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1
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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
1
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Hey.
2
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Hi.
3
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Housekeeping!
4
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Hello? Housekeeping.
5
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No, no, nope.
6
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No, no. Not today.
7
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Thanks.
8
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- You still mad at me?
- Heh.
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I could never stay mad at you.
10
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How you doing?
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Good. Busy.
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Great. Hey, you free for lunch today?
13
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No, sorry. Um...
14
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I have to do press for the big show,
15
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and then I'm throwing DJ
her 35th birthday party.
16
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Ah.
17
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So I guess dinner's out too, then?
18
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Yeah, unfortunately.
19
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Well, hey. Why don't you come?
20
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I'm sure DJ would love to see you,
21
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and you'd actually be helping me out.
22
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I always have to pad these parties.
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Turns out that being in
Narcotics Anonymous this long
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has left her with friends that are...
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all anonymous.
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Yeah, okay.
27
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I'll see you tonight, then.
28
00:02:04,278 --> 00:02:05,861
Bye.
29
00:02:13,736 --> 00:02:15,070
Is this your makeup bag?
30
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'Cause it's, like, mostly
half-smoked joints and used Q-tips.
31
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- Yeah, that's it.
- Okay.
32
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No, I'm using mine.
33
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Ugh, I'm so glad I got tonight off.
34
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Plus, I really need a break from Luna.
35
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She's just going through this,
like, really intense stage
36
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where she absolutely hates me.
37
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I mean, like, I know she's just a baby,
38
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but, like, it still hurts.
39
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Like, last night, she
said, "Luna no love Mama."
40
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I'm like, "You've only
met, like, three people
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in your whole life, and
you hate the best one?"
42
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Ugh, I'm sorry, Kiki.
43
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- That's really hard.
- Yeah.
44
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Do you have, like, a Beautyblender?
45
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Like, you know, like, an eggy sponge?
46
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Um...
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- Why'd I even ask?
- No, I...
48
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I usually just use my fingers,
49
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'cause makeup doesn't really have rules.
50
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Mm-mm. Makeup absolutely has rules.
51
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Oh, no.
52
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Fire the hors d'œuvres.
53
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Josefina told me to wait
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until at least half the guests arrive.
55
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Josefina!
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Josefina?
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Hi, um, I think that there's been
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a little bit of a misunderstanding.
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People are under the false impression
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that you're running this party.
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00:03:23,941 --> 00:03:25,733
Damien, I am the House Manager.
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So, first, do not yell my name.
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And second, this party
is under my jurisdiction,
64
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and what I say goes.
65
00:03:32,233 --> 00:03:33,691
Well, I'm Deborah's personal assistant,
66
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and I'm in charge of
all of her events, so...
67
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Again, I'm the House Manager,
68
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and this event is in the house, so...
69
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Fire the hors d'oeuvres.
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Yeah. Fire the hors d'oeuvres.
71
00:03:59,525 --> 00:04:01,608
Deborah, you know Wilson.
72
00:04:03,608 --> 00:04:05,775
- Ah, so you're the mystery date.
- Mm-hmm.
73
00:04:05,858 --> 00:04:08,733
You look so different without
your fluorescent vest on.
74
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Not better. Just different.
75
00:04:10,775 --> 00:04:12,316
Well, thank you for having me.
76
00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:15,025
Yes, well, please help
yourself to some champagne.
77
00:04:17,733 --> 00:04:19,441
Are you still angry at
me about the shapewear?
78
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Is that what this is all about?
79
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It's not about you, Deborah.
80
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I like him.
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Mm-hmm.
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Deborah!
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My God, I'm so happy to be here!
84
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I had to get out of the
freaking house so bad.
85
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Ava, you look pretty.
86
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Oh.
87
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Really?
88
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Thanks.
89
00:04:39,233 --> 00:04:40,525
- You look...
- You!
90
00:04:40,608 --> 00:04:42,275
No, no, no. Are those Bellinis?
91
00:04:42,358 --> 00:04:43,608
No, no, no, those are not to be served
92
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until the puff pastry comes out.
93
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Am I blushing?
94
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No clue.
95
00:04:50,816 --> 00:04:52,233
I use high-coverage foundation.
96
00:04:52,316 --> 00:04:53,816
It's basically paint.
97
00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:03,358
- Ooh!
- Oh, my God.
98
00:05:03,441 --> 00:05:05,150
Does that look familiar?
Sir, was this yours?
99
00:05:05,233 --> 00:05:06,900
But a creative way, but still...
100
00:05:06,983 --> 00:05:08,983
Ladies.
101
00:05:09,066 --> 00:05:10,150
Deborah.
102
00:05:10,233 --> 00:05:12,316
- Marty.
- Madame Mayor.
103
00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:14,525
Oh, Marty! Oh, so good to see you again.
104
00:05:14,608 --> 00:05:16,983
Now, where's your lovely
little girlfriend this evening?
105
00:05:17,066 --> 00:05:18,608
No, she's not coming.
106
00:05:18,691 --> 00:05:19,691
Jeez.
107
00:05:19,733 --> 00:05:21,150
Well, she's nuts, huh?
108
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If I were her, I wouldn't
let you out of my sight.
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00:05:23,358 --> 00:05:24,983
Oh.
110
00:05:25,066 --> 00:05:27,525
Well, we actually broke up.
111
00:05:28,900 --> 00:05:29,900
Ah.
112
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Good to know.
113
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Okay! The birthday girl has arrived!
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Happy birthday, dear.
115
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Hi.
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Hi. You look cute.
117
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Thank you!
118
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Well, you must be Aidan.
119
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It's so nice to finally meet you.
120
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- DJ sent me clips of all your fights. I'm starstruck.
- Thank you, ma'am.
