Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,420 --> 00:00:05,923
Good afternoon,
Mrs. Stephens? Yes?
2
00:00:05,964 --> 00:00:08,592
I'm Dr. Passmore.
Is Mr. Stephens in?
3
00:00:08,634 --> 00:00:10,885
No, I'm sorry he isn't,
but I expect him soon.
4
00:00:10,928 --> 00:00:13,722
Won't you come in, doctor?
Well, thank you.
5
00:00:15,057 --> 00:00:17,351
Oh, uh, just by way
of introduction,
6
00:00:17,392 --> 00:00:20,771
I am chief psychiatrist
at Meadowbrook Rest Home.
7
00:00:20,812 --> 00:00:22,523
Our guests are
aware of the fact
8
00:00:22,564 --> 00:00:24,024
that this is
the centennial of the year
9
00:00:24,066 --> 00:00:25,817
which marked the end
of the War Between the States
10
00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:28,779
and, uh, they'd like
to do something about it.
11
00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:31,365
Aren't they a bit late?
12
00:00:31,406 --> 00:00:35,034
Mrs. Stephens, they would like
to commemorate the event.
13
00:00:35,077 --> 00:00:38,705
Yes, of course. Uh, well, uh,
what's this got to do with Darrin?
14
00:00:38,747 --> 00:00:42,584
Well, it's necessary for us to
inform the public of our undertaking.
15
00:00:42,626 --> 00:00:44,043
That means advertising.
16
00:00:44,086 --> 00:00:46,213
And I understand your husband
excels in that field.
17
00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:47,464
Oh, he does!
18
00:00:47,506 --> 00:00:50,008
And it sounds like
a wonderful idea.
19
00:00:50,008 --> 00:00:51,468
I'm sure I can
vouch for Darrin.
20
00:00:51,510 --> 00:00:53,262
I'm certain he'll be happy
to do your publicity.
21
00:00:53,303 --> 00:00:54,471
Oh, really?
22
00:00:54,513 --> 00:00:56,306
Then I may
depend upon it?
23
00:00:56,348 --> 00:00:57,599
For such a worthy cause?
24
00:00:57,599 --> 00:00:59,434
I give you my word.
25
00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:02,020
You gave him your word?!
26
00:01:02,187 --> 00:01:05,524
Honey, I'm right in the middle
of planning the Jarvis account,
27
00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:07,568
I'm drawing
the Slater TV Commercials,
28
00:01:07,609 --> 00:01:08,860
and I'm racing
the time clock
29
00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:10,904
planning that Murphy's
Supermarket opening,
30
00:01:10,946 --> 00:01:12,406
and you gave him
your word!
31
00:01:12,447 --> 00:01:13,490
Darrin, please...
32
00:01:13,532 --> 00:01:15,825
Well, then I'll give you
my word. In a word, no!
33
00:01:15,825 --> 00:01:18,870
I thought you wanted me to be
interested in these civic things.
34
00:01:18,996 --> 00:01:20,163
I do.
35
00:01:20,372 --> 00:01:22,874
So, what are you doing
for this noble project?
36
00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:25,419
Sam, I couldn't do it
even if I wanted to.
37
00:01:25,459 --> 00:01:28,964
My knowledge of the Civil War
is slightly less than limited.
38
00:01:29,006 --> 00:01:31,465
I could help.
Mine's perfect.
39
00:01:33,677 --> 00:01:35,012
Hello?
40
00:01:36,471 --> 00:01:39,057
Oh, hello, uh,
Dr. Passmore.
41
00:01:39,850 --> 00:01:43,604
Well, I'm...
happy to do it.
42
00:01:43,645 --> 00:01:47,482
Oh-- Oh, well, uh,
could I make a suggestion?
43
00:01:47,524 --> 00:01:50,986
I think my wife
would be perfect for it.
44
00:01:51,069 --> 00:01:53,488
Oh, yes, an expert.
45
00:01:54,197 --> 00:01:55,741
She'll do it.
46
00:01:56,283 --> 00:01:58,076
I give you my word.
47
00:01:58,702 --> 00:01:59,870
Bye.
48
00:02:01,371 --> 00:02:02,331
Do what?
49
00:02:02,331 --> 00:02:03,457
Write the pageant.
50
00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:04,916
Write the--?
51
00:02:04,916 --> 00:02:06,168
Me?!
52
00:02:58,804 --> 00:03:00,138
Hello, Mother.
53
00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:04,976
It's a wise child
who knows her own mother.
54
00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:08,897
Darling, I thought we could
spend some time with each other.
55
00:03:08,939 --> 00:03:10,691
Nope.
Can't.
56
00:03:10,732 --> 00:03:12,234
I'm writing a play.
57
00:03:12,275 --> 00:03:14,528
Just started four hours ago.
58
00:03:14,569 --> 00:03:16,279
Oh, really?
59
00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:18,115
What's it about?
