All language subtitles for Co_Ed_Confidential_S01E11_720p_HDTV_TVV_30NAMA

All we want to know is where we'll be
staying. Looks like we're all going to

roommates. Yes.

We're free to do what we want, when we
want, and who we want.

You're an incredible actor.

I fucking love Colin.

Is this guy for real?

Oh, yeah.

Who's your daddy? Brian Talbert. Why?

I just want a good education.

What are you talking about?

So, the Impressionist period was a time
of... I can't do this.

I'm no good at speaking in front of
people.

It's just me, Jose.

Yeah, look how badly I'm doing.

Tomorrow's going to be in front of a
panel of professors.

You know what they say. When you're
scared to speak in public, just picture

audience in their underwear.

I don't really want to picture Professor
Lasky in his underwear.

Thanks. Yeah.

Would this help?

Still nervous.

Better, but there's still a few jitters.

Radical Thunder Time.

Early Impressionists began the rules of
academic painting.

They began by giving color, freely
brushed, prematurely aligned.

Drawing inspiration from the work of
great painters, such as Eugene

You're making me so hot.

Although, the rise of Impressionism in
France happened at a time when a

number... A time when a number of
other... Great needs.

Now, for your ovation.

There's a changing wind from the outside
in.

Underneath my skin, flowing by my

mind.

Ignorance was lit, but there was so much
mist.

It's not a more...

There's nothing to see Under the weight
of the world That is waiting for me To

let go of the past I'm breaking free And
out of that

I'm becoming

I'm breaking free

and out of gas.

I'm becoming...

Nothing to fear from the way of the
world That is waiting for me To let go

the past I'm breaking free And out of
the gas Coming in late

Waiting for me To let go of the past I'm
breaking free

And out of the gas I'm coming

That's the spot.

Oh, that's... Oh, man. Call home.

Damn.

Freddy, how much longer do I have to do
this for?

Until the penis you broke gets better.

Get over it already. It was an accident.

You want to get in between his toes.

You know what I mean? Get in between the
toes.

Right there, right there, right there.
That's the spot.

You hear the doorbell ring?

It's a little too nice, actually. It's
your turn.

Like hell it is. I got the last ring.

Good news, sleep's till 12.

Well, maybe they'll ring back. Give us a
ring back.

Give me my ring back.

I think maybe he's afraid. Hey, after
you finish the toe job, don't think I

haven't got plans for you. Please don't
make me do it again. I almost lost the

ping pong ball last time. I'll leave my
car, but I want you to watch this first.

Estamos en apuro grande.

Aaron, you know this guy?

Yeah. Why's your gardener here?

Do you think just because he's Mexican,
he must be a gardener? Then who is he?

My husband.

Oh!

He's gonna be better than my soaps.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

You're married to this guy.

If you saw him in bed, you'd be married
to him, too.

Actually, my step -monster.

Who I never really liked, but still.

So one look and you thought, I gotta
give me some of that.

No, that's not how it went down. So how
did it go down?

Actually, it went down like this.

Mom? Karen, I thought that you went
down... Karen, have you seen the...

Gardener?

So he is your gardener.

Needless to say, my dad was less than
thrilled.

Stop it!

Guillermo, run!

Yeah, it wasn't pretty.

Guillermo got away, but my dad's not one
to give up, and he's been known to

fight dirty.

He called the INS on Guillermo and tried
to get him deported, so... You

married him?

Yeah, that's what you do when you feel
bad for someone.

Well, shit, Karen, I failed my midterms.
You want to have my baby?

No, Freddy, that would actually require
you to be able to fuck me.

Guillermo, calm down. What happened?

English, I can't understand you.

Jose!

Jose!

Where's the fire?

What's he saying?

He's your husband.

How am I supposed to know?

Oh, because I'm Mexican, I'm supposed to
know Spanish?

Well, yeah.

I was born in Long Beach.

I've never been to Mexico in my life.

Okay,

slow down.

Okay, I got trouble.

I'm pretty sure I heard deported. Uh
-huh. And INS, what's that mean? See?

That means we're in a world of shit.
See? World of shit. Oh, now we speak

English. Oh, convenient.

Are they investigating us? See?

And they're coming here. A key?

See? Tomorrow.

Oh, my God. If INS comes and they find
out our marriage is a fake, he's going

get deported and I'm going to get
arrested.

Dun,

dun, dun.

Guillermo, um, uno, euro, us, Maryville?

Yeah, I have all the paperwork to prove
it, but we've never lived together, and

no joint bank accounts, no pictures
together.

So as our lawyer, I'm asking you, what
are our chances?

You screwed the pooch.

No.

No sex, though, with Miss Cogby.

What about the honeymoon?

No honeymoon.

Freddie, we've never had sex.

An old?

What do you mean, an old?

You're telling me that our marriage has
been valid unless we've consummated it?

Oh, shit.

Shit, you guys. I and S is here.

Man, the man's never looked so good.

Stay calm.

You stay calm.

They're coming to arrest us.

It's okay.

I go.

There's only one way out of this.

Si?

Wait, you're not thinking what I think
you're thinking.

We consummate the marriage. No, over my
dead body, no.

Not for real, Freddy. We fake it.

INS lady comes in and sees us in bed,
faking it, and then everything's cool.

Fake. 100 % bogus. Not real at all.

Promise you won't enjoy it.

I'll try not to.

Okay,

I'll hate every second of it.

Okay.

I promise

we won't do anything you couldn't do.

See, one more joke about that, I'm out
of here.

Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'll make it
up to you when your penis mends, okay?

Your penis is broken?

Guess we should get this over with.

INS, is there a Karen Hargreaves here?

Karen?

Karen, let me think. Is there a Karen
here?

It's kind of a yes or no question.

Oh, wow, that's funny.

You're funny.

I didn't think you government suits had
a sense of humor, but, you know, I...

Wow.

You're such a regular laugh, Brian.

While I appreciate your critique of my
stand -up skills, I must warn you that

it's a federal offense to interfere with
an official on government business.

Karen, you say?

Karen Hargreaves.

Oh, well, she's here, yeah.

Upstairs with her husband, consummating.
I mean, having sex.

Oh, uh...

Like rabbits.

Crazy kids, you know.

Okay.

Mr. Ibarra, you're up.

Show us what you got.

I've lost my voice.

Your voice is fine. Come on, knock our
socks off.

I assume you're going somewhere with
this.

Oh, pretty picture.

Come on, baby.

Post -impressionism.

developed in the 1880s.

Several artists

began to develop different precepts for
the use of

color,

pattern, form, and line.

Impressionists took advantage of the mid
-century introduction of premixed paint

in lead tubes, which allowed artists to
work more spontaneously.

Previously, painters made their own
paints by grinding, rubbing,

and... Mr. Ibarra, keep going.

So that's why Impressionist has such its
own style.

And continue to inspire us, oh God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Movement today.

Well, it's nice to see that you have
such enthusiasm for the subject.

Do you have an idea?

I need to...

Where

is my Hermosa?

What was that?

Okay, remember,

this is fake sex.

Not real, okay?

Faco, pretendo, okay?

Let's make this look good.

Anytime now?

How long have you known Miss Hargreaves?

Since Cole started.

A few months.

Have you met her husband? Oh, yeah.

Go way back.

Elmo's the man.

Guillermo. Yeah, that's the dude.

We're buddies.

Amigos.

Doritos.

So, they let you carry a gun?

We're not at liberty to say whether we
carry firearms.

We can keep your back in heat.

Wow, so do you ever give a cavity
search?

Do you have something to hide, Mr.
Silver?

No, but if you promise to be real
gentle... You have an unhealthy interest

what it is that I do. I do.

I really do. I always wanted to become
an IBS agent.

INS. IBS is Irritable Bowel Syndrome.
Oh, right up my alley, so to speak.

Oh, you know, I think actually Karen is
over here in the basement.

She spends a lot of her time down here.
You know, allergic to the sun, eats

spiders. Weird chick.

You better have a ridiculously oversized
check waiting for me.

No one told me it was a toga party.

Yeah, listen,

whatever you're selling, I'm buying.

Darling, you can't afford me.

If you're trying to seduce me, it's
working.

Keep it coming.

I'll sign for it. I'll sign for it.

Sign for what?

We're still negotiating.

Oh, I thought you were someone else.

Darling, I am someone else.

Okay, I give up.

Who the fuck are you?

I'm here to see Karen.

You have to. It's our only chance.

If they catch you here before we
consummate our marriage, you'll be on

plane back home.

It's not right, no?

There has to be something else we can do
about this.

I pressed you to ayuda, but it's over.

Karen, how could you?

Mom!

Can't a concerned stepmother check up on
her stepdaughter?

Yeah, a concerned step -parent... I have
a job to do and I intend to do it.

See?

Rabbits, I'm telling you.

People have tried to trick us before.

I can always tell if what I'm seeing is
real.

Uh, Miss Hargreaves?

Sorry to bother you.

All right, I'm

satisfied. Looks like you're not the
only one.

I'll shut you up for two minutes.
Anything.

What about Lord of the Ring?

Nah, those little people scare me for
some reason.

All right. What about The Ring?

Are you trying to get at something here?
What do you think?

I think you know where I stand on big
-budget remakes of Japanese horror

What about The Ring 2?

Guess this is goodbye.

Thank you.

You were an awesome fake husband.

Adios, Kat.

Yoo -hoo!

Hey, Tara. You need a ride?

I know I do.

happened to, uh, Teco Pretendo?

Freddy, it's not what you think.

Oh, I heard enough. Believe me.

I didn't do anything.

Another jab in my crooked cock.

Hey, nice going.

Freddy, I did not make love to
Guillermo.

I know you didn't make love to him.

You two fuck like rabbits. You bang like
a barn door in the wind. You fucked his

brains out.

If you don't believe me, then fine.

Think what you want.

You know what?

I did fuck him, Freddie, and he was the
best lay of my life.

I'm sorry, Freddie. I didn't want to get
you involved in all of this.

I never wanted to hurt you.

I'm not hurt.

You didn't hurt me.

You look hurt.

Because I won't shit right for a week.

What?

I kept pushing about that cavity thirst
thing.

I pushed too far, if you know what I
mean.

Well, how's the most important organ?

My heart?

No, I meant your penis, but... Oh, both
broken.

Oh, no.

What does Don Silverman have that I
don't?

Who's this naughty little... Stay away
from my daughter.

They don't call him Long John Silverman
for nothing.

Not bad.

She's never ever, never ever better than
me.

She's never ever, never ever better than
me.

She's never ever, ever better than me.