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1
00:00:18,844 --> 00:00:20,846
Previously on Call Me Fitz.
2
00:00:20,846 --> 00:00:21,717
Where the fuck
are all the cars?
3
00:00:21,717 --> 00:00:23,806
They were repossessed.
4
00:00:23,806 --> 00:00:25,373
All you've ever
done is fuck me.
5
00:00:25,373 --> 00:00:26,983
I fucked you?
6
00:00:26,983 --> 00:00:29,116
You you you,
you love each other.
7
00:00:29,116 --> 00:00:30,639
I think Richard is
acting up because
8
00:00:30,639 --> 00:00:31,901
he feels abandoned.
9
00:00:31,901 --> 00:00:34,077
By his mother, his
father, his son,
10
00:00:34,077 --> 00:00:35,861
and now you leaving
makes it worse.
11
00:00:35,861 --> 00:00:37,907
Ya, ya what he said.
12
00:00:38,951 --> 00:00:40,518
Someone on this strip
is trying to
13
00:00:40,518 --> 00:00:42,651
fuck our dealership.
14
00:00:42,651 --> 00:00:44,827
Mr. Childs told me
that he's Ken's
15
00:00:44,827 --> 00:00:46,611
long lost
brother?
16
00:00:48,396 --> 00:00:52,878
I could have been
Mrs. Pat Childs.
17
00:00:55,272 --> 00:00:57,405
Well fuck me.
18
00:00:57,405 --> 00:00:59,146
If you we're plowing
her with Burbon Sours
19
00:00:59,146 --> 00:01:00,973
then that means you...
20
00:01:00,973 --> 00:01:02,758
Fucking proposed?
21
00:01:02,758 --> 00:01:04,281
Oh ya...
22
00:01:04,281 --> 00:01:05,369
No european country
prohibits marriage
23
00:01:05,369 --> 00:01:07,284
between first cousins.
24
00:01:07,284 --> 00:01:09,243
We are not doing shit
until you tell me why
25
00:01:09,243 --> 00:01:10,853
your brother is here.
26
00:01:10,853 --> 00:01:14,378
I think it's time we
told everyone the truth.
27
00:01:14,378 --> 00:01:17,033
Richard, I am
your real father.
28
00:01:17,033 --> 00:01:19,035
You gotta be
fucking kidding me.
29
00:01:19,035 --> 00:01:22,430
So that means
Paula is...
30
00:01:22,430 --> 00:01:24,432
My sister.
31
00:01:35,182 --> 00:01:36,139
Wait a second,
32
00:01:36,139 --> 00:01:39,577
so Ken's not
my real father?
33
00:01:44,147 --> 00:01:46,845
When people lose something,
they find ways to
34
00:01:46,845 --> 00:01:48,369
fill the void.
35
00:01:48,369 --> 00:01:50,806
Sometimes with a
business opportunity.
36
00:01:50,806 --> 00:01:53,548
Who needs a son when
daddy's got game.
37
00:01:53,548 --> 00:01:54,462
Come on,
fuckers!
38
00:01:58,901 --> 00:02:01,121
Sometimes with therapy.
39
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:03,993
This is all the
family I need.
40
00:02:08,824 --> 00:02:11,087
And sometimes with
a pathetic attempt
41
00:02:11,087 --> 00:02:13,785
to make up for lost time.
42
00:02:16,745 --> 00:02:19,922
My father -
our father would like
43
00:02:19,922 --> 00:02:21,402
to offer you a job.
44
00:02:21,402 --> 00:02:22,490
You tell douche
beard he can't
45
00:02:22,490 --> 00:02:25,101
buy his way
into my life.
46
00:02:25,101 --> 00:02:27,930
We'd start you at
120,000 Richard
47
00:02:27,930 --> 00:02:30,411
And it would give us a
chance to work together,
48
00:02:30,411 --> 00:02:32,717
as brother
and sister.
49
00:02:34,719 --> 00:02:37,548
In case you change
your mind.
50
00:02:37,548 --> 00:02:40,638
But somewhere along the way,
he'll be faced with a choice
51
00:02:40,638 --> 00:02:43,032
that will define who
he is as a man.
52
00:02:43,032 --> 00:02:45,861
Get off my property.
53
00:02:45,861 --> 00:02:47,776
Real men stick to
their guns and find
54
00:02:47,776 --> 00:02:49,821
their own path.
55
00:02:49,821 --> 00:02:53,260
Real men know if you
play your cards right,
56
00:02:53,260 --> 00:02:56,001
the world is your oyster.
57
00:02:58,613 --> 00:03:01,746
You're a fuckin
loser Fitz
58
00:03:01,746 --> 00:03:02,747
Fuck.
59
00:03:08,710 --> 00:03:14,933
♪ Without you
I'd find my smile ♪
60
00:03:14,933 --> 00:03:19,851
♪ Without you
I'd'a won by a mile ♪
61
00:03:19,851 --> 00:03:25,901
♪ Without you
Oh life would be so grand ♪
62
00:03:25,901 --> 00:03:30,862
♪ Without you
I'm half a man ♪
63
00:03:30,862 --> 00:03:33,952
♪ With out you
64
00:03:36,433 --> 00:03:42,004
♪ Without youuu
65
00:03:42,004 --> 00:03:45,529
♪ Without you.
66
00:04:19,737 --> 00:04:21,826
What the fuck
do you want?
67
00:04:22,914 --> 00:04:24,873
The secret is heart.
68
00:04:37,929 --> 00:04:41,150
Oh my god, the hot
dog is right.
69
00:04:43,935 --> 00:04:46,024
Maggie.
70
00:04:51,856 --> 00:04:52,814
Ok, Richard,
is this
71
00:04:52,814 --> 00:04:53,902
really
necessary?
72
00:04:53,902 --> 00:04:55,338
Get off my ass,
felchy-smurf.
73
00:04:55,338 --> 00:04:56,339
Every time
your mother
74
00:04:56,339 --> 00:04:57,384
abandons
the family,
75
00:04:57,384 --> 00:04:58,254
you tend to--
76
00:04:58,254 --> 00:04:59,777
Not want to talk
about it.
77
00:04:59,777 --> 00:05:00,909
Don't don't look
at this as a loss,
78
00:05:00,909 --> 00:05:02,302
look at it
as a gain.
79
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:03,477
Now you got
two daddys.
80
00:05:03,477 --> 00:05:05,174
Who are both lying
sacks of shit.
81
00:05:05,174 --> 00:05:06,741
Face it, the
dealership's done.
82
00:05:06,741 --> 00:05:07,916
Richard,
you've worked your
83
00:05:07,916 --> 00:05:09,570
whole life to build
this dealership.
84
00:05:09,570 --> 00:05:10,962
What are you going
to do for money?
85
00:05:10,962 --> 00:05:12,094
Don't worry your
freakishly-shaped
86
00:05:12,094 --> 00:05:13,138
head over it.
87
00:05:13,138 --> 00:05:14,226
Fitzy's got a plan
to put us back
88
00:05:14,226 --> 00:05:15,924
on easy street.
89
00:05:19,014 --> 00:05:20,842
Fuck! There's gotta
be something
90
00:05:20,842 --> 00:05:22,887
worth pawning in
this shithole.
91
00:05:22,887 --> 00:05:25,020
S'up?
92
00:05:25,020 --> 00:05:25,890
What are
you doing?
93
00:05:25,890 --> 00:05:27,196
Looking for
the cat.
94
00:05:27,196 --> 00:05:29,329
We do not
have a cat.
95
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:30,808
And mystery solved.
96
00:05:30,808 --> 00:05:31,940
You are welcome.
97
00:05:31,940 --> 00:05:32,984
You want to look
for something,
98
00:05:32,984 --> 00:05:35,987
look for something
I can sell.
99
00:05:35,987 --> 00:05:38,773
Oh hey, what
about this?
100
00:05:38,773 --> 00:05:39,687
Never.
101
00:05:39,687 --> 00:05:40,688
That is a priceless
memory of
102
00:05:40,688 --> 00:05:41,776
Richard's father.
103
00:05:41,776 --> 00:05:43,255
Ex-father,
dick-drool.
104
00:05:43,255 --> 00:05:45,127
Yeah, Larry.
105
00:05:45,127 --> 00:05:46,258
Wait a minute.
106
00:05:46,258 --> 00:05:47,085
If Ken isn't your
father then that
107
00:05:47,085 --> 00:05:48,565
means that we are.
108
00:05:48,565 --> 00:05:49,697
Friends, Josh.
109
00:05:49,697 --> 00:05:51,916
I knew it, you big
tall bastard.
110
00:05:51,916 --> 00:05:53,788
Legacy is not
about blood,
111
00:05:53,788 --> 00:05:55,137
it's about nurturing.
112
00:05:55,137 --> 00:05:56,747
Think of
Grandma Alice.
113
00:05:56,747 --> 00:05:58,445
She faced adversity,
and yet found
114
00:05:58,445 --> 00:06:00,708
triumph and she even
managed to give back
115
00:06:00,708 --> 00:06:02,449
with philanthropic pursuits.
116
00:06:02,449 --> 00:06:03,406
Look!
117
00:06:03,406 --> 00:06:05,103
She gave all her
money to A. A.!
118
00:06:09,673 --> 00:06:10,848
Josh, you're a
fucking genius.
119
00:06:10,848 --> 00:06:12,284
Yeah I know, right .
120
00:06:12,284 --> 00:06:13,111
Wait, why?
121
00:06:13,111 --> 00:06:14,286
Betsy.
122
00:06:14,286 --> 00:06:15,418
The car that made
me fall in love
123
00:06:15,418 --> 00:06:18,160
with everything.
124
00:06:19,988 --> 00:06:22,512
She must be worth
a mint by now.
125
00:06:22,512 --> 00:06:23,905
We gotta track
Betsy down.
126
00:06:23,905 --> 00:06:25,950
How do you plan on
doing that, Mr.?
127
00:06:25,950 --> 00:06:26,734
Don't worry.
128
00:06:26,734 --> 00:06:28,257
I got a guy.
129
00:06:29,911 --> 00:06:30,868
Foxley Classics .
130
00:06:30,868 --> 00:06:31,956
Get your blast from
the past,
131
00:06:31,956 --> 00:06:32,653
with no money down.
132
00:06:32,653 --> 00:06:33,784
Foxley?
133
00:06:33,784 --> 00:06:35,786
This is your
lucky day.
134
00:06:35,786 --> 00:06:37,005
Fitz?
135
00:06:37,005 --> 00:06:38,267
I don't think so.
136
00:06:38,267 --> 00:06:39,616
I need you to
track down my
137
00:06:39,616 --> 00:06:40,835
first love Foxley.
138
00:06:40,835 --> 00:06:41,966
Betsy.
139
00:06:41,966 --> 00:06:43,751
She's a '52
Elwood Classic.
140
00:06:43,751 --> 00:06:44,969
Well, well.
141
00:06:44,969 --> 00:06:46,014
Look who's come
crawling back
142
00:06:46,014 --> 00:06:47,450
on his hands and
knees, huh Fitz?
143
00:06:47,450 --> 00:06:49,060
Isn't that your
go-to position?
144
00:06:49,060 --> 00:06:50,671
I'll take that
as a compliment.
145
00:06:50,671 --> 00:06:52,673
Still know how to
charm a girl, I see.
146
00:06:52,673 --> 00:06:53,674
Look, find the car,
147
00:06:53,674 --> 00:06:54,675
I'll kick you a
finder's fee.
148
00:06:54,675 --> 00:06:55,676
Five bills.
149
00:06:55,676 --> 00:06:56,938
A grand.
150
00:06:56,938 --> 00:06:57,547
C'mon, Foxley.
151
00:06:57,547 --> 00:06:58,418
Seven-fifty.
152
00:06:58,418 --> 00:06:59,593
For old
time's sake.
153
00:06:59,593 --> 00:07:01,290
For old
time's sake?
154
00:07:01,290 --> 00:07:02,160
Why didn't
you say so.
155
00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:03,292
Twelve hundred.
156
00:07:03,292 --> 00:07:04,075
Fuck.
157
00:07:04,075 --> 00:07:05,207
Fine.
158
00:07:05,207 --> 00:07:06,730
A grand it is but I
want it by noon.
159
00:07:06,730 --> 00:07:09,254
Deal.
160
00:07:11,909 --> 00:07:13,215
Foxley...
161
00:07:20,527 --> 00:07:22,877
Still got it,
old man.
162
00:07:22,877 --> 00:07:24,444
Some of it, anyway.
163
00:07:30,667 --> 00:07:31,929
Maggie Murphy.
164
00:07:34,323 --> 00:07:37,935
Yeah, I put
on a few years.
165
00:07:38,806 --> 00:07:40,242
Unlike you.
166
00:07:40,242 --> 00:07:42,244
Oh, tell that
to my tits.
167
00:07:42,244 --> 00:07:45,682
If they're talking,
I'm listening.
168
00:07:47,815 --> 00:07:49,730
We had some crazy
times, huh?
169
00:07:49,730 --> 00:07:51,514
Yeah.
170
00:07:51,514 --> 00:07:53,516
Streaking through
the casino.
171
00:07:53,516 --> 00:07:54,648
You mean running
naked 'cause my
172
00:07:54,648 --> 00:07:56,954
boyfriend had
a shotgun.
173
00:07:58,913 --> 00:08:00,131
That quickee to Rio?
174
00:08:00,131 --> 00:08:01,568
You mean when you
left me stranded at
175
00:08:01,568 --> 00:08:02,873
the airport 'cause
you took Elaine
176
00:08:02,873 --> 00:08:04,092
instead of me?
177
00:08:04,092 --> 00:08:06,050
Oh yeah.
178
00:08:06,050 --> 00:08:08,966
You shoulda
been there.
179
00:08:08,966 --> 00:08:11,752
Cuba, that was you.
180
00:08:11,752 --> 00:08:13,449
Oh, Tequila.
181
00:08:13,449 --> 00:08:14,885
Qualuudes.
182
00:08:14,885 --> 00:08:17,105
A cheap motel room. And...
183
00:08:20,587 --> 00:08:23,067
That I will
never forget.
184
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,549
Why don't we take
this conversation
185
00:08:26,549 --> 00:08:28,246
somewhere else.
186
00:08:28,246 --> 00:08:29,291
Done.
187
00:08:32,816 --> 00:08:33,730
I know.
188
00:08:33,730 --> 00:08:35,384
This is awkward
for me too.
189
00:08:35,384 --> 00:08:35,950
You know,
because you were
190
00:08:35,950 --> 00:08:36,864
my girlfriend.
191
00:08:36,864 --> 00:08:37,865
And we dated...
192
00:08:37,865 --> 00:08:38,779
Come through,
Foxley?
193
00:08:38,779 --> 00:08:40,868
Piece of cake.
194
00:08:42,783 --> 00:08:44,306
How did you find
it so fast?
195
00:08:44,306 --> 00:08:46,395
Your mom sold it to me
before she blew town.
196
00:08:46,395 --> 00:08:47,875
She didn't even negotiate.
197
00:08:47,875 --> 00:08:49,964
A little fuck you to
you and your old man.
198
00:08:49,964 --> 00:08:51,356
She knew how much
that car meant
199
00:08:51,356 --> 00:08:52,575
to you
and Ken
200
00:08:52,575 --> 00:08:54,751
Oh and I'm
keeping it.
201
00:08:54,751 --> 00:08:55,926
Okay,
first of all,
202
00:08:55,926 --> 00:08:57,841
he's not my old man,
and we had a deal.
203
00:08:57,841 --> 00:08:58,929
To find the car.
204
00:08:58,929 --> 00:09:00,278
Which I did.
205
00:09:00,278 --> 00:09:01,453
The rest of your
deal can go climb
206
00:09:01,453 --> 00:09:02,672
up your urethra like
those charming
207
00:09:02,672 --> 00:09:04,718
little penis fish
in the Amazon.
208
00:09:04,718 --> 00:09:05,675
Yuck.
209
00:09:05,675 --> 00:09:07,503
Dot, this car
is not just a
210
00:09:07,503 --> 00:09:09,070
car to Richard.
211
00:09:09,070 --> 00:09:10,158
It's love.
212
00:09:10,158 --> 00:09:12,247
Abandoned by his
father and mother,
213
00:09:12,247 --> 00:09:13,378
he needs to
fill the void
214
00:09:13,378 --> 00:09:14,423
in his heart.
215
00:09:14,423 --> 00:09:15,903
Look, if this is
about us,
216
00:09:15,903 --> 00:09:17,121
don't drag
them into it.
217
00:09:17,121 --> 00:09:18,383
You really think I'd
get in bed with you
218
00:09:18,383 --> 00:09:19,341
after you ruined
my life?
219
00:09:19,341 --> 00:09:20,734
I never meant to
hurt you.
220
00:09:20,734 --> 00:09:21,778
You're the one who
walked away from
221
00:09:21,778 --> 00:09:22,257
the dealership.
222
00:09:22,257 --> 00:09:23,563
Which one?
223
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:24,694
The rotting pile of
ash or the dumpy
224
00:09:24,694 --> 00:09:26,391
trailer on the ass end
of dealership row?
225
00:09:26,391 --> 00:09:26,914
You know what?
226
00:09:26,914 --> 00:09:27,697
He's right.
227
00:09:27,697 --> 00:09:28,829
You broke up
with me.
228
00:09:28,829 --> 00:09:29,960
Fine.
229
00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:31,048
I'll give you 5k for
the car right now.
230
00:09:31,048 --> 00:09:31,788
Larry?
231
00:09:34,791 --> 00:09:36,924
Oh... uh...
232
00:09:36,924 --> 00:09:38,882
How do you feel
about layaway?
233
00:09:40,014 --> 00:09:41,842
Like I want to roll
it up and skull
234
00:09:41,842 --> 00:09:42,886
fuck you with it.
235
00:09:42,886 --> 00:09:44,105
Ladies.
236
00:09:46,847 --> 00:09:47,891
Hey! Hey!
237
00:09:47,891 --> 00:09:49,850
Hi, how are ya?
238
00:09:49,850 --> 00:09:51,808
Ok. Alright.
239
00:10:02,471 --> 00:10:03,864
Sorry you guys had to
witness that by the way.
240
00:10:03,864 --> 00:10:05,387
What can I say?
241
00:10:05,387 --> 00:10:06,910
This stud is hard
to get over.
242
00:10:06,910 --> 00:10:08,303
Had some good
times in old Bets.
243
00:10:08,303 --> 00:10:10,044
You might say it's your
very own time machine,
244
00:10:10,044 --> 00:10:11,393
transporting you
back to the land
245
00:10:11,393 --> 00:10:12,742
of yesteryear.
246
00:10:12,742 --> 00:10:13,743
It's a time
machine?
247
00:10:13,743 --> 00:10:14,396
Holy shit!
248
00:10:14,831 --> 00:10:16,093
Ouch!
249
00:10:16,093 --> 00:10:17,181
Richard, this is the
universe telling you
250
00:10:17,181 --> 00:10:18,792
to work through
your issues with
251
00:10:18,792 --> 00:10:19,923
your father and--
252
00:10:19,923 --> 00:10:21,272
Steal the car.
253
00:10:21,272 --> 00:10:23,666
I'm gonna make
her mine again.
254
00:10:23,666 --> 00:10:25,015
No, I'm pretty sure
the universe does
255
00:10:25,015 --> 00:10:26,669
not condone grand
theft auto.
256
00:10:26,669 --> 00:10:27,627
Josh can you
de-electrify
257
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:28,715
this fence?
258
00:10:28,715 --> 00:10:30,760
Can a child soldier
lay a minefield?
259
00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:31,543
We cannot
steal a car
260
00:10:31,543 --> 00:10:32,806
in broad
daylight!
261
00:10:32,806 --> 00:10:34,721
Ya, Larry's
right.
262
00:10:34,721 --> 00:10:36,026
Thank you.
263
00:10:36,026 --> 00:10:37,158
We'll wait
until dark.
264
00:10:37,158 --> 00:10:38,681
You wi -
awww.
265
00:10:38,681 --> 00:10:40,596
Josh, let's go
get a drink.
266
00:10:43,860 --> 00:10:46,515
The Church of
Intimate Light.
267
00:10:46,515 --> 00:10:48,212
Didn't that used to
be a rub'n tug?
268
00:10:48,212 --> 00:10:49,910
It's still a still a
place of connection,
269
00:10:49,910 --> 00:10:52,826
only now it helps us
unlock the deity within.
270
00:10:52,826 --> 00:10:54,392
What are you,
a fortune cookie?
271
00:10:54,392 --> 00:10:56,046
Think of me as a
cookie of eternal
272
00:10:56,046 --> 00:10:58,048
happiness,
a way to touch the
273
00:10:58,048 --> 00:11:00,094
divine and caress
the future.
274
00:11:00,094 --> 00:11:02,705
Are we still talking
about fucking.
275
00:11:02,705 --> 00:11:04,794
I never should have
brought you here.
276
00:11:04,794 --> 00:11:06,578
I just thought the
church might give
277
00:11:06,578 --> 00:11:08,145
you a sense
of release.
278
00:11:08,145 --> 00:11:09,016
The kind of
release I need,
279
00:11:09,016 --> 00:11:10,713
you don't do
in church.
280
00:11:10,713 --> 00:11:12,323
Don't you ever want
to reach for
281
00:11:12,323 --> 00:11:13,934
something more?
282
00:11:14,935 --> 00:11:15,936
That's what you said
to me that night we
283
00:11:15,936 --> 00:11:17,633
were caught doing it
on the roof of
284
00:11:17,633 --> 00:11:18,286
the Hojos.
285
00:11:19,548 --> 00:11:21,724
There's more than one
way to talk to god.
286
00:11:21,724 --> 00:11:22,725
You wanna
talk to God?
287
00:11:22,725 --> 00:11:24,901
I got a mic
right here.
288
00:11:26,555 --> 00:11:27,904
Too much huh?
289
00:11:27,904 --> 00:11:29,297
We're not getting
any younger, Kenny.
290
00:11:29,297 --> 00:11:30,820
And this is
something I
291
00:11:30,820 --> 00:11:32,735
really
believe in.
292
00:11:32,735 --> 00:11:33,736
Fuck me.
293
00:11:36,391 --> 00:11:40,395
Not unless you're a
member of the church.
294
00:11:41,962 --> 00:11:43,398
I'm in,
C'mon.
295
00:11:48,925 --> 00:11:50,884
For the record,
I am still not
296
00:11:50,884 --> 00:11:52,755
condoning this crime!
297
00:11:52,755 --> 00:11:53,800
Relax dick stilts.
298
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:55,149
It's not a crime
if it already
299
00:11:55,149 --> 00:11:56,324
belongs to you.
300
00:11:56,324 --> 00:11:57,717
This is the
family car--
301
00:11:57,717 --> 00:11:59,153
it's my fucking legacy.
302
00:11:59,153 --> 00:12:01,068
Just look at
her curves.
303
00:12:03,766 --> 00:12:07,248
You two keep an eye
out for the cops.
304
00:12:15,822 --> 00:12:17,084
This is gonna
require the
305
00:12:17,084 --> 00:12:18,868
old Fitzy touch.
306
00:12:20,957 --> 00:12:22,959
Oh... yeah.
307
00:12:24,439 --> 00:12:26,093
C'mon baby.
308
00:12:26,093 --> 00:12:27,137
Come on.
309
00:12:29,836 --> 00:12:31,707
That's my girl.
310
00:12:32,795 --> 00:12:33,753
Let's go.
311
00:12:49,986 --> 00:12:51,945
My balls are cold.
312
00:12:51,945 --> 00:12:55,209
Doesn't your divine
leader believe in heat?
313
00:12:55,209 --> 00:12:57,167
Modesty is a pebble
on the path to
314
00:12:57,167 --> 00:12:58,908
enlightenment.
315
00:12:58,908 --> 00:13:02,520
You weren't so modest
back in the day.
316
00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:03,608
Fuck.
317
00:13:03,608 --> 00:13:04,479
Feels like I got a
pebble shoved
318
00:13:04,479 --> 00:13:05,567
up my ass.
319
00:13:05,567 --> 00:13:07,612
Ahem, shhhhh.
320
00:13:09,919 --> 00:13:12,922
Silence begets
honesty, friend.
321
00:13:15,707 --> 00:13:17,187
Oh.
322
00:13:17,187 --> 00:13:19,842
You want some
fucking honesty?
323
00:13:19,842 --> 00:13:21,888
Why didn't
you say so?
324
00:13:21,888 --> 00:13:23,890
Listen up fucknuts,
325
00:13:23,890 --> 00:13:26,327
because I'll only
say this once.
326
00:13:26,327 --> 00:13:27,894
We're all
full of shit.
327
00:13:27,894 --> 00:13:29,852
But at least
I admit it.
328
00:13:29,852 --> 00:13:32,289
I don't pretend to be
some Larry Krishna
329
00:13:32,289 --> 00:13:34,204
bragging about how
humble he is.
330
00:13:34,204 --> 00:13:35,815
Ken, c'mon,
sit down.
331
00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:37,599
I'm not sittin'
anywhere.
332
00:13:37,599 --> 00:13:38,992
This fake guru
bullshit is
333
00:13:38,992 --> 00:13:41,124
a cover up and
you know it.
334
00:13:41,124 --> 00:13:42,691
As if these assholes
weren't a bunch
335
00:13:42,691 --> 00:13:44,475
of fired baristas.
336
00:13:44,475 --> 00:13:45,694
I was LAID OFF!
337
00:13:45,694 --> 00:13:46,869
I honestly think if
you'd get your sack
338
00:13:46,869 --> 00:13:48,871
drained and have a
stiff drink you
339
00:13:48,871 --> 00:13:49,872
wouldn't need to
dress like
340
00:13:49,872 --> 00:13:51,831
Gandhi's homo brother.
341
00:13:56,923 --> 00:13:58,838
He's right, Stu.
342
00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:00,665
It's Ravi Guruswami!
343
00:14:00,665 --> 00:14:01,928
And I'm the one
leading the circle
344
00:14:01,928 --> 00:14:03,190
of free sharing, ok!
345
00:14:03,190 --> 00:14:05,583
This is Burning Man
all over again.
346
00:14:05,583 --> 00:14:07,107
Obviously your unwillingness
347
00:14:07,107 --> 00:14:09,283
to accept Ravi
Guruswamin's supreme
348
00:14:09,283 --> 00:14:12,025
enlightenment has
dimmed your kwom.
349
00:14:12,025 --> 00:14:13,635
You hear that
barista-boy.
350
00:14:13,635 --> 00:14:14,810
He kicked you
in the kwom.
351
00:14:14,810 --> 00:14:17,639
Yeah, well I kicked
his ass back in
352
00:14:17,639 --> 00:14:19,249
middle school and
I'll do it again.
353
00:14:19,249 --> 00:14:20,729
Okay, you just
bought yourself an
354
00:14:20,729 --> 00:14:22,470
hour scrubbing out
the reflective pool.
355
00:14:22,470 --> 00:14:23,863
I'm shaking, Stu.
356
00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:25,168
Make that two hours.
357
00:14:25,168 --> 00:14:28,650
Those were MY fire
stilts and you know it!
358
00:14:32,959 --> 00:14:33,960
Is this the kind
of help you were
359
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:36,440
looking for,
Magpie?
360
00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:38,660
Let's get
outta here.
361
00:14:41,445 --> 00:14:43,360
What the fuck's
taking so long?
362
00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:45,928
Josh! Josh!
363
00:14:45,928 --> 00:14:47,408
Sorry, man.
364
00:14:47,408 --> 00:14:48,800
Titanium locks--
365
00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:50,454
no way we can cut
through it.
366
00:14:50,454 --> 00:14:51,934
Fuck.
367
00:14:51,934 --> 00:14:52,935
Richard, it's times
like this we need to
368
00:14:52,935 --> 00:14:54,937
think like
Grandma Alice.
369
00:14:54,937 --> 00:14:55,938
Did she let her
drinking problem
370
00:14:55,938 --> 00:14:56,852
topple her?
371
00:14:56,852 --> 00:14:58,810
No, she went
to A. A.
372
00:14:58,810 --> 00:15:01,552
It's all about moving
through adversity.
373
00:15:01,552 --> 00:15:02,989
You're absolutely
right, stink-pickle.
374
00:15:02,989 --> 00:15:04,947
We need to
move through.
375
00:15:04,947 --> 00:15:07,950
Move through very,
very fast.
376
00:15:07,950 --> 00:15:11,301
Josh, get out of
the fucking way!
377
00:15:11,301 --> 00:15:12,650
Oh no no no.
378
00:15:19,701 --> 00:15:20,876
WAIT FOR ME!!!!
379
00:15:28,971 --> 00:15:32,105
Hasn't changed
one bit.
380
00:15:32,105 --> 00:15:34,411
Same old
shitty carpet.
381
00:15:34,411 --> 00:15:36,239
Same lumpy bed.
382
00:15:36,239 --> 00:15:38,024
You don't
suppose?
383
00:15:40,069 --> 00:15:41,897
No way.
384
00:15:41,897 --> 00:15:43,681
It's been decades.
385
00:15:46,206 --> 00:15:47,294
Still there.
386
00:15:47,294 --> 00:15:48,991
You think this is
one of the ones we
387
00:15:48,991 --> 00:15:49,818
laced with pcp?
388
00:15:49,818 --> 00:15:52,603
Only one way
to find out.
389
00:15:52,603 --> 00:15:54,692
Oh God, no!
390
00:15:54,692 --> 00:15:56,433
It's been years.
391
00:16:00,046 --> 00:16:02,265
Like riding a bicycle.
392
00:16:06,052 --> 00:16:08,315
Oh that's
pretty good.
393
00:16:10,056 --> 00:16:10,970
Typical.
394
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:13,755
Another broad that
let me down.
395
00:16:16,540 --> 00:16:17,585
Fuck!
396
00:16:20,457 --> 00:16:22,546
Everything this family
touches breaks.
397
00:16:22,546 --> 00:16:24,331
What isn't broken is
that hearty
398
00:16:24,331 --> 00:16:25,767
Fitzpatrick spirit.
399
00:16:25,767 --> 00:16:27,377
What is broken is
your face if you
400
00:16:27,377 --> 00:16:29,901
open your pie-hole
one more time.
401
00:16:31,338 --> 00:16:32,643
What the fuck is wrong
with this car, Josh?
402
00:16:32,643 --> 00:16:33,775
Well, we did
just go through a
403
00:16:33,775 --> 00:16:34,819
chain-linked
fence,
404
00:16:34,819 --> 00:16:36,038
so it could be
multiple things.
405
00:16:36,038 --> 00:16:37,083
I got to get
it to a garage.
406
00:16:37,083 --> 00:16:39,824
Whoah! Hey! Whoah!
407
00:16:39,824 --> 00:16:40,477
Jeez, at least
you still have
408
00:16:40,477 --> 00:16:42,175
the memories, man.
409
00:16:42,175 --> 00:16:42,958
That's what's good
about time machines.
410
00:16:42,958 --> 00:16:43,785
There's no such
thing as
411
00:16:43,785 --> 00:16:45,439
time machines,
idiot!
412
00:16:45,439 --> 00:16:47,093
Richard, it is a
time machine.
413
00:16:47,093 --> 00:16:50,618
Look, June 14th, 1989.
414
00:16:50,618 --> 00:16:51,880
That's the day you
ran into that
415
00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:53,186
fire hydrant.
416
00:16:53,186 --> 00:16:55,057
The day Ken taught
me how to hot wire.
417
00:16:55,057 --> 00:16:55,753
Yeah.
418
00:16:55,753 --> 00:16:57,320
'89?
419
00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:58,365
Holy shit.
420
00:16:59,931 --> 00:17:01,498
Hey, come here, look.
421
00:17:02,934 --> 00:17:04,066
Junior High.
422
00:17:04,066 --> 00:17:04,980
Remember?
423
00:17:04,980 --> 00:17:06,068
Our first joint.
424
00:17:06,068 --> 00:17:07,852
We dropped
the cherry.
425
00:17:07,852 --> 00:17:09,245
We almost set the
car on fire.
426
00:17:09,245 --> 00:17:10,986
Your father
was so mad.
427
00:17:10,986 --> 00:17:12,509
He's not my father,
dick-limbs.
428
00:17:12,509 --> 00:17:14,120
Or didn't you
get that memo?
429
00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:14,859
No, Richard.
430
00:17:14,859 --> 00:17:16,861
You didn't.
431
00:17:16,861 --> 00:17:18,080
You may not be
bonded to your
432
00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:20,256
family by the chains
of DNA but you are
433
00:17:20,256 --> 00:17:22,215
bonded by happy
memories mister.
434
00:17:23,912 --> 00:17:24,913
"AA"
435
00:17:25,914 --> 00:17:28,047
That's Grandma Alice.
436
00:17:30,179 --> 00:17:32,529
It doesn't stand for
Alcoholics Anonymous.
437
00:17:32,529 --> 00:17:34,879
It stands for
Asslove Alice.
438
00:17:34,879 --> 00:17:36,925
Ohhh Alice.
439
00:17:36,925 --> 00:17:37,969
I loved her work.
440
00:17:37,969 --> 00:17:39,971
This is classic
stuff, Larry.
441
00:17:39,971 --> 00:17:41,495
Grandma Alice?
442
00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:44,150
But her philanthropic
pursuits!
443
00:17:44,150 --> 00:17:45,847
She wasn't a
444
00:17:45,847 --> 00:17:47,109
whatever-the-
fuck-ipist,
445
00:17:47,109 --> 00:17:48,632
she fucked
for money.
446
00:17:48,632 --> 00:17:49,633
Don't you get it?
447
00:17:49,633 --> 00:17:51,287
I used to wack
off to your nana.
448
00:17:51,287 --> 00:17:51,983
There's nothing
good about
449
00:17:51,983 --> 00:17:53,507
the Fitzpatricks.
450
00:17:53,507 --> 00:17:55,726
Ken, Alice,
451
00:17:57,206 --> 00:17:59,426
even this car is a
piece of shit.
452
00:17:59,426 --> 00:18:01,123
I risked my ass to
save you from Foxley.
453
00:18:01,123 --> 00:18:02,820
And this is
how it ends?
454
00:18:02,820 --> 00:18:04,909
I thought we had
something special.
455
00:18:04,909 --> 00:18:05,997
Fuck.
456
00:18:05,997 --> 00:18:08,348
We'll give you some
time, Richard.
457
00:18:08,348 --> 00:18:10,437
This is a lot
to process.
458
00:18:10,437 --> 00:18:11,916
Josh and I will try
to find us a way
459
00:18:11,916 --> 00:18:12,961
to get home.
460
00:18:14,702 --> 00:18:17,966
I'll leave you and
Betsy alone now.
461
00:18:41,163 --> 00:18:42,251
They don't make dope
like they used to.
462
00:18:42,251 --> 00:18:43,513
There's a lot of
things they don't
463
00:18:43,513 --> 00:18:45,341
make like
they use to.
464
00:18:45,341 --> 00:18:47,387
I'd do a couple
of things
465
00:18:47,387 --> 00:18:48,214
differently though.
466
00:18:48,214 --> 00:18:49,780
We can.
467
00:18:49,780 --> 00:18:51,739
You and me.
468
00:18:51,739 --> 00:18:53,088
Like we should've
done all those years
469
00:18:53,088 --> 00:18:55,960
ago before that kid
fucked up my life.
470
00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:57,962
You mean it?
471
00:18:57,962 --> 00:19:00,008
Starting with this.
472
00:19:02,271 --> 00:19:03,359
Oh, Kenny!
473
00:19:07,189 --> 00:19:08,451
I mean who would
have thunk it?
474
00:19:08,451 --> 00:19:10,801
Every gas station on
the North Side closed
475
00:19:10,801 --> 00:19:12,325
Because of National
Mechanics Day?
476
00:19:12,325 --> 00:19:13,891
I didn't get
the memo...
477
00:19:13,891 --> 00:19:14,892
What the...
478
00:19:19,897 --> 00:19:21,072
Ooooh Betsy.
479
00:19:21,072 --> 00:19:22,813
Let's run away
together Maggie.
480
00:19:24,815 --> 00:19:25,729
Start over.
481
00:19:25,729 --> 00:19:27,340
Fuck my family.
482
00:19:27,340 --> 00:19:29,037
But first, you.
483
00:19:29,037 --> 00:19:31,735
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
484
00:19:31,735 --> 00:19:33,868
Betsy! Yeah!
485
00:19:33,868 --> 00:19:34,782
Oh yeah!
486
00:19:36,044 --> 00:19:41,092
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
487
00:19:41,092 --> 00:19:42,093
OH YEAHHHH!
488
00:19:42,093 --> 00:19:48,404
AAAAAHHHHH!
489
00:19:48,404 --> 00:19:49,449
Richard--
490
00:19:56,499 --> 00:19:57,805
Ahh...
491
00:20:00,721 --> 00:20:03,202
I got nothing.
492
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:05,552
Ah, Richard...
493
00:20:07,031 --> 00:20:10,818
You are filling an
emotional void with
494
00:20:10,818 --> 00:20:12,298
with an erotic
fixation on your
495
00:20:12,298 --> 00:20:14,952
first love,
the automobile.
496
00:20:14,952 --> 00:20:16,127
Yeah I mean,
I got busy with a
497
00:20:16,127 --> 00:20:17,781
spatula once,
you know,
498
00:20:17,781 --> 00:20:19,740
but then again,
you know, who didn't?
499
00:20:19,740 --> 00:20:20,828
Right?
500
00:20:20,828 --> 00:20:21,698
Richard,
you cannot solve
501
00:20:21,698 --> 00:20:23,700
everything with intercourse.
502
00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:27,400
You were saying?
503
00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:28,966
Hahaha, shotgun!
504
00:20:53,643 --> 00:20:55,776
Why have I got
lube in my eyes?
505
00:20:55,776 --> 00:20:57,560
That's a tear.
506
00:20:57,560 --> 00:21:01,869
Fitzpatricks don't
have tear ducts: fact.
507
00:21:02,913 --> 00:21:05,176
What the fuck do I
have to cry about?
508
00:21:05,176 --> 00:21:06,265
Your son.
509
00:21:08,789 --> 00:21:11,748
I only have one son
and his name is
510
00:21:11,748 --> 00:21:13,968
Meghan Fitzpatrick.
511
00:21:13,968 --> 00:21:16,013
So that that's
what's eating you,
512
00:21:16,013 --> 00:21:17,058
isn't it?
513
00:21:17,058 --> 00:21:19,930
You didn't leave
me for Elaine.
514
00:21:19,930 --> 00:21:22,890
You left me for
your family.
515
00:21:22,890 --> 00:21:23,934
For your son.
516
00:21:23,934 --> 00:21:25,240
That makes about as
much sense as a
517
00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:28,025
Chinaman winning
the Indy 500.
518
00:21:29,766 --> 00:21:30,898
I know that
look Ken.
519
00:21:30,898 --> 00:21:32,769
That's denial.
520
00:21:33,770 --> 00:21:34,815
Also, drugs.
521
00:21:34,815 --> 00:21:37,078
But mainly denial.
522
00:21:37,078 --> 00:21:38,166
Right, I went
back for the
523
00:21:38,166 --> 00:21:40,124
bullshit kid and
the bullshit wife.
524
00:21:40,124 --> 00:21:42,779
And everything worked
out hunky-dory.
525
00:21:42,779 --> 00:21:44,259
You're being sarcastic.
526
00:21:44,259 --> 00:21:45,304
Am I?
527
00:21:49,133 --> 00:21:52,659
Wait, am I?
528
00:21:54,487 --> 00:21:56,489
You feel better now?
529
00:21:58,186 --> 00:21:59,970
Must have been
the grass.
530
00:21:59,970 --> 00:22:04,018
It's called talking
about your feelings.
531
00:22:05,802 --> 00:22:07,717
You always could
read me.
532
00:22:07,717 --> 00:22:09,632
You have a
special gift.
533
00:22:09,632 --> 00:22:10,764
And it's not just
that thing you do
534
00:22:10,764 --> 00:22:13,419
with your tongue.
535
00:22:14,768 --> 00:22:16,291
Well I better
get going.
536
00:22:16,291 --> 00:22:18,206
Prayer session
in two hours.
537
00:22:18,206 --> 00:22:21,209
Back to Guru
Fucknuts' Playhouse?
538
00:22:21,209 --> 00:22:24,255
You don't need those
miserable pricks.
539
00:22:24,255 --> 00:22:26,388
Well I may not
need the church,
540
00:22:26,388 --> 00:22:29,130
but the church
needs me.
541
00:22:29,130 --> 00:22:31,350
You're right,
I do have a gift.
542
00:22:31,350 --> 00:22:33,700
And it's time those
bastards could
543
00:22:33,700 --> 00:22:34,918
see it too.
544
00:22:42,361 --> 00:22:44,363
Give 'em hell, Mags.
545
00:22:45,842 --> 00:22:49,846
That's Maggie Guruswami
to you, fucknuts.
546
00:23:02,642 --> 00:23:03,512
Give em hell.
547
00:23:07,298 --> 00:23:08,430
Oh, great.
548
00:23:08,430 --> 00:23:11,390
Another booze-soaked
drunken-daddy call.
549
00:23:11,390 --> 00:23:12,478
What is it
this time?
550
00:23:12,478 --> 00:23:13,914
A few shots of
whiskey with a side
551
00:23:13,914 --> 00:23:15,916
order of regret?
552
00:23:15,916 --> 00:23:17,308
My mom left.
553
00:23:17,308 --> 00:23:20,573
Ken's not my
real father.
554
00:23:20,573 --> 00:23:21,225
Pat Childs is.
555
00:23:21,225 --> 00:23:23,271
Ugh, unbelievable.
556
00:23:23,271 --> 00:23:25,447
As always, it is
all about you.
557
00:23:25,447 --> 00:23:26,883
Did you even hear
what I said?
558
00:23:26,883 --> 00:23:28,450
I cannot even begin
to describe to you
559
00:23:28,450 --> 00:23:30,800
the size of the fuck
I do not give.
560
00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:32,889
Who cares if Ken is not
your biological father.
561
00:23:32,889 --> 00:23:34,151
Case in point:
you are the
562
00:23:34,151 --> 00:23:35,849
biological father
of my child,
563
00:23:35,849 --> 00:23:36,893
your only son,
564
00:23:36,893 --> 00:23:38,852
and we both know
that means nothing.
565
00:23:43,422 --> 00:23:44,771
It's up to
you, Fitz.
566
00:23:44,771 --> 00:23:48,339
Get a life or take
some place else.
567
00:24:02,876 --> 00:24:07,228
Hey! You lying
meatsack!
568
00:24:07,228 --> 00:24:09,709
Who the fuck says the
secret is "heart?!"
569
00:24:09,709 --> 00:24:11,754
The heart is nothing
but a fucked up,
570
00:24:11,754 --> 00:24:14,061
miserable,
abandoning whore!
571
00:24:14,061 --> 00:24:15,062
What are you
talking about?
572
00:24:15,062 --> 00:24:17,064
It's 100% pure
beef heart.
573
00:24:17,064 --> 00:24:18,805
Organic,
rich in iron,
574
00:24:18,805 --> 00:24:20,459
silky texture.
575
00:24:20,459 --> 00:24:21,851
Buy three,
get one free!
576
00:24:33,863 --> 00:24:43,307
♪ Just a closer
walk with thee ♪
577
00:24:43,307 --> 00:24:50,489
♪ Grant it Jesus
is my plea ♪
578
00:24:54,101 --> 00:24:55,537
Your chosen elixir?
579
00:24:55,537 --> 00:24:58,235
Triple scotch,
straight up.
580
00:24:58,235 --> 00:24:59,802
And what of you,
White Satan?
581
00:24:59,802 --> 00:25:01,761
Three fingers of bourbon.
582
00:25:01,761 --> 00:25:02,849
Neat.
583
00:25:02,849 --> 00:25:09,203
♪ Let it be dear lord
let it be ♪
584
00:25:23,609 --> 00:25:25,045
There will be no
cancer causing
585
00:25:25,045 --> 00:25:28,178
sticks in this
establishment!
586
00:25:28,178 --> 00:25:30,006
Get out.
587
00:25:30,006 --> 00:25:31,355
We are neither
in Cameroon,
588
00:25:31,355 --> 00:25:34,141
nor the mid-to-late
nineties!
589
00:25:38,624 --> 00:25:39,755
GOOD DAY,
SIR!
590
00:25:49,635 --> 00:25:56,685
♪ When my feeble
life is over ♪
591
00:25:58,513 --> 00:26:06,782
♪ Time for me shall
be no more ♪
592
00:26:08,479 --> 00:26:14,877
♪ Guide me gently,
safely over ♪
593
00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:20,883
♪ To thy kingdom shores
594
00:26:20,883 --> 00:26:24,800
♪ To thy shore.
595
00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:26,541
Hey Childs,
it's Fitz.
596
00:26:29,109 --> 00:26:31,720
Listen, about
that job offer--
597
00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:33,592
We should talk.
598
00:26:33,592 --> 00:26:36,203
Just a closer walk
599
00:26:36,203 --> 00:26:43,819
♪ Grant it Jesus
is my plea.
600
00:26:45,386 --> 00:26:53,873
♪ Daily walking
close to thee ♪
601
00:26:53,873 --> 00:27:01,924
♪ Let it be dear lord,
let it be ♪
602
00:27:01,924 --> 00:27:06,625
♪ Just a closer walk
with thee-eeeee ♪
38823
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