All language subtitles for Scary Movie HDCAM (2026)

If it itches it's grass.

Oh my god avoiding my ass.

Oh, girl, not again...

Now I'm a transformer in front of all your eyes.

I face it.

Hey, girl. Want some brown liquor?

Brown liquor don't make this pussy pop.

Tequila it is.

Here you go.

Viva la River Luciana!

Now that shit right there making pussy pop on a
headstand.

So what are you doing here anyway?

What you think I'm doing here?

I'm starring in the opening scene.

Been there done that.

Pick up the phone!

Richie? Tiana. Hey.

I thought it would be easier for the audience if
they didn't have to read more texts.

Yeah, that makes sense.

Because you know these motherfuckers can't read.

I know who goes to see a Waze Brothers movie.

Well, it's nice to phone meet you in this super
awkward way.

Likewise. But I gotta be honest.

When I seen your profile picture, bitch, you
almost swiped left because you look mad goofy.

But surprisingly, you know, them goofy niggas got
big dick.

So here we are.

I take you for a Jersey girl.

A Jersey girl?

Listen, I love Jersey down.

But I'm a Harlem girl.

Born and motherfucking raised.

Real niggas only.

Yeah. Oh, so you're black.

No motherfucker, I'm black.

All cats. No cat.

The cats. Fuck all y'all.

Bitch, spit them pearls back out.

I want your shit.

Hello? So tell me, what's your favorite scary
movie?

Mmm, I don't really do them.

You know, all the super tropes and shit.

Why is it always the white bitch at the end?

Because they know it's too hard to kill a sister.

You know what I'm saying?

Because if the sister can survive government
cheese, we can survive anything.

You know, it might help if you met me outside.

Met you outside?

Boy, you just needy.

What's your sign?

You must be a Scorpio.

How'd you know?

Good dick though, but toxic as hell.

Hey, is the restaurant near an alley?

Yeah, it's hurry before they rob your ass.

Who rules it?

That. Not today, cheap bitch.

Heard you hoe.

Okay, I'm coming down the alley now.

I'm here, can you see me?

I'm waving.

No. The person I'm looking at is not waving.

In fact, they're just staring at me.

Well, stare at his ass back.

And don't blink.

Never blink. You got to scratch through lips and
be like, what?

No, they're walking towards me now.

Oh my, oh no, they have a knife.

Why don't I lead his ass over here?

And that's not the worst part.

The worst part is you know so much about horror
movies, and yet you still

walk into the alley alone.

Yeah, well the worst part is you're fucking with a
New York bitch.

Cuckoo! Yeah! Cuckoo!

Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Oh,

man. Hey, he wants some

Avenger shit.

Seriously, Lang? I didn't recognize your bird
call.

I thought you was going more with a...

Oh! That's a pigeon, nigga.

It's supposed to be cuckoo, cuckoo, or hawks
who've been in an attack.

My bad. Are you done?

What the hell?

Bitch, I'm Tiana Taylor.

My abs got abs.

Get him, dude!

Help! Come on, guys.

We can work this out.

Somebody help me!

You and Larry!

No, no, no, no!

We out! Get your hard-headed ass on!

Welcome to New York, sucker!

Hey, Tiana. You might've kicked my ass, but you
still didn't win that Oscar.

What you say about my Oscar?

Did I stutter?

You lost. You right.

But I won that Golden Globe, bitch.

Oh my God, really?

So that's why I never watched horror movie.

It's fucking terrible.

Just a bunch of celebrity cameos and fart gags.

So you don't like parodies?

I'm more into Judd Apatow films.

You know, elevated comedy.

And what is elevated comedy?

The kind that doesn't actually make anyone laugh,
but makes white people feel smart.

Tuesday, don't answer that.

That'd be Ghostface.

Oh, come on, Elle.

Stuff like that only happens in the movies.

Oh, hey. I wasn't expecting you to answer the
door.

What the fuck?

Now here's my knife.

Oh, there it is.

Hello, Tuesday.

I really wanna

get messy.

Don't you wanna do a neck sprain?

You really don't wanna test me.

I'm just gonna get sexy.

I'm gonna get messy.

Baby, get messy.

You missed.

What'd you take?

Just a Ritalin for my ADHD.

Adderall for PTSD.

A couple of Xanax for my anxiety.

And your boner pills.

So good luck getting it up now.

Jesus, Sarah, how many did you take?

I don't know.

How many come in a bottle?

Hey, Jess. Sarah, Tuesday's in the hospital.

She was stabbed by a killer.

You know, Ghostface.

Wait, from Wu-Tang?

Why would Ghostface kill her, aka Pretty Tony aka
Starkey Love, wanna stab my sister?

God, Sarah, it wasn't Ghostface kill her.

It was somebody in a Ghostface mask.

Ah, okay, that makes more sense.

I ain't the one!

Jesus, Jack! What?

I was thinking about wearing this for Halloween.

My estranged, flat-chested half-sister was nearly
killed by a psycho in a Ghost mask.

I gotta go see her.

Can't make up for the past.

Well, hey, hey, hey.

I'm going with you.

Not because I'm the obvious killer trying to lure
you back to your hometown.

I'm just a supportive boyfriend.

Yeah. That's all.

Okay, let's go.

Get in the car.

Listen, we just have to make one stop on the way.

I survived.

All thanks to my lucky penny.

Hey, we all leave.

Come give me a hug.

Come on, turn off this ratchet-ass music.

It's embarrassing, especially for black women.

It's not embarrassing.

I'm the cool mom everybody wished they had.

I'm lit. Don't forget I got practice later, so
I'll be home in a minute.

You only made the team because you're black, and
those racist fucks assumed you could play.

It's 2026. I don't think race is an issue.

Do you read black Twitter?

No. Oh, Brad, are you still dating that hoe?

Okay. Stop hoe-shaming her, Heffer.

Just because Daryl and them ran a train on her
doesn't make her a hoe.

She's not a hoe.

She's sex-positive.

Well, I'm positive she's a hoe.

Hey, girl, look at you.

Early for Halloween, huh?

What you this year?

Slutty schoolgirl. How we have?

Hi, Miss Meeks.

Love the hair.

Very Octavia Spencer.

Well, thank you very much.

I got to invite you over and make you a little
shit pie.

Ooh, you know what?

I got to get to African American history class.

We're learning about slavery.

I'm trying to find out.

It was a choice.

You see that right there?

That's Kanye. That's right.

They've been teaching us wrong all this time.

Stay black.

Bye, Ma. Bye, baby.

Bye, Miss Meeks.

Son, I put some condoms in your bag.

You know how they trap you.

Ma! Okay, seriously, Sheriff Greg, you don't have
to walk

me to class.

I'm fine. Jess, there's a serial killer on the
loose.

