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1
00:00:00,501 --> 00:00:04,171
You can send me
2 pounds of onions...
2
00:00:04,213 --> 00:00:07,090
a pound of butter...
3
00:00:07,132 --> 00:00:10,052
a head of lettuce...
4
00:00:10,093 --> 00:00:13,222
and 60 cans
of wax beans.
5
00:00:13,263 --> 00:00:15,224
Yes, that's right.
Sixty cans.
6
00:00:15,307 --> 00:00:16,725
Bye-bye.
7
00:00:21,104 --> 00:00:23,524
They're having a sale
on wax beans.
8
00:00:23,565 --> 00:00:24,858
I see.
9
00:00:24,900 --> 00:00:26,902
You know, by buying 60 cans,
10
00:00:26,902 --> 00:00:28,654
I save 3 cents a can.
11
00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:32,241
Wonderful. And it also takes
care of all your wax bean buying
12
00:00:32,241 --> 00:00:34,576
for the next 15 or 16 years.
13
00:00:34,618 --> 00:00:36,203
Are you making fun
of me?
14
00:00:36,245 --> 00:00:37,955
Of course not!
15
00:00:37,996 --> 00:00:39,289
You know, there's
a lot more
16
00:00:39,331 --> 00:00:40,999
to running a house
than most people think.
17
00:00:40,999 --> 00:00:44,293
Did you know that lemon juice
takes out ink stains?
18
00:00:44,336 --> 00:00:45,295
No, I didn't.
19
00:00:45,337 --> 00:00:46,755
See that?
20
00:00:46,797 --> 00:00:48,715
Honey, I think it's wonderful
the way you've adjusted.
21
00:00:48,757 --> 00:00:51,510
I bet there's not a witch in a
thousand who could do as well.
22
00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:54,012
I love being a housewife.
23
00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:59,560
Are you sure you won't get bored
once the novelty's worn off?
24
00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:03,021
How could I be bored being
married to someone like you?
25
00:01:04,481 --> 00:01:07,025
Lady, you've just talked
yourself into dinner for two
26
00:01:07,066 --> 00:01:08,610
at the best
restaurant in town.
27
00:01:09,987 --> 00:01:12,155
Hmm.
28
00:01:12,197 --> 00:01:13,657
I'll see you tonight.
29
00:02:14,092 --> 00:02:15,177
I'm Mrs. Darrin Stephens.
30
00:02:15,218 --> 00:02:16,219
Has my husband
arrived yet?
31
00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:17,554
Not yet,
Mrs. Stephens.
32
00:02:17,596 --> 00:02:19,431
Right this way,
please.
33
00:02:23,727 --> 00:02:24,770
Thank you.
34
00:02:24,770 --> 00:02:25,645
You're welcome.
35
00:02:25,687 --> 00:02:27,105
Can I get you something
from the bar?
36
00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:28,982
Oh, uh, no, thank you.
I'll wait.
37
00:02:29,024 --> 00:02:30,442
All right.
38
00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:33,236
Is there something
I can do for you, beautiful?
39
00:02:33,278 --> 00:02:34,279
Yes.
40
00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:36,156
You can go away.
41
00:02:36,198 --> 00:02:38,450
I dig blonds
with class.
42
00:02:38,450 --> 00:02:41,244
Now, why don't you and I
get to know each other
43
00:02:41,286 --> 00:02:43,080
a little bit better, hm?
44
00:02:43,121 --> 00:02:44,456
Please leave.
45
00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:46,291
I'm expecting my husband
any moment,
46
00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:48,126
and he has a very
violent temper.
47
00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:50,337
Oh!
48
00:02:50,379 --> 00:02:52,089
Hi, honey.
49
00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:53,340
This man been
bothering you?
50
00:02:53,382 --> 00:02:54,383
Oh, it's nothing.
51
00:02:54,424 --> 00:02:56,343
This little blond here tells me
52
00:02:56,385 --> 00:02:57,969
that you're a very tough guy.
53
00:02:57,969 --> 00:03:00,055
This little blond
happens to be my wife.
54
00:03:00,097 --> 00:03:01,306
Darrin.
And if you--
55
00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:06,395
Darrin, he's, uh...
Well, uh, let's leave.
56
00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:08,105
Darrin...
57
00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:12,317
That's a pretty name
for a tough guy.
58
00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:14,986
Now look, you. I don't-- This.
59
00:03:18,115 --> 00:03:20,367
Does that hurt, Darrin, baby?
60
00:03:20,409 --> 00:03:21,910
You let go of him!
61
00:03:21,952 --> 00:03:23,745
This is just
for openers, Darrin.
62
00:03:25,831 --> 00:03:27,332
Ooh!
63
00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:29,501
Why, you...
64
00:03:36,508 --> 00:03:38,385
Come on, Darrin,
let's leave.
65
00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:08,165
Oh, my stars.
