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1
00:00:00,834 --> 00:00:04,003
The baby-sitter said 10:00, Louise,
but she's usually a little late,
2
00:00:04,046 --> 00:00:05,839
so why don't we
make it 10:30?
3
00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:07,799
[Darrin] Sam, where's
my houndstooth sport coat?
4
00:00:07,841 --> 00:00:10,302
Oh, yeah. Sure.
Fine, I'll tell him.
5
00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:12,095
Uh-huh. See you later.
My houndstooth sport coat...
6
00:00:12,137 --> 00:00:13,889
Louise and I are going
shopping this morning.
7
00:00:13,931 --> 00:00:15,599
Well, fine. Honey,
where's my houndstooth...
8
00:00:15,641 --> 00:00:18,060
Larry's car broke down, so she's
gonna drop him at the office
9
00:00:18,101 --> 00:00:20,312
and pick me up
on the way back.
10
00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:22,481
Sweetheart, I'm late for work, and I
haven't got time to listen to an itinerary
11
00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:23,774
of where you
and Louise are going.
12
00:00:23,815 --> 00:00:26,360
Now, have you seen
my houndstooth sport coat?
13
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:28,153
Which one is that?
14
00:00:28,195 --> 00:00:31,365
The tweedy one.
With black and orange checks?
15
00:00:32,406 --> 00:00:35,661
The one you hate?
Oh, that one.
16
00:00:35,661 --> 00:00:37,412
Well, you don't
wear that anymore.
17
00:00:37,412 --> 00:00:39,331
I'm wearing it today,
but I can't find it.
18
00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:43,001
To the office? Don't you
think it's a little... Noisy?
19
00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:44,670
Sam, this may come
as a surprise to you,
20
00:00:44,670 --> 00:00:47,381
but I've been choosing my own
clothes for quite some time now.
21
00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:49,925
Why don't you wear the
brown one? It's much nicer.
22
00:00:49,967 --> 00:00:52,511
Because I want to wear the
houndstooth and I can't find it!
23
00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:54,221
Now, have you
seen it or not?
24
00:00:55,597 --> 00:00:57,015
You're shouting.
25
00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:59,851
Do you
know where it is or not?
26
00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:02,729
Um...
27
00:01:02,771 --> 00:01:05,607
I, uh, gave it away.
28
00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:10,112
You gave it away?
29
00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:12,864
Well, I, uh...
30
00:01:12,864 --> 00:01:14,950
I was cleaning out
your closets
31
00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:17,911
and I just gave away
everything you don't wear.
32
00:01:18,662 --> 00:01:21,581
You gave it away.
33
00:01:21,581 --> 00:01:23,250
Darrin, stop saying
"you gave it away"
34
00:01:23,292 --> 00:01:25,043
like I just sold
your mother into slavery.
35
00:01:25,084 --> 00:01:27,045
That coat must have been
10 years old.
36
00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:29,047
Fifteen!
That's just the point!
37
00:01:29,131 --> 00:01:31,049
It has tradition
and character.
38
00:01:31,133 --> 00:01:35,053
And patches on the sleeves and moth
holes and a tear in the pocket.
39
00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:37,764
Who'd you give it to?
The thrift shop.
40
00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:40,017
Maybe they still have it.
41
00:01:40,017 --> 00:01:41,852
Darrin,
that was a month ago.
42
00:01:43,186 --> 00:01:45,981
Darrin, don't you think
you ought to put on a coat?
43
00:01:46,023 --> 00:01:47,441
You're not wearing one.
44
00:01:53,363 --> 00:01:55,449
Thank you.
Hereafter, however,
45
00:01:55,490 --> 00:01:57,993
I would appreciate it if
you didn't touch my clothes.
46
00:02:09,338 --> 00:02:11,882
Oh! Oh!
47
00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:05,394
I know I shouldn't have
lost my temper.
48
00:03:05,394 --> 00:03:08,438
But to give away my
houndstooth sport coat...
49
00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:10,148
How could she
do such a thing?
50
00:03:10,232 --> 00:03:13,193
Take it easy, Darrin. Relax
and start from the beginning.
51
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:14,861
Why don't you
have a seat?
52
00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:18,031
No, no, not there.
On the couch.
53
00:03:20,242 --> 00:03:22,494
It's easier to talk
when you're reclining.
54
00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:26,248
Where did you do
your residency, doctor?
55
00:03:26,248 --> 00:03:29,668
Now, look, buddy boy, let's
not try to get funny, hmm?
56
00:03:29,668 --> 00:03:31,044
It just so happens I have
57
00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:33,547
much more experience in
these matters than you have.
