Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:18,540 --> 00:00:20,411
Hey, pay attention, fuckers...
2
00:00:20,411 --> 00:00:23,893
I need you to cancel that
thing today, the debate.
3
00:00:23,893 --> 00:00:25,329
Why?
4
00:00:25,329 --> 00:00:27,114
Because my sister's dead.
5
00:00:27,114 --> 00:00:28,506
Hey, why aren't you drinking?
6
00:00:28,506 --> 00:00:29,551
Son of a bitch,
what's in this?
7
00:00:31,379 --> 00:00:32,728
Fuckers...
8
00:00:32,728 --> 00:00:35,209
No angle;
a proposal.
9
00:00:35,209 --> 00:00:38,473
What's the one thing you and
I were always good at together?
10
00:00:39,952 --> 00:00:41,954
Ha!
A new dealership?
11
00:00:41,954 --> 00:00:44,479
You're going to win it for me.
12
00:00:44,479 --> 00:00:46,002
It's my new long-term plan.
13
00:00:46,002 --> 00:00:48,352
Relax Foxley, I got this!
14
00:00:48,352 --> 00:00:51,094
A campaign that has
zero focus, no platform,
15
00:00:51,094 --> 00:00:52,748
and not a single
female supporter?
16
00:00:52,748 --> 00:00:54,358
This is serious, Fitz!
17
00:00:54,358 --> 00:00:56,752
Chester, I'm leaving you!
18
00:00:56,752 --> 00:00:58,493
Motherfucker!
19
00:00:58,493 --> 00:01:02,062
You faked your sister's
death to get votes?
20
00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:05,326
What do you have to say for
yourself, Mr. Fitzpatrick?
21
00:01:05,326 --> 00:01:06,588
My sister's alive!
22
00:01:06,588 --> 00:01:08,590
It's a miracle!
23
00:01:11,767 --> 00:01:14,291
Oh, God...
Oh God...
24
00:01:14,291 --> 00:01:15,945
You wanna know what I believe?
25
00:01:15,945 --> 00:01:18,121
Chumps wait for miracles.
26
00:01:18,121 --> 00:01:19,557
Fitzpatricks get
what they want
27
00:01:19,557 --> 00:01:22,212
by following the
ten commandments...
28
00:01:22,212 --> 00:01:25,563
There will be no
other gods before me.
29
00:01:25,563 --> 00:01:27,217
Obviously.
30
00:01:27,217 --> 00:01:29,219
Never take the
Lord's name in vain.
31
00:01:29,219 --> 00:01:30,960
Unless it's justified.
32
00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:32,353
Jesus Christ,
sweet mother of fuck.
33
00:01:32,353 --> 00:01:34,398
Where's my lighter, Larry!
34
00:01:34,398 --> 00:01:36,574
Don't worship false idols.
35
00:01:36,574 --> 00:01:38,141
Unless you're out
of single malt.
36
00:01:38,141 --> 00:01:39,708
God, I hate blended.
37
00:01:42,841 --> 00:01:44,626
Observe the Lord's Day.
38
00:01:44,626 --> 00:01:46,149
Fuck me, Fitz.
39
00:01:46,149 --> 00:01:48,847
Oh, I observed it alright.
40
00:01:48,847 --> 00:01:52,112
Honor thy father.
41
00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:55,289
Don't kill-- intentionally.
42
00:01:55,289 --> 00:01:57,291
Then there's the one thing
that no one gives a shit about
43
00:01:57,291 --> 00:01:59,162
so, who cares.
44
00:01:59,162 --> 00:02:01,164
Then there's the
adultery thing-
45
00:02:01,164 --> 00:02:04,124
Get him! The stealing thing...
46
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:06,909
And, finally, my favorite
commandment of all...
47
00:02:06,909 --> 00:02:08,606
Covet thy neighbour.
48
00:02:08,606 --> 00:02:10,086
She's actually the
neighbour's daughter.
49
00:02:10,086 --> 00:02:12,044
But who's counting?
50
00:02:12,044 --> 00:02:14,395
Because when you
live life right,
51
00:02:14,395 --> 00:02:16,788
good things just happen...
52
00:02:22,185 --> 00:02:24,535
Amen.
53
00:03:17,501 --> 00:03:21,375
'Ooo, we are Fitzpatricks
and we rise from the dead.'
54
00:03:21,375 --> 00:03:23,464
There has not been
one customer all day
55
00:03:23,464 --> 00:03:25,292
because of their
blasphemy, Cousin.
56
00:03:25,292 --> 00:03:27,598
Yes, the devil
Father Fitzpatrick
57
00:03:27,598 --> 00:03:29,644
has found a most
ingenious way
58
00:03:29,644 --> 00:03:31,428
out of our
sales contract -
59
00:03:31,428 --> 00:03:33,996
starting his own religion.
60
00:03:33,996 --> 00:03:37,478
And giving away free cars
with every $5000 "donation".
61
00:03:37,478 --> 00:03:39,262
I say bah!
62
00:03:39,262 --> 00:03:40,524
We shall overcome,
63
00:03:40,524 --> 00:03:42,047
for we are Ruptal.
64
00:03:42,047 --> 00:03:43,919
When has religion ever
stopped us before?
65
00:03:43,919 --> 00:03:46,269
When the authorities put
you on their no-fly list.
