Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:07,466 --> 00:00:09,635
Oh, hi there.
2
00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:11,595
Oh, I'm sorry,
honey.
3
00:00:11,637 --> 00:00:13,055
I didn't mean
to wake you up.
4
00:00:13,096 --> 00:00:15,015
That's okay.
5
00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:18,560
I have to
get up anyway.
6
00:00:18,602 --> 00:00:20,312
Mother's
popping in.
7
00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:21,939
Oh.
8
00:00:22,564 --> 00:00:26,693
Have you told her the news
about the baby yet?
9
00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:27,736
Well--
10
00:00:27,778 --> 00:00:28,862
Sam.
11
00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:32,991
I've been sort of
putting it off.
12
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:34,659
Oh.
13
00:00:35,409 --> 00:00:37,579
How do you, uh...?
14
00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:39,623
How do you think
she'll take it?
15
00:00:39,957 --> 00:00:41,625
I don't know.
16
00:00:42,209 --> 00:00:45,796
Somehow, Mother doesn't strike
me as the grandmother type.
17
00:00:45,837 --> 00:00:47,881
Well, she is just going
to have to get used to it.
18
00:00:47,923 --> 00:00:49,716
Now, you lie down
for another hour.
19
00:00:49,758 --> 00:00:51,343
I'm making breakfast.
20
00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:53,011
But I'm not
the least bit tired.
21
00:00:53,011 --> 00:00:54,930
Expectant mothers
are always tired.
22
00:00:54,930 --> 00:00:55,847
Why fight it?
23
00:00:55,973 --> 00:00:57,224
But I'm not,
really.
24
00:00:57,558 --> 00:00:59,685
Now, honey,
take it easy.
25
00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:01,687
You don't want to aggravate
those back pains.
26
00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:03,021
I don't have any.
27
00:01:03,021 --> 00:01:04,438
I'll get you something
for the morning sickness.
28
00:01:04,481 --> 00:01:06,525
I don't have
morning sickness.
29
00:01:06,566 --> 00:01:08,277
Don't do that,
honey.
30
00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:09,236
I'll make the bed.
31
00:01:09,278 --> 00:01:10,571
You mustn't
strain yourself.
32
00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:13,322
All right, Darrin.
33
00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:16,243
But I'm fine.
Really, I am.
34
00:01:16,285 --> 00:01:20,038
I don't have any of the usual
symptoms of pregnancy. Not one.
35
00:01:22,456 --> 00:01:24,001
Well...
36
00:01:24,042 --> 00:01:25,627
Maybe one.
37
00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:32,778
Oh, honey.
38
00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:34,029
I was hoping
you'd stay in bed.
39
00:02:34,029 --> 00:02:35,489
I was just bringing up
your breakfast.
40
00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:37,032
That's sweet,
darling,
41
00:02:37,032 --> 00:02:39,493
but I don't want you cooking
and cleaning up after me.
42
00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:41,995
And I don't want you lifting
a finger around here.
43
00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:43,413
Ha, ha!
How cute.
44
00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:44,456
You like that, huh?
Mm-hm.
45
00:02:44,456 --> 00:02:45,624
Now, you come on
over here
46
00:02:45,624 --> 00:02:46,917
and take the load off
our baby's feet.
47
00:02:46,958 --> 00:02:48,919
Darrin, you're going
to spoil me.
48
00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:50,504
Well, I already spoiled
your figure,
49
00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:52,714
I might as well spoil
the rest of you.
50
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:56,008
And here we are.
51
00:02:56,468 --> 00:02:58,762
Ooh.
52
00:02:58,762 --> 00:03:01,431
There's orange juice
for vitamin C. Mm-hm.
53
00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:03,433
Hot cereal
for protein.
54
00:03:03,433 --> 00:03:06,353
And milk for good,
strong bones.
55
00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:07,854
And last
but not least,
56
00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:11,108
the food most important to
an expectant mother's diet:
57
00:03:11,108 --> 00:03:12,150
Voilà!
58
00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:14,820
Ooh!
Marvelous!
59
00:03:14,820 --> 00:03:16,405
Honey, I think I've got
60
00:03:16,405 --> 00:03:18,115
a pretty good schedule
figured out.
61
00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:19,574
What for?
62
00:03:19,574 --> 00:03:20,617
Well, to help--
Oh.
63
00:03:20,659 --> 00:03:21,618
Where are you going?
64
00:03:21,618 --> 00:03:22,619
For the butter.
65
00:03:22,619 --> 00:03:23,912
Oh, the butter.
I forgot.
66
00:03:23,912 --> 00:03:25,330
Sit down.
67
00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:27,958
Darrin, how can
I convince you
68
00:03:27,958 --> 00:03:30,043
that I'm perfectly capable
of doing these things.
69
00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:32,629
I'm not an invalid.
I'm just expecting.
70
00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:34,506
Sweetheart, I wouldn't
be acting like this
71
00:03:34,506 --> 00:03:36,299
if you were
just expecting,
72
00:03:36,299 --> 00:03:38,468
but we're positive.
73
00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:40,470
Now, you promise
to take it easy.
74
00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:42,639
All right, Darrin.
75
00:03:42,639 --> 00:03:45,976
If it'll make you happy,
you can do all the work.
76
00:03:45,976 --> 00:03:48,812
But now you've got
to promise me something.
77
00:03:48,812 --> 00:03:50,564
Anything.
