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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:11,880 St Juniper once said, "By his loins shall ye know him, 2 00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:15,800 "and by the length of his rod shall he be measured." 3 00:01:16,040 --> 00:01:19,800 The length of my rod is a mystery to all but the Queen 4 00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:23,960 and a thousand Turkish whores! 5 00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:29,000 But the fruits of my loins are here for all to see. 6 00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:31,520 I have two sons - 7 00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:35,960 Harry and another one. 8 00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:40,520 Step forward, Harry, Prince of Wales. 9 00:01:48,280 --> 00:01:52,320 Harry, I hereby name thee Captain of the Guard, 10 00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:56,120 Grand Warden of the Northern and Eastern Marches, 11 00:01:56,360 --> 00:01:58,960 Chief Lunatic of the Duchy of Gloucester, 12 00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:02,080 Viceroy of Wales, Sheriff of Nottingham, 13 00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:03,800 Marquis of the Midlands, 14 00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:10,560 Lord Po-maker in Ordinary, and Harbinger of the Doomed Rat! 15 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:16,200 Step forward, the other one! 16 00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:28,629 Till now thy titles have been but few, 17 00:02:28,654 --> 00:02:31,320 Duke of Edinburgh and Warden of the Royal Privvies. 18 00:02:31,560 --> 00:02:32,560 It is so, My Lord. 19 00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:35,447 We thank thee, Egbert, for thy work in Edinburgh. 20 00:02:35,447 --> 00:02:39,160 Know now that we do relieve thee of thy heavy task 21 00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:44,040 and give the Dukedom to our loyal cousin Hastings. Many happy returns Tom. 22 00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:47,600 Thus have I discharged the duties of Juniper. 23 00:02:47,840 --> 00:02:52,640 Chiswick, fresh horses! We ride at once to rebellious Stoke, 24 00:02:52,880 --> 00:02:57,200 where it is my sworn intent to approach the city walls, 25 00:02:57,440 --> 00:02:59,760 bare my broad buttocks, 26 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:04,480 and shout, "Behold, I honour thee most highly!" 27 00:03:18,638 --> 00:03:20,367 Well, it could have been worse my lord. 28 00:03:20,392 --> 00:03:23,320 Yeah, for a moment there I thought you were going to lose the Privvies. 29 00:03:23,560 --> 00:03:25,160 No! 30 00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:28,120 It...will...not...do! 31 00:03:28,360 --> 00:03:30,400 Er, no, My Lord, you're right. 32 00:03:30,640 --> 00:03:33,720 I must clear away the chaff from my life, 33 00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:37,360 then let shine forth the true wheat of greatness! 34 00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:40,200 Do it at once, My Lord! - Very well. 35 00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:43,240 Percy, you are dismissed from my services. 36 00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:45,520 Me? Why? 37 00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:47,200 Because, Percy, 38 00:03:47,440 --> 00:03:50,880 far from being a fit consort for a prince of the realm, 39 00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:55,080 you would bore the leggings off a village idiot! 40 00:03:55,320 --> 00:04:00,400 You ride a horse rather less well than another horse would. 41 00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:05,920 Your brain would make a grain of sand look large and ungainly. 42 00:04:06,160 --> 00:04:09,720 And the part of you that can't be mentioned, 43 00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:13,120 I am reliably informed by women around the court, wouldn't be worth mentioning 44 00:04:13,360 --> 00:04:14,760 even if it could be! 45 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:18,280 If you put on a floppy hat and a furry codpiece, 46 00:04:18,520 --> 00:04:22,400 you might just get by as a fool, but, since you wouldn't know a joke 47 00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:25,000 if it got up and gave you a haircut. 48 00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:29,840 I doubt it! That is why you're dismissed. 49 00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:32,080 Oh, I see. - And as for you, Baldrick... 50 00:04:32,320 --> 00:04:35,160 - My Lord? - You're out, too. 51 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:38,680 Fair enough. 52 00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:45,000 Well, I expect you'll go back to shovelling dung in the gutter where I found you? 53 00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:47,506 Nah, shouldn't think so. - No? 54 00:04:47,506 --> 00:04:50,600 No, it took me years to get that job. 55 00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:53,640 I'll probably be back milking pigs or mucking out the leppers or something. 56 00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:54,600 Really? 57 00:04:54,840 --> 00:05:00,720 Yeah, it'll be years before I get back to shovelling dung again. 58 00:05:07,280 --> 00:05:11,800 Get out of my way! - Going on a journey, My Lord? 59 00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:14,560 No, I thought I'd stand here all day and talk to you. 60 00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:17,280 You'll be needing someone to tend your horse then? 61 00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:20,920 No and even if I did I wouldn't take you. I mean look at you. 62 00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:25,200 What is your profession? 63 00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:31,840 One, two, three! One, two, three! 64 00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:37,760 My God! A retired morris dancer! That's all I need! 65 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:43,000 Well if you can keep up you can come. Hah! 66 00:05:59,640 --> 00:06:03,200 Here he comes now. 67 00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:06,080 Oh, my God! 68 00:06:06,320 --> 00:06:08,640 So, Sir Wilfred Death, 69 00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:11,560 your tyranny is now at an end. 70 00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:16,360 Prepare to be strung by your codlings and bound on that tree. 71 00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:19,920 Never! 72 00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:37,600 Sir Wilfred Death. 73 00:06:37,840 --> 00:06:40,720 Edmund. 74 00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:50,000 I'm looking for some men to take over the kingdom. 75 00:06:50,240 --> 00:06:54,680 How many have you got so far? 76 00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:04,720 So, we are agreed, 77 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:08,880 he who wins takes the horse. 78 00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:15,520 There is our mark. You shoot first. 79 00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:22,400 Yeah. That's good. 80 00:07:22,640 --> 00:07:24,960 So good, in fact, 81 00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:29,120 I'm going to have to... 82 00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:33,560 ..cheat. 83 00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:38,840 Three-fingered Pete! 84 00:07:41,520 --> 00:07:44,200 Good evening... 85 00:07:44,480 --> 00:07:49,320 and surrender. Your money or your life. 86 00:07:49,480 --> 00:07:53,520 Here. Take it. It's all the money I have. 87 00:07:53,760 --> 00:07:55,560 Thank you. 88 00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:59,240 Now, let me pass. 89 00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:03,280 Damn! I'm always doing this. 90 00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:06,160 Did I say, "Your money or your life"? 91 00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:10,080 - You did. - Sorry. Slip of the tongue. 92 00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:13,960 Your money and your life. 93 00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:18,360 Sorry. 94 00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:23,760 Thanks, Ned. See you Thursday. 95 00:08:25,760 --> 00:08:28,680 - Guy! - Wilfred! 96 00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:33,680 Now, what we need is a real bastard! 97 00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:38,080 Sean, the Irish bastard! 98 00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:49,960 Pity the blind, sir. 99 00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:54,600 Pity the blind, kind sir. 100 00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:09,400 'Ere! Business is very quiet this morning! 101 00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:13,560 Aye, everyone's gone to lunch, I think. 102 00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:19,040 Sean! 103 00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:30,120 Friar, I fear greatly for her chastity. 104 00:09:30,360 --> 00:09:33,160 Alas, such is the way of the world. 105 00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:36,240 The sweetest rose too often is... 106 00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:38,800 plucked too soon. 107 00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:41,840 Yes. I wondered... 108 00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:46,560 if you would take her while I'm gone. 109 00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:49,040 Yes. The answer is yes. 110 00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:52,720 I shall. 111 00:09:57,760 --> 00:10:01,080 Friar Bellows! 112 00:10:01,320 --> 00:10:03,640 Doing the Lord's work? 113 00:10:03,880 --> 00:10:08,240 I'm administering extreme unction! 114 00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:12,760 So, who shall be our seventh, Wilfred? 115 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:17,920 Why, need I say? Jack! 116 00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:23,160 Not Mad Bully-boy Jack, grave-robbing assassin of Aldwych? 117 00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:26,760 - No. - Then Crazed Animal Jack, 118 00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:30,320 the cattle-rustling cannibal from Sutton Coldfield? 119 00:10:30,560 --> 00:10:32,080 No. 120 00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:34,800 Then yer man Saint Jack O'Hooligan, 121 00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:38,880 the man-hatin' goat-murderer of Dingle Bay? 122 00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:42,200 - No. - Surely not Canon Jack Smulley, 123 00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:44,769 senior arch-deacon of the Diosces of St Bothar, 124 00:10:44,770 --> 00:10:47,000 the entrail-eating heretic of Bath and Wells? 125 00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:49,040 No. 126 00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:53,160 I'm talking of Unspeakably Violent Jack, 127 00:10:53,400 --> 00:11:00,000 the bull-buggering beast-killer of no fixed abode. 128 00:11:04,120 --> 00:11:07,840 Are you sure he's the kind of chap we're looking for? 129 00:11:08,080 --> 00:11:09,720 Yes! 130 00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:13,680 And here he comes. 131 00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:22,040 What do you think you're doing? 132 00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:26,680 - Are you with us, Jack? - Aye! 133 00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:49,920 ..so I kissed her on her left foot! 134 00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:57,840 Tell me, Jack, what is your second name? 135 00:11:58,080 --> 00:11:59,360 Large. Jack Large! 136 00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:05,000 Then in our band, you shall be known as Large Jack! 137 00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:07,120 Why? 138 00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:10,760 Well...because you are so little. 139 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:12,920 Why not Little Jack, then? 140 00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:16,960 Well, because Large Jack is more amusing. 141 00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:22,840 - Is it? - Very well, then, Little Jack. 142 00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:25,360 Do you wish to mock my size? 143 00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:28,400 N-N-No! Of course not. Um, innkeeper! 144 00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:30,760 - Some more beer! - Hurray! 145 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,680 Six large beers... 146 00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:35,360 and, er...and another large beer! 147 00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:36,720 Hurray! 148 00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:41,320 - Let us then go onto the plan. - Ah, the plan! 149 00:12:41,560 --> 00:12:43,880 First, a motto for our enterprise. 150 00:12:44,120 --> 00:12:47,520 - Blessed are the meek... - Eh?! 151 00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:49,880 ..for they shall be slaughtered! 152 00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:52,680 - Hurray! - Wait, wait! The plan! 153 00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:55,800 You've forgotten the plan. - I thought that was the plan. 154 00:12:56,040 --> 00:12:59,800 Let's get those meek bastards now! 155 00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:01,880 Quiet! 156 00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:07,440 Who wants quiet? I want chaos! 157 00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:11,200 And slaughter! 158 00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:13,760 And flowers... 159 00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:18,880 - What? - ..mercilessly crushed underfoot! 160 00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:20,680 - Silence! - Silence! 161 00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:22,440 Silence! 162 00:13:22,680 --> 00:13:25,440 Peace! The word of the Lord! 163 00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:28,320 For Christ's sake, let's hear the plan! 164 00:13:28,560 --> 00:13:30,840 Very well. The plan is simple. 165 00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:34,040 - Not cunning? - Get on with the plan! 166 00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:38,080 Well, it's cunning in its simplicity. 167 00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:40,680 Tonight I ride for home. 168 00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:43,880 I say strike now while the iron is hot! 169 00:13:44,120 --> 00:13:45,720 But the iron isn't hot! 170 00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:47,760 - Isn't it? - No, it's just... 171 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:52,760 er, warming up. But when it is hot, then we will strike. 172 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,840 What? Are we going to have to wait till summer? 173 00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:59,760 - No, when the iron is hot. - What iron? 174 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:04,160 Never mind, we are all agreed. I shall send for you all. - How? 175 00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:08,200 - Well, by a message, a sign. - What sort of sign? 176 00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:12,400 Well, um... something black...probably. 177 00:14:12,640 --> 00:14:16,000 - Black pudding? - Not quite. 178 00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:20,160 A messenger with the black plague, perhaps? 179 00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:23,440 - That's better. - He means to kill us! 180 00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:27,840 No, I mean a messenger with black...hair. 181 00:14:28,080 --> 00:14:29,880 Ahh! 182 00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:32,440 - A black-headed messenger! - That's it. 183 00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:37,000 And when he comes to you, drop whatever you are doing, 184 00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:40,720 and speed with haste to Jasper's Tavern. 185 00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:43,800 - How is old Jasper? - Dead. 186 00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:47,360 - How? - I killed him. 187 00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:50,640 From there I shall take you to the castle 188 00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:55,080 where we will capture the King and the Queen and the Prince. 189 00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:56,200 Hurray! 190 00:14:56,440 --> 00:14:59,600 And then I will say to them "The Kingdom of Albion is ours!" 191 00:14:59,840 --> 00:15:00,880 Hurray! 192 00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:05,160 "You are doomed to lives of exile. Get out!" 193 00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:07,400 Exile? 194 00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:12,200 Yes, exile! For life! 195 00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:15,240 But why don't we just kill them? 196 00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:19,760 Well...I suppose we could kill them...Yes! 197 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:25,160 Wait! Wait till I send the sign. 198 00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:29,000 By a messenger with blackheads all over his face! 199 00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:33,240 How do we know it isn't a trap? 200 00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:38,080 Because...the Black Adder gives you his word. 201 00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:42,640 We want your word, not this Black Adder fellow's! 202 00:15:42,880 --> 00:15:45,200 But...I am the Black Adder. 203 00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:47,760 - Ohh. - Oh, I see. 204 00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:50,320 And when all is done, 205 00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:53,040 the Black Seal shall rule England. 206 00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:54,400 Hurray! 207 00:15:54,640 --> 00:15:57,440 We few! We happy few! 208 00:15:57,680 --> 00:16:00,440 We band of ruthless bastards! 209 00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:02,200 Hurray! 210 00:16:02,440 --> 00:16:07,800 - All for one... - ..and each man for himself! 211 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:14,320 You're in a merry mood, My Lord! 212 00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:16,880 Oh, yes. No-one can stop me now! 213 00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:20,080 - No-one? - No, no-one! 214 00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:22,640 Except perhaps... 215 00:16:22,880 --> 00:16:25,520 No, not even him. 216 00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:28,080 And who might that be, My Lord? 217 00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:31,480 Well...there was a man. 218 00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:34,320 Philip of Burgundy... 219 00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:37,160 known to his enemies as... 220 00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:39,560 the Hawk. 221 00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:42,120 We were deadly childhood rivals. 222 00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:47,160 Although, of course, in those days he was known as the Thrush! 223 00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:51,040 No-one's heard of him for years. 224 00:16:51,280 --> 00:16:55,080 Well, come on. Let's go. We've got work to do. 225 00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:58,200 Not so fast, Edinburgh! 226 00:16:58,440 --> 00:17:04,360 This Hawk, did he look something like...this? 227 00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:20,880 Mmm... Not really, no. 228 00:17:23,480 --> 00:17:26,160 Oh, my God! Philip of Burgundy! 229 00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:30,600 Known to my enemies as... 230 00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:33,480 ..the Hawk! 231 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:38,280 But...but your horse... used to be a huge, brown... 232 00:17:38,520 --> 00:17:42,560 Yes. Yes, that's the one. 233 00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:48,040 Well...it's been very good to see you, er...Phil! 234 00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:52,800 - This time, not fast enough! - What do you want with me? 235 00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:56,960 I'll tell you later! 236 00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:05,560 I return at last after 15 years. 237 00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:08,000 And what have you been up to? 238 00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:12,640 Waiting, plotting, nurturing my hatred and planning my revenge. 239 00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:15,480 So you've kept yourself busy? 240 00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:20,560 Yes. 15 years in France teaches a man to hate. 241 00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:22,600 15 years of wearing perfume! 242 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:25,160 15 years of eating frogs! 243 00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:28,200 15 years of saying "par-don"! 244 00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:33,320 - And all because of you! - But surely...the scenery... 245 00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:36,320 I never went outside. The smell! 246 00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:38,680 What has this got to do with me? 247 00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:43,640 Because, Edmund, it is going to take you 15 years 248 00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:46,720 to die! 249 00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:48,120 - 15 years? - Yes! 250 00:18:48,360 --> 00:18:49,280 How? 251 00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:52,720 It'd be more amusing if you found out for yourself. 252 00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:56,520 Let us just say that it has something to do with... 253 00:18:56,760 --> 00:19:00,160 ..snails. 254 00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:05,200 Argh! 255 00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:07,800 Oh my God, where are you going? 256 00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:09,800 Why to the castle to kill the royal family 257 00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:14,960 and claim the throne that isn't mine by right! 258 00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:24,080 Dear Lord, 259 00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:26,640 who made the birds and the bees, 260 00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:29,520 and the snails, presumably, 261 00:19:29,760 --> 00:19:32,080 please help me, 262 00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:35,120 a little animal, too, in my despair. 263 00:19:35,360 --> 00:19:37,680 I have been a sinner, 264 00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:42,240 but now I intend to follow the path of the saints, 265 00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:45,800 particularly the very religious ones. 266 00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:50,800 In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, amen. 267 00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:53,360 - Amen! - What? 268 00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:55,920 Amen, I said! - Argh! 269 00:19:56,160 --> 00:20:00,640 I'm sorry did I get it wrong? I haven't heard that word for 20 years. 270 00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:03,920 Who are you? I didn't realise I had company! 271 00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:08,440 "Company"? I haven't heard that word for 20 years either! 272 00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:10,240 Or "realise"! I'd completely forgotten. 273 00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:12,760 - Realise! - You're not mad, are you? 274 00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:15,800 Yes, I'm very mad, thank you. Mad! 275 00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:18,590 That's the words I know. I say them every day. 276 00:20:18,590 --> 00:20:22,040 I say, "Good morning Mad Gerald, how are you today?", 277 00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:24,120 I say, "I'm completely mad, thank you." 278 00:20:24,360 --> 00:20:26,240 "Not much change, then, Gerald?" 279 00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:28,640 "No, you'd be mad to expect any." 280 00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:30,560 Right... - But I am mad! 281 00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:34,240 - I'm Mad Gerald! - Quiet! Ssh! 282 00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:38,894 Look, this may seem a stupid question... 283 00:20:38,919 --> 00:20:39,280 Question, yes. 284 00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:43,000 ..but do you know if there's a way out of here, do you? 285 00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:45,440 A way out? 286 00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:11,520 A way out, you say? 287 00:21:11,760 --> 00:21:16,480 I haven't heard those words, a way out, for...ooh... 288 00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:19,040 - 20 years? - Yes! Yes, 20 years. 289 00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:21,600 Not like Mr Rat. 290 00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:25,320 - I'm always saying, "Mr Rat". - Who? 291 00:21:25,560 --> 00:21:27,680 Mr Rat! 292 00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:30,960 I tend to say, "Good morning, Mr Rat. 293 00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:34,200 "How are you today?" And he says, um... 294 00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:38,800 "Meep, meep, meep, meep!" 295 00:21:46,120 --> 00:21:51,240 No, you mustn't be rude about Mr Rat. He's my best friend. 296 00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:52,680 Eek! 297 00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:55,240 - Yes. - Eek-eek! 298 00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:57,280 Well... 299 00:21:57,520 --> 00:21:59,840 There's him and there's Mr Key. 300 00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:03,800 - What? - Mr Key! 301 00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:09,480 I made him...out of my own teeth. 302 00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:13,560 Good morning, Mr Key. 303 00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:19,680 Close the bloody door! 304 00:22:22,360 --> 00:22:25,800 Stop! Stop! Where are you going? 305 00:22:26,040 --> 00:22:27,560 I'll tell you where. 306 00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:31,880 Wherever I can sell these six black homing pigeons, I've got in the back, that's where. 307 00:22:32,120 --> 00:22:34,440 Black homing pigeons? 308 00:22:34,680 --> 00:22:35,880 Well, mostly. 309 00:22:36,120 --> 00:22:38,760 - How much are they? - Six shillings. 310 00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:41,240 Oh, damn! 311 00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:44,277 But, I suppose, if you beat me and gagged me and 312 00:22:44,277 --> 00:22:47,203 tied me to that tree over there, you could have 'em for less. 313 00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:51,280 Right. 314 00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:44,120 At the striking of ten bells, 315 00:23:44,360 --> 00:23:47,680 I shall claim the throne. 316 00:23:53,960 --> 00:23:55,760 Ssh! 317 00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:57,800 Ha-ha! 318 00:23:58,040 --> 00:24:01,200 Ha-ha! 319 00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:03,360 Ssh! 320 00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:12,280 Gentlemen, to what do I owe this pleasure? 321 00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:20,240 To me, Burgundy! 322 00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:23,920 Edmund! I had not expected to see you again. 323 00:24:24,160 --> 00:24:29,160 No. Dead men don't tend to make social calls, do they? 324 00:24:29,320 --> 00:24:31,840 - Prepare to die! - Wait! 325 00:24:32,080 --> 00:24:34,120 Let me say just one last thing. 326 00:24:34,360 --> 00:24:37,129 If these men are indeed as they seem to be, 327 00:24:37,154 --> 00:24:39,240 the six most evil men in the land... 328 00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:42,520 Yes, they are! Your last sentence, please? 329 00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:45,680 Then they've made a pretty damned peculiar choice for their leader, 330 00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:48,080 haven't they my lord Warden of the Privvies. 331 00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:52,800 What? You think they should've chosen you, Thrush? 332 00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:57,520 A man twisted by unbridled ambition. 333 00:24:57,760 --> 00:24:59,040 Huh? 334 00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:01,360 A man tortured by insatiable greed! 335 00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:02,560 Oh? 336 00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:05,240 - The most evil man in the world! - Oh! 337 00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:08,000 You think they should've chosen you? 338 00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:12,760 Yes! - But he's a mindless killer! 339 00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:15,800 - Hurray! - He'll destroy the kingdom! 340 00:25:16,040 --> 00:25:18,840 - Hurray! - He murdered his own family. 341 00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:22,080 - Who didn't? I certainly killed mine. - I killed mine! 342 00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:24,160 - And I killed yours. - Did you? 343 00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:26,200 - Yes. - Good on you, Father! 344 00:25:26,440 --> 00:25:29,040 - Are you with me, then? - Yes! 345 00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:30,840 Prepare to die! 346 00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:35,760 Wait! I have a more...amusing method. 347 00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:39,080 Amusing for whom, I wonder? 348 00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:41,400 Gentlemen! 349 00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:45,120 - Bravo! - Well done! 350 00:25:45,360 --> 00:25:47,920 In precisely one minute, 351 00:25:48,160 --> 00:25:53,480 the spike will go up your nethers. 352 00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:57,760 The shears will cut off your ears! 353 00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:01,800 - Both of them? - Yes. 354 00:26:02,480 --> 00:26:05,800 These axes will chop off your hands. 355 00:26:06,040 --> 00:26:09,960 I do not think we need go into the attributes 356 00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:13,760 of the codling grinder! 357 00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:20,320 These feathers here will tickle you under what's left of your arms. 358 00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:23,680 And that is the amusing part! 359 00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:31,600 Gentlemen, let us go and slaughter all the rest of the royal family. 360 00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:37,360 - God save the King! - 'Cos nobody else will! 361 00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:46,480 Stop. First let us relieve these wenches of their delightful burden 362 00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:49,040 and drink a toast to our enterprise. 363 00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:51,600 May good thrive! 364 00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:56,000 Over our dead bodies! 365 00:26:58,680 --> 00:27:03,080 Aaagh! 366 00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:16,400 Mmm, it's got a bit of a sting in its tail! 367 00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:29,080 Urrgh! 368 00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:30,560 Eeegh! 369 00:27:30,800 --> 00:27:34,760 Ha-ha-ha... 370 00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:42,240 - Oh, Edmund! - Edmund! 371 00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:44,800 Edmund! 372 00:27:45,040 --> 00:27:49,880 He lives! 373 00:27:50,120 --> 00:27:51,920 Father... 374 00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:55,720 You called me Edmund! 375 00:27:55,960 --> 00:27:58,760 Sorry. Edgar! How are you? 376 00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:01,440 Not so well. 377 00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:04,640 Harry... 378 00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:07,880 ..what do you think my chances are? 379 00:28:08,120 --> 00:28:11,880 - Oh, good. Good. - He will live? 380 00:28:12,120 --> 00:28:17,440 Hmm? Oh, no. I thought you meant your chances of going to heaven. 381 00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:20,680 Oh, damn... 382 00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:22,280 Never fear, my son. 383 00:28:22,520 --> 00:28:25,080 Your body may be mutilated beyond recognition, 384 00:28:25,320 --> 00:28:27,640 but your spirit will live forever! 385 00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:29,680 My Lords... 386 00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:35,840 - What did you say? - I give you Edgar! 387 00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:39,640 I told you to poison the Black Seal's goblets, 388 00:28:39,880 --> 00:28:41,800 not the whole vat! 389 00:28:42,040 --> 00:28:46,000 What is it? 390 00:28:48,280 --> 00:28:50,440 The Black Dagger! 391 00:28:50,680 --> 00:28:54,480 The Black Dagger! - Adder! 392 00:28:54,720 --> 00:29:00,040 May his name last as long as our dynasty! 393 00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:13,360 Good Lord! 394 00:29:13,520 --> 00:29:18,240 I wonder if it was the wine... 395 00:29:24,720 --> 00:29:30,080 No. Seems perfectly all right to me. 396 00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:32,880 And now, at last, 397 00:29:33,120 --> 00:29:37,040 I shall be King of E... 398 00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:51,960 # So now the wage of sin is paid 399 00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:59,520 # The blade has stuck The black steed grazes 400 00:29:59,760 --> 00:30:06,440 # The only sound across the glade 401 00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:13,960 # Is Edmund pushing up the daisies 402 00:30:14,200 --> 00:30:17,680 # Black Adder 403 00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:21,160 # Black Adder 404 00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:27,960 # A shame about the Plan 405 00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:31,800 # Black Adder 406 00:30:32,040 --> 00:30:35,880 # Black Adder 407 00:30:36,120 --> 00:30:41,520 # Farewell, you horrid man # 408 00:30:52,720 --> 00:30:56,440 Don't drink the wine! 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net 29513

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