58
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:35,173
Firstly,
I've been married longer.
59
00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:37,175
And secondly, Louise and I
have been seeing
60
00:03:37,175 --> 00:03:39,386
a psychiatrist
for several months.
61
00:03:39,386 --> 00:03:43,181
Psychiatrist. So that's how you
come by your couch-side manner.
62
00:03:43,181 --> 00:03:45,183
Oh, come on, Darrin,
this is serious.
63
00:03:45,183 --> 00:03:47,185
Dr. Kramer's changed
our lives.
64
00:03:47,185 --> 00:03:50,564
And he specializes in
exactly your problem.
65
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:54,860
I don't have any problem. I just
don't have a houndstooth sport coat.
66
00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:56,778
The coat isn't important.
67
00:03:56,820 --> 00:03:58,572
Not important?
That was my favorite coat.
68
00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:01,700
What matters is that it caused
you and Sam to have a fight.
69
00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:07,205
Now, Dr. Kramer's specialty is
teaching married couples how to fight.
70
00:04:07,205 --> 00:04:10,417
According to Dr. Kramer's theory,
there are three kinds of fights:
71
00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:14,546
the amphigoric, the semi-amphigoric,
and the centripedal.
72
00:04:14,546 --> 00:04:17,758
That's a great system, Larry.
It'd be impossible to fight
73
00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:19,926
because nobody knows
what the words mean.
74
00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:21,636
It's really
very simple, Darrin.
75
00:04:21,636 --> 00:04:25,515
The amphigoric fight is, well,
silly and irrational.
76
00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:28,935
And, according to Dr. Kramer,
should be avoided entirely.
77
00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:30,937
The semiamphigoric,
78
00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:33,440
well, is your everyday,
garden-variety fight,
79
00:04:33,482 --> 00:04:36,777
which on deeper analysis,
can be revealed to be either
80
00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:40,488
amphigoric proper
or centripedal.
81
00:04:40,529 --> 00:04:42,783
That is significant.
82
00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:46,077
If it falls into the first type,
it should be stopped immediately.
83
00:04:46,077 --> 00:04:49,581
But if it should turn out
to be centripedal,
84
00:04:50,832 --> 00:04:53,502
it should be fought through
to a conclusion.
85
00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:57,172
What type is my
houndstooth sport coat?
86
00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:01,009
To you, it was just...
87
00:05:01,051 --> 00:05:03,386
Just an ugly old coat, right?
88
00:05:03,386 --> 00:05:04,262
Right.
89
00:05:04,262 --> 00:05:05,972
Well, what we have to
determine
90
00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:09,851
is what did that houndstooth
sport jacket represent to Darrin?
91
00:05:09,851 --> 00:05:11,144
Bad taste?
92
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:14,564
Too simple!
According to Dr. Kramer,
93
00:05:14,564 --> 00:05:18,068
the way a husband and wife feels
about how his spouse dresses,
94
00:05:18,068 --> 00:05:21,196
shows the condition
of the entire relationship.
95
00:05:21,196 --> 00:05:25,158
How does Darrin like to
see you dress?
96
00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:27,994
Oh, bright colors,
chic lines.
97
00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:29,913
Good. Good,
good, good.
98
00:05:29,913 --> 00:05:34,501
That means he still thinks
of you romantically as a lover.
99
00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:36,545
Well, I hope so.
100
00:05:36,545 --> 00:05:38,922
Because if he liked for
you to wear drab clothes...
101
00:05:38,922 --> 00:05:41,508
You know, dull colors
and those sensible shoes.
102
00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:45,678
Well, that would mean he was just
beginning to take you for granted.
103
00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:47,889
That sounds logical.
104
00:05:47,931 --> 00:05:50,141
But what about
the houndstooth jacket?
105
00:05:50,141 --> 00:05:52,185
Now, why was I wrong
to get rid of it?
106
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:55,230
Oh, now, that's
the other side of the coin.
107
00:05:55,272 --> 00:05:59,025
To Darrin, that jacket
must have represented
108
00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:02,070
his desire to be attractive
and alluring to you.
109
00:06:02,112 --> 00:06:07,534
And by giving it away, why, you indicated
you were just taking him for granted.
110
00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:09,494
Oh!
111
00:06:09,494 --> 00:06:11,329
Oh, Dr. Kramer doesn't
help you solve problems.
112
00:06:11,413 --> 00:06:13,540
He just shows you
how to analyze them.
113
00:06:13,582 --> 00:06:17,752
For example, how does Sam
like you to dress?