What?
78
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:53,358
When they wheel me into
the delivery room,
79
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,402
you let me take over.
80
00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:58,155
Okay, you got yourself
a deal.
81
00:04:04,870 --> 00:04:06,580
Darrin,
82
00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:08,373
would you check over
these layouts
83
00:04:08,373 --> 00:04:09,416
on the Stanwyck
account?
84
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:11,585
Yeah, sure,
Larry.
85
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:17,089
Oh!
86
00:04:17,089 --> 00:04:18,592
Darrin...
87
00:04:19,718 --> 00:04:21,011
I had two eggs for lunch
88
00:04:21,011 --> 00:04:23,053
that looked better
than your eyes.
89
00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:28,351
Well, I didn't get much sleep
last night, Larry.
90
00:04:29,728 --> 00:04:32,355
Having a baby
is pretty rough on a guy.
91
00:04:32,355 --> 00:04:33,732
Already?
92
00:04:33,732 --> 00:04:35,025
You just found out you were
going to be a father.
93
00:04:35,025 --> 00:04:36,193
I know, but I--
94
00:04:36,193 --> 00:04:37,694
No buts, Darrin.
95
00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:40,197
It's only rough
if you let it get rough.
96
00:04:40,238 --> 00:04:42,032
Look, Louise just had a baby,
remember?
97
00:04:42,032 --> 00:04:45,035
So I've been through
this diaper derby.
98
00:04:45,035 --> 00:04:47,204
You know, some women will pull
any trick in the book,
99
00:04:47,204 --> 00:04:49,539
if they think they can
get away with it.
100
00:04:49,539 --> 00:04:50,832
Larry, I appreciate
your interest,
101
00:04:50,832 --> 00:04:52,876
but there really
isn't any problem.
102
00:04:52,876 --> 00:04:53,960
Darrin,
103
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,086
I'm only telling you this
for your own good.
104
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:57,464
You've got to be
firm with Sam.
105
00:04:57,464 --> 00:04:58,548
Indifferent.
106
00:04:58,548 --> 00:05:01,218
Stop all this
catering to her.
107
00:05:01,218 --> 00:05:02,552
Okay, Larry.
108
00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:03,720
After I cook dinner tonight,
109
00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:07,265
I'll flatly refuse
to mop the floor.
110
00:05:07,349 --> 00:05:09,726
Go ahead, make jokes.
111
00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:12,229
But I've read up on
this motherhood routine.
112
00:05:12,229 --> 00:05:13,522
As a matter of fact,
113
00:05:13,522 --> 00:05:15,607
a well-known doctor has written
a book on the subject:
114
00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:17,484
The Joy of Labor
for Labor's Sake.
115
00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:21,738
The more active the mother,
the more she does for herself,
116
00:05:21,738 --> 00:05:24,366
the happier she'll be,
and the healthier the child.
117
00:05:24,366 --> 00:05:25,742
Really?
118
00:05:25,742 --> 00:05:27,952
Well, it makes sense
if you stop to think about it.
119
00:05:27,952 --> 00:05:30,914
You know, in the pioneer days,
women used to plow the fields,
120
00:05:30,914 --> 00:05:32,749
have their babies during
their lunch break,
121
00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:34,793
and go right on
plowing again.
122
00:05:34,793 --> 00:05:35,919
They did, didn't they?
123
00:05:35,919 --> 00:05:38,588
Well, take my wife, Louise.
124
00:05:38,588 --> 00:05:41,424
She played a round of golf
the day before she had the baby.
125
00:05:41,424 --> 00:05:42,592
Golf?
126
00:05:42,592 --> 00:05:45,303
Of course, it ruined
her backswing.
127
00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:50,225
Darrin, you must force yourself
to be sensible.
128
00:05:50,225 --> 00:05:52,769
And that's just what
you should do.
129
00:05:52,769 --> 00:05:54,479
Larry, I just
couldn't.
130
00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:56,273
You want a happy wife,
don't you?
131
00:05:56,273 --> 00:05:57,232
Naturally.
132
00:05:57,232 --> 00:05:59,192
You want a healthy child,
don't you?
133
00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:00,151
Of course.
134
00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:01,027
Well, then,
135
00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:03,238
at least try it,
for their sake.
136
00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:07,075
Maybe I should.
137
00:06:18,128 --> 00:06:18,962
Mother.
138
00:06:18,962 --> 00:06:22,966
Samantha,
how could you?
139
00:06:24,092 --> 00:06:25,218
You know.
140
00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:28,638
I was hoping that
it was just an ugly rumor.
141
00:06:28,638 --> 00:06:30,807
Mother, aren't you pleased?
142
00:06:30,849 --> 00:06:32,684
You're going to be
a grandmother.
143
00:06:32,684 --> 00:06:34,644
That's right,
144
00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:35,896
that's right.
145
00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:37,439
Twist the knife.
146
00:06:37,439 --> 00:06:41,693
Give me just one good reason
why I shouldn't have children.
147
00:06:41,693 --> 00:06:43,236
Don't you see?
148
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:46,615
You'll be tied to that
mortal oaf indefinitely.
149
00:06:46,615 --> 00:06:48,450
That's what I want.
150
00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:49,910
Oh, Samantha,
151
00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:51,452
you just don't
understand.
152
00:06:51,452 --> 00:06:54,831
He's turning you into
the typical housewife drudge.
