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1
00:00:18,279 --> 00:00:20,585
Hey, pay attention, fuckers...
2
00:00:20,585 --> 00:00:24,067
The devil-father Fitzpatrick
has found a most ingenious way
3
00:00:24,067 --> 00:00:25,764
out of our sales contract.
4
00:00:25,764 --> 00:00:27,723
Starting his own religion.
5
00:00:27,723 --> 00:00:29,072
Tax-free profits.
6
00:00:29,072 --> 00:00:30,378
Halle-fucking-lujah.
7
00:00:30,378 --> 00:00:32,467
We were always good
business partners, Lainey.
8
00:00:32,467 --> 00:00:34,295
I would like to go for
ice cream with you, Larry.
9
00:00:34,295 --> 00:00:36,079
More than you could
possibly imagine.
10
00:00:36,079 --> 00:00:37,950
We need to shore up votes,
and fast.
11
00:00:37,950 --> 00:00:40,649
Look who's decided to
wake up and give a shit!
12
00:00:40,649 --> 00:00:44,131
Fine, but I'm doing
this for me, not you. Me.
13
00:00:44,131 --> 00:00:45,741
You know Ken's just
gonna fuck you over
14
00:00:45,741 --> 00:00:46,872
like he always does.
15
00:00:46,872 --> 00:00:48,265
This isn't what it looks like.
16
00:00:48,265 --> 00:00:50,441
That little shit was
right about you!
17
00:00:50,441 --> 00:00:53,401
Hey, God, it's me, Fitz.
18
00:00:53,401 --> 00:00:54,924
I need to speak to Frank.
19
00:00:54,924 --> 00:00:56,317
I'm havin' a kid.
20
00:00:56,317 --> 00:00:57,666
And I don't want
the little fucker
21
00:00:57,666 --> 00:00:59,320
to think I'm a loser,
like my old man.
22
00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:01,191
I gotta win this
fuckin' election.
23
00:01:01,191 --> 00:01:03,063
So throw me a bone,
will ya, Frank?
24
00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:04,586
Richard Fitzpatrick won?
25
00:01:04,586 --> 00:01:05,717
Ha!
26
00:01:05,717 --> 00:01:07,023
That's right, fuckers!
27
00:01:07,023 --> 00:01:09,591
Fitz won,
and I won it for him!
28
00:01:09,591 --> 00:01:11,071
Woo hoo!
29
00:01:16,511 --> 00:01:19,122
There are two kinds
of people in this world.
30
00:01:19,122 --> 00:01:21,081
Those who float
above all the shit,
31
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:24,867
and those who run
right through it.
32
00:01:24,867 --> 00:01:27,435
Genghis Khan,
he was a floater.
33
00:01:27,435 --> 00:01:29,611
He lead strong,
crushed his enemies
34
00:01:29,611 --> 00:01:31,700
and the weaklings followed.
35
00:01:31,700 --> 00:01:33,223
People need a leader
36
00:01:33,223 --> 00:01:36,400
who tells them what to want,
how to get it,
37
00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:39,011
and who doesn't have
shit on his heels.
38
00:01:40,535 --> 00:01:44,191
First order of business -
get my office up to code.
39
00:01:44,191 --> 00:01:45,757
I don't think you
get your own office.
40
00:01:45,757 --> 00:01:47,063
The city can't afford it.
41
00:01:47,063 --> 00:01:48,282
Then get me one.
42
00:01:48,282 --> 00:01:51,023
With a turntable
and my Sinatra 45's.
43
00:01:51,023 --> 00:01:52,590
Some nudes for the wall.
44
00:01:52,590 --> 00:01:54,114
And a shark tank.
45
00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:55,289
No stripper pole?
46
00:01:55,289 --> 00:01:57,813
Already ordered.
47
00:01:57,813 --> 00:02:00,207
Richard,
we're moments away
48
00:02:00,207 --> 00:02:02,905
from tasting our
sweet dream together.
49
00:02:02,905 --> 00:02:06,343
It's a bar, cockswab,
not a bath house.
50
00:02:06,343 --> 00:02:08,737
Time to get shit done.
51
00:02:08,737 --> 00:02:11,000
Lead with your balls.
52
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:12,784
And never apologize
53
00:02:12,784 --> 00:02:15,004
when your pubes get
in someone's face.
54
00:02:16,527 --> 00:02:18,007
It's Fitz o'clock, fuckers.
55
00:02:18,007 --> 00:02:20,009
I'm a councilman now.
56
00:02:20,009 --> 00:02:22,446
Retract that titmouse law;
I got a bar to open.
57
00:02:22,446 --> 00:02:24,579
I'm sorry, but we're
locked in a stalemate
58
00:02:24,579 --> 00:02:28,626
over Cat Leash Ordinance C-39.
59
00:02:28,626 --> 00:02:30,541
All new legislation
is to be tabled
60
00:02:30,541 --> 00:02:32,717
on a first come
first serve basis.
61
00:02:32,717 --> 00:02:34,328
How long's it gonna take?
62
00:02:34,328 --> 00:02:37,287
Let's see...
63
00:02:37,287 --> 00:02:38,593
Three years.
Give or take.
64
00:02:40,595 --> 00:02:42,118
Fuck.
65
00:03:36,781 --> 00:03:38,261
Okay, look.
66
00:03:38,261 --> 00:03:40,959
I'm sorry city council was
too busy with kitty cats
67
00:03:40,959 --> 00:03:42,700
to allow you to open
your bar right away.
68
00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:45,964
But what a great lesson
in patience, am I right?
69
00:03:45,964 --> 00:03:47,357
Poor baby hit a roadblock
70
00:03:47,357 --> 00:03:49,011
on his first hour
at his new job.
71
00:03:49,011 --> 00:03:50,752
You're the one who
wanted the job.
72
00:03:50,752 --> 00:03:52,362
I merely got it for you.
73
00:03:52,362 --> 00:03:53,885
And that's why you're fired.
74
00:03:55,626 --> 00:03:57,411
I'm not the enemy here.