114
00:06:17,752 --> 00:06:19,337
Well, conservative clothes...
115
00:06:19,421 --> 00:06:21,798
Dark suits,
quiet colors.
116
00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:23,592
Exactly. Married clothes.
117
00:06:23,592 --> 00:06:27,553
And you come along with a sport
coat with black and orange checks.
118
00:06:33,851 --> 00:06:37,898
Now, if she really liked that
coat, you'd be in real trouble.
119
00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:40,567
Yeah. Why?
120
00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:44,821
Because it would indicate that she's not
completely satisfied with married life.
121
00:06:44,863 --> 00:06:49,075
That she yearns to be gay,
single and carefree herself.
122
00:06:49,492 --> 00:06:51,244
You see?
123
00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:54,372
Your argument turned out
to be amphigoric after all.
124
00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:58,460
She was just showing you how much she
loved you by giving away that coat.
125
00:06:58,501 --> 00:07:02,005
Larry, I have to admit that Dr. Kramer
seems to really know his stuff.
126
00:07:02,005 --> 00:07:05,383
You know what I'm gonna do? I'm going
to go out and buy a present at lunch
127
00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:07,594
to show Sam
how wrong I was.
128
00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:08,720
Good idea.
129
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:12,098
You're showing great
psychological insight.
130
00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:15,226
But remember, Darrin,
when you buy Sam that gift,
131
00:07:15,226 --> 00:07:17,687
a husband's present
to his wife
132
00:07:17,687 --> 00:07:21,107
expresses exactly
how he feels about her.
133
00:07:23,026 --> 00:07:26,279
I don't know why I let you talk me
out of going back to the thrift shop
134
00:07:26,321 --> 00:07:27,781
to get Darrin's old coat.
135
00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:29,783
That's the one he loves, and
that's the one he should have.
136
00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:32,410
Oh, Samantha, will you forget
it? They'd never still have it,
137
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:35,413
and even if they do, we
want something new. We do?
138
00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:39,042
Uh, perhaps something in a Shetland.
They're very good this year.
139
00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:41,294
No, I'm sorry.
140
00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:43,964
Old or new,
it has to be houndstooth.
141
00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:46,257
With black
and orange checks.
142
00:07:46,257 --> 00:07:48,301
Well, if I may be
permitted, madam,
143
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:51,554
we haven't carried
houndstooth for many years.
144
00:07:51,554 --> 00:07:55,141
Today's gentleman has grown
a bit more, uh, sophisticated.
145
00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:58,436
This is for
yesterday's gentleman.
146
00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:03,191
Perhaps if you tried
a costume shop.
147
00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:05,944
Oh, no.
148
00:08:05,944 --> 00:08:09,406
The baron usually gets his
clothes tailored at the chateau.
149
00:08:09,406 --> 00:08:12,575
But being so far
from home, well...
150
00:08:12,575 --> 00:08:13,827
Come, come, Louise.
151
00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:19,541
Well, I guess I'd better go put some
more pennies in the parking meter.
152
00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:27,549
You sure this is it?
153
00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:30,010
Oh, yes.
I remember it quite well.
154
00:08:30,051 --> 00:08:32,136
We dyed it as soon
as it came in.
155
00:08:32,136 --> 00:08:33,722
Why did you dye it?
156
00:08:33,722 --> 00:08:35,849
Well, if you're buying
secondhand clothes,
157
00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:39,227
you don't want to stand out
in a crowd like a neon light.
158
00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:42,480
Oh, all right. I'll
take it. How much?
159
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:44,315
Well, it was your coat
to begin with.
160
00:08:44,315 --> 00:08:48,528
But for the repairs
and the dye, $5.
161
00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:50,864
Is that all?
162
00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:53,783
Believe me, it's more than
we ever expected to get.
163
00:08:53,783 --> 00:08:55,452
Thank you.
Thank you.
164
00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:04,461
Yuck!
165
00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:11,718
This is ever so chic.
Sophia Loren wears one.
166
00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:14,261
Very much like it
in her latest picture.
167
00:09:14,261 --> 00:09:16,139
Was she married or single
in the picture?
168
00:09:16,181 --> 00:09:19,893
When she wore it she was single,
but she got married right after.
169
00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:22,771
Let me show it to you in
hot pink. It's a knockout.
170
00:09:30,028 --> 00:09:32,905
[Larry] Just remember, Darrin,
when you buy that gift for Sam,
171
00:09:32,905 --> 00:09:35,992
a husband's present
to his wife expresses exactly
172
00:09:35,992 --> 00:09:38,119
what he feels about her.
173
00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:39,828
But be careful.
In Sam's mind,
174
00:09:39,871 --> 00:09:43,792
sensible, conservative clothes
equal happiness and security.
175
00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:46,461
Frilly clothes and exotic
colors equal jealousy
176
00:09:46,503 --> 00:09:49,089
and dissatisfaction
with married life.
177
00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:51,174
Remember
the houndstooth sport coat.
178
00:09:55,470 --> 00:09:57,764
You see, in hot pink,
it absolutely exudes
179
00:09:57,764 --> 00:10:00,725
romance, gaiety, mystery.
180
00:10:00,725 --> 00:10:04,312
Have you got anything that exudes
a little less gaiety and mystery
181
00:10:04,312 --> 00:10:07,649
and a little more
security and contentment?
182
00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:11,444
But, sir, you asked to see
negligees, not flannel pajamas.
183
00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:13,780
Maybe a bathrobe
instead of a negligee.
184
00:10:13,822 --> 00:10:15,280
Something comfortable.
185
00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:25,375
Something like this,
perhaps?
186
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:30,672
Well, uh, would you say that
was a married woman's robe?
187
00:10:30,672 --> 00:10:35,135
Oh, yes. Definitely
married. With children.
188
00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:36,845
Perfect! Wrap it up.
189
00:10:38,011 --> 00:10:41,808
Sam, about this morning,
I wanted you to know that...
190
00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:45,352
Well, I, uh, I brought
you a little present.
191
00:10:45,352 --> 00:10:46,980
Oh, isn't that
a coincidence?
192
00:10:47,021 --> 00:10:49,982
It just so happens I got a
little something for you, too.
193
00:10:49,982 --> 00:10:52,610
Oh, you shouldn't have
done that. It was my fault.
194
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:55,488
Oh, now, shh.
Just open it. Okay.
195
00:10:55,530 --> 00:10:58,241
Oh, I love to get
presents. So do I.
196
00:11:06,457 --> 00:11:08,626
My houndstooth
sport jacket.
197
00:11:09,294 --> 00:11:11,504
Oh, Darrin! It's...
198
00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:13,715
Lovely.
199
00:11:17,135 --> 00:11:19,636
It was, um,
very considerate of you
200
00:11:19,721 --> 00:11:23,016
to get this for me when I
know how much you hate it.
201
00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:25,226
Oh, I don't hate it.
I love it.
202
00:11:25,226 --> 00:11:26,852
I just thought I hated it.
203
00:11:26,852 --> 00:11:30,398
Now I know it's just the kind
of thing I want you to wear.
204
00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:35,278
Um, aren't you gonna
try on your robe?
205
00:11:35,653 --> 00:11:37,447
No.
206
00:11:37,447 --> 00:11:40,283
No, I think I'll wait
a couple of decades.
207
00:11:40,283 --> 00:11:43,535
But, sweetheart, I went to a great
deal of trouble to find a present
208
00:11:43,535 --> 00:11:47,290
that would express exactly
how I feel about our marriage.
209
00:11:47,332 --> 00:11:49,792
And you bought me
a prison gown!
210
00:11:50,752 --> 00:11:52,795
Oh!
211
00:11:52,795 --> 00:11:56,674
And what does this express? I'll
tell you what this expresses!
212
00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,843
It expresses a woman who
is disappointed in married life,
213
00:11:58,843 --> 00:12:02,554
a woman who wishes she was
gay, carefree and single again!
214
00:12:02,554 --> 00:12:04,224
Darrin,
I'll have you know
215
00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:07,644
that I spent almost the whole
day looking for a coat like that.
216
00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:09,938
Then I went back to the
thrift shop. Well, they dyed it,
217
00:12:09,938 --> 00:12:12,899
and I had to twitch it back because
I knew how much you wanted it.
218
00:12:12,941 --> 00:12:15,902
You twitched it back!
That's more proof!
219
00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:17,153
More proof of what?
220
00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:18,404
That you wish you
were single again.
221
00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:19,864
That's ridiculous.
222
00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:22,700
I thought you honestly wished
to give up witchcraft.
223
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:25,662
I really did. I thought you
wanted to be a normal housewife.
224
00:12:25,662 --> 00:12:27,914
Well, this shows me
how wrong I was.
225
00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:32,961
You really wish that you were a single,
carefree, full-time witch again!
226
00:12:33,002 --> 00:12:37,173
Well, I'd rather be
a witch than a convict.
227
00:12:37,173 --> 00:12:40,593
Well, that settles it.
228
00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:42,720
There's nothing more
to discuss.