153
00:06:54,831 --> 00:06:57,666
Oh, I can just see you
in a few years...
154
00:06:57,666 --> 00:06:59,628
surrounded
by diapers
155
00:06:59,669 --> 00:07:02,964
and bottles
and pacifiers
156
00:07:02,964 --> 00:07:06,009
and wall-to-wall
babies.
157
00:07:06,009 --> 00:07:09,137
Mother, tell me
something honestly.
158
00:07:09,178 --> 00:07:12,557
Aren't you just
a teeny-weeny bit pleased
159
00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:14,309
you're going to have
a grandchild?
160
00:07:14,309 --> 00:07:16,144
Honestly, now!
161
00:07:17,312 --> 00:07:21,024
Will you let me play with
the child whenever I want?
162
00:07:21,024 --> 00:07:22,692
Mm-hm.
163
00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:25,236
With absolutely no
responsibility?
164
00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:26,237
Mm-hm.
165
00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:29,366
You promise never
to call me "Granny"?
166
00:07:29,366 --> 00:07:31,368
If that's what
you want.
167
00:07:32,202 --> 00:07:33,536
Well...
168
00:07:33,578 --> 00:07:37,248
It might be
a bit diverting.
169
00:07:37,248 --> 00:07:39,501
I insist on
one thing, though.
170
00:07:39,501 --> 00:07:40,710
What's that?
171
00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:43,421
That you won't do this
the hard way.
172
00:07:43,421 --> 00:07:45,215
Promise me you'll use
a little witchcraft
173
00:07:45,215 --> 00:07:47,801
to make it easy for you
while you're expecting.
174
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:50,887
You know how I feel
about that, Mother.
175
00:07:50,929 --> 00:07:54,057
I want to be like any
mortal woman having a baby.
176
00:07:54,099 --> 00:07:56,518
I want to enjoy every
wonderful moment.
177
00:07:56,559 --> 00:07:57,644
Oh, Samantha,
178
00:07:57,644 --> 00:07:58,937
I will not have you
slaving away
179
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:01,439
while you're expecting
my grandchild.
180
00:08:01,439 --> 00:08:03,692
Ha, ha!
You are pleased.
181
00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:05,151
Well, the least
he could do
182
00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:08,738
is to get someone to help you
with the heavy work.
183
00:08:08,738 --> 00:08:10,615
Darrin can't do
enough for me.
184
00:08:10,615 --> 00:08:12,242
He's very sweet
and considerate,
185
00:08:12,242 --> 00:08:15,245
and won't let me lift a finger
when he's here.
186
00:08:15,245 --> 00:08:16,997
I can imagine.
187
00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:18,665
[Darrin] Sam, I'm home!
188
00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:21,334
The voice of the turtle.
189
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:23,420
In here, sweetheart.
190
00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:24,838
You'll see.
191
00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:27,799
He'll be furious
that I'm cooking dinner.
192
00:08:27,799 --> 00:08:30,802
He thinks
I should be resting.
193
00:08:32,470 --> 00:08:33,763
Hi, honey.
194
00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:35,890
Hello,
sweetheart.
195
00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:37,350
I was just
starting dinner.
196
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,436
Oh, good.
197
00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:40,645
I've had
a hard day.
198
00:08:40,645 --> 00:08:42,313
I think I'll take a little rest
till it's ready.
199
00:08:42,313 --> 00:08:44,982
[Endora] He
certainly is considerate.
200
00:08:47,569 --> 00:08:49,362
What's that supposed
to mean?
201
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:50,488
Nothing, dear.
202
00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:53,116
How
is everything going?
203
00:08:53,116 --> 00:08:55,452
Would you put this
on the stove for me?
204
00:08:56,828 --> 00:08:57,953
Well, do it yourself,
Sam.
205
00:08:57,953 --> 00:08:59,164
The exercise
will do you good.
206
00:08:59,164 --> 00:09:02,333
The prosecution
rests its case.
207
00:09:06,463 --> 00:09:10,008
Would you mind getting the corn
out of the vegetable bin?
208
00:09:10,008 --> 00:09:11,843
I don't like to do
too much bending.
209
00:09:11,843 --> 00:09:13,261
A little bending
is good for you.
210
00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:15,304
It strengthens
the stomach muscles.
211
00:09:15,304 --> 00:09:17,640
Darrin, what's gotten
into you?
212
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:18,850
Nothing.
213
00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:21,394
Give a yell when
dinner's ready, huh?
214
00:09:22,145 --> 00:09:24,272
Fix your own dinner.
215
00:09:29,652 --> 00:09:33,948
Why don't you put a couple of
pounds of lead in each pocket?
216
00:09:33,948 --> 00:09:35,992
It'll toughen up her legs.
217
00:09:35,992 --> 00:09:38,620
She's my wife, and I know
what's best for her.
218
00:09:38,620 --> 00:09:40,497
Well, she's also
my daughter,
219
00:09:40,538 --> 00:09:43,249
and I think you've been
treating her very shabbily.
220
00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:45,794
Especially at a time
like this.
221
00:09:45,794 --> 00:09:48,421
I happen to have done a little
research on the subject.
222
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:51,966
A very well-known doctor has
a new theory on childbirth,
223
00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:54,219
and I happen to agree
with him wholeheartedly.
224
00:09:54,219 --> 00:09:55,511
Now, if you let
a woman do it,
225
00:09:55,511 --> 00:09:57,554
she'll make a career
out of childbirth.
