All language subtitles for Bewitched.S03E30.How.to.Fail.in.Business.with.All.Kinds.of.Help.Imprint.1080p.BluRay.FLAC2.0.H.264-BTN_track5_[eng]

All right, Tabatha. Lesson
number one in oven cleaning.

Fascinating, huh?

I knew it.
I knew it.

I knew that life with that
mortal would finally get to you.

You're taking gas.

With an electric stove? That
would be the trick of the week.

My poor Samantha.
Where is your pride?

Do you realize you're doing
all that grubby, menial work

right before the eyes
of your child?

You bet. I figure
she can't learn too young.

Oh. Well, actually, darling,
I came to invite you

to the elephant races
at New Delhi.

[Darrin] Honey? Oh.
Not on an empty stomach!

Good.

So long, hon.
Have a nice day.

Haven't you heard? Today
is going to turn the tide.

I believe these layouts
I've been working on

are going to knock the
prospective client's eyes out.

And I'm not going to be
too tough on Larry,

but I think the bonus I get should
cover the trip to Bermuda we might take.

Might take?

Well, if the prospective client
becomes "unprospective"...

Oh, sweetheart, he'll love it. I
wouldn't have it any other way.

What do you mean by that? Nothing.
Just a little wifely encouragement.

Then keep it that way, huh?
What...

Of course.
I'll see you tonight.

Bye, sweetheart.
Bye-bye.

If you leave it to mere
wifely encouragement,

the closest you'll ever get
to Bermuda will be an onion.

Oh, very funny. You
should be in Paris or London.

Or going to the
elephant races with me.

But since he can't afford it,

I think he needs help.

Mother, dear,
butt out.

Samantha, it is your
heritage, you know.

You should live
in the sparkle of a star.

In a flash of color.

Samantha, you're a
creature of the wind.

Mother, speaking of wind,
why don't you blow?

Samantha!

Oh! Oh, Mother!

Please! Speaking
of ill winds!

This one is a beauty.
A real beauty.

You know, if Wilkerson likes this
stuff as much as I think he will,

it could mean a lot more than
one little lipstick account.

We might even lock up all the
Madame Maruska cosmetic products.

Lipstick, face cream,
hair spray, all that gook!

It'd be worth millions
to us. Millions.

You know your eyes light up when
you talk about money, Larry?

Of course.
I'm a greedy person.

Yes?

[Betty] Mr. Wilkerson is
waiting in the conference room.

Be right there!
Be right there!

Widdershins
and darklings chuckle.

One man will shine,
one man will sparkle.

Stephens will seem
to you the best,

a better man
than all the rest.

Uh, no offense, Darrin, but I
think I'd better carry the ball.

Arch Wilkerson's
an old golf buddy of mine,

and I'm sure I'll be able to handle
him with just the right touch.

That's fine with me, Larry.
You're the boss. Good boy.

Watch me have old Archie
eating right out of my hand.

Hey, Arch, have I got
a winner for you!

It's sweeter than holding out
a 60-foot approach shot.

Yes, I'm sure it is, Larry.
You must be Stephens.

Well, it's a pleasure to meet
you. Great pleasure indeed.

Well, I'm delighted to meet you,
sir. Well, let's get on it, Arch.

Believe me, it's
a hole in one all the way!

Yes, of course, Larry. What
do you think of it, Stephens?

Well, sir, we believe in the campaign we have
planned for Madame Maruska's new lipstick.

You give us the word, sir,
we'll get the ball rolling.

Good! Very good, Stephens.
I like the way you put that.

[Stephens] Thank you, sir. But I said
that exact same thing to you, Arch.

Don't you remember?
Yesterday at the clubhouse.

Yes, of course, Larry. Now you've got my
curiosity going. Let's see those layouts.

You'll flip, Arch. You know, when
you and I discussed this last week,

I decided then... Yes, yes. I
think I should tell you, Stephens,

that this lipstick is the key
product for our whole new line.

And Madame Maruska herself
is gonna be very much

interested in how
you handle it.

Well, I'm sure if she'll drop by the
office, we'll... What?

Drop by the office!
Did you hear that, Arch?

Stephens doesn't know what
we know about Madame Maruska.

Never makes personal calls,
a recluse in her ivory tower.

I remember you telling me
out on the fairway...

Larry, why don't
you sit down?

We're not out on
the golf course now.

Please go on,
Mr. Stephens.