75
00:03:57,411 --> 00:03:58,890
And, trust me,
76
00:03:58,890 --> 00:04:01,284
you do not want
to make me one.
77
00:04:01,284 --> 00:04:03,155
We've been enemies, Foxley,
78
00:04:03,155 --> 00:04:04,635
and we've been friends.
79
00:04:04,635 --> 00:04:06,420
Neither one's
done me much good.
80
00:04:21,130 --> 00:04:23,611
Remember this moment, Fitz.
81
00:04:23,611 --> 00:04:28,093
Because this moment,
right here,
82
00:04:28,093 --> 00:04:30,487
is exactly when you
fucked yourself.
83
00:04:34,926 --> 00:04:36,450
For what it's worth,
84
00:04:36,450 --> 00:04:39,017
I never thought Dot
85
00:04:39,017 --> 00:04:41,803
was a worthy member
of Team Fitz.
86
00:04:41,803 --> 00:04:43,239
Now that the dead
weight is gone
87
00:04:43,239 --> 00:04:45,502
we can focus on your
Summerwind dream-
88
00:04:45,502 --> 00:04:48,288
Could you take
a memo for me, Larry?
89
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:49,898
I would be oh so very honored
90
00:04:49,898 --> 00:04:52,292
to take your first memo, Councilman.
91
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:53,858
To, Larry. Larry.
92
00:04:53,858 --> 00:04:55,904
your ass. Ass.
93
00:04:55,904 --> 00:04:57,209
It's fired too.
94
00:04:57,209 --> 00:04:58,863
...fired too.
95
00:05:01,083 --> 00:05:02,563
No, no, no...
96
00:05:06,697 --> 00:05:08,438
I feel so betrayed.
97
00:05:08,438 --> 00:05:09,918
After all I've done for him,
98
00:05:09,918 --> 00:05:11,528
he just throws me
away like a pair of...
99
00:05:11,528 --> 00:05:12,834
dirty underpants.
100
00:05:12,834 --> 00:05:14,183
You know, Larry,
101
00:05:14,183 --> 00:05:16,316
you're kinda sounding like
panties right now.
102
00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:17,491
You want to be panties
103
00:05:17,491 --> 00:05:18,709
or you want to
be boxer shorts?
104
00:05:18,709 --> 00:05:21,103
Huh...
Boxer shorts?
105
00:05:21,103 --> 00:05:22,234
Fuck yeah.
106
00:05:22,234 --> 00:05:24,324
Boxer shorts with
big balls in them.
107
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:25,890
Balls that are
out to get even.
108
00:05:28,458 --> 00:05:31,679
I always say 'revenge is a
dish best served with...
109
00:05:31,679 --> 00:05:34,377
yeah...
Dioxin poisoned sushi.'
110
00:05:34,377 --> 00:05:35,378
Nom nom nom...
111
00:05:37,902 --> 00:05:39,861
Or, oh yeah,
the old water gun
112
00:05:39,861 --> 00:05:41,471
full of sulfuric acid.
113
00:05:44,126 --> 00:05:45,780
Oh, yeah.
114
00:05:45,780 --> 00:05:47,303
The Atomic wedgie.
115
00:05:47,303 --> 00:05:49,000
Classic...
116
00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:50,959
Those all sound
a little extreme, Josh.
117
00:05:50,959 --> 00:05:53,396
Then what's your
idea of revenge, Larry?
118
00:05:53,396 --> 00:05:54,528
Stink bomb in a locker?
119
00:05:54,528 --> 00:05:56,094
Don't be such
a fucking nerd.
120
00:05:56,094 --> 00:05:58,009
I don't want to take
revenge on Richard.
121
00:05:58,009 --> 00:06:00,664
Revenge on Fitz -
How can you even think that?
122
00:06:00,664 --> 00:06:02,100
Josh, you're the one who-
123
00:06:02,100 --> 00:06:03,754
After everything
you did to him?
124
00:06:03,754 --> 00:06:05,408
Filled his head
with false hope.
125
00:06:05,408 --> 00:06:07,410
Made him take on a SECOND job.
126
00:06:07,410 --> 00:06:09,586
And now you plot
deadly revenge?
127
00:06:09,586 --> 00:06:12,546
Oh my God, you're right... Maybe.
128
00:06:12,546 --> 00:06:14,852
You better apologize to Fitz
129
00:06:14,852 --> 00:06:16,985
or I will punch you
in the feelings.
130
00:06:16,985 --> 00:06:18,682
You get me?
131
00:06:18,682 --> 00:06:21,424
If I say anything
other than yes
132
00:06:21,424 --> 00:06:23,078
you'll hurt me, right?
133
00:06:33,871 --> 00:06:35,307
I'm a wolf.
134
00:06:35,307 --> 00:06:37,745
Up on that hill, they're
all spineless douchebags.
135
00:06:37,745 --> 00:06:38,876
Sheep.
136
00:06:38,876 --> 00:06:40,269
I'll be fucked if I'm gonna
137
00:06:40,269 --> 00:06:42,402
listen to them jaw
about cat laws all day.
138
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:43,968
Then stick to what
you're good at.
139
00:06:43,968 --> 00:06:45,492
Right.
140
00:06:45,492 --> 00:06:48,059
What am I good at?
141
00:06:48,059 --> 00:06:51,323
Fitz,
you're a born salesman.
142
00:06:51,323 --> 00:06:53,413
You knocked me up in the
back of a station wagon
143
00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:54,892
on my wedding day,
144
00:06:54,892 --> 00:06:57,112
got me to leave
the only semi-stable,
145
00:06:57,112 --> 00:06:59,244
employed man I've
met in my life
146
00:06:59,244 --> 00:07:01,377
and convinced me that
we might work together.
147
00:07:01,377 --> 00:07:04,075
Yeah, I showed
that weasely fuck.
148
00:07:04,075 --> 00:07:05,773
Exactly.
149
00:07:05,773 --> 00:07:07,992
Don't worry about the puppets.
150
00:07:07,992 --> 00:07:09,994
You want the guy who
pulls the strings.
151
00:07:09,994 --> 00:07:12,127
Go after the mayor.
152
00:07:12,127 --> 00:07:16,131
Yeah, how hard can it be
to get one guy on my side?
153
00:07:16,131 --> 00:07:17,872
Especially
when he has no backbone
154
00:07:17,872 --> 00:07:20,701
and a drinking problem.
155
00:07:20,701 --> 00:07:23,312
We swim in the same circles.
156
00:07:23,312 --> 00:07:26,141
At least we will until I have
to go on maternity leave.
157
00:07:26,141 --> 00:07:28,056
Well now he's swimming
with a shark, baby.
158
00:07:28,056 --> 00:07:29,840
I thought you were a wolf.
159
00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:31,538
You're hot when you're
being all smart and shit.
160
00:07:31,538 --> 00:07:33,714
Yeah?
Mmmm.
161
00:07:45,377 --> 00:07:47,554
Mr. Fitzpatrick?
162
00:07:47,554 --> 00:07:49,643
Call me Fitz, Mayor Andrews.
163
00:07:49,643 --> 00:07:53,081
So... why are we at
a naked lady bar?
164
00:07:53,081 --> 00:07:55,518
The buffet is excellent.
165
00:07:57,912 --> 00:07:59,043
Lunch?
166
00:07:59,043 --> 00:08:00,392
No, no.
No thanks.
167
00:08:00,392 --> 00:08:02,046
Suit yourself.
168
00:08:07,356 --> 00:08:09,532
Well...
Maybe just one.
169
00:08:09,532 --> 00:08:12,317
Atta boy.
170
00:08:20,587 --> 00:08:22,806
But, I'm a servant
to the public-
171
00:08:22,806 --> 00:08:23,938
They voted you in.
172
00:08:23,938 --> 00:08:25,548
Gave you the keys
to the joint.
173
00:08:25,548 --> 00:08:28,203
Take it for a spin.
174
00:08:28,203 --> 00:08:30,553
Do whatever you want.
Whenever you want.
175
00:08:30,553 --> 00:08:32,163
You earned that shit.
176
00:08:32,163 --> 00:08:35,079
Yeah, I did.
177
00:08:35,079 --> 00:08:37,821
Stop asking what people need.
178
00:08:37,821 --> 00:08:39,388
They don't fucking know.
179
00:08:39,388 --> 00:08:40,868
Grow a pair.
180
00:08:49,267 --> 00:08:51,095
Oooh...
181
00:08:52,488 --> 00:08:53,663
I love you.
182
00:08:55,317 --> 00:08:56,753
I love you!
183
00:08:56,753 --> 00:08:58,929
Don't mind, Niko.
She's a little shy.
184
00:08:58,929 --> 00:09:01,062
Niko!
That's Niko.
185
00:09:01,062 --> 00:09:02,977
Niko has special skills.
186
00:09:06,589 --> 00:09:08,591
Wow, that's quite a talent!
187
00:09:08,591 --> 00:09:10,724
Looks like you two could use
a little alone time.
188
00:09:10,724 --> 00:09:12,029
Hey...
189
00:09:12,029 --> 00:09:13,596
How 'bout some
lap dances, hon?
190
00:09:13,596 --> 00:09:15,555
Oh, and...
bring a friend.
191
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:17,774
That chick who can
go down on herself, yeah?
192
00:09:17,774 --> 00:09:18,775
Giddyup.
193
00:09:20,429 --> 00:09:23,345
Giddyup!
194
00:09:23,345 --> 00:09:24,868
Ahh!
195
00:09:26,914 --> 00:09:28,263
Good news!
196
00:09:28,263 --> 00:09:30,657
I have a plan.
197
00:09:30,657 --> 00:09:32,920
I'm going to apologize!
To Richard!
198
00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:34,399
That's right!
199
00:09:34,399 --> 00:09:36,227
I'm going to teach Richard
the power of forgiveness.
200
00:09:36,227 --> 00:09:38,142
I'll be back at City Hall
before you can spell
201
00:09:38,142 --> 00:09:39,361
"filibuster."
202
00:09:41,450 --> 00:09:43,321
Suck it up, kitten.
203
00:09:43,321 --> 00:09:44,888
Your boyfriend is gone.
204
00:09:44,888 --> 00:09:46,847
Time to give it up.
205
00:09:46,847 --> 00:09:49,719
I'll never give up on Richard!
206
00:09:49,719 --> 00:09:52,896
You want to teach
him forgiveness?
207
00:09:52,896 --> 00:09:54,724
Crush him, Larry.
208
00:09:54,724 --> 00:09:57,074
Crush him until
he crawls back to you,
209
00:09:57,074 --> 00:09:59,555
his knees like
bloody linguini.
210
00:09:59,555 --> 00:10:02,602
And when the salt from his
own tears burns his wounds
211
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:05,343
and he whimpers for
someone to end his pain,
212
00:10:05,343 --> 00:10:09,086
you can show him forgiveness
by caving his skull in
213
00:10:09,086 --> 00:10:10,653
with the sledge hammer
214
00:10:10,653 --> 00:10:14,004
of a wasted life and
an eternity of regret.
215
00:10:21,533 --> 00:10:25,102
We have to drive outside city
limits to enjoy ourselves.
216
00:10:25,102 --> 00:10:26,974
It's a God damn crime.
217
00:10:26,974 --> 00:10:29,367
This, right here, is
what Coverton needs.
218
00:10:29,367 --> 00:10:30,630
A little spice.
Am I right?
219
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:33,154
Yeah.
Oh my God, yeah.
220
00:10:33,154 --> 00:10:34,851
So let's go downtown
and get it done.
221
00:10:34,851 --> 00:10:36,200
Like men.
222
00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:37,680
We gotta repeal the
titmouse ordinance
223
00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:39,987
and get the Summerwind
back on track, ok?
224
00:10:39,987 --> 00:10:43,294
That sounds good.
So fucking good.
225
00:10:43,294 --> 00:10:46,558
Richard,
I'm sorry for interrupting.
226
00:10:46,558 --> 00:10:48,996
but I'm here to apologize.
227
00:10:48,996 --> 00:10:50,911
And not for
interrupting just now,
228
00:10:50,911 --> 00:10:52,826
though I am very sorry
for that as well.
229
00:10:52,826 --> 00:10:54,218
Spit it out, fucknut.
230
00:10:54,218 --> 00:10:55,611
We're paying by the song here.
231
00:10:55,611 --> 00:10:58,179
Richard...
232
00:10:58,179 --> 00:11:01,835
I'm sorry I let you down
and you had to fire me.
233
00:11:01,835 --> 00:11:04,011
It is my hope that
this apology
234
00:11:04,011 --> 00:11:06,013
shows you the
value of forgiveness.
235
00:11:06,013 --> 00:11:07,797
- Larry?
- Yes?
236
00:11:10,321 --> 00:11:11,671
Iris...
237
00:11:14,543 --> 00:11:16,327
You're a stripper?
238
00:11:16,327 --> 00:11:17,807
And you.
239
00:11:17,807 --> 00:11:19,679
You make her take
her clothes off?
240
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:20,723
No, Larry.
241
00:11:20,723 --> 00:11:22,638
I pay her to take
her clothes off.
242
00:11:22,638 --> 00:11:24,292
And that's not all.
243
00:11:24,292 --> 00:11:26,816
Niko, get up there and
show 'em the main attraction.
244
00:11:26,816 --> 00:11:29,993
You're gonna love this, Larry.
245
00:11:29,993 --> 00:11:31,734
I don't understand.
How could you just-
246
00:11:31,734 --> 00:11:33,431
It's just my job, Larry.
247
00:11:33,431 --> 00:11:35,390
I didn't know how to tell you.
248
00:11:35,390 --> 00:11:38,219
Showing men my dirty pillows
makes them happy.
249
00:11:38,219 --> 00:11:39,699
And that makes me happy.
250
00:11:40,874 --> 00:11:42,310
Am I right, or am I right?
251
00:11:44,268 --> 00:11:45,966
Your bunny...
252
00:11:45,966 --> 00:11:48,490
Your bunny that got
killed by the GT...
253
00:11:48,490 --> 00:11:50,448
That was a lie?
254
00:11:50,448 --> 00:11:51,972
Of course it was, fucknugget.
255
00:11:51,972 --> 00:11:53,713
I had to feed her
some bullshit story.
256
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:55,323
Only way I could make sure
257
00:11:55,323 --> 00:11:56,716
you'd open up to
someone with a vagina.
258
00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,239
It's very pretty,
by the way.
259
00:11:58,239 --> 00:11:59,370
Thank you.
260
00:11:59,370 --> 00:12:02,156
You could have
any girl you want.
261
00:12:02,156 --> 00:12:04,288
And you go after Iris?
262
00:12:04,288 --> 00:12:05,942
My Iris?
263
00:12:08,162 --> 00:12:11,382
I will never forgive
you for this.
264
00:12:11,382 --> 00:12:13,558
Eff you both!
265
00:12:13,558 --> 00:12:16,344
Eff you all to H!
266
00:12:16,344 --> 00:12:18,041
Larry, wait!
267
00:12:18,041 --> 00:12:19,739
Whoa! Where'd that
second one come from?
268
00:12:32,882 --> 00:12:35,058
Our debate is at
a critical juncture,
269
00:12:35,058 --> 00:12:37,234
cats are urinating
willy-nilly,
270
00:12:37,234 --> 00:12:39,106
and you have the
nerve to sleep in?
271
00:12:39,106 --> 00:12:40,672
Someone needs to get laid.
272
00:12:40,672 --> 00:12:41,978
Or likes to get peed on.
273
00:12:41,978 --> 00:12:44,720
Point is, sit down
and shut the fuck up.
274
00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:46,896
This cat law
bullshit is finito.
275
00:12:46,896 --> 00:12:48,376
That's right.
276
00:12:48,376 --> 00:12:49,899
We're having a
motherfucking vote
277
00:12:49,899 --> 00:12:51,683
all up in this bitch.
278
00:12:51,683 --> 00:12:53,076
I'll second the
shit out of that.
279
00:12:53,076 --> 00:12:56,471
Okay.
Who wants cat leashes?
280
00:12:56,471 --> 00:13:01,476
And those who are
all like, 'no way'?
281
00:13:01,476 --> 00:13:04,174
Okay.
No leashes!
282
00:13:04,174 --> 00:13:06,350
Free pussy!
283
00:13:06,350 --> 00:13:08,091
And the other thing.
Don't forget the other thing.
284
00:13:08,091 --> 00:13:09,397
Oh yeah.
285
00:13:09,397 --> 00:13:11,834
And Fitz -
who is wicked by the way -
286
00:13:11,834 --> 00:13:13,488
you guys should
all hang with him -
287
00:13:13,488 --> 00:13:15,838
is now deputy mayor.
288
00:13:15,838 --> 00:13:17,361
But you said I was
gonna be deputy.
289
00:13:17,361 --> 00:13:19,668
How would you like
your face punched in, eh?
290
00:13:19,668 --> 00:13:21,931
All right.
Motion carried.
291
00:13:23,933 --> 00:13:26,414
Richard Fitzpatrick
is the man.
292
00:13:26,414 --> 00:13:27,850
Now...
293
00:13:27,850 --> 00:13:29,504
I move we all go
over to the Danger Zone
294
00:13:29,504 --> 00:13:30,766
and have lunch.
295
00:13:30,766 --> 00:13:32,202
The buffet is the bomb.
296
00:13:32,202 --> 00:13:34,726
That buffet...
297
00:13:34,726 --> 00:13:36,772
Come on!
Come on, kids...
298
00:13:36,772 --> 00:13:38,730
You guys...
299
00:13:38,730 --> 00:13:41,690
Fitz'll introduce you to
all sorts of delicacies...
300
00:13:43,039 --> 00:13:44,432
Ah, that buffet.
301
00:13:44,432 --> 00:13:45,955
Mr. Mayor!
302
00:13:58,925 --> 00:14:02,232
How did your
little apology go?
303
00:14:02,232 --> 00:14:04,147
I'm done with apologies.
304
00:14:04,147 --> 00:14:06,410
You're in good
company, friend.
305
00:14:12,460 --> 00:14:14,027
I know we've had our
share of differences
306
00:14:14,027 --> 00:14:15,506
over the years, Larry.
307
00:14:15,506 --> 00:14:17,117
But, as you can see,
308
00:14:17,117 --> 00:14:19,336
the League of Sober
Entrepreneurs prides itself
309
00:14:19,336 --> 00:14:21,512
on being an inclusive
lobby group.
310
00:14:21,512 --> 00:14:24,776
Please, have a seat.
311
00:14:29,346 --> 00:14:30,913
If we are
'sober entrepreneurs'
312
00:14:30,913 --> 00:14:32,567
why are we meeting in a bar?
313
00:14:32,567 --> 00:14:33,829
Because fuck off, that's why.
314
00:14:33,829 --> 00:14:36,919
The League of Sober
Entrepreneurs?
315
00:14:36,919 --> 00:14:38,921
- 'L.O.S.E.R.S.' for short.
- Shut up.
316
00:14:38,921 --> 00:14:41,706
I said no acronyms
and it's my group.
317
00:14:41,706 --> 00:14:45,058
Now, as per our
mission statement -
318
00:14:45,058 --> 00:14:47,103
'The League of
Sober Entrepreneurs
319
00:14:47,103 --> 00:14:49,932
lobbies government to destroy
that degenerate dickhead,
320
00:14:49,932 --> 00:14:51,412
Richard Fitzpatrick.'
321
00:14:51,412 --> 00:14:54,067
'Dickhead' was
my contribution.
322
00:14:54,067 --> 00:14:56,547
We have the resources.
We have the manpower.
323
00:14:56,547 --> 00:14:58,462
Now we just need a plan.
324
00:15:00,943 --> 00:15:04,077
I have a plan.
325
00:15:04,077 --> 00:15:07,907
We'll hit Fitz
where it hurts...
326
00:15:09,996 --> 00:15:12,172
Looks like someone's
grown a set of lady balls.
327
00:15:18,439 --> 00:15:20,310
Stand back, Miss Foxley.
328
00:15:20,310 --> 00:15:22,834
With a one two combo of caring
and compelling arguments,
329
00:15:22,834 --> 00:15:25,576
I, Larry, will make
our plan heard...
330
00:15:25,576 --> 00:15:26,969
And hopefully implemented...
331
00:15:26,969 --> 00:15:28,928
If...
if people like it.
332
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:30,799
You're planning.
I'm execution.
333
00:15:30,799 --> 00:15:32,366
I'll deal with Mayor Bitchass.
334
00:15:32,366 --> 00:15:34,194
It's Andrews.
335
00:15:34,194 --> 00:15:36,631
Mayor Andrews.
336
00:15:36,631 --> 00:15:38,894
Let's skip the names and
focus on the fucking.
337
00:15:38,894 --> 00:15:40,504
Focus on the what now?
338
00:15:40,504 --> 00:15:41,723
Beg your pardon, ma'am?
339
00:15:41,723 --> 00:15:44,204
Don't beg.
Not yet.
340
00:15:44,204 --> 00:15:48,904
That comes after I rip, tear,
slap, lick, scream, claw,
341
00:15:48,904 --> 00:15:52,081
spank, bite, suck,
whip, slurp and swallow.
342
00:15:52,081 --> 00:15:53,474
Ah!
343
00:15:53,474 --> 00:15:56,651
That's when you can beg.
344
00:15:56,651 --> 00:15:58,870
Does that sound ok to you?
345
00:16:00,263 --> 00:16:02,874
If I yell yes
and this is a dream,
346
00:16:02,874 --> 00:16:04,920
will I wake myself up?
347
00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:07,183
First things first.
348
00:16:07,183 --> 00:16:08,924
We have a by-law to pass.
349
00:16:17,933 --> 00:16:19,891
God damn mayor,
what the fuck's he doing?
350
00:16:21,676 --> 00:16:22,982
Fitz, I want you
to know up front,
351
00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:25,027
this wasn't my idea!
352
00:16:25,027 --> 00:16:28,378
So nice of you to join us, Richard.
353
00:16:28,378 --> 00:16:29,989
What the fuck?
354
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:33,905
The fuck, Mr. Fitzpatrick,
is prohibition.
355
00:16:33,905 --> 00:16:36,169
What are you losers
talking about?
356
00:16:36,169 --> 00:16:38,258
So you've heard
of our organization?
357
00:16:38,258 --> 00:16:39,346
Good.
358
00:16:39,346 --> 00:16:40,956
You see, Maverick,
359
00:16:40,956 --> 00:16:42,436
while you were at
the Danger Zone,
360
00:16:42,436 --> 00:16:43,785
we had a little chat
with city council.
361
00:16:43,785 --> 00:16:46,092
about Coverton's
declining morality.
362
00:16:46,092 --> 00:16:49,312
She's very... persuasive.
363
00:16:49,312 --> 00:16:51,010
And they were only too
happy to put
364
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:53,534
the last nail in the coffin
of your pathetic dream.
365
00:16:53,534 --> 00:16:56,015
A near-unanimous vote.
366
00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:57,886
If it makes you feel
any better, buddy,
367
00:16:57,886 --> 00:16:59,844
I abstained.
368
00:16:59,844 --> 00:17:01,716
I told you not to fuck with me.
369
00:17:01,716 --> 00:17:03,935
You backstabbing
semen chugger.
370
00:17:03,935 --> 00:17:05,720
This was your idea,
wasn't it.
371
00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:07,635
Sticks and stones
may break my bones
372
00:17:07,635 --> 00:17:09,854
but council passed the vote.
373
00:17:09,854 --> 00:17:11,813
Coverton is a dry town, Richard.
374
00:17:11,813 --> 00:17:13,858
The Summerwind
will never open.
375
00:17:21,127 --> 00:17:24,086
Well, we'll always have
the Danger Zone, huh, buddy?
376
00:17:29,178 --> 00:17:32,399
Council's controversial
move to pass prohibition
377
00:17:32,399 --> 00:17:35,489
has indignant citizens...
378
00:17:35,489 --> 00:17:37,491
swarming the streets.
379
00:17:37,491 --> 00:17:40,189
An emergency council
session has been called
380
00:17:40,189 --> 00:17:43,105
for this afternoon to
deal with the chaos...
381
00:17:43,105 --> 00:17:45,020
This is Melody Gray,
382
00:17:45,020 --> 00:17:48,023
reporting live from the mean
streets of Coverton.
383
00:17:49,155 --> 00:17:51,331
Prohibition -
what are they, nuts?
384
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:55,335
Fitzy!
385
00:17:55,335 --> 00:17:56,336
Where the fuck have you been?
386
00:17:56,336 --> 00:17:57,598
Here's the thing.
387
00:17:57,598 --> 00:17:59,121
Your friends helped me realize
388
00:17:59,121 --> 00:18:01,515
it was high time I
straighten up and fly right.
389
00:18:01,515 --> 00:18:05,432
So I quit drinking
and joined AA.
390
00:18:05,432 --> 00:18:07,390
And you should join too.
391
00:18:07,390 --> 00:18:10,132
How do you live with yourself?
392
00:18:10,132 --> 00:18:12,830
Cheap suits.
Piece of shit car.
393
00:18:12,830 --> 00:18:14,528
Now you want to
deprive yourself
394
00:18:14,528 --> 00:18:16,138
of the one thing
that makes you happy?
395
00:18:16,138 --> 00:18:18,184
You're pathetic.
396
00:18:18,184 --> 00:18:19,620
You're right.
397
00:18:19,620 --> 00:18:20,795
I shouldn't have
quit drinking.
398
00:18:20,795 --> 00:18:22,449
What the hell
was I thinking of?
399
00:18:22,449 --> 00:18:23,928
AA?
400
00:18:23,928 --> 00:18:25,843
All right, look.
We can fix this, buddy.
401
00:18:25,843 --> 00:18:28,324
We can really make it work...
402
00:18:28,324 --> 00:18:30,892
Um... maybe.
Right?
403
00:18:30,892 --> 00:18:33,242
Sit your flip-flopping
ass down, and listen up.
404
00:18:33,242 --> 00:18:34,635
Great idea.
405
00:18:34,635 --> 00:18:36,289
Genius, actually.
406
00:18:36,289 --> 00:18:37,986
Where do you come
up with this stuff?
407
00:18:37,986 --> 00:18:40,162
You need to act fast
and repeal prohibition.
408
00:18:40,162 --> 00:18:42,904
Swift action.
That's the move.
409
00:18:42,904 --> 00:18:44,688
Right on, brother.
410
00:18:44,688 --> 00:18:46,516
Well,
wait, can I do that?
411
00:18:46,516 --> 00:18:47,735
I'll have
to ask someone.
412
00:18:47,735 --> 00:18:49,128
Don't ask. Tell.
413
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:50,564
At today's council meeting.
414
00:18:50,564 --> 00:18:52,043
Here's the thing.
415
00:18:52,043 --> 00:18:55,134
I have a tummy ache
so I'm gonna skip that.
416
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:56,613
A couple nights ago
417
00:18:56,613 --> 00:18:59,094
I saw you strip down
to a lime green thong
418
00:18:59,094 --> 00:19:01,357
and throat-punch a
biker in pervert's row.
419
00:19:01,357 --> 00:19:02,837
- I did?
- Oh yeah, you did.
420
00:19:02,837 --> 00:19:04,317
And it was awesome.
421
00:19:04,317 --> 00:19:07,015
You were unstoppable.
And what now?
422
00:19:07,015 --> 00:19:09,017
Flop sweats and shakes?
423
00:19:09,017 --> 00:19:11,106
They tell me alcoholism
is a disease...
424
00:19:11,106 --> 00:19:13,717
Only symptom I've seen
is the vagina you've grown.
425
00:19:13,717 --> 00:19:15,328
What?
No, I -
426
00:19:15,328 --> 00:19:16,894
Oh, you're speaking metaphorically.
427
00:19:16,894 --> 00:19:18,505
You hear all those
people out there?
428
00:19:18,505 --> 00:19:19,941
Rioting in the streets?
429
00:19:21,986 --> 00:19:24,119
You know why?
430
00:19:24,119 --> 00:19:27,557
Because they're in pain.
Pain that you caused.
431
00:19:27,557 --> 00:19:29,864
Oh my God.
What have I done?
432
00:19:29,864 --> 00:19:32,083
You want to make
it up to them? To me?
433
00:19:32,083 --> 00:19:33,433
Axe prohibition.
434
00:19:33,433 --> 00:19:35,130
Everyone will
forgive and forget.
435
00:19:35,130 --> 00:19:36,479
Don't listen to him.
436
00:19:36,479 --> 00:19:38,220
He doesn't know anything
about forgiveness.
437
00:19:38,220 --> 00:19:39,787
He's right.
438
00:19:39,787 --> 00:19:41,223
You can't trust anything Fitz
has to say on this issue.
439
00:19:41,223 --> 00:19:43,791
You're right.
I can't.
440
00:19:43,791 --> 00:19:45,096
Why not?
441
00:19:45,096 --> 00:19:46,881
He isn't here for the
good of the people.
442
00:19:46,881 --> 00:19:48,622
Richard only wants
to repeal prohibition
443
00:19:48,622 --> 00:19:49,927
so he can
open his lounge.
444
00:19:49,927 --> 00:19:51,277
It's a clear
conflict of interest,
445
00:19:51,277 --> 00:19:54,541
and it's selfish and
manipulative and mean.
446
00:19:54,541 --> 00:19:55,672
Don't listen to
these schmucks.
447
00:19:55,672 --> 00:19:58,240
You make up your own mind...
448
00:19:58,240 --> 00:19:59,937
...and do what I say.
449
00:19:59,937 --> 00:20:01,243
Totally.
450
00:20:01,243 --> 00:20:04,072
Well... I can see
that both of you
451
00:20:04,072 --> 00:20:07,467
present really, really,
compelling arguments...
452
00:20:07,467 --> 00:20:10,383
Take both of those
arguments to council...
453
00:20:10,383 --> 00:20:12,472
You!
454
00:20:12,472 --> 00:20:15,126
Get your ass to
council chambers.
455
00:20:15,126 --> 00:20:16,650
We gotta get this town
drinking again!
456
00:20:23,526 --> 00:20:26,268
God, do I miss that smell.
457
00:20:26,268 --> 00:20:27,574
Me too.
458
00:20:27,574 --> 00:20:28,879
Ah!
459
00:20:28,879 --> 00:20:30,316
What the hell are you doing?
460
00:20:30,316 --> 00:20:31,969
Well, don't make your
hair smell like daisies
461
00:20:31,969 --> 00:20:33,754
if you don't want
people to smell it.
462
00:20:33,754 --> 00:20:36,887
I mean in my apartment, Chester.
463
00:20:36,887 --> 00:20:39,629
You left your bedroom
window unlocked.
464
00:20:39,629 --> 00:20:42,545
I wanted to make sure you knew
before someone broke in.
465
00:20:42,545 --> 00:20:46,288
Chester, you have got
to leave me alone.
466
00:20:46,288 --> 00:20:50,074
And that includes singing
Coldplay on my voice mail.
467
00:20:50,074 --> 00:20:52,207
But I brought the
renovation plans.
468
00:20:52,207 --> 00:20:54,470
This doesn't mean we can't
still start a home practice.
469
00:20:54,470 --> 00:20:56,167
Can't you just see it?
470
00:20:56,167 --> 00:20:58,474
You and me
working side by side?
471
00:20:58,474 --> 00:21:01,042
Baby Chester
frolicking at our feet?
472
00:21:01,042 --> 00:21:05,307
Chester,
our relationship is over.
473
00:21:05,307 --> 00:21:06,961
I will not renege
474
00:21:06,961 --> 00:21:08,963
on the promise my spermatozoa
made to your ovum.
475
00:21:08,963 --> 00:21:11,922
My pregnant wife
will not leave me
476
00:21:11,922 --> 00:21:13,576
for some booze swiller.
477
00:21:14,969 --> 00:21:16,840
People change.
478
00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:18,494
Fitz cares about me.
479
00:21:18,494 --> 00:21:20,540
He cares about us.
480
00:21:20,540 --> 00:21:22,629
Fitz cares about
one thing.
481
00:21:22,629 --> 00:21:24,544
I see the way
he looks at you.
482
00:21:24,544 --> 00:21:27,503
All he wants is for that
baby to be out of your belly.
483
00:21:27,503 --> 00:21:28,896
So you and he can...
484
00:21:33,117 --> 00:21:35,729
You had a threesome
with my baby?
485
00:21:35,729 --> 00:21:39,298
Chester...
486
00:21:39,298 --> 00:21:41,952
About the baby...
487
00:21:41,952 --> 00:21:44,259
Ahh!
Die! Die!
488
00:21:44,259 --> 00:21:45,608
Why won't you die?
489
00:21:45,608 --> 00:21:47,523
How dare you
impregnate my wife!
490
00:21:47,523 --> 00:21:50,874
Hey! Hey!
I just had sex with her.
491
00:21:50,874 --> 00:21:52,833
She did the rest.
492
00:21:52,833 --> 00:21:54,138
Don't listen to him.
493
00:21:54,138 --> 00:21:57,098
He will twist your mind,
steal your family
494
00:21:57,098 --> 00:22:00,144
and rub your tender heart
against a cheese grater.
495
00:22:00,144 --> 00:22:02,364
Get him out of here!
This is a closed session!
496
00:22:02,364 --> 00:22:04,366
You see?
You see?
497
00:22:04,366 --> 00:22:07,804
This isn't about prohibition.
Or what's good for this town.
498
00:22:07,804 --> 00:22:09,502
These L.O.S.E.R. assholes
are out to get me.
499
00:22:09,502 --> 00:22:11,373
They're here because
they hate me.
500
00:22:11,373 --> 00:22:12,243
I don't hate you.
501
00:22:12,243 --> 00:22:14,202
Of course you do.
502
00:22:14,202 --> 00:22:15,725
No Richard.
503
00:22:15,725 --> 00:22:17,771
Hate didn't bring
me here today.
504
00:22:20,164 --> 00:22:21,514
Hope did.
505
00:22:21,514 --> 00:22:23,080
Oh cool.
506
00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:24,995
Like the black guy named
after that terrorist.
507
00:22:24,995 --> 00:22:27,084
All his ideas
seemed to work out.
508
00:22:27,084 --> 00:22:28,347
Go ahead.
509
00:22:28,347 --> 00:22:30,174
I'm here because I believe,
510
00:22:30,174 --> 00:22:33,308
deep down, people are good.
511
00:22:33,308 --> 00:22:37,007
But it can be difficult to
bring that goodness out of them.
512
00:22:37,007 --> 00:22:41,272
Sometimes you have to
force them to see it.
513
00:22:41,272 --> 00:22:44,624
Am I the only guy who thinks
that sounds kinda rapey?
514
00:22:44,624 --> 00:22:48,323
Mr. Mayor, I applaud you.
515
00:22:48,323 --> 00:22:53,850
I think you are a man
of action, integrity and...
516
00:22:53,850 --> 00:22:55,635
...intestinal fortitude.
517
00:22:55,635 --> 00:22:57,811
I think I am, too.
518
00:22:57,811 --> 00:22:58,942
He's bullshitting
you, Andrews.
519
00:22:58,942 --> 00:23:00,727
Don't fall for his
touchy feely crap.
520
00:23:00,727 --> 00:23:03,860
Mayor, you have the
power to convince people
521
00:23:03,860 --> 00:23:06,863
to do what's right, no
matter how hard that may be.
522
00:23:06,863 --> 00:23:10,606
It's time to give the people
of Coverton what they need.
523
00:23:10,606 --> 00:23:13,217
Some tough love.
524
00:23:13,217 --> 00:23:15,394
Yeah...
525
00:23:15,394 --> 00:23:16,830
Yeah!
526
00:23:16,830 --> 00:23:18,875
I'm gonna love the
shit out of this town
527
00:23:18,875 --> 00:23:21,269
whether they like it or not.
528
00:23:21,269 --> 00:23:24,054
I motion to declare
a state of emergency.
529
00:23:24,054 --> 00:23:26,230
Expand police powers.
530
00:23:26,230 --> 00:23:28,885
Redouble our efforts to make
sure prohibition sticks.
531
00:23:28,885 --> 00:23:30,713
- Second!
- What the fuck?
532
00:23:30,713 --> 00:23:33,455
All those for?
533
00:23:33,455 --> 00:23:35,065
So carried.
534
00:23:40,244 --> 00:23:42,508
See Fitz?
I've got balls.
535
00:24:01,527 --> 00:24:03,920
You happy now, Larry?
536
00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:06,619
Destroyed my dream
and my life.
537
00:24:06,619 --> 00:24:09,404
No Richard, you did.
538
00:24:09,404 --> 00:24:11,450
With your selfishness.
539
00:24:11,450 --> 00:24:14,365
That's a shit apology.
540
00:24:14,365 --> 00:24:17,586
By the way, I don't accept,
cock pocket.
541
00:24:17,586 --> 00:24:19,762
All these years,
542
00:24:19,762 --> 00:24:21,721
I've fought
everything you are
543
00:24:21,721 --> 00:24:24,071
in a vain attempt
to make you change.
544
00:24:24,071 --> 00:24:26,116
Doing the same thing and
expecting different results -
545
00:24:26,116 --> 00:24:27,857
That's insanity.
546
00:24:27,857 --> 00:24:32,862
No, insanity is some prostate
milking assbandit
547
00:24:32,862 --> 00:24:34,734
showing up in a bunny suit
548
00:24:34,734 --> 00:24:36,518
claiming to be my conscience.
549
00:24:36,518 --> 00:24:39,260
You're the one
who betrayed me.
550
00:24:39,260 --> 00:24:42,350
And aided in the debauchery
of an innocent girl.
551
00:24:42,350 --> 00:24:43,351
Innocent?
552
00:24:43,351 --> 00:24:45,396
You only met Iris
553
00:24:45,396 --> 00:24:47,050
because I hired her
to keep you company.
554
00:24:49,749 --> 00:24:51,185
You did?
555
00:24:51,185 --> 00:24:52,534
Thanks for not closing
the deal.
556
00:24:52,534 --> 00:24:54,101
Saved me a bundle.
557
00:24:56,669 --> 00:24:59,628
Richard...
Do you know what this means?
558
00:24:59,628 --> 00:25:01,587
You care about me.
559
00:25:01,587 --> 00:25:03,371
Really and truly.
560
00:25:03,371 --> 00:25:04,720
I only did it to
distract your dumb ass
561
00:25:04,720 --> 00:25:06,722
from fucking up my campaign.
562
00:25:06,722 --> 00:25:08,463
No, Richard,
hiring Iris.
563
00:25:08,463 --> 00:25:10,770
That was... nice.
564
00:25:10,770 --> 00:25:12,554
Consider it
a parting gift.
565
00:25:12,554 --> 00:25:15,339
You can't leave now.
We're finally making progress.
566
00:25:15,339 --> 00:25:17,385
I never wanted you in my
fucking life in the first place!
567
00:25:17,385 --> 00:25:18,647
I don't need a
fucking conscience!
568
00:25:18,647 --> 00:25:19,735
And I never will!
569
00:25:33,314 --> 00:25:36,273
Your sobriety isn't just
a commitment to yourself,
570
00:25:36,273 --> 00:25:38,145
it's a commitment to others.
571
00:25:38,145 --> 00:25:40,930
In step 9, we'll learn
the value of making ammends
572
00:25:40,930 --> 00:25:43,193
to those we've harmed
with our disease.
573
00:25:43,193 --> 00:25:46,588
Oh, you are right.
You are so right.
574
00:25:46,588 --> 00:25:49,417
Aw, Fitzy,
I have to apologize!
575
00:25:49,417 --> 00:25:51,245
I have to make amends!
576
00:25:51,245 --> 00:25:53,595
I never meant
to hurt you, buddy.
577
00:25:53,595 --> 00:25:55,815
You did so much for me!
578
00:26:03,997 --> 00:26:06,869
Fitzy!
579
00:26:11,570 --> 00:26:14,007
I'll miss you, buddy.
580
00:26:14,007 --> 00:26:17,140
Hey, remember that time
we got drunk together?
581
00:26:17,140 --> 00:26:19,621
Sure you do.
582
00:26:28,630 --> 00:26:31,981
Fitz, I've made up my mind.
583
00:26:31,981 --> 00:26:34,288
I'm going back to work
584
00:26:34,288 --> 00:26:35,855
and it does not
make me a bad mother
585
00:26:35,855 --> 00:26:39,249
no matter what anyone says -
including my mother.
586
00:26:39,249 --> 00:26:41,295
Your mother is dead.
587
00:26:41,295 --> 00:26:44,211
Exactly. Just hours after declaring
a state of emergency,
588
00:26:44,211 --> 00:26:48,084
And being unhappy would
make me dead too - inside. Mayor Andrews suffered what
police have described as
589
00:26:48,084 --> 00:26:49,912
a 'sober Driving accident.'
590
00:26:49,912 --> 00:26:52,480
Hell yeah.
591
00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:54,656
With the mayor's life
hanging by a thread,
592
00:26:54,656 --> 00:26:59,748
governance of Coverton falls
to his Deputy Mayor...
593
00:26:59,748 --> 00:27:02,664
...Richard Fitzpatrick.
594
00:27:02,664 --> 00:27:04,971
Ring a ding ding. God help us all.
595
00:27:04,971 --> 00:27:07,364
This is Melody Gray
reporting live
596
00:27:07,364 --> 00:27:10,150
from the scene
of the accident.
597
00:27:10,150 --> 00:27:11,499
Pray for Mayor Andrews.
598
00:27:11,499 --> 00:27:13,153
Ring a ding ding.
41727
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