66
00:04:08,206 --> 00:04:10,375
[Darrin] Breakfast ready, honey?
67
00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:12,335
Uh... no. No.
68
00:04:12,377 --> 00:04:14,463
Just a minute,
sweetheart.
69
00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:38,779
Darrin?
70
00:04:38,820 --> 00:04:39,904
Mm?
71
00:04:41,363 --> 00:04:42,866
Are you still
mad at me?
72
00:04:44,242 --> 00:04:45,660
Honey, I'm not
mad at you.
73
00:04:45,702 --> 00:04:48,789
I'm... just disappointed.
74
00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:50,624
Well, I was only
trying to help.
75
00:04:50,665 --> 00:04:51,916
I know, sweetheart.
76
00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:52,793
And I appreciate it.
77
00:04:52,834 --> 00:04:55,462
But you're not
supposed to.
78
00:04:55,504 --> 00:04:56,922
Why not?
79
00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:59,216
When a man's wife is being
annoyed by a drunk in a bar,
80
00:04:59,257 --> 00:05:00,550
the man is the one
81
00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:02,052
who's supposed to do
something about it.
82
00:05:02,093 --> 00:05:03,512
Well, you did, didn't you?
83
00:05:03,553 --> 00:05:04,763
Oh, sure.
84
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:06,640
I took a wild swing
and I missed.
85
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:09,476
You twitched your nose
and knocked him cold.
86
00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:12,521
Oh.
87
00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:15,524
- Does it still hurt?
- Mm-mm.
88
00:05:15,565 --> 00:05:17,734
Darling, I can't just stand by
and do nothing
89
00:05:17,776 --> 00:05:19,694
when you're in trouble.
90
00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:22,113
You would do the same for me
if you could, wouldn't you?
91
00:05:22,948 --> 00:05:24,157
Yeah, sure.
92
00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:28,620
Let's pretend the whole
thing never happened. Okay.
93
00:05:28,620 --> 00:05:29,955
Let's just
forget about it.
94
00:05:29,996 --> 00:05:31,122
Okay.
95
00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:34,626
Honey, where's
the morning paper?
96
00:05:36,253 --> 00:05:37,587
Morning paper?
97
00:05:39,548 --> 00:05:41,633
Oh, never mind.
I see it.
98
00:05:48,598 --> 00:05:49,933
Samantha!
99
00:05:55,063 --> 00:05:56,731
Abner!
100
00:05:56,773 --> 00:05:59,442
Look! Look! Look!
101
00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:05,532
Something you wished to call
my attention to, Gladys?
102
00:06:08,493 --> 00:06:09,827
Stephens.
103
00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:13,665
Oh?
104
00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:15,083
They're fighting
with each other.
105
00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:17,586
You saw it on your private
radar screen.
106
00:06:17,627 --> 00:06:20,130
No! No!
107
00:06:20,171 --> 00:06:25,010
He-- He-- He-- He--
Mr. Stephens is gonna be
108
00:06:25,010 --> 00:06:27,637
the next heavyweight champion.
109
00:06:27,678 --> 00:06:30,015
That's wild, all right.
110
00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:31,600
But it's not as wild
as some of the things
111
00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:33,017
you've been dreaming up
about them.
112
00:06:34,686 --> 00:06:35,896
Maybe you're getting better.
113
00:06:35,937 --> 00:06:37,981
All right,
Mr. Know-It-All!
114
00:06:38,023 --> 00:06:40,984
Look. It's right here
in the paper.
115
00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:51,494
Stephens,
wait a minute.
116
00:06:51,536 --> 00:06:52,913
May I have
your autograph?
117
00:06:52,954 --> 00:06:54,581
Mr. Kravitz,
you're kidding.
118
00:06:54,623 --> 00:06:56,249
You're a celebrity,
Mr. Stephens.
119
00:06:56,291 --> 00:06:59,294
Sign right here, where it says,
"Next Heavyweight Champ."
120
00:07:00,378 --> 00:07:01,671
Me, living next door
to the man
121
00:07:01,713 --> 00:07:03,505
who knocked out
"Jolting" Joe Kovacks.
122
00:07:03,548 --> 00:07:05,050
Can you imagine that?
123
00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:07,093
Uh, no.
124
00:07:07,135 --> 00:07:09,679
I'm sure glad I got
your autograph this morning...
125
00:07:09,721 --> 00:07:11,723
while you can still
write your name.
126
00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:14,351
What does that mean?
127
00:07:14,392 --> 00:07:17,187
You didn't see Kovacks' fight
with "No Nose" Novotni?
128
00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:18,396
No.
129
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:20,941
Excuse me, Mr. Kravitz.
I have to get to the office.
130
00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:22,275
Oh, sure.
131
00:07:22,317 --> 00:07:23,693
Of course, they didn't start
calling Novotni "No Nose"
132
00:07:23,735 --> 00:07:25,195
until after the fight.
