All language subtitles for Life.Larry.and.the.Pursuit.of.Unhappiness.An.Almost.History.of.America.S01E01.Livingston.HMAX.WEB.h264-ETHEL.en-US[sdh]

-♪ (POIGNANT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-This Fourth of July will mark
America's 250th birthday.

To honor this moment,
we want to take a look back

at some of the events,
people, and ideas

that helped shape and preserve

our grand experiment
in self-government.

Our Founding Fathers
drafted a charter

to guarantee the rule of law
and the rights of man.

Together, they established
a new nation,

one where power resided
not with a monarch,

but with ordinary citizens.

"We hold these truths
to be self-evident," they wrote.

"That all men
are created equal."

It was a radical idea,
revolutionary even.

But what truly makes
America unique

is the fact that we've always
been a work in progress.

-We're not perfect.
-♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC OVERLAPPING) ♪

We can be irascible,
petty, selfish, cheap.

And let's face it, some of us

will always find something
to complain about.

But as Americans,
we have always found a way

-to overcome these naysayers...
-♪ (STIRRING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

...these deeply
unpleasant people

who stood
in the way of progress.

These miserable, intolerable...

Did I mention petty?

Wretched--

Hey, none of that's
in the script!

♪ ("THE STARS
AND STRIPES FOREVER" PLAYING) ♪

SAMUEL L. JACKSON:
By the winter of 1775,

the Continental Congress
realized

that independence from Britain
was the only course of action.

A committee of five

was charged with drafting
an announcement explaining

the reasons for the rejection
of the monarchy,

a declaration of independence.

They were John Adams,
Thomas Jefferson,

Benjamin Franklin,

Roger Sherman,
and Robert Livingston.

It's common knowledge

-that Thomas Jefferson
wrote the first draft.
-(QUILL SCRAWLING)

JACKSON: But actually,
it was Robert Livingston

who took the first crack at it.

(CHUCKLES) And some say
that's exactly what he was on

-when he wrote it.
-(GAVEL POUNDING)

Gentlemen
of the Continental Congress,

we finally have a first draft

of the Declaration
of Independence,

written by
our esteemed colleague,

Robert Livingston.

-ATTENDEE: Here, here!
-(THUMPING, APPLAUDING)

Well done.

Well done.

Really didn't take me that long.
Only used two quills.

Two quills.

JOHN HANCOCK:
We are in gratitude.

Stop it.

But we agreed
that we would only have

-27 grievances.
-(ATTENDEES GRUMBLING)

Then all of a sudden you added
all of these other grievances.

Agreed. There are several,
and they are beyond perplexing.

Mr. Jefferson, I don't think
that we want to limit Rembrandt

on how many colors he can use
when he paints, do we?

(ATTENDEES CHUCKLING)

But we just have a few questions

about some of the things
that you wrote.

Like, "If someone invites you
to a dinner party,

you are legally
within your rights

as an American citizen

to ask who is coming
to that dinner party

before you accept."

Don't you want to know

who you're going to be spending
your evening sitting next to?

I got invited to a dinner
at Madison's a few weeks ago.

Alexander Hamilton
was at the same table.

Did I get a chance
to talk to Hamilton?

No, because I was seated next
to Madison's uncle,

-a tobacco farmer from Virginia.
-(ATTENDEES GROANING)

ROBERT LIVINGSTON:
What a waste of time that was,

plus the two hours getting there
in the coach.

Why leave the house?

Takes two hours
to get everywhere.

I wish I could put that
in the document.

HANCOCK: Robert, you want to put

into this
Declaration of Independence,

"It is illegal

-to share an umbrella."
-(ATTENDEES GROANING, MURMURING)

If it's raining,
bring your own umbrella.

Don't infringe
on someone else's.

What if the umbrella holder
offers to share the umbrella?

Well, if he does,
he's only doing it to be nice.

He doesn't want to share it.
It's not right.

You forgot your umbrella?
Too bad. Too bad.

Get wet. Live with it.
Don't get somebody else wet

'cause you're too stupid
to bring your own.

-(ATTENDEES GROANING, MURMURING)
-Sir, "After January 7th,

it is illegal to wish anyone
a Happy New Year"?

-(ATTENDEES GROANING)
-Precisely, Adams.

Even if it is the first time

you're encountering the person
in the New Year?

That's right, Franklin.
Even if it's the first time.

These "Happy New Years,"

they go on endlessly
and endlessly.

January 20th, "Happy New Year."
January 25th, "Happy New Year."

January 31st, "Ha--"
When... When does it end?

Why is this in here?

"It is illegal to take
deep breaths outside."

-(ATTENDEES GROANING)
-Well, it should be.

You want to see people
walking around going...

(SNIFFING) "Ah! Oh! Mm.
Uh, what a beautiful day."

(SNIFFING) "Mm. Uh! Oh!"

Here's another gem.
"No sharing desserts.

If you want a dessert, order it.
None of this, 'Pass it around.'"

We're not animals, Mr. Franklin,
all eating out of a trough.

We could all have our own forks.

Then we'll all take bites,
put the forks in our mouths,

put it back in the pie
after it's been in our mouths.

Mr. Franklin, it's unsanitary.

Sometimes I don't want
a whole slice of pie.

I just want a taste of pie.

Get your own
damn piece of pie, Franklin!

-(ATTENDEES MURMURING)
-"If you pick a line...

you have to stay in it"?

Of course
you have to stay in it.

Otherwise, it's just...
It's chaos.

"Oh, that line's moving faster.
I'll go over here.

Oh, no. Oh, oh, oh.
I don't want to go here."

And now, all of a sudden,
you're bumping into people,

and fights break out,

all because people want
to get on the line

that's moving faster?

No. You pick your line,
you stay in your line.

-That's how it works.
-(ATTENDEES MURMURING)

I disagree with that,

and I don't think
it should be in this document.

Oh, yeah,
you don't like that, Hancock?

I guess because
you don't have to wait in line.

You have your servants
doing that for you.

I have servants.
Do I treat them fairly?

I like to think so.

Do I spare the lash? Not always.

It's fun. It's fun, the lashing.

You smack 'em,
you smack 'em, you smack 'em,

you hear a little whimper,
and then you stop.

"Men shall refrain from fanning
themselves in public"?

Does anybody really want
to see this?

This is something you want
to see men do?

This? This motion?
Mr. Adams, I submit to you,

-do you want your son fanning?
-Eh.

As I thought.

He doesn't want his son fanning.
I don't want my son fanning.

I don't think any of you people
want your sons fanning.

Who's with me? Yea or nay?

ATTENDEES: Nay!

Here's another
that should not go in.

"It's illegal to tell someone
about your dream.

No matter how interesting
it may seem to the dreamer,

the others have no interest
in hearing about it."

-(ATTENDEES MURMURING)
-Gentlemen, we have a lifespan

of 38 years on this earth!

And we're going to waste it

listening
to other people's dreams?

I don't think so.

I am 70 years
on this earth, you fop.

Seventy? Apparently engaging
in cunnilingus

with French women
keeps one young.

You, sir, have discovered

-the fountain of youth.
-(ATTENDEES LAUGHING)

LIVINGSTON:
My congratulations to you.

"There should be
a national ban on toasting"?

"No gratuities"?

"If you begin
a new health routine,

keep it to yourself"?

"If you visit England,

don't suddenly return
with an English accent."

"It is illegal
to stroke one's beard"?

That should be in the document.

Here's a truth I hold
to be self-evident.

-You, sir, are an imbecile.
-(ATTENDEES LAUGHING)

Gentlemen, gentlemen,
what are we doing?

These are barely grievances.
They are petty complaints,

and they have nothing to do

with a declaration
of independence

from England and tyranny.

-ATTENDEES: Here, here!
-(THUMPING, APPLAUDING)

This is not just a declaration
of independence.

This is a declaration
of common sense.

In 250 years,
our descendants will thank us

for the great work
that we've done here,

making their lives
immeasurably better.

Gentlemen, are you with me?

-Yea or nay?
-ATTENDEES: Nay!

-A thousand times nay.
-Hmm.

Mr. Livingston,
thank you so much

for all of your hard work,

but I don't think
that any of this

is going into our declaration.

-Jefferson, want to take a shot?
-Yeah, I'll do it.

(CHUCKLES)
I won't be using any of this,

especially, "No clapping
along to the music

and expecting others
to join in."

(ATTENDEES LAUGHING)

-Marshals, escort him out.
-That won't be necessary.

Because I don't want
to live in a country

where people share umbrellas...

-♪ (STIRRING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-...take deep breaths outside,

change lines willy-nilly,

fan themselves,
stroke their beards,

share dreams and desserts.

Happy New Year, assholes!

♪ (LIVELY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC
PLAYING) ♪

-♪ (INTRIGUING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-JACKSON: On March 7th, 1876,

Alexander Graham Bell
successfully received a patent

-for a device
he called the telephone.
-(GEARS WHIRRING)

JACKSON: Days later,
in front of the public,

he made
the first ever telephone call

-to his assistant,
Thomas Watson.
-(TELEPHONE RINGING)

JACKSON: The first phone call

was a glorious day
for American innovation.

Alas, not so much for Bell.

♪ (INTRIGUING MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

-(CHATTER STOPS)
-♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪

Good afternoon,
ladies and gentlemen.

On behalf of my wife, Mabel,

I would like to welcome you
to our home.

Thank you for coming.

What you are about to witness
has never been seen before

-in human history.
-♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

I give you...

the telephone.

-(SPECTATORS GASPING)
-♪ (MUSIC STOPS) ♪

My assistant Watson
is in another building,

out of sight and sound.

But with this device,

I will be able
to communicate with him...

as if he was standing
right next to me.

(SPECTATORS GASPING)

I will pick up the phone
on my side,

-and it will ring on his.
-What kind of ring?

Normal ring.
It's just a ring. It's a ring.

It's a typical ring.

Maybe there could be
a menu of rings

that people could choose from.

Oh, yes. I would like mine
to sound like a doorbell.

I'd like mine
to sound like a clown horn.

MABEL GARDINER HUBBARD:
Or perhaps a bicycle ring,
you know?

-(IMITATES BICYCLE BELL)
-Oh! All... All wonderful ideas,

but hardly the point.

The point is, I'll be able
to communicate with someone

who is miles away.

What if
I'm at a piano recital, say,

and I don't want it to ring,
so it just vibrates

like a... like a Jew's harp
in your pocket?

(SPECTATORS GASPING)

Ah! Oh, that's just
a fascinating idea.

Oh, what if you could send
short little mess--

What if you invent your own?
Go off and invent your own.

That's not this.

You want something
that vibrates? Go!

Go invent it!
This is all nonsense!

Does anybody else have anything
else they'd like to add?

Are colors available?

-Or could it play like a song?
-(SPECTATORS MURMURING)

Are you done?

Would you like
to see a demonstration?

-Yes, yes.
-SPECTATOR 1: Please.

We don't know
why it's taking so long.

Would you please get out?

-Me?
-ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL: You.

-Yes, you.
-Oh! Oh, okay.

-Thank you. Lovely party.
-You. You!

-Get out!
-Thank you. Thank you so much.

-BELL: Get out!
-SPECTATOR 2: Thanks.

Who the hell is she?

-MABEL: I have no idea--
-What is she doing here?

I hate her! I don't even
feel like doing it now.

-(SPECTATORS GROANING)
-Oh, please!

I don't even want to do it.

Yes, you do want to do it.

You worked on it night and day
for months and months.

Sorry, I just thought
of one more thing

-that would be so fun--
-Shut up!

-Do you want to see this or not?
-MABEL: Yes, very much.

-(SPECTATORS MURMURING)
-Really? 'Cause it doesn't seem
like you do.

-MABEL: Everybody--
-It doesn't seem like you do.

It seems like you just want

-to hear yourselves talk.
-(SPECTATORS MURMURING)

Is that what you want?
Is that what you came here for?

(SPECTATORS MURMURING)

-God damn it!
-MABEL: Darling.

BELL: (SOFTLY)
Fucking assholes!

(SIGHS)

-(SWITCH CLICKS)
-(ELECTRICITY HUMMING)

-Mr. Watson, can you hear me?
-♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

-Indeed I can, Alexander.
-♪ (MUSIC TURNS JUBILANT) ♪

-(LAUGHS) He can hear me!
-(SPECTATORS APPLAUDING)

BELL: He can hear me! Watson!

This is a step forward

in science and communication.

I could not have done it
without your able assistance.

-It is a time for celebration.
-BELL: (OVER TELEPHONE) Indeed.

-So, um...
-♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪

(HESITATES) What are...
What are you doing?

-Not a lot.
-BELL: Uh-huh.

THOMAS WATSON: Um...

I'm sitting on a chair.

Yeah, yeah. (CHUCKLES)

Yeah, me too. Me too.
I'm on a chair.

-Uh, well...
-(SPECTATOR CLEARS THROAT)

Okay. Okay.

Alexander, do you remember

when we went
to that science convention?

-Where was that?
-Cleveland.

WATSON: We were at that hotel.

Do you remember
all of the hedges,

the topiary work that was done?

That landscaper was amazing.

-Yes, it was--
-WATSON: There were elephants

and seals,

-and there was the giraffe...
-Yeah.

...and I think they used a tree
for the giraffe's neck,

which I don't think it's fair.

I think when
you are doing topiary work,

you should be a purist.

-You only use the hedges.
-Yeah, okay, all right--

And the gardens!

-The gardens were beautiful.
-(SPECTATOR COUGHS)

You picked some lilies,
which I didn't think was right.

Yeah, all right. Okay.

-WATSON:
But you don't pick flowers...
-All right, we're good.

-...from someone else's garden.
-We're good.

I gotta take off, but, uh--

Oh, oh! You know what
I've been meaning to tell you?

Yeah, all right. Watson, um,

I got some people here.
I gotta get going.

-My cousin sent me a letter.
-Oh, my God.

WATSON: He met some people

with the last name Grahamm,
but two M's.

-(GROANS)
-WATSON: I put the letter aside.

You don't spell it ever
with two M's, do you?

-Watson, shut up!
-No. Why would you--

-BELL: Shut up, Watson.
-That's a hat on a hat.

Okay, they got two M's.

-WATSON: Yeah, but see--
-Watson, I got people here.

-WATSON: You know, you only--
-I gotta get off the phone.

You only use two M's
if you have to say "mm,"

or "yummy."

Do you know any Grahams
that spell with two M's?

No, I don't know any Grahams.

I don't know any Grahams
with one M.

I don't know any Grahamms
with two M's.

I don't know any Grahammms
with three M's.

-(RECEIVER CLUNKS)
-(METAL CLANGS)

-(SPECTATORS MURMURING FAINTLY)
-(SIGHS)

(TELEPHONE RINGING)

I think we got cut off.
Do you remember the ducks

and the little ducklings
followed behind?

But that was adorable.

It just hit me
when we were off--

♪ (LIVELY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC
PLAYING) ♪

-♪ (MARTIAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-JACKSON: The First World War
began in 1914

and pitted the Central Powers,
Germany, Austria-Hungary,

Bulgaria,
and the Ottoman Empire,

against the Allied powers,

France, Russia, Italy,
Great Britain, Romania,

Canada, and Japan.

The United States
joined the allies in 1917

-after Germany sank
many American ships...
-(SHIP HORN BLARING)

...including the luxury
cruise liner, The Lusitania,

which carried hundreds
of American passengers.

-(SOLDIERS YELLING)
-JACKSON: Nothing encapsulates
the horrors of this war

more than trench warfare,

-with its unprecedented levels
of destruction and carnage.
-(ARTILLERY FIRING)

JACKSON: By the end of the war,

more than 16 million people
were dead.

So many soldiers bravely fought

and died for their country.

Of course,
there were exceptions.

♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(SIGHS)
I don't think I can do this.

I've lost
so many friends already.

The good news is
now you don't have to worry

-about keeping in touch.
-♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪

Hey, if I don't make it back,
I need you to do me a big favor.

Can you...
Can you deliver this letter

to my girl, Greta?

-Me?
-PRIVATE WALLACE:
I have a few more lines

-I need to get down.
-(SCOFFS)

Listen, I'm very flattered.

That's very nice of you
to think of me in that light,

but, uh, you got the wrong guy.
I'm a-- I'm very irresponsible.

I... I lose stuff all the time.

One day, I was looking around
for my glasses,

and they were
on my head the whole day.

-I was looking
for hours and hours.
-SOLDIER 1: Incoming!

-(EXPLOSION)
-Ah!

WALLACE:
It has to be you. Please.

PRIVATE DAVID:
I can mail it, right?

No, I need you
to deliver this in person.

-Where does she live?
-Albuquerque.

Albuquerque? Are you kidding?

WALLACE: Thanks, David.
I'm gonna go finish this up.

Hey! Albuquerque?

I-- Why don't you
get Wojokowski?

He lives in Santa Fe.

-Wojo! Anybody seen Wojo?
-SOLDIER 2: No, sorry.

-You seen Wojo?
-No, no.

I was just saying I can't wait
to get back home to my Daisy.

-(DAVID SIGHS)
-PRIVATE SMITH:
That's what's waiting for me.

-Ah.
-What does that noise mean?

Yeah. Yeah.
(MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY)

-She's all right.
-Do you not think she's pretty?

No. Yeah, she's all right. Yeah.

She's "all right"?

-Yeah, if you like her.
-SMITH: Yeah.

-You like her?
-Yeah, yeah.

-There you go. Okay.
-Okay.

But you don't think
she's pretty?

I would take her
to the movies if she paid.

If she didn't pay...
Mm, not so sure.

I don't know.
Hey, she's not my type.

-Right.
-We all have types.

-Okay.
-She's your type.

Yeah, what's your type?

(MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY)
Yeah. Yeah.

More noises. Why are-- Why?

Sometimes noises
can be very expressive.

How hard is it to just say yes?

I say, "Is she pretty?"
You say, "Yes," and we move on.

Yeah, yeah. You know,
you startled me into honesty.

If you had come up to me
ten minutes ago and said,

"Hey, in ten minutes,
I'm gonna show you

a picture of my girlfriend,"

I could have come up with a lie

that would have
made you very happy.

-So, it's my fault?
-Mm... eh.

-What does the noise mean?
-Most likely.

-(SERGEANT BLOWS WHISTLE)
-♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

-All right, men. It's time.
-SOLDIER 3: It-- It's Sarge.

I need you to say your prayers
and prepare to charge.

On my command,
you will go over the top

into no man's land.

You will sprint
through a hail of bullets,

and you will get to Fritz

and you will go doolally
on those bastards.

Oh, we're gonna doolally.
I'm a doolally-er.

-I'm a doolally-er.
-SERGEANT: Can I get a doolally?

-A doolally.
-SOLDIERS: Doolally!

Are you ready
to go lick the Kaiser?

Oh. (ULULATING) Lick a, lick a,
lick a, lick a! Ooh, lick 'em.

Lick the Kaiser.

-Charge.
-DAVID: Charge.

-(SOLDIERS YELLING)
-SERGEANT: Up and over.
Over the top. Come on, men.

-Let's go.
-After you. Go ahead. After you.

Come on, David. Get up there.

-Come on. Keep going.
-Mommy!

-(EXPLOSIONS)
-(SOLDIERS CLAMORING)

♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

-(RAPID MACHINE GUN FIRE)
-(SOLDIERS YELLING)

-(WHIMPERS)
-(SOLDIERS YELLING)

-(WHIMPERS)
-(SOLDIER SCREAMS)

-(WHIMPERS)
-SERGEANT: Private David,

-move your ass!
-(SCREAMS)

-Come on, men! Let's go!
-(GROANS)

-SERGEANT: Keep moving!
-(SOLDIERS YELLING)

(EXPLOSION)

(SOLDIERS SCREAMING)

-♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪
-(SOLDIER GROANS)

Private Wallace,
stop playing with yourself

-and move out.
-WALLACE: Yes, sir.

SMITH: Uh, just a sec, Sarge.

All right.

(FLY BUZZING)

(SOLDIER GROANING)

(GRUNTS)

(GASPS, LAUGHS) I'm alive!

(GASPS)

-Oh, my God!
-Uh-huh.

-I'm alive! Oh, thank you, God!
-SMITH: What happened?

-What happened?
-What? I got shot!

-SMITH: Uh-huh.
-I got shot!

Where? I don't see a...
a bullet hole anywhere.

Huh? Oh.

-SMITH: Uh-huh.
-Wow.

The bullet must have
gone right through me.

-Uh-huh.
-It's a miracle.

-I'll get the medic.
-The medic? No, no, no, no.

Don't bother the medic.
He's got limbs to saw off.

He's got a lot of work to do.

-No medics whatsoever.
-Uh-huh.

You seem totally fine.

DAVID: You know what
must have happened?

I think a bullet whizzed
by my head.

-Uh-huh. Yeah.
-(MIMICS BULLETS WHIZZING)

-And I lost consciousness.
-Wow.

You seem really very,
very healthy, put together.

I was dead.
I believed I was dead.

-But no bullet, but dead.
-DAVID: No.

You know,
I thought it was the afterlife.

You're still kind of trapped

in your own head
in the afterlife.

You're still yourself, a person
you don't really like that much.

So, the afterlife is no bonus.

-There is an afterlife...
-SMITH: Uh-huh.

...but not the bonus
that you would want.

Can I propose
a different theory?

Sure.

I think
you pretended to get shot

and then laid down there

while the rest of us
were getting shot at.

That is without a doubt

the most insulting,
disgusting thing

anyone has ever said to me

-in my life.
-Uh-huh.

How dare you? How dare you?
Oh, okay. I think I get it.

This is about what I said
about Daisy, right?

Yeah, for sure. I've really
been thinking about it.

And I've been reevaluating
the entire situation.

And my assessment was so off.

I don't even know
what I was talking about.

She's a beauty.

Do you realize
how lucky you are?

Not only would I take her
to the movies and pay for her,

I would take her
to dinner and pay for her.

I would buy champagne,

and I would walk her
to her door.

And if she invited me in,
oh, well, you better believe...

-No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
-...I would go running in.

-Too far. It's too far.
That is too far.
-I would go--

Is there a way to make
a copy of a picture like that?

No. So, you didn't pretend
to get shot

and then lay on the ground
like a little baby?

Fuck, no. Fuck that!
Come on, man.

-I'll charge anytime.
-SMITH: Really?

-I love war.
-SMITH: You love it?

This... This to me,
this is living.

-Uh-huh.
-DAVID: This is living.

-SMITH: Right.
-I feel alive.

You know what? This is perfect.

You should volunteer
to lead the next charge.

No, I'm... I'm...
I'm a charger, not a leader.

-Hey, Sarge.
-Hey, what the fuck?

SMITH:
David wants to lead the charge.

DAVID: I never s--
No, I'm not a leader.

-That's outstanding.
-DAVID: I'm a charger.

-I'm not a leader.
-SERGEANT: I didn't think
you had the balls.

-I'm not-- I don't. I don't.
-It appears that you do.

No, no, but I don't.
He's... He's just saying that.

-Come on. Show us your balls.
-DAVID: I... I don't--

-Come on.
-DAVID: I-- What?

-Are you crazy?
-SERGEANT: Come on. Come on now.

I can't lead a charge.

First of all, I have a limp
and very undependable bowels.

SOLDIER: (GRUNTS) Easy.

Private David,
seems I underestimated you.

Here you are. You're gonna
lead us into battle.

-What? Me?
-That's right.

I... I can't carry the flag.
I'm too full from breakfast.

-Nonsense.
-DAVID: What?

You're the standard bearer
for the regiment.

-Carry the flag?
-That's right.

It's like carrying a banner
that says, "Shoot me."

-It's an honor.
-What? It's an--

I... I don't need any honors.

-I'm a very modest person.
-Take the flag.

(MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY)
No, you take it.

-SERGEANT: You take it. You!
-DAVID: No, no.

-WALLACE: Sarge wants me
to take a look.
-SMITH: All right.

Jesus! Half a hard-on, bastard!
You're gonna take this flag,

or I'm gonna stuff
this pole up your ass.

-Okay.
-(GUNSHOT CRACKS)

-(BULLET THUDS)
-(GRUNTS)

SMITH: They shot Wallace.

-(GROANS)
-♪ (SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

(GROANS)

(WHIMPERS)

(GROANS)

(GROANS LOUDLY)

(IN STRAINED VOICE) In person.

(WHEEZING)

(SIGHS)

♪ (LIVELY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC
PLAYING) ♪

-JACKSON:
On December 1st 1955...
-♪ (SLOW BLUES MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

...Rosa Parks was coming home
by bus in Montgomery, Alabama,

when she refused to give up
her seat to a White man

in violation of the city's
"Negroes in back" policy,

where the front of the bus
was reserved for Whites only.

But Rosa would not move.

-She was arrested...
-(CELL DOOR CLANKS SHUT)

...and her actions inspired
the Black community

to organize
the Montgomery Bus Boycott,

-led by a young
Martin Luther King, Jr.
-♪ (INDISTINCT SINGING) ♪

JACKSON:
It lasted more than a year

until the U.S. Supreme Court
ruled

that bus segregation
was unconstitutional.

-(GAVEL POUNDING)
-JACKSON: What Rosa Parks
did on that bus

made her a nationally recognized
symbol of dignity and strength

in the struggle to end
racial segregation.

But it's a little-known fact

that she had tried this
once before.

♪ (INTRIGUING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

(COINS CLINKING)

(CLEARS THROAT)

(PASSENGER SIGHS)

(COINS CLINKING)

(SIGHS)

Excuse me?

Driver.

-Get on to the back.
-No.

I said to get on
to the back of the bus.

And I said, "No."

Well, I'm gonna have
to have you arrested.

-Well, go on and do so.
-All right, then.

Seriously,
we're not doing this, okay?

I'm very comfortable here.

If she gets up,
that means I have to get up.

And then he's gonna slide in.
He may even want the aisle seat.

Maybe I'll get in a fight
with him. It's ridiculous.

She's sitting here.
Get in the back. Come on.

Move it out. You too.

-You, go ahead. Drive. Come on.
-(SCOFFS)

Yeah. (SCOFFS) ...you. Go ahead.

-(MUNCHES LOUDLY)
-(BUS DOORS CLOSING)

-That was very kind.
-Needed to be said.

Amen.

(MUNCHES LOUDLY)

-Where you heading?
-The market.

-The market?
-Mm-hmm.

Do a big shop.
You got a big shop going, huh?

-Is it a big shop?
-(CHUCKLES) No.

What are you gonna get?

-Vegetables, some peaches.
-Oh! What's your name?

-Rosa.
-I'm Murray.

-Nice to meet you.
-Nice to meet you, Rosa.

You know, I had an Aunt Rosa.

-Mm.
-Lovely woman.

And I must say,
she was quite voluptuous.

She had a bawdy sense of humor.

You could see
how that could spark

the imagination
of a 12-year-old boy. (CHUCKLES)

About your own aunt?

-Yeah.
-Did she marry into the family?

Oh, no. My mother's sister.

Huh.

MURRAY: Would you do me a favor?

I just want to take
this sweater off.

Could you pull that sleeve?

-(GRUNTS)
-(GRUNTS) Sir, it's...

-Oh, you--
-You're sweating a little bit.

-Thank you. Oh, that's better.
-All right. There you go.

-(SIGHS)
-Thank you.

Let me ask you this question.

-You're in somebody's house...
-(SIGHS)

...and your back
is really itching.

If you saw a back scratcher,

would you use
the back scratcher,

or would you rub it
against a corner and try and,

you know, get it...
get it yourself?

-No, I... I wouldn't use it.
-Oh, yeah.

That's like using
someone's toothbrush.

I disagree, Rosa.
The back is not a mouth.

-(SIGHS)
-MURRAY: How about this?

If there wasn't
a back scratcher,

you know what I would do?
I'd go into the kitchen,

-I'd get a fork...
-Uh-oh.

-...I'd go into the bathroom...
-No.

-...scratch the back...
-(SIGHS)

-Jesus.
-...wash the fork, return it,

and, oh, boy, Rosa,

there's no greater feeling
in the world

than scratching your back
with a fork.

-There you go. Problem solved.
-You have anything to read?

-(PASSENGERS CHUCKLING)
-MURRAY: No.

I guess I should bring stuff
to read on the bus, right?

Instead of just sitting here
looking around like an idiot.

-I like to read.
-Do you live alone?

-You know, Rosa, I do.
-Oh.

I have a lot of plants.

Most of them are dead
because I ignore them.

And I have a parakeet
who says my name.

(IMITATES PARAKEET)
"Murray! Murray!

Murray! Murray!

Murray! Murray!

How's Murray?"

You like the sound
of your own voice?

-Very much so.
-♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

Hey, Rosa, who's Paul Bunyan?

Do we like him or not?
I know he was a big guy.

People tell me you can't eat
all parts of a lobster,

but I don't find that
to be true.

What?

You never see a pie
cooling on a windowsill

like you do in the movies.
And believe me... (CHUCKLES).

...I've looked
in a lot of windows.

Why are you looking
through windows? For a pie?

Did you see Dragnet last night?

I knew who did it
from the first minute.

♪ (IMITATES "DRAGNET" THEME) ♪

♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪

-Might I ask you a question?
-(QUIETLY) Oh, Jesus.

If you got robbed,
would you prefer

that it was a Black man
or a White man who robbed you?

Good question, right?

Very interesting.
Think about it.

The sociological aspects
of that.

Why would I want to think
about being robbed?

I know, but if you had to.
Interesting--

Why do you think
about these things?

-(HESITATES) It just...
It just occurred to me.
-Are you a praying man?

I think it's
a waste of time, really.

We should pray
for your thoughts.

-Pray for my thoughts?
-Yes.

It might bring you
some peace and quiet.

-Do you sense I need peace?
-I do.

-What gives you that impression?
-Just about everything.

-Okay.
-Come on,

-we gonna close our eyes?
Come on now.
-Close my eyes?

-Okay. My eyes are closed.
Okay, yeah.
-Close your eyes.

(SIGHS) Oh, Father God, we pray
for Mr. Murray today, Lord.

-Usher in your spirit.
Cover him.
-(MUNCHES LOUDLY)

-Bring him peace of mind, God.
-Yeah.

-Silence his thoughts.
-(MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY)

And now, Murray, would you like
to share anything with the Lord?

-Oh, yeah, yeah. Sure. Yeah.
-Yeah, you take over.

Yeah, you know, Lord,
you must be aware

that I really haven't had sex
in about eight years, so...

-Oh, Jesus.
-You know that.

So maybe you could help me out
a little bit,

send somebody my way.

You know,
I'm not that particular.

She could be
a little overweight.

Don't send me
an elephant, of course,

-but, you know,
reasonably overweight is fine.
-(WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY)

MURRAY: I don't care.

Maybe even a redhead
would be nice.

You know, I... I don't--
Yeah, redhead.

Hey, Rosa. Hey,
where are you going?

I'm going
to the back of the bus,

but you keep praying, Murray.

-Come on, y'all. Deal me in.
-(PASSENGERS CHEERING)

Anyway, like I was saying,

a redhead,
that would be spectacular.

Really.
Not too many freckles, though.

♪ ("THE STARS
AND STRIPES FOREVER" PLAYING) ♪

♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