Uh, well, I... Now, you've
got the ball, kid. Tee off.

Well, sir, as we saw the
problem, it was to introduce

a new product in a new area.

Now, I'm sure if you study
these, sir, you'll get the idea.

Ah! Yeah.
Uh-huh!

And then Mr. Wilkerson insisted
that I be put in charge of

Madame Maruska's account.

Which means, dear
girl, if you care to plan ahead,

you may start packing
for Bermuda immediately.

Oh, Darrin!

Oh, that's wonderful!
I'm so proud of you.

I can't wait to tell Mother.

Why?
Why?

Why? So she can hear
the good news.

Sam, the last thing in the world that your
mother wants to hear is good news about me.

Why are you so anxious to tell her? What
has your mother got to do with this?

Nothing. Besides, at a time like
this, we're certainly not going to let

anything that Mother might say
or do bother us, are we?

What do you mean, "might do
or say"? Did she do something?

What did she do? It has to be
something underhanded, right?

Right. Darrin, you keep asking
and answering your own questions.

I save a lot of time that way.
She did do something, but what?

You want to answer that one? No.

No. It figures it had
something to do with work.

This morning. Wilkerson.

Was that the result of some
of her hocus-pocus?

Bingo!

Well, Darrin, I don't really
know. All Mother said was... Sure!

Sure. That's why he took such a shine to me
and practically ignored his old pal Larry!

She put a spell on him!
Darrin, give yourself credit.

Wilkerson liked you
because he liked your ideas.

Mother didn't have anything
to do with that.

And I thought that Larry was just
overdoing his old golf buddy bit.

But that Endora's doing! Sweetheart,
you're jumping to conclusions.

Maybe I am,
and maybe I'm not.

But as long as there's a
possibility of that possibility,

it ruins the whole deal
for me.

Really, Samantha!

You picked a lemon
in the garden of love.

Mother, you did
influence Darrin's client!

Naturally. But I did it
for you, darling. Oh, for...

If I hadn't, Mr. Wilkerson wouldn't
have given him the time of day.

You should be celebrating. In my
house we celebrate the things I earn!

And I didn't earn anything!

Mother, you had
no right to meddle.

Darrin can get ahead
strictly on his own.

Fat chance.

I can handle this, Sam.
Endora, you wasted your time.

You threw the Madame Maruska
account right into my lap.

I'm throwing it right back out again.
I'm taking myself off the account.

Do you think that once the wheels
are in motion, they can be stopped?

You bet your
sweet broom, I do!

Don't be too sure
about that.

Just don't
be too sure.

After all, Larry, you brought
Wilkerson into the office!

He's your friend,
and I think it's only fair

that you personally handle
the Maruska cosmetics account.

Fair, schmair.
Look at me, Darrin.

Is this the face of a
sensitive man? But, Larry...

Wilkerson wants you. I want that
Maruska account. So what's the problem?

What about your pride?
My what?

Wilkerson likes you better than he likes
me, so I'll cry all the way to the bank.

Mr. Stephens!
She's here!

She is? Who's
"she," Betty?

Madame Maruska!
Unbelievable!

And she wants to see you
personally, Mr. Stephens.

That's great. That's great.
Show her in. Show her in!

Madame Maruska never leaves her
salon, but she's coming to see you.

She must have flipped
over your ideas!

It's fantastic. It
certainly is unbelievable.

Gentlemen. This outfit
is from my spring collection.

Tell me how you
love it. I adore it!

I think it is quite
mad. Quite mad.

Mah-roosh-kah! That is
how you say my name.

Mah-roosh-kah. You try.

Mah-roosh-kah!
Mah-roosh-kah!

Fair. But you will learn.
We'll practice.

As you know, I do not usually
attend business discussions.

So dull. But my Mr. Wilkerson,
he was so impressed.

Tell me. Which one
is Stef fins?

Uh, he is, Maruska.

Mah-roosh-kah!

Uh, Darrin Stef fins.
Stephens.

Stephens, uh,
my assistant.

And I'm Larry Tate.
We're glad you came over.

We can't wait to
get moving... Ah!

That is why
I have come to you.

If this dear man is
to work for my firm,

then he must have a very
responsible position in your firm.

A partner, I should think.

Yes! A partner.

You want Mr. Tate
to make me a partner?

You want me to
make him a partner?

It is my policy never to do
business with a man whose name

is not part of the
name of the company.

Are you suggesting... Precisely.
McMann, Tate and Stef fins.

Stephens.
But Madame Maruska...

Mah-roosh-kah! Madame
Mah-roosh-kah, I hardly think...

I never entrust a new
campaign to an employee.

No, no, no, no.

I want someone with the
authority to make decisions.

I insist upon
that, Mr. Tate.

Then it is
settled, no?

No!
Stef fins!

I'm sure we can work
something out.

Just a minute! If I'm to be made a partner,
that should be Mr. Tate's decision.

He shouldn't be forced into it. I'd
resign before I'd allow that to happen.

Ah, now, I understand you!

If you had had the drive,

it would have been McMann, Tate
and Stef fins a long time ago!

I know your type.
You are afraid of success.

Afraid of success? You know
my type? That's right, Stef fins!

Stephens!
Derwin... Darrin Stephens!

And I'll thank you
to use my correct name!

Derwood is getting
no apologies from me.

Oh, Mother, please stay
until Darrin gets home,

and then sort of
bury the hatchet.

I'd love to.
Where?

How dare you!
You heard me, you phony!

Get out.

Darrin, have you
flipped your wig?

Larry, I know what I'm doing!

This is not Madame Maruska!
She's a fake! Now, get out!

Oh!
Are you Madame Maruska?

The account, Darrin! You just
blew a million-dollar account.

Larry, we haven't lost a
thing. You must be kidding!

She was a complete fake. Darrin,
are you sure? How do you know?

I can't tell you how I know,
but believe me, I know.

But how?
Uh, just a minute.

She was a spy.

You know how unscrupulous
agencies try to steal accounts?

That's what was
happening here.

A spy? Yeah. Well, I'm gonna take
the rest of the afternoon off.

I have something very important
to take care of at home.

Sure, sure.
She was a spy.

She was?

Sure, she was.

Was she?

Samantha?
Samantha!

What's wrong, sweetheart? Wouldn't
Larry let you off the account?

I didn't get a chance
to argue the point with him.

Something a little more
important came up! Like what?

Like...

Her nibs!
Are you referring to me?

I'm not referring
to Maruska!

Samantha...

can you translate that gibberish,
or am I to be left in the dark?

Now, don't try to brazen it out.
She came to my office today

and tried to pass herself off
as Madame Maruska!

Well, I saw through her little
disguise and tossed her out on her ear.

How'd you like
them apples, Endora?

You're sick.

Uh, sweetheart.

Mother wasn't in your office.
She was with me all morning.

Sure, she was! Come
on, Sam, don't alibi for her.

That's no alibi.

She was here
all the time.

[Samantha] Mmm-hmm.
When, all the time?

This morning,
all the time.

Your mother was really
here with you?

Yes, Darrin.
She really was.

You've never lied to me,
have you, Sam?

No, sweetheart.

Not even this one time?

Darrin, Mother was here
with me all morning.

I could forgive a little
lie this one time.

Hello.
Oh, hi, Larry.

But...

Mmm-hmm.

Madame Maruska. I threw
Madame Maruska out of my office,

along with a million-dollar account.
So why shouldn't I be fired?

Oh, Darrin. I certainly can't allow
you to lose that precious little job.

And I'm not gonna sit by and
watch you take the bread out of

my granddaughter's
tiny little mouth.

Now, one simple
incantation... No!

Well, it is my fault, in a way.

No! No witchcraft, nothing.
I'll handle this my way.

If I fall on my head, well, I fall on
my head. But you stay out of my life!

Darrin, can't I do something?

No! No!

But I'm sure she'll see me. I
know I don't have an appointment,

but I've got to see Madame Maruska.
It's a matter of life or death. Mine!

Well, maybe I can
catch her between calls.

All right, you can wait.
But no promises.

Thank you.
Thank you very much.

Maruska think that there
is no more to say!

Madame Maruska,
please let me explain.

Forget it, Stephens.
She's not having any. Larry.

Mr. Stef fins, I am so glad
that you are here also.

Now, I can be rid of both of
you at the same instant!

Well, you have every right to be
angry. I can't explain my actions,

but I am sorry,
and I humbly apologize.

I do not accept
your apology!

Well, then don't! But you're
supposed to be a businesswoman.

At least look at the layouts
on Larry's portfolio.

If you don't like them,
I'll leave without being told.

But, uh, don't dismiss my company
just because I made a little mistake.

Very well, Mr. Stef fins.

I won't have it said that Madame
Maruska made a business decision

based on personal reactions.

Hmm.

Hmm! "Don't play fair.

Use Madame Maruska's
Lipstick."

Isn't that something?
I hate it!

Goodbye, peasants!

Nothing personal, Darrin,
but I think I'll have you shot.

Oh, Larry, please!
Let's talk! Uh...

Let me buy you a drink. All
right, Stephens. One drink.

But don't talk to me.
I'm liable to lose control.

It was all sewed up.

You had to get that crazy idea
Madame Maruska was a fake.

The whole sweet deal...

Larry, for the last two hours
you've been going on and on and on.

Why did you do it, Darrin?
Why did I do it?

The whole smear. Why?

I can't tell you.
You can tell me.

No, I can't.
You can tell me.

Okay.

I thought my mother-in-law turned herself
into Madame Maruska to foul me up.

So I threw her out.
Can't tell me, huh?

Right.

Look at that. Isn't
that a great layout?

"Don't play fair.
Use Madame Maruska Lipstick."

Best thing I ever did.

Yeah. Great.

Bartender!
Yes, sir?

May I?
Hey, that's my paper.

That's my layout! Somebody
stole it, line for line!

Let's get back to the office and
check the newspaper listings.

We'll find out who did this. We'll find out
who's guilty, and he's gonna pay, boy, pay!

- Gimme my paper.
- [Larry] We'll fix that dirty crook!

Darrin, you're
that dirty crook!

I didn't do it. I don't remember
signing these authorizations.

Well, I don't remember typing them,
Mr. Stephens, but there they are!

Authorizations for newspapers,
posters, leaflets, billboards.

Billboards too? You authorized this
agency to pay for all that promotion,

and we don't even have
the account?

Do you know how much this
is going to cost us? Do you?

Stephens! Come
back here! Stephens!

[Samantha] Darrin,
please try to understand.

Witchcraft is what got you into this
mess, and witchcraft can get you out.

Sam, it's no use. I'm going
to spend the night at the club.

You don't belong to a club.
I'll join one.

Darrin, now listen. I placed your
ads. Your ads! They were wonderful.

Madame Maruska was wrong
and you were right.

Sam, I know you meant well.
You always mean well!

I'm almost used to
your mother's meddling.

After all, she's supposed to be a
colossal pain. She's a mother-in-law!

But when you start doing it,
well, that's just too much.

It is just too, too much.

Darrin.
Goodbye, Sam.

You son of a gun!
You old son of a gun!

You're wearing two coats.
I know. You want to tell me

how much money
I cost the company.

Well, don't worry about it. I'll
see you get every penny back!

Wait a minute!
Wait a minute.

Will you listen to him Sam?
The guts of a riverboat gambler,

and he's worried about
a few measly thousand.

Larry, what happened?

What happened?
You wheeler dealer.

Placed Madame Maruska's ads in the paper
even though we didn't have a contract.

And it paid off.

It paid off?
Mr. Innocent, huh?

Why, an hour after those ads hit
the paper, every chain store in town

was on the phone to Madame Maruska,
doubling their lipstick orders.

"Don't play fair.

"Use Madame Maruska's
Lipstick." It's sheer genius!

The ads worked. Worked? Why, I'm on
my way over to her salon right now

with the contracts
for a complete line.

And you did it, fella.
You really did it.

Two coats, huh?
Maybe I'll try that.

The ads worked. She
signed up the entire line.

Sweetheart, it was
your ads that did it.

I just placed them. Any
office boy could've done that.

Sam, it was still
witchcraft. You did it.

I could've been that office boy if I'd
had as much faith in my work as you did.

It doesn't matter. Even if I should've done
it, you did it, and you shouldn't have done it.

Even if I
should've done it.

That doesn't
make any sense.

I know it doesn't.

I just want you to forgive me,
and I don't know how to ask.

You don't have to ask.

That's what I call success.

I'm beat.

Good night, sweetheart.
Good night, sweetheart.

Oh, darn.

It's going to be chilly, and I left
Tabatha's comforter downstairs.

Oh, hold it. Don't run
up and down the stairs.

Oh, thank you, sweetheart.
That's very nice of you.

Well, I'm not going
to do it.

You know...

Why, Darrin, I'm shocked.

You said... In this case
I'll make an exception.

At least until I can afford
an upstairs maid.

Thank you.

All done.

Oops. My turn.

Darrin!
How did you do that?

I pulled the plug.

Oh.