226
00:09:57,639 --> 00:09:59,432
I'm doing this
for Sam's good.
227
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:02,352
Believe me, I know every ache
and pain that she has,
228
00:10:02,352 --> 00:10:04,938
and it hurts me more
than it does her.
229
00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:06,481
It doesn't yet,
230
00:10:06,481 --> 00:10:07,482
but it will.
231
00:10:07,482 --> 00:10:08,566
I beg your pardon?
232
00:10:08,566 --> 00:10:10,568
Never mind.
233
00:10:30,338 --> 00:10:32,215
Yoo-hoo!
234
00:10:32,215 --> 00:10:34,134
Wake up!
235
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:35,718
Wake up, Darrin.
236
00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:37,761
Up, up!
237
00:10:37,761 --> 00:10:39,722
Oh, good morning,
sweetheart.
238
00:10:39,722 --> 00:10:41,141
Morning.
239
00:10:44,018 --> 00:10:44,894
How do you feel?
240
00:10:44,894 --> 00:10:46,563
Fine.
How do you feel?
241
00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:48,314
Well, not that good.
242
00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:49,566
My stomach's a bit queasy.
243
00:10:49,566 --> 00:10:51,234
Oh!
244
00:10:51,234 --> 00:10:52,819
Ah!
245
00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:54,112
What's the matter?
246
00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:58,533
Suddenly I got a backache.
247
00:10:58,533 --> 00:10:59,534
Oh.
248
00:10:59,534 --> 00:11:01,160
Must've slept funny.
249
00:11:04,914 --> 00:11:06,332
Are you
all right?
250
00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:07,583
Yeah.
251
00:11:07,583 --> 00:11:11,504
I feel awfully tired
this morning, though.
252
00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:14,215
Hm.
253
00:11:14,215 --> 00:11:16,551
What's the matter?
254
00:11:16,551 --> 00:11:19,929
My pajama pants
feel kind of tight.
255
00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:21,598
Well, I'll get shaved.
256
00:11:21,598 --> 00:11:24,225
You know, I feel like having
something real crazy
257
00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:25,684
for breakfast this morning.
258
00:11:26,602 --> 00:11:27,729
Me too.
259
00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:40,450
Let's go, Darrin.
260
00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:41,784
They're waiting
in the conference room.
261
00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:43,119
All right.
Don't rush me.
262
00:11:43,119 --> 00:11:44,287
Martin's not
the kind of man
263
00:11:44,328 --> 00:11:45,371
you can keep waiting,
you know.
264
00:11:45,371 --> 00:11:47,123
What's so important
about him?
265
00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:48,625
His soap.
266
00:11:48,625 --> 00:11:50,668
It means half a million dollars
a year to this company.
267
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,962
Money, money, money.
Is that all you think about?
268
00:11:52,962 --> 00:11:54,422
Of course.
What else is there?
269
00:11:54,422 --> 00:11:57,133
A person's feelings,
that's what else there is.
270
00:11:57,133 --> 00:11:58,384
My feelings!
271
00:11:58,384 --> 00:12:00,011
I'm doing the best
I can, Larry.
272
00:12:00,011 --> 00:12:01,054
I'm a human being.
273
00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:02,263
I'm not a machine.
274
00:12:02,263 --> 00:12:03,973
Darrin, what's the matter
with you?
275
00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:05,391
Nothing.
276
00:12:07,059 --> 00:12:08,102
You're crying!
277
00:12:08,102 --> 00:12:09,520
I'm not crying.
278
00:12:10,313 --> 00:12:11,814
Then why are
your eyes all moist?
279
00:12:11,814 --> 00:12:12,815
The sunlight.
280
00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:13,900
Besides, I have
hay fever.
281
00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:15,318
Well, the blinds
are drawn,
282
00:12:15,318 --> 00:12:16,653
and you never had hay fever
before in your life.
283
00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:17,820
All right,
so I'm crying!
284
00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:19,364
I am crying!
So what?
285
00:12:19,364 --> 00:12:22,533
A person has the right to have
a good cry once in a while.
286
00:12:27,038 --> 00:12:28,915
Darrin, I didn't mean
to upset you.
287
00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:30,833
That's all right, Larry.
It's all right.
288
00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:32,335
I'm just--
289
00:12:32,335 --> 00:12:34,921
I'm just
all worn out.
290
00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:36,714
Want to talk
about it?
291
00:12:36,714 --> 00:12:38,006
About what?
292
00:12:38,006 --> 00:12:40,885
Well, whatever it is that's
making you behave this way.
293
00:12:40,885 --> 00:12:42,845
Behave what way?
294
00:12:42,845 --> 00:12:45,598
Well, fidgety,
nervous.
295
00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:47,600
I don't know, Larry.
296
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:50,687
I've been this way ever since
I got up this morning.
297
00:12:50,727 --> 00:12:51,980
Then skip
the conference.
298
00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:53,523
I can handle
Martin alone.
299
00:12:53,523 --> 00:12:54,524
No.
300
00:12:54,524 --> 00:12:55,817
But, Darrin, if you
don't feel well--
301
00:12:55,857 --> 00:12:57,151
No, Larry.
302
00:12:57,151 --> 00:12:59,445
No, I'm all right
now.
303
00:13:01,155 --> 00:13:02,865
I can handle it.