133
00:07:35,747 --> 00:07:36,706
Hi, Johnny.
134
00:07:36,748 --> 00:07:38,166
Good morning,
Mr. Stephens.
135
00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:39,209
Are you okay?
136
00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:41,419
Sure.
Shouldn't I be?
137
00:07:41,419 --> 00:07:43,004
After the Tomson-Kovacks
rematch,
138
00:07:43,046 --> 00:07:45,882
Tomson had both shoulders
in a cast for three months.
139
00:07:45,924 --> 00:07:47,550
And he was lucky.
140
00:07:47,592 --> 00:07:48,760
Lucky?
141
00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:50,804
Yeah.
It was a glancing blow.
142
00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:54,265
The next time
you run into Kovacks...
143
00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:55,392
Yeah.
144
00:07:55,433 --> 00:07:57,227
...be in your car.
145
00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:06,361
Mr. Stephens--
146
00:08:06,403 --> 00:08:07,654
Not right now,
Barbara.
147
00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:09,030
And I don't want
to be disturbed.
148
00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:17,664
Okay.
149
00:08:17,706 --> 00:08:19,541
Okay... but you'll get
the chair for this.
150
00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:20,750
Easy, Mac.
151
00:08:20,792 --> 00:08:23,086
Stupid, here,
just come to apologize.
152
00:08:23,128 --> 00:08:24,963
Yeah.
153
00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:27,257
Apologize?
154
00:08:28,216 --> 00:08:31,845
Well, he... certainly
should apologize.
155
00:08:31,886 --> 00:08:34,806
Annoying my wife
and assaulting me, and--
156
00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:37,100
Look, pal... I had
a couple of shots,
157
00:08:37,142 --> 00:08:38,809
and, well, I ain't used to it.
158
00:08:38,809 --> 00:08:40,395
Like, most of the time,
I'm in training.
159
00:08:40,437 --> 00:08:41,563
See what I mean?
160
00:08:41,604 --> 00:08:43,606
Now, about that
assault bit, sport.
161
00:08:43,648 --> 00:08:45,775
We got some witnesses
and a picture.
162
00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:48,445
Now, this picture shows
my tiger out cold
163
00:08:48,486 --> 00:08:50,447
and you
standing over him.
164
00:08:50,488 --> 00:08:53,033
I still say I never saw
the punch he hit me with.
165
00:08:53,074 --> 00:08:54,784
Yeah, the whole thing
was magic.
166
00:08:54,826 --> 00:08:56,453
Like, he did it
with mirrors.
167
00:08:56,494 --> 00:08:57,871
Well, as a matter
of fact--
168
00:08:57,871 --> 00:09:00,206
Now, let's get down
to business, right?
169
00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:03,460
Now, I figure you and Joe
meet at Dundee's Bar again,
170
00:09:03,501 --> 00:09:05,795
and he apologizes to you
in public.
171
00:09:05,837 --> 00:09:07,797
Oh, that won't be--
Shut up!
172
00:09:07,839 --> 00:09:10,133
Now, the sooner, the better,
is what I say.
173
00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:12,302
So, we'll make it
at lunchtime today.
174
00:09:12,343 --> 00:09:15,054
Now, I'll fix it so there
will be plenty of reporters
175
00:09:15,096 --> 00:09:16,681
and camera guys around.
176
00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:18,141
You dig?
177
00:09:18,183 --> 00:09:19,267
No.
178
00:09:19,309 --> 00:09:21,311
Don't you know what that
lucky punch of yours
179
00:09:21,352 --> 00:09:22,771
last night cost us?
180
00:09:22,771 --> 00:09:25,690
A million bucks.
Maybe 2 million.
181
00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:28,151
You knocked us right out
of a title fight.
182
00:09:28,193 --> 00:09:29,152
I did? Why?
183
00:09:29,194 --> 00:09:30,862
Because who's gonna pay
to see it?
184
00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:33,030
I mean, me. Fight
Tommy Carter, the champ,
185
00:09:33,030 --> 00:09:35,492
after I've been KO'd
by a square named Darrin.
186
00:09:35,533 --> 00:09:37,077
I got a good mind--
187
00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:38,203
Shut up!
188
00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:40,955
So at Dundee's place,
Joe is gonna apologize,
189
00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:42,373
like the clean-cut fella he is.
190
00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:45,543
Only you ain't gonna
accept his apology.
191
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:46,669
Sure I will.
192
00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:47,962
I'm a good sport.
Ask anybody.
193
00:09:48,004 --> 00:09:51,800
No, Darrin.
You're a lousy sport.
194
00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:54,219
You're gonna refuse
to shake hands with him.
195
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:56,011
One thing is gonna
lead to another,
196
00:09:56,054 --> 00:09:57,931
you're gonna throw
a couple of punches at him,
197
00:09:57,972 --> 00:09:59,682
and Joe is gonna
lay you out.