229
00:12:42,761 --> 00:12:43,888
Darrin?
230
00:12:45,682 --> 00:12:48,101
Don't you dare
walk out on me!
231
00:12:57,902 --> 00:13:01,489
You see? You see? Every time you
have a problem that you can't handle,
232
00:13:01,530 --> 00:13:03,574
you get excited,
you resort to witchcraft.
233
00:13:03,574 --> 00:13:05,868
Well, you know what
that means psychologically.
234
00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:08,496
Well, there's nothing I can
do about it, so just go ahead.
235
00:13:08,496 --> 00:13:10,331
I am only human.
236
00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:26,639
Don't twitch.
237
00:13:26,681 --> 00:13:29,517
Don't twitch!
No, don't twitch!
238
00:13:31,184 --> 00:13:32,477
Darrin?
239
00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:34,314
Please don't twitch.
240
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:36,774
Darrin!
No! No! Wait!
241
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:40,028
It's okay, old buddy.
I'm not twitching.
242
00:13:40,028 --> 00:13:42,780
Oh, uh, hi, Larry.
243
00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:44,782
You been here all
night?
244
00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:48,535
Oh, was I wrong.
Was I ever wrong!
245
00:13:48,535 --> 00:13:50,455
Sam and I had one of the
worst fights we ever had.
246
00:13:50,455 --> 00:13:55,668
Wow. You two certainly aren't ready
to handle a centripedal kind of fight.
247
00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:58,796
Darrin, you need
expert advice.
248
00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:01,006
Oh, Larry...
Uh, no, Larry.
249
00:14:01,006 --> 00:14:03,009
As of now, the
doctor-patient relationship
250
00:14:03,051 --> 00:14:05,219
between you and me
is definitely over.
251
00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:07,013
Well, not me. Dr. Kramer.
252
00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:10,183
Let me call him and arrange
for you and Sam to see him.
253
00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:12,727
She'd never agree, Larry.
She won't even talk to me,
254
00:14:12,727 --> 00:14:14,354
much less a psychiatrist.
255
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:15,813
Well, okay.
I'll tell you what.
256
00:14:15,813 --> 00:14:17,648
I'll have him come over here
and pick you up.
257
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:20,485
Then you can both go over
to your place and see Sam.
258
00:14:20,485 --> 00:14:22,362
A doctor who makes
house calls?
259
00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:24,739
He sounds a little
old-fashioned to me.
260
00:14:24,781 --> 00:14:26,616
Don't worry. You'll
love him. He's a wizard.
261
00:14:26,616 --> 00:14:30,495
Wizards I don't need.
262
00:14:30,495 --> 00:14:32,622
He bought you this?
263
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:37,126
Oh! It's just like Duncan.
264
00:14:37,126 --> 00:14:39,796
You get Tabatha ready,
and I'll pack your things.
265
00:14:39,796 --> 00:14:42,590
You certainly are not going to
stay one minute longer in a house
266
00:14:42,632 --> 00:14:45,551
with a man who bought that
as a present for his wife.
267
00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:49,847
Mother, I'm not leaving just because
we had a fight, so you can forget it.
268
00:14:49,931 --> 00:14:52,141
Think I ought to call him
at the office and apologize?
269
00:14:52,141 --> 00:14:56,646
Certainly not! Not even
mortal housewives do that.
270
00:14:57,563 --> 00:15:01,275
Louise! Louise Tate!
271
00:15:01,275 --> 00:15:03,903
I'm gonna call Louise and get
the name of that psychiatrist.
272
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:06,948
He's the one that started the
whole thing in the first place.
273
00:15:06,948 --> 00:15:08,825
Psychiatrist?
274
00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:11,661
Oh, Samantha, you wouldn't!
275
00:15:11,702 --> 00:15:13,579
They're anti-witch!
276
00:15:13,621 --> 00:15:16,416
What's so special about
that? So's everybody.
277
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:18,084
Yes, but they work at it.
278
00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:21,254
They think we're figments
of people's imagination.
279
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:22,713
[Tabatha] Mommy.
280
00:15:22,713 --> 00:15:24,298
Oh, dear.
There's Tabatha.
281
00:15:24,340 --> 00:15:26,926
Would you see if she's all right
while I make the phone call?
282
00:15:30,471 --> 00:15:32,890
Yes, hello, darling.
283
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:36,269
How's Grandmamma's
little witch let, huh?
284
00:15:36,310 --> 00:15:40,773
I'll wager you're hungry. Grandmamma's
going to get you a bottle.
285
00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:45,236
There.
Use your own power, Tabatha.
286
00:15:45,236 --> 00:15:47,113
Mama isn't here.
287
00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:51,909
There! That's a girl!
288
00:15:51,993 --> 00:15:53,995
That's a girl!
289
00:15:53,995 --> 00:15:55,997
Oh, you were hungry.
290
00:15:57,081 --> 00:15:59,750
Oh, a psychiatrist!
291
00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:02,086
My own daughter!
292
00:16:02,670 --> 00:16:05,631
Where did I go wrong?
293
00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:09,635
Well, I always say, if you need
a professional, get the best.
294
00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:16,684
Libido, Superego, id,
295
00:16:16,684 --> 00:16:20,313
do for me
just what I bid.
296
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:22,607
Dr. Freud, I presume.
297
00:16:23,232 --> 00:16:24,942
How do you do?
298
00:16:24,942 --> 00:16:28,821
Won't you please
step into my off...
299
00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:35,953
Madame, these surroundings
are unfamiliar to me.
300
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:40,249
Can you please tell me
where I am and how I got here?
301
00:16:40,291 --> 00:16:43,878
For your own peace of mind,
Dr. Freud, don't try to analyze it.
302
00:16:43,878 --> 00:16:46,839
But this is not my office.
303
00:16:46,881 --> 00:16:50,885
And I am not your patient.
It's my daughter.
304
00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:54,680
Ah. Little girl.
305
00:16:57,433 --> 00:16:59,101
Madame,
you are very wise.
306
00:16:59,101 --> 00:17:03,064
For the first time, someone
has called me in time.
307
00:17:03,064 --> 00:17:07,944
This is my granddaughter.
My daughter is downstairs.
308
00:17:08,653 --> 00:17:10,196
Follow me.
309
00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:17,744
Samantha, you can forget
about that quack.
310
00:17:18,496 --> 00:17:20,705
I have the real McCoy.
311
00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:27,463
Do I have to lie down?
I feel silly.
312
00:17:27,463 --> 00:17:31,008
Well, it's customary, but if you
prefer, you may remain upright.
313
00:17:31,092 --> 00:17:32,343
Oh, thank you.
314
00:17:32,343 --> 00:17:35,012
Quit stalling, Samantha.
Tell Dr. Freud your problem.
315
00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:38,182
Madam, if you interfere, I
shall have to ask you to leave.
316
00:17:38,182 --> 00:17:40,268
Your daughter will talk
when she's ready.
317
00:17:43,813 --> 00:17:46,983
Well, I'm a witch.
318
00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:53,906
Mmm-hmm. Go on.
319
00:17:54,782 --> 00:17:56,242
Don't you think
that's strange?
320
00:17:57,326 --> 00:17:58,703
Do you?
321
00:17:58,703 --> 00:18:02,039
No. That's because
I am one.
322
00:18:02,039 --> 00:18:04,417
How long have you been
a witch?
323
00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:06,042
Ever since I was born.
324
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:09,630
I didn't know about it until I
was a year old. Right, mother?
325
00:18:09,672 --> 00:18:12,425
Nine months.
You were very precocious.
326
00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:16,387
But that's not
my problem.
327
00:18:16,387 --> 00:18:19,432
You think you are a witch, but
that is not your problem, huh?
328
00:18:20,683 --> 00:18:22,268
No, it's my husband.
329
00:18:23,894 --> 00:18:25,061
Is he a witch, too?
330
00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:27,732
No, he's a mortal,
like everyone else.
331
00:18:27,732 --> 00:18:29,442
That's his problem.
332
00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:31,027
Please.
333
00:18:31,027 --> 00:18:34,363
You see, it all started when
Darrin... That's my husband,
334
00:18:34,363 --> 00:18:37,325
got mad because I gave away
his favorite sport jacket.
335
00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:39,785
That one.
336
00:18:42,872 --> 00:18:45,458
That is your husband's
favorite sport coat?
337
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:46,834
Unbelievable, isn't it?
338
00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:49,378
A friend of mine told me
that that jacket
339
00:18:49,420 --> 00:18:54,050
represented Darrin's desire to
be attractive and alluring to me,
340
00:18:54,090 --> 00:18:56,135
and that I shouldn't
have given it away.
341
00:18:56,886 --> 00:18:59,055
Anyone who finds
that jacket
342
00:18:59,055 --> 00:19:00,931
attractive and alluring
to anyone
343
00:19:00,931 --> 00:19:05,061
is showing symptoms of
a severely disorganized mind.
344
00:19:05,102 --> 00:19:08,064
Well, if it doesn't mean that,
what does it represent?
345
00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:11,609
Bad taste.
346
00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:13,819
I'll go with that.
347
00:19:13,861 --> 00:19:18,282
Madam, if your daughter wishes to
tell me why she thinks she is a witch,
348
00:19:18,282 --> 00:19:20,951
then we will have to
go into her dreams,
349
00:19:20,951 --> 00:19:23,119
her childhood frustrations,
350
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:25,873
her relations
with her mother.
351
00:19:25,873 --> 00:19:27,458
Mother's a witch, too.
352
00:19:29,627 --> 00:19:32,213
Yeah. Well...
353
00:19:33,798 --> 00:19:36,217
That would be
significant.
354
00:19:36,217 --> 00:19:39,136
Because it's not
a psychological problem.
355
00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:43,057
Witch or not, you appear
to be a sensible woman.
356
00:19:43,057 --> 00:19:45,017
Sensible women do not
fight with their husbands
357
00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:49,021
because the husband is partial
to disagreeable sport coats.
358
00:19:49,897 --> 00:19:51,523
That is silly.
359
00:19:51,523 --> 00:19:55,778
In the future, when you fight,
fight about important things.
360
00:19:55,778 --> 00:19:58,155
Then you will not have to
call upon me.
361
00:19:58,196 --> 00:20:00,366
You sure you're
a psychiatrist?
362
00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:02,952
You'll receive my bill
in a few days.
363
00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:05,204
He's a psychiatrist.
364
00:20:07,455 --> 00:20:09,041
Uh, Darrin!
365
00:20:10,334 --> 00:20:12,002
Where have you been?
366
00:20:12,002 --> 00:20:15,172
Uh, Sam, this is
Dr. Matthew Kramer.
367
00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:17,174
I thought that
he might help us.
368
00:20:17,174 --> 00:20:19,301
How do you do?
Mrs. Stephens.
369
00:20:20,261 --> 00:20:21,554
Is that yours?
370
00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:23,138
Yes, it is, but, uh...
371
00:20:23,180 --> 00:20:25,850
Why, it's beautiful!
Where did you get it?
372
00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:29,936
I've been looking for a houndstooth
sport jacket like this for years!
373
00:20:29,936 --> 00:20:33,898
You see, it is not necessarily
a psychiatric symptom.
374
00:20:33,941 --> 00:20:36,902
There are many people
with bad taste.
375
00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:38,863
Bad taste?
376
00:20:38,863 --> 00:20:41,198
This is a classic
sport jacket, and I...
377
00:20:42,032 --> 00:20:43,951
I don't believe
I've met you.
378
00:20:43,993 --> 00:20:45,536
My name is
Dr. Sigmund...
379
00:20:45,536 --> 00:20:48,414
Sigmund!
Dr. Sigmund.
380
00:20:48,414 --> 00:20:50,499
Well, Dr. Sigmund,
381
00:20:50,541 --> 00:20:54,295
what right do you have to
suggest that I have bad taste?
382
00:20:54,295 --> 00:20:57,548
I did not suggest.
I merely stated a fact.
383
00:20:57,548 --> 00:21:01,343
That is the ugliest
sport coat I've ever seen.
384
00:21:01,343 --> 00:21:04,555
And in addition, doctor,
you broke in on my patient.
385
00:21:05,723 --> 00:21:07,224
Broke in on your...
386
00:21:08,184 --> 00:21:09,810
Mr. Stephens,
why didn't you tell me that
387
00:21:09,852 --> 00:21:11,479
you had consulted
another doctor?
388
00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:14,356
I, uh...
I didn't know.
389
00:21:14,356 --> 00:21:17,859
Is this what you call
professional ethics?
390
00:21:17,902 --> 00:21:21,113
Don't you lecture me
on professional ethics!
391
00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:25,409
I'll have you know that I've been a
practicing psychiatrist for a good many years.
392
00:21:25,451 --> 00:21:28,704
Oh, yes, doctor?
Well, I was a psychiatrist
393
00:21:28,704 --> 00:21:31,080
before there were
psychiatrists!
394
00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:34,417
I'll bet you were.
Phony accent and all!
395
00:21:34,417 --> 00:21:36,253
This looks like it's
going to be interesting.
396
00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:40,090
How dare you insult my
accent, you... You upstart!
397
00:21:40,132 --> 00:21:42,968
Doctors, please,
please!
398
00:21:43,010 --> 00:21:46,263
Dr. Sigmund, I want
to tell you something.
399
00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:48,516
Guys like you
give me a pain,
400
00:21:48,516 --> 00:21:52,144
with your beards
and your old-world manners.
401
00:21:52,144 --> 00:21:54,814
I think you've all got
father fixations.
402
00:21:54,814 --> 00:21:57,107
Father fixations?
Yes!
403
00:21:57,107 --> 00:21:58,818
You take that back!
You make me!
404
00:21:58,818 --> 00:22:01,612
Oh, now, doctors,
this is just a-a silly...
405
00:22:01,612 --> 00:22:04,698
Uh, a-amphigoric
argument.
406
00:22:04,740 --> 00:22:06,032
You're not really
going to fight?
407
00:22:06,032 --> 00:22:07,743
[Dr. Kramer] A-ha!
408
00:22:07,743 --> 00:22:08,994
Hold these.
409
00:22:08,994 --> 00:22:10,830
There isn't supposed
to be any violence.
410
00:22:10,871 --> 00:22:12,705
You're supposed to watch out for
each other's vulnerable areas.
411
00:22:12,705 --> 00:22:16,167
I'll watch out for it! I think
this guy's got a glass jaw!
412
00:22:16,210 --> 00:22:18,170
Sam, do something.
Well, what can I do?
413
00:22:18,212 --> 00:22:21,006
You might consider moving
the furniture, darling.
414
00:22:21,006 --> 00:22:23,133
Quick, before they hurt
each other! You mean it?
415
00:22:23,133 --> 00:22:25,177
I'll father fixation you.
416
00:22:25,177 --> 00:22:27,638
It's guys like you who give
the rest of us a bad name!
417
00:22:27,638 --> 00:22:30,683
Don't argue with me, honey!
Do it! All right, all right.
418
00:22:30,683 --> 00:22:32,518
Mother, I'll take
the big one.
419
00:22:32,518 --> 00:22:34,311
[Darrin] Don't forget
to make him forget.
420
00:22:37,731 --> 00:22:39,066
Where did he go?
421
00:22:39,066 --> 00:22:40,401
Sorry, doctor.
422
00:22:42,194 --> 00:22:44,196
Back to the unconscious.
423
00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:50,786
Sam, I have to apologize.
Darrin, I really feel so bad.
424
00:22:50,786 --> 00:22:54,748
Oh, if you're going to kiss
and make up, I'm going to leave.
425
00:22:54,790 --> 00:22:56,333
It's nauseating.
426
00:22:59,795 --> 00:23:01,839
Darrin?
What?
427
00:23:01,881 --> 00:23:04,258
I have an idea.
What?
428
00:23:06,552 --> 00:23:08,262
Let's kiss and make up.
429
00:23:11,974 --> 00:23:13,517
Say, how did he get...
430
00:23:21,734 --> 00:23:24,153
Darrin?
Yeah?
431
00:23:24,612 --> 00:23:25,946
Close your eyes.
432
00:23:26,906 --> 00:23:29,742
What for?
Go on. Close 'em.
433
00:23:29,742 --> 00:23:32,077
Okay.
434
00:23:32,744 --> 00:23:33,829
Closed?
435
00:23:33,871 --> 00:23:35,873
Mmm-hmm.
Can't see a thing.
436
00:23:35,873 --> 00:23:37,124
All right.
Now, stand up.
437
00:23:37,124 --> 00:23:38,375
With my eyes closed?
438
00:23:38,417 --> 00:23:41,211
Mmm-hmm. Come on.
Well, okay.
439
00:23:41,211 --> 00:23:43,005
Keep 'em closed, now.
Yeah.
440
00:23:45,340 --> 00:23:47,092
Put your arms
behind you.
441
00:23:48,093 --> 00:23:51,388
Now, other arm.
442
00:23:51,472 --> 00:23:52,681
Hmm.
443
00:23:54,642 --> 00:23:56,435
Don't peek.
I'm not.
444
00:24:00,648 --> 00:24:02,733
There.
Okay?
445
00:24:02,733 --> 00:24:04,026
Mmm-hmm.
446
00:24:05,109 --> 00:24:08,280
Hey. Hey, this is
something else!
447
00:24:08,321 --> 00:24:09,782
Where did you get it?
448
00:24:09,782 --> 00:24:13,160
I, uh, exchanged the
houndstooth jacket for it.
449
00:24:14,494 --> 00:24:17,539
Honey, you couldn't
have exchanged it. You...
450
00:24:17,580 --> 00:24:19,083
Now, why did...
451
00:24:20,876 --> 00:24:23,462
I exchanged
the bathrobe, too.
452
00:24:25,714 --> 00:24:27,340
What were you gonna say?
453
00:24:28,592 --> 00:24:29,802
I forgot.
35152
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