304
00:13:09,038 --> 00:13:10,581
Darrin checked these
over yesterday,
305
00:13:10,581 --> 00:13:13,333
and I feel the Stanwyck account
will go for this approach.
306
00:13:13,333 --> 00:13:15,378
Phil, are you going
to eat your pickle?
307
00:13:15,378 --> 00:13:16,713
Oh, here,
help yourself.
308
00:13:16,713 --> 00:13:17,880
Thanks.
309
00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:19,381
If I could suggest
a change here,
310
00:13:19,381 --> 00:13:21,175
I think we ought to accent
the product itself more,
311
00:13:21,175 --> 00:13:22,385
rather than
the copy.
312
00:13:22,385 --> 00:13:24,053
It would be more
of an eye-catcher.
313
00:13:24,053 --> 00:13:26,054
Larry, are you going
to eat your pickle?
314
00:13:26,054 --> 00:13:27,390
No.
315
00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:31,184
Now, I think that we've
touched all the bases.
316
00:13:31,184 --> 00:13:33,271
Unless you'd like to add
something, Mr. Martin.
317
00:13:33,271 --> 00:13:34,647
Well, it's just a notion.
318
00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:36,482
I'm inclined to agree
with Larry.
319
00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:39,152
Mr. Martin, are you going
to eat your pickle?
320
00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:40,486
Yes, I am.
321
00:13:40,528 --> 00:13:43,655
I'd like to see the product
a little larger.
322
00:13:43,655 --> 00:13:46,034
Like it was jumping
out of the ad at you.
323
00:13:46,034 --> 00:13:47,410
[Larry] Exactly.
324
00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:49,120
It would have more
impact that way.
325
00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:51,664
You're not eating it.
326
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:53,708
I'll eat it
when I feel like it.
327
00:13:53,708 --> 00:13:55,335
If you don't want it,
328
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:56,919
there's no sense
letting it go to waste.
329
00:13:56,919 --> 00:13:58,755
Darrin,
330
00:13:58,755 --> 00:14:00,131
it's his pickle.
331
00:14:00,131 --> 00:14:02,050
But it's just lying there.
332
00:14:02,050 --> 00:14:03,509
So it's just lying there.
333
00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:04,927
Then why can't I have it?
334
00:14:04,969 --> 00:14:07,263
Darrin!
335
00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:09,515
You have no intention at all
of eating that pickle!
336
00:14:09,515 --> 00:14:12,977
Look, we're not going to have
an argument about a pickle.
337
00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:14,604
I demand your pickle!
338
00:14:14,604 --> 00:14:15,938
Darrin!
339
00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:20,276
Gentlemen, if you will
excuse us for a moment.
340
00:14:21,444 --> 00:14:23,696
Sorry,
Mr. Martin.
341
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:25,156
Darrin.
342
00:14:27,492 --> 00:14:29,660
What on earth
got into you?
343
00:14:30,828 --> 00:14:33,664
I don't know.
344
00:14:33,664 --> 00:14:37,627
It was like some kind
of crazy fixation.
345
00:14:37,668 --> 00:14:42,215
I just had to
have his pickle.
346
00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:44,008
Darrin, I think your wife's
having a baby
347
00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:45,259
is really getting
to you.
348
00:14:45,259 --> 00:14:48,096
You're like one big
peeled nerve.
349
00:14:48,096 --> 00:14:49,847
That's how I feel.
350
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:52,141
Look, why don't you take
the rest of the day off.
351
00:14:52,141 --> 00:14:53,309
Go see a doctor.
352
00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:55,353
Get him to give you
a tranquilizer.
353
00:14:55,353 --> 00:14:56,521
Maybe I should.
354
00:14:56,521 --> 00:14:58,314
I just haven't been
myself all day.
355
00:14:58,314 --> 00:14:59,607
I'll see you
in the morning.
356
00:14:59,649 --> 00:15:00,983
Get a good night's
sleep.
357
00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:01,984
Ow!
358
00:15:01,984 --> 00:15:04,529
Easy on the back,
Lar.
359
00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:19,502
Well, blood pressure's
normal, Darrin.
360
00:15:19,502 --> 00:15:21,003
In fact,
everything's normal.
361
00:15:21,003 --> 00:15:22,046
Well, that's good.
362
00:15:22,046 --> 00:15:23,381
There must be
something wrong.
363
00:15:23,381 --> 00:15:24,966
You can put
your shirt on now.
364
00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:27,176
Tell me,
365
00:15:27,218 --> 00:15:28,469
what did you do today
366
00:15:28,469 --> 00:15:30,513
that might have had
an upsetting effect on you?
367
00:15:31,389 --> 00:15:32,849
Well, when I woke up
this morning,
368
00:15:32,849 --> 00:15:34,684
I had an
upset stomach.
369
00:15:34,684 --> 00:15:36,227
Then when I got
out of bed,
370
00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:38,855
I suddenly had
the darnedest backache.
371
00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:40,231
Backache, eh?
372
00:15:40,231 --> 00:15:41,983
Anything else?
373
00:15:41,983 --> 00:15:45,194
Then I had a sudden urge
for something crazy to eat.
374
00:15:45,194 --> 00:15:47,363
Such as?
375
00:15:47,864 --> 00:15:49,449
Oh, ice cream,
376
00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:52,243
watermelon, sardines.
377
00:15:52,243 --> 00:15:54,328
In fact, I got into
a kind of an argument
378
00:15:54,328 --> 00:15:56,539
with a fellow at the office
over a pickle.
