All language subtitles for Bewitched.S02E14.Speak.the.Truth.Imprint.Black.and.White.1080p.BluRay.FLAC2.0.H.264-BTN_track4_[eng]

Darrin, is that you?

No, I left half an hour ago.

Oh.

Hey!
Hey, sleepyhead.

Oh, honey.
I'm sorry.

I meant to get up
and fix your breakfast.

You were sleeping so soundly
and you looked so beautiful,

I just couldn't wake you up.

I'm not beautiful.
I'm sleepy and I look awful.

Not to me you don't.

You look more
beautiful every day.

Do I really?

Of course you do.

Oh, I'll try to get home
early tonight.

The Hotchkisses and the Tates
are coming for dinner.

And I'm looking forward to
them seeing my beautiful wife.

I'll see you tonight.

[Endora] Mirror, mirror on the wall

Who's the most gullible
of all?

Mother!

What do you mean "gullible"?

You're getting more and more
human every day, Samantha.

Thank you.

The way you lap up that treacle,
it's just pathetic.

Well, I may not be appealing
to you, Mother,

but Darrin thinks I'm beautiful.

Oh, he's not telling the truth,
and you know it.

Thank you, Mother.
You do say the nicest things.

Humans beings can't get along
without lying to each other.

If they're forced
to tell the truth,

it's instant chaos.

That's not true.

Nonsense.

They're all the same.

Every one of them.
Including your precious Dumpkin.

That's enough, Mother.

Very well, dear.

You'll see.

Hmm.

All right, Hagatha.

Here it is, Endora.

I'm so glad I had one
in stock for you.

These little truth gods
are hard to find.

I knew if anyone would
have it in her shop, you would.

Nobody seems to be making
them anymore.

There's a lot of handwork
goes into them.

And this new generation
of witches

just doesn't have the patience.

Where shall I put it?

Oh, uh...
how powerful is it?

Oh, not terribly.
Really.

It is very old, you know.

But if a human comes within
three feet of it,

he'll just have to say
what's on his mind.

Oh, splendid!

May I see it, Hagatha?

Of course.

Oh, it's a dear little thing.

Put it on the desk, Hagatha.

One more thing.

They do know what they're
saying, don't they?

Oh, yes.

And Samantha won't be
affected by it, will she?

Not at all.

She's still one of us,
isn't she?

Oh, of course.
Of course.

Now, would you like
a gift card to go with it?

Oh, yes.

Thank you, Hagatha.

If I'm not prying
too much,

what did you put
on the card?

Oh, just, "Thought you
might be interested in this.

Uncle Herbert."

He's an uncle of
Samantha's husband

who travels around
the world a lot.

I'd rather my son-in-law
didn't know it was from me.

Remember...
if he doesn't like it,

you can always exchange it
for something else.

Oh, thank you, Hagatha.

[Darrin] I'll call him
right away, Miss Thatcher.

Hm.

Miss Thatcher, would you come
in here for a minute?

Yes, sir?

Uh, Miss Thatcher, how did
this package get on my desk?

Well, I don't know, sir.
I hadn't noticed it before.

My Uncle Herbert's
full of surprises.

He always says--

That sure is a tight dress
you're wearing.

Your uncle always
says that?

And I second the thought.

Wow! That dress looks like
it was sprayed on.

I beg your pardon?

Yes, sir.

That is a tight dress,
is what that is.

Well, I'm sorry if I'm wearing
something inappropriate.

Inappropriate?
Oh, oh, no, no.

Not at all, Miss Thatcher.

That's a very charming dress.

I shouldn't have
been so personal.

Well, I don't mind your being
personal, Mr. Stephens.

To tell you the truth, I wore
this dress especially for you.

I hoped it would get to you.

It's two sizes too small,

and I thought it would be nice
for you to notice

that I was a woman.

Just once.

Uh, Miss Thatcher--

I-- I was just kidding.

Really. I don't know
what made me say that.

Yes, well, um...

that makes us even.

I'll take that in here.

I wish you would.

Mr. Stephen's office.

Well, just a moment, Mr. Burke.

I'll see if he's in.

Mr. Burke wants to know
if you've done anything

on his advertising campaign.

I haven't done a thing.

I'd better tell him I had the
chicken pox or something.

Hello, Mr. Burke.
How are you?

No, I haven't.
Not a darn thing.

Well, uh, no, Mr. Burke.

I haven't forgotten about you.

It's just that I've been
snowed under with other things.

To tell you the truth,
I haven't been able to work up

any enthusiasm for your product.

Now, look, Mr. Burke,

we have a lot more important
clients than you, and--

The same to you, buddy!

Sorehead.

Am I mistaken,

or did you just throw an
account out the window?

Yeah, I did.
And it's about time too.

What's the matter
with you, Darrin?

An account's an account.

But there are some that just
aren't worth it.

And this is one of them.

And what's more, you knew it
when you gave it to me.

That's very unfair, Darrin.

It's the truth.

I wanted the Hotchkiss account.

I know how to sell
that dishwasher of his.

And besides, a raise
should go along with it.

What's bugging you
this morning, Darrin?

I gave you the Burke account
because I thought

it was a challenge.

And I want no part of it.

That's a miserable man,
a marginal product,

and I have no intention
of knocking myself out.

And you can stop making goo-goo
eyes at the Hotchkiss account,

because it's mine.

All mine.

Right, Larry. Sure.

And I hope you'll be in
a better mood when we come over

to your house tonight
with Mr. Hotchkiss and his wife.

Yeah, I'll try to be
a good boy.

Mm.

I'll see you tonight
at 7, Darrin.

I'm looking forward to it,
Larry.

Big shot!

What did you stop me for?

What is it I'm
supposed to have done?

You know what you did, Mister.
You went through a red light.

That light turned yellow

just as I was going
through the intersection.

It was red all the way through.

It was yellow,
and you know it!

Come on, now, tell the truth.

May I see your driver's li--?

Yeah, it was yellow, all right.

You admit it?

Yeah. You got me.

Then what did
you flag me down for?

Oh, I was feeling lousy and...

I just felt like I had
to hang one on somebody.

It always makes me feel better,
when I get this way.

Do you get this way often?

You would too.

I've got two enemies
who are trying to destroy

my natural good nature.

My sergeant by day
and my wife by night.

Well, you've got it rough.

Trying to keep people
from killing one another,

and all you get in return is a
nasty look for all your trouble.

Gee, mister, you really
understand.

You know... you don't meet up
with your kind very often.

Well, I don't feel
this way very often.

Now, would you mind removing
yourself from my car?

I'd like to go home.

Okay, buddy.

But don't go through
that light again,

or I'll throw the book at you!

Sam, I'm home.

Fine, Darrin.
Be down in a minute.

Okay.

[Endora] Yoo-hoo!

Hello, David.

Did you have a nice day?

Would you mind flying down
from your roost?

My, we are testy today,
aren't we?

I don't know.
I'm... just not myself today.

Oh, you're wrong.

You're very much yourself today.

Exactly what is that
supposed to mean?

Hi there.

Hi, darling.

What kind of a kiss is that?

A cautious kiss.

I didn't want
a roller in the eye.

Oh, honey, I'm sorry.

But I had to do
my hair for tonight.

You don't mind, do you?

Sure I do.
All men do.

If women only realized how
ridiculous and unfeminine

they looked with all that
hardware in their hair...

You want me
to look pretty, don't you?

Well, look at it this way.

How would you feel if I
came tripping down the stairs

with shaving cream
all over my face

and offered you
my forehead to kiss?

Darrin?

I wouldn't be at my most
attractive, would I?

No. And you're not right now.

I find his honesty very
refreshing, Samantha.

Well, thank you, Mom.

You're welcome.

Well, if this side of me
is so distressing,

I'll go back upstairs.

Oh, Sam.
Sweetheart.

Darling, you are
the one woman in the world

who can get away with it.

Even if you tried, you
couldn't be... not beautiful.

Aw.

My! That's the sweetest,

whitest little lie
I ever heard.

All right, Mother,
that'll do.

Oh, what's that?

Oh, that's from
Uncle Herbert.

It arrived at the office today.

Hey... you should have
seen the dress

my secretary was wearing today.

Mm-mmm, boy!

Couldn't keep your eyes
off of her, I suppose.

Well, it wasn't easy.

Of course, you can't
compare her with Sam.

Miss Thatcher's--

Well, you take her
out of that dress and--

Is everything set for dinner?

Yes.

Oh, darling.

Don't let a little
thing like that bother you.

You know how men are
with their secretaries.

Now, wait a minute!

Wow.

Why don't you two go on
upstairs and get dressed.

I hope you have
a lovely evening.

Well, thank you, dear.

Don't worry about
your mother.

I'll find something to eat,
someplace.

Okay, fine.

By myself somewhere.

Maybe I won't bother.

When I'm alone,
I just don't have an appetite.

Why don't you stay
and have dinner with us?

Oh, darling,
that's very nice of you.

Are you sure that
I won't be in the way?

No, no. Of course not.

The Tates love seeing you.
Don't they, Darling?

Oh. Oh, yes, yes.

They really, certainly,
really, really, really do!

Don't overdo it, dear.

Seven o'clock, Samantha?

Yeah.
Seven o'clock.

Seven o'clock.

Oh.

Well, sir, I looked
that man straight in the eye

and I said, "Sir... give me
a chance to prove to you

"that a six-year-old
boy can handle

the toughest paper route
in town."

He did.
And I did.

And that's how
I got my start.

Ed, that's a wonderful,
heartwarming story.

Isn't it, Darrin?

Certainly is, Larry.
Rice drink, Mr. Hotchkiss?

Oh, thank you.

I'll have one, Darrin.

Stephens, that's a cute
wife you've got there.

Maybe she could help us write
a few slogans for my dishwasher.

I'm afraid I'm not very good
at that sort of thing.

Yes, it does take
a little talent, doesn't it?

Larry, that reminds me.

I thought of a great slogan for
my dishwasher today.

I'll let you
have it for nothing.

Great, Ed.
Let's hear it.

Everybody ready?

Frances.

You're absolutely right, Ed.

I haven't said anything yet.

What was the slogan,
Mr. Hotchkiss?

Well, this is going to kill you.

Here's how it goes.

"Confucius say,
Don't be wishy-washy.

Buy a Hotchkiss
dishy-washy."

Hey, that's... great, Ed.

Uh, Darrin,
make a note of that,

we'll discuss it
at the meeting tomorrow.

Sure.
Sure, Larry.

I won't have to make
a note of that

because... I won't forget it.

How could I forget anything
as ridiculous as that.

What was that you said?

"Wishy-washy, dishy-washy."
You must be kidding, Ed.

[Tate] Now, Darrin...

you've got to admit
that it's pretty catchy.

Watch yourself, Darrin.

Don't get nervous, Larry.

I know Hotchkiss
is a pet of yours.

That's right, buddy boy.

And if anybody's gonna
laugh at a pet client of mine,

it's gonna be me!

"Confuciussay..."

Did you ever hear of
anything as ridiculous.

I've heard better ones from
a ten-year-old child.

Darrin... Larry,
don't tease Mr. Hotchkiss.

They always do this
with a new client.

[Louise] It's a, sort of, um,

fraternity initiation.

Junior high school fraternity.

You must lose
a lot of clients that way.

Oh, no. We only do it to clients
who have a good sense of humor.

Yeah.
Like you, Ed!

Yeah. Ha-ha!

Well, that's one thing
you can say about me

without fear of contradiction.

Right, Frances?

Whatever you say, Ed.

A sense of humor has always been

an important ingredient
in my success.

I've always been able
to laugh at misfortune,

even during the grim days,

when I was
pulling myself up the ladder.

Rung by rung I worked myself up
into the appliance business, until--

Knock it off, Ed.

What did you say, Frances?

You didn't work your way
into the appliance business.

You were kicked into it
by my father

who gave you $25 thousand
when we got married.

How can you say
a thing like that?

It's very easy.

It's the truth.

But--

Darrin...
what'd you put in those drinks?

I don't know, but I'm
willing to give you odds

we never make it to dinner.

Now...

Frances, take it eas--

Give him both barrels, honey.

You'll feel better.

Louise!

You know, I've been
clamming up for years

while he's been playing "I
Love Me" on his big trombone.

And don't you ever...

snap your fingers at me again.

Say, why don't we all
have another drink, huh?

Samantha, is dinner
almost ready?

Hmm?

[Louise] Dinner may be
ready, but Frances isn't.

She has a few more things
to say. Haven't you, honey?

Hmm. Plenty.

But this will do for starters.

The odds against dinner
are going up.

I'll be going up
straight through the ceiling

if you don't do something.

Okay, honey.

You know, uh...
a little bit of frankness

can be a very refreshing
and healthy thing.

But a lot of frankness
is a gasser!

What's come over you?

You interrupted me.

Darrin!

You never talked like this ever.

Well, it's about time
somebody did,

and it's about time
you listened!

Hold on, Darrin!

Darrin, listen--

You stay out of this, Sam.

I can handle this, Larry.

I think it's time for dinner,
everyone.

You might begin
by listening to your wife.

And then your advertising
representatives.

Keep going. Go on.
You're making lots of sense.

[Ed] I've waited for
years for you to stop being

that silent, suffering martyr.

You picked a beautiful time
to turn yourself on.

Silent martyr?

Now, you look here, Ed.

Now, just a minute, folks.

I'm not finished yet!

I think it's time
for dinner, everyone.

Larry?

Uh... I think we ought to postpone
this little discussion until...

...right now!

There are ways and ways
of handling an account,

and I don't think
this is any of them!

[Darrin] Now look,
Ed, we don't tell you how

to make
your dishwashers.

We don't have to,
you make a good one.

But we don't need amateurs telling us
how to conduct your advertising campaign.

Well, let's go in,
everyone.

We might as well
fight this out over dinner.

Darrin, let him
tell him off.

It's his account!

Louise, if I want your help,
I'll ask for it!

You leave her alone. She's
a fine, courageous woman.

Oh, for heaven's sakes,
where's your manners?

We're guests in this house.

Oh, that's perfectly all right,
really.

This is my house too,

and I give Frances permission
to say anything she wants.

Go ahead, Frances.

Well, why aren't
you laughing, Ed? Huh?

Where's that sense of
humor that carried you through

those dark days when you
were climbing that ladder?

Why don't we let it wait
until after dinner?

Good morning, daughter.

Good morning.

Is there anything
you'd like to discuss

with your dear old mother?

Like last night's
disaster, for example?

Wasn't it awful?

Well, as I said, that's
what you have to expect

when human beings
are forced to tell the truth.

Oh.

Mother!

Isn't that right,
my little friend?

Then Darrin's Uncle Herbert
didn't send that. You did.

That's right.

It's a little truth god.

Hi, sweetheart.
Coffee ready yet?

No, I haven't put it
on yet.

Oh. Well, then, how come--?

Oh.

Darrin... before you come
any closer,

I think you ought to know
that... Mother sent that.

And any human that comes near it
has to say what's on his mind.

You see? They just can't
stand the truth.

Any of them.

That was a mean, low,

sneaky, underhanded trick.

Yes, it was.

And I'm quite pleased
with myself.

It was at the party
last night.

Mother kept it rather busy.

That's what caused
all the trouble.

Oh, fine. Great.

Then all I have to do
is tell Larry

that we were all under the
influence of a magic statue.

He'll understand.
Simple.

Here's your chance
to explain.

He's coming up the walk
right now.

Have fun, children.

Moth--!

Oh!

Darling, I'm sorry.

It's all right.

Darrin... you made a fool
of yourself last night.

And you darn near
made one of me.

Appeared to me that everyone
was doing a pretty good job

on themselves...
including you.

Oh, good morning, Samantha.
Lovely dinner.

If you want some,
it's still out in the kitchen.

I tell you, I stayed up
practically all night

trying to calm down
Hotchkiss and his wife.

Not to mention Louise.

Oh, I salvaged the account,

but I do think I'm entitled
to an apology from you.

Well, Larry, I--

[Samantha] There's no reason
for Darrin to make an apology.

I'm afraid you'll just have to
get along without one.

Well, maybe I can get along
without him at the office too.

[Darrin] Why don't you try?

You've got a deal.

And it's the worst deal
I ever made.

I need you
at the office, Darrin.

You know that.
I can't get along without you.

Oh, that's nice to hear,
isn't it, Darrin?

What about
Mr. and Mrs. Hotchkiss?

Well...

to tell the truth, I wasn't
up with them last night.

He called me this morning.

It seems that they continued
the donnybrook they were having

last night and cleared up a
lot of old misunderstandings.

They're happy as larks.

Oh, how sweet.

Did they say anything
about Darrin?

As a matter of fact, he did.

He said Darrin was right
about the slogan,

and that we know more about
advertising than he does.

He thinks Darrin's
a great guy.

Well, that--
That's fine, Larry.

You'll be
down at the office later then?

Of course, I will, Larry.
I'll be there.

As soon as I get a raise

and full responsibility
for the Hotchkiss account.

What?

You drive a hard bargain,
Darrin.

But okay.

See you at the office.

Thank you, sweetheart.

Where's the statue?

Right here, Mother.

You were wrong.

Nothing but good seems
to have come from the truth.

Well, you can't
win them all.

Anything you'd
like to say, dear?

Darling, you're beautiful,
sweet, charming, adorable,

and I love you madly.

There, you hear that?

And that's the truth.

But your mother is
an irritating, meddling--

Darrin.
I'm not finished yet.

I'm gonna say
a lot more.

Oh, no you're not.

As I was saying,

your mother is an irritating,
meddling, nasty--

Well, I guess I told her.

Guess you did.