60
00:03:18,156 --> 00:03:20,157
The American Civil War.
61
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,410
Ohhh.
62
00:03:21,451 --> 00:03:23,662
Well, the simple stories
are always the best.
63
00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:27,416
Oh, I wish Darrin hadn't given
my word I'd do this.
64
00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:30,419
Well, maybe I could
be of some help. How?
65
00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:32,546
Well, I could
be your secretary.
66
00:03:32,587 --> 00:03:35,215
I can type faster
than anybody.
67
00:03:35,257 --> 00:03:36,967
Watch this...
68
00:03:43,807 --> 00:03:48,186
"The quick brown fox
jumped over the lazy mrpldrk?"
69
00:03:51,481 --> 00:03:52,607
Oh.
70
00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:55,527
Well, I said I was fast,
not accurate.
71
00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:57,446
Thank you, Mother, but I'm
afraid this is one thing
72
00:03:57,487 --> 00:03:59,197
I'm gonna have to do
for myself.
73
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:02,284
All right, all right,
darling. Be independent.
74
00:04:02,325 --> 00:04:05,370
Just do it the hard way.
75
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:14,421
[Sam] Hope you like
my script for the pageant.
76
00:04:16,005 --> 00:04:21,595
Well, I'll, uh, go change,
and then I'll fix dinner.
77
00:04:24,514 --> 00:04:26,850
It's still very rough.
78
00:04:26,892 --> 00:04:28,142
Mm-hmm.
79
00:04:28,185 --> 00:04:30,562
Don't expect too much.
What?
80
00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:33,857
Oh, okay, honey,
a sandwich would be fine.
81
00:04:47,913 --> 00:04:50,123
Well?
82
00:04:50,165 --> 00:04:51,541
Well, whatever it is
you've been cooking
83
00:04:51,583 --> 00:04:53,835
certainly smells good,
sweetheart.
84
00:04:53,877 --> 00:04:55,796
We're having
cold cuts.
85
00:04:55,837 --> 00:04:57,505
Oh.
86
00:04:57,547 --> 00:04:59,174
That bad, huh?
87
00:04:59,174 --> 00:05:01,802
Oh, it's not bad
for a first try.
88
00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:03,845
Worth a second?
89
00:05:03,887 --> 00:05:06,890
Go on, Darrin,
you can be honest.
90
00:05:06,932 --> 00:05:09,476
Well, darling, to tell the
truth, it's the characters.
91
00:05:09,517 --> 00:05:13,438
They're... kind of stereotyped,
one dimensional.
92
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:14,940
You've got to
flesh them out.
93
00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:16,983
Think of them
as real people.
94
00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:20,695
Well, I've learned something very
important tonight. What's that?
95
00:05:20,737 --> 00:05:24,741
Never let your husband criticize
on an empty stomach!
96
00:05:28,702 --> 00:05:30,872
Oh, my stars!
97
00:05:35,377 --> 00:05:38,964
Now, don't tell me you
haven't finished, Samantha.
98
00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:39,964
Oh.
99
00:05:40,005 --> 00:05:41,716
I had the wrong slant,
Mother.
100
00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:42,926
I'm starting again.
101
00:05:42,968 --> 00:05:46,263
Well, do you realize the war
might take longer to write
102
00:05:46,303 --> 00:05:48,723
than it did to fight?
103
00:05:48,765 --> 00:05:52,519
My problem, according to Darrin,
the critic, is my characters--
104
00:05:52,561 --> 00:05:55,355
He thinks-- He thinks
I should flesh them out more.
105
00:05:55,397 --> 00:05:57,023
Well, I think that's
an excellent idea.
106
00:05:57,065 --> 00:05:59,860
Place them in front of you,
so you can see them better.
107
00:05:59,901 --> 00:06:02,863
And then you'll be able
to write them better.
108
00:06:02,904 --> 00:06:04,197
You might have a point.
109
00:06:04,238 --> 00:06:06,032
Well, I'll leave
you with it.
110
00:06:06,074 --> 00:06:12,706
Just bear in mind, darling :
Write mortal, think witch.
111
00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:18,253
Uh-huh...
112
00:06:18,295 --> 00:06:20,171
Let's see...
113
00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:27,678
Captain Corcoran...
114
00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:29,890
my hero...
115
00:06:29,931 --> 00:06:32,017
My hero, hmm.
116
00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:35,520
If you're so great, how come
you're so one-dimensional?
117
00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:37,898
It would help to see you better.
118
00:06:39,315 --> 00:06:41,776
Captain Corcoran...
119
00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:44,446
Tall...
120
00:06:45,779 --> 00:06:47,532
handsome...
121
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:49,826
courageous...
122
00:06:49,868 --> 00:06:52,287
intelligent!
123
00:06:59,044 --> 00:07:02,464
Oh... my!
124
00:07:02,505 --> 00:07:05,842
Not bad!
Not bad at all!
125
00:07:05,884 --> 00:07:09,888
Oh, yes, Captain Corcoran,
I think you'll do very nicely.
126
00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:12,265
My, what a beautiful horse.
127
00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:15,602
But that beard will have to go.
128
00:07:15,644 --> 00:07:17,479
Never!
129
00:07:18,229 --> 00:07:19,773
I beg your pardon?
130
00:07:19,814 --> 00:07:23,902
A Confederate officer
without his beard?
131
00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:25,570
Why, I'd die of shame, ma'am.
132
00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:28,448
I would.
I'd just die of shame.
133
00:07:28,490 --> 00:07:31,451
Now, listen here, if it weren't
for my vivid imagination,
134
00:07:31,493 --> 00:07:33,244
you wouldn't be here
in the first place,
135
00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:34,746
beard or no beard!
136
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:36,247
So, what I say goes.
137
00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:37,499
But, I tell you, ma'am,
138
00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:40,543
if I have to face the enemy
clean-shaven,
139
00:07:40,585 --> 00:07:43,964
why, I'd rather lose the war!
140
00:07:44,005 --> 00:07:45,131
You're Southern!
141
00:07:45,173 --> 00:07:46,466
You did lose!
142
00:07:46,508 --> 00:07:49,761
Don't dampen
my spirits, ma'am.
143
00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:51,721
I don't know that yet.
144
00:08:02,065 --> 00:08:03,483
Aah!
145
00:08:03,525 --> 00:08:07,153
Let me show you, ma'am,
this is the way it should go.
146
00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:08,738
Yee-ah-ha-ha-ha-hoo!
147
00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:11,700
Charge!
148
00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:12,742
No.
149
00:08:12,784 --> 00:08:15,537
I think you were
better off in my mind.
150
00:08:30,468 --> 00:08:32,345
Yeah.
All right.
151
00:08:32,386 --> 00:08:35,390
Now, let's see
how you turned out.
152
00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:40,311
Hey, not bad,
you know?
153
00:08:40,352 --> 00:08:42,188
Nice headband.
154
00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:43,857
Hey, you've got
pretty good taste.
155
00:08:43,898 --> 00:08:46,609
I think you've done
a first-rate job.
156
00:08:46,651 --> 00:08:50,113
Well, there's only one small
comment. Well, what's that?
157
00:08:50,155 --> 00:08:53,408
Well, what's an Indian doing
in the American Civil War?
158
00:08:53,450 --> 00:08:57,746
Well, I wanted somebody without any
political allegiance to either side.
159
00:08:57,787 --> 00:08:59,456
Sort of a chorus.
160
00:08:59,497 --> 00:09:01,583
Now, may I ask you a question?
Mm-hmm?
161
00:09:01,624 --> 00:09:03,418
Why don't you talk
like an Indian?
162
00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:05,628
Well, why don't you
think like one?
163
00:09:05,670 --> 00:09:07,964
Because I don't have
a cliché mind.
164
00:09:08,006 --> 00:09:09,506
Well, that's fine with me.
165
00:09:09,506 --> 00:09:11,551
I mean, I hate
to say lines like,
166
00:09:11,593 --> 00:09:14,429
"White man speak
with forked tongue."
167
00:09:14,471 --> 00:09:16,056
Let me worry
about that, please.
168
00:09:16,097 --> 00:09:18,892
Well, no, I mean, I was just
mentioning it, you know?
169
00:09:18,933 --> 00:09:22,020
"Ugh" is out too.
170
00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:25,940
I'd like to see how my two
characters measure up to each other.
171
00:09:28,109 --> 00:09:29,861
Miss Samantha, ma'am,
172
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:31,696
uh, would it be
impertinent of me
173
00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:34,115
to suggest a bit
of love-interest?
174
00:09:34,157 --> 00:09:35,116
Good man!
175
00:09:35,158 --> 00:09:37,077
I meant for me.
176
00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:38,660
You're absolutely
right.
177
00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:42,415
What you need is a lovely,
young girl from Pennsylvania.
178
00:09:42,457 --> 00:09:44,501
A Northern girl?!
179
00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:46,044
Yes, that's right.
180
00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:47,378
But you love each other,
181
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:49,255
even though her sympathies
are with the North.
182
00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:51,256
Hey, that's
a pretty good conflict.
183
00:09:51,299 --> 00:09:53,384
Oh, thank you.
184
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:56,471
Johnny,
Johnny, Johnny.
185
00:09:56,513 --> 00:09:58,098
Don't leave me,
Johnny!
186
00:09:58,139 --> 00:10:00,600
Oh, no, sugar!
187
00:10:00,642 --> 00:10:03,061
All right, all right,
let's not overdo it!
188
00:10:04,062 --> 00:10:05,647
Ooh!
You'd better go.
189
00:10:05,688 --> 00:10:08,817
Oh, we just gettin'
started, ma'am!
190
00:10:08,857 --> 00:10:11,820
Well, I can't let people
see you here.
191
00:10:18,701 --> 00:10:21,037
Oh, hi, Mrs. Kravitz!
Hello, Mrs. Stephens.
192
00:10:21,078 --> 00:10:23,915
I don't want to bother you
if you have company.
193
00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:25,125
No, no,
I'm alone.
194
00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:26,126
You're alone?
195
00:10:26,167 --> 00:10:27,961
Oh, you are?
196
00:10:28,002 --> 00:10:30,380
Well, I--
I see you are.
197
00:10:30,421 --> 00:10:31,756
Well, I won't
keep you.
198
00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:34,801
I just came to borrow a cup
of horse-- Oh, sugar.
199
00:10:34,843 --> 00:10:37,053
Well, I'd be happy
to get it for you.
200
00:10:37,095 --> 00:10:38,429
Thank you.
Won't you come in?
201
00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:41,516
Uh, no, no, I'll stay
right here, thank you.
202
00:10:49,691 --> 00:10:51,317
Oh!
203
00:10:51,359 --> 00:10:54,028
Mrs. Stephens
said she was alone!
204
00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:54,988
She is.
205
00:10:55,029 --> 00:10:57,157
Well... what about
the two of you?
206
00:10:57,198 --> 00:10:58,366
Oh, we're
not real.
207
00:10:58,408 --> 00:11:00,326
We're just something
she dreamed up.
208
00:11:00,368 --> 00:11:02,078
Oh, that's crazy!
209
00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:03,163
Isn't it though?
210
00:11:03,203 --> 00:11:04,956
We're right
out of her mind.
211
00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:06,082
C'mon.
212
00:11:07,375 --> 00:11:08,458
Abner!
213
00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:10,336
Abner!
Help!
214
00:11:12,881 --> 00:11:14,674
Help! Help!
215
00:11:14,716 --> 00:11:15,967
Abner!
216
00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:16,968
Abner!
217
00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:18,803
Aaaaaaah!
218
00:11:20,096 --> 00:11:21,472
What are you
doing here?
219
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:22,640
Well, how should
I know?
220
00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:24,934
You thought about us,
and here we are.
221
00:11:24,976 --> 00:11:27,352
You mean all I had to do
was think about you?
222
00:11:27,395 --> 00:11:29,314
Samantha?
223
00:11:29,355 --> 00:11:31,065
Oops,
there's Darrin.
224
00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:32,066
Now, you better leave.
225
00:11:32,107 --> 00:11:33,359
Well, can't we
meet him?
226
00:11:33,401 --> 00:11:34,527
No.
227
00:11:34,569 --> 00:11:36,362
He isn't used
to this sort of thing.
228
00:11:36,404 --> 00:11:39,199
At least give me
a chance to explain.
229
00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:40,575
Okay.
230
00:11:41,659 --> 00:11:43,203
How do I get rid of you?
231
00:11:43,244 --> 00:11:45,788
Try making
your mind a blank.
232
00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:50,877
Good.
233
00:11:50,919 --> 00:11:53,213
What's Mrs. Kravitz
so hysterical about?
234
00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:55,881
Well, you know
Mrs. Kravitz.
235
00:11:55,924 --> 00:11:57,008
Yeah.
236
00:12:03,431 --> 00:12:05,225
Who are they?
237
00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:07,602
Who are who?
238
00:12:08,602 --> 00:12:11,439
I see an Indian,
a girl in a long dress,
239
00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:13,316
and a Confederate officer...
240
00:12:13,357 --> 00:12:14,567
with his horse.
241
00:12:14,609 --> 00:12:17,695
You see an Indian,
a girl in a long dress,
242
00:12:17,695 --> 00:12:19,905
and a Confederate officer
with his horse!
243
00:12:19,948 --> 00:12:21,157
Sam!
244
00:12:21,199 --> 00:12:23,743
Well, now, Darrin,
please try not to be angry.
245
00:12:23,785 --> 00:12:25,328
I-I know it's gonna
be kind of difficult
246
00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:26,621
for you to understand
at first.
247
00:12:26,663 --> 00:12:28,289
You see they're, uh...
248
00:12:28,331 --> 00:12:31,000
They're figments
of my imagination.
249
00:12:31,042 --> 00:12:31,793
Imagination?
250
00:12:31,833 --> 00:12:34,420
Characters in my play.
251
00:12:34,462 --> 00:12:35,630
That's ridiculous!
252
00:12:35,672 --> 00:12:37,381
Uh, look you people,
would you mind
253
00:12:37,423 --> 00:12:39,425
just going back
into her, uh, mind
254
00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:40,885
or wherever
you came from?
255
00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:43,846
Darrin, please
don't be upset.
256
00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:48,017
Well, I--
257
00:12:50,645 --> 00:12:52,438
What happened?
258
00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:54,274
I kissed you,
I guess.
259
00:12:54,315 --> 00:12:55,482
I know you kissed me,
260
00:12:55,525 --> 00:12:57,235
but what has that got
to do with anything?
261
00:12:57,277 --> 00:13:01,114
Well, when I kiss you I can't
think about anything else
262
00:13:01,155 --> 00:13:03,950
and when I stop thinking,
they disappear.
263
00:13:03,992 --> 00:13:05,201
Now you kiss me.
264
00:13:05,243 --> 00:13:06,285
Why, are they back?
265
00:13:06,327 --> 00:13:08,705
No, just for
the heck of it.
266
00:13:11,082 --> 00:13:15,295
And don't worry, darling,
I can control them.
267
00:13:25,929 --> 00:13:26,848
Hey, author.
268
00:13:26,889 --> 00:13:28,141
Hmm?
Sam!
269
00:13:28,182 --> 00:13:31,059
Oh. Yeah? Hey, we got a
great idea for the second act.
270
00:13:31,102 --> 00:13:33,521
Now, I'm guiding Violet
through the battlefield
271
00:13:33,563 --> 00:13:34,772
to see her lover...
Huh.
272
00:13:34,772 --> 00:13:35,982
You listening?
Yeah.
273
00:13:36,024 --> 00:13:38,192
There's a blinding
rainstorm...
274
00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:39,652
Sam!
275
00:13:41,029 --> 00:13:44,657
Now, look, all you characters
are gonna have to--
276
00:13:44,699 --> 00:13:46,200
Where's your horse?
277
00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:47,368
Sam!
278
00:13:48,285 --> 00:13:49,828
Okay.
279
00:13:49,871 --> 00:13:51,914
We're forced
to take cover.
280
00:13:51,956 --> 00:13:54,125
Now, when Violet
doesn't show up,
281
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:56,044
I think that she-- All
right, all right! Cut, cut!
282
00:13:56,085 --> 00:13:58,671
I've had it with you characters!
- -that Violet has been killed!
283
00:13:58,713 --> 00:14:01,006
Sam, will you stop thinking?
I'm trying to,
284
00:14:01,049 --> 00:14:03,426
but they seem to have
taken on lives of their own.
285
00:14:03,468 --> 00:14:06,971
Corcoran now decides
that life isn't worth living.
286
00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:08,056
Aww.
287
00:14:08,097 --> 00:14:10,266
Look, would you--?
288
00:14:10,808 --> 00:14:14,604
Hey, that's not bad!
289
00:14:15,730 --> 00:14:16,939
Now, get this.
290
00:14:16,981 --> 00:14:19,359
This could be
the big scene in the play.
291
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:21,652
The captain, he gets
on his horse,
292
00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:24,530
and he rides into
the blazing battlefield,
293
00:14:24,572 --> 00:14:26,616
where a band
of desperados...
294
00:14:34,916 --> 00:14:37,960
Sam, I can't understand
why you don't do something.
295
00:14:38,002 --> 00:14:38,961
You're a witch!
296
00:14:39,003 --> 00:14:41,422
With a perfectly normal
subconscious.
297
00:14:41,464 --> 00:14:43,633
And nobody can control
their subconscious.
298
00:14:43,674 --> 00:14:45,468
Besides that, since
I've started writing,
299
00:14:45,510 --> 00:14:47,136
I have an over-stimulated
imagination!
300
00:14:47,178 --> 00:14:48,763
Well, then, forget
the whole project!
301
00:14:48,805 --> 00:14:50,807
Tell Passmore
to get somebody else!
302
00:14:50,848 --> 00:14:53,226
Well, I can't go back
on my promise!
303
00:14:53,267 --> 00:14:54,602
Honey, he'll
understand.
304
00:14:54,644 --> 00:14:55,812
He's a psychiatrist!
305
00:14:55,853 --> 00:14:58,439
His life is filled
with broken promises!
306
00:14:58,481 --> 00:15:00,775
Darrin... Besides, I
see them everywhere!
307
00:15:00,817 --> 00:15:01,859
They're in
the bathroom!
308
00:15:01,859 --> 00:15:03,152
They're in the closets!
309
00:15:03,194 --> 00:15:04,445
I even saw them in--!
310
00:15:04,487 --> 00:15:05,446
Excuse me.
311
00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:06,906
I even--!
312
00:15:06,948 --> 00:15:09,742
Why am I even being
polite to him?
313
00:15:09,784 --> 00:15:13,121
What's the matter,
you don't like minority groups?
314
00:15:13,955 --> 00:15:15,915
[Gladys] Out of her mind!
315
00:15:15,957 --> 00:15:17,834
Gladys, you've talked
half the night about that.
316
00:15:17,875 --> 00:15:19,502
Now, if I hear it
one more time--
317
00:15:19,544 --> 00:15:23,798
The Indian came right out of her
mind and vanished into thin air!
318
00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:25,299
Okay, Gladys,
I've had enough!
319
00:15:25,341 --> 00:15:26,676
You're gonna see
a psychiatrist!
320
00:15:31,055 --> 00:15:32,306
Hello?
321
00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:34,767
Oh, hi, honey!
322
00:15:34,809 --> 00:15:35,977
Hi, sweetheart!
323
00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:37,353
I just finished the last poster.
324
00:15:37,395 --> 00:15:39,480
I'm gonna drop them off
at Dr. Passmore's office.
325
00:15:39,522 --> 00:15:42,400
Why don't you meet me there?
We'll have lunch afterwards.
326
00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:44,318
Give your mind a rest.
327
00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:45,528
Okay?
328
00:15:45,570 --> 00:15:47,738
I think it's very okay.
329
00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:49,073
I'll meet you there.
330
00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:50,241
Bye-bye.
331
00:15:51,492 --> 00:15:52,827
Hmm.
332
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:57,290
The mind is
a very puzzling thing.
333
00:15:57,331 --> 00:16:02,545
You see, these characters just
appear very real to you.
334
00:16:02,587 --> 00:16:04,547
That's because
you haven't seen them.
335
00:16:04,589 --> 00:16:06,716
Now, the Indian
is dressed in doeskin
336
00:16:06,757 --> 00:16:07,967
and is wearing a feather.
337
00:16:08,009 --> 00:16:10,052
And the soldier
has on a gray uniform,
338
00:16:10,094 --> 00:16:12,096
like they used to wear
during the Civil War.
339
00:16:12,138 --> 00:16:14,849
And the girl
has on a long gown.
340
00:16:14,891 --> 00:16:18,019
Mrs. Kravitz, I assure you,
they're all in your mind!
341
00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:21,689
No! I told you,
they're all in her mind!
342
00:16:21,731 --> 00:16:23,858
And then they vanished
into thin air!
343
00:16:23,900 --> 00:16:26,819
Now then, I want you
to repeat after me.
344
00:16:26,861 --> 00:16:29,697
"It's all in my mind."
345
00:16:29,739 --> 00:16:32,241
It's all in my mind.
346
00:16:32,283 --> 00:16:34,202
"It's all in my mind."
347
00:16:34,243 --> 00:16:35,912
It's all in my mind.
348
00:16:35,953 --> 00:16:38,414
"It's all in my mind."
349
00:16:38,456 --> 00:16:41,334
It's all in my mind.
350
00:16:41,375 --> 00:16:42,919
Yeah, that's better.
351
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:45,588
Now, I want you
to believe that.
352
00:16:45,630 --> 00:16:48,299
Do you?
No. Yes!
353
00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:50,134
Splendid!
354
00:16:51,385 --> 00:16:52,762
Very well.
355
00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:56,349
I want you to take
three of these every day
356
00:16:56,390 --> 00:16:57,975
for the next week.
357
00:17:01,229 --> 00:17:04,440
And, Mrs. Kravitz,
get out more.
358
00:17:04,482 --> 00:17:05,983
Get a hobby.
359
00:17:06,734 --> 00:17:08,444
Join things.
360
00:17:12,657 --> 00:17:15,451
Darrin Stephens
to see Dr. Passmore.
361
00:17:15,493 --> 00:17:17,787
It's all in the mind...
362
00:17:17,828 --> 00:17:19,789
Hi, Mrs. Kravitz!
363
00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:22,458
You too?
What?
364
00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:23,626
Save your money.
365
00:17:23,667 --> 00:17:25,294
It's all hallucinations.
366
00:17:25,336 --> 00:17:26,462
Get yourself a hobby,
367
00:17:26,504 --> 00:17:27,630
join things.
368
00:17:27,672 --> 00:17:29,632
It's all in the mind.
369
00:17:29,674 --> 00:17:32,510
I'm gonna be all right.
370
00:17:38,849 --> 00:17:41,310
Oh, good to see you,
Mr. Stephens.
371
00:17:41,352 --> 00:17:42,728
And Mrs. Stephens.
Doctor.
372
00:17:42,770 --> 00:17:46,148
Come right in, please.
Come right in.
373
00:17:46,190 --> 00:17:49,193
You, uh... You're ready
to show me the posters I see.
374
00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:50,653
Yes, right here.
375
00:17:50,695 --> 00:17:52,029
Here's the first one.
376
00:17:52,029 --> 00:17:54,407
I used this one to point
up the importance
377
00:17:54,448 --> 00:17:55,782
of commemorating the event.
378
00:17:55,825 --> 00:17:57,702
Very good!
379
00:17:57,743 --> 00:18:00,288
Very good indeed!
380
00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:03,791
Beautiful,
Mr. Stephens!
381
00:18:03,833 --> 00:18:07,920
Perfectly, perfectly
beautiful!
382
00:18:07,962 --> 00:18:11,340
Oh, you are
an artist indeed!
383
00:18:11,382 --> 00:18:15,845
You know, I must say
you've captured the--
384
00:18:17,805 --> 00:18:19,432
Mr. Stephens...?
385
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:23,477
You do that often?
386
00:18:24,061 --> 00:18:25,855
He's crazy about me!
387
00:18:25,896 --> 00:18:28,858
Uh, yes. I read, when
your wife is expecting,
388
00:18:28,898 --> 00:18:31,193
you should show her lots
of love and affection.
389
00:18:31,234 --> 00:18:32,528
Ah-ha.
390
00:18:32,570 --> 00:18:36,115
Well, there's a time and a place
for everything, Mr. Stephens.
391
00:18:36,157 --> 00:18:38,451
Uh, could I see
the next poster, please?
392
00:18:38,492 --> 00:18:40,077
Oh, certainly.
393
00:18:42,413 --> 00:18:45,875
I used very striking
colors in this one.
394
00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:53,132
Uh, I wanted to illustrate
here the importance
395
00:18:53,174 --> 00:18:55,718
of being involved
in such--
396
00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:57,178
Sam!
397
00:18:59,055 --> 00:19:01,849
Uh, who are they?
398
00:19:01,891 --> 00:19:03,601
Who are who?
399
00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:05,728
Well, I-I see an Indian...
400
00:19:05,770 --> 00:19:08,939
a girl in a long dress...
401
00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:12,151
and a Confederate officer...
with his horse!
402
00:19:12,193 --> 00:19:14,820
You see an Indian,
a girl in a long dress,
403
00:19:14,862 --> 00:19:17,657
and a Confederate officer
with his horse?
404
00:19:17,698 --> 00:19:19,325
How about that?
405
00:19:20,242 --> 00:19:22,662
Well, uh, thank you,
Mr. Stephens.
406
00:19:22,703 --> 00:19:24,830
Good to see you.
Thanks for stopping by.
407
00:19:24,872 --> 00:19:27,208
Well, good to see you,
doctor.
408
00:19:27,249 --> 00:19:28,501
Sam?
409
00:19:28,542 --> 00:19:30,961
Sam!
Wha--?
410
00:19:54,402 --> 00:19:56,946
It's all in my mind.
411
00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:00,491
It's all in my mind.
412
00:20:01,826 --> 00:20:04,286
It's all in my mind.
413
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:12,878
I don't know how I ever managed to
live through that. I'm only human.
414
00:20:13,921 --> 00:20:16,257
Well, you know
what I mean.
415
00:20:17,174 --> 00:20:20,886
Well, I hope
you're all satisfied!
416
00:20:20,928 --> 00:20:23,305
If you had one shred
of decency, you'd go back
417
00:20:23,347 --> 00:20:25,683
where you came from
and never darken my mind again!
418
00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:29,061
Leave? Well, what do you
think we've been trying to do?
419
00:20:29,103 --> 00:20:31,731
I'd love to go, ma'am.
420
00:20:31,772 --> 00:20:33,232
Uh, you're not
a bad writer,
421
00:20:33,273 --> 00:20:34,984
but you're no
Lillian Hellman!
422
00:20:35,025 --> 00:20:36,944
Trouble is,
we've no place to go.
423
00:20:36,986 --> 00:20:38,362
We don't have a home.
424
00:20:38,404 --> 00:20:39,363
Home?
425
00:20:39,405 --> 00:20:40,656
A plot.
426
00:20:40,698 --> 00:20:43,659
Now, how can we settle down
in a play unless we have a plot?
427
00:20:43,701 --> 00:20:46,162
We've been trying to tell you
how to finish this thing,
428
00:20:46,203 --> 00:20:47,830
but you haven't
been paying attention.
429
00:20:47,872 --> 00:20:49,248
Now, sit down.
430
00:20:49,290 --> 00:20:52,001
Now, that we're solid
three-dimensional characters,
431
00:20:52,042 --> 00:20:54,003
we'll help you
finish the play.
432
00:20:54,044 --> 00:20:55,838
Now, take this down.
433
00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:58,174
This is what happens...
434
00:20:58,215 --> 00:20:59,884
I say to the captain,
435
00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:02,178
"Captain, the war is over!
436
00:21:02,219 --> 00:21:03,804
The South has capitulated!"
437
00:21:03,846 --> 00:21:08,142
"Then it's the end
of everything!"
438
00:21:08,726 --> 00:21:10,019
Bang!
439
00:21:15,023 --> 00:21:16,984
I rush in,
I see them.
440
00:21:17,026 --> 00:21:19,695
"Ah, you killed the captain!
441
00:21:20,738 --> 00:21:21,864
You killed him!"
442
00:21:21,906 --> 00:21:24,492
"No, I--!"
Bang!
443
00:21:24,532 --> 00:21:25,910
"He was my friend!
444
00:21:25,951 --> 00:21:27,994
"He did it himself!
445
00:21:28,037 --> 00:21:31,791
"It was the only way
that he could die with...
446
00:21:31,832 --> 00:21:33,125
honor."
447
00:21:39,089 --> 00:21:44,261
"I hereby swear that I will
dedicate my entire life
448
00:21:44,261 --> 00:21:48,182
"to seeing that these fine men
did not die in vain!
449
00:21:48,224 --> 00:21:52,228
"Out of this black day,
a mighty nation will grow!
450
00:21:52,269 --> 00:21:56,106
Something good
will come of this!"
451
00:21:56,148 --> 00:21:59,484
The orchestra hits
"Glory, Glory, Hallelujah,"
452
00:21:59,527 --> 00:22:02,238
and as the music
swells to a crescendo,
453
00:22:02,279 --> 00:22:05,616
the curtain slowly falls.
454
00:22:06,075 --> 00:22:07,451
The end!
455
00:22:14,667 --> 00:22:16,167
It worked!
456
00:22:16,210 --> 00:22:18,546
Oh, Darrin, it worked!
457
00:22:18,587 --> 00:22:20,756
They've found a home!
458
00:22:20,798 --> 00:22:23,759
My heart-felt
congratulations.
459
00:22:23,801 --> 00:22:26,053
Don't I deserve a kiss
for that?
460
00:22:26,095 --> 00:22:27,763
Well, I don't know.
461
00:22:27,805 --> 00:22:29,431
What do you mean?
462
00:22:29,473 --> 00:22:32,601
Well, there doesn't seem to be
much point in kissing now.
463
00:22:32,643 --> 00:22:34,144
Darrin!
464
00:22:44,655 --> 00:22:46,699
That was quite
an experience.
465
00:22:46,740 --> 00:22:49,994
The sets and costumes
were lovely, but...
466
00:22:50,035 --> 00:22:52,079
ugh, those actors!
467
00:22:52,121 --> 00:22:54,080
Well, the actors
never quite live up
468
00:22:54,123 --> 00:22:57,001
to the conception
of the characters.
469
00:22:57,042 --> 00:22:58,627
Hey, by the way,
I saw you talking
470
00:22:58,669 --> 00:23:00,254
to a lady
after the show.
471
00:23:00,296 --> 00:23:02,590
Uh, it seemed like quite a big
conference. What was it all about?
472
00:23:02,631 --> 00:23:04,300
Would you like some coffee,
sweetheart?
473
00:23:04,340 --> 00:23:05,885
What was it
about, honey?
474
00:23:05,926 --> 00:23:07,469
Milk, tea,
hot cocoa?
475
00:23:07,511 --> 00:23:08,304
I'm not thirsty!
476
00:23:08,345 --> 00:23:09,847
You didn't answer
the question.
477
00:23:09,888 --> 00:23:11,348
Who was the lady?
478
00:23:11,348 --> 00:23:14,018
Oh, just a lady
from the Ladies' League.
479
00:23:14,059 --> 00:23:15,561
I'm listening.
480
00:23:15,603 --> 00:23:17,271
Oh, well they--
They want to put on
481
00:23:17,313 --> 00:23:19,064
sort of a vaudeville
show, you know?
482
00:23:19,106 --> 00:23:20,941
Song and dance acts, and...
483
00:23:20,983 --> 00:23:22,943
Sam, you didn't?
484
00:23:29,825 --> 00:23:30,951
Hello.
485
00:23:30,993 --> 00:23:33,119
I hope I'm not
disturbing anything.
486
00:23:33,162 --> 00:23:35,122
Oh, no.
We're all alone.
487
00:23:35,164 --> 00:23:36,498
Oh, good.
488
00:23:36,540 --> 00:23:38,626
I just wanted to tell
Mrs. Stephens
489
00:23:38,667 --> 00:23:39,627
how much I enjoyed--
490
00:23:39,667 --> 00:23:41,503
♪ I wanna hear it again ♪
491
00:23:41,545 --> 00:23:44,173
♪ I wanna hear it again ♪
492
00:23:44,214 --> 00:23:47,509
♪ "The Old Piano
Roll Blues" ♪
493
00:23:47,551 --> 00:23:49,803
♪ I wanna hear it again ♪
494
00:23:49,845 --> 00:23:51,722
♪ I wanna hear it again ♪
495
00:23:51,763 --> 00:23:56,602
♪ "The Old Piano
Roll Blues" ♪
496
00:23:56,644 --> 00:23:57,686
Sam!
497
00:23:57,728 --> 00:23:59,480
Yes, dear?
498
00:24:10,907 --> 00:24:12,952
Now, how will
I ever be sure that
499
00:24:12,993 --> 00:24:16,330
that will never
happen again?
500
00:24:16,372 --> 00:24:19,083
Well, I guess you'll
just have to give me
501
00:24:19,124 --> 00:24:21,126
lots of love and affection.
502
00:24:21,167 --> 00:24:23,712
Then I can promise
they won't be back.
503
00:24:23,754 --> 00:24:25,422
That's blackmail!
504
00:24:25,422 --> 00:24:27,549
Yes, I know.
34787
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof