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Richard, he's parked over there.
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>> [laughter]
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>> WHY SHOULD I WATCH a stationary lorry
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parked on the other side of a dual
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carriageway?
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>> I don't think I like your tone, Richard.
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>> [laughter]
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>> Changing tone.
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Stop.
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Now, what's wrong?
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>> good. I can't go blithely off into the
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country. I must visit Daddy.
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I don't think I've ever seen your sister
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Daisy's house. Have I ever has it No.
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No, I don't I don't believe we have.
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Is it a nice house?
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Well, you'd I'd really rather we were
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going to my sister Violet's. You
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remember Violet? She married that turf
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accountant. He built that big house with
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a sauna and room for a pony. You haven't
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spoken of Violet. Frequently.
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You'd like Violet.
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Maybe I like Daisy's.
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Well, possibly you may. You
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You well may.
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What kind [laughter] of a house is
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Daisy's? Actually, but
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it's uh quite like one of these.
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>> [laughter]
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>> Yes.
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In fact, it's very like one of these.
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>> [laughter]
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>> Come to think of it, it is ONE OF THESE.
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YES, HERE IT IS.
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NOW, YOU STAY THERE, ELIZABETH, and
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don't move. All right.
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I won't invite you in in case Daddy's
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contracted something unsightly.
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My regards to Daisy. Hm?
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Oh, I will. Yes.
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Yes, thank you.
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I will.
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>> [laughter]
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[laughter]
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[laughter]
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[laughter]
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[laughter]
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[laughter]
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[laughter]
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[laughter]
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[laughter]
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[laughter]
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[laughter]
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[laughter]
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[laughter]
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[laughter]
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[laughter]
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[laughter]
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[laughter]
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[laughter]
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[laughter]
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>> What's going on?
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>> Nothing.
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She's just sitting there without moving.
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For a moment I thought it was Onslow.
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>> [laughter]
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>> It's remarks like that that help to cool
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the first furious fires of our marriage.
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>> Now, don't start arguing. What's Daddy
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doing?
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He's still asleep.
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>> There's the answer.
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She forced herself on him while he was
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still asleep.
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>> [laughter]
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>> I am the colonel's daughter. I have been
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consulted in this matter, and it has
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been decided that you can't stay here.
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>> He offered me marriage.
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>> Daddy has not been well.
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>> I've got witnesses.
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>> Daddy is sometimes not altogether
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logical.
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>> He offered me marriage.
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>> Look, you cannot take advantage of an
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ailing old man.
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>> He took ADVANTAGE OF ME.
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>> [laughter]
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>> NEVER MIND.
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>> [laughter]
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>> I GOT WITNESSES.
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>> I think you must have misunderstood him.
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>> Oh, I understood him.
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He offered me marriage.
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>> [laughter]
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>> Haven't you got a home to go to?
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>> Certainly.
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It's here.
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>> We're going to need a bigger teapot.
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>> You'll need nothing of Of kind.
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>> [laughter]
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>> This lady is going
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>> I can't just leave him. I mean, what
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kind of basis is that for a marriage?
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>> He'll probably have forgotten all about
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you when he wakes up. He'll want to play
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with his trains.
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>> Trains?
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>> [laughter]
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>> Oh, I love trains. I can play with
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trains.
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>> [laughter]
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>> What about your family? Won't they be
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missing you?
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>> I've only got a son.
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>> A son?
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I have a son, too.
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You can't desert him. They need us.
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>> He's 45 YEARS OLD.
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>> [laughter]
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>> A VERY TRICKY AGE.
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>> HAVE YOU TOLD Onslow yet?
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>> Twice.
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>> What did you say?
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>> I don't think he was listening.
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>> Are you going to tell him?
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>> I'm going to tell him.
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>> Come on then.
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In you come. Come on. Go on.
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He's coming.
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COME ON.
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>> [laughter]
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>> SHUT UP, YOU.
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COME ON THEN.
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COME ON.
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>> YOU'RE RIGHT ON Monday and uh wearing
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another hat, Michael Allan. Accept your
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check for 1,300 pounds from Boland
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Caruthers. And I have two
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former stable employees, Alan and Reese,
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stable lads for you.
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>> Onslow?
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>> Mhm.
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>> I've got something to tell you, Onslow.
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>> Hang on then, Nellie. Off.
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>> I'm in love, Onslow, with a 17-year-old.
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>> You've got a good chance this. I've got
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two QUID ON ME.
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>> ONSLOW, I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU, YOUR
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WIFE is in love with a 17-year-old.
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>> That's disgusting, that is.
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>> [laughter]
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>> Interrupting a BLOKE'S PRIMETIME
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VIEWING.
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ANYBODY WE KNOW?
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>> [laughter]
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>> I thought he belonged to Rose.
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>> He did, but they found they weren't
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compatible.
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Oh, he's nice enough. We just weren't
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compatible.
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>> How old is he?
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>> 17.
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>> Is he old enough to smoke?
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Oh. Ta.
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Keep it quiet.
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Oh, cheers.
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Do you think YOU CAN KEEP HIM INTERESTED
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TILL he's old ENOUGH TO DRINK?
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OH, NO. LOOK, I'VE MISSED it now. BUT
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WHY DON'T YOU JUST BUG OFF AND LET ME
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WATCH THE REPLAY?
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>> Have you told Onslow yet?
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>> Twice.
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>> What did he say?
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>> I don't think he was listening.
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>> Are you going to tell him?
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>> I'm going to tell him.
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Come on then.
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In you come. Come on. Come on.
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Come in.
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Come on.
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Speak up.
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>> OH, SHUT UP, DUKE.
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>> COME ON. BE QUIET. COME ON THEN.
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COME ON.
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>> YOU DRIVE on Monday and wearing another
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hat, Michael Allen, accepted a check for
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1,300 pounds from Paul and Carol
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Elliott, two former stable employees, in
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aid of the stable at Brook Park.
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>> Onslow.
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>> Hm?
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>> I've got something to tell you, Onslow.
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>> Hang on. They're nearly off.
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>> I'm in love, Onslow, with a 17-year-old.
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>> It's got a good chance, this. I've got
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two QUID ON IT.
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>> [laughter]
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>> ONSLOW, I'm trying TO TELL YOU YOUR WIFE
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is in love with a 17-year-old.
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>> That's disgusting, that is.
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Interrupting a bloke's prime time
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viewing.
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>> [laughter]
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>> Anybody we know?
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I thought he belonged to Rose.
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>> He did, but they found they weren't
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compatible.
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Oh, he's nice enough. We just weren't
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compatible.
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>> How old is he?
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>> 17.
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>> Is he old enough to smoke?
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Oh, ta.
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Keep tight.
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Oh, cheers.
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Do you think YOU CAN KEEP HIM INTERESTED
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till he's old ENOUGH TO DRINK?
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OH, NO. LOOK, I'VE MISSED it now. BUT,
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WHY DON'T YOU JUST BUG OFF AND LET ME
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WATCH THE REPLAY?
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>> OH, DEAR. I forgot the sausage rolls.
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Hyacinth!
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>> [laughter]
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>> Well, there should be somebody here.
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There's food on the table.
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Of a rather unimaginative variety, it
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must be said.
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I think it needs a smidgen of my OWN
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CUISINE.
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RICHARD, BRING MY ACCOUTREMENTS THROUGH,
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will you, dear?
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Well, this will be the principal buffet
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table.
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>> Well, I must be getting on, Mrs. Bucket.
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>> [laughter]
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>> Okay.
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>> I'll catch you later, Vicar, and fill in
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on Sheridan's progress at university.
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>> Huh.
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Good.
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>> He's doing brilliantly well, you know.
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>> Ah.
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>> His tutors all forecast astonishing
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things for him.
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>> [laughter]
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>> Just put them down there, dear. They
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should be quite safe.
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Now, I better try and bring a little
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style and polish to this food. I shall
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need some extra people for the unskilled
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jobs. Receptive people who are willing
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to watch and learn. Elizabeth, come
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here, DEAR.
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WHILE RICHARD IS GUARDING MY CHINA, will
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you go and round me up a few willing
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helpers?
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>> Uh
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what if they won't come, Hyacinth?
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>> What do you mean won't come? Just tell
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them who it's for, dear.
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It hasn't worked.
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You don't know that.
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Well, look at him. Does he look jealous?
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>> Maybe he's hiding it.
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>> [cough]
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>> Doing [clears throat] a very good job.
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>> [laughter]
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>> Maybe he's in turmoil inside.
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>> Well, if he is, it's indigestion.
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>> Let's find out.
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Onslow, do you think you'll be able to
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cope now that Daisy's got a toy boy?
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>> I will.
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>> I think you'll be able to cope.
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I trust you've remembered your cruets,
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ladies.
280
00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:05,353
Oh, you do your letters like that, do
281
00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:06,080
you? Sort of LUMPY AND CAREFREE.
282
00:13:05,353 --> 00:13:08,200
>> [laughter]
283
00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:09,960
>> MY SHERIDAN prefers his arranged rather
284
00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:12,560
more symmetrically.
285
00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:15,160
But then he has such natural good taste.
286
00:13:12,560 --> 00:13:17,144
"My mommy," he used to boast, "designs
287
00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:17,960
the perfect salad."
288
00:13:17,144 --> 00:13:20,600
>> [laughter]
289
00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:22,440
>> A wicked boy, Sheridan.
290
00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:23,960
I used to protest, of course, covered
291
00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:27,960
with embarrassment, but that's how he
292
00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:30,360
was. So perceptive, even at that age.
293
00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:32,760
Yes, you need real skill to master cling
294
00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:35,560
film, don't you, dear?
295
00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:37,800
Oh, yes, he always had good taste, even
296
00:13:35,560 --> 00:13:39,720
as quite a small child. When other boys
297
00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:40,960
would come home from school looking as
298
00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:43,760
though they'd barely survived an
299
00:13:40,960 --> 00:13:45,720
explosion, my Sheridan would always have
300
00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:48,680
his tie on straight and the cleanest
301
00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:51,680
pair of knees in the civilized world.
302
00:13:48,680 --> 00:13:54,360
Oh, is that one of Mrs. Watson's cakes?
303
00:13:51,680 --> 00:13:57,600
Oh, yes, I can see it is now.
304
00:13:54,360 --> 00:14:00,240
She does try, my bless her. [laughter]
305
00:13:57,600 --> 00:14:02,840
That's one of Sheridan's favorite cakes,
306
00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:04,880
WHEN IT'S MADE PROPERLY.
307
00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:06,800
NOT THAT HE HAS A SWEET TOOTH, he's very
308
00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:09,080
self-disciplined.
309
00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:12,280
Oh, I remember his scoutmaster used to
310
00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:14,160
say that he'd never known anyone apply
311
00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:15,760
more grit and determination to the
312
00:14:14,160 --> 00:14:17,480
acquisition of his cook's badge than
313
00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:19,320
Sheridan.
314
00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:21,334
Oh, that's nice, dear.
315
00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:23,354
Whatever it is.
316
00:14:21,334 --> 00:14:23,354
>> [laughter]
317
00:14:31,680 --> 00:14:35,560
>> There's no reply from Reg.
318
00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:36,280
Don't think he's with somebody else,
319
00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:39,480
dear?
320
00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:42,040
>> Can you please forget men today, Rose?
321
00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:44,080
>> All day?
322
00:14:42,040 --> 00:14:45,600
All right, just for the christening.
323
00:14:44,080 --> 00:14:47,360
Done. I don't care if he is with
324
00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:49,040
somebody else.
325
00:14:47,360 --> 00:14:50,040
I wonder who she is, THE [ __ ]
326
00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:51,839
>> ROSE!
327
00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:55,280
>> SORRY, SORRY.
328
00:14:51,839 --> 00:14:55,280
Can I have the tea towel? Huh.
329
00:14:57,360 --> 00:15:00,400
>> [laughter]
330
00:14:58,920 --> 00:15:03,120
>> Well, um
331
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:03,120
I'm ready.
332
00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:07,080
Is Onslow up yet?
333
00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:09,680
>> I shouted him an hour ago.
334
00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:13,480
>> Ooh, that's cutting it fine. You know I
335
00:15:09,680 --> 00:15:16,040
need at least two. Onslow!
336
00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:19,040
>> Have you seen my clean shirt?
337
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:20,920
>> DAISY, WHERE'S ONSLOW'S CLEAN SHIRT?
338
00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:23,320
>> HOW AM I SUPPOSED to remember? HE NEVER
339
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:25,120
WEARS A SHIRT. How's she supposed to
340
00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:25,880
remember you never wear a shirt?
341
00:15:25,120 --> 00:15:27,880
>> I DO,
342
00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:30,760
ON FORMAL OCCASIONS.
343
00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:33,800
>> HE DOES, ON FORMAL OCCASIONS.
344
00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:37,040
HAVE YOU TRIED LOOKING IN THE WARDROBE?
345
00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:38,680
HAVE YOU TRIED LOOKING IN THE WARDROBE?
346
00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:40,280
>> I hope our lass isn't going to start
347
00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:43,210
having babies every year.
348
00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:45,230
>> YOU'RE NOT SURE YOUR LASS ISN'T
349
00:15:43,210 --> 00:15:45,230
>> [laughter]
350
00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:47,600
>> I HOPE THE GIRL ISN'T GOING TO MAKE A
351
00:15:46,760 --> 00:15:49,320
HABIT OF IT.
352
00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:52,800
>> Stop worrying.
353
00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:56,840
>> People always ask what the father does.
354
00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:56,840
You can't just tell them he gets away.
355
00:15:57,960 --> 00:16:01,600
Oh, that's better, dear.
356
00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:02,800
>> She's not a bad girl. I've always liked
357
00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:04,520
Stephanie.
358
00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:06,080
>> Oh, I don't know about this piece of
359
00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:07,640
jewelry.
360
00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:08,800
It'll have to do. I'm not wearing my
361
00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:10,520
best.
362
00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:12,560
There's some of Onslow's cronies about.
363
00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:14,040
I could be mugged.
364
00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:16,080
>> Just settle your mind, will you? You've
365
00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:17,240
got to make the best of things. At least
366
00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:18,480
they're bothering to have the little
367
00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:21,320
girl christened.
368
00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:21,320
>> Kylie.
369
00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:25,560
WHAT SORT OF A NAME IS Kylie for a
370
00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:29,400
Christian person?
371
00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:29,400
It sounds like A FOREIGN VEGETABLE.
372
00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:34,480
NOW, IF ON OUR WAY we meet anyone we
373
00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:36,400
know, I see no harm in telling them that
374
00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:38,720
we're going to a christening.
375
00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:39,920
But I see no need to be explicit about
376
00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:41,160
the details.
377
00:16:39,920 --> 00:16:44,080
>> Who am I going to tell?
378
00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:46,760
>> I'm just warning you. They needn't be
379
00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:48,680
told where the christening is.
380
00:16:46,760 --> 00:16:50,960
And they certainly needn't be told the
381
00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:54,680
exact circumstances.
382
00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:54,680
>> My lips are sealed.
383
00:16:57,226 --> 00:16:59,246
>> [crying]
384
00:17:03,121 --> 00:17:05,141
[laughter]
385
00:17:07,706 --> 00:17:09,726
[laughter]
386
00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:14,439
>> Right. Let's start cooking, mate.
387
00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:25,560
>> Pst.
388
00:17:23,439 --> 00:17:28,000
>> Which one is the father?
389
00:17:25,560 --> 00:17:28,000
>> I don't know.
390
00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:37,237
>> MUST BE THAT ONE.
391
00:17:35,217 --> 00:17:37,237
>> [laughter]
392
00:17:43,077 --> 00:17:45,097
[laughter]
393
00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:51,640
>> LET ME HAVE A GO.
394
00:17:50,937 --> 00:17:54,360
>> [laughter]
395
00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:54,360
>> WITH THE BAT.
396
00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:04,080
>> HE'S NOT FIDDLING WITH YOUR TIE, ONSLO.
397
00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:05,840
>> SORRY.
398
00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:08,480
Feel like the first Malahide family to
399
00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:08,480
be hanged.
400
00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:13,720
>> Here's our Violet.
401
00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:17,840
>> Hooky business still looks good.
402
00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:19,102
>> Well, it gets most of your money, FOR A
403
00:18:17,840 --> 00:18:21,122
START.
404
00:18:19,102 --> 00:18:21,122
>> [laughter]
405
00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:30,720
>> WHICH ONE OF YOU IS THE FATHER?
406
00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:32,960
>> I am.
407
00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:33,720
>> Me? I am.
408
00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:35,480
>> It's me.
409
00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:38,080
>> I asked her and she told
410
00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:41,320
>> They're arguing which one is the father.
411
00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:41,320
Which one is the father?
412
00:18:42,027 --> 00:18:44,047
>> [laughter]
413
00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:02,280
>> Did they tell you which one's the
414
00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:03,920
father?
415
00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:07,200
Never mind.
416
00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:07,200
It's time we were going.
417
00:19:08,883 --> 00:19:10,903
>> [laughter]
418
00:19:14,778 --> 00:19:16,798
[laughter]
419
00:19:20,018 --> 00:19:22,038
[laughter]
420
00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:34,800
>> EXHAUSTED.
421
00:19:31,760 --> 00:19:34,800
>> ABOUT TIME.
422
00:19:37,048 --> 00:19:39,068
>> [laughter]
423
00:19:50,803 --> 00:19:52,823
[laughter]
424
00:19:55,960 --> 00:20:01,200
>> I will not be filmed emerging from a
425
00:19:57,960 --> 00:20:01,200
hippie caravanette.
426
00:20:01,320 --> 00:20:05,120
>> What happened to your car?
427
00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:07,400
>> Richard wore it out.
428
00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:09,960
>> That's hardly fair.
429
00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:12,480
And it's a lovely baby.
430
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:14,960
Which one is the father?
431
00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:16,240
>> Let's go into the church, shall we?
432
00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:18,200
No dilly-dallying.
433
00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:19,720
>> Hardly dallying, Hyacinth. [crying]
434
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:22,160
>> go in first, we can hide BEHIND A
435
00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:22,160
PILLAR.
436
00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:31,360
ANSEL?
437
00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:34,960
>> What is it?
438
00:20:31,360 --> 00:20:37,800
>> It looks like a beautiful day.
439
00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:39,920
>> Oh, nice.
440
00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:43,480
>> Well, it is. Look at it. It's a
441
00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:43,480
beautiful day.
442
00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:50,464
>> Right. Got it. BEAUTIFUL DAY.
443
00:20:48,444 --> 00:20:50,464
>> [laughter]
444
00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:55,800
>> WE HARDLY HAVE ANY conversation these
445
00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:57,800
days.
446
00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:59,400
Even when we make love, you rarely speak
447
00:20:57,800 --> 00:21:01,160
to me.
448
00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:03,920
Especially when we make love, you rarely
449
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:03,920
speak to me.
450
00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:10,240
>> You think doing two things at once is a
451
00:21:06,760 --> 00:21:10,240
formula for success.
452
00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:15,480
>> It's just that at times like that
453
00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:19,120
a woman likes a little confirmation that
454
00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:22,040
there's actually somebody there.
455
00:21:19,120 --> 00:21:23,560
>> It's that memorable, is it?
456
00:21:22,040 --> 00:21:25,360
I'll tell you why I don't like chatting
457
00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:27,280
when I'm making love to you.
458
00:21:25,360 --> 00:21:29,000
Because the last time, right in the
459
00:21:27,280 --> 00:21:31,640
middle of things, you said to me,
460
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:33,639
"Onslow, if I'd have died in childbirth,
461
00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:35,659
would you HAVE MARRIED AGAIN?"
462
00:21:33,639 --> 00:21:35,659
>> [laughter]
463
00:21:36,120 --> 00:21:39,240
>> WELL, would you?
464
00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:41,960
>> Married again? I couldn't even finish
465
00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:43,560
making love.
466
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:46,000
YOU FORGET, [laughter] YOU WOMEN. IT'S
467
00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:48,680
NOT ALWAYS easy making love to people,
468
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:49,960
especially when you're married.
469
00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:52,240
And then you come up with a question
470
00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:55,255
like that.
471
00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:56,160
It amounts to overloading the system.
472
00:21:55,255 --> 00:21:58,680
>> [laughter]
473
00:21:56,160 --> 00:22:00,440
>> Are we going to get up?
474
00:21:58,680 --> 00:22:03,115
>> You don't have to go to pieces just
475
00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:05,135
because it's a beautiful day.
476
00:22:03,115 --> 00:22:05,135
>> [laughter]
477
00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:10,080
>> When you put something on, Rose, you'll
478
00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:11,520
be upsetting Onslow.
479
00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:13,160
>> No, she won't. Not this time of the
480
00:22:11,520 --> 00:22:15,440
morning.
481
00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:16,600
>> Dad's gone again. He left a note this
482
00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:18,680
time.
483
00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:21,160
Condition red, enemy aircraft
484
00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:24,075
approaching. Don't get up. I'll handle
485
00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:25,040
it. Have you seen my ration book, Dad?
486
00:22:24,075 --> 00:22:27,240
>> [laughter]
487
00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:30,840
>> Now we'll have to get up.
488
00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:30,840
>> I'll kill your father.
489
00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:38,280
>> Ah, there you are.
490
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:38,280
And almost on time.
491
00:22:38,485 --> 00:22:40,920
>> [laughter]
492
00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:43,200
>> Come in.
493
00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:43,200
COME IN.
494
00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:50,440
AND THERE'S SHERIDAN IN HIS SHEDDING IN
495
00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:52,240
HIS LITTLE sailor suit.
496
00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:53,160
>> Super.
497
00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:55,040
>> [laughter]
498
00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:56,400
>> And there he is dawdling on a donkey at
499
00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:58,680
Dawlish.
500
00:22:56,400 --> 00:23:00,680
Bless him, he was fearless.
501
00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:02,720
>> Then why is he crying?
502
00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:03,120
>> Uh well, uh
503
00:23:02,720 --> 00:23:04,720
>> [clears throat]
504
00:23:03,120 --> 00:23:06,650
>> because the donkey was carrying him away
505
00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:07,840
FROM HIS MOMMY.
506
00:23:06,650 --> 00:23:10,880
>> [laughter]
507
00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:12,720
>> WE WERE ALWAYS VERY CLOSE.
508
00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:13,240
Another cup of aromatic nut roasted
509
00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:14,511
special?
510
00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:15,600
>> No.
511
00:23:14,511 --> 00:23:17,880
>> [laughter]
512
00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:20,160
>> No, thank you. I'm fine.
513
00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:22,360
>> Elizabeth, oh, yours must be cold.
514
00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:24,120
>> No, no, no, thank you, Hyacinth. No, I'm
515
00:23:22,360 --> 00:23:26,000
I'm always a bit uneasy with your best
516
00:23:24,120 --> 00:23:27,760
china.
517
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:29,480
No, I'm quite happy with my biscuit.
518
00:23:27,760 --> 00:23:30,231
>> Good, but just watch the crumbs, WON'T
519
00:23:29,480 --> 00:23:32,251
YOU?
520
00:23:30,231 --> 00:23:32,251
>> [laughter]
521
00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:37,760
>> MY ROYAL DOULTON hand-painted periwinkle
522
00:23:35,600 --> 00:23:40,920
is not really my best china. It's just
523
00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:43,040
my everyday best. My really best best I
524
00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:45,440
shall keep for another time when you
525
00:23:43,040 --> 00:23:48,800
come for a more formal occasion.
526
00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:50,536
Perhaps a little musical soiree followed
527
00:23:48,800 --> 00:23:51,520
by a little candlelight supper.
528
00:23:50,536 --> 00:23:55,600
>> [laughter]
529
00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:55,600
>> NOW, I'VE GOT ANOTHER ALBUM SOMEWHERE.
530
00:23:56,431 --> 00:23:58,451
>> [laughter]
531
00:24:01,671 --> 00:24:03,691
[laughter]
532
00:24:05,360 --> 00:24:09,080
>> WELL, THANK YOU FOR the coffee and the
533
00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:09,880
tour through your albums, but we really
534
00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:11,496
have to be going.
535
00:24:09,880 --> 00:24:11,960
>> NO, YOU CAN'T GO NOW.
536
00:24:11,496 --> 00:24:14,680
>> [laughter]
537
00:24:11,960 --> 00:24:16,240
>> NOT NOW. NOT RIGHT NOW. Not until you've
538
00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:18,840
seen the other album.
539
00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:20,160
>> As loath as I am not to see another
540
00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:22,631
album, I really do think
541
00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:23,560
>> Excuse me, DON'T MOVE.
542
00:24:22,631 --> 00:24:26,360
>> [laughter]
543
00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:26,360
>> JUST SIT THERE.
544
00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:32,511
I'LL BE BACK.
545
00:24:30,491 --> 00:24:32,511
>> [laughter]
546
00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:35,320
>> WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T
547
00:24:37,041 --> 00:24:39,061
>> [laughter]
548
00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:43,120
>> OH, LET'S GO. I DON'T THINK I CAN FACE
549
00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:45,557
YET another album.
550
00:24:43,120 --> 00:24:46,280
>> No, she said don't move.
551
00:24:45,557 --> 00:24:50,797
>> [laughter]
552
00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:52,817
>> We can't exactly be under house arrest.
553
00:24:50,797 --> 00:24:52,817
>> [laughter]
554
00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:57,320
>> Can we?
555
00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:59,280
>> Just and Daddy immediately.
556
00:24:57,320 --> 00:25:00,960
>> I'm I'm you doing that for? Can I just
557
00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:04,280
make a phone call to Mr. Pickles, sir?
558
00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:07,120
>> No, Rose. Not to one of your gentleman
559
00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:08,600
friends on my white slimline telephone.
560
00:25:07,120 --> 00:25:10,080
Instrument through which I have to speak
561
00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:11,560
to Sheridan.
562
00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:13,040
Supposing they would have crossed lines
563
00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:15,032
and he picked up some residue of your
564
00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:15,240
conversation.
565
00:25:15,032 --> 00:25:17,920
>> [laughter]
566
00:25:15,240 --> 00:25:19,880
>> You must go and find Daddy now.
567
00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:22,160
>> We thought he might be here.
568
00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:24,120
>> Daddy would never come here looking for
569
00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:27,720
his ration book.
570
00:25:24,120 --> 00:25:32,440
Not in his long johns.
571
00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:32,440
Now just go and find him immediately.
572
00:25:32,560 --> 00:25:38,080
Will you get into the car, Onslow?
573
00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:39,520
No, Onslow.
574
00:25:38,080 --> 00:25:40,880
>> She could do with a drop of water for
575
00:25:39,520 --> 00:25:42,560
the radiator.
576
00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:43,852
>> The water here wouldn't be suitable for
577
00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:45,872
your KIND OF WATER.
578
00:25:43,852 --> 00:25:45,872
>> [laughter]
579
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:53,680
>> THAT'S IT. That sounds fine. Off you go,
580
00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:56,600
Onslow.
581
00:25:53,680 --> 00:26:00,640
>> But Hyacinth, supposing Daddy Goodbye,
582
00:25:56,600 --> 00:26:00,640
dear. Give me a ring if you find Daddy.
583
00:26:04,440 --> 00:26:07,760
Daddy [laughter]
584
00:26:05,760 --> 00:26:10,708
out there somewhere
585
00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:12,280
facing the might of the Luftwaffe.
586
00:26:10,708 --> 00:26:16,040
>> [laughter]
587
00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:17,440
>> Mrs. Fortescue must take my seat in the
588
00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:19,560
front.
589
00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:21,240
>> Yes, thank you. But I always prefer to
590
00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:23,808
be in the back with drivers I haven't
591
00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:25,000
traveled with before.
592
00:26:23,808 --> 00:26:27,800
>> [laughter]
593
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:27,800
>> Out of the way.
594
00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:37,618
>> Mind what you're doing, Richard.
595
00:26:35,598 --> 00:26:37,618
>> [laughter]
596
00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:42,803
>> She's lethal with that stick.
597
00:26:40,200 --> 00:26:44,823
>> Try to BE SOCIABLE, DEAR.
598
00:26:42,803 --> 00:26:44,823
>> [laughter]
599
00:26:48,280 --> 00:26:54,000
>> HOW ARE YOU KEEPING, MRS. FORTESCUE?
600
00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:56,720
>> BORED. Since they go with my license.
601
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:58,520
Interfering damn fools. I know what
602
00:26:56,720 --> 00:27:00,880
you're thinking.
603
00:26:58,520 --> 00:27:03,160
It wasn't drink and driving.
604
00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:05,760
>> I'm sure you wouldn't be thinking that,
605
00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:07,880
Mrs. Fortescue.
606
00:27:05,760 --> 00:27:09,003
>> What was it, Mrs. Fortescue?
607
00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:10,960
>> Speeding.
608
00:27:09,003 --> 00:27:12,680
>> [laughter]
609
00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:14,898
>> Surprised it wasn't grievous bodily
610
00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:16,918
harm.
611
00:27:14,898 --> 00:27:16,918
>> [laughter]
612
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:23,240
>> Watch the car at the curb, dear.
613
00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:24,800
>> I'm watching the car at the curb.
614
00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:25,960
>> And take the next left.
615
00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:27,440
>> Taking next left.
616
00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:29,200
>> No.
617
00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:30,920
Not left.
618
00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:32,680
Go straight on.
619
00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:34,200
>> Go straight on.
620
00:27:32,680 --> 00:27:36,640
>> I thought left might be a more
621
00:27:34,200 --> 00:27:40,160
attractive route, Mrs. Fortescue.
622
00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:41,754
>> Go straight on.
623
00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:43,774
GO STRAIGHT ON.
624
00:27:41,754 --> 00:27:43,774
>> [laughter]
625
00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:51,000
>> HOW FAST IS HE GOING?
626
00:27:48,360 --> 00:27:56,080
ONLY 28 miles an hour, Mrs. Fortescue.
627
00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:56,080
>> Good grief. Can't he put his club down?
628
00:27:57,040 --> 00:28:02,560
>> I'd love you to attend one of my
629
00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:04,360
candlelight suppers, Mrs. Fortescue.
630
00:28:02,560 --> 00:28:06,240
>> Candlelight what?
631
00:28:04,360 --> 00:28:08,609
>> Suppers.
632
00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:10,120
>> Have they cut off your electricity?
633
00:28:08,609 --> 00:28:12,160
>> [laughter]
634
00:28:10,120 --> 00:28:13,840
>> I think some dual lighting makes a
635
00:28:12,160 --> 00:28:16,360
statement, don't you?
636
00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:18,320
>> I like to see what I'm eating.
637
00:28:16,360 --> 00:28:19,089
I'm not deaf. I'm damned if I want to go
638
00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:19,744
blind.
639
00:28:19,089 --> 00:28:21,764
>> [clears throat]
640
00:28:19,744 --> 00:28:21,764
[laughter]
641
00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:29,480
>> Watch where you're driving, dear.
642
00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:29,480
And slow down.
643
00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:34,809
Why are we stopping?
644
00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:35,280
Don't slow down, Richard.
645
00:28:34,809 --> 00:28:37,240
>> [laughter]
646
00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:40,360
>> I think there's a learner driver trying
647
00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:40,360
to turn right.
648
00:28:47,909 --> 00:28:52,920
>> [laughter]
649
00:28:48,920 --> 00:28:52,920
>> ALL RIGHT, DIGBY. HOW'S IT GOING?
650
00:28:52,960 --> 00:28:55,960
>> WHO WAS THAT?
651
00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:57,840
>> Who was what?
652
00:28:55,960 --> 00:28:58,400
>> That man, your husband, was waving at
653
00:28:57,840 --> 00:29:00,680
us.
654
00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:03,400
>> He wasn't waving, Mrs. Fortescue. He was
655
00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:04,920
just signaling a turn.
656
00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:06,880
>> Much more of this and I think I'll have
657
00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:08,160
a turd.
658
00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:10,200
I have an idea.
659
00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:11,880
>> Didn't look like anyone I'd expect you
660
00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:14,000
to know.
661
00:29:11,880 --> 00:29:17,360
>> How very perceptive of you to recognize
662
00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:17,360
that, Mrs. Fortescue.
663
00:29:33,760 --> 00:29:35,780
>> [laughter]
664
00:29:40,965 --> 00:29:42,985
[laughter]
665
00:29:45,800 --> 00:29:50,800
>> Oh, no.
666
00:29:47,360 --> 00:29:50,800
Not Mrs. Bucket Finch.
667
00:29:52,320 --> 00:29:54,400
>> Get out.
668
00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:57,000
Get out of it.
669
00:29:54,400 --> 00:29:57,000
Get out of it.
670
00:30:01,270 --> 00:30:03,290
>> [laughter]
671
00:30:15,040 --> 00:30:18,120
>> At last.
672
00:30:24,040 --> 00:30:26,960
>> Clear off.
673
00:30:33,366 --> 00:30:35,386
>> [laughter]
674
00:30:49,741 --> 00:30:51,761
[laughter]
675
00:31:00,876 --> 00:31:02,896
[laughter]
676
00:31:32,316 --> 00:31:34,336
[laughter]
677
00:31:38,880 --> 00:31:41,400
>> WHAT'S GOING ON?
678
00:31:42,520 --> 00:31:45,920
DRIVE IT UP.
679
00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:49,560
TRY AND STOP.
680
00:31:45,920 --> 00:31:49,560
DRIVER, I WISH YOU A LIGHT.
681
00:31:52,920 --> 00:31:57,160
>> TELEPHONE HYACINTH.
682
00:31:55,320 --> 00:32:01,520
>> RICHARD,
683
00:31:57,160 --> 00:32:05,000
don't shout, dear. It's so common.
684
00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:05,000
>> Telephone Hyacinth.
685
00:32:06,240 --> 00:32:10,480
>> Is it my Sheridan?
686
00:32:08,040 --> 00:32:13,360
>> No, it's your sister, VIOLET.
687
00:32:10,480 --> 00:32:15,547
>> OH, MY SISTER, VIOLET, with the luxury
688
00:32:13,360 --> 00:32:17,160
bungalow and the swimming pool.
689
00:32:15,547 --> 00:32:18,280
>> [laughter]
690
00:32:17,160 --> 00:32:19,720
>> Richard,
691
00:32:18,280 --> 00:32:22,752
I have reason to believe that
692
00:32:19,720 --> 00:32:23,960
something's pooped in my polyanthus.
693
00:32:22,752 --> 00:32:25,600
>> [laughter]
694
00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:29,040
>> And how am I supposed to interpret that?
695
00:32:25,600 --> 00:32:32,160
Does she want it confirming or removing?
696
00:32:29,040 --> 00:32:32,160
I'd better ask.
697
00:32:42,402 --> 00:32:45,480
>> [laughter]
698
00:32:42,880 --> 00:32:47,280
>> I'm so glad you rang, Violet, because it
699
00:32:45,480 --> 00:32:49,120
saves me making a call to invite
700
00:32:47,280 --> 00:32:51,720
yourself and Bruce to a little candlelit
701
00:32:49,120 --> 00:32:54,360
supper this evening.
702
00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:56,840
Why can't you come?
703
00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:58,560
What do you mean you've nothing to wear?
704
00:32:56,840 --> 00:33:01,120
Violet, you've a wardrobe of beautiful
705
00:32:58,560 --> 00:33:03,362
clothes.
706
00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:05,040
BRUCE IS WEARING THEM.
707
00:33:03,362 --> 00:33:07,680
>> [laughter]
708
00:33:05,040 --> 00:33:10,320
>> WELL, HE CAN'T BE WEARING ALL OF THEM.
709
00:33:07,680 --> 00:33:12,400
I see, he's very possessive about them.
710
00:33:10,320 --> 00:33:14,440
Violet, really, you must be firmer with
711
00:33:12,400 --> 00:33:16,600
him, dear.
712
00:33:14,440 --> 00:33:20,720
I don't care how disappointed he'll be,
713
00:33:16,600 --> 00:33:20,720
you must not start calling HIM BRENDA.
714
00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:27,240
NOW, LOOK, TAKE A FIRM STAND. It's time
715
00:33:24,160 --> 00:33:28,908
you began wearing the trousers.
716
00:33:27,240 --> 00:33:30,280
Oh, you are wearing the trousers.
717
00:33:28,908 --> 00:33:33,160
>> [laughter]
718
00:33:30,280 --> 00:33:35,400
>> It's all you've got left.
719
00:33:33,160 --> 00:33:37,440
>> What's wrong?
720
00:33:35,400 --> 00:33:39,120
>> It's Bruce again. He's wearing all
721
00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:41,400
Violet's clothes.
722
00:33:39,120 --> 00:33:43,973
>> Oh, not that knitted two-piece. I can't
723
00:33:41,400 --> 00:33:45,200
bear him in that knitted two-piece.
724
00:33:43,973 --> 00:33:47,680
>> [laughter]
725
00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:48,640
>> Poor Violet, I know how she must hate
726
00:33:47,680 --> 00:33:50,080
it.
727
00:33:48,640 --> 00:33:52,960
Especially as he's started to look
728
00:33:50,080 --> 00:33:55,200
better THAN SHE DOES.
729
00:33:52,960 --> 00:33:56,760
COME ALONG IN, ELIZABETH.
730
00:33:55,200 --> 00:33:59,038
>> Thank you, Hyacinth.
731
00:33:56,760 --> 00:34:01,058
>> Wipe your feet, dear.
732
00:33:59,038 --> 00:34:01,058
>> [laughter]
733
00:34:02,480 --> 00:34:05,000
>> You really shouldn't have bothered to
734
00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:06,520
invite me for a coffee.
735
00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:09,440
>> Hyacinth, when you say busy
736
00:34:06,520 --> 00:34:10,560
>> Oh, I have everything under control,
737
00:34:09,440 --> 00:34:12,679
dear.
738
00:34:10,560 --> 00:34:14,440
A well-regulated household ought to be
739
00:34:12,679 --> 00:34:16,080
able to find time to make a cup of
740
00:34:14,440 --> 00:34:18,080
coffee for a neighbor.
741
00:34:16,080 --> 00:34:21,120
However glittering the occasion this
742
00:34:18,080 --> 00:34:23,000
evening. Do sit down, Elizabeth.
743
00:34:21,120 --> 00:34:24,583
No, not there, dear. I like to face the
744
00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:26,603
window.
745
00:34:24,583 --> 00:34:26,603
>> [laughter]
746
00:34:26,760 --> 00:34:29,000
>> Perhaps Emmet would like to pop in for a
747
00:34:28,360 --> 00:34:31,200
coffee.
748
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:32,040
>> Oh, no, thank you, Hyacinth. I think
749
00:34:31,200 --> 00:34:34,760
he's busy.
750
00:34:32,040 --> 00:34:36,600
>> Oh, well, that's nice. Keep his mind off
751
00:34:34,760 --> 00:34:39,360
his divorce.
752
00:34:36,600 --> 00:34:40,919
He mustn't feel that he's alone.
753
00:34:39,360 --> 00:34:43,120
>> I don't think he does, Hyacinth. Not
754
00:34:40,919 --> 00:34:45,240
since he met you.
755
00:34:43,120 --> 00:34:47,000
>> How very kind.
756
00:34:45,240 --> 00:34:48,919
Now,
757
00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:52,399
will you have my better china,
758
00:34:48,919 --> 00:34:54,714
Elizabeth, if you promise to be careful?
759
00:34:52,399 --> 00:34:56,734
Or a beaker?
760
00:34:54,714 --> 00:34:56,734
>> [laughter]
761
00:34:59,954 --> 00:35:03,800
[laughter]
762
00:35:00,640 --> 00:35:07,760
>> Beaker, Hyacinth. Definitely a beaker.
763
00:35:03,800 --> 00:35:07,760
I think perhaps that's wise, don't you?
764
00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:12,520
>> Who else is coming this evening? Anyone
765
00:35:10,640 --> 00:35:15,674
I know?
766
00:35:12,520 --> 00:35:17,640
Your sister Violet, perhaps?
767
00:35:15,674 --> 00:35:19,200
>> [laughter]
768
00:35:17,640 --> 00:35:20,800
>> The one with the swimming pool.
769
00:35:19,200 --> 00:35:22,520
>> Uh well, no, actually.
770
00:35:20,800 --> 00:35:26,080
>> Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
771
00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:27,640
>> Well, it can't be helped, you know.
772
00:35:26,080 --> 00:35:30,160
Bruce isn't at all well.
773
00:35:27,640 --> 00:35:32,120
>> Nothing serious, I hope.
774
00:35:30,160 --> 00:35:34,840
>> Well, I think he could just do with a
775
00:35:32,120 --> 00:35:34,840
change.
776
00:35:36,520 --> 00:35:39,309
>> That's probably THE TELEPHONE.
777
00:35:37,289 --> 00:35:39,309
[laughter]
778
00:35:39,400 --> 00:35:42,480
RICHARD WILL TAKE IT.
779
00:35:44,494 --> 00:35:46,514
>> [laughter]
780
00:35:46,640 --> 00:35:51,600
>> It might be Sheridan. He loves to ring
781
00:35:49,560 --> 00:35:53,560
me and tell me about his new friends.
782
00:35:51,600 --> 00:35:55,680
Milk?
783
00:35:53,560 --> 00:35:57,720
>> No, thank you.
784
00:35:55,680 --> 00:35:59,520
>> He's made some very, very nice new
785
00:35:57,720 --> 00:36:00,214
friends. Sugar?
786
00:35:59,520 --> 00:36:00,400
>> No, thank
787
00:36:00,214 --> 00:36:02,160
>> [laughter]
788
00:36:00,400 --> 00:36:03,960
>> you, Hyacinth.
789
00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:06,840
>> Nice friends are so important, aren't
790
00:36:03,960 --> 00:36:06,840
they? Biscuits?
791
00:36:09,080 --> 00:36:14,000
And I don't mean the hearty, sporting
792
00:36:11,240 --> 00:36:16,320
crowd, either. All Sheridan's friends
793
00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:17,840
are very artistic.
794
00:36:16,320 --> 00:36:19,840
>> Hello, Liz.
795
00:36:17,840 --> 00:36:20,320
Telephone, Hyacinth. Your sister Violet
796
00:36:19,840 --> 00:36:22,720
again.
797
00:36:20,320 --> 00:36:25,600
>> Oh, Violet. Yes, the one with the
798
00:36:22,720 --> 00:36:28,000
swimming pool and room for a pony.
799
00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:30,880
Perhaps Bruce is coming all.
800
00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:30,880
>> He is not.
801
00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:36,520
>> What is it now, Violet?
802
00:36:33,920 --> 00:36:37,550
No, I haven't a girdle that might fit
803
00:36:36,520 --> 00:36:39,280
Bruce.
804
00:36:37,550 --> 00:36:42,520
>> [laughter]
805
00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:42,520
>> Well, I don't think it's important.
806
00:36:44,880 --> 00:36:49,320
That looks good.
807
00:36:46,440 --> 00:36:51,305
I resent the idea that I'm the only one
808
00:36:49,320 --> 00:36:51,520
you know who has a girdle.
809
00:36:51,305 --> 00:36:54,400
>> [laughter]
810
00:36:51,520 --> 00:36:56,760
>> I would not pass my discontinued girdles
811
00:36:54,400 --> 00:36:58,160
onto Bruce.
812
00:36:56,760 --> 00:37:00,840
Well, if he's suddenly ashamed of his
813
00:36:58,160 --> 00:37:04,520
tummy, why doesn't he lose weight?
814
00:37:00,840 --> 00:37:05,680
Oh, why do you pamper him, Violet?
815
00:37:04,520 --> 00:37:07,025
I mean, apart from the money and the
816
00:37:05,680 --> 00:37:09,045
Mercedes.
817
00:37:07,025 --> 00:37:09,045
>> [laughter]
818
00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:32,360
>> I thought my husband would have been
819
00:37:30,680 --> 00:37:34,120
back by now.
820
00:37:32,360 --> 00:37:36,501
>> He's gone off to fetch his friend, the
821
00:37:34,120 --> 00:37:38,200
major.
822
00:37:36,501 --> 00:37:40,600
>> [laughter]
823
00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:43,051
>> They're golfing together, my husband and
824
00:37:40,600 --> 00:37:44,360
the major.
825
00:37:43,051 --> 00:37:46,480
>> [laughter]
826
00:37:44,360 --> 00:37:47,840
>> My husband allows himself occasional
827
00:37:46,480 --> 00:37:49,640
breaks from his enormous
828
00:37:47,840 --> 00:37:52,876
responsibilities with one of the larger
829
00:37:49,640 --> 00:37:53,800
local authorities.
830
00:37:52,876 --> 00:37:55,520
>> [laughter]
831
00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:57,240
>> NO, HE DOES GET A GREAT DEAL OF mental
832
00:37:55,520 --> 00:37:59,920
satisfaction from the knowledge that our
833
00:37:57,240 --> 00:38:01,391
son Sheridan is doing so well at
834
00:37:59,920 --> 00:38:02,480
university.
835
00:38:01,391 --> 00:38:04,400
>> [laughter]
836
00:38:02,480 --> 00:38:05,640
>> Have you been here long?
837
00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:08,720
>> Since yesterday.
838
00:38:05,640 --> 00:38:10,440
>> Oh, a long weekend. That's nice.
839
00:38:08,720 --> 00:38:12,360
>> It would have been, except for the
840
00:38:10,440 --> 00:38:14,600
noises from room 210.
841
00:38:12,360 --> 00:38:17,000
>> Oh my goodness, [laughter] yes.
842
00:38:14,600 --> 00:38:19,200
Room 210.
843
00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:20,800
We passed it just now.
844
00:38:19,200 --> 00:38:23,006
It's not what one expects from a
845
00:38:20,800 --> 00:38:23,840
four-star hotel.
846
00:38:23,006 --> 00:38:27,080
>> [laughter]
847
00:38:23,840 --> 00:38:29,320
>> If it continues, I shall complain.
848
00:38:27,080 --> 00:38:31,280
>> That won't be necessary. I understand
849
00:38:29,320 --> 00:38:33,840
the couple will be leaving this morning.
850
00:38:31,280 --> 00:38:35,080
>> Well, I should hope so.
851
00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:37,040
Noises like that can be very
852
00:38:35,080 --> 00:38:39,680
disconcerting for a considerate husband
853
00:38:37,040 --> 00:38:39,680
like mine.
854
00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:47,896
Mr. and Mrs. Smith, indeed. One wonders
855
00:38:45,640 --> 00:38:49,916
where these PEOPLE COME FROM.
856
00:38:47,896 --> 00:38:49,916
>> [laughter]
857
00:38:50,560 --> 00:38:53,160
>> OH, GIVE OVER.
858
00:38:51,880 --> 00:38:54,520
WILL YOU STOP IT?
859
00:38:53,160 --> 00:38:57,067
I'VE REALLY KNOWN ANYBODY QUITE AS
860
00:38:54,520 --> 00:38:58,800
MISCHIEVOUS AS YOU.
861
00:38:57,067 --> 00:39:02,120
>> [laughter]
862
00:38:58,800 --> 00:39:04,560
>> NOW, that's my Sheridan at 14 with his
863
00:39:02,120 --> 00:39:06,480
music diploma.
864
00:39:04,560 --> 00:39:07,560
And this is the house that we lived in
865
00:39:06,480 --> 00:39:09,400
then.
866
00:39:07,560 --> 00:39:13,200
Of course, we've moved to a much larger
867
00:39:09,400 --> 00:39:15,240
one now in a very exclusive area.
868
00:39:13,200 --> 00:39:16,840
RICHARD LOVES TO GARDEN, YOU KNOW. He
869
00:39:15,240 --> 00:39:18,680
loves to garden when he's not golfing
870
00:39:16,840 --> 00:39:20,800
with the major. Not that he only plays
871
00:39:18,680 --> 00:39:23,922
with majors, of course. After all, we're
872
00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:25,942
democratic to the core.
873
00:39:23,922 --> 00:39:25,942
>> [laughter]
874
00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:30,600
>> But then, naturally, one prefers one's
875
00:39:28,520 --> 00:39:32,760
own kind.
876
00:39:30,600 --> 00:39:36,320
Oh, here's my Sheridan shrimping with
877
00:39:32,760 --> 00:39:36,320
his daddy in 1979.
878
00:39:50,777 --> 00:39:52,797
>> [laughter]
879
00:39:54,960 --> 00:39:56,840
>> You're getting a little mixed up,
880
00:39:55,840 --> 00:39:59,200
darling.
881
00:39:56,840 --> 00:40:01,160
>> Anyway, Major, just
882
00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:04,040
take me away from here.
883
00:40:01,160 --> 00:40:04,040
>> That's the ticket.
884
00:40:15,012 --> 00:40:17,032
>> [laughter]
885
00:40:47,108 --> 00:40:49,128
[laughter]
886
00:40:52,360 --> 00:40:55,240
>> Alone at last.
887
00:40:54,313 --> 00:40:56,480
>> [laughter]
888
00:40:55,240 --> 00:40:58,480
>> How are you doing, Major?
889
00:40:56,480 --> 00:40:59,960
>> Devil in disguise.
890
00:40:58,480 --> 00:41:02,173
>> Now, Major.
891
00:40:59,960 --> 00:41:03,080
>> You hear that now, if you like.
892
00:41:02,173 --> 00:41:06,240
>> [laughter]
893
00:41:03,080 --> 00:41:06,240
>> I must BE GETTING BACK.
894
00:41:08,068 --> 00:41:10,088
>> [laughter]
895
00:41:10,640 --> 00:41:14,240
>> GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR LITTLE KNIT.
896
00:41:12,320 --> 00:41:16,760
>> GOD, YOU KNOW just how to inflame a
897
00:41:14,240 --> 00:41:16,760
chap.
898
00:41:17,280 --> 00:41:19,320
>> I'm a member of the I'm a [laughter]
899
00:41:17,920 --> 00:41:20,640
member I'm a member of the I'm a member
900
00:41:19,320 --> 00:41:24,120
of the choir society.
901
00:41:20,640 --> 00:41:25,753
>> Mature maturely ladies have always BEEN
902
00:41:24,120 --> 00:41:27,773
MY PROBLEM.
903
00:41:25,753 --> 00:41:27,773
>> [laughter]
904
00:41:31,648 --> 00:41:35,880
[laughter]
905
00:41:33,080 --> 00:41:35,880
>> OH.
906
00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:39,920
>> EVEN AS A YOUNG MAN OVERSEAS, my
907
00:41:38,400 --> 00:41:42,240
colleagues were all chasing after
908
00:41:39,920 --> 00:41:44,600
delicious little
909
00:41:42,240 --> 00:41:45,680
But I was captivated by the governor's
910
00:41:44,600 --> 00:41:49,988
wife.
911
00:41:45,680 --> 00:41:51,280
She was built to last, BUT I LOVED HER.