379
00:15:57,748 --> 00:15:58,916
A pickle?
380
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,751
I know I shouldn't have
gotten so upset about it,
381
00:16:00,751 --> 00:16:03,129
but, well,
he wasn't eating it.
382
00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:04,922
I see.
383
00:16:06,090 --> 00:16:08,092
Does that add up
to anything, doc?
384
00:16:08,092 --> 00:16:10,219
Well, not in your case,
385
00:16:10,219 --> 00:16:11,596
but I'd say that
if you were a woman,
386
00:16:11,596 --> 00:16:13,556
that you were
going to have a baby.
387
00:16:21,731 --> 00:16:23,900
Now that you mention it,
it does sound like--
388
00:16:23,900 --> 00:16:29,155
[Endora's voice] It doesn't yet, but it will.
389
00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:30,156
Endora.
390
00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:31,532
Endora?
391
00:16:31,532 --> 00:16:33,034
My mother-in-law.
392
00:16:33,034 --> 00:16:34,619
It's nothing.
393
00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:36,871
I hope.
394
00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:47,673
Mr. Stephens' office.
395
00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:49,634
Oh, good afternoon,
Mrs. Stephens.
396
00:16:49,634 --> 00:16:51,802
Mr. Stephens wasn't too well
this morning.
397
00:16:51,802 --> 00:16:53,429
How is he feeling
this afternoon?
398
00:16:53,429 --> 00:16:54,972
Not well, I'm afraid.
399
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:56,349
He went to see the doctor.
400
00:16:56,349 --> 00:16:57,725
Doctor?!
401
00:16:57,725 --> 00:16:59,101
What's the matter with him?
402
00:16:59,101 --> 00:17:00,186
I'm not sure.
403
00:17:00,186 --> 00:17:01,646
He was quite strange.
404
00:17:01,646 --> 00:17:03,940
In fact, he got into an argument
with an important client
405
00:17:03,940 --> 00:17:04,941
over a pickle.
406
00:17:04,941 --> 00:17:05,775
A pickle?
407
00:17:05,775 --> 00:17:07,151
And you know
what he wants me
408
00:17:07,151 --> 00:17:09,445
to order for a snack?
409
00:17:09,445 --> 00:17:13,407
Pickled herring
and a strawberry sandwich?!
410
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:16,744
Anything else?
411
00:17:16,744 --> 00:17:18,538
A backache?!
412
00:17:19,789 --> 00:17:22,792
Have him call me
as soon as he comes back.
413
00:17:22,792 --> 00:17:24,669
Thanks.
414
00:17:25,002 --> 00:17:26,671
Hmm.
415
00:17:28,172 --> 00:17:29,340
Mother?
416
00:17:29,340 --> 00:17:31,509
I would've been here sooner,
darling,
417
00:17:31,509 --> 00:17:33,636
but I was in Rome.
418
00:17:33,636 --> 00:17:35,304
What did you do
to Darrin?
419
00:17:35,304 --> 00:17:37,265
Just teaching him
a little lesson
420
00:17:37,265 --> 00:17:39,308
for the way he treated
you last night.
421
00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:40,768
There was a reason
for that.
422
00:17:40,768 --> 00:17:44,438
I know, I know.
He read a book.
423
00:17:44,438 --> 00:17:47,400
Believe it or not,
he was only thinking of me.
424
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:50,486
Now, I'll thank you
to stop your meddling,
425
00:17:50,486 --> 00:17:52,446
and take that crazy spell
off Darrin.
426
00:17:52,488 --> 00:17:54,574
Not until I'm ready,
darling.
427
00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:57,493
Now, if you'll
excuse me,
428
00:17:57,493 --> 00:18:01,038
there's somebody waiting
for me on the Via Veneto.
429
00:18:01,038 --> 00:18:03,249
Y--
430
00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:04,709
Mother?
431
00:18:05,792 --> 00:18:07,628
Oooh!
432
00:18:10,047 --> 00:18:11,757
Dave, I got
a problem.
433
00:18:11,757 --> 00:18:14,176
Yeah.
434
00:18:14,218 --> 00:18:15,344
I'm gonna
have a baby.
435
00:18:15,344 --> 00:18:17,471
Yeah, I've made
up my mind.
436
00:18:17,471 --> 00:18:20,141
This is one boy who's
going to stay single-o.
437
00:18:20,141 --> 00:18:23,519
There's only going to be one
control on my electric blanket.
438
00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:25,354
How could she
do this to me?
439
00:18:25,354 --> 00:18:27,565
What'll the
neighbors say?
440
00:18:27,565 --> 00:18:30,276
I mean, I don't know
one happy couple.
441
00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:31,652
Sure, my cousin
Irving says
442
00:18:31,652 --> 00:18:33,696
he's had four years
of happy marriage,
443
00:18:33,696 --> 00:18:36,616
but he's been married
to Selma for 17 years.
444
00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:38,242
What'll I tell everybody
down at the office?
445
00:18:38,242 --> 00:18:41,244
You can't keep a thing like
that a secret for too long.
446
00:18:41,244 --> 00:18:42,622
People start
to notice things.
447
00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:44,498
And what's Irving
got to show for it?
448
00:18:44,498 --> 00:18:46,375
A stack of bills,
that's what.