I'm not going to let anything happen to my baby
girl.

Boy, okay? I'm a baby boy.

I'm sorry. I'm just having a hard time with this
transition.

Okay, it's really simple.

Treat me like one of the guys, okay?

All right. I can do that.

Yeah. Slap fight.

Oh, you call that a slap?

Who the hell did you do that for?

Don't act like such a bitch.

Pfft. Bitch.

Yeah, not bad.

Who the hell lives like this?

Oh, honey, it is so good to see you.

Come in. Do you want some tea?

Oh, my God, Mother.

You look like shit.

Babe, please, this is clearly a woman who's run
out of conditioner.

Oh, be careful where you walk.

The whole place is booby-trapped.

You never know when that psycho's gonna come back.

Come in.

Okay. I

hate this job.

Mrs. Campbell,

I'm Jack, Sarah's boyfriend.

I've heard so much about you.

Uh, none of it good.

I have heard nothing about you, Jack.

I assume you're a piece of shit.

But how would I know when I haven't heard from my
daughter in, what, six months?

Six years, Mother.

And whose fault is that?

I don't know.

Maybe it's yours.

That's fair. We want to learn from the horror you
survived.

Look, scary movie three and four paid me a lot of
money for a girl.

There is nothing to learn there.

But if you want to talk about the house, Bunny,
shoot.

It's happening again.

Some asshole in a mask.

We have to stop him.

You're not ready, lovebug.

I have been preparing for this for years.

Sacrificed everything. You are a terrible mother.

Come on, honey.

We had some good times.

Like that Christmas I took you to meet Santa at
the mall.

Your turn, Sarah.

Move. Hi, Santa.

Sorry if I don't sit in your lap.

You creep me out.

Mom! Santa gave me a severed arm!

Be sure to thank him.

Santa! Santa, what?

Oh, that does.

What the fuck?

I am sorry if that's how you found out Santa
doesn't exist.

Mother, I need your help.

To heal our emotional wounds and put the past
behind us?

God, no. No, to kill Ghostface.

Do you have any guns?

I am Cindy fucking Campbell.

I've got millions of guns.

But none of them are registered due to my mental
health issues.

So if you could just keep that on the low.

Okay. Oh, yeah, I'm gonna be fine.

I didn't hurt myself on any of these spikes.

Oh, hey. So I spoke to Sarah earlier.

Oh, is she coming?

You know I did hear a buzzing sound.

So it's possible.

No, I meant to Woodsville.

Dumbass. Oh, yeah, I forgot to ask.

Hey, Jimbo! Go deep!

Oh! Sweet!

Speaking of going deep.

Uh, I don't know if it's a good time.

Everyone knows what happens to teenagers who try
to make love when there's a killer in the loose.

Brad's right about one thing, guys.

Okay, Ghostface is back.

We need to arm up.

Pepper spray, check.

Taser, check. Butt plug, double check.

God damn! You just carry that thing around?

It's easy to hide.

In your butt?

I'm impressed.

What's up, y'all?

I'm back!

I'm back! Hey, what's up, hun?

I'm tired of you little Gen Z alpha niggas using
terms like unk and auntie, gaslighting

and glazing and glamping, trying to make my
generation sound old.

I ain't your damn unk, nigga!

Shorty, you're a mother's brother.

So, yeah, technically you are our uncle.

Oh, my bad.

Crazy that they let you teach here.

Teach? Nah, nigga.

I attend. You're looking at a proud 25th year
senior.

When are you finally gonna graduate?

By the time we do a sequel and I gotta follow you
little young niggas to college to get my

check. Wait, guys, Tuesday's awake.

Alright, Tuesday! Who the fuck is Tuesday?

Hey, we gotta go to the hospital.

You gonna take the bus home?

Nah, the PJ.

Private Jett? Yeah, jealous.

Man, you smoke weed all day.

You just play video games, you do the livestream,
you literally got money doing nothing.

Exactly. I leave the hard work for the old heads.

Shit, son!

Still the same shorty.

Alright. Check my crypto, nigga.

Oh, shit, I'm up three million dollars!

Damn, now I'm down five million.

This shit crazy, son.

Ray! Sister Brenda, It's okay.

You heard the call of sin.

Yes, you did.

But the Lord has called on us to show men such
like you the way.

Come on, son, to come with us.

Come on us.

God see you coming, so don't cheat that cologne.

We need you to come like you never came before.

Come for the Father, come for the Son.

I'm gonna hold your hand, and we gonna come
together.

God is good.

Yes, sir.

Hey, man.

Let it go.

In the name of God, let it go, Ray.

Let it go!

Nigga! Oh, my bad.

Last time.

Let's welcome a new member to our congregation.

Let the people know how you feel.

I'm not gay no more.

Oh, Ray!

Yes, sir. I'm not gay no more.

I'm not gay no more!

I'm not gay no more.

I've been delivered!

I'll no longer date a man, even if he's sexy as
hell with his big old chesises and perky areolas.

Oh, yeah, you still got a secret.

I'll no longer carry a purse, put on makeup, walk
around in high heels.

Red bottles. The one with the cute little buckle
on the side.

These was my shoes.

I'll no longer go on Granger and swipe right at
black men, white men,

Asian men. Even on Granger?

I'll no longer take trips to the Philippines,
looking for ladyboys to Phuket, coasting

Moody, back to Phuket, get to Vietnam to see if I
can get them any cheaper.

I thought that was for our anniversary, Ray.

Oh, this nigga got a lot in my house.

I'll no longer stand butt naked in the mirror with
my penis tucked between my legs, dancing like

a dude from Silence of the Lambs.

They put solution in the basket, precious.

I'm a changed man.

I've been delivered!

I will! I said I will!

I will! No!

I'm a woman!

Woman! Woman! Woman!

Take that W below.

Woman! Woman! Woman!

Woman! Inses! Inses!

Men! Woman! Woman!

No, no. No, no, Ray.

No, no.

Whoa, nigga.

Are you hockey?

No, I'm not.

Hockey delivered!

I'm a changed man!

I'm a changed man!

I've been delivered!

Oh, my God.

Her face, so contorted.

Oh, my God, in the moaning.

Ugh. I'm gonna try and get that out for an hour.

How are you feeling, toots?

Hey, what are they giving you for the pain?

Is that morphine or...?

Oh, bitch! Let's see.

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, this that good, good...

This that Britney Spears shit makes me want to get
half naked, dance around and juggle some knives.

Sarah, who's that Jeffrey Donner lookalike?

Oh, this is my boyfriend, Jack.

Really nice to meet you.

Looks like Ted Bundy to me.

But that ain't none of my business.

This old stabbed-up bitch here needs some rest.

So, y'all, get the fuck out!

Yes, ma'am.

Oh, not you, Sarah.

Why? What did I do?

I'm so scared.

Oh, toots. You should be.

You've been stabbed nine times.

And the killer knows where you live.

I would invite you to come stay at my place, but I
don't really want that kind of juju in

my house. For all we know, he's standing right
outside that door.

It's comforting, Sarah.

I thought I was gonna die.

I know, me too!

I planned your funeral.

What the hell?

And I wrote your obituary.

More like Chat GBT wrote it.

But you're still here, and I will never let anyone
hurt you.

Oh, yum! Ouch!

Get off me!

Help! This white girl can't die on my shift!

I'm a DDI hire!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Two spied a second ago!

No, I'm good.

I'm good. Queer!

Again! Come on, white bitch, I need this job!

It's not working!

Oh, we're losing her!

Hide her! No!

Oh, boy. Look like there ain't nothing left but
thorns, prayers, and pork rinds.

Dear Lord. Nurse Ratchet, check out the wire!

The wire was the shit, baby.

That's my show, drugs, and that Idris Alba make
this Gucci wanna pop, pop, pop!

Dear Lord, please accept this white bitchin'.

Oh! The Lord works in mysterious ways.

I'm going on break.

Oh, Jews. I will never let anyone hurt you.

Oh! My bad!

Hello? Hello, Sarah.

Who is this?

Someone who knows your little secret.

No, no, no.

I swear that wasn't a Nazi salute, okay?

I won prom queen, and I was throwing my heart to
the crowd!

No! I'm talking about your family secret.

Oh, you're the fucking fuck who hurt my sister!

Well, I had to get you to come back here.

Listen, if you wanna fuck with me, asshole, then
come and get me!

With pleasure.

Aaaaaah! Aaaaaah!

Help! Somebody help!

Please! Somebody help!

Bitch! This the break room!

We on break!

Oh, my God.

Take that!

Please, save me!

I've been saving people all day!

So you handle yours, I'll be right or here eating
my falafel and my pork

rinds. I look like your mama.

Right now breaks over.

You're welcome.

It really looks like you got hit with something
hard, like metal.

I told you, I fell.

Now where exactly are we going?

To talk to an expert.

Go away! I'm so sorry to bother you, we just we
just wanna ask you a few questions.

Give me one good reason why I should talk to you.

I'm white? How white?

Oh, I'm talking Candace Owens white.

Fix it! When you said expert, I assumed you meant
more like Neil deGrasse Tyson or Pops.

I'm Sarah Campbell.

I was a tennis player.

I think you should leave.

I don't wanna get stabbed.

I don't want COVID, okay?

Please, come on, just two minutes, that's all I'm
asking.

No, no. I'll give you eight minutes.

And another thing,

I got tested for COVID.

Oh my god!

Oh! Now you guys are good.

When did the work week become the woke week?

We've got Black Friday, what's next?

Mulatto Monday? I mean Yellow Thursday?

Okay. Come on.

Let me get this out of your way.

Sorry. COVID test are done.

Yep, you're good.

You're Cindy's daughter, right?

Yeah. I don't know him.

Oh, this is Jack, my love interest.

No, no, no, no.

Rule number one of surviving a horror movie is
never trust your love interest.

Look at him.

He's got that weird lazy eye poking one way and
then he's drooling like a psychopath.

He's got that stump leg that makes the wall walk
weird and creepy.

I don't have a stump.

Well, that guy does.

Oh. I'm looking at me.

So she'll have to do be retired.

Listen, Doofy, we could really use your help.

No. I can't go back to that life.

Plus, we're in the middle of a global pan...

Okay, I hate to break it to you, but COVID has
been over for like years.

Really? Yeah.

Damn it!

What am I gonna do with all this canned meat?

Get out! I don't want those sheets to find me.

And don't come back!

Doofy! Doofy! Doofy!

Catch you later, Doofy.

Before you get dirty.

Okay, just because he showered doesn't mean
that...

You know, I didn't shower.

I just take water from my mouth.

You want some?

No, that's okay.

Come on, Doofy.

Sarah, is your ghetto ass mom coming?

Or can we start talking about this plot?

Uh... Hi.

You came. Not in like 15 years, honey.

But I did buy this new rose, so fingers crossed.

Oh! Oh! Oh, my old friend!

You taught me how to dance?

How to make a high and word pie?

Nigga, I'm writing back to you.

Jordy! What's up, Sandy?

How you doing?

My nigga.

Oh, shit, son!

I can't believe you thought I was dead!

Well, between cancer, from the weed, smoke, your
love of the McRib, and racist cops, I didn't think

you had a chance.

Yeah, that's a terrible combination.

Hi, Sand. Stop smiling at me!

Shit! Wildstar! Wildstar!

Wildstar! Hey! He's intellectually disabled.

That's just how he looks, you drunk honky.

Hey, hey, hey!

Don't call that white bitch a honky.

Come on, have some respect.

I keep seeing people smiling everywhere.

I'm not very likable, so it must be some kind of
curse.

Hey, everybody! Look what I got!

Non-branded gelatin shots made with grain alcohol
and GHB, so ain't nobody sipping nothing they
ain't consent

to like last time, which I apologize.

Take one. I love Rufy and myself.

No, ma. No, ma.

Hi, Brenda. Please do not call me by my government
name.

Call me, ma.

Sandy! You dropped the tray.

Oh, my God!

Cindy! I haven't seen you in forever!

I got it!

Look at you!

You look the same!

Minus the crow's feet.

And your hair is so dry!

Oh, and your titties dropped so far.

Other than that, you look the exact same!

What have you been up to?

Oh, you know, neglecting my children so I can
prepare to kill Ghost Fish should he ever return.

What about you?

Well, I've been mostly just getting high school
kids drunk in a desperate attempt to stay young
and keep my

kids at home.

I always knew you'd be a great mom.

Oh, Cindy! Should we hug?

Oh, I really want to, but I'm a Republican now, so
I'm supposed to be racist.

Oh, girl! I think all white people are racist
anyway.

Come here! Okay!

Oh! Do you want a shot?

Oh, yes, yes!

Please! You know, ma, this place could be so cool
if you had, like, a beer pong table over there,

maybe like a snack wall.

What you know about cool?

When I was your age, I was popping bottles with
Puffy, Puff Daddy, Pee Diddy, Diddy, all the
Shawns!

That didn't age well.

Your mama was the freak in the freak-offs.

You want to see something cool?

I'm going to show you something cool.

God, that's cool.

What are you doing?

What? No, not like that.

Yeah! I don't know why y'all acted so scurried.

The gun ain't even loaded.

Oh, shit!

Shit! Uh-oh.

I did it again.

I always forget that last one in the chamber.