198
00:09:59,724 --> 00:10:01,809
Joe is gonna pull
his punch, natch.
199
00:10:01,809 --> 00:10:03,352
Natch.
200
00:10:03,394 --> 00:10:06,940
He's just gonna graze you.
And you go down.
201
00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:08,817
And you stay down.
202
00:10:08,857 --> 00:10:12,237
Are you suggesting
that I take a dive?
203
00:10:16,574 --> 00:10:17,617
I won't do it.
204
00:10:17,659 --> 00:10:20,578
It's un-American!
205
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,872
So if Joe busts
your jaw for real...
206
00:10:22,914 --> 00:10:24,165
you're a patriot?
207
00:10:24,207 --> 00:10:25,750
Can I kind of lean on him
a little right now?
208
00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:27,710
Not now.
209
00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:30,630
Later, maybe.
210
00:10:30,672 --> 00:10:32,090
Darrin...
211
00:10:32,090 --> 00:10:34,926
I don't think you're
in no position to dicker.
212
00:10:36,761 --> 00:10:38,429
May I think about it?
213
00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:40,932
Why not? Take your time.
214
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:43,059
Take about 10 seconds.
215
00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:52,277
[Gladys] Yoo-hoo!
216
00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:53,361
Yoo-hoo!
217
00:10:53,403 --> 00:10:55,822
I'm up here in the nursery,
Mrs. Kravitz!
218
00:10:55,864 --> 00:10:57,407
[Gladys] Okay.
219
00:10:58,908 --> 00:11:00,285
Hello there,
Mrs. Stephens.
220
00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:01,035
Hi!
221
00:11:01,077 --> 00:11:02,537
What are you
doing?
222
00:11:02,578 --> 00:11:04,414
It's a pony for Tabatha.
223
00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:08,960
Isn't she a little
too young to ride?
224
00:11:19,261 --> 00:11:20,929
Abner says that if he were
Mr. Stephens,
225
00:11:20,929 --> 00:11:22,390
he'd be hiding out.
226
00:11:22,432 --> 00:11:23,725
Oh, come on.
227
00:11:23,766 --> 00:11:25,977
I'm just telling you
what Abner said.
228
00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:28,771
He says Kovacks is gonna
catch up with him
229
00:11:28,813 --> 00:11:30,648
and give it to him good.
230
00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:35,445
Uh, hello.
This is Mrs. Stephens.
231
00:11:35,486 --> 00:11:37,405
Is my husband there?
232
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:39,866
Oh?
233
00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:41,451
Did anything
unusual happen?
234
00:11:43,660 --> 00:11:46,289
Did you say Dundee's?
235
00:11:46,331 --> 00:11:49,500
No, no. No. No message.
Thank you.
236
00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:51,836
They're meeting
for lunch.
237
00:11:51,878 --> 00:11:55,340
It's an ambush!
You've got to warn him.
238
00:11:55,340 --> 00:11:56,256
I'll tell you.
239
00:11:56,299 --> 00:11:57,717
I'll baby-sit and you go. We--
240
00:11:57,759 --> 00:11:58,760
Go!
241
00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:00,220
All right.
242
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:02,096
Tabatha's been fed, and I'm sure
you'll have no problem.
243
00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:04,515
Oh, problems.
It'll be a pleasure.
244
00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:07,101
Oh, Mrs. Stephens.
245
00:12:07,143 --> 00:12:09,771
Aren't you gonna change
before you go out?
246
00:12:09,812 --> 00:12:12,065
Oh. Of course.
247
00:12:12,106 --> 00:12:14,400
What could I have
been thinking of?
248
00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:24,535
Goodbye.
249
00:12:40,802 --> 00:12:44,472
Hey! Hey! Ain't you, uh,
what's-his-name?
250
00:12:44,514 --> 00:12:46,849
The guy that creamed
Joe Kovacks?
251
00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:48,726
You're confusing me
with someone else.
252
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,019
Excuse me.
253
00:12:50,019 --> 00:12:52,063
You're him. You're the guy,
all right.
254
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:55,525
Well, you don't look
so tough to me.
255
00:12:55,566 --> 00:12:56,526
Put 'em up.
256
00:12:56,567 --> 00:12:58,528
Come on.
Put 'em up.
257
00:13:00,029 --> 00:13:01,739
Come on.
258
00:13:05,743 --> 00:13:07,953
Hey, come on!
Fight!
259
00:13:07,996 --> 00:13:09,747
You, I know
I can lick.
260
00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:14,085
And I don't want
no mistakes.
261
00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:16,087
Okay. All right.
262
00:13:21,009 --> 00:13:24,053
Well... I owe you
an apology.
263
00:13:26,264 --> 00:13:27,557
Oh yeah?
264
00:13:28,266 --> 00:13:29,600
No hard feelings?
265
00:13:31,602 --> 00:13:33,146
Get lost.
266
00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:36,274
Give me a double martini.
