42,087 --> 00:23:45,424 Endora, I realize you're Samantha's mother, 489 00:23:45,465 --> 00:23:48,385 and for that reason, I don't want to be rude. 490 00:23:48,427 --> 00:23:50,137 So let me put it this way: 491 00:23:50,137 --> 00:23:51,931 The next time you fly by this house, why don't you? 492 00:23:51,972 --> 00:23:56,852 Now, Darrin, I-I really think that Mother's suffered enough. 493 00:23:56,894 --> 00:23:58,354 Oh, don't remind me! 494 00:23:58,395 --> 00:24:01,190 I shudder every time I think how close I came to calamity. 495 00:24:01,231 --> 00:24:02,441 Mother, 496 00:24:02,483 --> 00:24:04,443 I know this is foolishly wishful, 497 00:24:04,484 --> 00:24:06,278 but I hope you've learned your lesson. 498 00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:08,280 Now, there is absolutely no way you can drive 499 00:24:08,321 --> 00:24:10,407 your witchery wedge between Darrin and me. 500 00:24:10,407 --> 00:24:15,204 We made up our minds a long time ago that we belong together. 501 00:24:15,244 --> 00:24:16,872 And we're very stubborn. 502 00:24:16,914 --> 00:24:19,792 So, won't you please give up? 503 00:24:19,833 --> 00:24:22,962 Before we give you up? 504 00:24:23,003 --> 00:24:25,839 Are you threatening me? 505 00:24:25,881 --> 00:24:27,174 No. No! 506 00:24:27,215 --> 00:24:29,093 No. no, Mother, he isn't. 507 00:24:29,134 --> 00:24:32,554 He's just saying that as guests go, 508 00:24:32,596 --> 00:24:35,808 he wishes you would. 509 00:24:35,808 --> 00:24:37,643 Well! 510 00:24:40,020 --> 00:24:44,316 You really can't help admiring her style. 511 00:24:44,358 --> 00:24:50,656 She's got something else I can't help admiring even more. 36747

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