All language subtitles for Bewitched.S03E33.Theres.Gold.in.Them.Thar.Pills.Imprint.1080p.BluRay.FLAC2.0.H.264-BTN_track5_[eng]

Hello.
Max Grand's Drugstore?

Oh, hi, Evelyn.
This is Mrs. Stephens.

I was wondering...

Bless you.

Could you deliver
a hot water bottle?

Oh, I see.

Well, just tell your delivery
boy to go home and go to bed,

keep warm, drink plenty of
liquids and get a lot of rest.

Yes. Uh, bye.

Oh, dear.

Darling, forgive me
for being so late.

Late for what? Have you forgotten?
We had a date to go shopping.

Well, I'm sorry, Mother, but I
can't leave. Darrin's not well.

What's new about that?

His head is so stuffed up
he can hardly breathe.

Well, it can only be
an improvement, Samantha.

Oh, Mother. Now, I'm going to go
out and get him a hot water bottle.

Would you stay
till I get back?

Well...
Oh, please?

Oh, all right.
Thank you.

- Darling, I'm gonna go out and get you a hot water bottle.
- [Darrin] Okay.

- Dr. Altman's gonna send over one of his associates.
- [Darrin] Good.

And Mother's here.

Did you hear me?
[Darrin] I heard ya.

Uh, well, I'll only be gone a minute.
Mother's gonna take care of Tabatha.

And then can we go shopping?
Oh, Mother, that's impossible...

Unless Darrin gets well
in a hurry.

Ah.

Guess who's going
to get better in a hurry.

For your information, I
was about to enter my bath.

Oh, I'm so sorry,
Dr. Bombay,

But this is
something of an emergency.

You know perfectly well my practice
is limited to our own people.

But I thought just this teensy-weensy
once you'd make an exception.

Hmm? For me?
Pretty please?

Endora, some women
can get away with being coy.

You are not among
their number.

Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'll get back to my bath.

But if he doesn't get any better, Samantha
will be tied to this house all week.

Unfortunate. And she won't
be able to go to Paris with me.

Regrettable.

I'll just have to get Dr. Agrafor
to replace you as our family doctor.

Where's the patient?
Right this way.

I wanna thank you for coming
over to see me, doctor.

Especially, since I'm not
one of your regular patients.

No, I'd say you're
a most irregular patient.

Pardon?

Lean forward.

What's the matter?

Well, I'm only human.
Sorry, I forgot about that.

Well, I think I've located
your difficulty. What is it?

You have a cold.
I have a cold.

That's what I just said.
That's where I heard it.

These pills will do
the trick. Antibiotics?

Antibiotics only bore
a cold to death.

Take one of those pills and your
cold will be cured instantly.

That's amazing.
Who puts these out?

I do.

Well, uh, are they safe?

I can assure you they have been
untouched by human hands.

Yeah, but how come nobody
ever...

If there's going to be another
monsoon, I'd better leave.

Wait, wait, wait.
Just a minute, doctor.

It's gone!
My cold's gone!

I never make idle promises.

But this is amazing!

Doctor, have you ever thought of
putting these out commercially?

What for? You could
make an awful lot of money.

What would I do with money?

The same thing everybody
else does. Buy things...

Planes, boats, cars,
houses, you name it.

I can assure you, I have no
need for any of those things.

May I tell you something,
doctor?

It's amazing in this day and age to find
someone who doesn't care about money.

You're quite unique.
For your information,

you are concurring with
a vast body of opinion.

Can you get that, Endora?

[Endora] No. I'm busy
with the baby.

I'll be right back.

Larry, what a surprise! What
are you doing out of bed?

Sam said you couldn't lift
your head off the pillow.

You're supposed to
be suffering. I feel fine.

Oh, that's marvelous,
just marvelous!

Here I am, dragging myself to work
with a temperature of 101 degrees,

and you're at home
feeling fine!

Less than a minute ago
I was lying upstairs.

I was coughing, sneezing,
my head was stuffed.

The doctor gave me these pills I took one,
just one, mind you and the cold disappeared.

A little hard to believe, huh? No,
it's not a little hard to believe.

It's impossible to believe!

You want the surprise of your
life? Take one of these pills.

You're gonna carry this charade
out to the bitter end, eh?

I'm truly grateful to you,
Dr. Bombay.

I wish there was some way
I could repay you.

There is.
In what way?

Allow me to get on
with my bath.

Ah.

Incredible!
Didn't I tell you?

You know what's in this
bottle? A million dollars!

