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1
00:00:01,810 --> 00:00:04,050
The cover model, she was so...
2
00:00:04,080 --> 00:00:06,840
I wish I could look like that.
3
00:00:06,880 --> 00:00:08,220
You've never seen her before?
4
00:00:18,570 --> 00:00:19,570
Much better.
5
00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:28,670
Hey.
6
00:00:28,710 --> 00:00:30,190
Love the look.
7
00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:51,740
I'm ready to clean my closet.
8
00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:56,600
Where are you?
9
00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:58,770
You didn't see me.
I was never here.
10
00:00:58,810 --> 00:01:01,290
Sabrina, have you seen Salem?
11
00:01:01,330 --> 00:01:03,120
Um... no?
12
00:01:03,150 --> 00:01:05,220
Salem: You are the worst liar.
13
00:01:05,260 --> 00:01:06,640
Come on.
14
00:01:06,670 --> 00:01:08,330
No, I won't go!
15
00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:10,570
I won't go! I won't go!
16
00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:13,150
Oh, is it time for Salem
to be wormed again?
17
00:01:13,190 --> 00:01:16,120
Salem: No, worse. I have
to do community service.
18
00:01:16,150 --> 00:01:17,290
It's part of his punishment
19
00:01:17,330 --> 00:01:19,290
for attempting global conquest.
20
00:01:19,330 --> 00:01:21,270
As if being a cat for a
hundred years wasn't enough
21
00:01:21,290 --> 00:01:23,770
Zelda had to put me in a
pets for prisoners program.
22
00:01:23,810 --> 00:01:25,330
I gave you a choice.
23
00:01:25,360 --> 00:01:27,050
You could have
done highway cleanup.
24
00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:29,740
Yeah, cats do real
well on highways.
25
00:01:29,770 --> 00:01:33,400
Stop complaining and get your wormy
little butt downstairs in two minutes.
26
00:01:33,430 --> 00:01:35,220
It's time to pay
your debt to society.
27
00:01:35,260 --> 00:01:37,050
Can't I just write a check?
28
00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:38,230
I don't know what
your problem is.
29
00:01:38,260 --> 00:01:39,530
It's nice to help people.
30
00:01:39,570 --> 00:01:42,260
And what nice things
have you done lately?
31
00:01:42,290 --> 00:01:44,460
Me? I do nice
things all the time.
32
00:01:44,500 --> 00:01:45,220
Really?
33
00:01:45,260 --> 00:01:47,150
Since you got magical powers
34
00:01:47,190 --> 00:01:49,150
all I've seen you do
is change your clothes
35
00:01:49,190 --> 00:01:51,150
and make Brussels
sprouts disappear.
36
00:01:51,190 --> 00:01:52,640
That's not true
and I'll prove it.
37
00:01:52,670 --> 00:01:55,640
I'll use my magic to do three nice
things before the end of school today.
38
00:01:55,670 --> 00:01:56,460
Easy.
39
00:01:56,500 --> 00:01:57,400
Not so easy.
40
00:01:57,430 --> 00:01:59,080
Before you shoot
your little finger off
41
00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:01,150
you better consider
the consequences.
42
00:02:01,190 --> 00:02:04,190
Or terrriblethings could happen.
43
00:02:07,150 --> 00:02:09,290
Hi. My name's Jenny.
44
00:02:09,330 --> 00:02:10,720
I'm running for
sophomore class president.
45
00:02:10,740 --> 00:02:12,080
I'm with the outsider party.
46
00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:13,710
Hi. My name is Libby.
47
00:02:13,740 --> 00:02:15,640
I'm also running
for class president.
48
00:02:15,670 --> 00:02:17,220
But I'm with the popular party.
49
00:02:17,260 --> 00:02:19,290
A vote for me is a
vote for smaller classes
50
00:02:19,330 --> 00:02:20,840
and more funding for the arts.
51
00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:24,710
A vote for me is a vote
for more pizza at lunch.
52
00:02:24,740 --> 00:02:26,050
I'm voting for her.
53
00:02:29,430 --> 00:02:31,510
She's pretty much killing
you with that pizza platform.
54
00:02:31,530 --> 00:02:32,710
I don't get it.
55
00:02:32,740 --> 00:02:35,150
Why doesn't anybody want
to support the outsider party?
56
00:02:35,190 --> 00:02:37,810
Maybe because you named
it after their biggest fear?
57
00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:39,810
Libby thinks being
class president
58
00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:42,080
is about lunch food and dances.
59
00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:43,810
Call me idealistic,
but I really want
60
00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:45,430
to make this school
a better place.
61
00:02:45,460 --> 00:02:46,740
Hey, you got my vote.
62
00:02:46,770 --> 00:02:49,190
Which gives me a
grand total of two.
63
00:02:49,220 --> 00:02:50,150
Poor Jenny.
64
00:02:50,190 --> 00:02:51,530
There's nothing like losing
65
00:02:51,570 --> 00:02:54,020
to say, "you're a loser."
66
00:02:56,880 --> 00:02:58,150
I wish I could win.
67
00:02:58,190 --> 00:03:00,120
I really wanted to
make a difference.
68
00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:13,190
That's one nice thing.
69
00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:19,500
Hey, Harvey.
70
00:03:19,530 --> 00:03:20,740
Whoa! What's that smell?
71
00:03:20,770 --> 00:03:23,080
Protein shake. Coach says I need
72
00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:25,400
to bulk up if I ever want
to start at running back.
73
00:03:25,430 --> 00:03:27,640
Well, you look fatter.
74
00:03:27,670 --> 00:03:29,020
That's sweet of you.
75
00:03:30,190 --> 00:03:31,570
But you see that guy over there?
76
00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:33,740
That's Randy, the destroyer.
77
00:03:33,770 --> 00:03:35,710
Unless I put on 20
pounds or he gets injured
78
00:03:35,740 --> 00:03:37,530
I stay on the bench.
79
00:03:37,570 --> 00:03:39,220
Man, I want to play.
80
00:03:39,260 --> 00:03:40,770
You want to go in?
81
00:03:40,810 --> 00:03:43,640
Yeah, I'll be there in a sec.
82
00:03:43,670 --> 00:03:44,670
Hey, watch it!
83
00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:48,220
Ow!
84
00:03:48,260 --> 00:03:50,290
My hand!
85
00:03:50,330 --> 00:03:51,360
That's two.
86
00:03:53,190 --> 00:03:55,190
Sorry I'm late, but
my car broke down.
87
00:03:55,220 --> 00:03:59,360
I made the mistake of trying
to go uphill in my amc gremlin.
88
00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:01,260
Why don't you just get
a better car, Mr. Pool?
89
00:04:01,290 --> 00:04:02,360
Like a Ferrari?
90
00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:03,770
Sure, you know what?
91
00:04:03,810 --> 00:04:05,840
I'm going to run
right out and buy one.
92
00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:07,640
And I'll pay for it
with... frustration.
93
00:04:07,670 --> 00:04:09,810
Now can we move on to science?
94
00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:11,750
All right, today we're going
to talk about the elements
95
00:04:11,770 --> 00:04:13,740
and why one can't
turn lead into gold
96
00:04:13,770 --> 00:04:16,330
no matter how hard one tries.
97
00:04:18,220 --> 00:04:21,810
And radon, the heaviest
of the noble gases.
98
00:04:21,840 --> 00:04:22,770
Don't laugh.
99
00:04:22,810 --> 00:04:23,810
[ Bell rings]
100
00:04:23,840 --> 00:04:25,600
Read chapter four tonight.
101
00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:27,530
And take showers.
102
00:04:27,570 --> 00:04:30,050
Especially you.
103
00:04:30,080 --> 00:04:31,530
Hey, Mr. Pool, are you okay?
104
00:04:31,570 --> 00:04:32,820
You seem
especially bitter today.
105
00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:34,670
Me? I'm fine.
106
00:04:36,740 --> 00:04:38,260
What a mess!
107
00:04:38,290 --> 00:04:39,500
It's just a bunch of papers.
108
00:04:39,530 --> 00:04:41,770
No, my life.
109
00:04:41,810 --> 00:04:43,460
I've been a teacher seven years
110
00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:45,740
and I still can't afford
a new briefcase.
111
00:04:45,770 --> 00:04:47,260
I foundthis one.
112
00:04:47,290 --> 00:04:49,600
I was wondering who t.G.K. Was.
113
00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:50,770
Just to pay my bills
114
00:04:50,810 --> 00:04:52,330
I have to work cafeteria duty
115
00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:54,190
I have to supervise
the science club
116
00:04:54,220 --> 00:04:55,640
and on weekends
117
00:04:55,670 --> 00:04:59,710
I... wash principal larue's car.
118
00:04:59,740 --> 00:05:01,680
Well, maybe you should
consider doing something else.
119
00:05:01,710 --> 00:05:03,460
Like what? I love
teaching science.
120
00:05:03,500 --> 00:05:06,120
It's the only good
thing in my life.
121
00:05:06,150 --> 00:05:08,360
Well, you have a lot of coupons.
122
00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:10,050
Thanks.
123
00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:12,840
Oh, this one for 40 cents
off fruitkooks has expired.
124
00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:15,500
No!
125
00:05:15,530 --> 00:05:17,840
Ah, who are they
fooling, anyway?
126
00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:19,440
You can no more
sweeten a cookie with fruit
127
00:05:19,460 --> 00:05:21,360
than you can
turn lead into gold.
128
00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:27,050
Or can you?
129
00:05:27,080 --> 00:05:28,360
Wait a minute.
130
00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:30,460
Why didn't I think
of this before?
131
00:05:30,500 --> 00:05:32,400
Lead is pb...
132
00:05:32,430 --> 00:05:34,840
Mercury with...
133
00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:37,670
Thanks for helping me
pick up my stuff, Sabrina.
134
00:05:37,710 --> 00:05:39,150
Now get out. I'm onto something.
135
00:05:43,460 --> 00:05:45,710
Yes! Yes!
136
00:05:45,740 --> 00:05:48,190
This would turn lead into gold!
137
00:05:48,220 --> 00:05:51,120
But that's alchemy and it
defies the laws of physics.
138
00:05:51,150 --> 00:05:52,510
Ah, who cares?
I'm going to be rich!
139
00:05:52,530 --> 00:05:53,530
Whoo!
140
00:05:56,500 --> 00:05:58,460
That's three nice things.
141
00:05:58,500 --> 00:06:00,080
[ Violin playing off-key]
142
00:06:04,260 --> 00:06:05,770
That was very good, Jeffrey.
143
00:06:05,810 --> 00:06:07,570
But your e-string needs tuning.
144
00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:08,600
I'll be right back.
145
00:06:13,220 --> 00:06:14,530
This one's for Mozart.
146
00:06:16,290 --> 00:06:18,570
Hey, guys.
147
00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:20,260
Oh, I see Jeffrey's here.
148
00:06:20,290 --> 00:06:23,080
Yep. Mozart started
spinning in his grave
149
00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:24,430
about ten minutes ago.
150
00:06:24,460 --> 00:06:27,600
Oh, please, let the
poor man rest in peace.
151
00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:29,020
I don't get it, aunt hilda.
152
00:06:29,050 --> 00:06:31,410
Why don't you just use your
magic to make Jeffrey play better?
153
00:06:31,430 --> 00:06:33,640
Wouldn't that be a nice
thing for him and for us?
154
00:06:33,670 --> 00:06:35,360
Yes, but I would never do that.
155
00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:37,050
That's right. You
must be careful
156
00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:38,640
about meddling
in mortals' lives.
157
00:06:38,670 --> 00:06:39,640
We witches have rules.
158
00:06:39,670 --> 00:06:41,220
Who cares about the rules?
159
00:06:41,260 --> 00:06:44,260
I just want Jeffrey to
keep paying for lessons.
160
00:06:44,290 --> 00:06:46,530
Well, I've got to get back.
161
00:06:46,570 --> 00:06:47,740
Must you?
162
00:06:51,150 --> 00:06:52,220
[ Plucks note]
163
00:06:52,260 --> 00:06:53,330
Perfect.
164
00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:56,400
Like it matters.
165
00:06:56,430 --> 00:06:57,720
Aunt hilda, I'm
still a little confused
166
00:06:57,740 --> 00:06:59,050
about this meddling thing.
167
00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:01,600
Why is it you can't you use magic
to make someone's life better?
168
00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:04,840
Because it's impossible to know
what would make a mortal happy.
169
00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:07,120
What if you knew exactly
what would make them happy?
170
00:07:07,150 --> 00:07:09,330
You still can't predict
the consequences.
171
00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:11,260
But wouldn't those
consequences just be good?
172
00:07:11,290 --> 00:07:14,400
Well, in some cases the
consequences might be good
173
00:07:14,430 --> 00:07:16,530
but then again
174
00:07:16,570 --> 00:07:19,810
terrriblethings could happen.
175
00:07:22,330 --> 00:07:23,330
Hey.
176
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:24,840
Any word on the election?
177
00:07:24,880 --> 00:07:27,530
Not officially,
but this came out.
178
00:07:29,430 --> 00:07:30,580
How can they print
that Libby's won
179
00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:32,360
when the results haven't
been announced yet?
180
00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:33,840
It's a weekly, Sabrina.
181
00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:35,190
They usually just go on a hunch.
182
00:07:35,220 --> 00:07:37,150
Yeah, well, I have a hunch too.
183
00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:39,330
Attention students,
this is principal larue.
184
00:07:39,360 --> 00:07:43,260
I have in my hands the results of a
grand experiment called democracy.
185
00:07:43,290 --> 00:07:44,080
Just say it.
186
00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:45,340
For president of
the freshman class
187
00:07:45,360 --> 00:07:47,570
the winner is Andy gallop.
188
00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:50,460
For president of the
sophomore class, the winner is...
189
00:07:50,500 --> 00:07:51,330
Libby chessler.
190
00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:52,530
Jennifer Kelly.
191
00:07:52,570 --> 00:07:55,120
[ Shrieks]
192
00:07:55,150 --> 00:07:56,430
Can you believe I won?
193
00:07:56,460 --> 00:07:58,190
Yes, I can.
194
00:07:58,220 --> 00:07:59,660
How about a picture
for the yearbook?
195
00:08:02,740 --> 00:08:04,600
Hey, congratulations, Jenny.
196
00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:05,770
I'm really glad you won.
197
00:08:05,810 --> 00:08:09,050
It's because people like you
voted for me and not pizza.
198
00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:10,770
Uh, right.
199
00:08:10,810 --> 00:08:12,600
I'm having a great day too.
200
00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:15,500
Coach just told me I'm starting
at running back tomorrow.
201
00:08:15,530 --> 00:08:17,100
That's great. That's what
you wanted, right, Harvey?
202
00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:18,290
Absolutely.
203
00:08:18,330 --> 00:08:19,580
You guys going to
come watch me play?
204
00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:20,740
Sure. Cool.
205
00:08:20,770 --> 00:08:22,460
Cool.
206
00:08:22,500 --> 00:08:25,670
Don't be late, 'cause,
you know, I'm starting.
207
00:08:27,220 --> 00:08:29,190
Libby, I just wanted to say
208
00:08:29,220 --> 00:08:31,570
that I think you handled
your defeat very gracefully.
209
00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:32,670
Oh, bite me.
210
00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:36,570
Sorry, I'm late
211
00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:39,080
but I was out buying a new car.
212
00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:41,770
A Ferrari, since you asked.
213
00:08:41,810 --> 00:08:43,500
Yes, thanks to the miracle
214
00:08:43,530 --> 00:08:45,120
of science and an educated brain
215
00:08:45,150 --> 00:08:48,430
I now have one...
Wicked set of wheels.
216
00:08:48,460 --> 00:08:50,220
Okay, whoever can explain
217
00:08:50,260 --> 00:08:52,500
the krebs cycle
gets a lump of gold.
218
00:08:52,530 --> 00:08:55,570
Isn't learning fun?
219
00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:56,500
Salem, you're back.
220
00:08:56,530 --> 00:08:57,600
How was jail?
221
00:08:57,640 --> 00:08:58,500
Not bad.
222
00:08:58,530 --> 00:09:00,260
There's a guy in
solitary convinced
223
00:09:00,290 --> 00:09:03,120
Alan Dershowitz appeared
to him as a talking cat.
224
00:09:03,150 --> 00:09:04,300
I told him I'd call the governor
225
00:09:04,330 --> 00:09:06,260
and plead his innocence.
226
00:09:06,290 --> 00:09:08,120
See? I told you it was
nice to help people.
227
00:09:08,150 --> 00:09:09,810
Are you kidding?
I'm not calling.
228
00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:11,600
Calling who? About what?
229
00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:13,050
Are we getting pizza?
230
00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:14,570
No. I was just
going to tell Salem
231
00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:17,150
about the nice
things I did today.
232
00:09:17,190 --> 00:09:18,260
But I'm not interested.
233
00:09:18,290 --> 00:09:19,670
I'm interested.
234
00:09:19,710 --> 00:09:21,460
Tell me.
235
00:09:21,500 --> 00:09:22,710
Oh, but wait.
236
00:09:25,360 --> 00:09:27,330
Okay, start.
237
00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:30,220
I wanted to use magic
more to help my friends
238
00:09:30,260 --> 00:09:31,580
so I made a few
adjustments in their lives...
239
00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:32,740
Hold on.
240
00:09:32,770 --> 00:09:35,220
Didn't Zelda tell you there
are rules against meddling?
241
00:09:35,260 --> 00:09:37,400
And terrriblethings
could happen?
242
00:09:37,430 --> 00:09:38,190
Not again.
243
00:09:38,220 --> 00:09:39,570
Look, everyone's happy.
244
00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:41,190
Everything's working
out great, okay?
245
00:09:41,220 --> 00:09:43,120
There's nothing
terrribleabout it.
246
00:09:47,640 --> 00:09:49,400
This is terrriblepizza.
247
00:09:51,530 --> 00:09:54,640
And a fair catch is called
by the fighting scallions.
248
00:09:54,670 --> 00:09:56,640
Wow. Great view.
249
00:09:56,670 --> 00:09:58,120
This is so cool
250
00:09:58,150 --> 00:09:59,120
hanging out in the
president's section
251
00:09:59,150 --> 00:10:00,430
watching Harvey start.
252
00:10:00,460 --> 00:10:02,400
Oh, look, there's Mr. Pool.
253
00:10:02,430 --> 00:10:04,740
Wow. Who's the blonde?
254
00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:06,640
I think she came
with the Ferrari.
255
00:10:06,670 --> 00:10:09,260
No, wait, she's with
the guy next to him.
256
00:10:09,290 --> 00:10:11,360
The fighting scallions
break from the huddle.
257
00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:13,430
Harvey kinkle is
the lone setback.
258
00:10:13,460 --> 00:10:14,260
There's Harvey.
259
00:10:14,290 --> 00:10:16,330
That's so great
that he's out there.
260
00:10:16,360 --> 00:10:17,770
Yeah, thanks...
261
00:10:17,810 --> 00:10:19,500
Oh, are you sure that's Harvey?
262
00:10:19,530 --> 00:10:20,770
He looks kind of small.
263
00:10:20,810 --> 00:10:22,360
It's first and ten from the 21.
264
00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:24,360
And the scallions
keep it on the ground.
265
00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:25,470
Kroeger hands off to kinkle...
266
00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:26,710
Harvey's got the ball!
267
00:10:26,740 --> 00:10:28,530
And he is pummeled!
268
00:10:28,570 --> 00:10:30,260
Oh, the humanity!
269
00:10:30,290 --> 00:10:33,260
That guy had no
business being out there.
270
00:10:33,290 --> 00:10:35,050
Oh, this is a terrible thing.
271
00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:36,290
[ Siren wailing]
272
00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:42,710
Mmm... ow!
273
00:10:42,740 --> 00:10:43,740
Oh, you poor thing.
274
00:10:43,770 --> 00:10:45,400
It even hurts to chew.
275
00:10:45,430 --> 00:10:48,290
No, it's just hot.
276
00:10:48,330 --> 00:10:48,840
Sabrina: I feel so bad
277
00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:49,740
about Harvey.
278
00:10:49,770 --> 00:10:51,260
I can't believe he
sprained his arm.
279
00:10:51,290 --> 00:10:52,750
I can't believe
that's all he sprained.
280
00:10:52,770 --> 00:10:53,840
Can we change the subject?
281
00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:55,770
Let's talk about
you being president.
282
00:10:55,810 --> 00:10:59,120
All right. I have my big meeting
with principal larue this afternoon.
283
00:10:59,150 --> 00:11:02,080
Hey, Jenny tell larue to do
something about this meatloaf.
284
00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:03,020
Meatloaf?
285
00:11:03,050 --> 00:11:05,430
Hey, man, what about
intellectual freedom?
286
00:11:05,460 --> 00:11:06,810
I'd better go.
287
00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:08,260
I'll see you at the slicery?
288
00:11:08,290 --> 00:11:09,120
Yeah, we'll get pizza.
289
00:11:09,150 --> 00:11:09,840
Great idea.
290
00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:11,530
This meatloaf really gags.
291
00:11:14,080 --> 00:11:15,460
Hey, Mr. Pool, smells good.
292
00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:17,360
Linguini with white truffles.
293
00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:19,500
No more artery-clogging
sloppy Joes for me.
294
00:11:19,530 --> 00:11:21,530
Now that I'm rich, I
have a reason to live.
295
00:11:21,570 --> 00:11:23,190
So are you happy?
296
00:11:23,220 --> 00:11:24,840
I'll say.
297
00:11:24,880 --> 00:11:25,840
Wealth gives me the freedom
298
00:11:25,880 --> 00:11:27,810
to teach science without
anger and resentment.
299
00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:31,120
I can now teach for
the pure joy of teaching.
300
00:11:31,150 --> 00:11:32,840
Ah-ah-ah. Leave the whole block.
301
00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:33,880
Thank you.
302
00:11:37,710 --> 00:11:40,080
Hey, Harvey. Hi, Libby.
303
00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:42,640
So... did you make it to
the game on Saturday?
304
00:11:42,670 --> 00:11:44,220
Yeah, I saw you start...
305
00:11:44,260 --> 00:11:46,840
And finish.
306
00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:48,740
My dad's got it all on video.
307
00:11:48,770 --> 00:11:50,360
He keeps playing
it over and over
308
00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:52,460
saying that I can learn from it.
309
00:11:52,500 --> 00:11:55,190
Let me know if I can
do anything to help.
310
00:11:55,220 --> 00:11:56,770
I'm a cheerleader.
311
00:11:56,810 --> 00:11:58,460
Let me handle this.
312
00:11:58,500 --> 00:12:00,400
Sure.
313
00:12:00,430 --> 00:12:02,670
I just wanted to let
you know I'm sorry
314
00:12:02,710 --> 00:12:03,750
not like a responsible-sorry.
315
00:12:03,770 --> 00:12:04,570
More like
316
00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:05,840
a sympathetic sorry
317
00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:08,430
in a blameless,
third-party sort of way.
318
00:12:08,460 --> 00:12:10,460
Feel better.
319
00:12:10,500 --> 00:12:12,500
The principal will see you now.
320
00:12:15,770 --> 00:12:17,220
Please, sit down.
321
00:12:17,260 --> 00:12:19,150
The reason I called this meeting
322
00:12:19,190 --> 00:12:21,080
was to present my
five-point program
323
00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:22,460
my contract with westbridge,
324
00:12:22,500 --> 00:12:23,330
if I may.
325
00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:24,430
Proceed.
326
00:12:24,460 --> 00:12:26,400
The first point
focuses on class size.
327
00:12:26,430 --> 00:12:28,150
You have no authority there.
328
00:12:28,190 --> 00:12:28,670
I don't?
329
00:12:28,710 --> 00:12:30,120
No. Next point.
330
00:12:30,150 --> 00:12:32,260
I'm also concerned
about arts funding...
331
00:12:32,290 --> 00:12:33,530
You have no authority there.
332
00:12:33,570 --> 00:12:34,430
Textbooks?
333
00:12:34,460 --> 00:12:35,080
No.
334
00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:35,840
Curriculum?
335
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:37,220
No. Parking.
336
00:12:37,260 --> 00:12:37,670
I don't even have
337
00:12:37,710 --> 00:12:39,290
authority there.
338
00:12:39,330 --> 00:12:40,740
These topics that you raise
339
00:12:40,770 --> 00:12:42,330
are not to be
addressed in this room.
340
00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:44,740
They are decided by powerful men
341
00:12:44,770 --> 00:12:47,360
in smoke-filled boardrooms
hundreds of miles from here.
342
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:51,190
It is not yourplace to
question their choices.
343
00:12:51,220 --> 00:12:53,740
They know you, Jennifer.
344
00:12:53,770 --> 00:12:55,810
Better than you know yourself.
345
00:12:55,840 --> 00:12:57,670
Let's leave the
business of school
346
00:12:57,710 --> 00:13:01,150
to the people whose
business isschool.
347
00:13:01,190 --> 00:13:02,360
Student class elections
348
00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:05,600
have always been
a popularity contest.
349
00:13:05,640 --> 00:13:07,120
Let's keep it that way.
350
00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:11,150
[ Whirring]
351
00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:16,120
Hey, how did it go?
352
00:13:16,150 --> 00:13:18,670
I'm on my second
pitcher of root beer.
353
00:13:18,710 --> 00:13:20,290
Why? What's wrong?
354
00:13:20,330 --> 00:13:22,360
I wish I'd never
become president.
355
00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:23,790
You said that's what
you wanted though.
356
00:13:23,810 --> 00:13:25,600
I was so young, so naive.
357
00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:26,820
I thought I could
make a difference.
358
00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:27,810
But you can.
359
00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:28,880
No.
360
00:13:28,910 --> 00:13:32,430
You keep your illusions,
but it's too late for me.
361
00:13:32,460 --> 00:13:35,260
I've seen how the
meatloaf is made.
362
00:13:35,290 --> 00:13:36,600
Oh, Jenny, I'm sorry.
363
00:13:36,640 --> 00:13:38,050
It's a terrible thing.
364
00:13:41,430 --> 00:13:42,570
Hey.
365
00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:43,400
We need to talk.
366
00:13:43,430 --> 00:13:44,870
Not now. I've had
a really lousy day.
367
00:13:49,150 --> 00:13:51,050
And apparently,
it's not over yet.
368
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:52,640
This came in the
toaster for you.
369
00:13:52,670 --> 00:13:54,460
It's from drell.
370
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:55,720
The head of the
witches' council?
371
00:13:55,740 --> 00:13:56,500
What does he want with me?
372
00:13:56,530 --> 00:13:58,050
We don't know. I
wanted to open it.
373
00:13:58,080 --> 00:13:59,810
Zelda wouldn't let me.
374
00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:02,050
Drell: Report to my
office immediately
375
00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:04,120
and bring your aunts with you.
376
00:14:07,740 --> 00:14:08,570
I don't want to go.
377
00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:09,530
Drell scares me.
378
00:14:09,570 --> 00:14:10,680
You guys go first and
tell me what he wants.
379
00:14:10,710 --> 00:14:12,810
Hey, I don't want to see
drell any more than you do.
380
00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:14,080
Yeah, sure.
381
00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:15,810
Look, we used to be in love
382
00:14:15,840 --> 00:14:18,710
but I no longer have
any feelings for him.
383
00:14:18,740 --> 00:14:20,640
How's my hair?
384
00:14:20,670 --> 00:14:22,190
Come on, let's go.
385
00:14:24,460 --> 00:14:25,600
Hilda: Ow, my foot.
386
00:14:32,460 --> 00:14:33,330
I don't like this place.
387
00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:36,120
It reminds me of
the principal's office.
388
00:14:36,150 --> 00:14:37,600
Drell will see you now.
389
00:14:42,670 --> 00:14:45,570
You look so familiar.
390
00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:46,500
Hello, drell.
391
00:14:46,530 --> 00:14:47,740
What a pleasant surprise.
392
00:14:47,770 --> 00:14:48,740
No, it's not.
393
00:14:48,770 --> 00:14:50,840
I summoned you and you're here.
394
00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:54,220
Hilda... what's with your hair?
395
00:14:54,260 --> 00:14:56,600
My new boyfriend
likes it this way.
396
00:14:56,640 --> 00:14:57,640
Oh, your new boyfriend.
397
00:14:57,670 --> 00:14:58,740
What's his name?
398
00:14:58,770 --> 00:14:59,120
Um...
399
00:14:59,150 --> 00:14:59,840
Well, I hope
400
00:14:59,880 --> 00:15:03,190
you and... "Um" are very happy.
401
00:15:03,220 --> 00:15:04,080
Sabrina, why don't we begin
402
00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:06,600
by you explaining
to us why we're here.
403
00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:07,840
I don't know.
404
00:15:07,880 --> 00:15:09,500
Stop me if something
sounds familiar...
405
00:15:09,530 --> 00:15:10,460
"athletic injury
406
00:15:10,500 --> 00:15:11,670
"fixed election
407
00:15:11,710 --> 00:15:13,500
altered immutable laws
408
00:15:13,530 --> 00:15:14,500
of physics."
409
00:15:14,530 --> 00:15:16,080
Oh, that.
410
00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:17,360
You didn't! Sabrina!
411
00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:18,600
I was trying to help.
412
00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:20,290
"Help" is a four-letter word
413
00:15:20,330 --> 00:15:22,460
like "dumb" and "move."
414
00:15:22,500 --> 00:15:23,330
Am I right?
415
00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:25,080
First, the people I
helped were happy
416
00:15:25,120 --> 00:15:26,640
but now only one is
417
00:15:26,670 --> 00:15:28,400
and he's happy
enough for all three.
418
00:15:28,430 --> 00:15:30,290
Now, I should explain to you
419
00:15:30,330 --> 00:15:32,460
that when I say, "am I right?"
420
00:15:32,500 --> 00:15:35,570
It's a rhetorical
question because
421
00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:37,570
I'm always right.
422
00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:39,260
Drell, please...
423
00:15:39,290 --> 00:15:40,770
Sabrina's a good kid.
424
00:15:40,810 --> 00:15:42,190
And things are hard on her.
425
00:15:42,220 --> 00:15:43,600
Her mother's in Peru.
426
00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:44,710
Her father's in a book.
427
00:15:44,740 --> 00:15:46,840
And I'm in the land
of "I don't care."
428
00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:48,260
You're her guardians.
429
00:15:48,290 --> 00:15:50,080
You should have warned her
430
00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:52,500
that if you meddle
with people's lives
431
00:15:52,530 --> 00:15:54,740
terrible things could happen.
432
00:15:54,770 --> 00:15:56,640
Well, I did. That's
exactly what I said.
433
00:15:56,670 --> 00:15:57,950
So did I.
434
00:15:57,980 --> 00:16:00,430
So did Salem, but nobody made
it sound like it was a big deal.
435
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:02,020
Aw, geez.
436
00:16:03,500 --> 00:16:06,330
Marge, get the guys
down in ominous warnings
437
00:16:06,360 --> 00:16:10,710
to tweak up the reverb
on the word "terrible."
438
00:16:10,740 --> 00:16:13,810
Terrible.
439
00:16:15,460 --> 00:16:17,530
Terrible!
440
00:16:17,570 --> 00:16:19,360
Ooh, that's nice, that's nice.
441
00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:21,080
Thank you, Marge.
442
00:16:21,120 --> 00:16:23,770
Now thatwas Marge's mistake.
443
00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:28,220
And now back to yours.
444
00:16:28,260 --> 00:16:30,080
The football injury
and class elections
445
00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:31,740
have no global consequences.
446
00:16:31,770 --> 00:16:35,330
You can mess with your pimply,
pubescent peers all you want.
447
00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:36,600
Alchemy, however
448
00:16:36,640 --> 00:16:38,640
could collapse the world economy
449
00:16:38,670 --> 00:16:42,050
and wreak havoc on myt-bills!
450
00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:43,400
Are you going to fix this
451
00:16:43,430 --> 00:16:48,150
or should I give Salem
a little blonde kitty friend?
452
00:16:48,190 --> 00:16:49,460
No, I can fix it.
453
00:16:49,500 --> 00:16:51,120
I just have to erase
the knowledge.
454
00:16:51,150 --> 00:16:52,430
I don't have to
destroy Mr. Pool.
455
00:16:52,460 --> 00:16:53,430
You got a day.
456
00:16:53,460 --> 00:16:54,530
That's 23 hours
457
00:16:54,570 --> 00:16:55,460
to solve the problem
458
00:16:55,500 --> 00:16:58,840
and one hour to shop
for a scratching post.
459
00:16:58,880 --> 00:16:59,670
[ Laughs]
460
00:16:59,710 --> 00:17:00,570
You're done. Go.
461
00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:01,710
Get out of here.
462
00:17:01,740 --> 00:17:05,430
Um, except you, hilda.
463
00:17:05,460 --> 00:17:06,360
Why don't you, uh...
464
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:07,400
Stay a moment.
465
00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:11,260
That's it.
466
00:17:11,290 --> 00:17:13,360
I am never going to
help anyone ever again.
467
00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:15,290
He's just trying
to scare me, right?
468
00:17:15,330 --> 00:17:16,190
Oh, look.
469
00:17:16,220 --> 00:17:17,400
Marge's teeth.
470
00:17:17,430 --> 00:17:19,050
I've got to go find Mr. Pool.
471
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:20,400
Let's go.
472
00:17:20,430 --> 00:17:21,600
What was that all about?
473
00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:23,640
Oh, he asked me out.
474
00:17:23,670 --> 00:17:25,460
I turned him down.
475
00:17:25,500 --> 00:17:27,840
Sabrina, now you
only have 16 hours.
476
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,150
Sorry.
477
00:17:30,500 --> 00:17:32,430
Excuse me, is Mr. Pool in there?
478
00:17:32,460 --> 00:17:33,220
You mean the guy who thinks
479
00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:34,770
he's too good to
wash my car now?
480
00:17:34,810 --> 00:17:36,810
No, I haven't seen him.
481
00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:39,220
[ Whistling] Mr. Pool,
there you are.
482
00:17:39,260 --> 00:17:40,640
I am so happy to see you.
483
00:17:40,670 --> 00:17:41,360
I'm happy to see you, too
484
00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:43,080
my little coupon picker-upper.
485
00:17:43,120 --> 00:17:44,190
Come on, walk me to class.
486
00:17:44,220 --> 00:17:46,330
Hey, look what I just got.
487
00:17:46,360 --> 00:17:48,050
It's a digital
personal assistant.
488
00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:50,080
Watch this.
489
00:17:50,120 --> 00:17:51,400
I just sent myself a fax.
490
00:17:51,430 --> 00:17:53,330
I know you're really
happy with your money
491
00:17:53,360 --> 00:17:55,330
but, easy come, easy go.
492
00:17:55,360 --> 00:17:57,360
Oh! Did I tell you?
I'm funding a Grant.
493
00:17:57,400 --> 00:18:00,500
It's called "the Eugene pool
award for burnt-out teachers."
494
00:18:00,530 --> 00:18:02,770
The healing begins now.
495
00:18:02,810 --> 00:18:04,430
That's a beautiful dream.
496
00:18:04,460 --> 00:18:05,710
Oh, man! I just wish
497
00:18:05,740 --> 00:18:07,740
everybody could
be as happy as I am.
498
00:18:07,770 --> 00:18:08,640
Mr. Pool?
499
00:18:08,670 --> 00:18:10,670
Hmm?
500
00:18:10,710 --> 00:18:12,670
Just enjoy the next 40 minutes.
501
00:18:12,710 --> 00:18:14,150
Of course, it's
time for science.
502
00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:17,790
Aerobic respiration is correct.
503
00:18:17,810 --> 00:18:19,080
Well done, Timmy.
504
00:18:19,120 --> 00:18:21,710
Here you go
505
00:18:21,740 --> 00:18:23,150
and remember, everyone
506
00:18:23,190 --> 00:18:24,790
you should learn for
the sake of learning
507
00:18:24,810 --> 00:18:26,260
and not just for gold.
508
00:18:26,290 --> 00:18:27,810
Well, that's my
last lump for now.
509
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:30,120
I'll make more up tonight.
510
00:18:30,150 --> 00:18:33,020
Pool, you've got
it wired up here.
511
00:18:35,460 --> 00:18:37,670
No... no!
512
00:18:37,710 --> 00:18:38,840
It's gone!
513
00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:40,190
I lost it!
514
00:18:40,220 --> 00:18:42,150
I never wrote it down!
515
00:18:42,190 --> 00:18:44,600
Oh, this is a terrible thing!
516
00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:46,530
[ Sobbing]
517
00:18:46,570 --> 00:18:49,050
Hi, Sabrina.
518
00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:50,120
You look bummed.
519
00:18:50,150 --> 00:18:51,260
Like everyone else.
520
00:18:51,290 --> 00:18:52,640
I'm not. I made my peace
521
00:18:52,670 --> 00:18:54,330
with the universal meatloaf.
522
00:18:54,360 --> 00:18:54,710
Really?
523
00:18:54,740 --> 00:18:56,190
Yeah. Watch.
524
00:18:56,220 --> 00:18:59,080
Can I have your attention?
525
00:18:59,120 --> 00:19:00,820
I just wanted to say
that I ran for president
526
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:02,330
because I thought the job
527
00:19:02,360 --> 00:19:05,220
was about more than
dances and lunch food.
528
00:19:05,260 --> 00:19:06,400
I was wrong
529
00:19:06,430 --> 00:19:08,810
so I think you'll be
better off with Libby.
530
00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:12,260
[ Applause]
531
00:19:12,290 --> 00:19:13,810
I'm in control?
532
00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:15,530
Yes!
533
00:19:15,570 --> 00:19:21,050
And I am one step
closer to the white house.
534
00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:21,840
Nice speech.
535
00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:23,460
So you're happy?
536
00:19:23,500 --> 00:19:24,220
Very.
537
00:19:24,260 --> 00:19:25,530
I'd rather be jaded than naive.
538
00:19:25,570 --> 00:19:26,740
Who wouldn't?
539
00:19:26,770 --> 00:19:28,600
Hey, Sabrina, you know how
540
00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:30,570
you were feeling
sorry for me yesterday?
541
00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:33,400
You mean in that blameless,
third-party sort of way?
542
00:19:33,430 --> 00:19:35,150
You should know that
since I've been injured
543
00:19:35,190 --> 00:19:37,080
I've been having a lot of fun.
544
00:19:37,120 --> 00:19:39,050
I'm reading more,
I'm writing more.
545
00:19:39,080 --> 00:19:39,770
I even think
546
00:19:39,810 --> 00:19:41,500
my grades are going to improve.
547
00:19:41,530 --> 00:19:43,650
Wow, so the sitting around
thing is really working for you?
548
00:19:43,670 --> 00:19:46,600
Yeah. I'm super-happy
not playing football.
549
00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:48,400
Just don't tell my dad.
550
00:19:48,430 --> 00:19:49,570
Okay.
551
00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:51,710
"A" equals "a."
552
00:19:51,740 --> 00:19:53,400
Of course "a" equals
"a." It's obvious.
553
00:19:53,430 --> 00:19:55,500
It doesn't need to be stated.
554
00:19:55,530 --> 00:19:56,430
Mr. Pool?
555
00:19:56,460 --> 00:19:57,220
What?!
556
00:19:57,260 --> 00:19:58,360
Oh, it's you.
557
00:19:58,400 --> 00:19:59,290
Do you have a minute?
558
00:19:59,330 --> 00:20:00,150
Yes...
559
00:20:00,190 --> 00:20:01,020
A lifetime of them
560
00:20:01,050 --> 00:20:03,810
and now, they're
going by very slowly.
561
00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:04,810
I was just thinking
562
00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:07,290
that Jenny's happier
not being class president
563
00:20:07,330 --> 00:20:09,230
and Harvey's happier not
starting on the football team
564
00:20:09,260 --> 00:20:11,080
and, well, it made
me think that maybe
565
00:20:11,120 --> 00:20:13,050
you'll be happier
not being rich.
566
00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:15,050
Hmm... happier not being rich.
567
00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:17,710
Are you nuts?!
568
00:20:17,740 --> 00:20:19,810
Being rich is everything
I ever dreamed of
569
00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:23,360
and now it's
gone, it's all gone.
570
00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:24,190
[ Sighing]
571
00:20:24,220 --> 00:20:26,120
Not again.
572
00:20:26,150 --> 00:20:27,710
Sabrina, could you help me?
573
00:20:27,740 --> 00:20:30,080
Sorry, Mr. Pool.
574
00:20:30,120 --> 00:20:32,120
I'm not supposed to help anyone
575
00:20:32,150 --> 00:20:33,190
but...
576
00:20:33,220 --> 00:20:36,330
I guess one last
time won't hurt.
577
00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:39,710
Oh, why couldn't
somebody just destroy me?
578
00:20:39,740 --> 00:20:42,460
It can't be that bad,
and I have a feeling
579
00:20:42,500 --> 00:20:44,290
things will get better real soon
580
00:20:44,330 --> 00:20:46,220
and who knows? Maybe you'll find
581
00:20:46,260 --> 00:20:47,500
a new briefcase.
582
00:20:47,530 --> 00:20:48,530
Yeah, right.
583
00:21:07,150 --> 00:21:08,290
[ Whistling]
584
00:21:11,260 --> 00:21:13,080
Steve! Uh, sir?
585
00:21:13,120 --> 00:21:13,770
What is it, pool?
586
00:21:13,810 --> 00:21:16,500
I was wondering if I came by
587
00:21:16,530 --> 00:21:18,810
on Saturday, maybe I could...
588
00:21:18,840 --> 00:21:20,840
Wash your car?
589
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:24,840
So... Mr. Rockefeller
wants to wash my car.
590
00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:25,960
You know, the only problem is
591
00:21:25,980 --> 00:21:28,080
I found a 15-year-old to
do it two bucks cheaper.
592
00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:29,150
I can beat that!
593
00:21:29,190 --> 00:21:30,820
I'm having a "back in
the same old rut" special.
594
00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:32,640
[ Clears throat]
595
00:21:32,670 --> 00:21:33,950
I guess I'll see you Saturday.
596
00:21:33,980 --> 00:21:39,050
Uh great... and uh, by the
way that's a beautiful briefcase!
40201
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