121
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Excuse me, Ms. Vance,
do you have a second
122
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Oh, hope you didn't give
him the shiner, sweetie.
123
00:05:59,816 --> 00:06:01,108
Ooh, Ava! Ava, come here.
124
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Come meet my man.
125
00:06:02,525 --> 00:06:04,441
Ava, this is the love of my life.
126
00:06:04,525 --> 00:06:05,858
Aidan, this is my girlfriend, Ava.
127
00:06:05,941 --> 00:06:07,025
Hey. Nice to meet you.
128
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- Pleasure.
- Oh, wow.
129
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- Firm grip.
- Oh, yeah.
130
00:06:10,483 --> 00:06:11,608
His body's his career.
131
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He's the current Tuff-N-Uff
MMA welterweight champ.
132
00:06:14,650 --> 00:06:15,858
Ooh, feel his muscle!
133
00:06:15,941 --> 00:06:17,816
Babe, don't flex.
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Just grab on.
135
00:06:22,605 --> 00:06:23,646
- Wow.
- Right?
136
00:06:23,730 --> 00:06:25,105
- Crazy, yeah.
- Right?
137
00:06:25,188 --> 00:06:27,813
Okay, babe, now flex.
138
00:06:30,063 --> 00:06:32,146
- You want me to...
- Get back in there.
139
00:06:32,230 --> 00:06:33,313
Just, I...
140
00:06:33,396 --> 00:06:35,021
He's flexed now.
141
00:06:35,105 --> 00:06:37,313
Okay.
142
00:06:37,396 --> 00:06:39,480
- Yep.
- Double puka shells?
143
00:06:39,563 --> 00:06:41,063
You look so cute.
144
00:06:41,146 --> 00:06:42,146
That was actually the first time
145
00:06:42,230 --> 00:06:43,646
I went on tour with Deborah.
146
00:06:43,730 --> 00:06:44,813
Was that before or after
147
00:06:44,896 --> 00:06:46,688
her joke about crackheads?
148
00:06:46,771 --> 00:06:51,021
Uh, well, I believe she
changed it to opioids, so...
149
00:06:51,105 --> 00:06:52,521
Oh, okay. Instead of being
150
00:06:52,605 --> 00:06:54,480
about Black people,
it's about poor people.
151
00:06:54,563 --> 00:06:56,271
I mean, it just must, like,
152
00:06:56,355 --> 00:06:59,146
suck to work for a white lady
for 20 years, or whatever.
153
00:07:00,355 --> 00:07:01,896
Sadly, Cosby wasn't hiring.
154
00:07:01,980 --> 00:07:04,605
Oh, my God.
155
00:07:04,688 --> 00:07:06,313
How did you start working for her?
156
00:07:06,396 --> 00:07:08,271
Well, she was my favorite
comedian growing up,
157
00:07:08,355 --> 00:07:10,646
which should've been my
first clue that I was gay.
158
00:07:10,730 --> 00:07:12,021
That, and the double puka shells.
159
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Correct.
160
00:07:13,355 --> 00:07:14,771
And when I was 18,
161
00:07:14,855 --> 00:07:17,355
I drove my mom's
Cimarron for three hours
162
00:07:17,438 --> 00:07:21,480
to see Deborah's show in
D.C., and she was incredible.
163
00:07:21,563 --> 00:07:24,730
And I stayed after for
her to autograph this shirt
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that I made with her face on the front,
165
00:07:27,146 --> 00:07:28,813
and she got a kick out of it.
166
00:07:28,896 --> 00:07:30,938
And then I told her she
needed to seriously reconsider
167
00:07:31,021 --> 00:07:32,396
her idea of brand merchandising.
168
00:07:33,771 --> 00:07:35,688
And she offered me a job on the spot.
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I've been with her ever since.
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That's cool.
171
00:07:38,688 --> 00:07:40,396
I've been talking about myself too much.
172
00:07:40,480 --> 00:07:44,480
Uh, what's your story? How
did you become a water cop?
173
00:07:44,563 --> 00:07:45,771
Monster.com.
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00:07:47,771 --> 00:07:50,563
Uploaded my résumé and got the job.
175
00:07:50,646 --> 00:07:52,855
And I get that hating me
is part of her development,
176
00:07:52,938 --> 00:07:54,896
but it's also part of her development
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to know that I have
more friends than her.
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Isn't she three?
179
00:07:59,105 --> 00:08:00,521
Exactly.
180
00:08:00,605 --> 00:08:01,896
Now, show me one. Where is he?
181
00:08:03,230 --> 00:08:05,146
You think she thinks he's funny?
182
00:08:06,646 --> 00:08:11,230
I mean, she's laughing, so, yeah?
183
00:08:11,313 --> 00:08:12,813
What's the deal with them?
184
00:08:12,896 --> 00:08:14,896
Mm, I think they have some history.
185
00:08:14,980 --> 00:08:16,730
There's, like, a vibe between them,
186
00:08:16,813 --> 00:08:18,438
and, I don't know.
187
00:08:18,521 --> 00:08:19,813
I ship it.
188
00:08:45,646 --> 00:08:47,771
- Is... is this...
- The "Jurassic Park" theme.
189
00:08:47,855 --> 00:08:49,188
- Yes.
- Yeah.
190
00:08:52,563 --> 00:08:53,730
She's pretty good.
191
00:08:53,813 --> 00:08:55,438
Mm, 100 grand on piano lessons.
192
00:08:55,521 --> 00:08:57,771
This is all she learned to play.
193
00:08:57,855 --> 00:09:01,105
Well, it's pretty timeless.
194
00:09:01,188 --> 00:09:04,355
Plus, they just rebooted the franchise.