A million? A billion!
Where are you going?

Where do you think? To have a
nice little talk with the doctor.

Forget it. He's a dedicated scientist.
He doesn't care about money.

Doesn't care about money?

Well. Well, if money doesn't mean
anything to him, something else does.

Everybody has an Achilles'
heel, a weak spot, my boy.

And as you know, I have
a Ph.D. in weak heels.

Shh.

I just got Tabatha
to sleep.

We're just going upstairs
to see the doctor.

Oh, he's gone.
Gone!

We didn't see him
come downstairs.

Well, I... I mean he's...
He's really gone.

You know, way out.

You're not kidding. Come on, Lar.
I'll go up and send him down.

I just don't want you
to wake the baby.

Say, you know what
I was thinking? Mmm.

If we tie up the doctor, Hornbeck
will be in this afternoon...

Yeah! And can you imagine
what a pill like this would mean

to a business like
Hornbeck Pharmaceuticals?

Yeah. And for his partners.

He doesn't have
any partners. He will.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

I know a doctor isn't supposed to have a
life of his own, but this is ridiculous.

How was I to know
you were still in your bath?

I take long baths.

Dr. Agrafor takes
short showers.

[Larry] Dr. Bombay, believe me,
I know your type.

Selfless, dedicated,
devoted to your work.

And I ask you, is it fair for you to
deny your remedy to the rest of humanity?

It so happens that humanity, as
you call it, is not my concern.

Anyway, I don't know what
you're talking about.

I prescribe it
whenever it's necessary.

Doctor, I make you this offer.
Put yourself in my hands,

and you will go down
with the great of medicine.

Lister, Pasteur,
Madame Curie...

Sir! I'll thank you not to
classify me among the amateurs!

Uh, doctor.

Let me show you the big
picture.

How many people in the world?
Three billion, four?

Let's say they live in a billion
homes. Now, think of this, doctor.

In a billion bathrooms around the world,
there is a bottle in the medicine chest.

And emblazoned across
the label is the name...

"Doctor Bombay."

And below the name,
your picture.

In color.

Yes. Yes, that, uh,
might be rather nice.

Bingo.

Now, what do you say we draw up
a little agreement, Dr. Achilles?

I mean, Dr. Bombay.

Anything to get me back
to my bath.

Honey, I'm home.
Did the doctor come?

He sure did.
In fact, you just missed him.

What are you doing
out of bed?

The most incredible thing happened.
The doctor gave me some pills,

and cured my cold
just like that!

But something more important
happened. That's right, Sam.

You won't have to go shopping
anymore. The shops will come to you!

What are you talking about? The
pills! The pills the doctor gave me!

They cure the common cold! And
we've got the rights to them!

Honey, we're rich!
Well, I...

Wait a minute.

I want to know. Was that the
doctor that Dr. Altman sent?

Yeah. A great guy. A little
eccentric. Who cares? Come on, Darrin.

What was his name?
Dr. Bombay.

Doc...
Bye, honey.

Dr. Bombay!

Mother! Mother!

Oh, you're back.

Oh, Mother, how could you!
Oh, you mean Dr. Bombay?

Oh, I wouldn't worry, darling.
He cured what's-his-name's cold

and now we can hop over
to Paris.

Well, Mother, dear,
for your information,

I had no intention of
hopping anywhere with you.

I was simply humoring you! Now I have
to find out what was in those pills.

You get that quack
right back here.

I wouldn't dream
of disturbing him again.

Very well, I'll go to him. Oh, I
wouldn't do that if I were you.

Well, you're not!
I'm going to.

You see? Mama knows best.

Well, what Mama knows worst
is how to mind her own business.

Show him in, please.
He's here!

Boy, am I going to enjoy this.
Me too. The old buzzard.

Good afternoon, Mr. Hornbeck.
How are you?

Did I answer your question? Okay, let's
skip the amenities and get down to business.

Sir... Look, if you don't
come up with a campaign

that's going to stop our
sagging sales, you're through.

Do you read me? Oh,
yes, sir. Like a book.

A best-seller. Mr. Hornbeck, before
we discuss the new campaign...

I'm not ready for one of your
elaborate stalls.

If you don't have anything, just
say so, and I'll get out of here.

We've got something to
show you, all right. Now?

Now.

Sir? "Found, a cure
for the common cold.

"Dr. Bombay's cold bombs."

Well?
How 'bout that?

I'll tell you how 'bout that. I
think you people have flipped.