267
00:13:36,941 --> 00:13:37,900
Look, friend.
268
00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:40,778
I'm trying to be
a nice guy.
269
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:43,655
Beat it, before
I flatten you again.
270
00:13:45,950 --> 00:13:47,660
[Joe] Now, friend...
271
00:13:47,702 --> 00:13:50,580
Don't call me
friend.
272
00:13:51,289 --> 00:13:54,375
You...
You louse!
273
00:14:06,763 --> 00:14:08,723
All right,
put 'em up.
274
00:14:14,604 --> 00:14:16,606
[Darrin] Samantha.
275
00:14:16,647 --> 00:14:19,609
Samantha! Samantha!
276
00:14:21,736 --> 00:14:23,321
Samantha!
277
00:14:30,036 --> 00:14:32,121
Sam, you're supposed
to be my wife,
278
00:14:32,163 --> 00:14:33,790
not my bodyguard.
279
00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:35,333
Darrin, how was
I supposed to know
280
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:36,793
the whole thing was a fake?
281
00:14:36,834 --> 00:14:38,669
What was I supposed to do?
282
00:14:39,253 --> 00:14:41,130
Let him hit me.
283
00:14:41,172 --> 00:14:43,091
Oh, you mean, just
stand around and look happy
284
00:14:43,132 --> 00:14:44,509
while he puts you
in the hospital?
285
00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:46,010
Yes!
286
00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:49,180
Well, I-I-I don't mean that.
287
00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:51,265
He wasn't really
going to hit me.
288
00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:53,309
You sure?
289
00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:54,644
I'm pretty sure.
290
00:14:54,685 --> 00:14:57,980
I'm sorry. I really did
mess things up, didn't I?
291
00:14:58,022 --> 00:14:59,440
I'll figure some way
out of this.
292
00:14:59,482 --> 00:15:01,401
But you've gotta
promise me one thing.
293
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:02,360
Anything you say.
294
00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:04,195
Don't do it again.
295
00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:05,571
I mean, if you see me
squaring off
296
00:15:05,613 --> 00:15:08,533
with a locomotive...
don't twitch.
297
00:15:08,574 --> 00:15:11,327
Go read a book or something.
Understand?
298
00:15:11,369 --> 00:15:12,662
Yes, sir.
299
00:15:12,703 --> 00:15:14,831
In the future,
let me fight my own battles.
300
00:15:14,872 --> 00:15:16,791
Okay. Okay, I promise.
301
00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:18,334
Okay.
302
00:15:21,379 --> 00:15:23,381
[Gladys] Abner!
303
00:15:23,381 --> 00:15:26,050
Hey, Abner!
304
00:15:26,050 --> 00:15:29,720
Abner, put that flute down,
and come and help me.
305
00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:31,305
Help you what?
306
00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:34,642
Help me put this box
over there on the sofa.
307
00:15:34,684 --> 00:15:35,643
Mmm.
308
00:15:35,685 --> 00:15:36,644
You got it?
309
00:15:36,686 --> 00:15:37,895
Yeah.
310
00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:40,731
What have you got in here,
some of your icebox cookies?
311
00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:44,152
I'll tell you
in a minute.
312
00:15:44,193 --> 00:15:47,029
Abner. Abner,
he did it again.
313
00:15:47,071 --> 00:15:48,197
Who did what?
314
00:15:48,239 --> 00:15:49,365
Mr. Stephens.
315
00:15:49,407 --> 00:15:51,659
I just heard it
on the car radio.
316
00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:55,621
That boxer got snippy again,
so Mr. Stephens hit him.
317
00:15:55,663 --> 00:15:56,414
Where?
318
00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:57,790
In the bar.
319
00:15:57,832 --> 00:16:00,376
It took three seconds
to knock him out cold.
320
00:16:00,418 --> 00:16:03,421
Ah, the fight game
isn't what it used to be.
321
00:16:04,422 --> 00:16:06,966
Abner... uh, what
would you do
322
00:16:07,008 --> 00:16:08,217
if someone
made a pass
323
00:16:08,259 --> 00:16:10,011
at me in a bar?
324
00:16:10,011 --> 00:16:11,220
I'd faint.
325
00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:12,680
Oh, I'm serious.
326
00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:16,559
Now, supposing a man tried
to kiss me, what would you do?
327
00:16:16,601 --> 00:16:19,937
Put a dime in his tin cup,
pat his Seeing Eye dog
328
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,272
and go home.
329
00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:23,816
Now... what's
in the box?
330
00:16:23,858 --> 00:16:26,402
Something for that
stomach of yours.
331
00:16:26,444 --> 00:16:28,571
They have a sale
of bicarbonate?
332
00:16:28,613 --> 00:16:31,032
You're out of shape,
Abner.
333
00:16:31,073 --> 00:16:33,075
I was born that way.
