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Little Billy is using the internet to learn all about homosexuality.
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Billy doesn't know that he's only moments away from being sucked into a stinking pit
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of alternative lifestyle pornographic depravity.
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Did you know that this terrible tragedy is repeated thousands of times every day?
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Hello, I'm your narrator. Little Billy here could have been saved from this horrible internet death.
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If only the government could have been permitted to brand a red letter H on the forehead of every suspected homosexual,
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implant microchips into their cerebral cortexes, force them into concentration camps,
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blame them for all of society's problems, we would have a better planet to live on today.
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Perverts all over the world are able to molest our children in their own bedrooms with this sewer line of filth, the internet.
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We, the Catholic mothers with too much time on our hands, finally have a cause worth fighting for.
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Are you with me ladies? Yes. When does the queer porno start? Madonna, would you be a dear?
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Look, it's the Pope.
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Ladies, don't let a little bit of goodness fool you. This internet is a nest of sodomizing serpents. Madonna, show them.
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My favorite is Alt Binary's new, Hunky Beef, Mendes.
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Oh my lord. Is there more of this in there?
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Sure, millions.
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Ladies, to destroy this monstrosity we must start right here in our own backyards with the very symbols of teenage sexual depravity.
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Cheerleader computer geniuses from Happy Valley High.
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I'm so glad our daughters go to parochial school.
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I hear they give out condoms at Happy Valley High.
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At Blessed Virgin's Sacrifice, they sell the condoms, make the fornicators pay, I say.
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My daughter is such a good little girl. Right, Madonna?
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Ow! Little bastards kicking up a storm in there. It feels like reef fries.
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These so-called cheerleaders are promoting this internet filth with their wanton display of blossoming sexuality.
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How dare they show their cute, perky breasts and their long, muscular legs and slim hips
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and peach-hard backsides that are begging to be spanked with a wet leather strap.
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Oh, I think my water just broke.
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Ladies, we will destroy these cheery internet pussies with their worst arch enemy.
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Pom-pom girls? I hated pom-pom girls.
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Oh no, Christian soldiers. We will use the one person who hates cheerleaders more than we hate Protestants.
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Fear not, good ladies. With God on our side and a few smuggled semi-automatic weapons,
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we can save our children's souls from this internet gay kiddie porn perversion.
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Don't bring up that one of Sean Connery again.
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Oh look, it's John Travolta dancing in the room.
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Okay, children, we've got a big game to start against arch rivals Blessed Virgin's sacrifice.
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So let's practice those new cheers.
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Ready?
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Okay!
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Go, pastors, take that ball! Kill, kill, kill them all!
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Eek their livers, drink their blood, pound their heads into the mud!
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Break their legs, crush their knees, make it hurt bad where they pee!
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Shoot their girlfriends, burn their houses, kill their extended family!
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Go team!
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Go go, hamsters! Don't run away! Show the crusaders your toilet tray!
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Don't know why you kick and scream or why you smell like Vaseline!
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We don't like you, ooh ooh ooh! Your breath is like camel dew!
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Johnny, Johnny, he's our man, if he can't do it, we'll eat spam!
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How funky is your chicken? How loose is your stool?
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If you're running for the restroom, you're a major fool!
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Oh Angela, you're my sugar, my honey honey!
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Maverick, she doesn't even know you exist.
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She's just in denial.
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Big red apple, throbbing banana, monkey love from Indiana!
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That's a fib, that's a lie, we are girls with dairy thighs!
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Chubby, I've got to find a way to make her mine.
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Short of getting a personality transplant? I think you're stuck with Netlove.com.
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Ready?
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Okay! Two bits, four bits, six bits, a dollar! You need a major credit card to make us holler!
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Face it Maverick, like every other nerd out here, you're riding the baloney pony.
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I thought it was the slippery sausage stick-ship.
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You mean the hand-handed spam slammer that Frank Perda follows around?
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With a hot beef rejection.
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Ah man!
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Ready?
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Okay! You suck, you suck, you really really really really suck!
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Come on, we've got to get that footage on our website in half an hour. We've got subscribers waiting.
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So what do you guys really think of my sock chair?
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I don't know Heather, it's really hard to get anything to rhyme with suck.
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Hey guys, look we're starting in a poster.
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What the hell?
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When did we post for this?
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Who put us in a poster with computer geeks?
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Oh then it's Dick Wackmeister, that guy in Home Ec with hair on his palms.
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Is that the guy who smells like he french kissed the butts of dead goats?
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No! Computer geeks?
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Nerd!
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I'm gonna kill those little worms. I hate worms.
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Oh, they remind me of worms.
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Come on girls, let's go kick some geek butt.
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Good morning girls!
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Let's have today's prayer. Oh my god!
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Well, okay now let's take a roll.
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Hannah?
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Kiss my ass.
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Abigail?
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Abigail?
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I'm gonna kill you and all your family!
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I sense a little father daughter hostility conflict my dear.
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Chloe? Chloe?
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My favorite movie is The Exorcist.
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The cross we'll all have to bear. Bethany?
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Here.
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Bag it.
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Oh well, today's discussion is how to run a death cab for cheerleaders.
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Now let's start today's topic with gas chambers. Still useful or pathetic?
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So it's true. You really don't like cheerleaders.
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Mrs. Head Catholic Mother!
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The one with the dirty knees.
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If I had known you were coming I would have straightened out.
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Jesus, that's impossible.
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If you really hate the Happy Valley cheerleaders, we have a little side job for you.
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Oh, I might be available.
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Tell me, Stephen, why do you hate the Happy Valley cheerleaders so much?
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I remember like it was just last year.
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Got a flashback? Time to go get popcorn.
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Or step out for a nice refreshing beverage.
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God, how can you drink that stuff without coke?
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Oh, this is a really good flashback.
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I remember I was at last year's cheerleader tryout.
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Chew em! Chew em! Spew em!
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Oh, did I make it? Did I make it?
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Sorry, we just don't allow your type.
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Oh, well what about him?
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That's different. He's cute. And probably curable.
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So, you won't even let me be on your team?
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I'm not going to let you be on my team.
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So, you won't even let me be on your stupid little cheerleading squad, eh?
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Well, you're doomed. Doomed!
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Doomed!
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And I spit on your cute little cheerleader shoes.
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You suck! You really, really, really suck!
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But I look so good this dark.
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Wow. Like, go have one of those animals that give milk at the supermarket.
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Do you really think he means it?
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You mean, like, sometime in the future he might set some dastardly plan into action and make his revenge against us?
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Get real.
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Next!
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God, don't you just hate flashbacks?
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Not when they reveal vital character motivation that drives the plot forward, like that one just did.
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Ah, blot out your ass, Abby.
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Oh, well as long as I can have my re-re-revenge on those Happy Valley cheerleaders, then I'm your man. So to speak.
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What a great cross-promotional tie-in.
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A remote control for your love doll.
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Oh, yeah, just think of the possibilities.
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Wonder Twin powers, activate.
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Oh, wow. I finally realized just how attractive nerds really are. What's my name?
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How about Angela?
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Oh, yes.
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Okay, now how about some cheers?
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Oh, okay.
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Ready? Okay.
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Go hamsters, rip that shit.
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I forgot my underwear.
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Bloomer's, but who's spell checking?
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You're so smart.
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I'm hot. Can I take off my shirt?
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Shit.
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Jesus H. Mohamed Buddha.
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How do you think you're doing, bitch?
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My goddamn heart stopped.
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Are you okay, baby?
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I was going to use a condom.
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Fuck your condom!
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It's mine! You, you fuck!
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Like it doesn't wash.
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Okay, Todd, which one of your computer geek friends did this, nerd?
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Hardly. My nerdism is recessive, allowing me to be cuter than a straight Tom Cruise and run the school newspaper, as well as my own multi-million dollar software company. And I'm only a junior.
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Yeah, well, we've got our own brand of underwear.
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This is a kind of software, isn't it?
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I swear, if I wasn't getting a college scholarship for awareness uniform, I'd sell you both to white slavers.
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Is that what core people shop?
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You want to find the real computer geeks? They have a clandestine computer lab in the basement.
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Oh, but be careful. It gets mighty slippery on Friday afternoons.
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What does he mean by that?
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You're going in first. And wear some old shoes.
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My old shoes!
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Oh, my God.
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Intruder alert! Intruder alert! Alarm tripped at main entrance!
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Oh, God, Maverick, there are real girls out there! I repeat, real girls!
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It's Angela and the cheerleaders!
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Red alert! Shields to maximum! Set phasers to stun!
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I'm too late! I got it under the bathroom!
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Oh, my God! Both the bridge! Both the bridge!
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Do you think this is it?
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I think we can all get pregnant just from the fumes.
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Oh, gosh, nobody breathe. Hold your breath.
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Imperial strong troopers at the main entrance!
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We're all doomed.
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Doomed, I say!
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Okay, girls, let's give it the old hamster jam. Now!
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Nerds!
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Maverick, I thought I smelled your foul stench when I was brought aboard.
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We're on a diplomatic mission.
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I think you're on an e-mission. 24 hours a day.
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Listen, self-lover, we're not one of your internet invaders,
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so stop saluting your private parts down there while pretending we somehow know you.
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And wipe that smile off your butt!
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Angela, I swear, we didn't make the poster.
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And that's why the name of your Wackfest club is all over it.
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Maverick's right. We don't have the money to print flyers.
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You ever see what battery clamps can do to improperly abuse erectile tissue?
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Take down every single poster in school or you'll find out!
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Come on, girls, let's go.
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This place smells like a porno theater during happy hour.
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I thought every hour was happy hour at the porno theater.
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I just love it when she's bitchy.
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I'm gonna make her a little bit more bitchy.
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I just love it when she's bitchy. I'm gonna make that girl mine.
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Right. And someday, those fake vaginas will be cheap enough for all of us to afford.
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Face it, Maverick, that flyer was a cheap ploy to get her to notice you.
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No, guys, I really didn't make the poster. I would have made her boobs bigger.
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Now, remember, girls, keep your eyes open for those stupid internet posters.
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Now, remember, girls, keep your eyes open for those stupid internet posters.
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Now, remember, girls, keep your eyes open for those stupid internet posters.
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How can I walk without my eyes open?
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Not so fast, Angela.
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As head of the cheerleading squad, say hello to your new recruit, Jane, an exchange student from Kentucky.
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What am I supposed to do with her, Miss Dyke?
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That's Dyke! Like Nike.
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Your job is to get her acclimated to Happy Valley High.
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Your job is to get her acclimated to Happy Valley High.
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She wants to be a cheerleader.
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So, short of removing half her brains, teach her not to think so much.
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Miss Dyke!
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Angela, if I weren't your principal, I'd bitch slap you and hogtie you to a dentist chair.
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Damn, that's my uterus. I mean my gynecologist.
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So, Jane, why do you want to be a cheerleader?
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Well, I was thinking it'd be nice to meet a boyfriend who wasn't my brother.
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A father, cousin, or father.
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Oh, where'd they go? Every girl's a stride board.
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You are so incredibly hot. Come here.
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Oh, God.
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Now, Jane, if you're gonna get anywhere at Happy Valley High, you've just got to learn the lingo.
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Yeah, if something's cool, it's the shit.
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And if it's really cool, it's the bomb.
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And if you meet a guy you like, tell him you clean sphincters with your tongue.
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Sphincter what?
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Yeah, yeah. Keep saying what, and you'll make the perfect cheerleader.
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And don't forget duh.
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Duh.
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You're such a tar.
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Kinda makes you wonder what they do with petroleum jelly and toast.
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Oh, God. It's raining.
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O Lord, we beseech thee, grant us thy strength in the coming apocalypse,
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that we may win this battle between good and evil.
236
0:19:30,599 --> 0:19:35,599
And Lord, please help us to kick some serious cheerleader ass.
237
0:19:35,599 --> 0:19:37,599
Amen.
238
0:19:39,599 --> 0:19:40,599
Ready?
239
0:19:41,599 --> 0:19:42,599
Break!
240
0:19:44,599 --> 0:19:46,599
Make sure you rip a few shirts.
241
0:19:46,599 --> 0:19:48,599
Ours are theirs.
242
0:19:49,599 --> 0:19:50,599
Both.
243
0:19:54,599 --> 0:19:56,599
I really do like my suck cheer.
244
0:19:56,599 --> 0:19:57,599
I think it really sucks.
245
0:19:57,599 --> 0:19:58,599
My suck cheer does not suck.
246
0:19:58,599 --> 0:19:59,599
It sucks.
247
0:19:59,599 --> 0:20:00,599
It does not.
248
0:20:00,599 --> 0:20:01,599
Yes it does.
249
0:20:01,599 --> 0:20:02,599
It doesn't suck.
250
0:20:02,599 --> 0:20:03,599
Yes it does.
251
0:20:03,599 --> 0:20:04,599
My suck cheer does not suck.
252
0:20:04,599 --> 0:20:05,599
Girls!
253
0:20:05,599 --> 0:20:07,599
So what do you guys think of our new dorketeer Jane?
254
0:20:07,599 --> 0:20:09,599
I think that sphincter thing was mean.
255
0:20:09,599 --> 0:20:11,599
She's the one that wanted to be famous.
256
0:20:11,599 --> 0:20:13,599
Freeze cheerleader bimbos!
257
0:20:18,599 --> 0:20:19,599
Shhh.
258
0:20:27,599 --> 0:20:28,599
Stefan!
259
0:20:28,599 --> 0:20:31,599
What are you doing with a bunch of teenage girls?
260
0:20:31,599 --> 0:20:33,599
This is one for the exiles.
261
0:20:33,599 --> 0:20:37,599
We are here to destroy the very symbols of pornographic sleave,
262
0:20:37,599 --> 0:20:40,599
the cheerleaders of the internet invaders.
263
0:20:41,599 --> 0:20:43,599
I knew that fire was going to screw us.
264
0:20:43,599 --> 0:20:46,599
Somebody's not wearing their happy faces.
265
0:20:46,599 --> 0:20:48,599
They're tattooed on our asses.
266
0:20:48,599 --> 0:20:50,599
At least they're somewhere.
267
0:20:51,599 --> 0:20:55,599
We're going to cut off your pretty little heads and go bowling.
268
0:20:55,599 --> 0:20:57,599
Ugh, bowling?
269
0:20:57,599 --> 0:20:59,599
Get them my pretties!
270
0:20:59,599 --> 0:21:00,599
Look at them!
271
0:21:02,599 --> 0:21:04,599
Ninja formation, now!
272
0:21:05,599 --> 0:21:07,599
Wait a minute, we don't even know kung fu.
273
0:21:07,599 --> 0:21:09,599
Or even any kung pow.
274
0:21:09,599 --> 0:21:11,599
Oh, they're going to kick our asses.
275
0:21:16,599 --> 0:21:17,599
Yeah!
276
0:21:26,599 --> 0:21:28,599
So that's what a pop field fight is.
277
0:21:34,599 --> 0:21:38,599
And here we are with today's super match.
278
0:21:38,599 --> 0:21:43,599
The Catholic Reform School girls taking on the Happy Valley cheerleaders.
279
0:21:43,599 --> 0:21:45,599
And it looks like quite a cat fight out there.
280
0:21:47,599 --> 0:21:48,599
Meow!
281
0:21:50,599 --> 0:21:51,599
Meow!
282
0:21:56,599 --> 0:21:57,599
Meow!
283
0:21:59,599 --> 0:22:00,599
Meow!
284
0:22:07,599 --> 0:22:08,599
Meow!
285
0:22:16,599 --> 0:22:21,599
And the big question on everyone's mind is, will we get to see a little DNA?
286
0:22:27,599 --> 0:22:29,599
That's what I'm here for.
287
0:22:39,599 --> 0:22:40,599
J. Cruz?
288
0:22:41,599 --> 0:22:42,599
J. Peterman.
289
0:22:42,599 --> 0:22:43,599
You bitch.
290
0:22:46,599 --> 0:22:48,599
Die, hamsters, die.
291
0:23:16,599 --> 0:23:17,599
This sucks.
292
0:23:17,599 --> 0:23:19,599
I stuffed my shoes.
293
0:23:19,599 --> 0:23:23,599
I've got an idea. I saw this in the cheesy afternoon TV show.
294
0:23:23,599 --> 0:23:25,599
Follow me, girls. Fast zoom out. Now!
295
0:23:38,599 --> 0:23:42,599
Well, that went over well. You don't suppose they'll want to go shopping with us, do you?
296
0:23:47,599 --> 0:23:49,599
No, I don't think so.
297
0:23:49,599 --> 0:23:54,599
Say your prayers, Debbie Cakes. We'd say them for you, but we skipped the day they taught Zoom Die prayers.
298
0:23:54,599 --> 0:23:56,599
I'll look great in their cheer skirt.
299
0:23:56,599 --> 0:23:59,599
Her head will look great mounted in our garage.
300
0:23:59,599 --> 0:24:01,599
I just want their socks.
301
0:24:01,599 --> 0:24:03,599
I don't get it.
302
0:24:03,599 --> 0:24:06,599
Hey, you hussy bitch slut.
303
0:24:06,599 --> 0:24:07,599
I'm sorry, girls.
304
0:24:12,599 --> 0:24:17,599
Nobody messes with my friends. Even as brainless and shallow and as sexy as they may be.
305
0:24:17,599 --> 0:24:20,599
Thanks, dude. You're so sweet.
306
0:24:20,599 --> 0:24:22,599
Where'd you get those shoes?
307
0:24:28,599 --> 0:24:35,599
Well, girls, the way I see it, we can attack her one at a time and get creamed, or we can attack her all at once and cream her.
308
0:24:35,599 --> 0:24:37,599
Um, okay.
309
0:24:37,599 --> 0:24:39,599
Go! Go!
310
0:24:41,599 --> 0:24:43,599
Oh, so the whores are back for more, are ya?
311
0:24:52,599 --> 0:24:54,599
Five-O! Let's split!
312
0:24:56,599 --> 0:24:59,599
This fight scene has been brought to you by Preparation B.
313
0:24:59,599 --> 0:25:06,599
You know the pain of flaring hemorrhoids can be relieved with nothing more than Preparation B and a large spoon.
314
0:25:10,599 --> 0:25:12,599
You haven't seen the last of us, virgins!
315
0:25:12,599 --> 0:25:15,599
Wow, you're virgins too?
316
0:25:15,599 --> 0:25:21,599
No, there's a comma after the us. You haven't seen the last of us, comma, virgins?
317
0:25:21,599 --> 0:25:23,599
Well, what's a comma, virgin?
318
0:25:25,599 --> 0:25:27,599
Let's go, girls.
319
0:25:29,599 --> 0:25:31,599
Wow! Who called the cops?
320
0:25:32,599 --> 0:25:35,599
Somebody had to distract those delinquents.
321
0:25:37,599 --> 0:25:39,599
Here, boy, a biscuit.
322
0:25:39,599 --> 0:25:42,599
Yeehaw! Jane, you saved the day!
323
0:25:43,599 --> 0:25:49,599
I should have let him kill you after that sphincter joke. I had to brush my teeth for an hour after the first guy I talked to.
324
0:25:49,599 --> 0:25:52,599
At least you met someone. Was he nice?
325
0:25:52,599 --> 0:25:54,599
Nah, he's a real asshole.
326
0:25:59,599 --> 0:26:02,599
You did a good job today. Here's your thirty pieces of silver and a corndog.
327
0:26:05,599 --> 0:26:08,599
I said a side of Crisco, not Mayo.
328
0:26:08,599 --> 0:26:13,599
You gave those cheerleaders something to think about. But we need to strike a bigger blow.
329
0:26:13,599 --> 0:26:14,599
Blow?
330
0:26:14,599 --> 0:26:18,599
I want you to replace every filthy picture on the internet with this.
331
0:26:18,599 --> 0:26:20,599
Picture of Sean Connery naked?
332
0:26:20,599 --> 0:26:24,599
No, not with that! With this, the picture of the pope!
333
0:26:24,599 --> 0:26:31,599
But I don't know anything about the internet. To do this, we're going to need the services of a computer geek.
334
0:26:31,599 --> 0:26:35,599
We'll do whatever it takes. Just as long as we're not going to be a problem.
335
0:26:35,599 --> 0:26:37,599
I'm going to be a problem.
336
0:26:37,599 --> 0:26:39,599
I'm going to be a problem.
337
0:26:39,599 --> 0:26:41,599
I'm going to be a problem.
338
0:26:41,599 --> 0:26:43,599
I'm going to be a problem.
339
0:26:43,599 --> 0:26:45,599
I'm going to be a problem.
340
0:26:45,599 --> 0:26:51,599
We'll do whatever it takes. Just as long as it doesn't involve photographing any teenage boys.
341
0:26:59,599 --> 0:27:01,599
Bitch.
342
0:27:02,599 --> 0:27:03,599
Bitch.
343
0:27:05,599 --> 0:27:07,599
Do we really have to go in there?
344
0:27:07,599 --> 0:27:09,599
Oh, I don't want to have to hold my breath again.
345
0:27:09,599 --> 0:27:12,599
Girls, we need to learn some kung fu.
346
0:27:12,599 --> 0:27:16,599
Last time we were here, Maverick was working on a webpage for Ninja Master.
347
0:27:16,599 --> 0:27:20,599
And if we run into those reform school girls again, we're going to need to know some kung fu.
348
0:27:20,599 --> 0:27:22,599
Okay.
349
0:27:26,599 --> 0:27:29,599
And these were worn by Angie.
350
0:27:29,599 --> 0:27:35,599
A real cheerleader during a recent fight with some Catholic school girls. It was quite yummy.
351
0:27:35,599 --> 0:27:41,599
Never watched. Let's start the bidding at 50. Do I hear 50?
352
0:27:43,599 --> 0:27:45,599
Fuck.
353
0:27:46,599 --> 0:27:51,599
Look, I know it's difficult to imagine that a real live girl actually wore these panties.
354
0:27:51,599 --> 0:27:54,599
But, I've got the video.
355
0:27:54,599 --> 0:27:57,599
Give me back my underwear, you little butt.
356
0:27:57,599 --> 0:28:01,599
New issue of Penthouse is all in the stands. Shoo! Go away.
357
0:28:06,599 --> 0:28:09,599
How did you get my underwear?
358
0:28:09,599 --> 0:28:11,599
He gave me $50.
359
0:28:11,599 --> 0:28:16,599
I needed new shoes. You sold my used underwear for $50?
360
0:28:16,599 --> 0:28:18,599
I resell them for $100.
361
0:28:18,599 --> 0:28:20,599
Keep your shorts on.
362
0:28:22,599 --> 0:28:26,599
Maverick, are you making a webpage for Ninja Master?
363
0:28:26,599 --> 0:28:29,599
Maybe. What's it to you?
364
0:28:29,599 --> 0:28:33,599
It will rule the powers of the ninja.
365
0:28:34,599 --> 0:28:41,599
Angela, join me and together we can rule the galaxy as geek and chid.
366
0:28:41,599 --> 0:28:45,599
Chubby, take off that stupid mask.
367
0:28:46,599 --> 0:28:50,599
I might have the information that you seek. What's it worth to you?
368
0:28:50,599 --> 0:28:55,599
Name your price, latex lumber, or I'll beat the information out of you.
369
0:28:55,599 --> 0:28:58,599
Well, how about a date? With me?
370
0:28:58,599 --> 0:29:01,599
No way. I'd rather be dead. Let's go, girls.
371
0:29:01,599 --> 0:29:05,599
How about just pictures of you in those panties?
372
0:29:06,599 --> 0:29:09,599
Geez, if you guys were such total dweebs.
373
0:29:09,599 --> 0:29:11,599
Then you'd go out with me?
374
0:29:11,599 --> 0:29:15,599
No, but there's a few blind girls I could probably bribe.
375
0:29:18,599 --> 0:29:22,599
Can they smell? Because these guys do.
376
0:29:22,599 --> 0:29:26,599
Whoa, 7.5 on the rectum scale, Flamer.
377
0:29:26,599 --> 0:29:29,599
God, I think his gerbil just died.
378
0:29:29,599 --> 0:29:37,599
I'll tell you what, Maverick. From now on, at school, I'll notice you when I walk by.
379
0:29:37,599 --> 0:29:39,599
And? And?
380
0:29:39,599 --> 0:29:41,599
And pretend you exist.
381
0:29:41,599 --> 0:29:43,599
Deal.
382
0:29:43,599 --> 0:29:45,599
Ooh.
383
0:29:46,599 --> 0:29:48,599
Here's Loda's URL.
384
0:29:48,599 --> 0:29:50,599
You're a what?
385
0:29:59,599 --> 0:30:03,599
The good Catholic mothers want to put poke pictures on the internet.
386
0:30:03,599 --> 0:30:06,599
You and I both want something more.
387
0:30:06,599 --> 0:30:08,599
Oh, well, I hardly know you.
388
0:30:08,599 --> 0:30:11,599
Revenge. Pure and simple.
389
0:30:11,599 --> 0:30:15,599
I represent people who will give you your wildest dream.
390
0:30:15,599 --> 0:30:18,599
You mean like, the people who will give you your wildest dream?
391
0:30:18,599 --> 0:30:21,599
Yeah, the people who will give you your wildest dream.
392
0:30:21,599 --> 0:30:24,599
I'm not sure I'm going to be able to do that.
393
0:30:24,599 --> 0:30:28,599
I represent people who will give you your wildest dream.
394
0:30:28,599 --> 0:30:35,599
You mean like Keanu Reeves and Brad Pitt chained naked to a grease telephone pole?
395
0:30:35,599 --> 0:30:39,599
It seems as if Angela has a deep, dark secret.
396
0:30:39,599 --> 0:30:42,599
What, she likes black guys?
397
0:30:42,599 --> 0:30:47,599
No. A secret that would destroy her reputation as a brainless cheerleader.
398
0:30:47,599 --> 0:30:52,599
I like black guys. I was at the summer camp at Harlem once.
399
0:30:52,599 --> 0:30:55,599
Here's Angela's college scholarship application.
400
0:30:55,599 --> 0:30:58,599
Use this information only when you absolutely must.
401
0:30:58,599 --> 0:31:02,599
Oh, important plot points for the end of the movie.
402
0:31:02,599 --> 0:31:05,599
Geez, I wish I could open it now.
403
0:31:05,599 --> 0:31:08,599
So anyway, what should I call you?
404
0:31:08,599 --> 0:31:16,599
Mr. No Name? Mr. Mysterious? Mr. Unknown?
405
0:31:16,599 --> 0:31:20,599
Just call me...X.
406
0:31:20,599 --> 0:31:22,599
What an idea!
407
0:31:22,599 --> 0:31:24,599
Go switch your hat.
408
0:31:30,599 --> 0:31:34,599
Whoa! What a man!
409
0:31:51,599 --> 0:31:53,599
Ugh!
410
0:32:02,599 --> 0:32:06,599
I am Master Loda. Horrible, big Loda.
411
0:32:06,599 --> 0:32:10,599
You wish to learn the secret ways of the ninja?
412
0:32:10,599 --> 0:32:13,599
No, we just want to learn to beat the crap out of people.
413
0:32:13,599 --> 0:32:17,599
This is not a skill to be used for petty revenge.
414
0:32:17,599 --> 0:32:19,599
What about forgetting even?
415
0:32:19,599 --> 0:32:22,599
Here, you will learn to face death in battle.
416
0:32:22,599 --> 0:32:27,599
For a ninja, there is no try. There is only do.
417
0:32:27,599 --> 0:32:31,599
Well, for me, there's an awful lot of whining.
418
0:32:31,599 --> 0:32:33,599
And then I get my boyfriend to do it.
419
0:32:33,599 --> 0:32:35,599
At least you have a boyfriend.
420
0:32:35,599 --> 0:32:42,599
Um, when do we get to learn to do backflips, turn invisible, and fight ninja turtles?
421
0:32:49,599 --> 0:32:51,599
How can you stand it?
422
0:32:51,599 --> 0:32:54,599
I think a lot about baseball.
423
0:33:00,599 --> 0:33:05,599
Stefan, we didn't finish the job yesterday. I want another crack at those cheerleaders.
424
0:33:05,599 --> 0:33:08,599
You just want to get at those cheerleaders' cracks.
425
0:33:08,599 --> 0:33:11,599
Ha ha! You think that's funny?
426
0:33:15,599 --> 0:33:16,599
Anna?
427
0:33:19,599 --> 0:33:23,599
Ah! Ah! Ah!
428
0:33:28,599 --> 0:33:33,599
Girls! Girls! Stop it! Look what I got! Look what I have for you!
429
0:33:36,599 --> 0:33:39,599
I have a much, much better job for you.
430
0:33:39,599 --> 0:33:42,599
As long as it's a job where I don't have to swallow.
431
0:33:42,599 --> 0:33:44,599
That's what you said last night.
432
0:33:44,599 --> 0:33:47,599
Cut the sweet talk, Stefan. We're not a bunch of teenage boys, remember?
433
0:33:47,599 --> 0:33:50,599
I need you to kidnap me, a computer geek.
434
0:33:51,599 --> 0:33:52,599
How do we do that?
435
0:33:52,599 --> 0:33:55,599
Just use your feminine charms.
436
0:34:05,599 --> 0:34:07,599
No, the other ones!
437
0:34:07,599 --> 0:34:10,599
Oh! Oh! Oh!
438
0:34:14,599 --> 0:34:18,599
So, Todd, what are you working on out here? With Tan?
439
0:34:18,599 --> 0:34:20,599
Yes, that's why my computer's open.
440
0:34:20,599 --> 0:34:23,599
Computer? It's not even plugged into anything.
441
0:34:23,599 --> 0:34:26,599
Aren't there any rich football players who could go give you a ride in a Porsche?
442
0:34:26,599 --> 0:34:28,599
That's porch, isn't it?
443
0:34:28,599 --> 0:34:33,599
So what do you do after you graduate? Take all those cheering skills and go work at the Red Snapper Dance Club?
444
0:34:34,599 --> 0:34:38,599
Sorry to burst your penthouse forum fantasy, but we're not bimbos.
445
0:34:38,599 --> 0:34:40,599
Or sluts, or whores.
446
0:34:40,599 --> 0:34:42,599
Or bitches, babes, or chicks.
447
0:34:42,599 --> 0:34:44,599
Or sphincters.
448
0:34:44,599 --> 0:34:46,599
Or sperm-burping sleazebags.
449
0:34:46,599 --> 0:34:50,599
Go, girl. Who cares what you think, Todd? We have our own careers.
450
0:34:50,599 --> 0:34:53,599
Cheerleading? As a career?
451
0:34:53,599 --> 0:34:56,599
Hey, it's a job to be the most popular girls in high school.
452
0:34:56,599 --> 0:35:02,599
Yeah, from here we'll have a free ride through college, then get married to a rich lawyer, doctor, or veterinarian.
453
0:35:02,599 --> 0:35:05,599
So don't you stand there and tell me cheerleading isn't a career.
454
0:35:05,599 --> 0:35:06,599
Stand here?
455
0:35:06,599 --> 0:35:10,599
Yeah, like your computer thing isn't just another fad like Disco or Pet Cox.
456
0:35:10,599 --> 0:35:12,599
That's Pet Rocks.
457
0:35:12,599 --> 0:35:14,599
Fox, that's a good idea.
458
0:35:14,599 --> 0:35:16,599
Let's go.
459
0:35:16,599 --> 0:35:24,599
So it's my guess that embedded in every gaseous cloud is microscopic particles that make up the basis of the cloud.
460
0:35:24,599 --> 0:35:26,599
A fog is made up of water, right?
461
0:35:26,599 --> 0:35:29,599
Therefore, a fart would be made up of...
462
0:35:29,599 --> 0:35:31,599
Ugh.
463
0:35:31,599 --> 0:35:36,599
So when you smell someone's fart, it's the same as if you stuck your nose up their butthole.
464
0:35:36,599 --> 0:35:39,599
What about SPDs?
465
0:35:39,599 --> 0:35:43,599
So you're saying that sound volume is in no way related to the level of stinkage.
466
0:35:43,599 --> 0:35:47,599
Exactly. Pass me the elestra flavored chips, okay?
467
0:35:47,599 --> 0:35:50,599
Red alert! Females within phaser range!
468
0:35:50,599 --> 0:35:52,599
Shields up! On the proton torpedoes!
469
0:35:52,599 --> 0:35:54,599
Shut him up or I'll chop his head off.
470
0:35:54,599 --> 0:35:57,599
Angela, hi. We had a deal, remember?
471
0:35:57,599 --> 0:35:59,599
I know. Hello, maverick.
472
0:35:59,599 --> 0:36:01,599
There, I'm in love with your existence.
473
0:36:01,599 --> 0:36:03,599
Have a nice life.
474
0:36:03,599 --> 0:36:05,599
Yeah, we don't want to get cooties on you or anything.
475
0:36:08,599 --> 0:36:10,599
What's he doing?
476
0:36:10,599 --> 0:36:12,599
Oh, he just wants to put something on a sandwich.
477
0:36:29,599 --> 0:36:31,599
What?
478
0:36:45,599 --> 0:36:47,599
My brother's such an ass sniffer.
479
0:36:59,599 --> 0:37:02,599
Get the fuck out of my fantasy!
480
0:37:30,599 --> 0:37:32,599
One more, one more, one more!
481
0:37:32,599 --> 0:37:34,599
Yeah!
482
0:37:34,599 --> 0:37:37,599
That's it? You didn't save any mustard for me!
483
0:37:37,599 --> 0:37:39,599
Wiener breath.
484
0:37:42,599 --> 0:37:44,599
You boys have got to get dates.
485
0:37:48,599 --> 0:37:51,599
Are you kidding? I've had 900 numbers hanging up on me.
486
0:37:51,599 --> 0:37:55,599
Oh, you got the pinion power picker!
487
0:37:55,599 --> 0:37:58,599
Yeah. You know about computers?
488
0:37:58,599 --> 0:38:03,599
Well, I'm allowed to show off a little of my intelligence until I join on the squad.
489
0:38:03,599 --> 0:38:05,599
Hey, you're kind of cool.
490
0:38:05,599 --> 0:38:07,599
Thanks. Are we belated?
491
0:38:10,599 --> 0:38:15,599
Quit that! You're only encouraging them to speak to us like equals or something.
492
0:38:15,599 --> 0:38:17,599
It's like feeding wild bears.
493
0:38:17,599 --> 0:38:20,599
Once you slip a mistake, they'll want to get in your car and drive.
494
0:38:20,599 --> 0:38:22,599
Yeah, it's a slippery slope you're sliding down, sailor.
495
0:38:22,599 --> 0:38:25,599
Emergency shopping intervention!
496
0:38:29,599 --> 0:38:31,599
It must be love.
497
0:38:31,599 --> 0:38:33,599
Why?
498
0:38:33,599 --> 0:38:34,599
He didn't fart.
499
0:38:34,599 --> 0:38:38,599
Good. I didn't want to stick my nose up his butt anyway.
500
0:38:45,599 --> 0:38:50,599
Does anyone know where we can find some computer experts?
501
0:38:50,599 --> 0:38:53,599
What makes you think we know anything about computers?
502
0:38:53,599 --> 0:38:58,599
Well, we each have computers in our rooms and we just can't figure out this internet thing.
503
0:38:58,599 --> 0:39:01,599
Easy, Maverick. Remember the prime directive.
504
0:39:01,599 --> 0:39:04,599
No interference with any non-technical society.
505
0:39:04,599 --> 0:39:07,599
I don't think they mean us any harm.
506
0:39:07,599 --> 0:39:11,599
Is the problem with your PPP or your slip accounts?
507
0:39:11,599 --> 0:39:16,599
Um, both our PPs and our slips need adjusting.
508
0:39:19,599 --> 0:39:21,599
Could you help us, please?
509
0:39:23,599 --> 0:39:27,599
We're having a slumber party tonight. We would love it if you would come.
510
0:39:36,599 --> 0:39:38,599
We'll be there.
511
0:39:47,599 --> 0:39:49,599
Hey, don't those cause anal leakage?
512
0:39:49,599 --> 0:39:52,599
They better, or I'm taking them right back.
513
0:39:53,599 --> 0:39:55,599
I'm going to go get some water.
514
0:39:57,599 --> 0:40:00,599
A ninja becomes one with nature.
515
0:40:05,599 --> 0:40:10,599
A creature of the forest, hunting with the stealth of a tiger.
516
0:40:10,599 --> 0:40:14,599
Your bodies become deadly weapons of steel.
517
0:40:24,599 --> 0:40:26,599
Hi-ya!
518
0:40:26,599 --> 0:40:28,599
Ah!
519
0:40:49,599 --> 0:40:55,599
Your weapons are now extensions of your yin and yang.
520
0:40:56,599 --> 0:40:58,599
Ah!
521
0:41:09,599 --> 0:41:11,599
Ah!
522
0:41:26,599 --> 0:41:28,599
Wait! Wait, wait, wait!
523
0:41:28,599 --> 0:41:30,599
This isn't my fault!
524
0:41:31,599 --> 0:41:33,599
Hey, look, isn't it?
525
0:41:33,599 --> 0:41:34,599
Ah, shoot!
526
0:41:34,599 --> 0:41:37,599
This is not my fault. I'm telling you, this isn't my sword.
527
0:41:37,599 --> 0:41:38,599
Look!
528
0:41:38,599 --> 0:41:40,599
Ah!
529
0:41:46,599 --> 0:41:47,599
Hi-ya!
530
0:41:47,599 --> 0:41:48,599
Ah!
531
0:41:52,599 --> 0:41:59,599
Gravity becomes meaningless as you control the elements that once controlled you.
532
0:42:08,599 --> 0:42:13,599
Soon, you will become the most coveted martial artist of all.
533
0:42:13,599 --> 0:42:14,599
What an art!
534
0:42:14,599 --> 0:42:15,599
The ninja.
535
0:42:17,599 --> 0:42:19,599
God, I am so sore.
536
0:42:19,599 --> 0:42:22,599
Thank goodness those fight scenes were short.
537
0:42:26,599 --> 0:42:29,599
I'm really sorry about breaking your Batman model.
538
0:42:29,599 --> 0:42:31,599
It's okay, I mean, I still got Robin.
539
0:42:31,599 --> 0:42:32,599
Am I forgiven?
540
0:42:32,599 --> 0:42:33,599
Oh, always.
541
0:42:34,599 --> 0:42:37,599
Hey guys, we gotta get to that school. Those girls are expecting us.
542
0:42:37,599 --> 0:42:38,599
Ah!
543
0:42:39,599 --> 0:42:40,599
Oh my.
544
0:42:40,599 --> 0:42:41,599
Hey!
545
0:42:41,599 --> 0:42:42,599
Oh my god.
546
0:42:42,599 --> 0:42:43,599
Y'all a bunch of geeks?
547
0:42:43,599 --> 0:42:46,599
We might know a little about computers.
548
0:42:46,599 --> 0:42:49,599
We ought to know where a good old boy can find a strip bar around here.
549
0:42:50,599 --> 0:42:52,599
The Stud Club, fifth and Broadway.
550
0:42:52,599 --> 0:42:55,599
Yee-haw! I've been on a submarine for nine months,
551
0:42:55,599 --> 0:42:58,599
grouped up with a bunch of stinky guys. Couldn't tell, could you?
552
0:42:58,599 --> 0:43:00,599
No, no, no, no.
553
0:43:00,599 --> 0:43:02,599
Thanks a lot, boys. To the Stud Club!
554
0:43:02,599 --> 0:43:03,599
To the Stud Club!
555
0:43:03,599 --> 0:43:04,599
Yee-haw!
556
0:43:05,599 --> 0:43:08,599
You know, we probably wanted a strip club with naked girls.
557
0:43:09,599 --> 0:43:10,599
Oh yeah.
558
0:43:16,599 --> 0:43:18,599
Ah!
559
0:43:19,599 --> 0:43:21,599
Ah!
560
0:43:21,599 --> 0:43:23,599
Ah!
561
0:43:25,599 --> 0:43:28,599
I wonder what it's like in a parochial school dormitory.
562
0:43:28,599 --> 0:43:31,599
I'll bet every night is like a penthouse forum letter.
563
0:43:31,599 --> 0:43:34,599
Yeah, we'd probably take bubble baths together,
564
0:43:34,599 --> 0:43:38,599
wash each other's backs, and see each other's, you know, things.
565
0:43:39,599 --> 0:43:41,599
Flamer, girls have their own things.
566
0:43:41,599 --> 0:43:43,599
Why would they want to look at anybody else's?
567
0:43:43,599 --> 0:43:44,599
I would.
568
0:43:44,599 --> 0:43:48,599
I bet when they're bad, they get spanked on their bare bottoms.
569
0:43:48,599 --> 0:43:50,599
Where would you get an idea like that?
570
0:43:50,599 --> 0:43:51,599
From this.
571
0:43:51,599 --> 0:43:53,599
Oh, my favorite!
572
0:43:54,599 --> 0:43:57,599
You know, I've already started the letter.
573
0:43:57,599 --> 0:44:00,599
Dear Penthouse, I was studying for my final exams
574
0:44:00,599 --> 0:44:05,599
when my sister came home with her best friend from the parochial school.
575
0:44:07,599 --> 0:44:08,599
Hey.
576
0:44:08,599 --> 0:44:10,599
Oh, that's a cool shot.
577
0:44:10,599 --> 0:44:11,599
Wow.
578
0:44:11,599 --> 0:44:14,599
That looks like you, but with bigger boobies.
579
0:44:15,599 --> 0:44:17,599
I really like your skirt.
580
0:44:17,599 --> 0:44:18,599
It's a little long.
581
0:44:18,599 --> 0:44:20,599
It's so much neater than mine.
582
0:44:20,599 --> 0:44:24,599
No, but I wish, you know, mine would show my stockings like yours does.
583
0:44:26,599 --> 0:44:29,599
How about your ear boobies? Are they bigger than my boobies?
584
0:44:29,599 --> 0:44:31,599
I don't know.
585
0:44:31,599 --> 0:44:34,599
I think they're about the same size.
586
0:44:34,599 --> 0:44:35,599
Let's measure.
587
0:44:35,599 --> 0:44:36,599
Oh, uh-oh.
588
0:44:36,599 --> 0:44:37,599
Ah!
589
0:44:37,599 --> 0:44:38,599
They're kissing!
590
0:44:38,599 --> 0:44:39,599
Ah!
591
0:44:39,599 --> 0:44:41,599
The boobies are kissing!
592
0:44:42,599 --> 0:44:43,599
Ooh.
593
0:44:44,599 --> 0:44:46,599
I don't know how to use that thing.
594
0:44:46,599 --> 0:44:48,599
I don't know. Bend over. We'll try it.
595
0:44:53,599 --> 0:44:55,599
Lightly at first. I don't know if I can handle it.
596
0:44:55,599 --> 0:44:56,599
Are you ready?
597
0:44:56,599 --> 0:44:57,599
Yeah.
598
0:44:57,599 --> 0:44:58,599
Oh!
599
0:44:59,599 --> 0:45:01,599
Oh, that's turning me on!
600
0:45:01,599 --> 0:45:02,599
Ah!
601
0:45:02,599 --> 0:45:03,599
Oh!
602
0:45:03,599 --> 0:45:04,599
Oh, do me!
603
0:45:04,599 --> 0:45:06,599
I don't think I like it.
604
0:45:06,599 --> 0:45:07,599
Oh, look how red it is.
605
0:45:07,599 --> 0:45:09,599
Okay, I'll do a heal.
606
0:45:11,599 --> 0:45:13,599
You're not going to believe what happened.
607
0:45:15,599 --> 0:45:17,599
Hey, Bethany. Fresh meat's here.
608
0:45:23,599 --> 0:45:25,599
What does he do? Play baseball with that thing?
609
0:45:28,599 --> 0:45:31,599
Bethany's laying some cable. She'll be right out.
610
0:45:33,599 --> 0:45:34,599
Hey, Trekkies.
611
0:45:35,599 --> 0:45:37,599
Beam this bad boy up.
612
0:45:40,599 --> 0:45:41,599
Hey!
613
0:45:42,599 --> 0:45:43,599
Oh.
614
0:45:43,599 --> 0:45:45,599
Well, speak of swimming in a toilet.
615
0:45:46,599 --> 0:45:48,599
Girls, look what just came out of my butt.
616
0:45:52,599 --> 0:45:54,599
Computer! End hologram.
617
0:45:54,599 --> 0:45:55,599
Oh, my God.
618
0:45:55,599 --> 0:45:57,599
Jesus Christ, girl. What did you eat?
619
0:45:58,599 --> 0:45:59,599
A truck?
620
0:45:59,599 --> 0:46:03,599
Whatever it was. Thank God it's dead!
621
0:46:03,599 --> 0:46:05,599
Wait, don't flush it yet.
622
0:46:08,599 --> 0:46:10,599
Bye-bye!
623
0:46:12,599 --> 0:46:16,599
What? Did you think our turds were magically transported past our lower intestines
624
0:46:16,599 --> 0:46:18,599
without the help of a vacuum?
625
0:46:18,599 --> 0:46:19,599
No.
626
0:46:19,599 --> 0:46:20,599
Oh, my God.
627
0:46:20,599 --> 0:46:23,599
Did you think our turds were magically transported past our lower intestines
628
0:46:23,599 --> 0:46:25,599
without sliding through our butt holes?
629
0:46:26,599 --> 0:46:27,599
Yeah.
630
0:46:29,599 --> 0:46:36,599
Ladies, let's make our guests a little more comfortable.
631
0:46:38,599 --> 0:46:40,599
Oh, boys.
632
0:46:41,599 --> 0:46:44,599
Oh, my God.
633
0:46:45,599 --> 0:46:46,599
Scotty, three to beam up.
634
0:46:46,599 --> 0:46:47,599
Oh, they do.
635
0:46:47,599 --> 0:46:48,599
Ready?
636
0:46:48,599 --> 0:46:49,599
Okay.
637
0:46:49,599 --> 0:46:54,599
You suck. You suck. You really, really, really, really suck.
638
0:46:56,599 --> 0:46:59,599
I'm sorry, girls. I just have a lot on my mind.
639
0:46:59,599 --> 0:47:02,599
That's okay. At least you have a mind.
640
0:47:03,599 --> 0:47:05,599
What's wrong, honey? Do you need new shoes?
641
0:47:05,599 --> 0:47:07,599
What I need is a boyfriend.
642
0:47:07,599 --> 0:47:11,599
Y'all got more than you can count, but I can't even get a single guy to ask me out.
643
0:47:12,599 --> 0:47:13,599
What's the secret?
644
0:47:13,599 --> 0:47:16,599
Jane, you're just too nice to boyfriends.
645
0:47:16,599 --> 0:47:20,599
I'm just too nice to boys. The trick is you gotta treat them like dogs.
646
0:47:20,599 --> 0:47:21,599
Dogs?
647
0:47:21,599 --> 0:47:22,599
Mm-hmm.
648
0:47:22,599 --> 0:47:23,599
It's easy. Just watch.
649
0:47:25,599 --> 0:47:29,599
Hey, which one of you boys thinks you're mad enough to go out with a cheerleader?
650
0:47:29,599 --> 0:47:30,599
Take me.
651
0:47:30,599 --> 0:47:31,599
No, no, no. Take me.
652
0:47:31,599 --> 0:47:32,599
Take me.
653
0:47:32,599 --> 0:47:33,599
I got a house porch.
654
0:47:33,599 --> 0:47:36,599
Uh, I got a house with a nice porch.
655
0:47:36,599 --> 0:47:38,599
Now I'm really confused.
656
0:47:38,599 --> 0:47:43,599
Usually it's me with a collar around my neck, down on my knees begging.
657
0:47:43,599 --> 0:47:49,599
So, yes. Fact is, Jane, unless you treat them like untrained house pets, they just won't respect you.
658
0:47:49,599 --> 0:47:54,599
Boys may talk nice, but deep down inside they just want one thing.
659
0:47:54,599 --> 0:47:55,599
To eat!
660
0:47:55,599 --> 0:47:56,599
Here you go, boys.
661
0:48:03,599 --> 0:48:08,599
You know, I think we're taking this boyfriend dog metaphor just a bit too far.
662
0:48:13,599 --> 0:48:18,599
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
663
0:48:20,599 --> 0:48:21,599
Ah!
664
0:48:23,599 --> 0:48:28,599
Never! I'll never use my computer powers to subvert my beloved internet!
665
0:48:28,599 --> 0:48:34,599
Relax. All we want you to do is put these pictures up all over the internet.
666
0:48:34,599 --> 0:48:36,599
Picture of Sean Connery naked?
667
0:48:36,599 --> 0:48:38,599
Not that picture.
668
0:48:40,599 --> 0:48:42,599
Hey, that's that Pope guy. What's his name?
669
0:48:42,599 --> 0:48:43,599
Um, the Pope?
670
0:48:43,599 --> 0:48:47,599
Yeah, the one they named after the Beatles. Well, except for Ringo.
671
0:48:48,599 --> 0:48:50,599
Let's make them all steers.
672
0:48:50,599 --> 0:48:59,599
No, wait. The Force is strong with this one. The Force is mostly semen with this one. But the Force is weak with this one.
673
0:48:59,599 --> 0:49:02,599
Hannah, get me the laundry basket.
674
0:49:03,599 --> 0:49:08,599
Oh my god! My god, you can't do this!
675
0:49:08,599 --> 0:49:09,599
We can't do this!
676
0:49:10,599 --> 0:49:20,599
Whose bra is this? Can you tell? Let's see. Is it yours?
677
0:49:21,599 --> 0:49:23,599
You sick bastards!
678
0:49:23,599 --> 0:49:27,599
And whose dirty little panties are these?
679
0:49:29,599 --> 0:49:33,599
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
680
0:49:33,599 --> 0:49:39,599
Stop it! He's just a boy! If you want to torture someone like this, take me! Take me!
681
0:49:39,599 --> 0:49:40,599
I'll pay you to take me.
682
0:49:40,599 --> 0:49:45,599
Whose panties do these belong to?
683
0:49:45,599 --> 0:49:46,599
Maybe they're mine.
684
0:49:46,599 --> 0:49:50,599
Whoever owns these panties leaves lovely skin marks.
685
0:49:51,599 --> 0:49:54,599
We want code! Hold on, man! You can take it!
686
0:49:57,599 --> 0:50:01,599
Well, ladies, I think it's time the boys see if the panties we have on now are dirty.
687
0:50:04,599 --> 0:50:07,599
My god! I can't watch!
688
0:50:07,599 --> 0:50:09,599
Incoming!
689
0:50:11,599 --> 0:50:18,599
Suddenly, the massive fart ignites the chocolate bar in Flamer's pants, causing an explosion far too expensive to be shown in this film.
690
0:50:18,599 --> 0:50:25,599
Instead, we've substituted the following footage to help you understand the incredible violence of this deadly repulsive fart chocolate mixture.
691
0:50:33,599 --> 0:50:37,599
Shit! Who? Oh my god!
692
0:50:37,599 --> 0:50:41,599
Mmm. Mmm. Chocolate.
693
0:50:41,599 --> 0:50:43,599
There's a smile in every Hershey's.
694
0:50:46,599 --> 0:50:48,599
I need a cigarette.
695
0:50:48,599 --> 0:50:52,599
That's it! Time for testicular circumcision.
696
0:50:52,599 --> 0:50:55,599
You've lost, Bethany. We won't code.
697
0:50:55,599 --> 0:50:58,599
Wait. What if I...
698
0:50:58,599 --> 0:51:01,599
That's impossible. She hates geeks.
699
0:51:04,599 --> 0:51:06,599
Do we have a deal?
700
0:51:07,599 --> 0:51:09,599
This is a stroke of genius.
701
0:51:09,599 --> 0:51:11,599
They haven't seen me in action yet.
702
0:51:11,599 --> 0:51:13,599
Take me to your computer.
703
0:51:19,599 --> 0:51:21,599
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
704
0:51:21,599 --> 0:51:23,599
I'm sorry.
705
0:51:23,599 --> 0:51:35,599
I still don't understand how this will get rid of all that internet smut.
706
0:51:35,599 --> 0:51:37,599
You soon will.
707
0:51:40,599 --> 0:51:42,599
Hey everybody, look what the girls gave me.
708
0:51:42,599 --> 0:51:45,599
Your plan worked. The geeks fell for it.
709
0:51:46,599 --> 0:51:50,599
There you go. So, uh, anybody up for some fish sticks?
710
0:51:50,599 --> 0:51:52,599
Ooh, that sounds lovely.
711
0:51:52,599 --> 0:51:54,599
We have another job for you.
712
0:51:54,599 --> 0:51:57,599
Keep those chillers occupied while we have a chance to win our first test.
713
0:51:57,599 --> 0:51:58,599
And then what?
714
0:51:58,599 --> 0:52:01,599
And then the internet will no longer be a problem.
715
0:52:01,599 --> 0:52:04,599
I've got some tartar sauce that's extra rich and creamy.
716
0:52:04,599 --> 0:52:07,599
Tartar sauce. My favorite.
717
0:52:07,599 --> 0:52:08,599
It's handmade.
718
0:52:08,599 --> 0:52:09,599
Let's go.
719
0:52:09,599 --> 0:52:11,599
It's my own recipe.
720
0:52:11,599 --> 0:52:12,599
It took me two weeks to make it.
721
0:52:12,599 --> 0:52:13,599
Two weeks?
722
0:52:13,599 --> 0:52:15,599
Yeah, I worked on it every night.
723
0:52:16,599 --> 0:52:18,599
Let's go heat up the fish sticks.
724
0:52:22,599 --> 0:52:26,599
Hey everyone, did you hear the news? Someone subverted the entire internet.
725
0:52:29,599 --> 0:52:31,599
Well, I didn't hear anything.
726
0:52:32,599 --> 0:52:34,599
Just a music box in your head.
727
0:52:34,599 --> 0:52:38,599
Oh my gosh, there's a clearance sale at Shoe Heaven? No way!
728
0:52:39,599 --> 0:52:41,599
Well, what do you think, Jane?
729
0:52:41,599 --> 0:52:47,599
I think if I don't get myself a boyfriend soon, I'm going to have to buy one of those Fabio prepaid phone sex cards.
730
0:52:47,599 --> 0:52:49,599
Oh honey, just give it a little bit more time.
731
0:52:49,599 --> 0:52:51,599
About 20 minutes will do.
732
0:52:51,599 --> 0:52:54,599
And if not, well, then you're a dyke.
733
0:52:54,599 --> 0:52:56,599
That's dykey?
734
0:52:56,599 --> 0:53:01,599
So here's the little queenie who's responsible for daylight savings time on my biological clock.
735
0:53:01,599 --> 0:53:02,599
What?
736
0:53:02,599 --> 0:53:06,599
You just wait till your uterus is screaming like an 18-wheeler in heat,
737
0:53:06,599 --> 0:53:14,599
and your only chance of meeting a single man with a sperm count over one is clogged with your picture put up here by your computer geek boyfriend.
738
0:53:15,599 --> 0:53:17,599
She's right, the net's jammed with Angela.
739
0:53:17,599 --> 0:53:20,599
The least you could have done is put her head on some naked chick's body, man.
740
0:53:20,599 --> 0:53:27,599
I bought these puffs last week and paid twice what they're selling for.
741
0:53:27,599 --> 0:53:29,599
Ms. Dyke, this is a setup.
742
0:53:29,599 --> 0:53:31,599
No, that's a setup.
743
0:53:34,599 --> 0:53:38,599
You computer geeks better get your phone fantasy cheerleaders off the internet,
744
0:53:38,599 --> 0:53:41,599
or you'll be writing code and doing your own shit.
745
0:53:41,599 --> 0:53:45,599
You computer geeks better get your phone fantasy cheerleaders off the internet,
746
0:53:45,599 --> 0:53:50,599
or you'll be writing code and doing cheers for the Trans Am Junior College of Industrial Arts.
747
0:53:51,599 --> 0:53:53,599
This is horrible.
748
0:53:53,599 --> 0:53:56,599
Yeah, like, who tries a Trans Am?
749
0:53:56,599 --> 0:54:02,599
No, the fact that Ms. Robbing Ovary has announced the whole school these geek sea monkey spankers are her boyfriends.
750
0:54:02,599 --> 0:54:04,599
I need a shower.
751
0:54:04,599 --> 0:54:07,599
Shazbot, somebody took my code and changed it.
752
0:54:07,599 --> 0:54:09,599
I told you not to trust women who put their underwear on our heads.
753
0:54:09,599 --> 0:54:13,599
But who had the skill to do this? Not even Bill Gates is this twisted.
754
0:54:14,599 --> 0:54:16,599
Well, then we know of.
755
0:54:19,599 --> 0:54:22,599
Okay, Maverick, it's just you and me.
756
0:54:22,599 --> 0:54:25,599
Nice knowing you, buddy. See you in other parts.
757
0:54:28,599 --> 0:54:34,599
Wait, y'all, listen. Don't you think it could have been those stump pullers who whooped our butts the other day trying to do this to us?
758
0:54:35,599 --> 0:54:40,599
She's right. These geeks know we put their shlongs in a hawkdub and feed them to homeless people.
759
0:54:40,599 --> 0:54:42,599
Ninja formation, now!
760
0:54:42,599 --> 0:54:44,599
What for? We have to drive there.
761
0:54:44,599 --> 0:54:46,599
Come on, it shows off my shoes.
762
0:54:48,599 --> 0:54:50,599
Ninja cheerleader formation, now!
763
0:54:50,599 --> 0:54:52,599
I'm driving. Shotgun!
764
0:54:52,599 --> 0:54:54,599
Wait for me.
765
0:54:56,599 --> 0:54:58,599
Chat fight! Got plenty of videotape?
766
0:54:58,599 --> 0:55:00,599
I'll set up the water sprinklers.
767
0:55:01,599 --> 0:55:03,599
I'm so hungry.
768
0:55:03,599 --> 0:55:05,599
We just ate an hour ago.
769
0:55:05,599 --> 0:55:07,599
Well, you know what they say about Chinese food.
770
0:55:07,599 --> 0:55:09,599
No, what did they say?
771
0:55:09,599 --> 0:55:11,599
Well, some young guy can do.
772
0:55:12,599 --> 0:55:16,599
Freeze right there, cheerleading husbys! Your field trip is over!
773
0:55:17,599 --> 0:55:19,599
Defen, you set us up.
774
0:55:19,599 --> 0:55:23,599
Never mind what everybody says. Cheerleaders are smarter than potted plants.
775
0:55:23,599 --> 0:55:27,599
So, are you enjoying your newfound celebrity-ness as Queen of the Internet?
776
0:55:33,599 --> 0:55:35,599
What did we ever do to you?
777
0:55:35,599 --> 0:55:40,599
You only wouldn't let me be on the coolest cheerleading squad in high school, maybe the whole planet!
778
0:55:40,599 --> 0:55:45,599
You only ruined my life! You destroyed me! You dismembered me!
779
0:55:45,599 --> 0:55:50,599
You, you plotted my heart and threw it on the ground and smacked me!
780
0:55:50,599 --> 0:55:54,599
You plotted my heart and threw it on the ground and smacked me!
781
0:55:54,599 --> 0:55:58,599
And then you pulled it, stuck it in a disposal and turned it on!
782
0:56:00,599 --> 0:56:02,599
That's all? You ruined my life?
783
0:56:03,599 --> 0:56:05,599
Only because you never got one.
784
0:56:05,599 --> 0:56:07,599
You could have tried out for pom-poms.
785
0:56:07,599 --> 0:56:09,599
Or dance squad.
786
0:56:09,599 --> 0:56:13,599
For the benefit of those watching at home, the remainder of this scene will be in knees.
787
0:56:13,599 --> 0:56:17,599
Japanese, Chinese, and Pekingese.
788
0:56:17,599 --> 0:56:20,599
Toyota, Nissan, Honda, Suzuki.
789
0:56:20,599 --> 0:56:23,599
Bag Boy, Spoochoo, Bufu.
790
0:56:23,599 --> 0:56:28,599
Wee pokum shlaw, wee pokum yung, shoooyah.
791
0:56:28,599 --> 0:56:31,599
Lick my begotter, eat my dog doostoo.
792
0:56:31,599 --> 0:56:33,599
Too late!
793
0:56:34,599 --> 0:56:37,599
Now you will feel the wrath of my rejection!
794
0:56:37,599 --> 0:56:40,599
Dismember them! Dismember them, my minions!
795
0:56:40,599 --> 0:56:42,599
What?
796
0:56:42,599 --> 0:56:44,599
Fight scene!
797
0:56:44,599 --> 0:56:46,599
Nooooo!
798
0:56:50,599 --> 0:56:57,599
And it's round two between the Happy Valley cheerleaders and the Blessed Virgin Reformed School Sluts!
799
0:56:57,599 --> 0:56:59,599
Yah!
800
0:56:59,599 --> 0:57:01,599
Yah!
801
0:57:03,599 --> 0:57:05,599
Yah!
802
0:57:05,599 --> 0:57:07,599
Yah!
803
0:57:07,599 --> 0:57:09,599
Yah!
804
0:57:09,599 --> 0:57:11,599
Yah!
805
0:57:11,599 --> 0:57:13,599
Yah!
806
0:57:13,599 --> 0:57:15,599
Yah!
807
0:57:15,599 --> 0:57:17,599
Yah!
808
0:57:17,599 --> 0:57:19,599
Slot!
809
0:57:19,599 --> 0:57:21,599
Yah!
810
0:57:21,599 --> 0:57:23,599
Ow!
811
0:57:23,599 --> 0:57:25,599
Woo!
812
0:57:25,599 --> 0:57:27,599
I see this is your mom's house.
813
0:57:27,599 --> 0:57:29,599
Woo! Ow!
814
0:57:42,319 --> 0:57:47,279
And the big question is, just how good are the cheerleaders' new ninja skills?
815
0:57:47,279 --> 0:57:51,279
And more importantly, will we get to see some hooters?
816
0:57:51,279 --> 0:57:52,279
Ah!
817
0:57:52,279 --> 0:57:54,279
Ahhhhhhh!
818
0:57:55,280 --> 0:57:58,280
Oh, and I watch the end of my nipple guard.
819
0:57:58,280 --> 0:58:00,280
Ha ha!
820
0:58:04,280 --> 0:58:06,280
Ow! I broke a nail!
821
0:58:06,280 --> 0:58:08,280
Oh, I hate it when that happens.
822
0:58:08,280 --> 0:58:10,280
Have you tried these?
823
0:58:14,280 --> 0:58:16,280
New Kung Fu-length Bruce Lee press on nails.
824
0:58:16,280 --> 0:58:19,280
With the nails you don't build a house with.
825
0:58:19,280 --> 0:58:21,280
No, I haven't. Thanks!
826
0:58:24,280 --> 0:58:27,280
Hey, redneck cracker face pecker head cow humping bitch.
827
0:58:27,280 --> 0:58:29,280
Huh?
828
0:58:33,280 --> 0:58:35,280
Yeah! Yeah!
829
0:58:35,280 --> 0:58:37,280
Yeah!
830
0:58:37,280 --> 0:58:39,280
So you're from Kentucky?
831
0:58:39,280 --> 0:58:41,280
I bet your mom's in prison and you live in a mobile home.
832
0:58:41,280 --> 0:58:43,280
Rrrrrrrrraaaa!
833
0:58:43,280 --> 0:58:45,280
Oh my gosh!
834
0:58:45,280 --> 0:58:47,280
You're so annoying!
835
0:58:47,280 --> 0:58:49,280
I know that you're from Kentucky.
836
0:58:49,280 --> 0:58:52,280
I bet your mom's in prison and you live in a mobile home.
837
0:58:52,280 --> 0:58:53,280
Oh...
838
0:58:53,280 --> 0:58:54,280
AHHHHH!
839
0:58:54,280 --> 0:58:55,280
AHHHHH!
840
0:58:55,280 --> 0:59:10,280
That's an airstream, you bitch!
841
0:59:10,280 --> 0:59:11,280
Die hamster bitch!
842
0:59:40,280 --> 0:59:46,800
That didn't hurt.
843
0:59:46,800 --> 0:59:48,800
That didn't hurt.
844
0:59:48,800 --> 1:00:04,200
Okay, that one hurt.
845
1:00:04,200 --> 1:00:07,280
I'll give you one last chance to choose righteousness and goodocity.
846
1:00:07,280 --> 1:00:09,280
Who are you, Marsha Brady?
847
1:00:09,280 --> 1:00:14,280
I'm gonna stick this sword so far up your wormhole, you computer geek lover!
848
1:00:14,280 --> 1:00:17,280
There can be only one!
849
1:00:17,280 --> 1:00:18,280
AHHHHH!
850
1:00:18,280 --> 1:00:25,280
This could be bad.
851
1:00:25,280 --> 1:00:32,280
Yep, real bad.
852
1:00:32,280 --> 1:00:33,280
Run away!
853
1:00:33,280 --> 1:00:35,280
Run away, my girl!
854
1:00:35,280 --> 1:00:36,280
Run away!
855
1:00:36,280 --> 1:00:46,280
You know, my favorite part of any cheesy movie is when the girls get wet and jiggle in slow motion.
856
1:00:46,280 --> 1:00:48,280
AHHHHH!
857
1:00:48,280 --> 1:00:50,280
AHHHHH!
858
1:00:50,280 --> 1:00:52,280
AHHHHH!
859
1:00:52,280 --> 1:00:54,280
Run away!
860
1:00:54,280 --> 1:00:56,280
Run away!
861
1:00:56,280 --> 1:00:58,280
Run away!
862
1:00:58,280 --> 1:01:00,280
Run away!
863
1:01:00,280 --> 1:01:02,280
Run away!
864
1:01:02,280 --> 1:01:04,280
Run away!
865
1:01:04,280 --> 1:01:06,280
Run away!
866
1:01:06,280 --> 1:01:08,280
Run away!
867
1:01:08,280 --> 1:01:10,280
Run away!
868
1:01:10,280 --> 1:01:12,280
Run away!
869
1:01:12,280 --> 1:01:14,280
Well, folks, this alone is worth the price of admission.
870
1:01:14,280 --> 1:01:25,280
I don't know if it helps, but I'm not wearing any pants.
871
1:01:25,280 --> 1:01:27,280
You guys!
872
1:01:27,280 --> 1:01:33,280
Please!
873
1:01:33,280 --> 1:01:34,280
What happened?
874
1:01:34,280 --> 1:01:37,280
Rizal saw the cab and drove off.
875
1:01:37,280 --> 1:01:38,280
Little chase.
876
1:01:38,280 --> 1:01:39,280
Where's Heather?
877
1:01:39,280 --> 1:01:41,280
She didn't have the right shoes for Pogo Stigging.
878
1:01:41,280 --> 1:01:42,280
She went shopping.
879
1:01:42,280 --> 1:01:44,280
But the chase scene is over.
880
1:01:44,280 --> 1:01:47,280
We're talking about Heather, remember?
881
1:01:47,280 --> 1:01:50,280
So what's going on with this picture mail over on the internet?
882
1:01:50,280 --> 1:01:52,280
Well, there's good news and there's bad news.
883
1:01:52,280 --> 1:01:56,280
The bad news is your picture is spreading like a virus through every server in the world.
884
1:01:56,280 --> 1:01:58,280
And the good news?
885
1:01:58,280 --> 1:02:02,280
Nobody yet has put your picture on somebody else's naked body.
886
1:02:02,280 --> 1:02:03,280
Hello!
887
1:02:03,280 --> 1:02:10,280
Look, look, Shoe Haven had a special on my size, my color, Pogo Stig shoes.
888
1:02:10,280 --> 1:02:13,280
Heather, those are just Tata shoes.
889
1:02:13,280 --> 1:02:15,280
But they were in the Pogo Stig shoes section.
890
1:02:15,280 --> 1:02:21,280
Well, according to my calculations, Angela's picture will completely take over the internet in two days.
891
1:02:21,280 --> 1:02:23,280
Are we still on the internet stuff?
892
1:02:23,280 --> 1:02:26,280
What the hell was that?
893
1:02:26,280 --> 1:02:28,280
My uterus!
894
1:02:28,280 --> 1:02:32,280
I assume you're all working together to solve this internet crisis.
895
1:02:32,280 --> 1:02:34,280
Work together?
896
1:02:34,280 --> 1:02:36,280
That's a great idea, Mrs. Dyke.
897
1:02:36,280 --> 1:02:45,280
The cheerleaders and the geeks all united against a common enemy.
898
1:02:45,280 --> 1:02:47,280
That's an excellent idea.
899
1:02:47,280 --> 1:02:55,280
You kids get back to the computer lab, put aside your differences and show some hamster teamwork.
900
1:02:55,280 --> 1:03:00,280
But before I forget, Angela, I have your computerized scholarship reports here.
901
1:03:00,280 --> 1:03:04,280
It says you're a volunteer in the Make a Death Wish Foundation.
902
1:03:04,280 --> 1:03:05,280
What?
903
1:03:05,280 --> 1:03:12,280
That's a group where an unfortunate, terminally ill child is given one last wish.
904
1:03:12,280 --> 1:03:20,280
Seems that before this little pisswad takes a dirt dive and becomes worm food, he wants a picnic with a real cheerleader.
905
1:03:20,280 --> 1:03:22,280
Don't they have websites for this?
906
1:03:22,280 --> 1:03:24,280
www.cheerleaders.com.
907
1:03:24,280 --> 1:03:26,280
One of my personal favorites.
908
1:03:26,280 --> 1:03:27,280
The news group.
909
1:03:27,280 --> 1:03:30,280
Alt, binaries, nude cheerleaders.
910
1:03:30,280 --> 1:03:35,280
How can you tell their cheerleaders if they're all naked?
911
1:03:35,280 --> 1:03:38,280
Well, she has pom poms.
912
1:03:38,280 --> 1:03:42,280
Mrs. Dyke, I am not going on a blind date with some dying kid.
913
1:03:42,280 --> 1:03:44,280
He oozes something on me.
914
1:03:44,280 --> 1:03:48,280
I'm sorry, Angela, but if you want the scholarship, you have to.
915
1:03:48,280 --> 1:03:51,280
Now shoo, don't fix the internet.
916
1:03:51,280 --> 1:03:53,280
You're going out with a blind person?
917
1:03:53,280 --> 1:03:55,280
How politically correct.
918
1:03:55,280 --> 1:03:59,280
Oh, you know that handicapped people get all the best parking places?
919
1:03:59,280 --> 1:04:01,280
Heather!
920
1:04:01,280 --> 1:04:02,280
Oh my gosh.
921
1:04:02,280 --> 1:04:04,280
I am so stupid.
922
1:04:04,280 --> 1:04:06,280
Blind people don't even drive.
923
1:04:06,280 --> 1:04:08,280
Here, just wear your sunglasses.
924
1:04:08,280 --> 1:04:10,280
You'll fit right in.
925
1:04:15,280 --> 1:04:17,280
This is going better than I expected.
926
1:04:17,280 --> 1:04:19,280
You're sure you can break the code?
927
1:04:19,280 --> 1:04:21,280
Well, it's my code except for the picture.
928
1:04:21,280 --> 1:04:24,280
I'll have it fixed before they even show up.
929
1:04:24,280 --> 1:04:27,280
Boys, get back to the clubhouse and get it ready.
930
1:04:27,280 --> 1:04:30,280
We're going to have real live girls in it.
931
1:04:32,280 --> 1:04:37,280
How come if it's two hands coming together, it's not called a high ten?
932
1:04:38,280 --> 1:04:39,280
Never mind, Jim.
933
1:04:39,280 --> 1:04:41,280
Just bring me one of Angela's sweats.
934
1:04:41,280 --> 1:04:43,280
Break!
935
1:04:47,280 --> 1:04:52,280
Well, let's all work together and fix this internet thing.
936
1:04:52,280 --> 1:04:55,280
You all don't get out much, do you?
937
1:04:55,280 --> 1:04:58,280
I bet you all eat deodorant, huh?
938
1:04:59,280 --> 1:05:01,280
There, that should do it.
939
1:05:01,280 --> 1:05:04,280
At last, the internet is back under anarchy's control.
940
1:05:04,280 --> 1:05:06,280
Yay!
941
1:05:06,280 --> 1:05:09,280
That's it? That's what we came here for?
942
1:05:09,280 --> 1:05:14,280
Boys, in honor of us all working together to save the internet,
943
1:05:14,280 --> 1:05:17,280
the club chipped in and bought some William Shatner beer!
944
1:05:17,280 --> 1:05:19,280
Shatner beer!
945
1:05:19,280 --> 1:05:20,280
And chips!
946
1:05:20,280 --> 1:05:22,280
Shatner chips!
947
1:05:23,280 --> 1:05:27,280
Well, boys, I've got a date.
948
1:05:45,280 --> 1:05:48,280
Heather, I hope you wore your old shoes.
949
1:05:48,280 --> 1:05:51,280
I don't think these guys are going to hold their liquor.
950
1:06:11,280 --> 1:06:13,280
Hey, baby!
951
1:06:14,280 --> 1:06:15,280
What are you doing here?
952
1:06:15,280 --> 1:06:19,280
Oh, get out of here before someone sees you talking to me!
953
1:06:19,280 --> 1:06:22,280
I'm your make-a-death-wish blind date, baby!
954
1:06:23,280 --> 1:06:26,280
What fatal disease do you have?
955
1:06:27,280 --> 1:06:29,280
Dyslexic incontinence.
956
1:06:32,280 --> 1:06:35,280
Angela, wait! Remember your scholarship.
957
1:06:35,280 --> 1:06:39,280
If I have to go to college, I'll be the one who has to pay for it.
958
1:06:40,280 --> 1:06:43,280
Angela, wait! Remember your scholarship.
959
1:06:43,280 --> 1:06:46,280
If I have to go on a date with you to get my scholarship,
960
1:06:46,280 --> 1:06:48,280
there's only one thing left to do.
961
1:06:49,280 --> 1:06:53,280
Wait, wait! I swear I won't tell anyone, ever!
962
1:06:54,280 --> 1:06:59,280
Wait, wait! What if this internet thing is a diabolical scheme to take over the world,
963
1:06:59,280 --> 1:07:01,280
and only the two of us can stop it?
964
1:07:05,280 --> 1:07:06,280
Okay.
965
1:07:07,280 --> 1:07:10,280
Captain's log. Start a squirt of pie.
966
1:07:10,280 --> 1:07:12,280
First officer reporting.
967
1:07:12,280 --> 1:07:16,280
The captain has gone on a away mission, and I have taken command.
968
1:07:16,280 --> 1:07:20,280
We have females on the Enterprise, and we are drinking.
969
1:07:20,280 --> 1:07:26,280
Hey, Jane! Do you know, last night I stayed at home and masturbated?
970
1:07:26,280 --> 1:07:29,280
That's nice. Did you think about gerbils?
971
1:07:29,280 --> 1:07:31,280
No, the song!
972
1:07:31,280 --> 1:07:34,280
Oh, God, I'd rather hear homeless people sing.
973
1:07:34,280 --> 1:07:39,280
Last night I stayed at home and masturbated
974
1:07:39,280 --> 1:07:44,280
It felt so good, I knew it would
975
1:07:44,280 --> 1:07:49,280
Last night I stayed at home and masturbated
976
1:07:49,280 --> 1:07:53,280
It felt so sweet, I used my feet
977
1:07:53,280 --> 1:07:57,280
Beat it, beat it, up against the wall
978
1:07:57,280 --> 1:08:00,280
Beat it, beat it, make me feel so tall
979
1:08:00,280 --> 1:08:05,280
I stroked it all until I blow my wad into the stall
980
1:08:10,280 --> 1:08:11,280
Stefan?
981
1:08:12,280 --> 1:08:16,280
It seems as if your geek friends are trying to stop the worm virus from spreading throughout the net.
982
1:08:16,280 --> 1:08:19,280
We can't have that, can we?
983
1:08:19,280 --> 1:08:21,280
That's why you should wear a condom.
984
1:08:21,280 --> 1:08:24,280
The first test of the net virus is almost complete.
985
1:08:24,280 --> 1:08:27,280
Keep an eye on this maverick geek guy.
986
1:08:27,279 --> 1:08:31,279
You may have to resort to even more drastic measures.
987
1:08:32,279 --> 1:08:34,279
You leave now, Stefan.
988
1:08:35,279 --> 1:08:36,279
Oh, yeah.
989
1:08:37,279 --> 1:08:40,279
This brain's a bowling ball rolling around in a boxcar.
990
1:08:42,279 --> 1:08:46,279
So, how did you get a name like Maverick anyway?
991
1:08:46,279 --> 1:08:48,279
It's Tom Cruise's name in the movie Top Gun.
992
1:08:48,279 --> 1:08:50,279
And Chubby?
993
1:08:50,279 --> 1:08:54,279
Well, because the only time he doesn't pop one is when he's in shower after gym class.
994
1:08:54,279 --> 1:08:56,279
Lamer?
995
1:08:57,279 --> 1:09:01,279
Lamer has uncontrollable flatulence whenever he gets near a girl.
996
1:09:01,279 --> 1:09:06,279
This one time in science class, this girl backed him up against a lit Bunsen burner.
997
1:09:06,279 --> 1:09:12,279
He shot across the room like a balloon, took out a roll of windows, and ended up out in the parking lot.
998
1:09:13,279 --> 1:09:15,279
This is so funny.
999
1:09:15,279 --> 1:09:17,279
You're making this up, aren't you?
1000
1:09:17,279 --> 1:09:19,279
Yeah. Impressed, huh?
1001
1:09:19,279 --> 1:09:23,279
No. Well, it's been all about five minutes.
1002
1:09:23,279 --> 1:09:27,279
That should give you hours of things to think about when you're giving Rosie Paul a creamerance.
1003
1:09:28,279 --> 1:09:29,279
Angela, wait.
1004
1:09:30,279 --> 1:09:34,279
I wasn't going to tell you this, but I'm the one who changed the internet.
1005
1:09:35,279 --> 1:09:36,279
What?
1006
1:09:36,279 --> 1:09:38,279
I wanted to make you like me.
1007
1:09:40,279 --> 1:09:42,279
Maverick, that's so pathetic.
1008
1:09:42,279 --> 1:09:45,279
Next time, just call my 900 number.
1009
1:09:47,279 --> 1:09:49,279
What's that number?
1010
1:09:49,279 --> 1:09:52,279
That's 1-900-GO-ANGIE.
1011
1:09:53,279 --> 1:09:56,279
1499 a minute must be over 18.
1012
1:09:56,279 --> 1:09:59,279
Hurry. I'm waiting.
1013
1:10:03,279 --> 1:10:04,279
I have to go.
1014
1:10:05,279 --> 1:10:10,279
Wait! Don't you want to see my program that combines holographic imagery with 3D teramorphine?
1015
1:10:10,279 --> 1:10:15,279
I mean, with the right amount of power, I could turn anyone into a mega transformer zord.
1016
1:10:15,279 --> 1:10:20,279
Not without solving the binary code differences between the holo program and high wattage power sources.
1017
1:10:20,279 --> 1:10:24,279
You know, there's something about you that I just can't put my finger on.
1018
1:10:24,279 --> 1:10:27,279
It's my breasts. They make men go mad.
1019
1:10:27,279 --> 1:10:33,279
Now go home, call that 900 number, and switch on the speakerphone for hands-free listening.
1020
1:10:33,279 --> 1:10:36,279
Oh, and if you ever tell anyone you sat here and talked to me...
1021
1:10:40,279 --> 1:10:42,279
I am under your control.
1022
1:10:44,279 --> 1:10:47,279
Maverick! I'm talking to you!
1023
1:10:47,279 --> 1:10:49,279
But what happened?
1024
1:10:50,279 --> 1:10:54,279
Your usual foreplay. You stared at your computer screen and started slobbering.
1025
1:10:54,279 --> 1:10:59,279
Oh my god, someone's taken my original code and changed it into a hypnotic zombie enslavement program!
1026
1:10:59,279 --> 1:11:05,279
So what you're saying is that everyone who uses the internet will still look like a pathetic drooling idiot?
1027
1:11:05,279 --> 1:11:08,279
We've got to get back to the bridge. This is bigger than I thought.
1028
1:11:10,279 --> 1:11:13,279
Y'all know the difference between parsley and pussy?
1029
1:11:13,279 --> 1:11:15,279
Nobody eats parsley.
1030
1:11:17,279 --> 1:11:19,279
Why would you want to eat a cat?
1031
1:11:19,279 --> 1:11:20,279
What about Heather?
1032
1:11:20,279 --> 1:11:22,279
I mean, were they Vietnamese or boat people or something?
1033
1:11:22,279 --> 1:11:25,279
Because I heard they eat cats, gerbils, and houseplants.
1034
1:11:27,279 --> 1:11:29,279
Are you guys okay?
1035
1:11:29,279 --> 1:11:35,279
Oh yeah, we're fine. The geeks logged onto the internet, and now they're all pathetic drooling idiots.
1036
1:11:36,279 --> 1:11:38,279
See?
1037
1:11:41,279 --> 1:11:45,279
We are all zombie slaves of the internet.
1038
1:11:45,279 --> 1:11:48,279
We don't ever go online. We thought this was normal.
1039
1:11:48,279 --> 1:11:50,279
Oh my god, do you know what this means?
1040
1:11:50,279 --> 1:11:52,279
There goes your sex life.
1041
1:11:55,279 --> 1:11:57,279
For the love of god.
1042
1:12:02,279 --> 1:12:04,279
Oh my god.
1043
1:12:04,279 --> 1:12:06,279
What happened?
1044
1:12:06,279 --> 1:12:10,279
Oh man, zombie enslavement software. I've heard rumors about this stuff.
1045
1:12:11,279 --> 1:12:14,279
This is a self-replicating worm code.
1046
1:12:14,279 --> 1:12:15,279
I see.
1047
1:12:15,279 --> 1:12:17,279
You do?
1048
1:12:17,279 --> 1:12:19,279
Well, I'm hot. I want an ice tea.
1049
1:12:19,279 --> 1:12:23,279
It's only a matter of hours before everyone on the net is hooked.
1050
1:12:23,279 --> 1:12:30,279
Like they're on crack, crank, skank, spank, horch, blow, suck, spew, chew.
1051
1:12:30,279 --> 1:12:32,279
And catnip.
1052
1:12:32,279 --> 1:12:36,279
Millions of zombie slaves. For god knows what perverted use.
1053
1:12:36,279 --> 1:12:39,279
And the world is under someone's total control.
1054
1:12:39,279 --> 1:12:42,279
Okay, wait a minute. How does this affect me?
1055
1:12:42,279 --> 1:12:45,279
It's the world, Heather.
1056
1:12:45,279 --> 1:12:47,279
Yeah?
1057
1:12:47,279 --> 1:12:49,279
The world?
1058
1:12:49,279 --> 1:12:52,279
You know, like the US.
1059
1:12:53,279 --> 1:12:56,279
Happy Valley High. Get it?
1060
1:12:56,279 --> 1:12:59,279
Oh, yeah, I get it. I'm not a complete...
1061
1:12:59,279 --> 1:13:00,279
Idiot.
1062
1:13:00,279 --> 1:13:02,279
Yes, idiot. Thank you.
1063
1:13:02,279 --> 1:13:04,279
Okay, anybody want to go to shoe heaven?
1064
1:13:04,279 --> 1:13:06,279
Who would do such a thing?
1065
1:13:06,279 --> 1:13:08,279
Duh, someone who needs shoes.
1066
1:13:08,279 --> 1:13:12,279
I think we're back to those same dick lickers that we fought before.
1067
1:13:12,279 --> 1:13:13,279
Oh.
1068
1:13:13,279 --> 1:13:15,279
Who's this dick licker?
1069
1:13:15,279 --> 1:13:20,279
And where would Stefan and the reform school girls get the training to subvert the internet?
1070
1:13:20,279 --> 1:13:24,279
Duh! From the bad guys. Can you stop this?
1071
1:13:24,279 --> 1:13:26,279
It may be too late.
1072
1:13:26,279 --> 1:13:33,279
Zombie. Slave. Internet.
1073
1:13:33,279 --> 1:13:36,279
My god, that program is powerful.
1074
1:13:36,279 --> 1:13:39,279
I'll say. You're staring at a microwave.
1075
1:13:40,279 --> 1:13:42,279
Hamster pups.
1076
1:13:44,279 --> 1:13:47,279
Those geeks have the whole thing figured out.
1077
1:13:47,279 --> 1:13:48,279
We're almost out of time.
1078
1:13:48,279 --> 1:13:50,279
Patience, my solid-body friend.
1079
1:13:50,279 --> 1:13:56,279
The morphing program will soon be finished, along with the spread of the internet zombie enslavement virus.
1080
1:13:56,279 --> 1:13:59,279
Then the world is ours.
1081
1:14:00,279 --> 1:14:08,279
But those geeks are going to send the cheerleader churches to tie me to cheerleader niches to beat me sister!
1082
1:14:08,279 --> 1:14:11,279
Don't tell me you're afraid of a bunch of adolescent cheerleaders.
1083
1:14:11,279 --> 1:14:12,279
Just the girls.
1084
1:14:12,279 --> 1:14:17,279
Surely your little gang of reform school runaways could handle a bunch of bra-stuffing pompoms.
1085
1:14:17,279 --> 1:14:22,279
But those cheerleaders were trained by Alona!
1086
1:14:22,279 --> 1:14:25,279
So gather their worst enemies and tire them out.
1087
1:14:27,279 --> 1:14:30,279
And then do I send them to beat up the cheerleaders?
1088
1:14:31,279 --> 1:14:36,279
Stefan, from here on, you're not permitted to use our toilet.
1089
1:14:36,279 --> 1:14:41,279
I don't really hope we stop fighting soon. My feet are killing me.
1090
1:14:41,279 --> 1:14:42,279
Are those new shoes?
1091
1:14:42,279 --> 1:14:43,279
Why yes, aren't they pretty?
1092
1:14:43,279 --> 1:14:45,279
I got them on sale too.
1093
1:14:45,279 --> 1:14:48,279
You better hope your tombstones are on sale!
1094
1:14:48,279 --> 1:14:50,279
Ninja formation, now!
1095
1:15:01,279 --> 1:15:03,279
That went over well.
1096
1:15:04,279 --> 1:15:08,279
We know about your diabolical plans to take over the world, Stefan.
1097
1:15:08,279 --> 1:15:10,279
But we're going to take you down!
1098
1:15:10,279 --> 1:15:13,279
And they did some killer power shopping.
1099
1:15:13,279 --> 1:15:15,279
We're going to kick your ass.
1100
1:15:15,279 --> 1:15:17,279
Ha ha ha!
1101
1:15:17,279 --> 1:15:18,279
Oh!
1102
1:15:18,279 --> 1:15:20,279
Frank, Flippy, run!
1103
1:15:20,279 --> 1:15:21,279
Yah!
1104
1:15:21,279 --> 1:15:22,279
No!
1105
1:15:25,279 --> 1:15:27,279
This time I brought your worst enemy!
1106
1:15:27,279 --> 1:15:29,279
Ha ha ha!
1107
1:15:29,279 --> 1:15:31,279
Who, pom pom girls?
1108
1:15:31,279 --> 1:15:32,279
7, 8!
1109
1:15:32,279 --> 1:15:36,279
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8!
1110
1:15:36,279 --> 1:15:39,279
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8!
1111
1:15:39,279 --> 1:15:40,279
All set!
1112
1:15:40,279 --> 1:15:41,279
You bet!
1113
1:15:46,279 --> 1:15:48,279
And now we begin round three of
1114
1:15:48,279 --> 1:15:53,279
Will We See Fighting Girls Kissing as well as Naked Mamories.
1115
1:15:54,279 --> 1:15:56,279
Go get them by costume minion!
1116
1:15:58,279 --> 1:15:59,279
Come on!
1117
1:16:01,279 --> 1:16:02,279
Get them!
1118
1:16:23,279 --> 1:16:27,279
And it looks like the contest isn't going too well for the cheerleaders.
1119
1:16:27,279 --> 1:16:31,279
Even worse, I think we're going to go the entire length of this film
1120
1:16:31,279 --> 1:16:35,279
without so much as seeing a chipmunk being beaten senseless.
1121
1:16:40,279 --> 1:16:43,279
Ninja swords, nunchucks, woozing sound effects.
1122
1:16:43,279 --> 1:16:45,279
Yo, sound effects over here!
1123
1:16:53,279 --> 1:16:55,279
We need to get the cheerleaders some extra help.
1124
1:16:55,279 --> 1:16:57,279
If not, they're going to be toast!
1125
1:16:58,279 --> 1:17:01,279
The Neutere-morphing software, but that's just experimental.
1126
1:17:01,279 --> 1:17:03,279
Well, so is sex with yourself at one time.
1127
1:17:03,279 --> 1:17:06,279
Well, today we find out if it can cut the mustard.
1128
1:17:10,279 --> 1:17:14,279
Flamer, get over to the nuclear power plant where you work part-time in the computer department.
1129
1:17:14,279 --> 1:17:16,279
Hook your laptop up to their download feed.
1130
1:17:16,279 --> 1:17:21,279
Chubby, you take your laptop with the morphing software over to the hologram company where you also work part-time.
1131
1:17:21,279 --> 1:17:24,279
I'll get over to the cheerleaders and we'll hook up with you via satellite.
1132
1:17:24,279 --> 1:17:28,279
Any other character points we need to reveal at the last minute?
1133
1:17:28,279 --> 1:17:30,279
We're all trained Navy SEALs.
1134
1:17:31,279 --> 1:17:32,279
Don't think so.
1135
1:17:33,279 --> 1:17:34,279
Erk, erk, erk!
1136
1:17:54,279 --> 1:17:55,279
Grr!
1137
1:17:59,279 --> 1:18:00,279
Ha ha ha!
1138
1:18:00,279 --> 1:18:01,279
Ha ha ha!
1139
1:18:01,279 --> 1:18:02,279
Ha ha ha!
1140
1:18:02,279 --> 1:18:03,279
Ha ha ha!
1141
1:18:03,279 --> 1:18:04,279
Ha ha ha!
1142
1:18:04,279 --> 1:18:05,279
Ha ha ha!
1143
1:18:05,279 --> 1:18:07,279
Looks like the program is finished.
1144
1:18:07,279 --> 1:18:09,279
God be praised!
1145
1:18:10,279 --> 1:18:12,279
Aren't you going to check for spelling errors?
1146
1:18:14,279 --> 1:18:15,279
I'm such a worrier.
1147
1:18:17,279 --> 1:18:19,279
It's just us girls now!
1148
1:18:20,279 --> 1:18:22,279
Great. I knew you'd go return your flamethrower yesterday.
1149
1:18:22,279 --> 1:18:24,279
It wasn't in my color.
1150
1:18:25,279 --> 1:18:27,279
It's ready. Fire it up now, Stefan.
1151
1:18:28,279 --> 1:18:31,279
Okay girls, let's get our revenge now!
1152
1:18:31,279 --> 1:18:33,279
Megazord form now!
1153
1:18:41,279 --> 1:18:43,279
I have you now cheerleader ninjas!
1154
1:18:43,279 --> 1:18:45,279
Ha ha ha ha!
1155
1:18:47,279 --> 1:18:49,279
Oh my god!
1156
1:18:53,279 --> 1:18:54,279
Run away!
1157
1:19:09,279 --> 1:19:11,279
Oh no, what are we going to do?
1158
1:19:12,279 --> 1:19:14,279
You don't think it'll stomp out to heaven, do you?
1159
1:19:15,279 --> 1:19:17,279
How about these fuck-me-pumps?
1160
1:19:17,279 --> 1:19:19,279
German pole-smokers! Ha ha!
1161
1:19:22,279 --> 1:19:24,279
It might.
1162
1:19:27,279 --> 1:19:30,279
Ow! My crippled baby in a wheelchair!
1163
1:19:32,279 --> 1:19:35,279
Power transference grid is set to 1.21 gigawatts.
1164
1:19:36,279 --> 1:19:38,279
1.21 gigawatts!
1165
1:19:40,279 --> 1:19:42,279
Program transfer is online.
1166
1:19:45,279 --> 1:19:48,279
Quick! Get the Air Force to attack with those really cool airplanes.
1167
1:19:48,279 --> 1:19:50,279
We don't stand a chance against that giant robot!
1168
1:19:50,279 --> 1:19:53,279
Come on, man. The Science Fiction Convention Hall is downtown.
1169
1:19:53,279 --> 1:19:55,279
It's right next to the stud club.
1170
1:20:05,279 --> 1:20:07,279
Mayday, mayday! I'm going down!
1171
1:20:08,279 --> 1:20:10,279
And it tastes like shit!
1172
1:20:16,279 --> 1:20:18,279
Man, that schoolgirls' order is really pissing me off.
1173
1:20:18,279 --> 1:20:20,279
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
1174
1:20:20,279 --> 1:20:23,279
I don't know. Do you think you'd look good in tights doing gymnastics?
1175
1:20:40,279 --> 1:20:42,279
Your sister blows wookies!
1176
1:20:43,279 --> 1:20:45,279
I even programmed in super glue!
1177
1:20:49,279 --> 1:20:51,279
Episode 36. Classic. Next-gen.
1178
1:20:52,279 --> 1:20:54,279
That schoolgirls' order is one dead pair of panties.
1179
1:20:55,279 --> 1:20:57,279
I bet they'd be huge.
1180
1:21:11,279 --> 1:21:13,279
This is where no man has gone before.
1181
1:21:14,279 --> 1:21:17,279
That will definitely put Picard in a wheelchair.
1182
1:21:19,279 --> 1:21:22,279
How about these Klingons for your anus?
1183
1:21:30,279 --> 1:21:32,279
I've got the same software that they have.
1184
1:21:32,279 --> 1:21:34,279
Here, put these on, quick.
1185
1:21:34,279 --> 1:21:36,279
This is not going to match my shit.
1186
1:21:36,279 --> 1:21:40,279
There's no time to explain. These callers are hologram receptors.
1187
1:21:40,279 --> 1:21:42,279
They'll give you the same powers as that Megazord.
1188
1:21:42,279 --> 1:21:44,279
I thought you said there's no time to explain!
1189
1:21:44,279 --> 1:21:45,279
Hurry!
1190
1:21:45,279 --> 1:21:48,279
Okay, Flamer, activate the power plant transference.
1191
1:21:48,279 --> 1:21:51,279
Chubby, transmit the holographic enhancers.
1192
1:21:51,279 --> 1:21:53,279
Megazord, now!
1193
1:22:00,279 --> 1:22:01,279
Oh, my!
1194
1:22:01,279 --> 1:22:02,279
What's that, Brick?
1195
1:22:05,279 --> 1:22:06,279
Strong program.
1196
1:22:16,279 --> 1:22:19,279
You stepped on shoe heaven and now you're going to pay.
1197
1:22:26,279 --> 1:22:29,279
Master Strong got between good cheerleader and evil schoolgirl!
1198
1:22:29,279 --> 1:22:30,279
All we do!
1199
1:22:30,279 --> 1:22:31,279
Master!
1200
1:22:31,279 --> 1:22:32,279
All we do is fight!
1201
1:22:33,279 --> 1:22:36,279
Wow! I thought it was tits!
1202
1:22:38,279 --> 1:22:40,279
Excuse me, friends.
1203
1:22:45,279 --> 1:22:48,279
Oh, man! Those are some dainties! Re-fry!
1204
1:22:52,279 --> 1:22:54,279
Hey, what website is that?
1205
1:22:54,279 --> 1:22:55,279
Keiradance.com
1206
1:22:55,279 --> 1:22:59,279
Wow! Another amazingly coincidental product placement.
1207
1:23:07,279 --> 1:23:10,279
Only one thing fights back the stench of schoolgirl ass smoke.
1208
1:23:10,279 --> 1:23:13,279
Wonder Twin pom poms activate!
1209
1:23:15,279 --> 1:23:18,279
No! No! No!
1210
1:23:19,279 --> 1:23:22,279
We need to give our cheerleader Zord the ultimate weapon.
1211
1:23:22,279 --> 1:23:25,279
Hey, look at this. Discount sextoyshop.com.
1212
1:23:33,279 --> 1:23:34,279
That's huge!
1213
1:23:35,279 --> 1:23:38,279
Not that I looked at other guys in the shower or anything.
1214
1:23:42,279 --> 1:23:43,279
Yeah, that's big.
1215
1:23:43,279 --> 1:23:45,279
But you gave it to the wrong Zord.
1216
1:23:52,279 --> 1:23:54,279
Hey, I've got a partial strap-on to myself.
1217
1:24:07,279 --> 1:24:09,279
Now, there's something you don't see every day.
1218
1:24:13,279 --> 1:24:16,279
You know, if you shaved your balls, yours could look a lot bigger too.
1219
1:24:16,279 --> 1:24:18,279
No time! We're done for!
1220
1:24:21,279 --> 1:24:22,279
You can't give up, man.
1221
1:24:22,279 --> 1:24:26,279
I've seen you crack code harder than my big brother watching nuns riding bicycles.
1222
1:24:26,279 --> 1:24:28,279
There's one guy who can save the world.
1223
1:24:28,279 --> 1:24:30,279
And man, that's you.
1224
1:24:31,279 --> 1:24:34,279
Yeah, besides, if you do, you're gonna have to pay for it.
1225
1:24:34,279 --> 1:24:35,279
I'm not gonna give up.
1226
1:24:35,279 --> 1:24:36,279
I'm gonna give you a chance.
1227
1:24:36,279 --> 1:24:37,279
I'm gonna give you a chance.
1228
1:24:37,279 --> 1:24:38,279
I'm gonna give you a chance.
1229
1:24:38,279 --> 1:24:39,279
I'm gonna give you a chance.
1230
1:24:39,279 --> 1:24:40,279
I'm gonna give you a chance.
1231
1:24:40,279 --> 1:24:41,279
I'm gonna give you a chance.
1232
1:24:41,279 --> 1:24:42,279
I'm gonna give you a chance.
1233
1:24:42,279 --> 1:24:45,279
Yeah, besides, if you don't, I'm gonna sit on your face and blow ass.
1234
1:24:46,279 --> 1:24:48,279
Victory is mine, cheerleader ninjas.
1235
1:24:48,279 --> 1:24:50,279
And now I will poop on your pretty little shoes.
1236
1:24:52,279 --> 1:24:55,279
Only one chance.
1237
1:24:58,279 --> 1:24:59,279
Love?
1238
1:25:00,279 --> 1:25:02,279
Squeeze tighter. I'm about ready to bust.
1239
1:25:05,279 --> 1:25:09,279
Thanks for stomping out shootin' heaven, you cardboard applicator.
1240
1:25:13,279 --> 1:25:15,279
Damn, I'm good. Nice work.
1241
1:25:17,279 --> 1:25:19,279
Make it go number two.
1242
1:25:25,279 --> 1:25:27,279
And now for a little more drama.
1243
1:25:34,279 --> 1:25:36,279
Damn, that is one pissed off ninja lizard.
1244
1:25:37,279 --> 1:25:39,279
We give up. It's back to selling nun porno for us.
1245
1:25:40,279 --> 1:25:41,279
We're outta here.
1246
1:25:42,279 --> 1:25:43,279
What?
1247
1:25:51,279 --> 1:25:52,279
Well, that's it.
1248
1:25:53,279 --> 1:25:54,279
The world is saved.
1249
1:25:55,279 --> 1:25:56,279
Alright.
1250
1:25:56,279 --> 1:25:57,279
Don't even think of hugging me.
1251
1:25:58,279 --> 1:26:00,279
Hold the non-alcoholic champagne. We're not through yet.
1252
1:26:01,279 --> 1:26:03,279
But I thought we just tickled on a chess piece.
1253
1:26:03,279 --> 1:26:05,279
Yeah, but the zombie virus is still spreading throughout the internet.
1254
1:26:06,279 --> 1:26:07,279
Come on.
1255
1:26:08,279 --> 1:26:09,279
Let's follow those girls.
1256
1:26:12,279 --> 1:26:13,279
Where is everyone?
1257
1:26:14,279 --> 1:26:15,279
I mean, what do we do now?
1258
1:26:16,279 --> 1:26:17,279
Screw that, crew ex-celebrities.
1259
1:26:18,279 --> 1:26:20,279
We just want our money so we can catch the last train to Clarksville.
1260
1:26:24,279 --> 1:26:25,279
Come on, no, no, no.
1261
1:26:26,279 --> 1:26:27,279
Huh?
1262
1:26:28,279 --> 1:26:30,279
I said your world domination plan is a failure.
1263
1:26:31,279 --> 1:26:32,279
You're a monster.
1264
1:26:33,279 --> 1:26:34,279
You're a monster.
1265
1:26:35,279 --> 1:26:36,279
You're a monster.
1266
1:26:37,279 --> 1:26:38,279
You're a monster.
1267
1:26:39,279 --> 1:26:40,279
You're a monster.
1268
1:26:40,279 --> 1:26:42,279
I said your world domination days are over.
1269
1:26:43,279 --> 1:26:44,279
Damn.
1270
1:26:45,279 --> 1:26:46,279
Who is pulling your strings?
1271
1:26:47,279 --> 1:26:48,279
You know your computer illiterate.
1272
1:26:49,279 --> 1:26:51,279
Yeah, if you don't tell us, you're a prisoness for the rest of your life.
1273
1:26:52,279 --> 1:26:54,279
Surrounded by brutal men who will bend you to their every will.
1274
1:26:55,279 --> 1:26:57,279
Ooh, that's a tough one.
1275
1:26:58,279 --> 1:26:59,279
I can't let you go to jail, Stefan.
1276
1:27:00,279 --> 1:27:01,279
We put him up to it.
1277
1:27:02,279 --> 1:27:03,279
We thought the internet was perverting our youngsters.
1278
1:27:04,279 --> 1:27:05,279
We were only trying to do good.
1279
1:27:06,279 --> 1:27:07,279
Oh, okay.
1280
1:27:08,279 --> 1:27:09,279
Just don't let it happen again.
1281
1:27:10,279 --> 1:27:12,279
Hallelujah.
1282
1:27:13,279 --> 1:27:15,279
You know, I don't really mind paying my debt to society.
1283
1:27:16,279 --> 1:27:19,279
If we just swing by a drug store, I can just go turn myself in.
1284
1:27:21,279 --> 1:27:22,279
You've got junk mail.
1285
1:27:23,279 --> 1:27:25,279
Zombie software download complete.
1286
1:27:26,279 --> 1:27:28,279
Holy zit.
1287
1:27:30,279 --> 1:27:32,279
Sorry to ruin your plans, poofter.
1288
1:27:33,279 --> 1:27:37,279
We found your email address and replaced your zombie software with a website on acne harvesting.
1289
1:27:37,279 --> 1:27:38,279
Oh.
1290
1:27:39,279 --> 1:27:40,279
And?
1291
1:27:41,279 --> 1:27:42,279
We called the police.
1292
1:27:43,279 --> 1:27:45,279
You're not smart enough to take my code and write a worm virus in it.
1293
1:27:46,279 --> 1:27:48,279
You have the help of an evil computer genius.
1294
1:27:49,279 --> 1:27:50,279
Microsoft?
1295
1:27:51,279 --> 1:27:53,279
No, it was Todd, you morons.
1296
1:27:54,279 --> 1:27:55,279
Duh, he's the only one that's left.
1297
1:27:58,279 --> 1:27:59,279
Todd.
1298
1:28:00,279 --> 1:28:01,279
Who is he?
1299
1:28:02,279 --> 1:28:03,279
Very smart, Mr. Maverick.
1300
1:28:04,279 --> 1:28:05,279
Intercepting the final portion of my code.
1301
1:28:05,279 --> 1:28:06,279
Todd.
1302
1:28:07,279 --> 1:28:08,279
Todd.
1303
1:28:09,279 --> 1:28:10,279
Oh yeah.
1304
1:28:11,279 --> 1:28:13,279
So you're the one who put the pictures of us with the geeks all over school?
1305
1:28:14,279 --> 1:28:18,279
And paid the bimbo underlings to bribe me to write a code to put the picture of the pope all over the net.
1306
1:28:19,279 --> 1:28:21,279
Watch who you call a bimbo, stud boy.
1307
1:28:22,279 --> 1:28:27,279
Then you subverted Maverick's code with a worm program that invaded every net server with your zombie software.
1308
1:28:28,279 --> 1:28:30,279
Time out. Time out. Way too complicated.
1309
1:28:31,279 --> 1:28:33,279
We're popular and they're not. That's all that matters.
1310
1:28:34,279 --> 1:28:36,279
But, I intercepted the intercept.
1311
1:28:37,279 --> 1:28:39,279
The final zombie code string is right here.
1312
1:28:47,279 --> 1:28:49,279
Insert into disk drive.
1313
1:28:50,279 --> 1:28:52,279
No!
1314
1:28:53,279 --> 1:28:55,279
I'm using a computer!
1315
1:28:56,279 --> 1:28:59,279
That's the final code string. In moments, the world will be mine.
1316
1:28:59,279 --> 1:29:00,279
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
1317
1:29:01,279 --> 1:29:03,279
Wow. You're going to need a lot of office supplies.
1318
1:29:04,279 --> 1:29:06,279
He's only a few minutes away from global domination.
1319
1:29:07,279 --> 1:29:08,279
Can you stop this?
1320
1:29:09,279 --> 1:29:11,279
Well, it's half of my code so I might be able to get in through the back door.
1321
1:29:12,279 --> 1:29:13,279
Did he say back door?
1322
1:29:14,279 --> 1:29:17,279
Oh, it's going to be a tight fit. If I can just wedge it in there.
1323
1:29:19,279 --> 1:29:21,279
Damn! He's got his back door all plugged up.
1324
1:29:22,279 --> 1:29:24,279
This place is full of perverts.
1325
1:29:25,279 --> 1:29:26,279
It's no use.
1326
1:29:26,279 --> 1:29:27,279
We're almost out of time.
1327
1:29:30,279 --> 1:29:34,279
What's the matter, Angela? Giving up on computer science before you even try?
1328
1:29:35,279 --> 1:29:42,279
That's right. She may be going to college on a cheerleading scholarship, but she's majoring in computer science!
1329
1:29:43,279 --> 1:29:45,279
Ugh! You bitch!
1330
1:29:46,279 --> 1:29:48,279
You're a geek?
1331
1:29:49,279 --> 1:29:51,279
A closet nerd!
1332
1:29:52,279 --> 1:29:55,279
Okay, I admit it. I'm not a geek.
1333
1:29:56,279 --> 1:30:00,279
I'm a geek, dork, hacker, spammer, coder, zip-popping, diet, Pepsi-drinking nerd.
1334
1:30:01,279 --> 1:30:04,279
But do you know what else? I've got great tits!
1335
1:30:04,279 --> 1:30:05,279
Ugh!
1336
1:30:26,279 --> 1:30:27,279
Pass me the mustard, quick!
1337
1:30:29,279 --> 1:30:32,279
Stip-sci! This is between me and Todd.
1338
1:30:32,279 --> 1:30:35,279
So, Steven, what position do you want in my new dictatorship?
1339
1:30:36,279 --> 1:30:37,279
Did you say position?
1340
1:30:38,279 --> 1:30:39,279
I have you now.
1341
1:30:40,279 --> 1:30:41,279
Not quite.
1342
1:30:42,279 --> 1:30:43,279
No!
1343
1:30:45,279 --> 1:30:47,279
Oh! The old plug-the-plug trick!
1344
1:30:48,279 --> 1:30:51,279
Damn it! It's the second time I've fallen for that this week!
1345
1:30:52,279 --> 1:30:55,279
Yay! We saved the world! We saved the world!
1346
1:30:56,279 --> 1:30:57,279
Yeah, go ahead, rub it in.
1347
1:30:58,279 --> 1:30:59,279
Yay!
1348
1:31:02,279 --> 1:31:05,279
Woo-hoo!
1349
1:31:24,279 --> 1:31:27,279
Okay, I'm going to play on three, two, one!
1350
1:31:28,279 --> 1:31:31,279
Oh, Mr. Ice Cream Man!
1351
1:31:42,279 --> 1:31:47,279
So, you're a geek, huh? All the hairspray, batting in the eyelashes, and string of gorgeous boyfriends.
1352
1:31:48,279 --> 1:31:49,279
That was just a net?
1353
1:31:50,279 --> 1:31:53,279
I'm afraid so, girls. From now on, I'm going to have to be honest about who I am.
1354
1:31:54,279 --> 1:31:55,279
That's good.
1355
1:31:55,279 --> 1:31:57,279
Because we're really lesbians.
1356
1:32:00,279 --> 1:32:05,279
Ma'am, I've been from Kentucky and all. Well, I didn't really learn to use toilet paper.
1357
1:32:06,279 --> 1:32:09,279
That's a little too much exposition, don't you think?
1358
1:32:13,279 --> 1:32:16,279
You've doomed our children to a life of internet smut and damnation!
1359
1:32:20,279 --> 1:32:24,279
A true democracy can't survive without all forms of speech.
1360
1:32:25,279 --> 1:32:30,279
Right. The internet is a vast town square where diverse ideas can be understood by one another.
1361
1:32:31,279 --> 1:32:35,279
It is essential that we celebrate the uniqueness of the American spirit by respecting the opinions of everyone.
1362
1:32:36,279 --> 1:32:38,279
Unless you voice an opinion that disagrees with the government.
1363
1:32:39,279 --> 1:32:41,279
That's right. Okay, fine.
1364
1:32:44,279 --> 1:32:46,279
Okay, hey!
1365
1:32:47,279 --> 1:32:49,279
Why attack the internet, Stefan? You know nothing about it!
1366
1:32:50,279 --> 1:32:53,279
Because it's full of gay bastards and naked women.
1367
1:32:53,279 --> 1:32:57,279
That's not true! The internet has pornography for all kinds of sexual perversions.
1368
1:32:58,279 --> 1:33:02,279
There are thousands of websites for homosexuals and plenty of naked men everywhere.
1369
1:33:03,279 --> 1:33:05,279
It's a dork-slurping, wrecking rangers paradise.
1370
1:33:06,279 --> 1:33:07,279
Thanks, I got the push.
1371
1:33:08,279 --> 1:33:09,279
Want me to take them downtown and book them?
1372
1:33:10,279 --> 1:33:13,279
I believe true crime comes from a deep inner knee that isn't fulfilled.
1373
1:33:14,279 --> 1:33:16,279
Nah, sometimes they're just assholes.
1374
1:33:17,279 --> 1:33:20,279
Yeah. Well, wait. I've got a better idea.
1375
1:33:23,279 --> 1:33:32,279
Well, it looks like we learned a lot from each other. You've decided not to hide your intelligence.
1376
1:33:33,279 --> 1:33:34,279
And you learned how to dress.
1377
1:33:35,279 --> 1:33:36,279
Biff!
1378
1:33:37,279 --> 1:33:38,279
Stevie!
1379
1:33:48,279 --> 1:33:50,279
I just love blind chicks.
1380
1:33:50,279 --> 1:34:00,279
We are the world. We are the children. We are the world's children.
1381
1:34:00,279 --> 1:34:04,279
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
1382
1:34:16,279 --> 1:34:21,279
Today we'd like to congratulate Jane on becoming a full-fledged member of the Happy Valley High cheerleading squad!
1383
1:34:22,279 --> 1:34:24,279
Congrats, baby, you're in!
1384
1:34:25,279 --> 1:34:26,279
You're in?
1385
1:34:27,279 --> 1:34:28,279
Hey, what about me?
1386
1:34:28,279 --> 1:34:29,279
And you too, Stefan.
1387
1:34:30,279 --> 1:34:35,279
Yes! Yes! Go hamsters, kick that ball, kick that ball in the stall!
1388
1:34:36,279 --> 1:34:39,279
Stefan! You're not wearing any bloomers!
1389
1:34:39,279 --> 1:34:46,279
Remember kids, don't judge a person by their race, religion, or how funny they talk.
1390
1:34:47,279 --> 1:34:48,279
Instead, judge them by the car they drive.
1391
1:34:49,279 --> 1:34:50,279
And how cute their shoes are.
1392
1:34:51,279 --> 1:34:53,279
Furthermore, it doesn't matter if a guy's a little overweight.
1393
1:34:54,279 --> 1:34:57,279
With the breath like the crotch of an asphalt racer, they're not going to be able to do anything.
1394
1:34:58,279 --> 1:35:00,279
And they're going to be able to do a lot of things.
1395
1:35:00,279 --> 1:35:02,279
Cheerleading ninjas from infinity to the mall!
1396
1:35:30,279 --> 1:35:31,279
Yes!
1397
1:35:44,279 --> 1:35:49,279
Since death, Al, so long as I'm on the south-west of the crashable world.
1398
1:35:50,279 --> 1:35:53,279
No, he did not! He's got two really rich crashable organs.
1399
1:35:54,279 --> 1:35:55,279
He's doing an organ!
1400
1:35:55,279 --> 1:35:56,279
I'm not a guy!
1401
1:35:57,279 --> 1:35:58,279
Al, I'm not a guy!
1402
1:35:59,279 --> 1:36:01,279
At least wait until I start to think.
1403
1:36:04,279 --> 1:36:10,279
A teenage sexual deprecity. Sexual distravity.
1404
1:36:11,279 --> 1:36:15,279
I should know a couple of words!
1405
1:36:15,279 --> 1:36:17,279
Al, I'll see you later.
108079
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