All language subtitles for Bewitched.S01E26.Driving.Is.the.Only.Way.to.Fly.Imprint.Black.and.White.1080p.BluRay.FLAC2.0.H.264-BTN_track4_[eng]

And he swings
and misses for strike three,

and they're two away
here in the sixth inning,

as the bags remain loaded...

I'm ready.

Ready for what?

My first driving lesson.

Honey, the Sox are loaded at
the bottom of the sixth inning.

But I thought you were
so anxious--

Shh.

Yes, he's bringing in
the left-hander.

It's going to be the old...

Okay, you can talk now.

Thank you.

I thought you were
so anxious to teach me.

I am.

I mean, I was

until I found out they were
gonna televise the game.

I'd be perfectly willing
to forget the whole thing.

After all, why should
I learn how to drive

when I already know how to fly?

We've been through all this.

You should learn to drive

because the way you fly
is for the birds.

Look at it this way.

I get where I want to go faster,

I save money on gas and oil,

and I always find
a parking space.

You should learn how to drive

because the normal wife
uses normal transportation.

It's part of the American dream.

All right.
All right, you win.

But teach me now
so I can start dinner early.

I'll teach you
as soon as the game is over.

Watching baseball
on Sunday afternoon

is part of
the American dream too.

Okay, fans, we're set
for more live action

here at Cincinnati's historic
Crosley Field.

Now the crafty left-hander
gets the sign.

I can't believe it.
It's raining!

Oh, no.

Oh, look at this!

I can't believe it--

They'll cancel and reschedule.

Okay.

I'll teach you
how to drive.

Yes, sir.

Okay, honey, you sit
in the driver's seat.

You comfortable? Relaxed?

Yes and no.

Clarification.

I'm comfortable,
but I'm nervous.

I'll relax you
with a kiss.

Now, we proceed
as follows.

Put your left hand
on the wheel...

and with your right hand
go like this.

What's that for?

That is the classic gesture

without which no woman driver
can learn to drive.

Ha, ha.

After you become
more advanced,

I'll teach you how to blow
on your left hand

to dry your fingernail polish

and steer with your knees.

Darrin, I'm in no mood
for poor jokes.

These newfangled gadgets
scare me.

Newfangled gadgets?

Well, they're new to me.

I'm sorry, sweetheart.

Well, we'll start here.

Uh, this is the gear selector.

Now, P is for park,

R, reverse,

N, neutral,

D, drive,

L, low.

You try it.

P for park, R for reverse,

N, neutral, D, drive,
L for low.

Okay, we'll start
with neutral.

Did I get them all right?

Yes. Neutral--

I bet you thought I wouldn't
because I'm so nervous.

May I continue?
Neutral is--

Please do.
I'm sorry I interrupted.

Neutral is--
It won't happen again.

Neutral is where
you place the lever

when you want
to start the car.

How come it isn't
called S or SC?

I don't know.

Next you go to drive.

Drive is where you put the lever
when you want to go forward.

In that case,
why don't they call it F?

Because they don't.

But, Darrin, that's no answer.

If you want me to understand,
you have to explain.

Excuse me.

I don't know why
they don't call it F.

That's better.

Low is infrequently used,

so we'll table that
for a later discussion.

We'll go directly to reverse.

Can you guess
what reverse is for?

For reversing lanes
in traffic.

Wrong.

For going backward.

Backward should be B.

These initials are illogical.

Having mastered
the gear positions,

here's the ignition key.

They call it ignition
because it ignites the engine.

The engine ignites?

Isn't that dangerous?

Sam, I'm beginning
to lose patience.

If you challenge
every statement I make,

this driving lesson
could take a year.

Therefore, please keep quiet.

Now put the key
in the ignition.

Put the lever in neutral.

Turn the key to the right
to start the car.

Take off the brake.

Put the lever in reverse.

Put your right foot
on the accelerator

and back out
of the driveway.

Just like that?

Just like that.

Backing out of the driveway
is hard.

Why don't you turn the car
around and let me front out?

No.

Why not?

I don't feel like it.

I see.

You feel like being mean.

Sam, I'm not being mean.
I'm merely trying--

Yes, you are.

You're being
high-handed and rude,

and you even told me
to shut up.

I did not.
I told you to keep quiet.

It's the same thing.
It is not.

It is too.

Your entire attitude
is unsympathetic

and proves beyond
a shadow of a doubt

that you don't love me
and you never did.

Sam--
Don't you touch me.

The lesson is over,

and I am going into the H...
for house!

It's incredible, fans.

The playing field
here in Cincinnati

is in danger of being
washed away by a flash flood.

Why, in all the years I've been
broadcasting, I've never seen--

Oh, hold everything!

It's stopped raining.

Crosley Field is saved

as if by magic.

I do believe the umpires

will be out here
in just a moment...

...but certainly,
the field is safe.

Hello, sweetheart.

This is your husband, D.

D for dearest or D for darling?

D for dumb.

I'm sorry I yelled at you
in the car yesterday.

You apologized already,
remember?

Yeah, I remember.

Anyway, I called
the driving school

and made a tentative
appointment for you at 11 :00.

If that's all right with you,
I'll confirm it.

Are you sure you want me
to go through with this?

By all means.

And don't be nervous,
sweetheart.

This time you'll be in the hands
of a professional.

I'm sure
everything will be fine.

All right, darling,
whatever you say.

Bye.

Reliable Driving School.

Oh, yes, Mr. Stephens, yeah.

Oh, yes, you understand
it's 10 bucks a lesson,

including home pickup
and delivery?

Yes, I remember.

I just called to verify

Mrs. Stephens'
11 :00 appointment.

Fine. 11 :00 this morning
will be fine, Mr. Stephens.

Let me have that address,
please.

It's 1164 Morning Glory Circle.

Uh-huh.

Fine.

Well, thank you, Mr. Stephens.

I will send Mrs. Stephens

one of the best instructors
in the business.

Thank you.

Harold, you bum, come here!

Yes, Basil?

Due to the condition

that all of my competent
instructors are booked solid,

I'm going to give you one last
chance to redeem yourself.

Oh, I can't tell you
how grateful I am.

Sincerely--

All right, all right.
Now, don't grovel.

If you weren't
my wife's brother,

I wouldn't
give you nothing!

Oh, I'm not unmindful
of that, Basil.

As you know, I've got
three other married sisters,

but you're the only
brother-in-law

that I feel any sense
of communication with.

Yeah, because their suits
don't fit you.

It's a nice fit, thank you.

That's what I mean.

You are basically a--
A good human being.

Has, uh, Sheila ever talked
to you about what I was like

when we were kids
at home with Mom?

Sheila talks all the time,
I don't listen.

It was a world of little women.

Four sisters, Mother
and... Aunt Adelaide.

No wonder Dad reported himself
missing in action

during the last unpleasantness.

I mean, there's just so much--

Wait a minute. Hold it, hold it!

I don't know how
Sheila talked me into this.

You're too nervous
for this kind of work.

But you are
the only thing I got,

so you are gonna teach
a Mrs., um...

Savannah Stephens

how to operate
a motor automobile.

And you are gonna
teach her good!

And if you fail,

our mutual relative

irregardless
and not withstanding,

you are fired!

And stop eating cookies when
I'm giving you an assignment!

Basil, this isn't a cookie.

No? What is it?

A tranquillizer.

I need such a big one,

the doctor prescribes it
in the form of a wafer.

I'm Reliable.

That's good.

My name's Samantha Stephens.

Aren't you gonna tell me yours?

Harold Harold here.

Hello, hello there.

I'm-- I'm sorry, but it is
rather an unusual name.

By the time Mother named
my sisters, she was exhausted.

Oh, I see.

Would you like to join me
in a cup of coffee?

Do you think we can both fit?

I always like to open with
a joke to break the tension.

Good idea.

Won't you have a seat?

Yes.

How do you take it?

Uh, black.

One-third of a cup.

Why only one-third?

To protect the carpet.

There.

Thank you.

I see what you mean.