334
00:16:33,117 --> 00:16:36,537
Well, anyway, I decided
that the one thing you needed
335
00:16:36,579 --> 00:16:39,040
in your life
was a dumbbell.
336
00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:40,500
So you married me.
337
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:43,461
Funny. Very funny.
338
00:16:43,461 --> 00:16:46,130
Put that flute down.
339
00:16:46,130 --> 00:16:49,884
Doesn't it bother you
that every time I go out,
340
00:16:49,926 --> 00:16:53,763
I am fair game for any playboy
that has a roving eye?
341
00:16:53,804 --> 00:16:56,891
Gladys, if Richard Burton
can live with it, so can I!
342
00:16:56,933 --> 00:17:00,061
That's not
a good enough answer.
343
00:17:00,061 --> 00:17:03,231
It's my responsibility
to keep you healthy and fit.
344
00:17:03,272 --> 00:17:05,816
I don't want to be
healthy and fit.
345
00:17:08,319 --> 00:17:10,905
I paid good money
for this dumbbell,
346
00:17:10,946 --> 00:17:13,950
and you're gonna
be healthy and fit
347
00:17:13,991 --> 00:17:15,660
if it kills you.
348
00:17:15,701 --> 00:17:16,827
Huh?
349
00:17:18,454 --> 00:17:20,122
Hi, Darrin.
350
00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:26,212
Would you mind
explaining this?
351
00:17:26,254 --> 00:17:29,215
Uh, that's
the morning newspaper.
352
00:17:29,257 --> 00:17:30,675
I know it's
the morning newspaper.
353
00:17:30,715 --> 00:17:32,843
What I want
explained is...
354
00:17:34,095 --> 00:17:36,305
You mean there's more?
355
00:17:36,347 --> 00:17:38,474
Possibly in
the afternoon newspaper.
356
00:17:38,516 --> 00:17:39,725
Possibly?
357
00:17:39,767 --> 00:17:41,060
Probably.
358
00:17:41,102 --> 00:17:44,146
I went to lunch at Dundee's
today, and I met Kovacks again.
359
00:17:45,606 --> 00:17:46,898
And he dumped you
right on the seat of your pants
360
00:17:46,898 --> 00:17:50,194
in front of
a whole roomful of people.
361
00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:51,571
Not exactly.
362
00:17:51,612 --> 00:17:53,531
Oh. You mean there weren't
a lot of people around?
363
00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:54,991
The bar was jammed.
364
00:17:55,032 --> 00:17:57,034
There were reporters
and photographers.
365
00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:58,452
They took a lot of pictures.
366
00:17:58,494 --> 00:17:59,829
Of what?
367
00:17:59,869 --> 00:18:02,873
Of me dumping Kovacks
on the seat of his pants.
368
00:18:05,710 --> 00:18:07,044
You don't believe me.
369
00:18:09,213 --> 00:18:11,840
Frankly, no.
370
00:18:11,882 --> 00:18:14,677
Darrin... remember when
we used to skip lunch
371
00:18:14,719 --> 00:18:17,513
and work out together in the gym
on Tuesdays and Thursdays?
372
00:18:17,555 --> 00:18:19,223
Yeah. You were
on a health kick.
373
00:18:19,265 --> 00:18:20,516
You developed a potbelly, and--
374
00:18:20,558 --> 00:18:21,851
Never mind about my potbelly.
375
00:18:21,892 --> 00:18:23,561
The point is,
we used to put on the gloves
376
00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:26,272
and spar with each other
every now and then, remember?
377
00:18:26,314 --> 00:18:27,523
Sure I remember, Larry.
378
00:18:27,565 --> 00:18:29,525
We used to kid around
a lot in those days.
379
00:18:29,567 --> 00:18:30,901
Well, I had
the impression, then,
380
00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:33,571
that I could take you
anytime I wanted to,
381
00:18:33,571 --> 00:18:35,448
if we ever tried
to mix seriously.
382
00:18:39,201 --> 00:18:41,287
Oh, sure you could, Larry.
383
00:18:41,329 --> 00:18:44,040
Well, there's a clause
in my contract where it says
384
00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:46,250
I am not allowed
to beat up on my boss
385
00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:47,960
on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
386
00:18:49,420 --> 00:18:53,590
Fact is, I still think
I can take you.
387
00:18:53,590 --> 00:18:56,552
Talk about a case
of arrested development!
388
00:18:56,594 --> 00:18:58,554
Where are you going,
chicken?
389
00:19:00,181 --> 00:19:01,641
To a saloon.
390
00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:04,310
You meet a much more intelligent
class of people in bars
391
00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:06,061
than you do
in advertising agencies!
392
00:19:10,191 --> 00:19:12,193
Potbelly!
393
00:19:17,573 --> 00:19:19,325
Thanks, Harry.
394
00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:26,540
Ah-ha!
395
00:19:26,540 --> 00:19:28,584
We meet again.