You don't know one account from another.
That isn't even one of my products!

That's what we're
leading up to. It can be!

What are you babbling
about? Sir, what would you say

if I told you that we ran into a doctor
who found a cure for the common cold?

I'd say put him away with the guy who
claims he can grow hair.

Mr. Hornbeck, you're in for the
biggest surprise of your life.

Here.

Incredible.
Absolutely incredible.

I'm so sorry I misjudged you.
What is this going to cost me?

It isn't going to cost
us anything, partner.

"Partner?"
Naturally.

Naturally, but the name's
all wrong. It's a little corny.

We'll have to change that.
[Darrin] Oh, we couldn't do that.

Dr. Bombay is the man
who found the cure.

And the name is part
of our deal with him.

Dr. Bombay.

Has a bit of a ring,
hasn't it?

You again!
Didn't I tell you to knock?

I knew you wouldn't be
taking a bath in here.

Dr. Bombay, I'm worried about
the pills you gave my husband.

Why? He got rid
of his cold, didn't he?

Yes, but have you ever given
them to humans before? No.

Well, then how do you know
they're safe for a human to take?

Well, I'll soon find
out, won't I?

That's not fair. They might
have some terrible side effect.

My dear girl, how is a scientist
to learn unless he experiments?

You also gave them permission to market
them. You shouldn't have done that.

Samantha, can't you see
I'm busy?

What's that?
Chicken soup.

Care for a bowl?

Not bad, not bad.
34 1/2.

Here's a beautiful
55-room home.

Has its own lake. I can
put you in it for, oh, 330,000.

How about a topcoat?

There's a steal on an 80-foot
cruiser. Sleeps ten, twin diesels.

Yes, put him on.
How much?

Uh, 92,000.
It's a hardship case.

Mmm. Larry, don't you think
this is a little premature?

Are you kidding?

You saw the way Hornbeck
flipped.

He and his lawyer will
be over here in half an hour.

Those agreements
are as good as signed.

Can't you get it through
your head we're filthy rich?

Show him a boat.
Oh, hi, Fred.

Remember that little talk we
had about you buying me out?

Well, I'm ready to talk.

Yeah, give me a call in a day or
two and we'll get together. Bye.

You're going to sell out? What do
I need an advertising business for?

Hey, that looks like a castle.

It is. On the Rhine.
Put that aside.

Here we go. Hello.

I'll tell him.

Sam's in your office. Make it fast,
will you? Before Hornbeck gets here.

Say, I like that one
with the smokestack.

You mean... You mean
he's a witch doctor?

Well, we call him
a warlock doctor.

And those pills
aren't, uh...

If that woman weren't
your mother, I'd...

And I may do it anyway!

I gotta stop Larry. Well, sweetheart,
wait, there's one more thing.

He's gone hog wild. If I don't stop
him, he may ruin us!

What happened?

That must be the side effect.

Side effect?

Dr. Bombay's pills. That's what
I was trying to warn you about.

How long is this
going to last?

I don't know.

I guess I'll just have to pop
back to Dr. Bombay's office

and see if he has an antidote.

Well, you'd better hurry,
because...

Hello?
Where's Mr. Stephens?

He just stepped out.

Would you tell him that Mr. Hornbeck
and his lawyer are on the way in?

Yes, sir.

Will you please hurry!

Oh, this is ridiculous.
We're building an empire,

and he's visiting
with his wife.

It's not like him.
It's like her. What?

Yes,
sir? Hasn't he come back yet?

No, I'm sorry,
he hasn't.

Well, it's about time!
I'm sorry, sweetheart.

Here, he guarantees one
of these will lower your voice.

Thank you.

Well?

Could you speak up
just a little bit?

Speak a little slower, sweetheart.
I'm trying to read your lips.

Gonna kill who?

I'll be right back.

Too low, eh?
He can't talk at all.

Well, is that so terrible? I've met him,
and he doesn't seem to have much to say.

Dr. Bombay, how would you like to be
reported to the witches' medical association?

Now, now, now, let's remain calm
and not indulge in idle threats.

You know you're not supposed
to practice on humans.

Now get up off your hassock
and give me something

that'll bring my husband's
voice back, or else!

Really, Sam. There's really
only one way to do it, you know.

What's that? Well, I'd
have to, uh... no, no, no, no.

It's simply out of the question for
a doctor of my far-flung reputation.

Whatever it is, you had
better do it and do it quick!

Or you have no idea
how far-flung you will be!

Well, come on.
Hornbeck's blowing his top!

Okay, so you lost your voice. You
can still listen, can't you? Come on!

Well, I found him.

Sit down, and listen.
Go ahead, Mr. Hornbeck.

We were discussing whether to go public
or hold onto the stock ourselves.

And I say why share
a gold mine?

We can always go into
public issue later.

What do you think?

You can nod your head,
can't you?

Do you think we should
go public?

You mean we should keep
the stock among the three of us?

What's the matter with him?

I think I know what it is.

This is the big one. The
chance we've all dreamed of.

And I think he's got a little
stage fright, that's all.

That's probably
why you lost your voice.

What's wrong with you?

My voice. Listen to me.

What happened? I
don't know! I don't know!

"Pills."

Side effects?

I think we've talked
long enough.

Let's sign the agreements
and get it over with.

I've got a better idea. Why don't
we just forget the whole thing?

You're joking, of course.

I wish I was.

Mr. Hornbeck, those pills
have a side effect.

Who do you think you're kidding?
Stephens disappears, then comes back,

hands you a note,
now you're trying to back out.

Don't you think I know what's going on?
You wanna give it to another company!

This is
the bait and double-cross!

Now
you have it too, Mr. Hornbeck.

So have you!
No, I didn't take any pill.

This is the way
I talk all the time.

Yes?
Mr. Tate?

Mrs. Stephens is here
again.

Hi, everybody. I thought it
might be rather nice to drink

a toast to the new company.

Forget it, Sam.
We're out of business.

Oh! Oh, Mr. Hornbeck,
this is Mrs. Stephens.

How do you do?
You too, huh?

Mmm. No sense in
letting this go to waste.

Sam, do you know
where we could find Bombay?

On the road
to Mandalay?

No, no, no! I mean the quack

who conned us into this
whole pill deal!

Those pills of his have
side effects!

Oh. Is that why your voices
all sound so funny?

It's not so funny to me!

Here, sweetheart.
Drink this.

Champagne's been known
to work wonders.

Thank you.
Thank you.

Sam, it's very
good. My voice! My voice came back.

It worked. Maybe it'll help
you fellas.

You're right, this...

Hey! I'm back to normal, too.

Hope I can get mine back.
It is back!

Didn't do a thing for me.

When I think of how close we came
to an international disaster!

Tate, this is another example of
one of your feeble...

Bless you.
I got my cold back again.

Mr. Hornbeck, how was
I to know...

Bless you.

Well, this is no place for a
lawyer who's still got his health.

So I'll see you all. Now wait,
wait. I'll drop you off in my cab.

Thanks, I'll take my own cab.
Mr. Hornbeck, I hope you'll give me

an opportunity
to make up for this goof!

Why? So you can top it with
another goof?

So this is Dr. Bombay's
magic formula.

Yes, sweetheart. I
had to drag it out of him.

And he made me promise never to tell anyone
that he gave me a prescription to catch a cold.

Well, I suppose anything's
better than...

Oh, darling,
that's marvelous.

You're back to normal.

Well.

I know, Darrin. I was saying to Louise
when I was telling her about Hornbeck

that the last three years have been nothing
but one disappointment after another.

Some good things have happened too,
Lar. Not in the last three years.

How many years you been
with us, Darrin?

Three years.

Now wait a minute, Larry! Are you
blaming me because Hornbeck pulled out?

And who introduced me
to that kook Dr. Bombay?

And who badgered him
into giving us the rights?

Darrin, one of your severest faults
is that you can't accept blame.

I can't? How about...

Mr. Hornbeck
and his lawyer are here.

Lawyer!
He's gonna sue us.

Has he got any grounds?
I don't know.

Have them come in.

That's all I need right now, is a
lawsuit! As if I don't have enough suits!

And boats! I'm sorry.
I'm getting hysterical.

Mr. Hornbeck, before you say anything,
Stephens wants to make a statement.

Me? Yes. I want you
to tell Mr. Hornbeck

that you are personally responsible for
discovering Dr. Bombay and his pills.

Now just a minute! I knew
you were the bright one!

Now, where can I find this Dr. Bombay?
I wanna make a deal with him.

What about the side effect?
Side effects, plural.

There's another one?
I'll say.

What is it?

Prager, get out those agreements.
Boys, get out your pens.

We're back in business
once again, gentlemen.

I just thought of a slogan.
"Gone tomorrow. Hair today."

Don't like it, huh?
Forget it.

I'm going to build an empire
that's gonna be the greatest

you've ever seen.
You with me?