Help me move this body.

Yeah, you got it.

That was fun.

Oh, so what are you doing after this?

I want to go to Cabo.

I love Cabo.

You know what?

I used to put cocaine up my hoo-ha and travel
there all the time.

Yeah. Oh.

All right. Let's get back to the plot.

I'm looking at you, Ted Bundy eyes, looking like a
school shooter.

I think you the killer.

Oh, me? Okay.

What about Deputy Doofy over there?

I don't have a motive.

You know, what's my motive?

You were the killer in the first movie.

Shouldn't you be locked up?

No, I got pardoned mostly because of the storming
the Capitol, you know.

I got proof.

This is me.

Oh. And it's framed.

That's a cool hit.

What about Jess?

What about me?

If anybody here has issues that could lead to
murder, you've seen the end.

Trans shaming is not cool, okay?

He's just a dude.

Yeah. Minus the upper body strength and the dick
part.

Hey, you don't know what I got down here, okay?

I do. Hey.

Listen, what we know so far is everyone who's been
attacked is related to the original characters.

He wants to kill the kids.

Aha! He's making a reboot of Quote.

A what now?

Yep. It's like a reboot and a sequel.

Mixes legacy characters with new characters in an
attempt to feed into bullshit nostalgia and bring

more fans to the theaters.

Just like last years, I know what you did last
summer.

That's a movie?

What did I do last summer?

I think you're talking about the summer I turned
pretty.

Yeah. Ray, when did you get here?

I've been here.

I was just hanging out by the men's room.

Oh. My room?

Okay. So that means that our killer is writing his
own version of horror movie.

Okay. So according to the Rebooty Call rules,
who's killer?

I think it's pretty obvious.

Who? You, bitch.

Me? Guys, I am not the killer.

Ghostface attacked Twoz to lure me back here.

I think he attacked Twoz to get you back here so
he could get me back here.

He wants to kill the OGs.

That was a flex.

Yeah, that sounds better.

Fuck this and fuck you, mother!

To your mother?

Hey! Don't be so disrespectful!

And call me mom!

Or mommy. Or whatever's more comfortable.

... ...

... ... ...

... ...

Talk to me.

Hello, Sheriff. Agent Underwood?

I'll give you one hint.

What's your favorite scary movie?

Well, I'm gonna go with Saltburn.

I mean, the member on that English guy was
terrifying.

And Ken Jiung's junk in The Hangover was a much
better depiction of the male anatomy.

Now what do you want, fuckface?

Well, I'm just calling to tell you that by the
time you get home, I'll have gutted your baby
girl.

Hey, asshole. She's a boy!

Yes! Looking

for this?

Let me help you.

I got your baby dick.

Winky, winky, winky, winky.

... Alright,

here we go.

What do you want, fuckface?

Well, like father, like son.

I understand you're home alone.

Well, dad's out, but the pool guy, the gardener,
and the plumber are all here, asshole.

Look out your window.

... No! But they're the backbone of the American
workforce.

And I'm too white to do those jobs.

Let's cut to the chase.

I'll ask you one question.

If you answer correctly, you live.

Who was the killer in Horror Movie?

Oh, that was easy.

It was Bobby and then K.

Ray, the guy who was totally into dudes even
though he claimed he wasn't.

Classic 2000s homophobia.

But I got you, bitch.

Wrong. You forgot special officer Doofy.

Now you die.

... ... Oh, fuck that!

... You should probably answer that.

I can literally see you trying to steal my
package.

... Oh, shit.

That was easy.

... Someone order steaks.

Let's go, Puff.

Wait a sec.

Careful. You must not let any killer.

You are about to identify as dead.

... You stand like a girl.

... ...

... Come on, girl.

... ...

This is Kiki West for OnlyFans Rapid News.

Rapid News? You mean Vapid News?

You don't even have a camera man.

My apartment!

Excuse me.

Oh, my. You're...

Yes, yes. Three time Emmy nominee for Outstanding
Achievement in Sensational Reporting.

I was gonna say the lady from Friends, but shorter
and with less Botox.

Oh, is that what you were gonna say?

Yeah. You seriously don't know who I am?

Baby girl, I am Gale...

Gale Swallows. Hey.

Hail Storm. Gale Hail...

Get the hell out of my way!

Doofus? Hey, Gale.

You have an extra day.

You've aged like a million days.

That's this many, Gale.

Yeah, your fingers smell like genitals.

What are you doing in that ridiculous uniform?

I'm back on the case.

Yeah, I'm gonna bust a ghost face.

Well, tell me, Special Needs Officer Doofy.

Wow. Are there any suspects in this tragic yet
completely predictable incident?

You're not allowed to say.

No, no. Yes, you can.

You're not... Oh, good.

Tell me. Oh, my God.

What's up? Hey, remember when you used to give
blowjobs for sensitive information?

I don't give blowjobs anymore, okay?

Not since me, too.

Okay. Sorry. I give handjobs now, but the story
better be good.

Okay, I'll do a handjob.

Let's do it.

Let's do it.

What the... I'm gonna get you.

I'm gonna get you.

I'm gonna get you.

Ray? You got my outfit, you little critter.

Maybe weed shouldn't be legal.

Fuck yeah, it should.

Hello, Shorty. You do know that smoking is bad for
you?

Actually, weed ain't bad for you.

You got vitamin T, C, and H, C, B, and D.

What's the matter, Shorty?

You look a little antsy.

Maybe because there's a masked serial killer
sipping tea in my den.

Shorty, you're my nigga.

I'm not a fucking nigger.

I mean, Fred, please.

Sit. Do you

want to quit smoking?

Well, to be honest, I tried to quit, but my mother
said, I ain't raising no quitters.

So I quit quitting.

We could try hypnosis.

Bro, I don't care how many pocket watches you try
and wave in front of my face.

It ain't gonna work, son.

You can't magnetize me.

Sleep. Shorty.

What's happening? Tell me about your mother.

Damn, nigga. Let's start with something like,
like, do you lick ass?

Yes or no?

The answer's yes.

So what happened to her, Shorty?

She was coming home.

Her car was parked on the side of the road.

Someone was in it.

And something bad was happening.

Why did you call anyone?

I couldn't. I had warrants.

You were 11.

I started young, nigga.

What do you see?

I see a big explosion of water.

It was like a civil rights hose.

Police said it was a murder-suicide.

She killed that man.

When they opened the car door, his limp body just
slid out.

Like the green nigga in shape of water.

I just didn't want it to be real.

Why don't you want to be real?

That my mother was a squirter.

Okay, dear squirter, all the floors in our bedroom
was warped.

I can't move.

You're paralyzed. Now,

sink into the chair.

Wait, no, wait.

Sink! Aaaaaah!

Niggaaaaaah! I'm

in a K-hole son!

No, you're in a K-pop hole.

What's up? What's up?

I spanked the ball, now I'm so stoned.

Your mouth in the wind.

Got me speaking Korean.

Oh shit, sir!

Got so high.

I was out of my mind.

I can't feel my own face.

I'm no problem child.

Fucking black in my mind.

Now I'm about to get laid.

Y'all about to get sprayed.

Now I'm flying.

Time for dinning.

Cause I got the munchies.

Skywalker, they don't need a reason to bang these
demons.

Now we just gotta get high.

We don't wanna up, up.

Nigga, we smoking.

We about to be smoking.

Gonna be, gonna be smoking.

Oh, oh, oh.

Up, up, up.

Nigga, we smoking.

Nigga, we gotta be smoking.

Gonna be, gonna be smoking.

That's a good hit.

That dream was wow.

I must be in Elon Musk.

Oh, Chunchashiba.

Tuesday? Bobby?

Bobby, what the?

She's gonna die.

Our daughter, Sarah?

You're probably right.

She's tough, but let's see her get stabbed in the
cut.

I'm gonna die.

Bobby, you're already dead.

This hallucination is a manifestation of my own
guilt for being an awful mom.

Or it could be the shrooms I just popped.

You're gonna die.

Bitch, you ain't killing me.

You're gonna die.

Stop smiling. I can't.

Botox. Hey! This is the mental ward.

Everyone smiles in here.

What? Oh, um, could you point me in the direction
of the ICU?

Is it that way or that way?

Visiting hours are over.

Oh, yes, of course.

The network wants me to clarify that Black Friday
has nothing to do with race.

Well, just tell that to my Black friend Benita,
who's probably clocking someone over the head at
Target as we

speak. Right, Benita?

Chamaoom! Man, you ain't Micah's.

Micah got that jerry curl.

What is that, son?

Is that shellac?

See, people think it's shellac, but it's actually
shopping.

Boy, your hair look like fondue.

It's dirty. Micah's got a monkey.

I got a llama.

Fuck, Micah. You can't dance, boy.

I've been practicing.

Crowd! Yeah!

Oh! I can moonwalk.

Where is this nigga from?

Get two!

Jermaine. Coming Juneteenth.

Only on Tubi.

I'm a bootleg bat shit.

Hello? Fuck this.

I'm gonna miss you all.

Oh, hell no!

They blacked! Don't die!

They blacked! Don't die!

Oh, god! Damn it!

Jack, you're not gonna make it.

Did Sarah tell you to come?

Yeah! That's why I'm here.

Not to murder you or anything like that.

Then why are you wearing gloves?

Would you believe I am thinking about dressing up
as O.J.

Simpson for Halloween.

But those fit.

Look out! Not cool, bro.

You almost hit a face.

I mean, help!

Oh! Ooh!

I'm gonna get you like a pig!

I'm gonna... I'm gonna...

That was a stupid line.

That is so true!

You're gonna do Tommy and the Bacon?

I'm gonna get

better writers. I'm laughing so hard that your
ribs hurt!

Wait until I stick my knife in them!

I'm crying over here!

I got you!

You're gonna kill me!

I'm gonna die laughing first!

Oh, shit! You're really gonna kill me!

Oh, what were they're on?

I'm gonna turn you into bacon, little bitches!

No! Excuse

me! Out of our way!

Step aside! Fish and fish business!

They like doing this.

Ooh! Smile, you son of a bitch!

What the... My psycho mother said, always keep a
stretch!

Go! Go! I'm gonna go get your love interest.

Ow! Ow! The pain!

The agony! Sarah, if I don't make it...

Seriously, Tewes, stop trying to win an Oscar!

It's a horror movie!

It'll never happen!

Just ask Tommy Moore.

No! No! Get!

Get! Get Jack!

You're gonna kill me!

What the fuck?

I can't help myself.

It's just me and you now, ghostie.

You gotta shoot him in the head.

Shoot him in the head.

Little... Dumb smell!

My... Finger!

Oh, God! What the fuck was that?

My ass! Fuck your ass!

Pause! That's my ass!

Any last words?

I go pooping!

Oh, hell no!

I ain't cleaning up that shit!

I'm on break!

Come on. I'm gonna kill it, not the queen.

What'd you say?

Yo, what's up, Jack?

It's your boy Shorty.

That's right, it's another Halloweenathon.

And it's another day of me getting paid mad money
for doing absolutely nothing.

Why, you stupid motherfuckers, why?

They call me dumb!

I wanna give a smooth shout out to my sponsor.

Angry Orchard Hard Cider.

They got mad apples, son.

We cleared his savings!

We're marketing genius!

It won't be a Halloweenathon without a dope guest.

He's a legend in the streaming game.

Give it up for Kai Simeez!

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Let's get serious.

What brings you to the chat?

You promised I was gonna be in the movie.

I've been calling you!

You ghosted me!

Bro, I thought that was one of my crazy ass baby
mamas.

That's my band.

Speaking of ghosted...

Somebody was talking to you.

Hello? What's your favorite scary movie?

Aaaaaaaaaaaah! No! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh!

We're breaking the internet, son!

What's up, my guy?

You got some Angry Orchard Hard Cider now.

You damn right.

They got mad apples.

What's up? What's up?

What's up?

What's up? What's up?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Spinnin' Noodle Game!

We gonna go back there with these noodles and we
gonna smack the fuck out you!

Now you gotta guess who did it!

It doesn't even make sense!

This is a dumb game.

Aaaaaaaaaah! Hey!

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Hey! Ah!

Wait! No! No!

Ah! Oh! Hey!

Hey! Hey! Hey!

You just killed Casanet on the chair!

We make history, son!

Ah! Money, money, money!

Oh, thank God.

It's about time you guys got here.

Now you're gonna get it.

So that's our suspect.

Goes by the name Short Hand.

Was the handyman at a house reputed to be haunted
in 2001.

Is there anything you're not telling me?

That your wife hates you.

You believe the Earth is flat and you voted for
Trump three times.

Now what, am I supposed to vote for the woman?

Huh? I believe Short Hand is the notorious ghost
face.

What'd that mouth do?

He did look pretty sketchy.

I got the wrong guy.

And you know that because you're psychic?

No. It says so on the arrest warrant.

I don't know.

That guy's black.

He's kinda...not that black.

Like gravy brown.

Hit him with your strong hand!

Rest him anyways.

Probably did something, right?

Turn off your body cam!

Miss Hailstorm, welcome back.

Doc, I'm begging you.

You gotta help me look younger.

These little bitches are killing me out there.

They're wearing nothing but a sausage casing and a
ring light.

Trust me with this weather decrepit age ravaged
body and I will make

you whole. One middle-aged white lady special
coming right up.

Thanks. I'm gonna play a quick video on the ins
and outs of the procedure and then we'll get
started.

Do you wish you weren't so old and saggy?

Do you wish you were younger?

Sexier? Fuckable again?

One single injection unlocks your DNA creating a
new barrier.

This is the stuff.

Doc, this isn't that Gwyneth Paltrow crap that
makes you smell like a vag, is it?

I like it.

Oh! Oh!

Oh! Wow,

that's a lot of stuff.

Ooh, a mask on a mask.

Safety first, right Doc?

Oh! Oh! Oh no!

I was having second thoughts!

I'm gonna love and accept myself as I am!

Ah! I feel...

fucking down.

Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah!

Ah! Oops,

wrong movie.

You were thinking of...

But you said it.

White chicks to my ass.

Hey, Sarah.

Tuesday, I tried to visit you.

I am sorry for everything, especially your name.

It was Taco Tuesday, I was super drunk.

But I promise you, I will kill this motherfucker!

It's fine, really, we're cool.

I'm not... I'll hold the car.

I'm going to take you to the car!

I got stabbed in my death, you dumbass!

I'm taking twos away from all of this!

Uh-oh.

I tried to run two, but it follows!

Now you're probably expecting a flashback to that
movie, but it's too obscure.

Yeah, and the plot is weird.

You have sex with someone, give them an SCD, and
then they haunt them in the form of their naked

grandma. It's like an SCD by epic.

The killer is taunting me!

Why doesn't he just kill us?

Speak for yourself!

Like, what are you waiting for?

Oh, no, no, no, sweetie, sweetie, it's like this.

What are you waiting for, huh?

What are you waiting for?

What are you waiting for?

What are you waiting for?

Oh, God, I wish you weren't my mother!

What are you waiting for?

Candyman. Candyman.

Candyman. You sure about this?

Yeah, keep saying it.

Candyman? Candyman!

Oh! So, what's

up? You got that Candyman?

I got weed gummies, canuts, Yeah!

shroom chops. Oh, shit!

And what take you so long to show up?

Come on, Clarence.

I called you five times, nigger, show up in three.

You ain't even called me on the phone.

Lucky I was walking by and her draw through the
hole in this wall.

Fixed that shit.

You shut your ass up.

You need to go to a proctologist and get your skin
looked at.

Having acne over the age of 40 is wild work.

I look better than this, nigger.

Maybe on this side.

Ain't no time for beating.

We about to be high as fuck.

We gonna party, son!

Happy Halloween, y'all!

Watch out for those ladies.

That's right. Wake up.

Hey! I love it.

Look at that.

Looking good. You seen your sister?

Ray, you seen Gay?

I can't find her since she went to that protest.

No. Ray, let me get it.

You are Woody from Toy Story.

Nah, Brenda, that's gay.

Jake Gyllenhaal from Brokeback Mountain.

I wish I knew how to quit you, but I can't.

You love that movie.

Hey, Brenda. Huh?

Have you seen my big old bag of candy?

It had chocolates, gummies, lollipops.

It's gone missing.

No, no, no.

It's not missing.

I passed it out to the trick-or-treaters.

Brenda, that's my stash.

Ha ha ha!

I'm so fucking high!

Woo hoo! I can't feel my wish!

I'm on the nose of shit!

Six-seven! Six-seven!

Ah! Fuck.

Why is she looking at me?

I'm a little disturbed by you.

I'm beautiful.

I'm beautiful.

Do you know how many baby seals die from
microplastics?

Shit. Let's go, Stacey!

My God, he stabbed her!

Not her. My pronouns, are they them?

He stabbed them!

I'm over 40.

How am I supposed to keep up with all of this?

She's not wrong.

It's Karens like you that keep the patriarchy
going with their knees on our necks.

Now you're playing the race card?

I've had enough of her shit.

Their shit, bitch!

And to be clear, my real name is Karens!

Oh shit, this is too good.

Ignore the insults.

They don't realize we're here to help them.

Toxic masculinity and mansplaining doesn't help
anybody.

How's my masculinity toxic?

I love women and sports.

Just not together.

Come here, bitch.

I got you.

Be next! I ain't ready for this!

Be out there and be next!

Fuck you, bitch!

So nice!

I blame the manosphere.

Uncle Shorty. What's up, nephew?

Can I ask you something?

Yeah, sure.

It's about, you know, how to go down on a girl.

You talking about eating pussy?

It's so cringe, but yeah.

So maybe if you stop talking like a 14-year-old
white girl, you can learn something.

Alright, so listen up.

First thing you gotta do, you gotta spread the
legs.

You gotta open it up.

Then you wanna use your fingers.

Sometimes you can use two.

Two fingers, like that there.

Now once you get it all in there now, you gotta
use your tongue.

You can't be afraid of it.

Yeah, lean into it.

No, no, no, you're doing it too fast.

What, you a lizard?

You gotta be gentle.

You gotta talk to it.

Hey, little guy.

How you doing?

Boom! It's like rolling a blunt.

All you gotta do, nephew...

Suit that shit.

Got it? Right, now, if you wanna learn to lick
ass, ask your mama.

Oh, you feel so good.

Oh, yeah. Elle, I wanna try something.

I thought you said you'd never let me peck you.

What? No. Relax.

I just wanna taste you.

Okay. Dinner time.

Oh yeah, come here, baby.

Careful, my kitty's gangster.

It is gangster.

Okay. He slapped you so hard, he wants some more.

You feel so much better than Daryl and them.

Get back in there.

Yeah, lick it.

Yeah! Lick it hard!

Finisher. Oh my God!

Just like rolling a blunt.

Now all I gotta do is hit it.

Elle! What the fuck?

Hey there. We heard tell of a Halloween party.

You didn't now, did you?

We're here to drink, play bad music, do some half
-gay shit.

Why just half-gay?

Can I help you?

If you just invite us in.

Why you need an invitation?

White folks show up to parties uninvited all the
time with their little nasty ass casseroles.

Bland as shit, y'all better start using some
Lowry.

And why she got them dirty ass feet?

Looked like you was walking around porn sets all
day.

Got them trailer-plop toes.

Jesus! I think you're in the wrong place.

Y'all clean?

No. We believe in music and equality.

How about we show y'all?

It's okay, no.

Well we're moving on up,

to the East Side.

To a deluxe apartment in the sky.

We're moving on up.

Degentrified to Jefferson's?

Weezy's rolling around in her grave right now.

Can't do this to the black national anthem.

Bye! Boo!

Nigga you suck!

Boo your ass!

Get that bullshit out of here!

Why don't y'all just go to one of those frat
parties where they drink until they black out and

wake up with their booties hurting, not knowing
what someone in the cowboy hat did to them.

Yeah, what?

Okay, well, we will leave you guys alone, but
we're gonna walk real slow just in case y'all
change

your minds.

Change your minds yet?

No. Hell no.

How about now?

Fuck no!

Yes? Hell definitely not.

Keep walking! Now get!

Let's go. Sarah, come on!

White folks is getting weird again.

Guys, I think I saw an open window over here.

That window's closed.

Not for long.

Whoa! Wicked.

God, fucking idiots.

Hey, Tuesday! You came back!

Yeah, I left my inhaler.

Honestly, Tuesday, I thought inhaler is the worst
plot device in movie history.

That's true. Should have been in vape.

But we're here now, so let's make the most of it.

Now where's them white clothes at?

Sarah? Hello? Get that shit out of here!

Get your sister and get out of there right now,
okay hun?

I am a grown ass woman.

Mother, I don't have to do anything you tell me to
do.

That's the house where your psycho father killed
those people.

Someone wanted to get you there.

Which means someone wants to get me there.

Oh my god, this isn't about you!

Why are you yelling?

Because the camera's so fucking far away!

Wait, hold on, are you tracking my phone?

Shh, you're breaking up.

Yeah, shh.

Happy birthday. Hey, that's my car!

What the fuck?

Hell? I'm sorry.

I thought I was supposed to smoke it.

Oh shit.

Seriously, with the twelve years of slave shit?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

I didn't see that movie, okay?

I just found this thing in the shed.

Jeez. Come

on, bro. That's even worse.

I didn't mean it that way.

Some of my best victims are black.

And another brother falls victim to gun violence.

Turns out race is still an issue.

That's not fair.

You know, black guys usually die first in horror
movies.

Damn! This give a whole new meaning to Dead by
Daylight.

Yeah. Get him, son.

Goofy ass out of here.

Hello, shorty. Poopoo!

Get him, niggas!

Got your silly ass!

You about to be high.

Fucking... Shit!

Bro, why are you running backwards, son?

Oh, no, it's not me.

Something's wrong with me.

Nigga, your reload is upside down.

You're fucking high, son.

Game on, bitches.

No, no, no.

Ah! Wrong nigga!

Black lives matter.

Not you, shorty!

Oh my... I need you.

What's going on?

Jack! Oh, thank God you're here.

Where were you?

Goose face was just here.

I was just outside getting some fresh air.

Stop! One of you is the killer.

Well? Why do you have blood on your hands?

I found Brad outside.

She's the killer!

I am not the killer.

I'm not even sex positive.

I'm a virgin.

No way. You're being like every dude in
Woodsville.

Fuck you. Whoa!

The butt doesn't count.

Ah! Shit, she's not itched!

Welcome to Act Three, bitches.

What? What does that even mean?

It's when the shit goes down.

Oh. I still don't really know what she means, but
I think we should run!

Run! Run!

Cindy! Brenda! Cindy, they in there shooting!

It's been a while.

I blame it on video games, not the liquor or lack
of parental supervision.

You're gonna need this.

Do you have one bigger and black?

Oh, wrong bag.

Oh, who are you, Joan Wick?

I would have said ballerina, but nobody saw that
shit.

Let's do this.

Okay. Stop! Stop it!

I'm definitely not making it, please!

What do you think?

I think Drake lost to Kendrick.

I still like Drake, but what was up with that
lawsuit?

That's such a bitch-ass move.

About this situation.

Oh, that's definitely a trap.

She don't know we already been here, does she?

Ah! Cindy! It hurts!

Am I gonna make it?

I doubt it.

Oh, God, Cindy!

Oh, my bitch!

I'm not dead yet!

Oh, my bad.

Now you go back in there.

Finish it. For me, Cindy.

I would do anything for you, Brenda.

Oh, yes! She bought it!

That old catch-up trick, it don't fail.

That bitch is crazy if she thought I was taking my
black ass back in there.

Oh, shoot!

Attention, all killers!

You have five seconds to show yourselves!

Shorty! Bitch!

You shot my favorite ball!

Go find your old damn closet!

Sorry! Hello,

Cindy. Hello. Looks like you forgot the first rule
of surviving

a horror movie.

Never answer that phone.

I thought the first rule was never trust the love
interest.

Oh, really? Well, I'm changing the rules.

How about that?

New rule. Go fuck yourself.

Wait, wait!

Oh, why do you hate closets so much?

I told you to come out.

Yeah, well, I didn't want to get shot!

Ironic, isn't it?

You missed me, bitch!

Oh, God, it's Ghostface!

Did tell you.

You think you're done, wick?

Acting like I killed your dog?

I'm dead.

The dog is just a metaphor.

It was about losing his wife.

Shorty's not an allegory.

Let us begin.

Oh, that stunt girl is good.

Eat a dick!

Shoot him, Sarah.

End this. Don't tell me what to do!

This isn't the best time to resolve our mommy
-daughter issues, but, Sarah, I am so

sorry. I have been a terrible mother.

I don't even know your sister, Wednesday.

Tuesday. Have to clarify that for legal reasons.

But I prepared you for this.

So go on, baby.

You can't do this.

I'm gonna kill him.

Sarah! Jack!

Jack! Thank God you're okay, because I really
wanted to be the one to kill him!

Take it, babe.

See, I told you it was about me.

No, Sarah.

You were just the bait.

It's about her.

Fuck! Sorry, honey.

I hate being right.

You should have listened to Doofy.

The love interest.

It just seemed too obvious, you know?

Which makes you think it is not obvious.

Same page, honey.

Right. Yeah, well, that's the twist!

Now get in the kitchen.

Go! Okay, listen up!

See, there hasn't been a great horror movie since
the first one.

We're gonna save the franchise.

Go get our special guest star.

Hi, Sarah. Hollywood is out of ideas.

Why else would there be a scary movie, Six?

It wouldn't work with just the new characters,
would it?

We need the legacy characters.

And there wouldn't be a Cindy without our sassy
black sidekick, Brenda.

You ain't have to say black with no heart, be like
that.

Brenda, didn't you get shot?

Did I?

Oh, wait, I did!

Oh, look! God, that healed me!

Oh, what did you do?

Stop dancing! I'm gonna kill you!

Stop dancing! Everybody stop dancing!

Mom! No! You called me mom!

You care about me!

Well, I wouldn't go that far, but I mean...

Sure. Go get Tuesday!

Okay, ladies, time to stage the body!

Let's go, let's go, let's go!

Who are

you people? We're the motherfuckers that are
taking over this franchise.

Oh, yeah? Okay!

Oh, my God!

That was not part of the plan!

Oh, God!

Neither was this.

Wait, Ray got one of those!

Woo! Hot damn!

Anthony Anderson! Yeah, and I brought my boy Kevin
Hart with me.

What? Shaq? That's right.

On my knees, I'm the same height as Kevin.

And Kevin said no.

Kevin Hart said no?

That little motherfucker says yes to everything.

Yeah, he does.

But wait, there's more.

Chatter! Bitches! Ray!

Shorty! Yeah, that's right.

Four black killers.

We're making history.

This is a new definition of black excellence.

But why would you do this?

Question is, why would you try to make a sequel
without us, huh?

Yeah! When the studio wanted to replace these
brothers, I was there!

That's facts. What about me?

What about you?

You were in one scene in part four.

Yes, but I made that motherfucker Dr.

Phil cut his foot off.

And he crazy named.

Yeah, he got weird.

But you see what they're trying to do?

They're trying to pit us all up against each
other.

They're trying to start black on very black crime.

That's right! Yo, Shaq.

Hey, I'm proud of you, bro.

You've had an amazing career as a sports
commentator since retiring from basketball.

And I love the big podcast.

I love that shit.

Even though I don't understand the words you be
saying.

You be on that show talking about I love your
shit.

I love your shit.

Kobe, enough! But my point is, nigga, I love your
shit.

But I never got over Kazan.

Oh, shit! Get your big ass over here!

I hated that movie, too!

Why did you leave the Vegas?

You and Kobe would have had nothing!

That motherfucker traded me!

Shaq! How big is your foot?

22. Then how big is your dick?

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Pulse. What the fuck are you talking about?

I'm doing it for the culture.

What culture? Culture club.

Come on, Ray, we're killing people.

Stay focused. All right, all right, all right.

We back. Hey, Ant, don't you worry.

We family, Ant.

Mad respect, y'all.

Black is nominated for eight Emmys.

My nigga.

Actually, the show was only nominated for five.

I was nominated for eight.

Oh, my bestie!

Oh, my bestie!

Nominations! Yeah, man.

But you never won.

What? It's June Fruite!

Nothing Spanish to me, motherfuckers!

This is for doing scary movies for you!

I didn't know they fired the family!

And this is for copying our Good Time episode on
Blackish!

But you guys were on the WB!

Nobody saw that shit!

No, no, no.

And you, and you!

Y'all went and did scary movie three and four
without us!

Nigga, I'm sorry!

They offered me so much money!

I got a new house, a new car, I got wigs that
don't itch!

What about you?

Well, I had a chance to work with the incomparable
Charlie Sheen.

That's good. He's a legend.

And his dick game was crazy.

You know, he slept with 47,000 women and a
thousand of them women were dudes.

Lucky guy.

Wait. So y'all gonna kill us now?

Nah! What would Halloween be without Jamie Lee
Curtis?

Or Scream be without Neve Campbell?

That would be Scream 6.

How did you guys pull all of this off?

Sandy, you know how many wayans there are?

Nigga billions! Billions.

I'm just so happy that the old gang is back
together.

Okay, in the middle on three, core four!

What? Nah, nah.

That's corn and swag.

What about the young and the restless?

Yeah, or the old and then the beautiful.

Or the cute and the crusty.

Yeah, or the sexy and then the senile.

We were brought in to take over the franchise!

That's right. You guys are like 70 years old!

I just dragged that one from the subway.

Oh, my back hurts.

Guys! Guys! They're already dead.

Nah! Little fuckers always come back.

Oh no. Not this time!

Exactly. Come on, let's go.

We gotta manage.

That's my next generation man!

Oh, bitch!

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Do we feel bad?

I mean, those are our kids.

Fuck those kids!

This is our franchise!

Besides, we get to do all these dramatic walkaways
with the fire in back of us.

But damn, it's hot.

I don't know.

I kinda like it.

You do, Ray?

We should play fireman.

You wanna dress up like a fireman?

No, I want you to dress up like a fireman.

Y'all feeling draft.

Okay, okay. Ambidextrous, both hands need a check
Whole fam need respect More

bands, nothing less Tax season, cause I got the
plan to collect

Look at me now We on a whole nother level, my foot
on the pedal, my eyes on the crown

Look at me now We on a whole nother level Bigger
than ever, we back

Okay, okay We back Okay, okay Bigger than ever, we
back Wait

on it, put in pain for it, everyday a day to train
for it We on a whole nother level

Bigger than ever, we back

Look at me now We on a whole nother level Look at
me now My foot on the

pedal, my eyes on the crown We on a whole nother
level Look at me now

Look at me now Look at me now We on a whole nother
level

Bigger than ever, we back

Okay, okay We back Okay, okay Bigger than ever, we
back Wait

on it, put in pain for it, everyday a day to train
for it We on a whole nother level

Bigger than ever, we back

Ay, ay, ay We back Ay, ay, ay We back Ay,

ay, ay We back We on a whole nother level Bigger
than ever,

we back

Coming soon to a theater near you Come to me Come,
Frollo From

the studio that brought you every black version of
a white movie

I am I am both an appetite I am both an appetite,
nothing That's not what you said last night

When you were sucking on my chest

The sisters may hear you Too late You triplets
sell out I don't

know this bitch, she tried to get me This is a
trapment Negro ain't shit Behold

the black vampire

Brosferatu Coming this Kwanzaa

Coming soon to a theater near you I am both an
appetite, nothing That's not what you said last

night The sisters may hear you I am

both an appetite, nothing I am both an appetite,
nothing The sisters may hear you Something isn't
right here

He's definitely ghost face Sit

Agri-Burger That hand should spend the rest of its
life in prison That little hand, man, I mean

Respectfully, that thing Probably give a nice hand
job Off the chain Guaranteed,

tight grip Making meat look two times bigger I
don't want a hand job from him Let me tell you

that, first and foremost I do not want a hand job
from him Me neither However, when you look at

it like a shotgun

You're done

Now listen, we're gonna hold him, okay?

Okay Might be a day, two weeks, I don't know I
don't know how long this movie is Like Chris

Nolan movie with farts But what I want you to do
is go in there And show him what you

got Cock it and rock it

There she is The birthday girl

I brought a cake Make a wish

My germs

Finger looking good

Agent Burger, I'm just trying to give you my
strong hand No But it's a meme Mr.

Short Hand, are you Ghostface?

Woo! It stings It's really...

Okay, that hurts Can I talk to you for a second?

Okay This table needs an air pack

I didn't think it would hurt so bad So we got the
wrong guy Could have told you that Why?

Oh yeah You know it's...

Oh shit! That's how I feel

What do we do now?

Back out slowly Like my neighbor when I caught him
inside my wife Where are you guys going?

They're still together?

Unfortunately Sorry, man It's okay, we're a
throuple now

Quickly You're in trouble I'm sorry I'm sorry

you