195
00:09:04,438 --> 00:09:06,480
What a boon.
196
00:09:13,063 --> 00:09:15,063
Thank you! Thank you.
197
00:09:15,146 --> 00:09:16,646
I wanted to take a moment
198
00:09:16,730 --> 00:09:19,771
and share some very exciting
news with all of you,
199
00:09:19,855 --> 00:09:22,646
my nearest and dearest.
200
00:09:23,030 --> 00:09:24,980
Aidan and I are engaged!
201
00:09:27,396 --> 00:09:29,730
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God!
202
00:09:29,813 --> 00:09:31,146
I know, I know!
203
00:09:31,230 --> 00:09:33,105
So it's not only my birthday party,
204
00:09:33,188 --> 00:09:36,063
but it's also my engagement party.
205
00:09:36,146 --> 00:09:37,605
Oh!
206
00:09:37,688 --> 00:09:39,021
Congrats, honey.
207
00:09:39,105 --> 00:09:40,188
Thanks, Mom.
208
00:09:40,271 --> 00:09:41,438
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
209
00:09:41,521 --> 00:09:42,521
Whoo-whoo.
210
00:09:42,563 --> 00:09:44,438
Ah... ooh.
211
00:09:45,980 --> 00:09:48,355
- Hey, excuse me, sir.
- Thank you.
212
00:09:48,438 --> 00:09:49,980
- Well...
- Oh, no, no, no, no.
213
00:09:50,063 --> 00:09:51,271
No more for him.
214
00:09:51,355 --> 00:09:53,855
No, he likes to conserve.
215
00:09:55,021 --> 00:09:57,480
Yoo-hoo! Marty.
216
00:09:57,563 --> 00:09:59,355
How's your beef?
217
00:10:03,605 --> 00:10:04,938
Hey.
218
00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:07,021
How about after we get
done with our entrées,
219
00:10:07,105 --> 00:10:08,438
why don't we all change seats?
220
00:10:08,521 --> 00:10:10,021
Just kind of switch it up a little bit.
221
00:10:10,105 --> 00:10:11,938
- How about that?
- No.
222
00:10:12,021 --> 00:10:14,813
That's not how this is gonna work.
223
00:10:18,396 --> 00:10:21,563
Did anybody else witness that?
224
00:10:27,855 --> 00:10:30,563
Okay, I... I had, like, a...
225
00:10:30,646 --> 00:10:33,896
I had a sex-ish dream
about Deborah this morning.
226
00:10:33,980 --> 00:10:36,063
- Whoa.
- And it's obviously whatever,
227
00:10:36,146 --> 00:10:37,688
because I've had sex dreams
about a lot of people,
228
00:10:37,771 --> 00:10:39,230
but for some reason,
I'm just feeling, like,
229
00:10:39,313 --> 00:10:40,730
really weird about this one.
230
00:10:40,813 --> 00:10:42,230
Oh, babe, you probably
just had a sex dream
231
00:10:42,313 --> 00:10:44,605
about Deborah because she's fucking hot.
232
00:10:44,688 --> 00:10:46,521
Yeah. She is, but...
233
00:10:46,605 --> 00:10:48,855
I don't know, maybe this is about power?
234
00:10:48,938 --> 00:10:51,688
Or because we had a really
intense bonding experience
235
00:10:51,771 --> 00:10:53,230
- on that trip we went on.
- Mm-hmm.
236
00:10:53,313 --> 00:10:54,605
But also, she's mean to me.
237
00:10:54,688 --> 00:10:56,855
So, am I weirdly into that?
238
00:10:56,938 --> 00:10:59,688
Ugh, psychologically, very bad sign.
239
00:10:59,771 --> 00:11:02,230
This is exactly how women
end up dating men in tech.
240
00:11:02,313 --> 00:11:04,563
Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah.
241
00:11:04,646 --> 00:11:07,063
Or is it just 'cause I
watched "Carol" last night?
242
00:11:07,146 --> 00:11:08,813
Oh, you watched "Carol" last night?
243
00:11:08,896 --> 00:11:11,813
Well, then it's definitely
just about "Carol," duh.
244
00:11:11,896 --> 00:11:13,813
Oh, I'm sorry about you and Ivy.
245
00:11:13,896 --> 00:11:16,313
Ah, it's okay. I couldn't trust her.
246
00:11:16,396 --> 00:11:18,021
She let a woman roam through my house...
247
00:11:18,105 --> 00:11:19,355
- Ah.
- Take pictures.
248
00:11:19,438 --> 00:11:20,688
Oh, so it's my fault?
249
00:11:20,771 --> 00:11:22,271
No.
250
00:11:22,355 --> 00:11:23,396
No.
251
00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:26,105
She's just not the woman for me.
252
00:11:28,105 --> 00:11:29,605
Hi.
253
00:11:29,688 --> 00:11:32,021
I just wanted to thank
you all so much for coming,
254
00:11:32,105 --> 00:11:35,438
and especially thank you
to my mom for hosting.
255
00:11:35,521 --> 00:11:36,771
- Yep.
- And also,
256
00:11:36,855 --> 00:11:39,063
I wanted to let you know that my jewelry
257
00:11:39,146 --> 00:11:42,021
will be in three Trish's boutiques.
258
00:11:42,105 --> 00:11:43,688
- Yes.
- Ah, that's right!
259
00:11:43,771 --> 00:11:46,271
D'Jewelry is gonna be at Trish's!
260
00:11:46,355 --> 00:11:47,855
- Is that good?
- It's major.
261
00:11:49,271 --> 00:11:51,313
I am engaged to the love of my life,
262
00:11:51,396 --> 00:11:54,438
and I have honestly never been happier.