396
00:19:30,336 --> 00:19:32,672
Darrin Stephens, right?
397
00:19:32,713 --> 00:19:34,924
No. I just
look like him.
398
00:19:34,965 --> 00:19:37,593
Actually, I'm
Elroy Aspinwall,
399
00:19:37,635 --> 00:19:40,680
the well-known
professional fly-caster.
400
00:19:40,721 --> 00:19:43,516
Look, you can't keep
running forever.
401
00:19:43,557 --> 00:19:46,102
Why don't you and me
just step outside,
402
00:19:46,143 --> 00:19:49,814
and we'll see how tough
you really are.
403
00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:50,690
Okay.
404
00:19:50,731 --> 00:19:52,441
Why don't you go out
the back way.
405
00:19:52,483 --> 00:19:53,651
Wait in the alley.
406
00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:55,319
I'll be along as soon
as I finish my drink.
407
00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:07,623
Oh! I beg
your pardon.
408
00:20:07,665 --> 00:20:08,833
That's okay.
409
00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:10,459
Hey.
410
00:20:10,501 --> 00:20:12,878
Aren't you the guy
that KO'd Kovacks?
411
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:15,589
Look, I just came in
for a nice, quiet drink.
412
00:20:15,631 --> 00:20:18,217
I've been wanting to meet you.
413
00:20:18,259 --> 00:20:19,635
You really creamed him, huh?
414
00:20:19,677 --> 00:20:22,179
That thing with Kovacks
was an accident.
415
00:20:22,179 --> 00:20:24,390
An accident. Twice.
416
00:20:24,432 --> 00:20:26,142
Yes, twice.
Now, if you don't mind--
417
00:20:26,183 --> 00:20:28,018
Not so fast.
418
00:20:29,186 --> 00:20:30,479
You know, I don't get it.
419
00:20:30,479 --> 00:20:33,148
You don't look as if you could
knock out my grandmother.
420
00:20:33,190 --> 00:20:35,859
Well, let's just say
I was lucky, and forget it.
421
00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:37,486
I guess those stories
about Kovacks
422
00:20:37,528 --> 00:20:38,946
having a glass jaw
are true, huh?
423
00:20:38,988 --> 00:20:42,116
Yeah, that's right.
A glass jaw.
424
00:20:42,157 --> 00:20:45,369
Now, do you mind if I sit down
and finish my drink?
425
00:20:45,369 --> 00:20:46,619
Sure.
426
00:20:46,619 --> 00:20:48,497
Right after I've tried
a little experiment.
427
00:20:48,539 --> 00:20:49,540
Experiment?
428
00:20:49,540 --> 00:20:50,750
Experiment.
429
00:20:50,791 --> 00:20:53,294
I'm the prettiest
and I've got an iron jaw.
430
00:20:53,335 --> 00:20:54,879
So bust me one.
431
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:56,088
What?
432
00:20:56,130 --> 00:20:58,799
I mean it.
Give me your Sunday punch.
433
00:20:58,799 --> 00:21:01,635
I'll bet you can't even
make me blink.
434
00:21:01,635 --> 00:21:02,720
Well, go on.
435
00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:04,555
Give it your best,
put it to the test,
436
00:21:04,555 --> 00:21:07,016
and I'll put you to rest.
437
00:21:08,893 --> 00:21:10,019
Now, look.
438
00:21:17,067 --> 00:21:18,861
You laid him
right out!
439
00:21:18,861 --> 00:21:20,237
It was
an accident.
440
00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:21,655
Do you know
who that is?
441
00:21:21,655 --> 00:21:22,948
No. And frankly,
I don't care.
442
00:21:22,948 --> 00:21:26,327
As long as he's not
another contender.
443
00:21:26,327 --> 00:21:27,453
Well, that's no contender.
444
00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:29,747
That's Tommy Carter. The champ!
445
00:21:31,457 --> 00:21:33,000
Sam.
446
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:34,167
Sam!
447
00:21:34,167 --> 00:21:35,419
Sam, where are you?
448
00:21:35,419 --> 00:21:37,922
Sam,
where are you?
449
00:21:37,922 --> 00:21:40,800
W-who are you calling for?
450
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:44,804
She changed herself
into someone else, so...
451
00:21:46,597 --> 00:21:47,765
You!
452
00:21:50,017 --> 00:21:51,769
You're Sam.
453
00:21:52,770 --> 00:21:54,438
That's right.
454
00:21:54,438 --> 00:21:57,358
Sam, what did you do
with Harry?
455
00:21:57,358 --> 00:21:58,442
Harry?
456
00:21:58,442 --> 00:21:59,734
Harry went home.
457
00:21:59,734 --> 00:22:01,445
Sam, I've just about
had it.
458
00:22:01,445 --> 00:22:03,948
Now, I'm warning you.
459
00:22:03,948 --> 00:22:05,282
When we were
married,
460
00:22:05,324 --> 00:22:08,077
didn't you promise to
love, honor and obey?