449
00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:50,046
He's engaged to Selma
all through high school,
450
00:18:50,046 --> 00:18:51,213
all through college.
451
00:18:51,213 --> 00:18:52,590
And the day
they get married,
452
00:18:52,590 --> 00:18:55,092
she tells him she was
in the half of the class
453
00:18:55,092 --> 00:18:56,385
that had all
the cavities.
454
00:18:56,385 --> 00:18:58,262
What will I say
to Sam?
455
00:18:58,262 --> 00:18:59,430
"Guess what, dear?
456
00:18:59,430 --> 00:19:01,057
We're gonna have
babies together"?
457
00:19:01,098 --> 00:19:02,099
No, sir.
458
00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:04,185
They're not shoving me
down that middle aisle.
459
00:19:04,185 --> 00:19:05,227
Hey, I gotta go.
460
00:19:05,269 --> 00:19:08,522
Well, glad I could help,
Darrin.
461
00:19:12,693 --> 00:19:14,111
You all right,
Mr. Stephens?
462
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,238
All right?
463
00:19:16,238 --> 00:19:18,240
Joe, I'm going
to have a baby.
464
00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:19,532
Oh, yeah?
465
00:19:19,532 --> 00:19:21,202
Congratulations to the wife.
466
00:19:21,202 --> 00:19:23,119
Not my wife.
Me.
467
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:24,580
You?
468
00:19:24,580 --> 00:19:26,791
Yes.
I'm going to be a mother.
469
00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:30,795
That's great.
470
00:19:30,795 --> 00:19:33,005
You'll be the first man
in the world to pull it off.
471
00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:34,423
You'll be famous.
472
00:19:34,423 --> 00:19:37,134
Yeah, I'll be famous.
473
00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:38,761
Fill it up again, Joe.
474
00:19:40,596 --> 00:19:42,640
I never thought of that.
475
00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:44,642
I'll be famous.
476
00:19:44,642 --> 00:19:46,560
[Darrin, echoing] I'll be famous.
477
00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:50,481
I'll be famous.
478
00:20:20,636 --> 00:20:23,263
I can't stand this waiting.
479
00:20:26,100 --> 00:20:27,476
Mrs. Stephens?
Mm.
480
00:20:27,518 --> 00:20:29,061
Your husband
had a boy.
481
00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:31,856
Both father and son
are doing just fine.
482
00:20:31,856 --> 00:20:33,273
A boy!
483
00:20:33,273 --> 00:20:36,359
A boy!
It's a boy!
484
00:20:36,359 --> 00:20:39,739
It's a boy!
485
00:20:41,949 --> 00:20:43,868
You realize you're
the first man in the world
486
00:20:43,868 --> 00:20:45,536
to have a baby,
Mr. Stephens?
487
00:20:45,536 --> 00:20:46,996
Yes.
488
00:20:46,996 --> 00:20:48,580
And they said
it couldn't be done.
489
00:20:48,580 --> 00:20:50,207
You seem most
pleased about it.
490
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:51,542
Oh, yes.
491
00:20:51,542 --> 00:20:52,877
My wife and I both wanted
a large family.
492
00:20:52,917 --> 00:20:54,670
And this way we can have
twice as many kids.
493
00:20:54,670 --> 00:20:56,589
How is your wife
taking this?
494
00:20:57,006 --> 00:20:57,840
Just great.
495
00:20:57,840 --> 00:20:59,008
Not the least bit jealous.
496
00:20:59,008 --> 00:21:00,760
She even made some
of her old clothes
497
00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:02,845
into maternity
sport coats for me.
498
00:21:02,845 --> 00:21:04,680
Do you have any
immediate plans?
499
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:05,890
Not at the present.
500
00:21:05,890 --> 00:21:07,933
Just rest,
get my figure back.
501
00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:10,352
I suppose you have big plans
for your first child?
502
00:21:10,352 --> 00:21:11,561
Yes, indeed.
503
00:21:11,561 --> 00:21:14,023
But it could cause
a bit of a problem.
504
00:21:14,023 --> 00:21:15,316
In what way?
505
00:21:15,316 --> 00:21:18,611
Well, as his father, I'd like
him to go into politics,
506
00:21:18,611 --> 00:21:21,196
but as his mother,
507
00:21:21,238 --> 00:21:22,364
I'm against it.
508
00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:28,078
I'll be famous.
509
00:21:28,078 --> 00:21:32,208
I'll be famous.
510
00:21:34,460 --> 00:21:36,337
You sure you're all right,
Mr. Stephens?
511
00:21:36,378 --> 00:21:37,254
Hm?
512
00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:40,049
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, Joe.
513
00:21:44,220 --> 00:21:46,222
Darrin.
514
00:21:46,222 --> 00:21:47,681
Oh, Sam!
515
00:21:47,681 --> 00:21:50,267
I had a feeling you'd be here
drowning your sorrows.
516
00:21:50,267 --> 00:21:52,061
Am I glad
to see you.
517
00:21:52,061 --> 00:21:53,771
Darling, I think
you've had enough.
518
00:21:53,771 --> 00:21:54,730
Let's go home.
519
00:21:54,730 --> 00:21:55,898
Honey,
I'm not drunk.
520
00:21:55,898 --> 00:21:57,273
I've got something
to tell you.
521
00:21:57,316 --> 00:21:58,275
Yes, I know.
522
00:21:58,275 --> 00:21:59,359
Oh, no,
you don't know.