66
00:03:46,269 --> 00:03:47,879
It is preposterous of them
67
00:03:47,879 --> 00:03:49,446
to think I could
hijack a plane
68
00:03:49,446 --> 00:03:51,318
with a pair of nose
hair clippers...
69
00:03:51,318 --> 00:03:53,015
Nose hair clippers!
70
00:04:05,157 --> 00:04:06,550
Go find out what's going on.
71
00:04:06,550 --> 00:04:07,899
No.
72
00:04:07,899 --> 00:04:09,727
I'll be at the DUI-
Did you just say no?
73
00:04:09,727 --> 00:04:11,163
- I did.
- Why the fuck not?
74
00:04:11,163 --> 00:04:12,904
Because the
election is imminent
75
00:04:12,904 --> 00:04:14,819
and we need to focus
on shoring up votes.
76
00:04:14,819 --> 00:04:16,343
That means hand shaking.
Baby kissing.
77
00:04:16,343 --> 00:04:17,953
Last minute campaigning.
78
00:04:17,953 --> 00:04:19,259
Who gives a shit
what you think?
79
00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:21,173
I have faith in me and
that's all that matters.
80
00:04:21,173 --> 00:04:23,175
Well, it's a good
thing you have faith,
81
00:04:23,175 --> 00:04:24,133
because it's going
to take a miracle
82
00:04:24,133 --> 00:04:25,439
for you to win this election.
83
00:04:25,439 --> 00:04:27,136
I refer to my first response:
84
00:04:27,136 --> 00:04:28,398
who gives a shit
what you think.
85
00:04:28,398 --> 00:04:30,270
The election is in the bag.
86
00:04:38,234 --> 00:04:39,670
Iris?
87
00:04:42,325 --> 00:04:43,761
NEXT!
88
00:04:43,761 --> 00:04:45,807
C'mon, get out of here.
89
00:04:45,807 --> 00:04:47,983
All right,
c'mon, c'mon...
90
00:04:51,943 --> 00:04:54,076
- What's up?
- It's my hip.
91
00:05:02,824 --> 00:05:04,304
You are healed.
92
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:05,783
You didn't even touch me.
93
00:05:05,783 --> 00:05:07,263
I said you're healed.
94
00:05:07,263 --> 00:05:08,308
Now go get your car. Pervert.
95
00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:09,918
Out!
96
00:05:09,918 --> 00:05:11,180
She's the mother
fucking messiah!
97
00:05:11,180 --> 00:05:12,616
Do what she says!
98
00:05:12,616 --> 00:05:13,965
Yeah.
I'm the Messiah.
99
00:05:13,965 --> 00:05:15,227
Right, Mommy?
100
00:05:15,227 --> 00:05:16,533
And we're on
a tight fucking schedule!
101
00:05:16,533 --> 00:05:19,710
- Let's go!
- NEXT!
102
00:05:19,710 --> 00:05:22,104
All right, sweet cheeks,
what's up?
103
00:05:26,369 --> 00:05:28,110
Iris?
104
00:05:28,110 --> 00:05:30,765
Hi...
105
00:05:30,765 --> 00:05:32,419
How did you find me?
106
00:05:32,419 --> 00:05:33,681
Actually...
107
00:05:33,681 --> 00:05:35,987
I'm here for the miracle.
108
00:05:35,987 --> 00:05:37,380
It seemed too good to be true
109
00:05:37,380 --> 00:05:39,251
but I had to see for myself.
110
00:05:39,251 --> 00:05:41,341
It is a miracle, Iris...
111
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,865
Us running into each
other like this.
112
00:05:43,865 --> 00:05:46,041
I could escort you
to the tent, if you want.
113
00:05:46,041 --> 00:05:49,261
And then...
114
00:05:49,261 --> 00:05:52,743
...maybe we can go
for ice cream.
115
00:05:52,743 --> 00:05:56,617
You and me?
Like, a date?
116
00:05:56,617 --> 00:06:00,142
Oh, you don't need
to call it that.
117
00:06:00,142 --> 00:06:01,665
Unless you want to.
118
00:06:01,665 --> 00:06:03,014
Which is fine.
Or not.
119
00:06:03,014 --> 00:06:05,974
Is it fine?
120
00:06:05,974 --> 00:06:09,804
Iris, I don't think
it's an accident
121
00:06:09,804 --> 00:06:12,372
you wandered onto this lot.
122
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:16,201
All these weeks, you
and me and the specter
123
00:06:16,201 --> 00:06:19,291
of the deceased creatures
who we both once loved.
124
00:06:19,291 --> 00:06:23,687
It's fate, Iris.
125
00:06:23,687 --> 00:06:27,822
Our very own miracle!
126
00:06:27,822 --> 00:06:30,302
No, Larry.
It isn't.
127
00:06:30,302 --> 00:06:32,130
It isn't that at all.
128
00:06:42,619 --> 00:06:45,448
♪ Money, money, money
129
00:06:45,448 --> 00:06:46,841
Tax free profit.
130
00:06:46,841 --> 00:06:48,277
Hallefuckinglujah.
131
00:06:48,277 --> 00:06:50,540
We always were great
business partners, Lainey.
132
00:06:50,540 --> 00:06:51,802
Shitty parents.
133
00:06:51,802 --> 00:06:53,369
Nightmare marriage.
134
00:06:53,369 --> 00:06:56,416
But goddamn geniuses when
it came to pushing tin.
135
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:57,895
I am the messiah!
136
00:06:57,895 --> 00:06:59,506
Is it too much to
ask for a soda
137
00:06:59,506 --> 00:07:00,942
and a clean goddamn
dressing room?!
138
00:07:00,942 --> 00:07:02,639
We have to get the little
douchebag under control.
139
00:07:02,639 --> 00:07:04,554
Jesus freaks like
their shit clean.
140
00:07:06,121 --> 00:07:07,601
A church?
141
00:07:07,601 --> 00:07:09,777
You fucking
kidding me?
142
00:07:09,777 --> 00:07:11,431
What's he doing here?
143
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:12,823
A freak show
I could understand.
144
00:07:12,823 --> 00:07:14,303
"Come see the bearded lady."
145
00:07:14,303 --> 00:07:16,566
I told you I had electrolysis!
Now fuck off!
146
00:07:16,566 --> 00:07:18,002
This is my miracle!
147
00:07:18,002 --> 00:07:20,962
Daddy!
I want him out of here now!
148
00:07:20,962 --> 00:07:22,659
These suckers wouldn't be
here if it wasn't for me.
149
00:07:25,488 --> 00:07:27,751
It was my idea to kill
her in the first place!
150
00:07:27,751 --> 00:07:29,231
You'll all be fucking sorry
151
00:07:29,231 --> 00:07:31,363
when I win the election and
shut this shit show down!
152
00:07:31,363 --> 00:07:33,801
Better start praying
for a miracle, Fucker.
153
00:07:33,801 --> 00:07:36,456
Because I'm telling everyone
to vote for Chester Vince!
154
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:37,935
Before or after you shave?
155
00:07:37,935 --> 00:07:39,328
Hey, watch the suit!
156
00:07:39,328 --> 00:07:40,677
You need a time out, Mister.
157
00:07:40,677 --> 00:07:42,505
Me? She started it!
158
00:07:42,505 --> 00:07:44,333
She's always ruining my shit!
159
00:07:44,333 --> 00:07:45,508
Breaking my toys!
160
00:07:45,508 --> 00:07:46,596
Now my campaign!
161
00:07:46,596 --> 00:07:48,206
Hit the bricks!
162
00:07:48,206 --> 00:07:49,860
And you can tell those curry
packers across the road
163
00:07:49,860 --> 00:07:51,993
Ken Fitzpatrick is back.
164
00:07:51,993 --> 00:07:53,864
And Elaine Fitzpatrick.
165
00:07:53,864 --> 00:07:54,996
Yeah, her too.
166
00:07:56,737 --> 00:07:58,652
Fuck you-- all of you!
167
00:07:58,652 --> 00:08:00,044
Bye-bye,
Richard!
168
00:08:01,219 --> 00:08:02,873
Divide and conquer.
169
00:08:02,873 --> 00:08:05,006
I deal with Joan of Bark here.
170
00:08:05,006 --> 00:08:07,095
You make sure numb-nuts
doesn't fuck up my scam.
171
00:08:07,095 --> 00:08:08,792
Our scam.
172
00:08:08,792 --> 00:08:10,141
That's what I said.
173
00:08:14,189 --> 00:08:18,280
Eat my scraps,
asshole!
174
00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:20,195
I need more fucking ketchup!
175
00:08:20,195 --> 00:08:22,153
Squirt bottle!
176
00:08:22,153 --> 00:08:23,851
Out of the trough, Legs.
177
00:08:23,851 --> 00:08:26,027
We need to shore up votes.
And fast.
178
00:08:26,027 --> 00:08:28,159
Oh, look who's decided
to wake up and give shit.
179
00:08:28,159 --> 00:08:29,596
After last week's
little debacle,
180
00:08:29,596 --> 00:08:30,901
you still think
we have a shot?
181
00:08:30,901 --> 00:08:32,512
I don't need a shot.
I'm the fucking pistol.
182
00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:33,904
Now move!
183
00:08:33,904 --> 00:08:35,558
Don't talk to me like
I'm one of your minions.
184
00:08:35,558 --> 00:08:36,864
I busted my ass
for this campaign
185
00:08:36,864 --> 00:08:38,518
and look what it got me.
186
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:40,650
Fine.
Put the wings on my tab.
187
00:08:40,650 --> 00:08:42,130
Fuck you.
188
00:08:42,130 --> 00:08:44,480
I am responsible for
my own failed career,
189
00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:48,397
my bad choice of business
partner, my stress eating.
190
00:08:48,397 --> 00:08:49,441
Wow.
191
00:08:49,441 --> 00:08:52,096
Melody Gray was
right about you.
192
00:08:52,096 --> 00:08:54,142
What did she say?
193
00:08:54,142 --> 00:08:56,405
You tell me, Cankles.
194
00:08:56,405 --> 00:08:58,015
I was big boned
195
00:08:58,015 --> 00:09:00,148
and I had a note to get
out of that fitness test.
196
00:09:00,148 --> 00:09:01,715
I am not a quitter.
197
00:09:05,153 --> 00:09:06,328
Fine.
198
00:09:06,328 --> 00:09:08,286
But I'm doing this for me.
199
00:09:08,286 --> 00:09:09,592
Not you.
200
00:09:09,592 --> 00:09:11,072
Me.
201
00:09:13,988 --> 00:09:15,555
Any day now.
202
00:09:27,697 --> 00:09:29,699
Scotch.
203
00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:33,007
Vodka.
204
00:09:33,007 --> 00:09:34,617
Better make it a triple,
Old Lady,
205
00:09:34,617 --> 00:09:36,619
because after I get through
with you and Molly Mormon,
206
00:09:36,619 --> 00:09:38,360
you're gonna need it.
207
00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:40,449
You always were a poor loser.
208
00:09:40,449 --> 00:09:41,755
Says the woman who rigged
'pin the tail on the donkey'
209
00:09:41,755 --> 00:09:43,104
at my birthday party
210
00:09:43,104 --> 00:09:45,019
so she could fuck
the winner's old man.
211
00:09:45,019 --> 00:09:47,108
I should be thanking
you, actually.
212
00:09:47,108 --> 00:09:49,110
You and your sister are
finally paying off.
213
00:09:49,110 --> 00:09:51,591
The only reason we had
you shit dispensers
214
00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,288
was so we could make money.
215
00:09:53,288 --> 00:09:55,812
You mean that bullshit angle
Ken's playing?
216
00:09:55,812 --> 00:09:57,640
That's short term.
217
00:09:57,640 --> 00:09:59,642
I get into office,
you can make some real coin.
218
00:09:59,642 --> 00:10:01,644
You really think
you're going to win.
219
00:10:01,644 --> 00:10:03,428
Better fucking believe it.
220
00:10:03,428 --> 00:10:04,995
Know what I believe?
221
00:10:04,995 --> 00:10:07,345
You don't have a shot in hell.
222
00:10:07,345 --> 00:10:10,261
Ken's going to fuck you over
just like he always does.
223
00:10:12,916 --> 00:10:16,572
You can't con a conner, Kid.
224
00:10:16,572 --> 00:10:19,531
Just stay out of our way.
225
00:10:26,495 --> 00:10:28,758
You're gonna vote
for me, right, Charlie?
226
00:10:28,758 --> 00:10:30,281
You gonna find another
place to drink?
227
00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:38,507
Vote for Fitz!
228
00:11:18,503 --> 00:11:22,246
Stop it.
He's not even worth it.
229
00:11:27,382 --> 00:11:28,992
She loves me not.
230
00:11:30,820 --> 00:11:32,343
She loves me not.
231
00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:34,998
She still loves me not.
232
00:11:36,783 --> 00:11:38,088
Oh, fuck.
233
00:11:38,088 --> 00:11:39,611
Don't you have
somewhere else to be?
234
00:11:39,611 --> 00:11:42,614
I am upset.
235
00:11:42,614 --> 00:11:44,529
And you should eat
something first.
236
00:11:44,529 --> 00:11:46,488
You'll need your strength
for what lies ahead.
237
00:11:46,488 --> 00:11:48,229
Women looking for miracles,
238
00:11:48,229 --> 00:11:51,493
and men unable to give them.
239
00:11:51,493 --> 00:11:53,451
When will you learn, Larry.
240
00:11:53,451 --> 00:11:54,888
Pussies don't get pussy.
241
00:11:54,888 --> 00:11:56,846
Love is a
battlefield, Richard.
242
00:11:56,846 --> 00:11:59,153
And this soldier
has lost the war.
243
00:11:59,153 --> 00:12:00,328
Nu uh.
244
00:12:00,328 --> 00:12:02,809
The battle is over
when I say it's over.
245
00:12:02,809 --> 00:12:06,638
You really think I have
a chance with Iris?
246
00:12:06,638 --> 00:12:08,423
Fuck Iris.
247
00:12:08,423 --> 00:12:11,034
I prefer the term
"go for ice cream".
248
00:12:12,819 --> 00:12:15,647
That's it...
249
00:12:15,647 --> 00:12:17,693
Steal support...
250
00:12:17,693 --> 00:12:19,173
Win votes...
251
00:12:19,173 --> 00:12:20,435
Blow shit up...
252
00:12:20,435 --> 00:12:22,002
I never said any of that.
253
00:12:22,002 --> 00:12:24,134
Then I'll say it
for you, Rumpcrunch.
254
00:12:24,134 --> 00:12:27,224
Two words-- mother
fucking holy war.
255
00:12:27,224 --> 00:12:28,617
That's four words.
256
00:12:28,617 --> 00:12:30,793
Yeah.
It worked in Iraq.
257
00:12:30,793 --> 00:12:32,099
It worked in Afghanistan.
258
00:12:32,099 --> 00:12:34,666
And tomorrow,
it's gonna work for me.
259
00:12:43,893 --> 00:12:45,982
Get your jihadist
asses out here!
260
00:12:45,982 --> 00:12:47,462
Who is dead now?
261
00:12:47,462 --> 00:12:48,985
Or perhaps you
wish to subject us
262
00:12:48,985 --> 00:12:50,770
to more racial stereotypes.
263
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:52,989
What the fuck, Josh?
No.
264
00:12:52,989 --> 00:12:54,861
I just need you to help me
blow up a church.
265
00:12:54,861 --> 00:12:56,688
Wicked.
On it, Buddy.
266
00:12:56,688 --> 00:12:57,994
What about our holy oath
267
00:12:57,994 --> 00:12:59,387
to not help him with
his plans anymore?
268
00:12:59,387 --> 00:13:00,649
Oh right.
269
00:13:00,649 --> 00:13:01,955
Solidarity, Cousin.
270
00:13:01,955 --> 00:13:03,173
You are no cousin of mine.
271
00:13:03,173 --> 00:13:04,522
Look, you don't like me,
272
00:13:04,522 --> 00:13:06,046
and I sure as hell
don't like you.
273
00:13:06,046 --> 00:13:07,395
But there's a bigger
threat out there.
274
00:13:07,395 --> 00:13:09,092
Godzilla.
275
00:13:09,092 --> 00:13:12,269
No, my family is carpet bombing
your customers and my voters.
276
00:13:12,269 --> 00:13:13,836
We've got to take them down.
277
00:13:13,836 --> 00:13:16,317
Two birds.
One bomb.
278
00:13:16,317 --> 00:13:18,058
Sales have declined.
279
00:13:18,058 --> 00:13:19,799
Joining forces with
our mortal enemy
280
00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:22,105
may be the solution we need.
281
00:13:22,105 --> 00:13:24,020
This is the Soviets
all over again...
282
00:13:25,717 --> 00:13:27,415
I am not going on that stage
283
00:13:27,415 --> 00:13:30,505
until I get a new pillow, lip
balm, and my theater tickets.
284
00:13:30,505 --> 00:13:33,421
And by the way, why are there
no towels in my change room?
285
00:13:33,421 --> 00:13:36,685
I can't work under
these conditions...
286
00:13:36,685 --> 00:13:38,252
What a fucking prima donna.
287
00:13:38,252 --> 00:13:39,644
She gets that from you!
288
00:13:39,644 --> 00:13:42,082
Divide and conquer, dipshit.
289
00:13:42,082 --> 00:13:44,171
What the fuck have you
been doing all day?
290
00:13:44,171 --> 00:13:45,781
Do you know how long it
takes to adjust the lighting
291
00:13:45,781 --> 00:13:48,610
so people don't think she's
the fucking antichrist?
292
00:13:48,610 --> 00:13:50,568
You take care of
the little slut bucket.
293
00:13:50,568 --> 00:13:51,874
Hello?
294
00:13:51,874 --> 00:13:53,833
I'm trying to keep cock snot's
295
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:55,747
sticky little fingers
out of our pot.
296
00:13:55,747 --> 00:13:59,099
Complaining about
our demon spawn.
297
00:13:59,099 --> 00:14:01,841
This is so "us".
298
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:02,929
Don't worry
about this shit, Lainey.
299
00:14:02,929 --> 00:14:04,756
This shit will
work itself out.
300
00:14:04,756 --> 00:14:06,628
We're winners, you and me.
301
00:14:06,628 --> 00:14:08,238
And we're back in the green.
302
00:14:08,238 --> 00:14:09,457
And by the way...
303
00:14:09,457 --> 00:14:11,024
Don't get me started
about the audience.
304
00:14:11,024 --> 00:14:12,895
Who vets these people?
305
00:14:12,895 --> 00:14:14,375
- Burn, infidel!
- How did all the fatties
end up down front?
306
00:14:18,553 --> 00:14:22,513
What kind of retard forgets
to light a Molotov cocktail?
307
00:14:22,513 --> 00:14:23,906
You idiot!
308
00:14:23,906 --> 00:14:26,039
Where did you go to
terrorist school?
309
00:14:26,039 --> 00:14:27,605
Hey!
He didn't.
310
00:14:27,605 --> 00:14:29,912
I do have a Bachelor
in Fine Arts.
311
00:14:29,912 --> 00:14:32,132
Cut him some slack.
It's his first holy war.
312
00:14:32,132 --> 00:14:34,395
As usual, I've got to
do everything myself.
313
00:14:37,528 --> 00:14:39,095
Come one, come all!
314
00:14:39,095 --> 00:14:40,880
To see the real miracle!
315
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:42,969
Why worship the resurrected,
316
00:14:42,969 --> 00:14:45,362
when you can worship,
and vote for,
317
00:14:45,362 --> 00:14:46,755
the RESURRECTOR!
318
00:14:46,755 --> 00:14:49,410
And get free cars.
319
00:14:49,410 --> 00:14:52,369
For a reasonable
monetary donation.
320
00:14:52,369 --> 00:14:53,805
That snakey fuck.
321
00:14:53,805 --> 00:14:56,156
See the man responsible
322
00:14:56,156 --> 00:14:58,332
for raising the bearded
lady from the dead!
323
00:14:58,332 --> 00:14:59,550
Fuck you!
324
00:14:59,550 --> 00:15:01,422
I do not have a beard!
325
00:15:01,422 --> 00:15:03,119
Yes you do!
326
00:15:03,119 --> 00:15:05,426
Come back and
worship my daughter!
327
00:15:08,081 --> 00:15:09,691
You want to believe
in something?
328
00:15:09,691 --> 00:15:11,911
I'll tell you what
to believe in--
329
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:14,348
Richard Fitzpatrick
for City Council!
330
00:15:14,348 --> 00:15:16,959
No!
331
00:15:16,959 --> 00:15:20,136
There shall be no
other gods except me!
332
00:15:20,136 --> 00:15:21,877
Especially not my
stupid brother!
333
00:15:23,705 --> 00:15:25,663
Come on, you guys!
334
00:15:25,663 --> 00:15:27,056
This is dealing with him?
335
00:15:27,056 --> 00:15:29,667
You always were too
soft on these kids.
336
00:15:29,667 --> 00:15:32,888
Don't worry, hot stuff -
I got this.
337
00:15:39,373 --> 00:15:40,983
You!
338
00:15:40,983 --> 00:15:43,594
No, dear god. No.
339
00:15:43,594 --> 00:15:46,293
Please just make it quick.
340
00:15:46,293 --> 00:15:47,598
Relax.
341
00:15:47,598 --> 00:15:49,383
My shithead kid is
messing up my scam
342
00:15:49,383 --> 00:15:50,950
with my other shithead kid.
343
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,299
You're the only one
that can talk sense
344
00:15:52,299 --> 00:15:53,778
into that ass baby.
345
00:15:53,778 --> 00:15:55,737
I want you to go over there
and do it now.
346
00:15:56,868 --> 00:15:58,044
I can't help you.
347
00:15:58,044 --> 00:15:59,219
I can't help anyone.
348
00:15:59,219 --> 00:16:01,264
I can't even help myself.
349
00:16:01,264 --> 00:16:03,310
What's with the pity
party, fuck face?
350
00:16:03,310 --> 00:16:05,312
It's no one.
351
00:16:05,312 --> 00:16:09,925
Just a sweet angel who took my
heart in her delicate fingers,
352
00:16:09,925 --> 00:16:13,146
and then ravaged it like
a Polynesian cannibal.
353
00:16:13,146 --> 00:16:14,582
And I don't even know why.
354
00:16:14,582 --> 00:16:15,757
I'll tell you why.
355
00:16:15,757 --> 00:16:18,673
You're a spineless
yes man to a dirtbag.
356
00:16:18,673 --> 00:16:20,240
What woman wants that?
357
00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:21,763
You're right.
358
00:16:21,763 --> 00:16:24,070
And you know what else?
359
00:16:24,070 --> 00:16:26,376
I killed a bird.
360
00:16:26,376 --> 00:16:28,813
No wonder Iris
finds me repulsive.
361
00:16:28,813 --> 00:16:30,685
Oh.
A dead bird.
362
00:16:30,685 --> 00:16:31,555
That's the reason.
363
00:16:31,555 --> 00:16:32,687
I know.
364
00:16:32,687 --> 00:16:33,949
Look, Nancy--It's Larry.
365
00:16:33,949 --> 00:16:35,559
Look, Nancy, grow a set.
366
00:16:35,559 --> 00:16:37,126
It's time you took a stand.
367
00:16:37,126 --> 00:16:39,650
Call bullshit when it stinks.
368
00:16:39,650 --> 00:16:43,002
Yeah, it's my responsibility
to show the public
369
00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:45,004
that Richard isn't
what he says he is...
370
00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:46,701
that there are no such
things as miracles...
371
00:16:46,701 --> 00:16:48,137
Make it quick, Slim Jim.
372
00:16:48,137 --> 00:16:50,574
I've got a fake
church to salvage.
373
00:16:50,574 --> 00:16:51,880
Good talk.
374
00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:55,536
Vodka.
Make it snappy.
375
00:17:00,193 --> 00:17:02,369
My sister was dead.
376
00:17:02,369 --> 00:17:04,806
And at her grave,
377
00:17:04,806 --> 00:17:08,418
I asked the Lord
to return her.
378
00:17:08,418 --> 00:17:09,985
For she was innocent.
379
00:17:09,985 --> 00:17:15,295
Unstable, yes,
unattractive, yes,
380
00:17:15,295 --> 00:17:17,123
but she was innocent.
381
00:17:17,123 --> 00:17:21,301
And I felt something
surge through me
382
00:17:21,301 --> 00:17:24,391
as I touched my dead sister.
383
00:17:25,783 --> 00:17:29,048
No!
It was the Lord's power.
384
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:32,616
Blessed be Jesus,
zombie maker.
385
00:17:32,616 --> 00:17:34,009
We talked about this.
386
00:17:34,009 --> 00:17:35,358
She's not a zombie.
387
00:17:35,358 --> 00:17:36,968
It was the cannabis.
388
00:17:36,968 --> 00:17:41,321
Praised be to the
blue eyed devil, Fitz!
389
00:17:41,321 --> 00:17:45,107
Anyway, vote Fitz,
and when I'm in office,
390
00:17:45,107 --> 00:17:50,069
I'll resurrect anyone
and anything you desire.
391
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:52,201
Are you sure about that?
392
00:17:52,201 --> 00:17:55,552
Yes, that's why all these
good people are here today.
393
00:17:55,552 --> 00:17:56,988
Am I right?
394
00:17:56,988 --> 00:17:59,165
Then resurrect this--
395
00:17:59,165 --> 00:18:01,123
Titmouse.
396
00:18:01,123 --> 00:18:02,342
That's right!
397
00:18:02,342 --> 00:18:03,995
A dead bird.
398
00:18:03,995 --> 00:18:08,174
Surely no match for
the resurrector.
399
00:18:08,174 --> 00:18:10,306
I'm calling bull...
400
00:18:10,306 --> 00:18:13,788
poop that smells, Mister.
401
00:18:13,788 --> 00:18:15,094
What the fuck are you doing?
402
00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:18,140
Taking a stand and
telling everyone here
403
00:18:18,140 --> 00:18:21,578
that he faked his own
sister's death.
404
00:18:23,885 --> 00:18:26,670
Hey, where you going?
Come back!
405
00:18:26,670 --> 00:18:27,932
What happened, Richard?
406
00:18:27,932 --> 00:18:30,631
What happened to
the Last Honest Man?
407
00:18:30,631 --> 00:18:33,068
Ice cream!
408
00:18:35,418 --> 00:18:36,854
Ice cream!
409
00:18:48,605 --> 00:18:49,998
Problem solved, Baby...
410
00:18:53,219 --> 00:18:55,395
It's not what it looks like.
411
00:18:56,961 --> 00:18:58,528
Fuck, Lainey.
412
00:18:58,528 --> 00:19:00,182
The gay mafia's after me.
413
00:19:00,182 --> 00:19:01,792
I need this cash.
414
00:19:01,792 --> 00:19:04,839
I can't go find some
rich fuck like you.
415
00:19:04,839 --> 00:19:07,798
All I got is my sparkling
personality and this scam.
416
00:19:07,798 --> 00:19:09,757
And me.
417
00:19:09,757 --> 00:19:11,454
I wasn't going to take you.
418
00:19:11,454 --> 00:19:13,804
But I rose from the dead!
419
00:19:13,804 --> 00:19:15,110
You said this was our thing.
420
00:19:15,110 --> 00:19:16,938
You said if I helped
hide this from Mom--
421
00:19:22,422 --> 00:19:24,641
The little shit was
right about you!
422
00:19:30,647 --> 00:19:31,996
Fuck.
423
00:19:33,781 --> 00:19:35,739
Lainey!
424
00:19:42,833 --> 00:19:44,879
Go get me a scotch.
425
00:19:44,879 --> 00:19:45,967
Fuck you.
426
00:19:45,967 --> 00:19:48,187
All of you.
427
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:50,667
From this moment forward,
I am emancipating myself
428
00:19:50,667 --> 00:19:53,583
from this family!
429
00:19:53,583 --> 00:19:55,194
Now that's a fucking miracle.
430
00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:29,402
You think I'm going to roll
over for you, Chester?
431
00:20:29,402 --> 00:20:33,275
You think I don't know that
leadership requires sacrifice?
432
00:20:33,275 --> 00:20:35,059
You think I wouldn't be
able to bury people alive
433
00:20:35,059 --> 00:20:37,192
to ensure the survival
of my country?
434
00:20:37,192 --> 00:20:40,848
I know that sometimes you have
to chop someone's head off!
435
00:20:40,848 --> 00:20:42,284
I'm just as tough as Idi Amin.
436
00:20:42,284 --> 00:20:45,113
I'm just as tough as any
of those motherfuckers!
437
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:07,657
Ow... ow...
438
00:21:17,319 --> 00:21:20,496
It's over for good
this time, Roger.
439
00:21:20,496 --> 00:21:22,193
May I call you Roger?
440
00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:28,243
Iris--
441
00:21:28,243 --> 00:21:29,984
Don't speak.
442
00:21:33,770 --> 00:21:35,685
I'm sorry I ran away before.
443
00:21:35,685 --> 00:21:37,296
Things are complicated.
444
00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:40,081
But so what, right?
445
00:21:40,081 --> 00:21:42,170
Tell that to the titmouse.
446
00:21:44,912 --> 00:21:48,350
I would like to go
for ice cream with you.
447
00:21:48,350 --> 00:21:50,570
So much ice cream.
448
00:21:50,570 --> 00:21:52,093
I would like to go
for ice cream with you
449
00:21:52,093 --> 00:21:53,921
more than you
could ever imagine.
450
00:21:59,318 --> 00:22:03,757
I told Richard
miracles don't happen
451
00:22:03,757 --> 00:22:06,977
but this is a miracle.
452
00:22:08,327 --> 00:22:10,633
Oh, Iris--
453
00:22:10,633 --> 00:22:14,202
There is just one
thing I need to do.
454
00:22:14,202 --> 00:22:16,900
I know, Larry.
455
00:22:16,900 --> 00:22:18,989
Would you just... Thanks.
456
00:22:25,300 --> 00:22:29,435
This is Melody Gray reporting
live outside City Hall.
457
00:22:29,435 --> 00:22:33,830
Exit polls show Chester Vince
with a commanding lead.
458
00:22:33,830 --> 00:22:35,876
No doubt this is in
response to this reporter's
459
00:22:35,876 --> 00:22:38,357
shocking exposé
of local lothario
460
00:22:38,357 --> 00:22:39,967
and rumored polygamist
cult leader,
461
00:22:39,967 --> 00:22:42,404
Richard Fitzpatrick.
462
00:22:42,404 --> 00:22:44,058
The dream is dead, Fitz.
463
00:22:47,191 --> 00:22:49,237
Josh, how many times
do I have to tell you,
464
00:22:49,237 --> 00:22:51,108
a bookstore is not
a strip club.
465
00:22:51,108 --> 00:22:52,762
Larry paid me to
bring you here.
466
00:22:52,762 --> 00:22:54,024
In coffee.
467
00:22:54,024 --> 00:22:55,939
I got nothing to say
to that backstabber.
468
00:22:55,939 --> 00:22:58,464
There are miracles, Richard.
469
00:22:58,464 --> 00:23:00,291
There are.
470
00:23:00,291 --> 00:23:01,292
Iris came back to me.
471
00:23:01,292 --> 00:23:02,946
Good.
472
00:23:02,946 --> 00:23:06,428
That makes up for the shit
storm you turned my life into.
473
00:23:06,428 --> 00:23:07,516
I know you're upset.
474
00:23:07,516 --> 00:23:08,822
And, as your conscience,
475
00:23:08,822 --> 00:23:10,563
I feel you deserve
one last shot.
476
00:23:10,563 --> 00:23:12,913
And I deserve a coffee.
477
00:23:12,913 --> 00:23:14,393
We may be down in the polls. Broke.
478
00:23:14,393 --> 00:23:16,525
And have lost the holy war.
479
00:23:16,525 --> 00:23:18,527
But there is one thing
you have not tried.
480
00:23:18,527 --> 00:23:20,181
The pumpkin scones.
481
00:23:20,181 --> 00:23:22,009
They're amazing.
482
00:23:22,009 --> 00:23:23,793
Prayer.
483
00:23:23,793 --> 00:23:25,273
Fuck off, Larry.
484
00:23:25,273 --> 00:23:27,188
All that faith crap
was just bullshit.
485
00:23:27,188 --> 00:23:28,537
Since you're banned from...
486
00:23:28,537 --> 00:23:29,843
every church in town,
487
00:23:29,843 --> 00:23:31,410
I thought we could try
the theology section.
488
00:23:31,410 --> 00:23:34,978
Still holy and
thirty percent off.
489
00:23:34,978 --> 00:23:37,372
Please Richard,
one little prayer.
490
00:23:37,372 --> 00:23:40,331
How can it hurt?
491
00:23:40,331 --> 00:23:43,422
I'll buy you a coffee.
492
00:23:43,422 --> 00:23:46,686
Fine. Tall half skinny one
percent extra hot split
493
00:23:46,686 --> 00:23:48,818
quad shot half sweet
caramel macchiato.
494
00:23:48,818 --> 00:23:51,647
No whip.
Okay, whip.
495
00:23:51,647 --> 00:23:53,649
- Chocolate sprinkles?
- I'm not gay.
496
00:23:56,870 --> 00:23:58,959
After all, how can
this city be expected
497
00:23:58,959 --> 00:24:01,570
to trust a councillor who
can't even make good
498
00:24:01,570 --> 00:24:04,486
on a promise
to resurrect a dead bird?
499
00:24:04,486 --> 00:24:06,096
And with the polls
about to close,
500
00:24:06,096 --> 00:24:08,055
this reporter is confident
501
00:24:08,055 --> 00:24:10,536
in declaring Chester Vince
the winner.
502
00:24:10,536 --> 00:24:11,972
We'll see about that.
503
00:24:22,199 --> 00:24:24,114
Hey, God.
504
00:24:24,114 --> 00:24:25,551
It's me, Fitz.
505
00:24:25,551 --> 00:24:27,335
I need to speak to Frank.
506
00:24:28,423 --> 00:24:32,166
Uh... hey, Frank.
507
00:24:32,166 --> 00:24:36,387
I don't know if you're
listening, but how you doin'?
508
00:24:36,387 --> 00:24:38,433
Hope that bus crash with
the cheerleaders last week
509
00:24:38,433 --> 00:24:41,654
spiced the party up a bit,
know what I mean?
510
00:24:41,654 --> 00:24:43,873
Fuck, I don't know
what I mean.
511
00:24:46,397 --> 00:24:49,009
Fuck, Frank.
512
00:24:49,009 --> 00:24:52,055
A guy needs a break
once in a while, you know?
513
00:24:52,055 --> 00:24:55,102
Cold streak's gotta end.
514
00:24:55,102 --> 00:24:58,540
I'm a good guy...
515
00:24:58,540 --> 00:25:01,543
Look, here's the thing.
516
00:25:01,543 --> 00:25:03,458
I'm having a kid.
517
00:25:03,458 --> 00:25:05,808
...And I don't want
the little fucker
518
00:25:05,808 --> 00:25:08,855
to think I'm a loser
like my old man.
519
00:25:08,855 --> 00:25:12,554
I got to win this
fucking election.
520
00:25:12,554 --> 00:25:13,816
Throw me a bone,
will ya, Frank?
521
00:25:13,816 --> 00:25:15,252
Fitz?
522
00:25:15,252 --> 00:25:16,950
Oh, and...
523
00:25:16,950 --> 00:25:19,779
If you could you make sure
he's got a decent head of hair.
524
00:25:19,779 --> 00:25:22,259
No tail.
525
00:25:22,259 --> 00:25:23,870
Amen.
526
00:25:35,490 --> 00:25:37,100
Good enough.
527
00:25:40,582 --> 00:25:44,107
This is Melody Gray reporting
live outside City Hall.
528
00:25:44,107 --> 00:25:46,936
And I am getting the
official announcement now...
529
00:25:46,936 --> 00:25:49,025
You've got to be
fucking kidding me.
530
00:25:49,025 --> 00:25:50,679
Richard Fitzpatrick won?
531
00:25:50,679 --> 00:25:53,073
Ha ha!
That's right, Fuckers!
532
00:25:53,073 --> 00:25:54,204
Fitz won!
533
00:25:54,204 --> 00:25:55,858
And I won it for him!
534
00:25:55,858 --> 00:25:57,643
Woo hoo!
535
00:25:57,643 --> 00:26:00,602
Suck it, Coverton!
Suck it hard!
536
00:26:00,602 --> 00:26:02,735
Yeah!
36799
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof