Original subtitles

Woman: Just let me check.

Her 16th birthday started five minutes ago.

Oh, look, hilda.

She's levitating.

Right on schedule.

Let's tell her she's a witch.

No. Let her sleep.

She starts a new school tomorrow.

Besides, the first levitation is so special.

Yeah, then it gets old real quick.

I can't believe our little niece is growing up.

Wait till Sabrina finds out

what new doors this will open for her.

Wait till she finds out you still get zits

when you're 600.

Well, we'd better go before she wakes up.

So sweet...

So innocent.

Just the perfect little witch.

This is not me.

Morning.

Good morning. Happy birthday, Sabrina.

And many more to come.

Many, many more to come.

I got you a little something.

Actually

that's from both of us.

I just forgot to sign the card.

Hope you don't already have one.

A black pot.

Actually, I don't.

Thanks.

It's a cauldron.

Wow.

Even better. I can put my pens in it.

That's not what it's for.

Sabrina, we have something to tell you.

You see, there are

two realms... the natural and the supernatural

and it turns out that the immutable laws of physics...

You're a witch.

What do you mean I'm a witch?

You're a witch.

Now you're not alone.

I'm a witch. Hilda's a witch.

Your father's a witch.

And I suppose my mom's a witch too?

I always thought so.

Actually your mom's mortal.

That's why you're here...

So that we can teach you to use your magic.

You know, for a second there

you almost made me forget

about my first day of school. Thanks.

But... now I've got to go catch a bus

to take me to my doom.

Bye-bye. Have fun.

And don't make too many hand gestures.

My aunts try hard

but you have to admit...

They're pretty weird.

You have no idea.

Summer's over.

Come on in.

I'm Mr. Pool.

[ Clearing throat]

And I know you were hoping

I was going to spend the day

mispronouncing your names.

But instead let's just jump right into biology.

The frog is a cold-blooded vertebrate.

As we dissect this amphibian

we'll be looking

for the kidneys

the heart... and my lost youth.

So if you'll each choose up a lab partner...

Or I could pair you off by height.

Thank you.

Hey, you want to...

Harvey...

I'll be your lab partner.

Girl: Let's name him tad.

Tad pole.

Okay.

Hey, thanks for asking me to be your lab partner.

I know what it's like.

I was the new kid last year.

Can I ask you a question?

Do you ever feel like you don't fit in?

Only all the time

but I don't want to fit it.

I've researched it

and awkward people

tend to be much more successful later in life.

I look at Libby, I see tragedy.

Oh. Look, girls, you've bored your frog to death.

Well, slice and dice.

Oh, I hate doing this.

If only there was someway I could bring

these frogs back to life.

I think his heart is somewhere around...

Here.

Look, tad's alive.

How did that happen?

It's franken-frog.

Mr. Pool, ours is still kicking.

Mike from cadaver shack's going to hear from me.

Can you believe how young the freshmen look?

May we help you?

I just wanted to wash my hands.

You know, frog juice.

You know...

If you stink

I'm not sure it's fair to blame the frog.

Well, at least I don't splash on aftershave

to remind me of some boy who dumped me last summer.

How did

you know that?

I don't know.

My incredible sense of smell told me?

Yeah, right.

I better get going.

Smell you later.

Wait.

Don't come in here again.

From now on

you use the freaks' bathroom.

[ Gasps]

Ah!

Sabrina: Hi.

I'm home.

Where is everyone?

Surprise! Surprise!

Oh, look, a party.

Sort of.

Oh, look, you put Salem in a little party hat.

That's so cute.

Here is a present from your father.

An old book, a black pot...

Doesn't anyone shop at the gap anymore?

"The discovery of magic."

Why did he give me this?

That's why.

This old magician looks just like my dad.

Surprise.

It is your dad.

Happy birthday, Sabrina.

Wow, hallmark has gone really high tech.

Can he say anything else?

I'm not a hologram, honey.

I'm just in a different realm.

A different realm?

I thought you were at the Toronto midway motor lodge.

Zelda, hilda, didn't you explain to her she's a witch?

She doesn't believe us.

Not this again.

Look, I know you went to a lot of trouble to set this joke up

so... ha! Ha! Ha!

Now it's over.

No, it's just beginning.

You are a witch.

With real magical powers.

And now that you're 16

you can use them.

And you wanted something from the gap.

So, what are you saying, that I'm not who I think I am?

You're not who I think you are?

And my father lives in a book?

Finally, she gets it.

This is insane.

I'm going to my room. Come on, Salem.

Can you wait till I finish my milk?

Did the cat just talk?

Yes.

And get this stupid hat off my head.

Oh, my god!

I think we better let her father handle this.

Ted...

[ Screams]

Sabrina, open me up.

No.

We have to talk.

You young lady, open me this instant!

No, I don't want to talk to a book.

Oh, god, I'm talking to a book.

I can't be a witch.

Witches don't exist.

Honey, I know this is hard

but you just have to accept it.

You're not like other kids.

You're special.

I don't want to be special.

I want to be normal.

I understand, but that ship has sailed.

Now this makes sense

all these years I thought you were traveling

with the foreign service.

I am. It's just a lot more foreign than you thought.

And mom?

Has she really been digging for fossils in Peru?

Yes, she is.

Then I want to go live with her.

You can't. You see, there's a rule.

If you set eyes on your mother in the next two years

she'll turn into a ball of wax.

What?

It's the way

they discourage mortal-witch marriages.

So is that the reason why you and mom got divorced?

No.

So, do you think maybe

you can get back together?

No.

That's another ship that's sailed.

You're going

to be fine.

Just take some time and think about all this.

And if you ever need me...

I'm in the index.

I call. Five aces.

You cheat.

Do not.

Do too.

Okay, I've talked to my dad, and I've thought about it.

And I guess I believe I'm a witch.

Good, 'cause you are.

Hey, you know what?

Let's try some magic.

Sabrina, you stand right there.

Hilda, you stay there.

All right, let's start with the basics.

Orange into apple.

Now, you concentrate and point.

Come on, try it.

Apple... pineapple.

That's very close.

No, it's not.

Try again.

I'm not very good at this.

You told me the 23rd time is the charm.

You'll learn to control your magic.

At the very least

you'll always be able to garnish a ham steak.

One more try.

Salem into apple.

I think that's enough for one night.

The cat's right.

Wrap it up.

You've got school tomorrow.

I'm a witch and I still have to go to school?

Mm-hmm.

Unfair! Hey, maybe I'll turn Mr. Pool into...

Now, be careful.

Pointing your finger at people, it could be dangerous.

You're pointing at me.

I have the safety on.

[ Alarm sounds]

Good morning.

Morning.

Pineapple?

You're going to be late.

So, I'm a witch.

Can't I just turn back time?

Uh-uh. A witch can't change time.

That's one of the rules.

You're kidding?

Nope.

Got to go.

You also can't get rid of cellulite.

I got a joke.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Brad.

Brad who?

Brad Pitt.

Is there any other Brad worth mentioning?

Thank you for coming.

Did you enjoy that pop quiz?

I am so bad at history.

Me too.

How are we supposed to remember things

that happened so long ago?

Boy: Heads up!

Watch it with the football.

Are you okay?

Try to live in this world, not just your own.

Freak.

Can I sit here?

Sure.

How's your head?

Um, it kind of hurts.

Sorry.

I didn't mean to hit you with the football.

Oh, that was you?

You have a really good arm.

Thanks.

Oh, do you know Jenny?

You live in the house with the funny mailbox, right?

It's not our fault.

The people who lived there before us

were actually named Mr. and Mrs. Hogg.

No, it's cute.

My mailbox is boring.

It's really just a place to put letters.

Mine too.

Hi, Harvey. I'm having a party

Saturday night.

You'll be there, right?

Sure. I'm not doing anything else.

Perfect.

Everyone cool is coming.

Well, that's all.

Oh, no.

Smell you later.

You did that on purpose.

Prove it.

Don't walk away.

I mean it, I'm not done talking with you!

You! You! You!

Where did Libby go?

I have no idea.

Goodie, there's a lecture at m.I.T.

On the Heisenberg uncertainty principle.

It's either at 8:00 or at 10:00.

[ Door slams]

I hate being a witch!

I just turned the most popular girl in school

into a pineapple!

Why?

Because, it's the only thing I know.

Chill.

I can fix this.

Chunks or rings?

Hilda... there are other ways.

Wedges?

Sabrina doesn't know how to seal her spells yet

so...

The popular girl is not a fruit.

There.

All better.

What am I doing in your house?

You... came over for a visit.

I would not.

You did something to me.

You sent me somewhere.

It was small and it smelled like Hawaii.

Look, Libby, I'm sorry...

Not as sorry as you will be.

You're an even bigger freak than I thought

and the whole school's going

to know about it.

See, my way, she'd be on a toothpick.

It's over.

My life is over.

I mean, it's not just over... It's over-over!

Oh, stop...

Libby can't hurt you.

She's just one person with a crazy story.

She's a cheerleader.

Nobody has more credibility.

The only way to make this better would be to turn back time

and you said a witch can't do that.

Awitch can't

but collectively, we do have powers

that a single witch doesn't.

It's a union thing.

So it's possible?

You can appeal to the witches' council

but they only Grant time reversal

in extreme cases.

Like for two months

a bunny ruled all of england.

When?

See?

Well, how do I get

to this witches' council?

It's ten million light-years away.

But there's a shortcut through our linen closet.

Now, the head of the council is named drell.

He's a mean, pig-headed, power-mad despot.

We used to date.

I haven't seen him in centuries.

Not since he left her at the alter.

Daddy lost a huge deposit on the Parthenon.

Would you let that go?

It's ancient history.

I knew drell was bad news. I didn't even want that big wedding...

Excuse me! I'm trying to turn back time here.

Can we go?

Oh, no, I couldn't.

I swore I would never talk to drell again

as long as he lived.

Besides, the council will respect you more

if you go alone.

Now, make a left at the towels

and follow the signs.

And watch out for drell.

And whatever you do

don't stare at his mole.

Oh... sorry, is this the witches' council?

Yes... don't believe you have an appointment.

Drell, did you remember to feed the candle?

There. Happy?

Uh, I know I don't have an appointment

but I, um... Brought a washcloth.

Okay, uh, state your name,

age and request.

We'll see if we can fit you in.

I'm Sabrina, 16, I'd like to turn back time.

Denied!

Well, we fit you in.

Next order of business.

Are you staring at my mole?

No. I just didn't get a chance

to explain why I wanted to turn back time.

Let's humor her.

Okay... speak!

But quickly.

Where do I start?

Well, from the moment I started my new school

I didn't fit in.

I wore the wrong shoes

which may seem like nothing

but kids can be so judgmental...

I said quickly.

[ Unnaturally fast]: By the time I got to the cafeteria, Libby spilled grape soda on me

I was already a bit tense. That's why I turned her into a pineapple.

It wasn't my fault. You don't know this girl.

She's not a witch

but she has the power to turn the whole school against me

and frankly, life is hard enough

knowing you really are a freak without everyone else knowing it, too.

Oh, the problems of teenagers

are sointeresting.

We'll review your case

and get back to you.

But I need to know.

And you will!

Now go! And don't let

the time-space continuum

hit you on the way out.

You love me, don't you, huh, moley?

Sabrina: Salem

do you think they'll Grant the time reversal?

I'm the wrong witch to ask.

They weren't very lenient with me.

Sentenced to 100 years as a cat...

And for what?

I don't know. For what?

Oh, like any young kid

I dreamed of world domination.

'Course, they really crack down

when you act upon it.

Wow. No wonder you're so possessive of the sofa.

Mmm... it would have been glorious.

Meas the firm but just emperor of earth.

Trust me... being a house pet wasn't even plan "b."

Come on, it's not that bad.

You take 5,000 naps a day.

I can't go dancing.

I can't play squash.

The sound of the can opener is the only thing

that makes me feel truly alive.

Salem?

Would you like your rubber mouse?

Please.

Any word from the witches' council?

Not yet, and if i'm going to school.

I have to leave any second.

That's it.

That's it?

Careful, don't burn your fingers.

Please-please-please...

Request denied!

[ Sighs]

I'm sorry, honey.

It's okay.

So, where are we moving?

I hear Greenland's a groove.

Get your books... You're going to be late.

You don't understand.

Aunt hilda, I'm not going to school.

Oh, yes, you are. You can do this.

You can't go through life being afraid of things.

Toughen up.

But everyone'll laugh at me.

Toughen up.

So that's my choice?

Toughen up or toughen up?

Aunt Zelda, will you help me?

Oh, you know I hate to say it

but aunt hilda's right.

I mean, who cares what the other kids say?

Actually... Libby thought I was a freak

even before this happened.

See? See?

Fine. I surrender.

I guess every school needs a weird kid.

Might as well be me.

I was the weird kid.

They don't tar and feather anymore, do they?

I hated that.

You know who's fault this is?

That jerk, drell's.

Just a thought, but I bet you

could convince him to change his mind.

Me?

I don't think so.

Besides, Sabrina's going to be fine.

Yes, she'll be ostracized and reviled

but... she'll get over it.

The wounds will heal.

The scars will fade.

You know I can't face drell!

Toughen up.

It's payback time, drell.

I'm coming in!

Drell: Hilda, what are you doing here?

Get your hands off my mole!

Hey... I got a joke.

Knock-knock.

Who's there?

Brad.

Brad Pitt? You told me that yesterday.

No, I didn't.

I just heard it on the bus.

Really?

Excellent work, Sabrina.

I cannot believe you aced the pop quiz.

What can I say? I just love history.

Man: Heads up!

All right! Nice catch.

[ Applause]

Can I sit here?

Sure.

That was a great catch.

I was in the zone.

Do you know Jenny?

You live in the house with the funny mailbox, right?

Before we get into that...

If you're not doing anything Saturday night, would you like to see a movie

with Jenny and me?

Sure, that sounds like fun.

Cool.cool.

So, you were saying about mailboxes?

Hi, Harvey.

I'm having a party Saturday night.

You'll be there, right?

Sorry, I just made plans.

Bubbleburst.

And I bet you wanted everyone cool to come.

[ Screams]

I love being a witch!

I don't know what made the council change their minds

but I got to do the whole day over again!

And now the teachers think I'm smart

the jocks think I'm cool

oh, and I'm going to the movies

with Harvey and Jenny Saturday night.

Woo-hoo! I'm normal!

Got to go tell the cat.

Teens...

What about them?

Just in general.

Salem, I don't play squash

but how about a dance?

And once I controlled eurasia I was going to advance...

Oh, Salem, can you hold that thought

I'll be right back, I've got to go get some more milk.

Stay where you are. You're a witch.

Look under the m's.

Wow, magic milk!

Cool, it worked! Hey, I could get used to this magic.

Hey, share!