912
00:41:49,988 --> 00:41:53,840
>> [laughter]
913
00:41:51,280 --> 00:41:57,960
>> REALLY, YOU MUST STOP, MAJOR. IF MY
914
00:41:53,840 --> 00:41:57,960
SHAREHOLDERS HEAR IT, IT'D BE APPALLING.
915
00:42:03,744 --> 00:42:05,764
>> [laughter]
916
00:42:07,080 --> 00:42:10,294
>> Come over here. She really does remind
917
00:42:08,800 --> 00:42:10,720
me of the governor's wife.
918
00:42:10,294 --> 00:42:12,480
>> [laughter]
919
00:42:10,720 --> 00:42:15,320
>> Damn it, I've scared her, THE LITTLE
920
00:42:12,480 --> 00:42:18,520
FLOWER. I LOVE YOU, MRS. P THE LITTLE
921
00:42:15,320 --> 00:42:20,960
FLOWER. I LOVE YOU, MRS. [ __ ]
922
00:42:18,520 --> 00:42:20,960
>> X MARKS THE
923
00:42:21,640 --> 00:42:24,759
>> COME BACK.
924
00:42:22,739 --> 00:42:24,759
>> [laughter]
925
00:42:28,480 --> 00:42:31,760
>> DON'T TELL ME YOU'VE SCRATCHED THE
926
00:42:29,520 --> 00:42:35,184
MERCEDES AGAIN.
927
00:42:31,760 --> 00:42:35,760
OH, it's not the Mercedes, IT'S BRUCE.
928
00:42:35,184 --> 00:42:39,080
>> [laughter]
929
00:42:35,760 --> 00:42:43,044
>> WELL, HOW LONG HAS HE BEEN UP A TREE?
930
00:42:39,080 --> 00:42:43,360
OH, boys are always climbing trees.
931
00:42:43,044 --> 00:42:45,080
>> [laughter]
932
00:42:43,360 --> 00:42:47,200
>> Yes, I know he's 53, but they never
933
00:42:45,080 --> 00:42:49,080
really grow up.
934
00:42:47,200 --> 00:42:50,600
I once caught Richard playing with a
935
00:42:49,080 --> 00:42:51,559
Frisbee.
936
00:42:50,600 --> 00:42:52,080
He says it was one he'd found,
937
00:42:51,559 --> 00:42:55,480
[laughter]
938
00:42:52,080 --> 00:42:55,480
but I've never been sure.
939
00:42:55,880 --> 00:42:59,520
Sometimes on sleepless nights when my
940
00:42:58,320 --> 00:43:00,760
head's swimming with the
941
00:42:59,520 --> 00:43:04,600
responsibilities of [laughter]
942
00:43:00,760 --> 00:43:06,400
organizing another candlelight supper,
943
00:43:04,600 --> 00:43:10,320
sometimes I wonder,
944
00:43:06,400 --> 00:43:10,320
did he BUY THE FRISBEE?
945
00:43:11,209 --> 00:43:14,680
>> [laughter]
946
00:43:11,760 --> 00:43:16,880
>> NOW, CALM DOWN, VIOLET.
947
00:43:14,680 --> 00:43:19,069
Have you asked him why he's sulking UP A
948
00:43:16,880 --> 00:43:19,760
TREE?
949
00:43:19,069 --> 00:43:23,280
>> [laughter]
950
00:43:19,760 --> 00:43:23,280
>> HE WANTS TO WEAR YOUR EVENING DRESS.
951
00:43:24,309 --> 00:43:27,840
>> [laughter]
952
00:43:25,040 --> 00:43:27,840
>> UP A TREE?
953
00:43:28,440 --> 00:43:30,204
OH, HE DOESN'T WANT TO WEAR IT UP A
954
00:43:29,640 --> 00:43:30,960
TREE.
955
00:43:30,204 --> 00:43:34,440
>> [laughter]
956
00:43:30,960 --> 00:43:34,440
>> He wants TO GO TO A DANCE IN IT.
957
00:43:36,080 --> 00:43:38,960
I'LL BE WITH YOU IN A MINUTE, ELIZABETH.
958
00:43:38,720 --> 00:43:40,520
>> [laughter]
959
00:43:38,960 --> 00:43:43,120
>> IF YOU take my advice, YOU'LL KEEP HIM
960
00:43:40,520 --> 00:43:43,120
UP A TREE.
961
00:43:43,280 --> 00:43:46,580
RICHARD, DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE BUSY. THIS
962
00:43:45,240 --> 00:43:46,640
IS AN EMERGENCY.
963
00:43:46,580 --> 00:43:50,120
>> [laughter]
964
00:43:46,640 --> 00:43:51,960
>> Help yourself to a biscuit, Elizabeth.
965
00:43:50,120 --> 00:43:53,840
I want you to come home and take me to
966
00:43:51,960 --> 00:43:55,320
Violet's.
967
00:43:53,840 --> 00:43:56,480
Well, can't you make some excuse to
968
00:43:55,320 --> 00:43:58,280
them?
969
00:43:56,480 --> 00:44:01,160
It isn't as [laughter] if I demand much
970
00:43:58,280 --> 00:44:01,160
from you, Richard.
971
00:44:01,480 --> 00:44:05,240
No, I can't speak any louder. It's very
972
00:44:03,720 --> 00:44:08,240
embarrassing.
973
00:44:05,240 --> 00:44:09,960
It's Bruce on the loose again.
974
00:44:08,240 --> 00:44:11,960
>> What's the
975
00:44:09,960 --> 00:44:13,240
>> Now, I'm sorry, Hyacinth, for a moment I
976
00:44:11,960 --> 00:44:14,440
thought you said that Bruce was up a
977
00:44:13,240 --> 00:44:16,880
tree.
978
00:44:14,440 --> 00:44:19,040
>> Well, he is up a tree.
979
00:44:16,880 --> 00:44:20,760
>> Well, what's he doing up a tree? Is he
980
00:44:19,040 --> 00:44:22,320
stuck? If he's stuck, you really want
981
00:44:20,760 --> 00:44:24,600
the fire service.
982
00:44:22,320 --> 00:44:26,840
>> All right. All right.
983
00:44:24,600 --> 00:44:28,000
Only couldn't you ask Onslow to go and
984
00:44:26,840 --> 00:44:30,000
get him down? Onslow won't be in a
985
00:44:28,000 --> 00:44:31,280
meeting.
986
00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:32,960
Well, it's no good saying that it's
987
00:44:31,280 --> 00:44:35,400
impossible to mix Bruce and Onslow
988
00:44:32,960 --> 00:44:38,325
socially. They can manage for the time
989
00:44:35,400 --> 00:44:39,360
it takes to get down from a tree.
990
00:44:38,325 --> 00:44:41,840
>> [laughter]
991
00:44:39,360 --> 00:44:44,640
>> All right. All right.
992
00:44:41,840 --> 00:44:45,920
I'll get away as quickly as I can.
993
00:44:44,640 --> 00:44:48,200
But I thought I was speaking in a
994
00:44:45,920 --> 00:44:49,600
cooperative tone.
995
00:44:48,200 --> 00:44:51,560
Well, I assure you, Hyacinth, it was
996
00:44:49,600 --> 00:44:54,280
meant to be a cooperative tone. Yes,
997
00:44:51,560 --> 00:44:56,600
I'll get away as quickly as I can in a
998
00:44:54,280 --> 00:44:58,840
cooperative tone.
999
00:44:56,600 --> 00:44:58,840
All right.
1000
00:45:00,720 --> 00:45:05,080
Uh sorry. Sort of family trouble.
1001
00:45:05,880 --> 00:45:10,240
>> I like you in a jacket, Onslow.
1002
00:45:08,680 --> 00:45:12,880
>> What, this jacket?
1003
00:45:10,240 --> 00:45:14,080
>> Any jacket. You look
1004
00:45:12,880 --> 00:45:17,520
smart.
1005
00:45:14,080 --> 00:45:17,520
>> You're going dreamy again.
1006
00:45:17,600 --> 00:45:20,840
>> You used to wear a jacket when we were
1007
00:45:19,200 --> 00:45:23,680
courting.
1008
00:45:20,840 --> 00:45:25,880
>> Everyone wore a jacket in those days.
1009
00:45:23,680 --> 00:45:26,560
Even the scruffs wore jackets.
1010
00:45:25,880 --> 00:45:27,920
That's how you [laughter] could tell
1011
00:45:26,560 --> 00:45:30,360
they were scruffs.
1012
00:45:27,920 --> 00:45:32,160
They had holes in their jackets.
1013
00:45:30,360 --> 00:45:35,966
These days,
1014
00:45:32,160 --> 00:45:36,160
well, you can't tell who's a scruff.
1015
00:45:35,966 --> 00:45:39,680
>> [laughter]
1016
00:45:36,160 --> 00:45:39,680
>> Our Hyacinth can tell.
1017
00:45:40,280 --> 00:45:44,920
If you were married to our Hyacinth,
1018
00:45:42,680 --> 00:45:46,520
you'd always wear a jacket.
1019
00:45:44,920 --> 00:45:48,411
>> If I was married to your Hyacinth, I'd
1020
00:45:46,520 --> 00:45:48,560
be wearing earplugs.
1021
00:45:48,411 --> 00:45:50,520
>> [laughter]
1022
00:45:48,560 --> 00:45:53,520
>> I'm off to get Daddy's bike.
1023
00:45:50,520 --> 00:45:54,360
>> Oh, thank goodness, just in time. Is he
1024
00:45:53,520 --> 00:45:56,920
married?
1025
00:45:54,360 --> 00:45:58,560
>> Of course he's not married.
1026
00:45:56,920 --> 00:45:59,760
>> He was asleep.
1027
00:45:58,560 --> 00:46:02,166
Probably saving himself for the
1028
00:45:59,760 --> 00:46:02,280
honeymoon.
1029
00:46:02,166 --> 00:46:04,040
>> [laughter]
1030
00:46:02,280 --> 00:46:06,160
>> You can do without remarks like that,
1031
00:46:04,040 --> 00:46:07,840
thank you, Onslow.
1032
00:46:06,160 --> 00:46:09,440
What was she like?
1033
00:46:07,840 --> 00:46:11,080
>> What was who like?
1034
00:46:09,440 --> 00:46:12,880
>> The bride-to-be.
1035
00:46:11,080 --> 00:46:14,520
>> She never turned up.
1036
00:46:12,880 --> 00:46:16,320
>> That's a bit casual, missing your
1037
00:46:14,520 --> 00:46:20,760
wedding day.
1038
00:46:16,320 --> 00:46:20,760
>> Wheel the chair, will you, Onslow?
1039
00:46:28,360 --> 00:46:31,600
>> I'll give you Onslow a hand. Take a turn
1040
00:46:30,440 --> 00:46:33,680
with the wheelchair.
1041
00:46:31,600 --> 00:46:35,200
>> Richard, don't get too close. I know
1042
00:46:33,680 --> 00:46:37,680
they're my family, and you know I love
1043
00:46:35,200 --> 00:46:39,720
them dearly. Just in case any friends
1044
00:46:37,680 --> 00:46:40,812
are passing, I'd like just to keep it
1045
00:46:39,720 --> 00:46:42,000
our little secret.
1046
00:46:40,812 --> 00:46:43,600
>> [laughter]
1047
00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:44,640
>> It's nice to know that you love them,
1048
00:46:43,600 --> 00:46:48,120
anyway.
1049
00:46:44,640 --> 00:46:48,120
>> Keep your voice down, Richard.
1050
00:46:56,480 --> 00:47:00,080
Oh, no.
1051
00:46:58,240 --> 00:47:01,840
>> Shall we give you a lift again?
1052
00:47:00,080 --> 00:47:03,737
>> Oh, great.
1053
00:47:01,840 --> 00:47:05,757
>> Just get your father out.
1054
00:47:03,737 --> 00:47:05,757
>> [laughter]
1055
00:47:11,597 --> 00:47:13,617
[laughter]
1056
00:47:15,960 --> 00:47:20,112
>> I will not have Onslow dripping Daddy
1057
00:47:18,720 --> 00:47:21,120
over walls like this.
1058
00:47:20,112 --> 00:47:23,400
>> [laughter]
1059
00:47:21,120 --> 00:47:24,680
>> Don't make a scene.
1060
00:47:23,400 --> 00:47:25,520
>> It should fit in there.
1061
00:47:24,680 --> 00:47:27,760
>> Yeah, it's all right.
1062
00:47:25,520 --> 00:47:30,320
>> It's very nice of you, miss. And don't
1063
00:47:27,760 --> 00:47:32,280
leave him out, Onslow and Daisy.
1064
00:47:30,320 --> 00:47:34,080
>> Oh, we do.
1065
00:47:32,280 --> 00:47:35,400
>> Yeah, just let's get into the car.
1066
00:47:34,080 --> 00:47:35,760
>> It's very nice of them to give us a
1067
00:47:35,400 --> 00:47:38,000
lift.
1068
00:47:35,760 --> 00:47:40,720
>> But where to? We can't let them take
1069
00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:43,160
Daddy to Onslow's. We can't let Liz and
1070
00:47:40,720 --> 00:47:45,000
Emmet see how Daisy and Onslow live.
1071
00:47:43,160 --> 00:47:47,800
>> There isn't room enough for all of us.
1072
00:47:45,000 --> 00:47:49,240
Me and Daisy will walk.
1073
00:47:47,800 --> 00:47:50,640
>> That's the nicest thing Onslow's ever
1074
00:47:49,240 --> 00:47:51,880
said.
1075
00:47:50,640 --> 00:47:52,360
>> You got [laughter] your jacket back now,
1076
00:47:51,880 --> 00:47:54,560
DICKY?
1077
00:47:52,360 --> 00:47:54,560
>> NO.
1078
00:47:54,960 --> 00:47:58,103
RICHARD WANTS YOU TO KEEP IT.
1079
00:47:57,200 --> 00:47:58,200
>> THAT'S A GOOD MAN.
1080
00:47:58,103 --> 00:47:58,760
>> [laughter]
1081
00:47:58,200 --> 00:48:00,480
>> I'D LIKE YOU
1082
00:47:58,760 --> 00:48:02,040
>> KEEP IT.
1083
00:48:00,480 --> 00:48:03,960
IT DOESN'T FIT.
1084
00:48:02,040 --> 00:48:07,273
>> You look smarter in it.
1085
00:48:03,960 --> 00:48:09,293
>> Don't lie. She's going broody again.
1086
00:48:07,273 --> 00:48:09,293
>> [laughter]
1087
00:48:13,823 --> 00:48:15,843
[laughter]
1088
00:48:16,760 --> 00:48:21,600
>> Just get your father in the car and let
1089
00:48:18,760 --> 00:48:21,600
me get BACK TO YOU.
1090
00:48:22,338 --> 00:48:24,358
>> [laughter]
1091
00:48:25,520 --> 00:48:29,543
>> YOU THINK I'M GOING BACK TO WORK WHEN
1092
00:48:27,040 --> 00:48:31,563
ONSLOW'S THROWN DADDY OVER THE WALL?
1093
00:48:29,543 --> 00:48:31,563
>> [laughter]
1094
00:48:38,040 --> 00:48:41,240
>> WHO [laughter] ARE YOU HIDING FOR?
1095
00:48:39,640 --> 00:48:44,000
>> I'M NOT HIDING.
1096
00:48:41,240 --> 00:48:46,280
>> You're hiding.
1097
00:48:44,000 --> 00:48:48,680
>> You know perfectly well why I'm hiding.
1098
00:48:46,280 --> 00:48:50,800
>> Emmett, you live here now.
1099
00:48:48,680 --> 00:48:52,560
This is your front garden. You can't
1100
00:48:50,800 --> 00:48:54,640
never use it just because Hyacinth may
1101
00:48:52,560 --> 00:48:57,280
appear.
1102
00:48:54,640 --> 00:48:59,600
You take her too seriously.
1103
00:48:57,280 --> 00:49:01,680
The trick with Hyacinth is to just let
1104
00:48:59,600 --> 00:49:05,440
things wash over you.
1105
00:49:01,680 --> 00:49:07,120
I think that's how Richard survives.
1106
00:49:05,440 --> 00:49:08,920
>> You're right, Liz.
1107
00:49:07,120 --> 00:49:12,160
It's ridiculous.
1108
00:49:08,920 --> 00:49:15,880
I'm a grown man. I'm married.
1109
00:49:12,160 --> 00:49:15,880
Well, divorced.
1110
00:49:16,160 --> 00:49:20,480
Why should I creep about in my own
1111
00:49:18,240 --> 00:49:23,909
sister's front garden?
1112
00:49:20,480 --> 00:49:25,929
You're quite right. It's ridiculous.
1113
00:49:23,909 --> 00:49:25,929
>> [laughter]
1114
00:49:28,494 --> 00:49:32,320
[laughter]
1115
00:49:29,800 --> 00:49:34,680
>> Mr. Milburn would like to apologize. His
1116
00:49:32,320 --> 00:49:36,760
limousine's having a gearbox change, so
1117
00:49:34,680 --> 00:49:38,120
he's had to bring his other vehicle.
1118
00:49:36,760 --> 00:49:41,960
>> Is there room for all of us?
1119
00:49:38,120 --> 00:49:41,960
>> Oh, room to spare.
1120
00:49:42,360 --> 00:49:47,200
Come on, Onslow. Come on.
1121
00:49:44,400 --> 00:49:47,200
Come on. Come on.
1122
00:50:03,864 --> 00:50:05,884
>> [laughter]
1123
00:50:08,120 --> 00:50:11,069
>> Wait till midnight he'll probably go for
1124
00:50:09,600 --> 00:50:12,360
your neck.
1125
00:50:11,069 --> 00:50:14,240
>> [laughter]
1126
00:50:12,360 --> 00:50:16,920
>> Oh, it's so much better than my darling
1127
00:50:14,240 --> 00:50:18,680
musical Sheridan coming home. And he and
1128
00:50:16,920 --> 00:50:20,600
Emma have been duetting for the rest of
1129
00:50:18,680 --> 00:50:24,120
their lives. And now I'm going to bring
1130
00:50:20,600 --> 00:50:24,120
you A PRUNE SURPRISE.
1131
00:50:24,200 --> 00:50:27,444
LET'S KNOW WHAT OOH. DOCTOR'S ORDERS,
1132
00:50:27,120 --> 00:50:27,960
I'LL BRING THEM
1133
00:50:27,444 --> 00:50:29,000
>> [laughter]
1134
00:50:27,960 --> 00:50:30,680
>> over to you.
1135
00:50:29,000 --> 00:50:33,000
Would you like one of the specialties of
1136
00:50:30,680 --> 00:50:35,240
the house? I'm so sorry. My Sheridan
1137
00:50:33,000 --> 00:50:38,240
says this is what I do best. And I
1138
00:50:35,240 --> 00:50:38,240
always get a lot of praise.
1139
00:50:38,920 --> 00:50:42,080
>> Any chance of another top up, you
1140
00:50:40,400 --> 00:50:43,880
devastating creature?
1141
00:50:42,080 --> 00:50:44,240
>> I think you've reached your limit,
1142
00:50:43,880 --> 00:50:45,760
maybe.
1143
00:50:44,240 --> 00:50:46,520
>> Where did you get the semi-rigid body
1144
00:50:45,760 --> 00:50:48,120
quarters, eh?
1145
00:50:46,520 --> 00:50:49,600
>> Now, pull yourself together, dear.
1146
00:50:48,120 --> 00:50:50,200
You're You're wearing the regimental
1147
00:50:49,600 --> 00:50:52,520
tie.
1148
00:50:50,200 --> 00:50:55,120
>> WELL, I'LL CALL THE SOLDIERS' GIRL IN
1149
00:50:52,520 --> 00:50:55,120
LIST.
1150
00:50:55,610 --> 00:50:58,680
>> [cheering]
1151
00:50:57,040 --> 00:50:59,600
>> NO, I'LL GO. YES,
1152
00:50:58,680 --> 00:51:01,920
I'LL GO.
1153
00:50:59,600 --> 00:51:01,920
I'LL GO.
1154
00:51:03,470 --> 00:51:09,400
>> [laughter]
1155
00:51:05,000 --> 00:51:09,400
>> HELLO, HANDSOME. YOU LOOK NICE.
1156
00:51:10,675 --> 00:51:12,695
>> [laughter]
1157
00:51:16,960 --> 00:51:22,840
>> He can't help it. His limousine's having
1158
00:51:19,400 --> 00:51:22,840
a GEAR BOX CHANGE.
1159
00:51:28,840 --> 00:51:32,000
JUST GO OUTSIDE AND TELL HIM TO DRIVE
1160
00:51:30,440 --> 00:51:33,120
AROUND THE BLOCK UNTIL I GET RID OF MY
1161
00:51:32,000 --> 00:51:35,960
GUESTS. [laughter] WHAT ABOUT MY
1162
00:51:33,120 --> 00:51:35,960
COCKTAIL?
1163
00:51:40,760 --> 00:51:46,880
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING. GOODBYE.
1164
00:51:43,640 --> 00:51:46,880
YES, GOODBYE.
1165
00:51:48,200 --> 00:51:52,650
YES, GOODBYE.
1166
00:51:50,630 --> 00:51:52,650
>> [laughter]
1167
00:51:53,320 --> 00:51:59,320
>> OH, they're lovely.
1168
00:51:56,680 --> 00:52:02,421
You know, there are some beautiful ones
1169
00:51:59,320 --> 00:52:04,441
down the avenue, that way ON THE LEFT.
1170
00:52:02,421 --> 00:52:04,441
>> [laughter]
1171
00:52:05,080 --> 00:52:10,080
>> BYE, ELIZABETH. BYE, EMMET.
1172
00:52:13,556 --> 00:52:17,400
>> [laughter]
1173
00:52:14,960 --> 00:52:20,400
>> OH, NATURE.
1174
00:52:17,400 --> 00:52:22,200
So glad you could come.
1175
00:52:20,400 --> 00:52:24,691
It made all the difference to my little
1176
00:52:22,200 --> 00:52:26,080
party.
1177
00:52:24,691 --> 00:52:28,080
>> [laughter]
1178
00:52:26,080 --> 00:52:29,680
>> Oh, by the way, have you noticed our new
1179
00:52:28,080 --> 00:52:31,720
flashings?
1180
00:52:29,680 --> 00:52:33,861
The lead came from a disused monastery
1181
00:52:31,720 --> 00:52:35,320
just outside Toulouse.
1182
00:52:33,861 --> 00:52:37,240
>> [laughter]
1183
00:52:35,320 --> 00:52:38,446
>> I hope you enjoyed my prawn and damson
1184
00:52:37,240 --> 00:52:39,040
dip.
1185
00:52:38,446 --> 00:52:40,880
>> [laughter]
1186
00:52:39,040 --> 00:52:42,240
>> I'll let you have the recipe.
1187
00:52:40,880 --> 00:52:44,341
Much of the credit, of course, must go
1188
00:52:42,240 --> 00:52:45,600
to my friend and neighbor, Elizabeth.
1189
00:52:44,341 --> 00:52:46,840
>> [laughter]
1190
00:52:45,600 --> 00:52:49,400
>> Of course, she did work on my
1191
00:52:46,840 --> 00:52:49,400
supervision.
1192
00:52:50,600 --> 00:52:54,120
>> Where does Richard get his reserves of
1193
00:52:52,320 --> 00:52:56,320
pure courage?
1194
00:52:54,120 --> 00:52:58,920
>> Well, Richard has a very patient and
1195
00:52:56,320 --> 00:53:00,880
kindly nature.
1196
00:52:58,920 --> 00:53:02,000
Also, I think he lives in a quiet little
1197
00:53:00,880 --> 00:53:04,360
world of his own.
1198
00:53:02,000 --> 00:53:07,200
>> He deserves the Nobel Prize
1199
00:53:04,360 --> 00:53:07,200
for peace.
1200
00:53:10,280 --> 00:53:14,400
>> I think it's called a Fatsia Japonica.
1201
00:53:12,480 --> 00:53:16,440
>> You should see mine in the conservatory.
1202
00:53:14,400 --> 00:53:17,840
Blooms this big.
1203
00:53:16,440 --> 00:53:20,320
I'm sure it would interest your good
1204
00:53:17,840 --> 00:53:20,320
lady.
1205
00:53:26,261 --> 00:53:28,281
>> [laughter]
1206
00:53:33,466 --> 00:53:36,880
[laughter]
1207
00:53:34,200 --> 00:53:39,120
>> Don't let them persuade you to stay on.
1208
00:53:36,880 --> 00:53:42,800
Be firm, Richard.
1209
00:53:39,120 --> 00:53:42,800
Don't be pushed around.
1210
00:53:43,292 --> 00:53:45,312
>> [laughter]
1211
00:53:51,320 --> 00:53:57,320
>> Richard,
1212
00:53:53,280 --> 00:53:57,320
aren't we forgetting something?
1213
00:54:02,200 --> 00:54:07,600
That's better, dear.
1214
00:54:04,800 --> 00:54:09,160
And as it's your special day,
1215
00:54:07,600 --> 00:54:11,512
you can kiss me on the other CHEEK THIS
1216
00:54:09,160 --> 00:54:11,512
MORNING. [laughter]
1217
00:54:12,280 --> 00:54:16,480
GOODBYE THEN, DEAR.
1218
00:54:13,800 --> 00:54:16,480
Off you go.
1219
00:54:17,352 --> 00:54:19,372
>> [laughter]
1220
00:54:21,840 --> 00:54:27,320
>> Richard!
1221
00:54:24,520 --> 00:54:27,320
RICHARD!
1222
00:54:28,320 --> 00:54:30,960
RICHARD'S JUST WALKED BACK INTO THE
1223
00:54:29,840 --> 00:54:32,680
HOUSE.
1224
00:54:30,960 --> 00:54:33,760
>> It is his house, Liz.
1225
00:54:32,680 --> 00:54:35,400
>> No, no, no. He was supposed to be
1226
00:54:33,760 --> 00:54:37,120
heading for work.
1227
00:54:35,400 --> 00:54:38,280
I don't think he knows which way he's
1228
00:54:37,120 --> 00:54:40,000
going.
1229
00:54:38,280 --> 00:54:41,800
He's been acting strangely ever since
1230
00:54:40,000 --> 00:54:43,360
they gave him early retirement.
1231
00:54:41,800 --> 00:54:46,440
>> I should think he has, poor devil.
1232
00:54:43,360 --> 00:54:48,480
Imagine, all day at home with Hyacinth,
1233
00:54:46,440 --> 00:54:52,040
every day.
1234
00:54:48,480 --> 00:54:52,040
I'd call Amnesty International.
1235
00:54:52,080 --> 00:54:56,440
>> He just kissed Hyacinth twice and walked
1236
00:54:54,960 --> 00:54:59,200
back into the house.
1237
00:54:56,440 --> 00:55:02,960
>> Anyone who kisses Hyacinth twice is
1238
00:54:59,200 --> 00:55:02,960
entitled to walk back into the house.
1239
00:55:03,800 --> 00:55:08,520
>> Well, be more careful in future,
1240
00:55:05,840 --> 00:55:10,440
Richard, locking me out like that.
1241
00:55:08,520 --> 00:55:12,520
>> I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking.
1242
00:55:10,440 --> 00:55:13,683
>> I will not have you not thinking in
1243
00:55:12,520 --> 00:55:15,560
front of the neighbors, Richard.
1244
00:55:13,683 --> 00:55:17,760
[laughter]
1245
00:55:15,560 --> 00:55:19,400
>> I'm just a little confused this morning.
1246
00:55:17,760 --> 00:55:20,440
>> Well, it seems so, dear.
1247
00:55:19,400 --> 00:55:21,360
>> But I'm all right now.
1248
00:55:20,440 --> 00:55:24,800
>> Are you sure?
1249
00:55:21,360 --> 00:55:24,800
>> Absolutely fine.
1250
00:55:36,608 --> 00:55:38,628
>> [laughter]
1251
00:55:45,080 --> 00:55:47,640
>> Charles.
1252
00:55:48,520 --> 00:55:52,360
Hello dear. What [laughter] kind of a
1253
00:55:50,200 --> 00:55:53,560
day did you have?
1254
00:55:52,360 --> 00:55:57,880
Richard,
1255
00:55:53,560 --> 00:55:57,880
I think you ought to walk to work today.
1256
00:55:58,240 --> 00:56:03,800
Oh yes, I I will.
1257
00:56:00,760 --> 00:56:03,800
I'll walk this morning.
1258
00:56:07,080 --> 00:56:10,040
Richard!
1259
00:56:11,978 --> 00:56:13,998
>> [laughter]
1260
00:56:16,280 --> 00:56:18,840
>> I'll leave.
1261
00:56:19,360 --> 00:56:23,960
You can't leave her here.
1262
00:56:21,640 --> 00:56:24,960
I'll be back. Where are you going?
1263
00:56:23,960 --> 00:56:26,160
There's a little dog who lives at the
1264
00:56:24,960 --> 00:56:27,400
end of the road. She always plays with
1265
00:56:26,160 --> 00:56:29,480
him in the park. She'll move when she
1266
00:56:27,400 --> 00:56:31,400
sees him.
1267
00:56:29,480 --> 00:56:34,280
How long will you be? I'll be back as
1268
00:56:31,400 --> 00:56:36,213
soon as I can. In the meantime,
1269
00:56:34,280 --> 00:56:37,440
don't feed her.
1270
00:56:36,213 --> 00:56:40,920
>> [laughter]
1271
00:56:37,440 --> 00:56:40,920
>> I have no intention of feeding her.
1272
00:56:41,640 --> 00:56:45,120
GO.
1273
00:56:44,074 --> 00:56:47,920
>> [laughter]
1274
00:56:45,120 --> 00:56:49,314
>> YOU CAN'T STAY HERE.
1275
00:56:47,920 --> 00:56:51,334
GO.
1276
00:56:49,314 --> 00:56:51,334
>> [laughter]
1277
00:57:00,600 --> 00:57:05,520
>> Hello since. I'm glad you've called.
1278
00:57:03,360 --> 00:57:07,280
Now, you wanted me to be smart. With
1279
00:57:05,520 --> 00:57:09,080
Does this meet with your approval? Yes,
1280
00:57:07,280 --> 00:57:10,360
it's very nice dear. Will you give me a
1281
00:57:09,080 --> 00:57:12,000
hand?
1282
00:57:10,360 --> 00:57:13,549
Some fool's left half a camel or
1283
00:57:12,000 --> 00:57:15,569
something on my driveway.
1284
00:57:13,549 --> 00:57:15,569
>> [laughter]
1285
00:57:15,640 --> 00:57:20,080
>> I will not have it on my driveway when
1286
00:57:17,800 --> 00:57:22,280
Mrs. Henderson arrives. You want me to
1287
00:57:20,080 --> 00:57:23,280
help you move it dressed like this? I
1288
00:57:22,280 --> 00:57:24,029
don't think it'll care how YOU'RE
1289
00:57:23,280 --> 00:57:26,049
DRESSED DEAR.
1290
00:57:24,029 --> 00:57:26,049
>> [laughter]
1291
00:57:32,480 --> 00:57:37,640
>> YOU SEE? HALF A CAMEL.
1292
00:57:35,600 --> 00:57:40,280
>> IT'S A major half.
1293
00:57:37,640 --> 00:57:41,920
>> If we could just get it into the street.
1294
00:57:40,280 --> 00:57:44,334
>> Can we just park it in the street?
1295
00:57:41,920 --> 00:57:45,000
>> Well, I've no money for a meter.
1296
00:57:44,334 --> 00:57:47,040
>> [laughter]
1297
00:57:45,000 --> 00:57:49,520
>> How are we going to manage this?
1298
00:57:47,040 --> 00:57:53,280
>> Well, I think the best thing is if you
1299
00:57:49,520 --> 00:57:56,760
push and I'll steer.
1300
00:57:53,280 --> 00:57:56,760
Now, just let me get a good grip.
1301
00:58:00,280 --> 00:58:06,360
Now, pay attention, dog.
1302
00:58:03,400 --> 00:58:06,360
Off we go, then.
1303
00:58:11,190 --> 00:58:13,210
>> [laughter]
1304
00:58:15,840 --> 00:58:20,080
>> Are you watching, dear? I'm trying,
1305
00:58:17,800 --> 00:58:22,380
Hyacinth. Seems to be an awful LOT OF
1306
00:58:20,080 --> 00:58:22,380
DOG. [laughter]
1307
00:58:30,560 --> 00:58:34,825
I THINK WE'RE WINNING, DEAR.
1308
00:58:32,805 --> 00:58:34,825
>> [laughter]
1309
00:58:42,630 --> 00:58:45,960
[applause]
1310
00:58:43,940 --> 00:58:45,960
[laughter]
1311
00:58:47,215 --> 00:58:49,235
[cheering]
1312
00:58:49,835 --> 00:58:55,640
[laughter]
1313
00:58:51,840 --> 00:58:55,640
>> BE WITH YOU IN A MOMENT, MRS. HENDERSON.
1314
00:58:56,840 --> 00:59:01,240
OH, MRS. HENDERSON, DON'T WORRY, MRS.
1315
00:58:58,560 --> 00:59:02,935
HENDERSON. I'M SURE SHE'LL BE BACK QUITE
1316
00:59:01,240 --> 00:59:04,955
SOON.
1317
00:59:02,935 --> 00:59:04,955
>> [laughter]
1318
00:59:10,800 --> 00:59:13,880
>> CAN YOU SEE ANYTHING NOW?
1319
00:59:13,415 --> 00:59:17,120
>> [laughter]
1320
00:59:13,880 --> 00:59:17,120
>> I DAREN'T LOOK.
1321
00:59:17,880 --> 00:59:23,880
COME ALONG, RICHARD. Use your eyes. I
1322
00:59:21,600 --> 00:59:25,600
daren't even open them. I don't like
1323
00:59:23,880 --> 00:59:27,840
heights.
1324
00:59:25,600 --> 00:59:29,200
It's at times like these, uh, my
1325
00:59:27,840 --> 00:59:31,720
Sheridan.
1326
00:59:29,200 --> 00:59:35,480
>> When did he ever climb a tree?
1327
00:59:31,720 --> 00:59:35,480
>> He would for HIS MUMMY, DEAR.
1328
00:59:37,400 --> 00:59:40,120
RICHARD.
1329
00:59:40,320 --> 00:59:44,440
You're not all that high, dear.
1330
00:59:42,560 --> 00:59:45,880
>> That's not the impression you get from
1331
00:59:44,440 --> 00:59:49,080
up here.
1332
00:59:45,880 --> 00:59:50,096
>> We'll scan the countryside.
1333
00:59:49,080 --> 00:59:50,320
Look
1334
00:59:50,096 --> 00:59:52,280
>> [laughter]
1335
00:59:50,320 --> 00:59:55,840
>> particularly
1336
00:59:52,280 --> 00:59:58,560
for evidence of mounds and depressions.
1337
00:59:55,840 --> 01:00:02,040
>> The only depression is mine. I feel
1338
00:59:58,560 --> 01:00:04,560
extremely unsafe.
1339
01:00:02,040 --> 01:00:06,840
>> Really, Richard? Here we are in the
1340
01:00:04,560 --> 01:00:10,160
pursuit of history and all you can think
1341
01:00:06,840 --> 01:00:10,160
about is your safety.
1342
01:00:10,401 --> 01:00:12,421
>> [laughter]
1343
01:00:12,920 --> 01:00:16,160
>> How could that hiker have the
1344
01:00:14,240 --> 01:00:18,840
impertinence to think I was talking to a
1345
01:00:16,160 --> 01:00:19,640
tree?
1346
01:00:18,840 --> 01:00:22,120
They [laughter] didn't believe you were
1347
01:00:19,640 --> 01:00:24,240
up there at all. Why didn't you answer?
1348
01:00:22,120 --> 01:00:26,520
>> I must have been totally engrossed in
1349
01:00:24,240 --> 01:00:28,320
looking for Iron Age remains.
1350
01:00:26,520 --> 01:00:29,880
>> Well, you should have answered.
1351
01:00:28,320 --> 01:00:32,000
>> Well, look for lumps and depressions,
1352
01:00:29,880 --> 01:00:34,320
you said. I must have been so wrapped up
1353
01:00:32,000 --> 01:00:38,800
in looking for lumps and depressions.
1354
01:00:34,320 --> 01:00:38,800
>> It was very humiliating for me.
1355
01:00:39,800 --> 01:00:44,462
Mind the pothole in the road.
1356
01:00:41,840 --> 01:00:46,482
>> Minding the pothole.
1357
01:00:44,462 --> 01:00:46,482
>> [laughter]
1358
01:00:56,400 --> 01:01:01,200
>> Leave it. LEAVE IT.
1359
01:00:59,080 --> 01:01:01,200
OH.
1360
01:01:14,040 --> 01:01:17,440
>> GOOD DOG. GOOD DOG.
1361
01:01:15,902 --> 01:01:19,320
>> [laughter]
1362
01:01:17,440 --> 01:01:20,280
>> YOU GO ON IN, RICHARD, and turn Onslow
1363
01:01:19,320 --> 01:01:22,452
to the wall.
1364
01:01:20,280 --> 01:01:23,120
>> How am I supposed to do that?
1365
01:01:22,452 --> 01:01:27,120
>> [laughter]
1366
01:01:23,120 --> 01:01:29,360
>> Richard, you are retired now. You have
1367
01:01:27,120 --> 01:01:32,360
time to work these things out for
1368
01:01:29,360 --> 01:01:32,360
yourself.
1369
01:01:37,200 --> 01:01:42,040
Rose.
1370
01:01:38,760 --> 01:01:44,000
Don't be silly. You can't turn Buddhist.
1371
01:01:42,040 --> 01:01:45,960
I will not have you chanting mantras.
1372
01:01:44,000 --> 01:01:47,080
It'll wake Daddy.
1373
01:01:45,960 --> 01:01:48,000
Has she got a mantra?
1374
01:01:47,080 --> 01:01:49,000
>> Has she got a mantra?
1375
01:01:48,000 --> 01:01:50,640
>> Has she got a mantra?
1376
01:01:49,000 --> 01:01:52,800
>> She's got the bottom open. Now, that's
1377
01:01:50,640 --> 01:01:56,400
what she has.
1378
01:01:52,800 --> 01:01:57,840
>> ROSE, DO STOP being silly. Let me in and
1379
01:01:56,400 --> 01:02:00,760
let's talk this over.
1380
01:01:57,840 --> 01:02:01,640
>> Send Richard in. I'll talk to Richard.
1381
01:02:00,760 --> 01:02:03,320
>> Why, Richard?
1382
01:02:01,640 --> 01:02:05,000
>> Because I want to give him my farewell
1383
01:02:03,320 --> 01:02:06,560
letter to Edgar.
1384
01:02:05,000 --> 01:02:08,200
>> Well, push it under the door.
1385
01:02:06,560 --> 01:02:10,267
>> I can't.
1386
01:02:08,200 --> 01:02:10,960
It's 30 pages.
1387
01:02:10,267 --> 01:02:13,760
>> [laughter]
1388
01:02:10,960 --> 01:02:16,680
>> Two whole days Hyacinth-free.
1389
01:02:13,760 --> 01:02:16,680
>> Not quite.
1390
01:02:18,128 --> 01:02:20,148
>> [laughter]
1391
01:02:21,680 --> 01:02:25,960
>> There's something you haven't told me.
1392
01:02:24,360 --> 01:02:29,280
>> Yes.
1393
01:02:25,960 --> 01:02:31,080
>> Well, go on. Tell me.
1394
01:02:29,280 --> 01:02:31,883
>> Hyacinth wants us to visit them this
1395
01:02:31,080 --> 01:02:32,320
evening.
1396
01:02:31,883 --> 01:02:34,640
>> [laughter]
1397
01:02:32,320 --> 01:02:37,680
>> Did you?
1398
01:02:34,640 --> 01:02:37,680
FOR A BARBECUE.
1399
01:02:41,053 --> 01:02:43,760
>> [laughter]
1400
01:02:41,640 --> 01:02:46,040
>> YOU DIDN'T SAY YES.
1401
01:02:43,760 --> 01:02:49,760
>> I didn't say anything. When does one
1402
01:02:46,040 --> 01:02:52,843
ever say anything? We're just expected.
1403
01:02:49,760 --> 01:02:54,040
Oh, DON'T CRY IN IT.
1404
01:02:52,843 --> 01:02:57,840
>> [laughter]
1405
01:02:54,040 --> 01:02:57,840
>> I HATE IT WHEN YOU CRY.
1406
01:03:09,873 --> 01:03:13,520
>> [laughter]
1407
01:03:10,800 --> 01:03:16,280
>> THERE YOU ARE. I TOLD YOU they're going
1408
01:03:13,520 --> 01:03:16,280
away.
1409
01:03:19,698 --> 01:03:21,718
>> [laughter]
1410
01:03:24,938 --> 01:03:26,958
[laughter]
1411
01:03:28,640 --> 01:03:33,040
>> Said put it somewhere safe. I thought
1412
01:03:30,200 --> 01:03:33,040
you could hold it.
1413
01:03:47,209 --> 01:03:49,229
>> [laughter]
1414
01:03:49,828 --> 01:03:51,849
[applause]
1415
01:03:55,920 --> 01:03:59,320
>> That was quite a send-off.
1416
01:03:58,999 --> 01:04:01,040
>> [laughter]
1417
01:03:59,320 --> 01:04:04,120
>> He must never move, dear. He'd be
1418
01:04:01,040 --> 01:04:04,120
greatly missed.
1419
01:04:04,480 --> 01:04:08,360
It's rather humbling to realize how many
1420
01:04:06,560 --> 01:04:09,880
friends we have.
1421
01:04:08,360 --> 01:04:11,520
I thought Mr. Ridley looked rather
1422
01:04:09,880 --> 01:04:13,920
shabby.
1423
01:04:11,520 --> 01:04:16,720
>> He was just gardening.
1424
01:04:13,920 --> 01:04:18,360
>> I expect he's lost heart, poor man.
1425
01:04:16,720 --> 01:04:19,959
His wife can't be an easy person to be
1426
01:04:18,360 --> 01:04:20,360
married to.
1427
01:04:19,959 --> 01:04:21,880
>> [laughter]
1428
01:04:20,360 --> 01:04:23,320
>> I've never heard her speak to him unless
1429
01:04:21,880 --> 01:04:25,200
to give an order.
1430
01:04:23,320 --> 01:04:27,164
>> I'm familiar.
1431
01:04:25,200 --> 01:04:27,680
>> Take the next right, dear.
1432
01:04:27,164 --> 01:04:30,320
>> [laughter]
1433
01:04:27,680 --> 01:04:31,749
>> As we all know, the secret of marriage
1434
01:04:30,320 --> 01:04:32,080
is give and take.
1435
01:04:31,749 --> 01:04:37,400
>> [laughter]
1436
01:04:32,080 --> 01:04:37,400
>> Kindness, understanding, TOLERANCE.
1437
01:04:39,160 --> 01:04:43,760
RICHARD, YOU SHOULD HAVE TURNED RIGHT
1438
01:04:40,840 --> 01:04:43,760
THERE, DEAR.
1439
01:04:46,040 --> 01:04:49,560
>> But I thought we agreed on no holiday
1440
01:04:48,000 --> 01:04:51,040
this year.
1441
01:04:49,560 --> 01:04:52,400
>> I don't think much of any of these
1442
01:04:51,040 --> 01:04:54,160
offers in the window.
1443
01:04:52,400 --> 01:04:55,680
>> Let's invest my retirement money in a
1444
01:04:54,160 --> 01:04:59,720
little cottage, we said.
1445
01:04:55,680 --> 01:05:01,360
>> 14 nights for £209.
1446
01:04:59,720 --> 01:05:03,920
>> When I say we said, what I really mean,
1447
01:05:01,360 --> 01:05:05,560
of course, is you said.
1448
01:05:03,920 --> 01:05:07,680
>> I hope these people don't cater
1449
01:05:05,560 --> 01:05:09,740
exclusively for the spaghetti and chips
1450
01:05:07,680 --> 01:05:11,760
brigade.
1451
01:05:09,740 --> 01:05:11,760
>> [laughter]
1452
01:05:13,440 --> 01:05:17,960
>> You're looking for something expensive.
1453
01:05:15,440 --> 01:05:20,960
>> I'm looking for something very
1454
01:05:17,960 --> 01:05:20,960
expensive.
1455
01:05:21,400 --> 01:05:27,200
We can't go in while nobody's browsing.
1456
01:05:24,480 --> 01:05:29,160
There's absolutely no point in asking
1457
01:05:27,200 --> 01:05:30,045
for something very expensive if nobody's
1458
01:05:29,160 --> 01:05:31,080
listening.
1459
01:05:30,045 --> 01:05:33,280
>> [laughter]
1460
01:05:31,080 --> 01:05:34,160
>> We come back later when the place is
1461
01:05:33,280 --> 01:05:36,680
full.
1462
01:05:34,160 --> 01:05:36,680
>> What?
1463
01:05:39,200 --> 01:05:42,480
I wish you wouldn't start polishing all
1464
01:05:40,880 --> 01:05:46,560
the cutlery.
1465
01:05:42,480 --> 01:05:49,280
>> Very last year, the Caribbean anyway.
1466
01:05:46,560 --> 01:05:49,280
>> Two coffees.
1467
01:05:50,280 --> 01:05:54,160
Are you having a meal?
1468
01:05:51,880 --> 01:05:55,280
>> I don't think so, thank you.
1469
01:05:54,160 --> 01:05:57,720
>> Need [laughter] a fork for your coffee,
1470
01:05:55,280 --> 01:05:57,720
do you?
1471
01:05:58,760 --> 01:06:04,105
>> This is the last time I come here.
1472
01:06:01,240 --> 01:06:04,400
>> Probably the last time they let us in.
1473
01:06:04,105 --> 01:06:06,240
>> [laughter]
1474
01:06:04,400 --> 01:06:08,440
>> And what are you looking for?
1475
01:06:06,240 --> 01:06:11,680
>> You frequently find traces of lipstick
1476
01:06:08,440 --> 01:06:11,680
in places like this.
1477
01:06:12,760 --> 01:06:15,640
>> Where do we think you're going that's so
1478
01:06:14,680 --> 01:06:17,480
expensive?
1479
01:06:15,640 --> 01:06:18,760
>> We're not going anywhere.
1480
01:06:17,480 --> 01:06:20,120
>> Then why are we going to the travel
1481
01:06:18,760 --> 01:06:23,080
agency?
1482
01:06:20,120 --> 01:06:25,480
>> Because we need brochures. There's
1483
01:06:23,080 --> 01:06:28,640
absolutely no harm in asking for a few
1484
01:06:25,480 --> 01:06:31,200
brochures. Very exotic brochures, of
1485
01:06:28,640 --> 01:06:31,200
course.
1486
01:06:31,520 --> 01:06:35,560
I'll teach Delia we'll write a thing or
1487
01:06:34,160 --> 01:06:39,760
two.
1488
01:06:35,560 --> 01:06:40,130
Where to leave them lying casually.
1489
01:06:39,760 --> 01:06:42,151
Oh.
1490
01:06:40,130 --> 01:06:42,151
>> [laughter]
1491
01:06:48,280 --> 01:06:51,921
>> How did they look?
1492
01:06:49,760 --> 01:06:53,941
>> Hm?
1493
01:06:51,921 --> 01:06:53,941
>> [laughter]
1494
01:06:56,160 --> 01:07:01,240
>> How did they look?
1495
01:06:58,800 --> 01:07:03,056
>> They look like brochures lying on a
1496
01:07:01,240 --> 01:07:03,520
table.
1497
01:07:03,056 --> 01:07:05,880
>> [laughter]
1498
01:07:03,520 --> 01:07:07,560
>> Yes, but dear, would you notice them the
1499
01:07:05,880 --> 01:07:09,320
moment you came into the room?
1500
01:07:07,560 --> 01:07:10,720
>> Oh, it's no good asking me. I mean, you
1501
01:07:09,320 --> 01:07:12,680
know me. I
1502
01:07:10,720 --> 01:07:15,760
I didn't even notice when your father
1503
01:07:12,680 --> 01:07:15,760
was on fire.
1504
01:07:16,600 --> 01:07:19,880
>> Oh, Daddy, I do wish you'd give up
1505
01:07:18,480 --> 01:07:20,840
smoking.
1506
01:07:19,880 --> 01:07:23,720
But you see,
1507
01:07:20,840 --> 01:07:25,920
I want Elizabeth to spot the brochures
1508
01:07:23,720 --> 01:07:27,400
immediately when I fetch her in for
1509
01:07:25,920 --> 01:07:29,920
coffee. I don't want to have to
1510
01:07:27,400 --> 01:07:31,600
introduce the subject myself. It's very
1511
01:07:29,920 --> 01:07:34,080
vulgar to go boasting about one's
1512
01:07:31,600 --> 01:07:35,960
holiday plans.
1513
01:07:34,080 --> 01:07:38,426
Leave the room, Richard.
1514
01:07:35,960 --> 01:07:38,800
>> What have I done now?
1515
01:07:38,426 --> 01:07:40,960
>> [laughter]
1516
01:07:38,800 --> 01:07:44,200
>> Nothing, DEAR. I JUST WANT YOU TO WALK
1517
01:07:40,960 --> 01:07:47,000
BACK into the room and see if you notice
1518
01:07:44,200 --> 01:07:48,251
them straight away. Go on.
1519
01:07:47,000 --> 01:07:50,271
Go on.
1520
01:07:48,251 --> 01:07:50,271
>> [laughter]
1521
01:08:04,400 --> 01:08:07,080
>> RICHARD.
1522
01:08:05,760 --> 01:08:10,440
>> YES.
1523
01:08:07,080 --> 01:08:10,440
>> WHY DON'T YOU COME IN, DEAR?
1524
01:08:10,720 --> 01:08:17,360
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
1525
01:08:13,480 --> 01:08:17,360
>> WELL, I I I WAS waiting for a signal.
1526
01:08:17,680 --> 01:08:21,720
>> BUT [laughter] DID YOU NOTICE THE
1527
01:08:18,720 --> 01:08:21,720
BROCHURES?
1528
01:08:21,799 --> 01:08:25,240
>> I forgot all about the brochures.
1529
01:08:23,520 --> 01:08:27,759
>> No.
1530
01:08:25,240 --> 01:08:30,640
>> I'll go out again. I'll go out again.
1531
01:08:27,759 --> 01:08:30,640
>> Richard.
1532
01:08:31,440 --> 01:08:34,720
What are you doing, dear?
1533
01:08:33,200 --> 01:08:36,067
>> Waiting for something to grow out of
1534
01:08:34,720 --> 01:08:38,000
place. As soon as it
1535
01:08:36,067 --> 01:08:39,200
>> [laughter]
1536
01:08:38,000 --> 01:08:40,720
>> Well, I hope you won't be going through
1537
01:08:39,200 --> 01:08:43,480
this kind of performance when Mrs.
1538
01:08:40,720 --> 01:08:46,480
Councillor Nujan comes.
1539
01:08:43,480 --> 01:08:47,960
Can't you find something more
1540
01:08:46,480 --> 01:08:50,120
active?
1541
01:08:47,960 --> 01:08:52,680
>> I've been thinking about that. Now I've
1542
01:08:50,120 --> 01:08:55,319
got all this time, I thought I might
1543
01:08:52,680 --> 01:08:58,200
sail around the world single-handed.
1544
01:08:55,319 --> 01:09:00,560
>> Oh, Richard, who will do all your
1545
01:08:58,200 --> 01:09:01,960
washing?
1546
01:09:00,560 --> 01:09:04,560
>> Do my own.
1547
01:09:01,960 --> 01:09:07,319
>> Then who'd be steering the boat, dear?
1548
01:09:04,560 --> 01:09:10,520
>> They have automatic steering things.
1549
01:09:07,319 --> 01:09:11,437
>> We have an automatic washer. That's much
1550
01:09:10,520 --> 01:09:13,200
easier.
1551
01:09:11,437 --> 01:09:17,480
>> [laughter]
1552
01:09:13,200 --> 01:09:20,359
>> What you need is a sensible hobby.
1553
01:09:17,480 --> 01:09:20,359
Follow me.
1554
01:09:20,400 --> 01:09:25,847
>> Follow me.
1555
01:09:22,560 --> 01:09:27,867
Hobby is a full-time occupation.
1556
01:09:25,847 --> 01:09:27,867
>> [laughter]
1557
01:09:29,799 --> 01:09:33,359
>> Now,
1558
01:09:31,560 --> 01:09:34,960
stand there
1559
01:09:33,359 --> 01:09:36,240
till I return.
1560
01:09:34,960 --> 01:09:38,160
>> Well, where are you going?
1561
01:09:36,240 --> 01:09:38,880
>> I'll be back in a moment. Just stand
1562
01:09:38,160 --> 01:09:40,799
there.
1563
01:09:38,880 --> 01:09:43,839
>> Until when?
1564
01:09:40,799 --> 01:09:45,799
>> Until I come back and present you with
1565
01:09:43,839 --> 01:09:47,560
your hobby.
1566
01:09:45,799 --> 01:09:49,428
>> I haven't got a hobby.
1567
01:09:47,560 --> 01:09:51,160
>> You have now.
1568
01:09:49,428 --> 01:09:53,799
>> [laughter]
1569
01:09:51,160 --> 01:09:56,280
>> I probably could I I probably could sail
1570
01:09:53,799 --> 01:09:59,320
around the world single-handed, all
1571
01:09:56,280 --> 01:10:02,160
alone in the middle of a vast ocean.
1572
01:09:59,320 --> 01:10:02,160
Must be heaven.
1573
01:10:02,760 --> 01:10:06,400
She's right about the shirts, THOUGH.
1574
01:10:07,960 --> 01:10:12,353
>> DON'T MOVE, RICHARD. STAY WHERE YOU ARE,
1575
01:10:10,320 --> 01:10:14,000
DEAR. I haven't forgotten you.
1576
01:10:12,353 --> 01:10:16,120
>> [laughter]
1577
01:10:14,000 --> 01:10:19,480
>> OR I COULD BUY A BICYCLE. GO FROM Land's
1578
01:10:16,120 --> 01:10:21,080
End to John O'Groats by bicycle. Oh.
1579
01:10:19,480 --> 01:10:22,833
Same old problem.
1580
01:10:21,080 --> 01:10:24,853
Who does your washing?
1581
01:10:22,833 --> 01:10:24,853
>> [laughter]
1582
01:10:25,400 --> 01:10:28,840
>> Close your eyes.
1583
01:10:26,960 --> 01:10:30,400
>> Oh, is that it? Closing my eyes? Is that
1584
01:10:28,840 --> 01:10:33,080
going to be my hobby?
1585
01:10:30,400 --> 01:10:35,400
>> Richard, I am about to place in your
1586
01:10:33,080 --> 01:10:37,080
hands something which could change your
1587
01:10:35,400 --> 01:10:40,080
life.
1588
01:10:37,080 --> 01:10:40,080
>> My own key.
1589
01:10:40,518 --> 01:10:43,640
>> [laughter]
1590
01:10:41,760 --> 01:10:47,080
>> DON'T BE SILLY, RICHARD.
1591
01:10:43,640 --> 01:10:47,080
NOW, close your eyes, dear.
1592
01:10:51,654 --> 01:10:53,040
>> [laughter]
1593
01:10:52,000 --> 01:10:58,160
>> What is it?
1594
01:10:53,040 --> 01:11:00,040
>> It's your retirement gift. There is your
1595
01:10:58,160 --> 01:11:01,840
The video camera.
1596
01:11:00,040 --> 01:11:03,760
They gave it to you when you left and
1597
01:11:01,840 --> 01:11:04,960
you've never bothered with it.
1598
01:11:03,760 --> 01:11:06,200
>> I suppose I was saving it until
1599
01:11:04,960 --> 01:11:08,440
something interesting happened.
1600
01:11:06,200 --> 01:11:11,400
>> Well, off you go then, dear, and film
1601
01:11:08,440 --> 01:11:14,000
something interesting. Be artistic. I'm
1602
01:11:11,400 --> 01:11:17,880
artistic. Sheridan's artistic.
1603
01:11:14,000 --> 01:11:17,880
>> Yeah, I'm not being that artistic.
1604
01:11:18,840 --> 01:11:23,094
>> Hello. THAT'S PROBABLY SOMEBODY
1605
01:11:20,440 --> 01:11:24,560
IMPORTANT.
1606
01:11:23,094 --> 01:11:26,440
>> [laughter]
1607
01:11:24,560 --> 01:11:28,840
>> THE BOUQUET RESIDENCE, THE LADY of the
1608
01:11:26,440 --> 01:11:31,400
house speaking.
1609
01:11:28,840 --> 01:11:35,280
Sheridan.
1610
01:11:31,400 --> 01:11:37,720
How uncanny of you to call Mommy just as
1611
01:11:35,280 --> 01:11:40,360
we were talking of you, dear. What a
1612
01:11:37,720 --> 01:11:41,480
deep psychic bond we have. It's almost
1613
01:11:40,360 --> 01:11:42,960
frightening.
1614
01:11:41,480 --> 01:11:44,054
>> If he wants money again, it's
1615
01:11:42,960 --> 01:11:45,880
terrifying.
1616
01:11:44,054 --> 01:11:48,240
>> [laughter]
1617
01:11:45,880 --> 01:11:50,080
>> See, it doesn't even wobble.
1618
01:11:48,240 --> 01:11:50,640
So, why can't I do it when HYACINTH'S
1619
01:11:50,080 --> 01:11:53,224
HERE?
1620
01:11:50,640 --> 01:11:55,244
>> ELIZABETH.
1621
01:11:53,224 --> 01:11:55,244
>> [cheering]
1622
01:11:56,499 --> 01:11:58,519
[applause]
1623
01:12:02,394 --> 01:12:04,414
[cheering]
1624
01:12:05,669 --> 01:12:07,680
[laughter]
1625
01:12:05,760 --> 01:12:10,000
>> JUST LEAVE IT AND GET OUT OF HERE.
1626
01:12:07,680 --> 01:12:10,000
GET OUT.
1627
01:12:10,909 --> 01:12:11,760
>> [cheering]
1628
01:12:11,565 --> 01:12:13,120
[applause]
1629
01:12:11,760 --> 01:12:15,000
>> HELLO, DEAR.
1630
01:12:13,120 --> 01:12:17,080
LOOK THERE.
1631
01:12:15,000 --> 01:12:20,560
PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER, DEAR, and come
1632
01:12:17,080 --> 01:12:20,560
and help me shift this car.
1633
01:12:20,735 --> 01:12:22,755
>> [laughter]
1634
01:12:25,000 --> 01:12:29,760
>> Found some help.
1635
01:12:27,120 --> 01:12:30,840
Who's that pushing the car with Rose? Is
1636
01:12:29,760 --> 01:12:32,040
it
1637
01:12:30,840 --> 01:12:33,835
It's
1638
01:12:32,040 --> 01:12:35,855
Councillor Mrs. NEW GENT.
1639
01:12:33,835 --> 01:12:35,855
>> [laughter]
1640
01:12:37,360 --> 01:12:39,600
>> OH.
1641
01:12:39,730 --> 01:12:41,750
>> [laughter]
1642
01:12:44,000 --> 01:12:47,880
>> COUNCILLOR MRS. NEW GENT, HOW KIND of
1643
01:12:46,640 --> 01:12:51,480
you to volunteer.
1644
01:12:47,880 --> 01:12:53,280
>> Volunteer? How dare one not when someone
1645
01:12:51,480 --> 01:12:56,120
his size says, "Give us a push, YOU GIVE
1646
01:12:53,280 --> 01:12:58,480
HIM A PUSH. [laughter]
1647
01:12:56,120 --> 01:13:00,690
WHO'S IN THE DRIVER? OBVIOUSLY SOME kind
1648
01:12:58,480 --> 01:13:02,480
of thug.
1649
01:13:00,690 --> 01:13:06,080
>> [laughter]
1650
01:13:02,480 --> 01:13:07,880
>> She's obviously his moll.
1651
01:13:06,080 --> 01:13:09,860
Damn funny people to have around your
1652
01:13:07,880 --> 01:13:10,840
place, Mrs. Bucket.
1653
01:13:09,860 --> 01:13:13,480
>> [laughter]
1654
01:13:10,840 --> 01:13:15,100
>> We are all here to help each other, I
1655
01:13:13,480 --> 01:13:17,120
always think.
1656
01:13:15,100 --> 01:13:17,120
>> [laughter]
1657
01:13:18,560 --> 01:13:25,520
>> Especially those suitable to serve on
1658
01:13:20,960 --> 01:13:27,920
your committee. Very odd people.
1659
01:13:25,520 --> 01:13:31,520
Well, of course they're not really like
1660
01:13:27,920 --> 01:13:33,441
this. They're in film. A film?
1661
01:13:31,520 --> 01:13:34,920
IT'S FILM.
1662
01:13:33,441 --> 01:13:38,240
>> [laughter]
1663
01:13:34,920 --> 01:13:41,320
>> IT'S MY HUSBAND'S FILM.
1664
01:13:38,240 --> 01:13:42,560
YOUR HUSBAND MAKES FILMS? I never knew
1665
01:13:41,320 --> 01:13:44,320
that.
1666
01:13:42,560 --> 01:13:46,840
Oh, yes.
1667
01:13:44,320 --> 01:13:50,640
HE'S OUT NOW, scouting
1668
01:13:46,840 --> 01:13:52,560
for locations. How jolly interesting. I
1669
01:13:50,640 --> 01:13:55,920
must say someone's made these people up
1670
01:13:52,560 --> 01:13:57,676
tremendously well.
1671
01:13:55,920 --> 01:13:58,160
Extraordinary realism.
1672
01:13:57,676 --> 01:14:00,120
>> [laughter]
1673
01:13:58,160 --> 01:14:02,040
>> Thank you.
1674
01:14:00,120 --> 01:14:04,520
I SWEAR HE'D look like that all his
1675
01:14:02,040 --> 01:14:04,520
life.
1676
01:14:07,200 --> 01:14:11,600
They've got your type dead right. Do you
1677
01:14:09,520 --> 01:14:13,280
mind? Who do you think you are,
1678
01:14:11,600 --> 01:14:15,520
Shustercaros?
1679
01:14:13,280 --> 01:14:17,360
Time for another rehearsal, Rose. Push
1680
01:14:15,520 --> 01:14:20,840
the car.
1681
01:14:17,360 --> 01:14:20,840
Rather fun, really.
1682
01:14:21,000 --> 01:14:25,080
What part ARE YOU PLAYING?
1683
01:14:23,320 --> 01:14:27,400
UM
1684
01:14:25,080 --> 01:14:30,000
ELIZABETH HASN'T CHANGED YET.
1685
01:14:27,400 --> 01:14:32,240
Her costume's inside. What about yours,
1686
01:14:30,000 --> 01:14:35,680
Mrs. Bucket? Oh,
1687
01:14:32,240 --> 01:14:37,560
my costume's inside, too.
1688
01:14:35,680 --> 01:14:39,760
Wouldn't have a small part for a busy
1689
01:14:37,560 --> 01:14:42,040
counselor, would you?
1690
01:14:39,760 --> 01:14:44,120
Wouldn't have a place on your committee
1691
01:14:42,040 --> 01:14:47,360
for an enthusiastic, loyal, highly
1692
01:14:44,120 --> 01:14:50,000
regarded lady well versed I should think
1693
01:14:47,360 --> 01:14:55,520
something could be arranged.
1694
01:14:50,000 --> 01:14:57,240
>> Let's go inside and discuss our roles.
1695
01:14:55,520 --> 01:14:59,680
>> Listen to this.
1696
01:14:57,240 --> 01:15:02,521
Gonja joined the Foreign Legion. Au
1697
01:14:59,680 --> 01:15:03,080
revoir, Dad.
1698
01:15:02,521 --> 01:15:04,200
>> [laughter]
1699
01:15:03,080 --> 01:15:05,520
>> Where'd you find that?
1700
01:15:04,200 --> 01:15:07,520
>> On his pillow.
1701
01:15:05,520 --> 01:15:08,960
>> Oh, poor love.
1702
01:15:07,520 --> 01:15:11,692
I expect it's because he's not getting
1703
01:15:08,960 --> 01:15:12,240
anywhere romantically with Mrs. Clayton.
1704
01:15:11,692 --> 01:15:13,800
>> [laughter]
1705
01:15:12,240 --> 01:15:17,280
>> Where Where did you go to join the
1706
01:15:13,800 --> 01:15:20,040
Legion? Is there a branch around here?
1707
01:15:17,280 --> 01:15:22,172
>> I doubt it. We've only just got Colonel
1708
01:15:20,040 --> 01:15:23,160
Sanders.
1709
01:15:22,172 --> 01:15:26,160
>> [laughter]
1710
01:15:23,160 --> 01:15:26,160
>> Onslow.
1711
01:15:28,640 --> 01:15:33,200
>> Do you mind if I open me eyes up slowly?
1712
01:15:31,997 --> 01:15:34,880
>> [laughter]
1713
01:15:33,200 --> 01:15:38,280
>> There's no good comes from rushing YOUR
1714
01:15:34,880 --> 01:15:38,280
MORNING EXERCISES.
1715
01:15:42,080 --> 01:15:46,200
THERE'S SOME MORNINGS when the light
1716
01:15:43,600 --> 01:15:47,480
goes straight through you.
1717
01:15:46,200 --> 01:15:48,320
>> Oh, so where did you go to join the
1718
01:15:47,480 --> 01:15:51,280
Legion?
1719
01:15:48,320 --> 01:15:51,280
>> COOPER STREET.
1720
01:15:52,360 --> 01:15:56,320
>> NOT THE BRITISH LEGION, THE French
1721
01:15:54,560 --> 01:15:57,880
Foreign Legion.
1722
01:15:56,320 --> 01:15:59,840
>> They'll never take you. It's just for
1723
01:15:57,880 --> 01:16:02,760
fellows. [laughter]
1724
01:15:59,840 --> 01:16:05,240
>> Sounds like it might be worth A TRY.
1725
01:16:02,760 --> 01:16:06,920
>> IT'S NOT FOR ME, you fool. It's for
1726
01:16:05,240 --> 01:16:08,320
Father. He's gone to join the French
1727
01:16:06,920 --> 01:16:11,040
Foreign Legion.
1728
01:16:08,320 --> 01:16:12,560
>> He'll never get through the medical.
1729
01:16:11,040 --> 01:16:14,040
>> Oh, come on, Onslow, get up. We've got
1730
01:16:12,560 --> 01:16:15,882
to go and FIND FATHER.
1731
01:16:14,040 --> 01:16:17,902
>> OH.
1732
01:16:15,882 --> 01:16:17,902
>> [laughter]
1733
01:16:21,040 --> 01:16:24,640
>> DO YOU THINK THIS IS A SUITABLE hat for
1734
01:16:22,680 --> 01:16:27,800
an art exhibition, dear?
1735
01:16:24,640 --> 01:16:27,800
>> Yes, that's fine.
1736
01:16:30,948 --> 01:16:32,968
>> [laughter]
1737
01:16:35,280 --> 01:16:40,117
>> What about this?
1738
01:16:37,040 --> 01:16:42,137
>> Yes, I like it even better second time.
1739
01:16:40,117 --> 01:16:42,137
>> [laughter]
1740
01:16:42,520 --> 01:16:46,760
>> Richard, it's is a different hat.
1741
01:16:45,760 --> 01:16:49,360
>> Oh, is it?
1742
01:16:46,760 --> 01:16:50,480
Oh, of course it is. It's fine. It's
1743
01:16:49,360 --> 01:16:52,320
fine.
1744
01:16:50,480 --> 01:16:53,760
>> What are you reading, dear?
1745
01:16:52,320 --> 01:16:55,600
>> Well, I'm not so much reading as
1746
01:16:53,760 --> 01:16:59,880
browsing through the pictures. You
1747
01:16:55,600 --> 01:16:59,880
wanted me to become familiar with art.
1748
01:17:00,240 --> 01:17:03,880
>> Not that familiar.
1749
01:17:03,043 --> 01:17:05,920
>> [laughter]
1750
01:17:03,880 --> 01:17:07,760
>> Well, they're not all like that.
1751
01:17:05,920 --> 01:17:10,200
>> I should hope not.
1752
01:17:07,760 --> 01:17:10,360
>> I was just picking up a few points here
1753
01:17:10,200 --> 01:17:13,080
and there.
1754
01:17:10,360 --> 01:17:14,640
>> I appreciate that, Richard, but what I'm
1755
01:17:13,080 --> 01:17:16,798
going to be wearing is far more
1756
01:17:14,640 --> 01:17:18,818
important than WHAT THEY'RE NOT.
1757
01:17:16,798 --> 01:17:18,818
>> [laughter]
1758
01:17:23,348 --> 01:17:25,368
[laughter]
1759
01:17:30,553 --> 01:17:34,000
[laughter]
1760
01:17:31,480 --> 01:17:35,520
>> I THINK IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL.
1761
01:17:34,000 --> 01:17:36,960
>> Father's run off and you think it's
1762
01:17:35,520 --> 01:17:38,600
beautiful?
1763
01:17:36,960 --> 01:17:41,120
>> Well, it's so romantic that he should
1764
01:17:38,600 --> 01:17:42,960
run away at his age. All for the love of
1765
01:17:41,120 --> 01:17:45,200
Mrs. Clayton.
1766
01:17:42,960 --> 01:17:46,440
>> She seems to have that effect on people.
1767
01:17:45,200 --> 01:17:49,120
Didn't Mr. [laughter] Clayton leg it
1768
01:17:46,440 --> 01:17:50,840
away as fast as he could go?
1769
01:17:49,120 --> 01:17:52,320
>> You've got no poetry in your soul,
1770
01:17:50,840 --> 01:17:54,440
Alanslow.
1771
01:17:52,320 --> 01:17:56,754
>> Him, poetry?
1772
01:17:54,440 --> 01:17:58,774
He's not built FOR POETRY.
1773
01:17:56,754 --> 01:17:58,774
>> [laughter]
1774
01:17:59,160 --> 01:18:04,040
>> YOU CAN'T BE THE BREADWINNER AROUND HERE
1775
01:18:00,840 --> 01:18:04,040
AND poetic as well.
1776
01:18:07,888 --> 01:18:09,908
>> [applause]
1777
01:18:10,509 --> 01:18:13,480
[laughter]
1778
01:18:10,880 --> 01:18:16,160
>> Anyway, not to worry cuz I've got a
1779
01:18:13,480 --> 01:18:20,040
gentleman friend, Mr. Finchley, who has
1780
01:18:16,160 --> 01:18:22,680
the ideal vehicle for finding fathers.
1781
01:18:20,040 --> 01:18:24,919
>> Then let Mr. Finchley find father while
1782
01:18:22,680 --> 01:18:26,480
I stay here and follow the fillies.
1783
01:18:24,919 --> 01:18:28,680
>> [laughter]
1784
01:18:26,480 --> 01:18:31,160
>> Poor Daddy.
1785
01:18:28,680 --> 01:18:32,720
We must find him before he gets involved
1786
01:18:31,160 --> 01:18:34,520
in some battle.
1787
01:18:32,720 --> 01:18:37,400
>> He's not going to get involved in a
1788
01:18:34,520 --> 01:18:39,480
battle. Do you know which way he's gone?
1789
01:18:37,400 --> 01:18:41,720
>> To France.
1790
01:18:39,480 --> 01:18:44,480
Go to the roundabout and HEAD FOR
1791
01:18:41,720 --> 01:18:44,480
FRANCE.
1792
01:18:44,569 --> 01:18:46,589
>> [laughter]
1793
01:18:50,200 --> 01:18:52,600
>> WHICH WAY IS FRANCE?
1794
01:18:52,429 --> 01:18:54,800
>> [laughter]
1795
01:18:52,600 --> 01:18:57,014
>> What in heavens, Richard. Do you have to
1796
01:18:54,800 --> 01:18:59,034
rely on me for everything?
1797
01:18:57,014 --> 01:18:59,034
>> [laughter]
1798
01:19:00,120 --> 01:19:03,320
>> You should have turned left.
1799
01:19:01,800 --> 01:19:04,600
>> Left?
1800
01:19:03,320 --> 01:19:07,920
Well, are you sure? I was rather
1801
01:19:04,600 --> 01:19:07,920
thinking you MUST BE RIGHT.
1802
01:19:10,520 --> 01:19:14,760
>> NO, MY INSTINCT TELLS ME LEFT.
1803
01:19:15,960 --> 01:19:21,080
>> Right you are.
1804
01:19:17,760 --> 01:19:21,080
Left it is.
1805
01:19:31,730 --> 01:19:33,750
>> [laughter]
1806
01:19:39,280 --> 01:19:43,720
>> Good morning, Mr. Peabody.
1807
01:19:40,880 --> 01:19:43,720
>> Good morning, Rose.
1808
01:19:44,560 --> 01:19:48,080
>> Check the pubs. If he's going to fight
1809
01:19:46,360 --> 01:19:49,320
in the desert, he's bound to be thirsty.
1810
01:19:48,080 --> 01:19:50,760
>> I don't think they're in the desert
1811
01:19:49,320 --> 01:19:53,000
anymore.
1812
01:19:50,760 --> 01:19:55,680
Or cisterns well.
1813
01:19:53,000 --> 01:19:59,080
>> All that sand.
1814
01:19:55,680 --> 01:19:59,080
He never liked clean pubs.
1815
01:19:59,240 --> 01:20:01,260
>> [laughter]
1816
01:20:01,960 --> 01:20:05,640
>> Alone at last on zoo.
1817
01:20:04,480 --> 01:20:08,000
>> [laughter]
1818
01:20:05,640 --> 01:20:10,080
>> Aren't you worried about your father?
1819
01:20:08,000 --> 01:20:12,880
>> Not half as worried as you are about
1820
01:20:10,080 --> 01:20:12,880
your wife.
1821
01:20:12,920 --> 01:20:18,160
>> We can't stand here chatting. There's
1822
01:20:14,960 --> 01:20:18,160
racing on the telly.
1823
01:20:18,560 --> 01:20:24,120
>> There was a time when you used to chase
1824
01:20:21,520 --> 01:20:28,080
me all over the house.
1825
01:20:24,120 --> 01:20:28,080
>> That was before we got color, WASN'T IT?
1826
01:20:29,400 --> 01:20:34,080
>> HELLO. HELLO. IS THAT THE
1827
01:20:32,240 --> 01:20:36,000
OFFICE?
1828
01:20:34,080 --> 01:20:40,200
Good morning to you.
1829
01:20:36,000 --> 01:20:42,160
My name is Bouquet, B U C K E T.
1830
01:20:40,200 --> 01:20:43,760
I'd like your shipping forecast
1831
01:20:42,160 --> 01:20:46,240
department, please.
1832
01:20:43,760 --> 01:20:48,480
>> Do we really need the shipping forecast?
1833
01:20:46,240 --> 01:20:51,880
>> Richard, we're going yachting this
1834
01:20:48,480 --> 01:20:53,000
weekend. We need the shipping forecast.
1835
01:20:51,880 --> 01:20:55,520
>> Yes, but it's not
1836
01:20:53,000 --> 01:20:57,840
>> I will not embark on an expedition of
1837
01:20:55,520 --> 01:21:00,120
this magnitude without taking elementary
1838
01:20:57,840 --> 01:21:01,880
precautions.
1839
01:21:00,120 --> 01:21:03,680
>> The boat will not be actually moving.
1840
01:21:01,880 --> 01:21:05,396
We're spending the weekend tied up
1841
01:21:03,680 --> 01:21:07,416
alongside.
1842
01:21:05,396 --> 01:21:07,416
>> [laughter]
1843
01:21:08,080 --> 01:21:12,200
>> OH, HELLO. YES.
1844
01:21:09,600 --> 01:21:16,680
AND good morning to you.
1845
01:21:12,200 --> 01:21:18,600
Now, my husband and I are going yachting
1846
01:21:16,680 --> 01:21:21,440
this weekend, and we'd like your
1847
01:21:18,600 --> 01:21:23,800
shipping forecast.
1848
01:21:21,440 --> 01:21:24,920
Which area? Which area? [laughter]
1849
01:21:23,800 --> 01:21:27,680
>> Well, tell them. Tell them where the
1850
01:21:24,920 --> 01:21:31,000
boat is moored.
1851
01:21:27,680 --> 01:21:33,320
>> I don't have an exact compass bearing to
1852
01:21:31,000 --> 01:21:34,871
hand, but we'll be on the RIVER NEAR
1853
01:21:33,320 --> 01:21:36,891
OXFORD.
1854
01:21:34,871 --> 01:21:36,891
>> [laughter]
1855
01:21:37,800 --> 01:21:42,080
>> WELL, WHY AM I NOT ENTITLED TO a
1856
01:21:39,720 --> 01:21:44,440
shipping forecast?
1857
01:21:42,080 --> 01:21:47,000
Look, I may not be going as far as
1858
01:21:44,440 --> 01:21:49,240
Fisher German Bight, but are such things
1859
01:21:47,000 --> 01:21:52,556
as Cromarty, Dogger, and Heligoland
1860
01:21:49,240 --> 01:21:53,960
strictly reserved for special sailors?
1861
01:21:52,556 --> 01:21:56,360
>> [laughter]
1862
01:21:53,960 --> 01:21:57,840
>> Look, I warn you. If we get lost in a
1863
01:21:56,360 --> 01:21:59,106
hurricane, I'll report you to your
1864
01:21:57,840 --> 01:22:01,126
superiors.
1865
01:21:59,106 --> 01:22:01,126
>> [laughter]
1866
01:22:03,800 --> 01:22:07,120
>> Slowly past number 32. You're going too
1867
01:22:06,520 --> 01:22:08,720
fast.
1868
01:22:07,120 --> 01:22:10,600
>> I'm hardly moving.
1869
01:22:08,720 --> 01:22:11,840
>> I want them to see that we're going
1870
01:22:10,600 --> 01:22:13,400
yachting.
1871
01:22:11,840 --> 01:22:14,680
>> Why?
1872
01:22:13,400 --> 01:22:16,360
>> She puts her nose in the air when she's
1873
01:22:14,680 --> 01:22:18,120
going golfing.
1874
01:22:16,360 --> 01:22:20,480
I want her to get a good view of this
1875
01:22:18,120 --> 01:22:21,960
yachting cap.
1876
01:22:20,480 --> 01:22:24,652
>> She'll probably think you're selling ice
1877
01:22:21,960 --> 01:22:26,400
cream or something.
1878
01:22:24,652 --> 01:22:29,760
>> [laughter]
1879
01:22:26,400 --> 01:22:31,600
>> I I like that tone, Richard.
1880
01:22:29,760 --> 01:22:34,440
Though it's true she might mistake the
1881
01:22:31,600 --> 01:22:35,920
occasion unless she gets a better view.
1882
01:22:34,440 --> 01:22:37,080
>> STOP THE CAR.
1883
01:22:35,920 --> 01:22:39,240
>> NO, NOT HERE,
1884
01:22:37,080 --> 01:22:42,337
DEAR.
1885
01:22:39,240 --> 01:22:44,357
OUTSIDE NUMBER 32.
1886
01:22:42,337 --> 01:22:44,357
>> [laughter]
1887
01:22:45,800 --> 01:22:48,960
>> Now we both get out and wave goodbye to
1888
01:22:48,280 --> 01:22:50,840
Elizabeth.
1889
01:22:48,960 --> 01:22:53,800
>> This has gone indoors.
1890
01:22:50,840 --> 01:22:57,560
>> I can see that, Richard, but she can't
1891
01:22:53,800 --> 01:22:57,560
see that at number 32.
1892
01:22:59,367 --> 01:23:01,387
>> [laughter]
1893
01:23:07,800 --> 01:23:11,157
>> Is she watching?
1894
01:23:08,760 --> 01:23:11,720
>> I feel as though EVERYBODY'S WATCHING.
1895
01:23:11,157 --> 01:23:13,122
>> [laughter]
1896
01:23:11,720 --> 01:23:14,080
>> GOODBYE!
1897
01:23:13,122 --> 01:23:15,640
>> [crying and screaming]
1898
01:23:14,080 --> 01:23:16,600
>> BYE.
1899
01:23:15,640 --> 01:23:18,320
>> LOUDER, DEAR.
1900
01:23:16,600 --> 01:23:20,880
>> GOODBYE.
1901
01:23:18,320 --> 01:23:22,160
>> Now [laughter] say something nautical.
1902
01:23:20,880 --> 01:23:24,840
>> Like what?
1903
01:23:22,160 --> 01:23:26,760
>> Oh, good gracious, Richard. Do I have to
1904
01:23:24,840 --> 01:23:30,840
think of everything?
1905
01:23:26,760 --> 01:23:32,760
Say goodbye with a nautical flavor.
1906
01:23:30,840 --> 01:23:33,960
>> I only know ship ahoy. That's me
1907
01:23:32,760 --> 01:23:36,760
finished.
1908
01:23:33,960 --> 01:23:39,760
>> Well, that's no good, dear.
1909
01:23:36,760 --> 01:23:41,240
Now come on, heave-to and weigh anchor.
1910
01:23:39,760 --> 01:23:44,360
>> What?
1911
01:23:41,240 --> 01:23:45,872
>> Get in the car.
1912
01:23:44,360 --> 01:23:46,840
See you on board, dear.
1913
01:23:45,872 --> 01:23:50,458
>> [screaming]
1914
01:23:46,840 --> 01:23:52,478
>> COCKTAILS ON THE QUARTERDECK.
1915
01:23:50,458 --> 01:23:52,478
>> [laughter]
1916
01:23:59,600 --> 01:24:05,320
>> YOU'RE LETTING THE side down, Richard.
1917
01:24:03,160 --> 01:24:09,160
She didn't see you at number 32 because
1918
01:24:05,320 --> 01:24:09,160
you look most unseamanlike.
1919
01:24:09,280 --> 01:24:13,120
>> I am unseamanlike. I think it only fair
1920
01:24:11,560 --> 01:24:16,000
to warn you, Hyacinth, that I should
1921
01:24:13,120 --> 01:24:18,600
always be unseamanlike.
1922
01:24:16,000 --> 01:24:20,200
>> Nonsense. British people have the sea in
1923
01:24:18,600 --> 01:24:22,440
their blood.
1924
01:24:20,200 --> 01:24:25,280
>> All I've got is the undiluted red stuff,
1925
01:24:22,440 --> 01:24:28,080
and it's quite sufficient, thank you.
1926
01:24:25,280 --> 01:24:28,080
>> Thank you, sir.
1927
01:24:28,320 --> 01:24:32,378
Can I help you, madam?
1928
01:24:29,800 --> 01:24:33,800
>> What have you got FOR A YACHT?
1929
01:24:32,378 --> 01:24:36,800
>> [laughter]
1930
01:24:33,800 --> 01:24:39,440
>> MY HUSBAND NEEDS TO be kitted out for
1931
01:24:36,800 --> 01:24:39,440
our yacht.
1932
01:24:40,720 --> 01:24:43,720
>> I'm not sure we have anything suitable
1933
01:24:42,800 --> 01:24:46,040
in stock.
1934
01:24:43,720 --> 01:24:48,480
>> Oh, well, that's it, then. Let's be off.
1935
01:24:46,040 --> 01:24:51,680
>> We could order you something.
1936
01:24:48,480 --> 01:24:53,338
>> There's no time. We set sail this
1937
01:24:51,680 --> 01:24:54,240
afternoon.
1938
01:24:53,338 --> 01:24:57,000
>> [laughter]
1939
01:24:54,240 --> 01:25:02,360
>> Now, come here, Richard. Don't give up
1940
01:24:57,000 --> 01:25:02,360
so quickly. Let's see what we can find.
1941
01:25:03,920 --> 01:25:08,240
Well, you look much better, Richard.
1942
01:25:06,000 --> 01:25:11,400
Much more seaman-like. Quite the
1943
01:25:08,240 --> 01:25:11,400
nautical figure.
1944
01:25:12,280 --> 01:25:16,360
Richard!
1945
01:25:13,840 --> 01:25:18,229
Come along, Richard. We'll miss the
1946
01:25:16,360 --> 01:25:20,249
tide.
1947
01:25:18,229 --> 01:25:20,249
>> [laughter]
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