Cookie?

Oh, no thanks.
I brought my own.

Mr. Harold.

Mm-hmm?

How long have you been
an instructor?

Three grueling weeks.

What did you do before that?

Last month I was a cashier
in a pizza parlor,

and the month before,

I was an apprentice plumber,

and the month before that...

I was a cheap shoe salesman.

Four jobs in four months?

I have four brothers-in-law

who take turns
hiring and firing me.

It's a vicious circle.

And that's why
I tend to be insecure.

Hello.

Hi, honey.

I'm calling to find out if your
driving teacher showed up.

Oh, yes, he's here.

He is? What's he like?

Well, I'd say he's a man
of considerable experience.

As long as I know
you're in good hands,

I won't keep you.

Happy driving.

Thank you, darling. Bye.

That was my husband.

He called to wish me good luck.

We'll need it.

Well, shall we go?

I guess.

Oh, do I get in here?

No, no. You get in the
driver's side, Mrs. Stephens.

Some of my students
take one look at me

and refuse
to get in the car.

Not me. I like you.

They worry about accidents.

I've always felt I have
what they call a charmed life.

Oh, good.

Ready?

Ready.

Oh, dear.

N is for neutral,

where you place lever
to start car.

Odd, isn't it? You'd think
they'd call it S or SC.

Turn ignition key
to ignite car.

Ignite car?!

That's right.

D for forward.

You're too far
to the left!

Too far to the right!

Now you're too far
in the middle!

How can I be
too far in the middle?

By straddling the white line.

What white line?

Well, get over.

Now you're too far right again!

Please don't yell, Mr. Harold.
You're making me nervous.

I make you nervous?

Mrs. Stephens,
you make me nervous.

I was nervous first.

That's true.

I apologize.

Thank you.

At the next intersection
slow down.

Execute the appropriate
hand signal

and turn right.

Stop!

S-stop!

I told you
to turn right.

Well, it was one way.

The wrong way.

Oh. Touché.

However, you should have gone
straight ahead

because this is
a business district

with actual traffic.

So back up.

There's a car
behind us.

Well, signal it to pass.

Oh, all right,
plunge onward.

Selfish! Selfish!

Good morning.

He ordered you to halt.

He did?

I thought he was
saying hello.

That's all Basil has to see,
a ticket.

Who's Basil?

Mrs. Stephens,
don't talk, drive.

How am I doing?

How to phrase it
tactfully?

You are rotten.

Be careful!
There's a moving van up ahead!

W-w-what happened?

Everything's fine.

W-w-we're going
the other way.

Oh.

Well, I'll make
a U-turn.

No-- Oh, no!

D-don't! N-not here--
Th-- There's no room!

You did it!

It's a lot harder
than flying.

You fly?

And you don't know
how to drive?

Well--

Stop the car.
I can't stand another minute.

All right.

All right, I'll park.

W-where?

Here.

Why, there's barely room
for a bicycle.

We're fine, Mr. Harold.

Now, there's nothing
to be nervous about.

Who's nervous?

P for park.

How did you do that?

She's a witch.

Who said that?

Who said what?

I heard a voice
from the back seat.

Maybe it's another witch.

The back seat
is empty.

It is?

Look again.

I hear a voice,

but I don't see a body.

Mother, will you please stop
playing games?

Will you please
behave yourself?

Are you talking
to me?

No.

To me.

Mother, you're
embarrassing me

and confusing
Mr. Harold.

You're a ventriloquist,
right?

Not exactly.

Oh, Samantha,
you can fly.

Why on earth do you bother with
this ridiculous contraption?

Mr. Harold,
please don't go.

Just ignore her.

Ignore whom?

Well...

Say no more, Mrs. Stephens.

I knew it was coming.
I've finally cracked.

I'll turn myself in.

What should we do
with the car?

Burn it.

Sheila? Aunt Adelaide? Mom!

Mother,
you put that back!

Must I?

It's Mr. Harold's car.

He is high-strung,
isn't he?

You should be ashamed.

You got that poor dear man
talking to himself.

I know.

And I'm sure it's
a fascinating conversation.

Darrin, it was
all my fault.

Sweetheart, you were
doing your best.

But Mother was in
one of her prankish moods.

You mean your mother
was there too?

Well, she was
and she wasn't.

After I drove into
the moving van

and parked the car
and made the U-turn,

Mother got a case
of the cutes.

What's that mean exactly?

You know.

She kept
popping in and out.

Oh, boy, that poor guy.

That's what I mean.

I'd hate to think he'd lost
his job because of me.

So do you mind
coming with me?

Where?

To Reliable.
I'll drive.

No, thanks.

I'll drive.

Yeah, well, you tell him that
I've been paying the same rent

for nine years and that's
as high as I'm gonna go.

Greetings, folks.

Excuse the cramped quarters,
but it's only temporary.

We're Mr. and
Mrs. Stephens.

We brought back
your car.

Oh, thanks.

You're welcome.

Is Instructor Harold here?

Former instructor Harold

is in the back
cleaning out his desk.

Hey, excuse me.

Reliable Driving School.

Ah, yes, Miss Anderson.
Can I have that address?

[Basil] Why, certainly.

We've been serving
the community for years...

Hi.

Hi.

Have a wafer,
Mr. Harold.

This is my husband,
Mr. Stephens.

Hi.

Hi.

There's something
I have to tell you.

Peachy.

Don't ask me to
go into detail.

It's kind of
complicated,

but that voice
you heard in the car

was Mrs. Stephens' mother.

And she's a--

Sometimes I can't
see her myself.

And he's
her son-in-law.

Big deal.

Well, it is.

It proves that although
there's plenty wrong with her,

there's nothing wrong
with you.

So why not let
bygones be bygones

and continue
with my driving lessons?

Sorry.

I'm hanging up
my helmet.

I'm gonna seek
my livelihood

in a field that offers
a little more human dignity.

Like what?

Oh, I don't know.

Maybe begging for pennies
on skid row.

Why, Mr. Harold,
you can't quit

just because of
one minor disaster.

Minor?

And you can't keep going
from job to job,

or you'll tend to be
insecure forever.

You have to stick to your wheel
and see it through. Right?

Right!

Wrong.

Thanks, kids,
for your interest,

but, uh,
you don't understand.

I'm not quitting,

I was fired...

for a change.

Mrs. Stephenson,
as a special concession,

I am going to teach you
to drive myself.

No, thank you.

I'd rather be taught
by Mr. Harold.

Mr. Harold is no longer
in the firm.

He deserted while on duty

and abandoned his vehicle
at the mercy of a rank beginner.

She didn't move that car
one inch

after Mr. Harold left.

She called me at my office,
I came right over and--

That ain't the point!

Mr. Harold wasn't
only fired for that.

As a driving instructor
in general, he stinks!

That's not true.
He's excellent.

And if you don't
hire him back, I'll--

I'll take my husband's money
someplace else.

Okay, okay.

You found my Achilles heel.

You're back
in the organization...

on a trial probation.

On behalf of myself
and my sisters...

What I mean is there are times
when mere words aren't enough.

Thank you.

Don't worry if I'm not here

when you get home tonight,
sweetheart.

I have a lesson
this afternoon.

A lesson?

Yes, my basket-weaving.

Basket-weaving?

You didn't tell me
anything about that.

Oh, well, I found
the most wonderful class

where they teach you
how to weave things.

Baskets, carpets,
all sorts of things.

Good morning,
Mrs. Stephens.

Good morning.

Good morning,
Mr. Stephens.

Hi.

Just popped by for a moment.

My student's waiting
at the curb,

champing at the bit,
you might say.

What time's class
this afternoon?

Five-thirty.
Will you be there?

I wouldn't miss it
for the world.

Bye, all.

Well, well.

What was that all about?

I told Harold about
my basket-weaving class.

It's done wonders for him.

He's given up wafers, he
stands up to his brother-in-law,

and there's even talk of making
him a partner in the company.

What time did you say
that class was?

Five-thirty. Why?

I'll see you there.

Good.