263
00:11:54,521 --> 00:11:55,813
So just thank you to
every single one of you
264
00:11:55,896 --> 00:11:57,855
for making this night so special.
265
00:11:57,938 --> 00:11:58,938
Cheers.
266
00:11:58,939 --> 00:12:01,146
Cheers.
267
00:12:02,021 --> 00:12:04,813
- Okay, Ava, your turn.
- Hmm?
268
00:12:04,896 --> 00:12:05,896
Oh.
269
00:12:05,897 --> 00:12:07,146
Oh, we're all doing speeches?
270
00:12:07,230 --> 00:12:08,313
It's my birthday.
271
00:12:08,396 --> 00:12:09,813
- Yeah, okay.
- Yeah.
272
00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:11,438
No problem.
273
00:12:11,521 --> 00:12:13,438
Uh...
274
00:12:14,605 --> 00:12:15,688
DJ...
275
00:12:15,771 --> 00:12:16,938
Are you gonna sit while you do it?
276
00:12:17,021 --> 00:12:18,396
- No.
- I figured you'd stand.
277
00:12:22,105 --> 00:12:24,688
DJ...
278
00:12:24,771 --> 00:12:27,855
you self-tumble your own rocks,
279
00:12:27,938 --> 00:12:31,646
which, well, frankly, rocks.
280
00:12:31,730 --> 00:12:33,355
Um...
281
00:12:34,521 --> 00:12:38,355
You know, I've honestly
never met anyone like you.
282
00:12:38,438 --> 00:12:40,438
And I think it's so brave
that you're not afraid
283
00:12:40,521 --> 00:12:43,688
to march to the beat of your own drum.
284
00:12:43,771 --> 00:12:45,396
And...
285
00:12:45,480 --> 00:12:47,230
I think it's really cool
that you found someone
286
00:12:47,313 --> 00:12:51,188
who loves you for exactly who you are.
287
00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:53,355
Which is a really great person.
288
00:12:53,438 --> 00:12:54,896
Aww.
289
00:12:54,980 --> 00:12:56,813
Happy birthday. To DJ.
290
00:12:58,146 --> 00:13:00,563
Thank you.
291
00:13:00,646 --> 00:13:03,605
DJ, for your birthday,
292
00:13:03,688 --> 00:13:06,021
it is my great honor and privilege
293
00:13:06,105 --> 00:13:07,521
as the mayor of Las Vegas
294
00:13:07,605 --> 00:13:12,438
to present you with a key
to the city of Las Vegas.
295
00:13:14,230 --> 00:13:16,021
- Oh, another one.
- Now, this key in particular
296
00:13:16,105 --> 00:13:17,938
is one of my favorites,
and I've had to take...
297
00:13:18,021 --> 00:13:21,146
I swear, she'll give the
key to the city to anyone.
298
00:13:22,646 --> 00:13:24,480
She probably tips with it at Starbucks.
299
00:13:25,980 --> 00:13:27,730
Was one of... one of...
a dear friend of mine
300
00:13:27,813 --> 00:13:29,063
for a couple of weeks, and...
301
00:13:29,146 --> 00:13:30,688
DJ says it's her 35th birthday,
302
00:13:30,771 --> 00:13:32,271
so we're doing 35 candles.
303
00:13:32,355 --> 00:13:34,938
I threw her 35th before
you were even here.
304
00:13:35,021 --> 00:13:36,646
- No one's gonna buy it.
- Yes, they will.
305
00:13:36,730 --> 00:13:37,855
She looks incredible.
306
00:13:37,938 --> 00:13:40,063
I'll go down to 38.
307
00:13:40,146 --> 00:13:42,646
Take it or leave it.
308
00:13:42,730 --> 00:13:44,230
I'll take it.
309
00:13:45,313 --> 00:13:48,146
But now, what is the color story now?
310
00:13:48,230 --> 00:13:49,855
- Gold and pink.
- Pink... I think just pink.
311
00:13:49,938 --> 00:13:54,063
So, thank you for giving me an excuse
312
00:13:54,146 --> 00:13:56,813
to live my own life.
313
00:13:56,896 --> 00:13:59,105
Because, honestly,
314
00:13:59,188 --> 00:14:02,563
it's nice to be with people
who actually wanna be around me
315
00:14:02,646 --> 00:14:05,271
and not just suck on
my titties for milk,
316
00:14:05,355 --> 00:14:06,938
and then turn on me, you know?
317
00:14:07,021 --> 00:14:08,063
Hear, hear.
318
00:14:08,146 --> 00:14:10,980
So, happy birthday, DJ,
319
00:14:11,063 --> 00:14:12,438
and congrats on Trish's.
320
00:14:12,521 --> 00:14:13,938
They have some really cute stuff there.
321
00:14:14,021 --> 00:14:15,271
So nice. Thank you.
322
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:17,646
- You're welcome.
- Hear, hear. Cheers.
323
00:14:21,688 --> 00:14:23,855
I'm sorry, I'm...
324
00:14:23,938 --> 00:14:25,646
not very good at this kind of thing.
325
00:14:25,730 --> 00:14:27,563
And, uh,
326
00:14:27,646 --> 00:14:28,980
especially nervous to do it
327
00:14:29,063 --> 00:14:31,230
in front of a world-famous
comedian, so...
328
00:14:32,938 --> 00:14:35,438
I'll keep it brief. Um...
329
00:14:35,521 --> 00:14:37,980
DJ, I love you. Happy birthday.
330
00:14:38,063 --> 00:14:39,063
Aww.
331
00:14:39,105 --> 00:14:41,188
Whoa. Very brief.
332
00:14:44,313 --> 00:14:46,063
Okay. You're up, Mom.
333
00:14:46,146 --> 00:14:48,688
Saved the best for last.
334
00:14:50,271 --> 00:14:53,813
Happy birthday, DJ.
This is getting scary.
335
00:14:53,896 --> 00:14:55,813
Pretty soon, you're gonna
be the same age as me.
336
00:14:58,521 --> 00:15:00,980
You know, DJ, we haven't
always seen eye to eye,
337
00:15:01,063 --> 00:15:03,646
and I know that you like to
say that actually my career
338
00:15:03,730 --> 00:15:06,396
is my favorite child,
but that's not true.
339
00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:07,646
I like you both the same.
340
00:15:10,771 --> 00:15:16,021
I've been thinking a lot
about the past lately.
341
00:15:16,105 --> 00:15:18,396
I had DJ very young, so as a child,
342
00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:21,313
she always accompanied me on the road.
343
00:15:21,396 --> 00:15:24,938
You know, always at my side.
344
00:15:25,021 --> 00:15:26,480
And I know some people didn't think
345
00:15:26,563 --> 00:15:28,688
that was a very good parenting choice,
346
00:15:28,771 --> 00:15:32,438
raising a toddler in comedy clubs.
347
00:15:34,230 --> 00:15:36,855
But for someone who lost
their parents very young...
348
00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:41,188
I knew that I would've given anything
349
00:15:41,271 --> 00:15:43,855
to spend more time with them.
350
00:15:43,938 --> 00:15:46,771
So I thought it was best...
351
00:15:46,855 --> 00:15:49,105
that you be with me.
352
00:15:49,188 --> 00:15:51,938
For better or worse.
353
00:15:52,021 --> 00:15:54,480
And for me, at least,
354
00:15:54,563 --> 00:15:56,230
it was always better.
355
00:15:59,563 --> 00:16:02,896
Um, but now you have Aidan by your side.
356
00:16:02,980 --> 00:16:05,605
And if he loves you
half as much as I do,
357
00:16:05,688 --> 00:16:07,313
then he's a keeper.
358
00:16:07,396 --> 00:16:09,230
Plus, he's got a great left hook.
359
00:16:10,605 --> 00:16:11,605
Cheers.
360
00:16:11,646 --> 00:16:12,896
Cheers.
361
00:16:12,980 --> 00:16:14,438
Oh, and, as an engagement gift,
362
00:16:14,521 --> 00:16:17,271
I'm paying my lawyer
to draw up your prenup.
363
00:16:19,146 --> 00:16:21,730
So romantic. Thanks.
364
00:16:21,813 --> 00:16:23,896
But we decided we're just gonna go ahead
365
00:16:23,980 --> 00:16:26,480
and do the old-fashioned thing
and get married, no prenup.
366
00:16:26,563 --> 00:16:27,730
Okay, honey.
367
00:16:27,813 --> 00:16:28,896
Leave the jokes to me.
368
00:16:30,646 --> 00:16:32,188
It's not a joke. We're
not gonna get a prenup.
369
00:16:32,271 --> 00:16:34,313
Oh, you are absolutely getting a prenup.
370
00:16:34,396 --> 00:16:35,896
How about when you get married,
371
00:16:35,980 --> 00:16:37,105
you can get yourself a prenup?
372
00:16:37,188 --> 00:16:39,063
But we are not doing one.
373
00:16:39,146 --> 00:16:40,396
This isn't up for discussion.
374
00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:41,813
I'm doing what's best for you.
375
00:16:41,896 --> 00:16:45,021
Okay, I am a grown -up,
and you can't make me.
376
00:16:45,105 --> 00:16:46,105
I taught you better than this.
377
00:16:46,188 --> 00:16:47,188
Don't be stupid.
378
00:16:47,230 --> 00:16:49,896
Laurie says it is not stupid to
trust my feelings, and right now, I...
379
00:16:49,980 --> 00:16:51,938
She's not even a psychologist.
380
00:16:52,021 --> 00:16:53,396
She's a social worker!
381
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:55,271
And if she can't figure
out her adult acne,
382
00:16:55,355 --> 00:16:57,480
she certainly can't
figure out your life.
383
00:16:57,563 --> 00:17:00,355
I said don't Google
her! That's what I said!
384
00:17:00,438 --> 00:17:03,021
You know, the sex tape,
and the Scientology stint,
385
00:17:03,105 --> 00:17:04,688
I could handle, but this?
386
00:17:04,771 --> 00:17:06,230
You know, you've
really outdone yourself.
387
00:17:06,313 --> 00:17:07,771
You know what? This is so stupid.
388
00:17:07,855 --> 00:17:09,271
It doesn't even matter.
It's not your money.
389
00:17:09,355 --> 00:17:12,063
Oh, please. Your whole life is my money.
390
00:17:12,146 --> 00:17:13,646
You know what?
391
00:17:13,730 --> 00:17:16,855
You're just jealous because
someone actually loves me.
392
00:17:16,938 --> 00:17:19,563
I give it two weeks. One, if he's smart.
393
00:17:19,646 --> 00:17:24,438
♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪
394
00:17:24,521 --> 00:17:29,313
♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪
395
00:17:29,396 --> 00:17:32,313
♪ Happy Birthday, dear DJ ♪
396
00:17:32,396 --> 00:17:34,771
Thanks a lot, Mom.
397
00:17:40,355 --> 00:17:41,980
Who wants cake?
398
00:17:52,438 --> 00:17:53,605
Hey, where are you?
399
00:17:53,688 --> 00:17:55,355
- I'm home.
- Wait, what?
400
00:17:55,438 --> 00:17:57,313
I... I thought you were in the bathroom.
401
00:17:57,396 --> 00:17:58,980
I told them not to clear your dessert!
402
00:17:59,063 --> 00:18:00,230
I know, I'm sorry.
403
00:18:00,313 --> 00:18:02,188
That fight just made me realize
404
00:18:02,271 --> 00:18:04,730
that I gotta make it work with Luna.
405
00:18:04,813 --> 00:18:07,396
I'm actually in her
bed with her right now.
406
00:18:07,480 --> 00:18:09,563
I forgive her. She forgives me.
407
00:18:09,646 --> 00:18:11,855
It's all water under the bridge.
408
00:18:11,938 --> 00:18:13,438
And I've been thinking.
409
00:18:13,521 --> 00:18:16,021
You should really go
for it with Deborah.
410
00:18:16,105 --> 00:18:17,771
Maybe it'll help you figure things out?
411
00:18:17,855 --> 00:18:19,355
Uh, no, I'm not gonna go for it.
412
00:18:19,438 --> 00:18:21,355
I'm gonna eat your dessert and go home.
413
00:18:21,438 --> 00:18:22,730
Okay.
414
00:18:22,813 --> 00:18:23,855
Bye, girl.
415
00:18:23,938 --> 00:18:25,605
Okay, bye.
416
00:18:25,688 --> 00:18:27,188
Ava?
417
00:18:27,271 --> 00:18:28,521
Would you mind talking to DJ?
418
00:18:28,605 --> 00:18:29,938
She's really upset.
419
00:18:30,021 --> 00:18:31,521
- Me?
- Yeah.
420
00:18:31,605 --> 00:18:32,688
Okay. Yeah, of course.
421
00:18:32,771 --> 00:18:34,188
All right, she's upstairs.
422
00:18:34,271 --> 00:18:36,188
- Okay.
- Hey, thank you.
423
00:18:36,271 --> 00:18:38,396
Yeah.
424
00:18:46,188 --> 00:18:48,271
Shit's $600.
425
00:18:48,355 --> 00:18:49,896
Okay.
426
00:18:49,980 --> 00:18:52,688
God. She's such a bitch.
427
00:18:52,771 --> 00:18:54,063
Did you hear her back there?
428
00:18:54,146 --> 00:18:56,105
Who talks to their kid like that?
429
00:18:56,188 --> 00:18:58,813
I totally understand.
430
00:18:58,896 --> 00:19:00,271
But...
431
00:19:01,313 --> 00:19:03,230
I think she's just
trying to protect you,
432
00:19:03,313 --> 00:19:04,896
in her own fucked up way.
433
00:19:04,980 --> 00:19:06,438
Well, it doesn't feel like it!
434
00:19:06,521 --> 00:19:07,855
To... yeah.
435
00:19:07,938 --> 00:19:10,563
Maybe she's just, like, scared?
436
00:19:10,646 --> 00:19:13,396
And she's...
437
00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:15,855
just not wanting to see
438
00:19:15,938 --> 00:19:17,646
anything taken away from you
439
00:19:17,730 --> 00:19:19,396
the way it was taken away from her?
440
00:19:19,480 --> 00:19:21,271
Fuck!
441
00:19:21,980 --> 00:19:24,730
I just had this fantasy
that she'd just see
442
00:19:24,813 --> 00:19:26,980
that things were going
well for me, you know?
443
00:19:27,063 --> 00:19:28,771
And maybe be proud of me.
444
00:19:28,855 --> 00:19:30,855
And things would...
445
00:19:30,938 --> 00:19:33,271
I don't fucking know,
be normal for once?
446
00:19:34,438 --> 00:19:35,855
I hear you.
447
00:19:35,938 --> 00:19:38,396
That's totally fair.
448
00:19:38,480 --> 00:19:40,438
I'm sorry. I'm really sorry
to dump all this on you.
449
00:19:40,521 --> 00:19:41,938
I don't mean to.
450
00:19:42,021 --> 00:19:43,771
I just feel like you get
it when it comes to her.
451
00:19:43,855 --> 00:19:45,146
Yeah, I do.
452
00:19:45,230 --> 00:19:49,855
Honestly, my closest relationship
right now is with your mom.
453
00:19:51,230 --> 00:19:54,105
Right.
454
00:19:54,188 --> 00:19:55,521
I've never been this close to someone
455
00:19:55,605 --> 00:19:58,188
I'm not hooking up with, which means...
456
00:19:59,605 --> 00:20:01,188
I just have a fucked
up sense of intimacy.
457
00:20:01,271 --> 00:20:03,480
It's not that I'm actually
attracted to your mom.
458
00:20:03,563 --> 00:20:04,980
Oh.
459
00:20:05,063 --> 00:20:06,771
What?
460
00:20:06,855 --> 00:20:08,605
That was nothing.
461
00:20:08,688 --> 00:20:10,563
Um, DJ,
462
00:20:10,646 --> 00:20:12,730
it's, like, the most
normal thing in the world
463
00:20:12,813 --> 00:20:15,646
to want your mom to be
proud of you, you know?
464
00:20:15,730 --> 00:20:19,563
And she can definitely get in your head.
465
00:20:19,646 --> 00:20:21,521
But, um...
466
00:20:23,688 --> 00:20:25,813
I... I don't know. Maybe...
467
00:20:25,896 --> 00:20:28,105
stop waiting for her to be proud of you,
468
00:20:28,188 --> 00:20:30,146
and start doing things
469
00:20:30,230 --> 00:20:32,230
that make you feel proud of yourself.
470
00:20:36,063 --> 00:20:38,396
Yeah. Yep, that actually makes sense.
471
00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:40,896
Thank you.
472
00:20:40,980 --> 00:20:43,646
- Can you drive us home?
- Of course.
473
00:20:44,813 --> 00:20:47,146
Hey, how come you're
not wearing my earrings?
474
00:20:47,230 --> 00:20:48,813
- Oh, I...
- It's fine.
475
00:20:48,896 --> 00:20:51,146
- I have some extra in my bag.
- Great.
476
00:20:51,230 --> 00:20:54,355
Hope you enjoyed the free show!
477
00:20:56,605 --> 00:20:58,855
Happy birthday.
478
00:21:03,605 --> 00:21:05,938
I'm just driving them home.
479
00:21:06,021 --> 00:21:07,438
Have fun.
480
00:21:14,396 --> 00:21:17,480
Your car is ready at the
valet, Ms. Pezzimenti.
481
00:21:17,563 --> 00:21:19,313
I'm not quite ready to go just yet.
482
00:21:19,396 --> 00:21:20,646
Marty and I are in the middle
483
00:21:20,730 --> 00:21:22,521
of a very stimulating conversation.
484
00:21:22,605 --> 00:21:24,230
He's just in the little boys' room.
485
00:21:24,313 --> 00:21:25,646
The party was 7:00 to 10:00.
486
00:21:25,730 --> 00:21:27,730
Those times are not real.
487
00:21:27,813 --> 00:21:29,980
You understand that?
488
00:21:30,063 --> 00:21:32,355
I'm just gonna wait here
until Marty gets back, though.
489
00:21:32,438 --> 00:21:33,730
I don't want to be rude.
490
00:21:33,813 --> 00:21:36,355
You have no power here.
491
00:21:41,188 --> 00:21:42,730
Jeez.
492
00:21:42,813 --> 00:21:44,438
Okay.
493
00:21:44,521 --> 00:21:47,230
Feel like I'm being
arrested or something.
494
00:21:57,021 --> 00:21:59,730
Okay, pull right up in here.
495
00:21:59,813 --> 00:22:02,146
Wait. In here?
496
00:22:02,230 --> 00:22:04,396
What... am I turning around in here?
497
00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:06,813
Nope. We're here.
498
00:22:06,896 --> 00:22:08,563
Oh, shit. No.
499
00:22:10,105 --> 00:22:12,230
No, no, no. Don't get married right now.
500
00:22:12,313 --> 00:22:14,463
DJ, don't do this just
to piss off your mom.
501
00:22:14,546 --> 00:22:16,355
I'm not. Ava, you were right.
502
00:22:16,438 --> 00:22:18,271
I gotta start doing things for me.
503
00:22:18,355 --> 00:22:20,396
And getting married right
now is what we wanna do.
504
00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:23,480
No. I... I was thinking more
along the lines of, like,
505
00:22:23,563 --> 00:22:27,063
taking a pottery class
or getting your GED.
506
00:22:28,063 --> 00:22:29,605
My GED?
507
00:22:29,688 --> 00:22:31,605
I went to Cornell.
508
00:22:32,688 --> 00:22:33,938
Y... yeah.
509
00:22:34,021 --> 00:22:37,105
And I... I know that,
which... which is why
510
00:22:37,188 --> 00:22:39,105
you're smart enough to
know not to do this...
511
00:22:39,188 --> 00:22:40,188
Hello.
512
00:22:40,189 --> 00:22:41,896
Welcome to the Tunnel of Love.
513
00:22:41,980 --> 00:22:44,646
Hi. Thank you.
514
00:22:46,855 --> 00:22:48,438
Ah, the "MJ Package"?
515
00:22:48,521 --> 00:22:50,271
No shit. Michael Jackson?
516
00:22:50,355 --> 00:22:51,563
No, no. Michael Jordan.
517
00:22:51,646 --> 00:22:53,605
Oh.
518
00:22:53,688 --> 00:22:55,146
- No?
- No.
519
00:23:01,813 --> 00:23:02,980
Last man standing?
520
00:23:03,063 --> 00:23:04,688
Looks like it.
521
00:23:05,813 --> 00:23:08,438
That's good.
522
00:23:09,105 --> 00:23:11,521
Good, I, um...
523
00:23:11,605 --> 00:23:15,480
I wanted to...
524
00:23:15,563 --> 00:23:16,730
Oh.
525
00:23:16,813 --> 00:23:18,771
Thank you.
526
00:23:18,855 --> 00:23:21,146
I wanted to...
527
00:23:22,896 --> 00:23:23,938
Hello?
528
00:23:24,021 --> 00:23:25,021
Hey.
529
00:23:25,063 --> 00:23:27,396
Uh, so,
530
00:23:27,480 --> 00:23:31,188
don't freak out, but
DJ... DJ's getting married.
531
00:23:31,271 --> 00:23:33,313
Like... like, right now.
532
00:23:33,396 --> 00:23:35,313
What? N... no, where are you?
533
00:23:35,396 --> 00:23:37,021
We're at a drive-through chapel.
534
00:23:37,105 --> 00:23:38,938
Look, I tried to stop
her, but she's doing it.
535
00:23:39,021 --> 00:23:40,688
And I... I really think you'd regret it
536
00:23:40,771 --> 00:23:44,521
if you weren't a part of
this, so just watch, okay?
537
00:23:45,563 --> 00:23:47,521
Please?
538
00:23:47,605 --> 00:23:48,813
Okay.
539
00:23:48,896 --> 00:23:51,021
Okay.
540
00:23:52,855 --> 00:23:55,271
Ow, these D'Jewels are fucking heavy.
541
00:23:57,521 --> 00:23:58,855
Okay.
542
00:23:58,938 --> 00:24:00,438
We're gathered here this evening
543
00:24:00,521 --> 00:24:02,271
to celebrate the true love between...
544
00:24:03,688 --> 00:24:05,355
Oh, shit. Sorry.
545
00:24:05,438 --> 00:24:07,438
Sorry. My foot hit the gas.
546
00:24:07,521 --> 00:24:08,896
Sorry. I'm turning it off.
547
00:24:08,980 --> 00:24:10,855
Okay. Go ahead, go ahead.
548
00:24:10,938 --> 00:24:13,605
We're gathered here
to celebrate your love.
549
00:24:13,688 --> 00:24:16,313
You've chosen to recite your own vows?
550
00:24:16,396 --> 00:24:17,396
Yeah.
551
00:24:17,438 --> 00:24:19,355
Now would be the time.
552
00:24:19,438 --> 00:24:20,521
DJ,
553
00:24:20,605 --> 00:24:21,896
when you walked into my life,
554
00:24:21,980 --> 00:24:25,063
I realized how much I'd been missing.
555
00:24:26,063 --> 00:24:28,313
The only problem is, you
made me a worse fighter.
556
00:24:30,355 --> 00:24:31,563
Before you, I didn't care
557
00:24:31,646 --> 00:24:33,605
what happened to me in the cage.
558
00:24:33,688 --> 00:24:35,563
But now,
559
00:24:35,646 --> 00:24:37,230
I gotta be careful.
560
00:24:37,313 --> 00:24:39,188
Because I can't risk anything
561
00:24:39,271 --> 00:24:40,355
ruining the life
562
00:24:40,438 --> 00:24:41,896
that we're gonna build together.
563
00:24:45,063 --> 00:24:46,563
Aidan,
564
00:24:46,646 --> 00:24:49,688
I know that I'm not always
the easiest person to love,
565
00:24:49,771 --> 00:24:51,688
but you always see the best in me,
566
00:24:51,771 --> 00:24:53,855
and you always make loving me
567
00:24:53,938 --> 00:24:56,396
feel like the easiest
thing in the world.
568
00:24:57,313 --> 00:25:00,938
Thank you for teaching
me how to love myself.
569
00:25:01,021 --> 00:25:03,355
Aidan, do you take Deborah Junior
570
00:25:03,438 --> 00:25:05,605
to be your lawful wedded wife?
571
00:25:06,355 --> 00:25:07,605
I do.
572
00:25:08,980 --> 00:25:11,021
And Deborah Junior, do you take Aidan
573
00:25:11,105 --> 00:25:12,771
to be your lawful wedded husband?
574
00:25:12,855 --> 00:25:14,146
I do.
575
00:25:14,230 --> 00:25:17,021
Well, I now pronounce
you husband and wife.
576
00:25:17,105 --> 00:25:18,605
You may kiss the bride.
577
00:25:26,938 --> 00:25:29,063
Okay, I'm gonna go.
578
00:25:31,896 --> 00:25:33,480
Leave it to her.
579
00:25:36,771 --> 00:25:37,896
Congratulations.
580
00:25:37,980 --> 00:25:39,771
God.
581
00:25:39,855 --> 00:25:42,438
Not every day your
daughter gets married.
582
00:25:42,521 --> 00:25:44,813
Hey, you know what this calls for?
583
00:25:44,896 --> 00:25:46,313
Champagne.
584
00:25:47,438 --> 00:25:49,021
Be right back.
585
00:25:58,563 --> 00:26:00,188
Well, at least now I don't have to worry
586
00:26:00,271 --> 00:26:02,980
about walking her down the aisle.
587
00:26:03,063 --> 00:26:04,480
You know how I hate attention.
588
00:26:10,646 --> 00:26:14,105
Ah, now this is the
one I was waiting for.
589
00:26:14,188 --> 00:26:15,938
Oh, I love this song.
590
00:26:16,021 --> 00:26:17,563
♪ You'd better let love... ♪
591
00:26:17,646 --> 00:26:20,230
May I ask the mother of
the bride for this dance?
592
00:26:20,313 --> 00:26:22,605
Oh, my God. "Mother of the bride"?
593
00:26:24,730 --> 00:26:27,480
♪ I know it so ♪
594
00:26:27,563 --> 00:26:31,188
♪ And yet I know ♪
595
00:26:32,771 --> 00:26:37,563
♪ I can't get you out of my heart ♪
596
00:26:39,980 --> 00:26:44,063
♪ You ♪
597
00:26:44,146 --> 00:26:47,771
♪ Made me leave my happy home ♪
598
00:26:47,855 --> 00:26:50,980
Thanks for coming.
599
00:26:51,063 --> 00:26:52,563
I was happy to be here.
600
00:26:52,646 --> 00:26:54,980
♪ You took my love and now ♪
601
00:26:55,063 --> 00:26:56,896
Me too.
602
00:26:59,438 --> 00:27:04,438
♪ Since I fell for you ♪
603
00:27:08,730 --> 00:27:13,980
♪ Love ♪
604
00:27:14,063 --> 00:27:21,230
♪ Brings such misery and pain ♪
605
00:27:22,188 --> 00:27:27,313
♪ I guess I'll never be the same ♪
606
00:27:29,646 --> 00:27:33,938
♪ Since I fell for you ♪
607
00:27:34,021 --> 00:27:39,021
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.MY-SUBS.com -
608
00:27:39,771 --> 00:27:43,355
♪ Well it's too bad ♪
609
00:27:43,438 --> 00:27:47,063
♪ And it's too sad ♪
610
00:27:47,146 --> 00:27:53,230
♪ But I'm in love with you ♪
611
00:27:55,438 --> 00:27:58,188
♪ You love me ♪
612
00:27:58,271 --> 00:28:01,896
♪ Then you snub me ♪
613
00:28:01,980 --> 00:28:05,688
♪ But what can I do ♪
614
00:28:05,771 --> 00:28:12,855
♪ When I'm still in love with you? ♪
615
00:28:24,271 --> 00:28:27,355
♪ I ♪
41950
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