461
00:22:08,077 --> 00:22:09,244
Me?
462
00:22:11,455 --> 00:22:15,459
Do you want to be my wife,
or don't you?
463
00:22:16,292 --> 00:22:18,462
Anything you say, mister.
464
00:22:18,462 --> 00:22:20,381
Only, wouldn't you be
just as happy, if instead,
465
00:22:20,381 --> 00:22:23,342
we... got to be
very good friends?
466
00:22:33,060 --> 00:22:34,686
Here we go again.
467
00:22:34,686 --> 00:22:37,439
I'm making the front page
more often than the astronauts.
468
00:22:37,439 --> 00:22:39,316
There you are,
darling.
469
00:22:39,316 --> 00:22:40,651
I swear to you,
470
00:22:40,651 --> 00:22:42,778
I came straight home
after I left your office,
471
00:22:42,778 --> 00:22:45,321
and I haven't been
out of the house since.
472
00:22:45,321 --> 00:22:46,407
Then you kept
your promise.
473
00:22:46,407 --> 00:22:47,449
Mm-hm.
474
00:22:47,449 --> 00:22:49,326
I should have known
you would.
475
00:22:49,326 --> 00:22:50,703
You've got to promise me
that you'll stop
476
00:22:50,703 --> 00:22:53,497
getting in fights
with world champions.
477
00:22:53,497 --> 00:22:56,166
Honey, I didn't fight him.
I fell on him.
478
00:22:56,166 --> 00:22:58,042
My feet got
all tangled up.
479
00:22:58,042 --> 00:23:00,462
A likely story, tiger.
480
00:23:00,462 --> 00:23:02,256
I will promise you
one thing.
481
00:23:02,256 --> 00:23:03,340
Hm?
482
00:23:03,340 --> 00:23:04,675
That was my last bout.
483
00:23:04,675 --> 00:23:07,136
Then you're gonna retire,
undefeated, as champion?
484
00:23:07,136 --> 00:23:09,888
Depend on it.
485
00:23:11,515 --> 00:23:14,143
I'll drink to that.
486
00:23:21,233 --> 00:23:22,443
Hi.
487
00:23:22,443 --> 00:23:24,028
I should have known
it would be you.
488
00:23:24,028 --> 00:23:26,280
Darrin, I didn't come here
to exchange insults.
489
00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:28,449
You just want me to knock
the chip off your shoulder.
490
00:23:29,450 --> 00:23:30,618
Hi, Sam.
491
00:23:30,618 --> 00:23:32,619
He's all over
the papers again.
492
00:23:32,619 --> 00:23:33,787
Tommy Carter came up
to the office
493
00:23:33,787 --> 00:23:35,372
looking for you,
champ.
494
00:23:35,372 --> 00:23:37,041
Oh, no.
495
00:23:37,041 --> 00:23:37,917
It's all right.
496
00:23:37,917 --> 00:23:39,460
I straightened out
everything.
497
00:23:39,460 --> 00:23:42,379
You did?
498
00:23:42,421 --> 00:23:44,798
Larry, you're
a good man.
499
00:23:44,798 --> 00:23:47,176
The fact is, he's
now working for us.
500
00:23:47,176 --> 00:23:48,177
For the agency?
501
00:23:48,177 --> 00:23:49,845
Well, not exactly.
502
00:23:49,845 --> 00:23:52,138
But he's agreed to appear
at the Advertising Club's
503
00:23:52,138 --> 00:23:54,224
annual Charity Ball.
504
00:23:54,224 --> 00:23:55,809
How about
that, huh?
505
00:23:55,809 --> 00:23:58,020
Larry, I've said it once,
and I'll say it again.
506
00:23:58,020 --> 00:24:00,481
You are the greatest
salesman in the world.
507
00:24:00,481 --> 00:24:02,316
Ah, what's he gonna do?
Say a few words?
508
00:24:02,316 --> 00:24:03,984
Oh, better than that.
509
00:24:03,984 --> 00:24:09,323
He's gonna box four rounds...
with an opponent of his choice.
510
00:24:09,323 --> 00:24:11,659
With an opponent of his choice?
511
00:24:12,826 --> 00:24:15,037
Larry... you didn't.
512
00:24:15,037 --> 00:24:17,498
It was the only way
I could get him, Sam.
513
00:24:17,498 --> 00:24:19,583
Oh, great.
514
00:24:19,583 --> 00:24:20,709
Don't worry, darling.
515
00:24:20,709 --> 00:24:23,087
Everything's gonna be
all right.
516
00:24:23,087 --> 00:24:24,505
It will?
517
00:24:24,505 --> 00:24:25,673
Sure.
518
00:24:25,673 --> 00:24:27,340
I'll be in your corner.
519
00:24:27,340 --> 00:24:29,885
Together, we'll be
unbeatable.
35026
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