523
00:21:59,359 --> 00:22:00,402
Now, listen to me.
524
00:22:00,402 --> 00:22:01,779
I'm going
to have a baby.
525
00:22:01,779 --> 00:22:03,405
Mother told me.
526
00:22:03,405 --> 00:22:04,573
I know all
about it.
527
00:22:04,573 --> 00:22:06,534
I'll have to have
my pants let out.
528
00:22:06,534 --> 00:22:08,953
Darling, they're
only symptoms.
529
00:22:08,953 --> 00:22:10,663
We'll be rid of
them soon enough.
530
00:22:10,663 --> 00:22:12,080
Really?
531
00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:13,290
Yes, sweetheart.
532
00:22:13,290 --> 00:22:14,917
I hope so.
533
00:22:14,959 --> 00:22:17,253
I've had
a terrible day.
534
00:22:17,253 --> 00:22:19,171
I know,
sweetheart.
535
00:22:19,171 --> 00:22:21,298
Come on,
come on.
536
00:22:26,679 --> 00:22:28,305
Oh, hello there.
537
00:22:28,388 --> 00:22:30,057
I didn't see
you come in.
538
00:22:30,099 --> 00:22:32,309
How about that character
that just left?
539
00:22:32,309 --> 00:22:34,436
I'll bite,
how about him?
540
00:22:34,478 --> 00:22:35,646
Well, didn't you
hear him?
541
00:22:35,646 --> 00:22:37,773
He thinks he's going
to have a baby.
542
00:22:37,773 --> 00:22:39,400
Isn't that wild?
Ha, ha.
543
00:22:40,442 --> 00:22:42,152
Not necessarily.
544
00:22:42,152 --> 00:22:45,281
Well, it's the most ridiculous
thing I ever heard of.
545
00:22:45,281 --> 00:22:47,449
I've got five kids.
546
00:22:47,449 --> 00:22:49,410
Another one on the way
right now.
547
00:22:49,410 --> 00:22:51,662
Why, it's a snap.
548
00:22:51,662 --> 00:22:53,497
Nothing to get
shook up about.
549
00:22:53,539 --> 00:22:54,915
Heh, heh.
550
00:22:54,915 --> 00:22:57,209
Imagine a guy thinking
he's going to have a baby?
551
00:22:58,167 --> 00:23:00,713
Oooh!
552
00:23:01,839 --> 00:23:05,134
Boy, suddenly
I got a backache.
553
00:23:05,134 --> 00:23:06,844
You don't say.
554
00:23:06,844 --> 00:23:09,013
I hope it goes away
by tonight.
555
00:23:09,013 --> 00:23:10,513
I'm supposed to go bowling.
556
00:23:10,513 --> 00:23:12,349
I wouldn't advise that...
557
00:23:12,349 --> 00:23:14,310
in your condition.
558
00:23:22,401 --> 00:23:24,028
Here you are,
sweetheart.
559
00:23:24,028 --> 00:23:26,321
Just a little something
to keep your strength up.
560
00:23:26,321 --> 00:23:28,365
You didn't have to go
to all that trouble.
561
00:23:28,449 --> 00:23:29,366
I could've done it.
562
00:23:29,450 --> 00:23:30,743
No chance.
563
00:23:30,743 --> 00:23:32,619
I'm back to spoiling
you rotten.
564
00:23:32,619 --> 00:23:34,288
How do you feel?
565
00:23:34,288 --> 00:23:35,873
Great.
566
00:23:35,873 --> 00:23:38,584
But if that mother of yours ever
pulls a stunt like that again,
567
00:23:38,584 --> 00:23:40,794
I'm going to use
a little magic of my own.
568
00:23:40,794 --> 00:23:43,047
Make a few of her
teeth disappear.
569
00:23:43,088 --> 00:23:46,050
And no jury
will convict you.
570
00:23:46,050 --> 00:23:48,385
Now, is there anything
else I can get you?
571
00:23:48,385 --> 00:23:49,386
Darrin,
572
00:23:49,470 --> 00:23:52,181
we have
a long way to go.
573
00:23:52,181 --> 00:23:53,098
If you keep this up,
574
00:23:53,098 --> 00:23:54,475
you're going
to be awfully tired
575
00:23:54,475 --> 00:23:55,768
by the time
the baby's born.
576
00:23:55,768 --> 00:23:57,811
Don't argue.
Eat, eat.
577
00:23:57,811 --> 00:23:59,605
Seriously, darling,
578
00:23:59,605 --> 00:24:01,398
you can't go on waiting
on me like this.
579
00:24:01,398 --> 00:24:02,398
I'm not an invalid.
580
00:24:02,398 --> 00:24:03,651
I feel perfectly fine.
581
00:24:03,651 --> 00:24:06,070
Sam, don't try to tell me
how you feel.
582
00:24:06,070 --> 00:24:09,323
I know how you feel.
Exactly.
583
00:24:09,323 --> 00:24:10,574
Remember?
584
00:24:10,574 --> 00:24:13,243
Yes, come to think of it,
you do.
585
00:24:13,243 --> 00:24:15,329
That's right.
586
00:24:15,329 --> 00:24:16,622
I'm a man in a million.
587
00:24:16,622 --> 00:24:18,999
So big deal.
588
00:24:21,292 --> 00:24:24,296
I've always known that.
589
00:24:31,428 --> 00:24:32,763
Cheers!
39667
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof