Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:18,192 --> 00:00:20,281
Previously on Call Me Fitz...
2
00:00:20,281 --> 00:00:21,934
Over half of
the city councilors
3
00:00:21,934 --> 00:00:24,633
are members of the
Glen Downs Country Club.
4
00:00:24,633 --> 00:00:25,851
They control local politics.
5
00:00:25,851 --> 00:00:27,418
Fuck!
6
00:00:27,418 --> 00:00:29,812
It'll be good to get some
fresh blood into this place.
7
00:00:29,812 --> 00:00:31,292
I'll see you at
the initiation.
8
00:00:31,292 --> 00:00:33,337
When it's a male sacrifice,
9
00:00:33,337 --> 00:00:36,688
we cut off his johnson
and feast upon it.
10
00:00:36,688 --> 00:00:38,386
Yeah, I'm out.
11
00:00:38,386 --> 00:00:40,866
Melody Gray!
12
00:00:40,866 --> 00:00:42,433
I haven't seen you
13
00:00:42,433 --> 00:00:44,479
since you slept your way
through student council!
14
00:00:44,479 --> 00:00:46,089
I'm an ethical journalist.
15
00:00:46,089 --> 00:00:48,222
I only report the news
I manufacture.
16
00:00:48,222 --> 00:00:50,311
Six months I've been stuck
in this mental hospital,
17
00:00:50,311 --> 00:00:52,574
with no contact
from the outside world.
18
00:00:52,574 --> 00:00:54,097
Only thing you ever had
was your dealership,
19
00:00:54,097 --> 00:00:55,490
and now you got shit.
20
00:00:55,490 --> 00:00:56,969
I'm gonna get it back!
21
00:00:56,969 --> 00:00:58,362
Even if he got it back,
he cannot sell cars.
22
00:00:58,362 --> 00:01:01,409
Our agreement includes
a non-competition clause.
23
00:01:01,409 --> 00:01:04,499
Fitzpatrick cannot own a
dealership, any dealership.
24
00:01:04,499 --> 00:01:07,067
Unless he opened it
in someone else's name!
25
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:09,808
You're all goin' down,
fuckers!
26
00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:14,683
I'm Richard Fitzpatrick,
27
00:01:14,683 --> 00:01:16,119
and I approve
this message.
28
00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:20,558
Coverton.
29
00:01:20,558 --> 00:01:21,820
There was a time
30
00:01:21,820 --> 00:01:24,562
when this shithole
wasn't such a shithole.
31
00:01:24,562 --> 00:01:26,042
On election day,
32
00:01:26,042 --> 00:01:28,958
you can help return this
shithole to its former glory.
33
00:01:28,958 --> 00:01:30,090
How?
34
00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:32,788
Vote for me,
Richard Fitzpatrick.
35
00:01:34,572 --> 00:01:37,140
Hey, way to ruin the fucking
shot, shit berry!
36
00:01:37,140 --> 00:01:38,620
Asshole!
37
00:01:38,620 --> 00:01:40,056
Why vote for me?
38
00:01:40,056 --> 00:01:42,580
Because I'm an outsider,
like you.
39
00:01:42,580 --> 00:01:44,713
I don't care about budgets,
or by-laws,
40
00:01:44,713 --> 00:01:45,975
or any other bullshit.
41
00:01:45,975 --> 00:01:47,672
I care about people.
42
00:01:47,672 --> 00:01:50,022
And I'm here to help you.
43
00:01:50,022 --> 00:01:52,938
There's a reason
you're single, scowlie.
44
00:01:52,938 --> 00:01:55,158
So if you're happy
with high taxes,
45
00:01:55,158 --> 00:01:56,812
crumbling infrastructure,
46
00:01:56,812 --> 00:01:59,902
and sexually inexperienced politicians,
47
00:01:59,902 --> 00:02:02,861
go ahead and waste your vote
on Chester Vince.
48
00:02:08,693 --> 00:02:10,869
But if you want real change?
49
00:02:10,869 --> 00:02:13,002
Your hero has arrived, Coverton.
50
00:02:13,002 --> 00:02:14,873
My name is Richard Fitzpatrick.
51
00:02:14,873 --> 00:02:17,006
But you can call me Fitz.
52
00:02:19,791 --> 00:02:21,706
- Fucking masterpiece.
- I'll schedule a reshoot.
53
00:03:10,799 --> 00:03:12,322
You blew our entire
advertising budget
54
00:03:12,322 --> 00:03:14,063
on Ebony Jugs magazine?
55
00:03:15,543 --> 00:03:17,022
Oh!
56
00:03:17,022 --> 00:03:19,024
Budget price for
a national spot.
57
00:03:19,024 --> 00:03:21,157
For a municipal election.
58
00:03:22,071 --> 00:03:23,986
We need to spend
our money wisely.
59
00:03:23,986 --> 00:03:25,944
And try to reach
a wider demographic
60
00:03:25,944 --> 00:03:28,556
than "exposed lady-parts
aficionados."
61
00:03:28,556 --> 00:03:30,210
The only demographic
Chester Vince
62
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:31,907
is currently not
kicking our ass in.
63
00:03:31,907 --> 00:03:33,256
Do you even know how big
64
00:03:33,256 --> 00:03:35,084
the ethnic community
in Coverton is?
65
00:03:36,346 --> 00:03:37,913
Well, I bet it's big.
66
00:03:37,913 --> 00:03:38,827
Don't you worry, buddy.
67
00:03:38,827 --> 00:03:40,132
On election day,
68
00:03:40,132 --> 00:03:42,178
shit like this
won't even matter.
69
00:03:42,178 --> 00:03:43,788
Shit like what?
70
00:03:43,788 --> 00:03:46,269
Like anyone's going to
believe Chester is a hero.
71
00:03:46,269 --> 00:03:48,576
He doesn't have x-ray
vision or a cape...
72
00:03:48,576 --> 00:03:50,752
Or a utility belt.
73
00:03:50,752 --> 00:03:52,144
Perfect example.
74
00:03:52,144 --> 00:03:53,755
This is why Chester Vince
75
00:03:53,755 --> 00:03:55,800
is killing us with
the ethnic vote.
76
00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:58,586
Because he's actually
targeting the ethnic vote.
77
00:03:58,586 --> 00:04:00,370
In Richard's defence -
78
00:04:00,370 --> 00:04:02,981
it is Ebony Jugs.
79
00:04:02,981 --> 00:04:04,766
And the ethnic groups
all love Chester.
80
00:04:04,766 --> 00:04:06,637
He's like some kind
of white Jesus.
81
00:04:06,637 --> 00:04:08,378
What the fuck are
you talking about?
82
00:04:08,378 --> 00:04:10,206
The ethnics love me.
83
00:04:10,206 --> 00:04:11,947
Mai Ling gave me extra
chicken balls last week -
84
00:04:11,947 --> 00:04:13,470
if you know what I'm sayin'.
85
00:04:13,470 --> 00:04:15,342
Richard, you shouldn't
use the "E" word.
86
00:04:15,342 --> 00:04:17,169
We need to show voters
that you care
87
00:04:17,169 --> 00:04:18,562
about all
people the same.
88
00:04:18,562 --> 00:04:20,216
Fuck me!
89
00:04:20,216 --> 00:04:22,697
You know what?
Every time I turn my back,
90
00:04:22,697 --> 00:04:24,351
that Vince is one-upping me.
91
00:04:24,351 --> 00:04:26,875
You turds need to up
my profile, big time.
92
00:04:26,875 --> 00:04:28,616
I'm the hero of the people,
93
00:04:28,616 --> 00:04:30,008
not that dick-licker.
94
00:04:30,008 --> 00:04:31,445
Now get me the ethnic vote.
95
00:04:31,445 --> 00:04:32,533
How?
96
00:04:32,533 --> 00:04:34,186
Three hours, and I want ideas.
97
00:04:43,761 --> 00:04:46,286
Fifty bucks?
I'm not that desperate.
98
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,940
Forty.
And your diazepam.
99
00:04:48,940 --> 00:04:51,421
We split the diazepam.
100
00:04:51,421 --> 00:04:54,424
All right.
Let's do this.
101
00:04:54,424 --> 00:04:56,861
Yes!
Come and get it.
102
00:05:01,257 --> 00:05:03,477
Oh yeah.
103
00:05:03,477 --> 00:05:06,610
Going to pay those
student loans.
104
00:05:06,610 --> 00:05:08,395
Hurry up,
what's taking so long?
105
00:05:10,658 --> 00:05:13,182
Hey!
What the fuck, man!
106
00:05:13,182 --> 00:05:15,315
Hey!
That was my date.
107
00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:17,186
Pack your shit.
We're going home.
108
00:05:17,186 --> 00:05:19,623
Not until you tell
me what you want.
109
00:05:19,623 --> 00:05:21,712
To know my daughter
is happy and healthy
110
00:05:21,712 --> 00:05:23,453
and free to sign a lease on
a new dealership.
111
00:05:23,453 --> 00:05:25,150
I knew it!
112
00:05:25,150 --> 00:05:26,456
I got to get around
whatever crap
113
00:05:26,456 --> 00:05:29,633
those flying carpet munchers
put in the contract.
114
00:05:29,633 --> 00:05:31,809
Non-compete clause my ass.
115
00:05:31,809 --> 00:05:34,464
And you want to work with me?
116
00:05:34,464 --> 00:05:36,205
Never shoulda sold
the family business
117
00:05:36,205 --> 00:05:37,424
to those gooks.
118
00:05:37,424 --> 00:05:39,295
Biggest mistake I ever made.
119
00:05:39,295 --> 00:05:42,167
Keep it in the family,
that's what grandpa said.
120
00:05:42,167 --> 00:05:43,995
Even if they're
fucking retards.
121
00:05:43,995 --> 00:05:45,127
How 'bout it, kid,
You and me?
122
00:05:45,127 --> 00:05:46,346
Ninety-ten.
123
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:47,651
Fifty-fifty.
124
00:05:47,651 --> 00:05:48,739
Eighty-twenty.
Gross.
125
00:05:48,739 --> 00:05:50,393
Seventy-five-twenty-five.
Net.
126
00:05:50,393 --> 00:05:53,004
That's my little retard.
127
00:05:59,446 --> 00:06:02,144
No matter how hard I try,
128
00:06:02,144 --> 00:06:04,799
I can't make Richard happy.
129
00:06:04,799 --> 00:06:06,366
You should know, titmouse,
130
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:10,674
because you're dead
because of my failure.
131
00:06:12,415 --> 00:06:14,025
Are you ok?
132
00:06:14,025 --> 00:06:15,592
Sorry, I didn't mean
to startle you,
133
00:06:15,592 --> 00:06:17,551
you just sounded so sad.
134
00:06:17,551 --> 00:06:19,291
Iris.
135
00:06:19,291 --> 00:06:20,858
Oh, Larry.
136
00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:24,209
Who are you visiting?
137
00:06:24,209 --> 00:06:28,953
Oh, a noble bird who
died needlessly
138
00:06:28,953 --> 00:06:32,304
and deserved
a proper burial.
139
00:06:32,304 --> 00:06:34,437
You?
140
00:06:34,437 --> 00:06:35,786
My fluffy little cuddly...
141
00:06:35,786 --> 00:06:37,745
...Bunny?
142
00:06:37,745 --> 00:06:38,920
He got away from
me one morning
143
00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:40,400
and was crossing
the road when a...
144
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,140
...Mustang ran him over?
145
00:06:42,140 --> 00:06:44,404
It's been a tough three years.
146
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:45,709
Three years.
147
00:06:45,709 --> 00:06:46,841
I'm here everyday after work.
148
00:06:46,841 --> 00:06:48,669
I just can't seem to let go.
149
00:06:48,669 --> 00:06:51,193
Such a tragedy.
150
00:06:51,193 --> 00:06:53,543
You're a sweet soul, Larry.
151
00:06:53,543 --> 00:06:55,284
I'm sure it wasn't your fault.
152
00:06:55,284 --> 00:06:56,981
You wouldn't say that
153
00:06:56,981 --> 00:06:58,722
if you knew how
responsible I am for...
154
00:06:58,722 --> 00:07:00,332
everything.
155
00:07:00,332 --> 00:07:01,595
Richard's anger.
156
00:07:01,595 --> 00:07:03,205
The poor
dead titmouse.
157
00:07:03,205 --> 00:07:04,554
Jeepers, Larry.
158
00:07:04,554 --> 00:07:06,687
Pretty selfish of you
to take all the blame.
159
00:07:06,687 --> 00:07:08,123
Some of the rest
of us want to mourn too.
160
00:07:08,123 --> 00:07:09,733
I'm sorry - I didn't mean-
161
00:07:09,733 --> 00:07:12,519
I was just
kidding, silly.
162
00:07:12,519 --> 00:07:14,521
I can tell by your aura,
you're a good person.
163
00:07:16,653 --> 00:07:18,612
I wish every man was like you.
164
00:07:18,612 --> 00:07:20,309
Yeah.
165
00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:38,196
D-do you want...?
166
00:07:38,196 --> 00:07:39,197
Uh...
167
00:07:44,942 --> 00:07:46,291
Every man...
168
00:07:55,866 --> 00:07:56,911
Ahh!
169
00:07:57,999 --> 00:08:00,088
Richard Fitzpatrick
is not a hero.
170
00:08:00,088 --> 00:08:01,698
Yes I am,
dick sniffer.
171
00:08:01,698 --> 00:08:04,527
Richard Fitzpatrick is better.
172
00:08:04,527 --> 00:08:07,008
I'm listening.
173
00:08:07,008 --> 00:08:10,925
Richard Fitzpatrick
is EVERY MAN.
174
00:08:10,925 --> 00:08:12,274
Oh! That sounds
like a super-hero.
175
00:08:12,274 --> 00:08:14,189
He is a super-hero, Josh.
176
00:08:14,189 --> 00:08:16,060
Compassion is
Every Man's superpower.
177
00:08:17,584 --> 00:08:19,586
You understand the plight
178
00:08:19,586 --> 00:08:20,848
of the sweat shop employee
179
00:08:20,848 --> 00:08:23,198
struggling to put
food on the table,
180
00:08:23,198 --> 00:08:25,983
the inner city youth whose
only career choice is crime,
181
00:08:25,983 --> 00:08:29,160
the overqualified immigrant
stuck driving a cab...
182
00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:32,642
And you shoot laser beams
from your eyeballs!
183
00:08:32,642 --> 00:08:34,035
What do you think?
184
00:08:35,340 --> 00:08:37,081
I think it bites
while it sucks -
185
00:08:37,081 --> 00:08:38,953
and we all know
how bad that can be.
186
00:08:40,781 --> 00:08:42,391
This isn't brain
surgery, Larry.
187
00:08:42,391 --> 00:08:43,566
We just need a way
188
00:08:43,566 --> 00:08:45,002
to make the ethnics love Fitz
189
00:08:45,002 --> 00:08:46,308
more than Chester.
190
00:08:46,308 --> 00:08:47,570
I love him more.
191
00:08:47,570 --> 00:08:48,571
Where the fuck have you been?
192
00:08:48,571 --> 00:08:49,659
I said three hours.
193
00:08:49,659 --> 00:08:51,139
Doing my job.
194
00:08:51,139 --> 00:08:52,749
Chester's holding a
surprise unity rally
195
00:08:52,749 --> 00:08:54,055
at City Hall.
196
00:08:54,055 --> 00:08:55,447
This afternoon.
197
00:08:55,447 --> 00:08:57,928
His multicultural drones
will be there.
198
00:08:57,928 --> 00:08:59,190
See guys?
This is simple.
199
00:08:59,190 --> 00:09:01,715
All we have to do is
hijack Chester's rally.
200
00:09:01,715 --> 00:09:04,979
So what do ethnics want?
201
00:09:04,979 --> 00:09:06,676
Equality is an
easy gift to give.
202
00:09:06,676 --> 00:09:08,460
And it's always free.
203
00:09:08,460 --> 00:09:10,767
There's one color
everyone loves.
204
00:09:10,767 --> 00:09:12,595
Green.
205
00:09:12,595 --> 00:09:13,857
Beautiful.
206
00:09:13,857 --> 00:09:15,119
Let's do that.
207
00:09:15,119 --> 00:09:17,557
Corruption? Bribery?
208
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,297
This isn't how
Every Man operates.
209
00:09:19,297 --> 00:09:20,385
Yeah, he flies.
210
00:09:20,385 --> 00:09:21,648
And bullets bounce
off his chest.
211
00:09:21,648 --> 00:09:23,345
P-ting!
P-ting!
212
00:09:23,345 --> 00:09:24,912
And he's all like
'Ha ha ha ha!'
213
00:09:27,828 --> 00:09:29,569
That's what I'd do
if I was Every Man.
214
00:09:31,788 --> 00:09:33,485
Aw, and I'd have
a bitchin' cape.
215
00:09:39,535 --> 00:09:40,841
I'm afraid your daughter's
216
00:09:40,841 --> 00:09:43,626
not ready to be released,
Mr. Fitzpatrick.
217
00:09:43,626 --> 00:09:46,237
She's still suffering from-
218
00:09:46,237 --> 00:09:50,633
Paranoia, resentment,
delusions of grandeur,
219
00:09:50,633 --> 00:09:53,157
hypersensitivity,
excessive irritability,
220
00:09:53,157 --> 00:09:56,596
rapid mood swings,
and violent outbursts.
221
00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:57,771
That was one fucking time,
222
00:09:57,771 --> 00:09:59,903
and I didn't know
the bedpan was metal!
223
00:09:59,903 --> 00:10:02,340
In fact, I was
hoping to schedule
224
00:10:02,340 --> 00:10:04,212
some time with you, sir.
225
00:10:04,212 --> 00:10:07,737
I believe your daughter's
rage is a learned behavior.
226
00:10:07,737 --> 00:10:10,392
I'm as calm as
a summer breeze.
227
00:10:10,392 --> 00:10:12,307
Now give me
my fucking daughter back!
228
00:10:12,307 --> 00:10:14,570
Well...
229
00:10:14,570 --> 00:10:16,311
I'm afraid I'm going to
have to ask you to leave now.
230
00:10:17,704 --> 00:10:21,055
Go ahead. Ask.
231
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,715
This way, please.
232
00:10:30,586 --> 00:10:33,633
Relax, Igor.
I'm leaving.
233
00:10:36,070 --> 00:10:37,637
Bye,
Daddy!
234
00:10:41,684 --> 00:10:43,991
I know what you're thinking.
235
00:10:43,991 --> 00:10:46,733
Another politician here
to talk about himself.
236
00:10:46,733 --> 00:10:49,300
Pause for laughter.
237
00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:51,346
But today isn't about patting
myself on the back
238
00:10:51,346 --> 00:10:53,348
for all the weapons
and drugs
239
00:10:53,348 --> 00:10:55,655
I've managed to get
off your streets.
240
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,918
I want you to meet some
special friends of mine...
241
00:10:57,918 --> 00:10:59,702
Richard, please,
don't do this.
242
00:10:59,702 --> 00:11:01,530
Not only is bribery unethical,
243
00:11:01,530 --> 00:11:02,705
it's illegal.
244
00:11:02,705 --> 00:11:06,361
Vote for Fitz.
Vote for Fitz.
245
00:11:06,361 --> 00:11:07,841
Best place to
troll for votes-
246
00:11:07,841 --> 00:11:09,973
Some other guy's rally.
247
00:11:09,973 --> 00:11:12,280
This is Greg.
248
00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:13,585
A few short months ago,
249
00:11:13,585 --> 00:11:15,283
he was a
wretched lowlife.
250
00:11:15,283 --> 00:11:17,415
Reeked of alcohol and sweat.
251
00:11:17,415 --> 00:11:20,418
Slept in
puddles of his own urine,
252
00:11:20,418 --> 00:11:22,464
and sold himself for
money to buy drugs.
253
00:11:24,771 --> 00:11:26,990
And now I am clean.
254
00:11:26,990 --> 00:11:28,731
He doesn't have two
dimes to rub together,
255
00:11:28,731 --> 00:11:30,124
but he's not tempted
256
00:11:30,124 --> 00:11:32,996
by any of the drugs
on this table,
257
00:11:32,996 --> 00:11:34,389
even though a
tenth of these drugs
258
00:11:34,389 --> 00:11:36,478
could certainly buy his
way off the street.
259
00:11:38,785 --> 00:11:40,482
And it's all thanks to me.
260
00:11:40,482 --> 00:11:42,484
Coverton, the hero
you've been waiting for
261
00:11:42,484 --> 00:11:43,833
has finally arrived.
262
00:11:43,833 --> 00:11:46,749
And his name is Chester Vince!
263
00:11:48,098 --> 00:11:50,013
That's my fucking line.
264
00:11:55,105 --> 00:11:56,672
Nobody move!
265
00:11:56,672 --> 00:11:57,978
This is Melody Gray,
266
00:11:57,978 --> 00:11:58,761
embedded at the
press conference,
267
00:11:58,761 --> 00:12:00,894
where we are under attack.
268
00:12:00,894 --> 00:12:02,286
Don't hurt us!
We have money!
269
00:12:02,286 --> 00:12:04,245
Yeah?
270
00:12:04,245 --> 00:12:06,987
Nice one, fuckwit.
271
00:12:14,559 --> 00:12:18,389
I call upon the
powers of equality!
272
00:12:18,389 --> 00:12:19,826
What the fuck?
273
00:12:23,133 --> 00:12:26,267
Black strength!
274
00:12:26,267 --> 00:12:28,312
Asian wisdom!
275
00:12:28,312 --> 00:12:30,793
Russian endurance!
Super-fast!
276
00:12:30,793 --> 00:12:32,882
Swiss organizational skills!
277
00:12:32,882 --> 00:12:35,624
And...
American cheese!
278
00:12:35,624 --> 00:12:37,408
How about Pashtun generosity?
279
00:12:37,408 --> 00:12:38,888
We have our own
community centre!
280
00:12:38,888 --> 00:12:40,629
- All are welcome!
- That's right, yes!
281
00:12:40,629 --> 00:12:42,196
- Except Kurds.
- That's right.
282
00:12:42,196 --> 00:12:43,806
Get my money!
My money!
283
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:47,941
Scram, punk.
284
00:12:52,206 --> 00:12:53,860
Yeah!
285
00:12:57,951 --> 00:12:59,343
Fuck.
286
00:13:05,567 --> 00:13:08,004
No one knows the swarthy
savior's secret origins,
287
00:13:08,004 --> 00:13:09,571
but one thing
is certain...
288
00:13:09,571 --> 00:13:11,660
The costumed
vigilante "Ethnic Man"
289
00:13:11,660 --> 00:13:13,967
is quickly becoming
a local legend.
290
00:13:16,970 --> 00:13:20,364
There I was, surrounded
by hooligans.
291
00:13:20,364 --> 00:13:23,759
Then he came out of nowhere
brandishing an opium pipe.
292
00:13:23,759 --> 00:13:26,980
He said: "Hey, you kids!
Stop teasing that man.
293
00:13:26,980 --> 00:13:30,026
Smoke this instead."
294
00:13:30,026 --> 00:13:32,594
And they did.
295
00:13:32,594 --> 00:13:34,117
In a matter of days,
296
00:13:34,117 --> 00:13:35,989
Ethnic Man's unique
brand of street justice
297
00:13:35,989 --> 00:13:38,382
has reduced crime
all over Coverton -
298
00:13:38,382 --> 00:13:40,863
except drug trafficking.
299
00:13:40,863 --> 00:13:42,212
But despite these statistics,
300
00:13:42,212 --> 00:13:43,953
opinion about the
vigilante is mixed.
301
00:13:43,953 --> 00:13:47,348
Ethnic Man's not racist.
Black is the absence of color.
302
00:13:47,348 --> 00:13:49,089
By painting his face black,
303
00:13:49,089 --> 00:13:50,699
he's making a
decisive statement
304
00:13:50,699 --> 00:13:53,267
about his dream of
a post racial world.
305
00:13:53,267 --> 00:13:55,791
All I know is that I loves it
when the niggers win,
306
00:13:55,791 --> 00:13:57,184
because they got nothing.
307
00:13:57,184 --> 00:13:59,055
What is racist is
choosing to ask me
308
00:13:59,055 --> 00:14:00,752
what is racist
because I am not white.
309
00:14:00,752 --> 00:14:02,885
You see,
you are the racist.
310
00:14:02,885 --> 00:14:04,104
You.
311
00:14:04,104 --> 00:14:05,627
But whether you're
pro-Ethnic man,
312
00:14:05,627 --> 00:14:06,933
or an uninformed idiot,
313
00:14:06,933 --> 00:14:08,978
there's one thing we
can all agree on...
314
00:14:08,978 --> 00:14:10,501
crime fighting in Coverton
315
00:14:10,501 --> 00:14:11,894
just got a lot
more sexy.
316
00:14:11,894 --> 00:14:13,722
Thank you, Ethnic Man,
317
00:14:13,722 --> 00:14:16,594
wherever - and
whoever - you are.
318
00:14:17,726 --> 00:14:19,728
Call me.
319
00:14:19,728 --> 00:14:21,730
It's not Ethnic Man,
it's Every Man!
320
00:14:22,949 --> 00:14:24,776
I mean, I bet
that's what it is.
321
00:14:24,776 --> 00:14:26,474
I mean,
how would I know, right?
322
00:14:26,474 --> 00:14:27,867
I'm not Every Man.
323
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:29,216
Shut up, fucktard.
324
00:14:29,216 --> 00:14:30,565
Plan B.
325
00:14:30,565 --> 00:14:32,480
Everyone loves you
so you'll make them love me.
326
00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:34,961
Ethnic vote - boom.
327
00:14:38,442 --> 00:14:42,446
I can't hide it anymore.
328
00:14:42,446 --> 00:14:44,318
I'm Every Man.
329
00:14:44,318 --> 00:14:46,015
No shit.
330
00:14:46,015 --> 00:14:47,799
That's why you're going to put
on your little clown outfit,
331
00:14:47,799 --> 00:14:49,932
prance around at my rally
332
00:14:49,932 --> 00:14:51,455
and tell everyone
you endorse me
333
00:14:51,455 --> 00:14:52,935
for city council.
334
00:14:52,935 --> 00:14:54,676
I'll start
on the permits.
335
00:14:54,676 --> 00:14:57,374
We're having a rally?
336
00:14:57,374 --> 00:14:59,376
Yeah, set it up.
337
00:14:59,376 --> 00:15:00,900
We're gonna call it:
338
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:03,772
The rally for all
people everywhere.
339
00:15:03,772 --> 00:15:07,341
Rally for all people everywhere...
340
00:15:07,341 --> 00:15:08,342
Yeah.
341
00:15:08,342 --> 00:15:10,300
A rally for RAPE?
342
00:15:12,215 --> 00:15:14,261
All right, snot lunch,
you come up with something.
343
00:15:14,261 --> 00:15:16,698
No.
344
00:15:16,698 --> 00:15:18,352
Every Man is many things,
345
00:15:18,352 --> 00:15:21,094
but he's not a dancing monkey.
346
00:15:21,094 --> 00:15:23,748
Every Man doesn't
believe in politics.
347
00:15:23,748 --> 00:15:26,012
He believes in justice.
348
00:15:26,012 --> 00:15:28,362
And equality.
349
00:15:28,362 --> 00:15:30,451
And fish tacos.
350
00:15:30,451 --> 00:15:32,453
Because fighting crime
makes him wicked hungry.
351
00:15:35,891 --> 00:15:39,939
Remember kids,
you can't be Every Man
352
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:41,941
but you can be a difference.
353
00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:43,420
Because being a difference
354
00:15:43,420 --> 00:15:45,509
makes you Every Man.
355
00:15:46,902 --> 00:15:47,947
Yeah?
356
00:15:49,905 --> 00:15:51,602
What does that even mean?
357
00:15:51,602 --> 00:15:53,604
It means you need
a fucking cape.
358
00:15:53,604 --> 00:15:55,128
Oh...
359
00:15:57,173 --> 00:15:58,653
This isn't going to work.
360
00:15:58,653 --> 00:16:00,002
What the fuck do you know?
361
00:16:00,002 --> 00:16:01,308
No one in their right mind
362
00:16:01,308 --> 00:16:02,526
would ever believe
you're a doctor.
363
00:16:02,526 --> 00:16:04,485
This ID got me in here,
364
00:16:04,485 --> 00:16:05,834
and it will get us both out.
365
00:16:05,834 --> 00:16:07,009
You know what we should do?
366
00:16:07,009 --> 00:16:08,141
Raid the pharmacy.
367
00:16:08,141 --> 00:16:09,490
Shut up and act crazy.
368
00:16:09,490 --> 00:16:10,882
You want crazy?
369
00:16:10,882 --> 00:16:13,102
The shadows!
370
00:16:13,102 --> 00:16:16,018
They're eating me!
Sideways!
371
00:16:16,018 --> 00:16:18,760
Thorazine!
Give me my thorazine!
372
00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:20,718
How am I supposed to do that?
373
00:16:20,718 --> 00:16:23,286
You figure it out, Doctor.
374
00:16:38,301 --> 00:16:40,216
Richard, this is a bad idea.
375
00:16:40,216 --> 00:16:42,001
And tomatoes are a fruit.
376
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:43,611
What's that have to
do with anything?
377
00:16:43,611 --> 00:16:44,786
I thought we were talking
378
00:16:44,786 --> 00:16:46,179
about stuff we didn't
give a fuck about.
379
00:16:46,179 --> 00:16:47,223
Get out here, Ethnic Man.
380
00:16:52,098 --> 00:16:54,578
Now, tell the people
that I kick ass.
381
00:16:54,578 --> 00:16:56,406
That I am "the man."
382
00:16:56,406 --> 00:16:58,060
Tell who?
383
00:16:59,888 --> 00:17:01,063
- Where are the crowds?
- I don't know.
384
00:17:01,063 --> 00:17:03,370
I posted flyers
and everything.
385
00:17:03,370 --> 00:17:05,502
Cops. Oooh.
386
00:17:05,502 --> 00:17:07,461
You're Ethnic Man?
387
00:17:07,461 --> 00:17:09,593
You're damn right.
388
00:17:09,593 --> 00:17:10,594
Ma'am.
389
00:17:10,594 --> 00:17:12,379
Richard, help.
390
00:17:12,379 --> 00:17:13,902
You can't arrest Ethnic Man!
391
00:17:13,902 --> 00:17:16,165
He's about to endorse me
as his favorite candidate.
392
00:17:16,165 --> 00:17:17,775
So this rally
was your idea?
393
00:17:17,775 --> 00:17:19,081
What the fuck
do you think?
394
00:17:19,081 --> 00:17:20,996
Hey!
395
00:17:20,996 --> 00:17:23,433
Hey buddy.
396
00:17:23,433 --> 00:17:25,435
Hey, get your hands off
my nightstick, officer!
397
00:17:25,435 --> 00:17:26,784
Oh boy.
398
00:17:31,615 --> 00:17:33,487
You can't seriously
want an endorsement
399
00:17:33,487 --> 00:17:35,271
from that costumed lunatic.
400
00:17:35,271 --> 00:17:38,231
I'd be crazy not to.
Everyone loves Ethnic Man.
401
00:17:38,231 --> 00:17:40,537
Plus, I need to keep
the coloreds happy.
402
00:17:40,537 --> 00:17:42,452
I married a racist imbecile.
403
00:17:42,452 --> 00:17:43,845
Would an imbecile come up
404
00:17:43,845 --> 00:17:45,368
with the perfect plan
to meet Ethnic Man?
405
00:17:45,368 --> 00:17:46,717
Yes.
406
00:17:46,717 --> 00:17:48,284
That's exactly what
an imbecile would do.
407
00:17:51,331 --> 00:17:53,507
This isn't the grocery store.
408
00:17:53,507 --> 00:17:55,291
I must have taken
a wrong turn.
409
00:17:55,291 --> 00:17:57,119
I hope no one
tries to mug us!
410
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,647
Are you trying to get us
robbed on purpose,
411
00:18:03,647 --> 00:18:05,606
so you can meet Ethnic Man?
412
00:18:05,606 --> 00:18:08,304
I heard this is
where he hangs out.
413
00:18:08,304 --> 00:18:10,176
We call it crack town.
414
00:18:10,176 --> 00:18:12,091
You endanger
your wife and child
415
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:13,614
for a publicity stunt?
416
00:18:13,614 --> 00:18:15,137
She's right, dude.
417
00:18:15,137 --> 00:18:16,704
That's low.
418
00:18:16,704 --> 00:18:18,358
You don't look
like Ethnic Man.
419
00:18:18,358 --> 00:18:19,881
You don't even
remember me, do you?
420
00:18:19,881 --> 00:18:21,491
I was at your fucking rally.
421
00:18:21,491 --> 00:18:23,276
I robbed you.
422
00:18:23,276 --> 00:18:25,104
Oh what, we all look the same?
423
00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:27,149
Okay, whoa!
You don't want to do this.
424
00:18:27,149 --> 00:18:28,933
Oh right, 'cause an Asian
can't carjack a bitch.
425
00:18:28,933 --> 00:18:30,761
I should go do some
calculus or something.
426
00:18:36,550 --> 00:18:38,987
Ethnic Man!
Help!
427
00:18:40,858 --> 00:18:42,817
We're going to
take a little ride.
428
00:18:52,218 --> 00:18:55,003
Wow.
429
00:18:55,003 --> 00:18:56,657
Dispatch, we have
two in custody,
430
00:18:56,657 --> 00:18:58,137
heading to booking.
431
00:18:58,137 --> 00:18:59,747
What did I do? Ten-four.
432
00:18:59,747 --> 00:19:00,878
Let's begin with
reckless disregard
433
00:19:00,878 --> 00:19:02,445
for human safety.
434
00:19:02,445 --> 00:19:03,620
Inciting violence.
435
00:19:03,620 --> 00:19:05,405
Indecent behavior.
436
00:19:05,405 --> 00:19:07,494
We'll worry about the hate
crimes at the precinct.
437
00:19:07,494 --> 00:19:09,670
Hate crimes?
For a rally?
438
00:19:09,670 --> 00:19:11,976
City doesn't take
kindly to Aryan rallies.
439
00:19:11,976 --> 00:19:13,326
Go figure.
440
00:19:13,326 --> 00:19:14,588
It's a peace rally.
441
00:19:14,588 --> 00:19:16,677
That's a swastika.
442
00:19:16,677 --> 00:19:18,635
Oh...
443
00:19:18,635 --> 00:19:20,594
But it's a Tibetan
symbol for peace!
444
00:19:20,594 --> 00:19:22,683
Way to make things
all white supremacy.
445
00:19:22,683 --> 00:19:24,902
Unit 36, there is
a kiddnapping in progress.
446
00:19:24,902 --> 00:19:27,209
Warehouse 3 at Riverside
and John.
447
00:19:27,209 --> 00:19:30,256
City prosecutor's wife.
448
00:19:30,256 --> 00:19:31,779
Ali!
449
00:19:31,779 --> 00:19:33,084
The assailant is
drugged and armed.
450
00:19:38,873 --> 00:19:41,223
Thirty-five-years-old
451
00:19:41,223 --> 00:19:43,051
and you can't swallow
a fucking pill.
452
00:19:45,488 --> 00:19:49,362
♪ I can see forever.
453
00:19:49,362 --> 00:19:52,234
You know, if you were
permanently whacked out,
454
00:19:52,234 --> 00:19:55,194
Daddy could get custodial
control of your life.
455
00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:56,543
Would you like that?
456
00:19:56,543 --> 00:19:58,022
Butterflies are Tuesday.
457
00:20:00,764 --> 00:20:03,550
Daddy, love you so much!
458
00:20:08,294 --> 00:20:11,427
It's a good thing
I found this patient in time.
459
00:20:11,427 --> 00:20:12,646
The security here.
460
00:20:12,646 --> 00:20:14,691
You couldn't spring
for a decent lock?
461
00:20:14,691 --> 00:20:15,823
We need to pump her stomach.
462
00:20:15,823 --> 00:20:17,999
Is your first name doctor?
463
00:20:17,999 --> 00:20:20,349
Get me one of those
electro-shock thingies...
464
00:20:20,349 --> 00:20:21,655
A defibrillator?
465
00:20:21,655 --> 00:20:23,570
What did I just fucking say?
466
00:20:29,532 --> 00:20:31,795
Ethnic Man!
Finally.
467
00:20:31,795 --> 00:20:33,057
Get him out of the car.
468
00:20:36,931 --> 00:20:39,281
You seem taller in person.
469
00:20:39,281 --> 00:20:40,804
My wife!
She's in danger.
470
00:20:40,804 --> 00:20:42,284
You've got to save her,
Ethnic Man.
471
00:20:42,284 --> 00:20:43,851
And then endorse me
for city council.
472
00:20:43,851 --> 00:20:45,331
What do you think
you're doing?
473
00:20:45,331 --> 00:20:47,071
I'm drafting
Ethnic Man to save Ali.
474
00:20:47,071 --> 00:20:48,943
No, no, no.
This is my Ethnic Man.
475
00:20:48,943 --> 00:20:50,292
If anyone is going to
tell him to save Ali,
476
00:20:50,292 --> 00:20:51,641
it's going to be me.
477
00:20:51,641 --> 00:20:54,470
Perhaps we should let
the police to save Ali.
478
00:20:54,470 --> 00:20:57,125
Knock yourself out.
That guy's got a gun.
479
00:20:57,125 --> 00:21:00,259
Do you want me to win this
election or not?
480
00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:03,436
Very well, I -
Ethnic Man -
481
00:21:03,436 --> 00:21:05,307
will save Ali Devon.
482
00:21:05,307 --> 00:21:07,178
Because I told him to.
483
00:21:07,178 --> 00:21:08,789
Ethnic...
484
00:21:08,789 --> 00:21:09,877
Fucking go!
485
00:21:09,877 --> 00:21:11,139
Excuse me.
486
00:21:18,973 --> 00:21:20,235
Are you sure this
is the best way
487
00:21:20,235 --> 00:21:21,976
to deal with an overdose?
488
00:21:21,976 --> 00:21:24,413
Oh, I'm sure.
Clear!
489
00:21:26,197 --> 00:21:27,938
This asshole isn't a doctor!
490
00:21:27,938 --> 00:21:29,853
She's hallucinating! He's my father and
he's trying to--
491
00:21:29,853 --> 00:21:31,986
Ahhh!
492
00:21:31,986 --> 00:21:33,988
He's trying to turn me
into a vegetable!
493
00:21:33,988 --> 00:21:35,642
Can we get a little more
juice in this thing?
494
00:21:35,642 --> 00:21:37,731
Ahh!
Asshole! Asshole!
495
00:21:37,731 --> 00:21:39,776
Ahhh!
496
00:21:41,343 --> 00:21:43,476
Ahhh!
497
00:21:43,476 --> 00:21:44,912
What's going on?
498
00:21:47,393 --> 00:21:49,438
Mr. Fitzpatrick.
499
00:21:51,484 --> 00:21:53,834
Hey.
Is your kid white?
500
00:21:53,834 --> 00:21:55,009
What?
501
00:21:55,009 --> 00:21:56,402
I heard you can get
like thirty grand
502
00:21:56,402 --> 00:21:58,447
for a kid if he's
not a minority.
503
00:21:58,447 --> 00:22:00,754
Halt, evil doer.
504
00:22:00,754 --> 00:22:03,365
I am Ethnic Man.
505
00:22:03,365 --> 00:22:05,062
I clean up crime.
506
00:22:05,062 --> 00:22:07,151
Like an ethnic cleanser.
507
00:22:07,151 --> 00:22:11,852
No, wait.
Not like that.
508
00:22:11,852 --> 00:22:15,377
Oh my God,
Fitz put you up to this?
509
00:22:15,377 --> 00:22:16,813
Is it so hard to believe
510
00:22:16,813 --> 00:22:18,380
that I'm a degenerate
drug addict?
511
00:22:18,380 --> 00:22:20,164
You don't know what
I'll to do to get high.
512
00:22:20,164 --> 00:22:21,601
Oh, God.
513
00:22:21,601 --> 00:22:23,907
The things I've
done to get high.
514
00:22:23,907 --> 00:22:26,170
Don't think of
Richard as a sleaze
515
00:22:26,170 --> 00:22:27,607
who makes your life miserable.
516
00:22:27,607 --> 00:22:29,260
Think of the
good times.
517
00:22:29,260 --> 00:22:32,481
Like moment of happiness
seven months ago.
518
00:22:32,481 --> 00:22:35,310
Seven months ago,
when you...
519
00:22:35,310 --> 00:22:37,530
and Richard...
520
00:22:37,530 --> 00:22:40,315
OH. MY. GOODNESS.
521
00:22:43,579 --> 00:22:45,102
Larry - whatever
you're thinking,
522
00:22:45,102 --> 00:22:47,322
don't say one more word.
523
00:22:47,322 --> 00:22:48,889
You know why I
became a drug addict?
524
00:22:48,889 --> 00:22:51,108
To show my friends Asian
kids could be cool.
525
00:22:51,108 --> 00:22:52,849
Yeah, it's really cool
to suck dick for crack.
526
00:22:52,849 --> 00:22:54,416
Do you mind?
527
00:22:54,416 --> 00:22:55,461
We're in the middle
of something here.
528
00:22:55,461 --> 00:22:57,332
Hey, fuck you, asshole!
529
00:22:57,332 --> 00:22:59,465
My shit's just as
important as yours.
530
00:22:59,465 --> 00:23:01,336
Hey, Jamal.
I got the stuff -
531
00:23:01,336 --> 00:23:03,686
Whoa!
You're not Jamal.
532
00:23:03,686 --> 00:23:07,081
Holy fuck.
Another one.
533
00:23:07,081 --> 00:23:08,648
Oh, thank god.
534
00:23:08,648 --> 00:23:12,608
You're here to save us.
535
00:23:12,608 --> 00:23:15,829
Yes. Yes!
I'm here to save you.
536
00:23:15,829 --> 00:23:17,961
And not to sell drugs.
537
00:23:17,961 --> 00:23:19,833
You don't even have a weapon.
538
00:23:21,922 --> 00:23:24,490
Before you pull that trigger,
539
00:23:24,490 --> 00:23:27,014
you gotta ask
yourself one question.
540
00:23:27,014 --> 00:23:29,146
Oh yeah?
541
00:23:29,146 --> 00:23:30,539
What's that?
542
00:23:32,541 --> 00:23:33,847
Wanna get high?
543
00:23:35,718 --> 00:23:37,154
It's been four hours
544
00:23:37,154 --> 00:23:39,069
since this hostage
drama started,
545
00:23:39,069 --> 00:23:42,116
with no word from the
kidnapper or kidnappers,
546
00:23:42,116 --> 00:23:44,466
except a demand for fish tacos
547
00:23:44,466 --> 00:23:46,990
and Battleship,
original edition.
548
00:23:50,211 --> 00:23:52,474
Hello there.
549
00:23:52,474 --> 00:23:54,520
You're black.
What do you think?
550
00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:56,173
Do you think
Ali Devon still alive?
551
00:23:56,173 --> 00:23:58,915
Or do you think she has she
been brutalized sexually
552
00:23:58,915 --> 00:24:01,875
in a way this reporter
can only imagine?
553
00:24:01,875 --> 00:24:03,790
What is with you white chicks?
554
00:24:03,790 --> 00:24:05,748
Don't shoot!
We're coming out.
555
00:24:05,748 --> 00:24:07,271
We're okay!
556
00:24:07,271 --> 00:24:08,882
Fuck.
557
00:24:08,882 --> 00:24:11,014
Let's see your hands!
Come on, let's see them!
558
00:24:12,712 --> 00:24:14,061
Keep 'em up,
keep 'em up!
559
00:24:14,061 --> 00:24:21,547
Ethnic Man!
560
00:24:21,547 --> 00:24:22,765
Ali!
561
00:24:22,765 --> 00:24:24,027
All right,
cuff him, boys!
562
00:24:24,027 --> 00:24:26,595
Stay strong, brother.
563
00:24:26,595 --> 00:24:29,076
Hey, ya!
Ha ha, yeah!
564
00:24:30,991 --> 00:24:34,995
Thank you!
But it's not Ethnic Man.
565
00:24:34,995 --> 00:24:36,300
It's Every Man.
566
00:24:36,300 --> 00:24:37,911
And Ethnic Man
567
00:24:37,911 --> 00:24:39,869
is voting for
Richard Fitzpatrick!
568
00:24:39,869 --> 00:24:41,001
Every Man.
569
00:24:41,001 --> 00:24:42,829
No, he's voting
for Chester Vince!
570
00:24:42,829 --> 00:24:44,657
No!
571
00:24:44,657 --> 00:24:48,530
Every Man is not about voting!
572
00:24:48,530 --> 00:24:50,401
Cock banging fuck sockets.
573
00:24:50,401 --> 00:24:52,186
And he's not
about politics.
574
00:24:52,186 --> 00:24:54,754
Yeah,
he's about compassion.
575
00:24:54,754 --> 00:24:56,886
No.
He's about equality.
576
00:24:56,886 --> 00:24:59,280
You fucking idiots
are wrong.
577
00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:01,456
Ethnic Man is all
about getting votes
578
00:25:01,456 --> 00:25:03,110
for Richard Fitzpatrick
579
00:25:03,110 --> 00:25:05,939
so he can open his bar.
580
00:25:05,939 --> 00:25:08,811
Uh, and respect for all.
581
00:25:08,811 --> 00:25:10,291
You want me to
respect a criminal?
582
00:25:10,291 --> 00:25:12,423
You're just pissed I'm a
better thief than you are.
583
00:25:12,423 --> 00:25:14,991
I'm a Legal Aid lawyer,
General Tao.
584
00:25:14,991 --> 00:25:16,602
You rice rocket, fortune
cookie, mother fucker.
585
00:25:16,602 --> 00:25:17,951
Oh, for fuck's sake -
586
00:25:17,951 --> 00:25:19,561
can we talk about
what's important here?
587
00:25:19,561 --> 00:25:21,824
Me, winning this election.
588
00:25:21,824 --> 00:25:23,217
And for the record-
589
00:25:23,217 --> 00:25:24,653
Well, I love all races.
590
00:25:24,653 --> 00:25:26,960
And I don't have to
classify the women I nail.
591
00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:28,570
I don't get the yellow fever.
592
00:25:28,570 --> 00:25:30,572
I'm not after the brown sugar.
593
00:25:30,572 --> 00:25:31,878
There's only one color
594
00:25:31,878 --> 00:25:33,575
that matters to
Richard Fitzpatrick:
595
00:25:33,575 --> 00:25:36,056
that's the sweet, soft pink.
596
00:25:38,232 --> 00:25:40,364
Mmmm.
597
00:25:40,364 --> 00:25:42,628
Am I right or am I right?
598
00:25:42,628 --> 00:25:44,064
I'm not sure...
599
00:25:44,064 --> 00:25:48,459
I think what Richard
is trying to say is...
600
00:25:48,459 --> 00:25:51,158
Can't we all just get along?
601
00:25:51,158 --> 00:25:52,202
Guys?
602
00:25:52,202 --> 00:25:53,726
Group hug, maybe?
603
00:25:55,031 --> 00:25:56,206
Good one, man!
604
00:25:56,206 --> 00:25:58,078
That answer your question,
cracker ass?
605
00:25:58,078 --> 00:25:59,383
Look out!
606
00:25:59,383 --> 00:26:01,124
Hey, fuck you!
607
00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:14,573
♪ Welcome to my world
608
00:26:14,573 --> 00:26:19,969
♪ Won't you come on in
609
00:26:19,969 --> 00:26:25,105
♪ Miracles, I guess
610
00:26:25,105 --> 00:26:30,545
♪ Still happen now and then
611
00:26:30,545 --> 00:26:33,330
♪ Step into my heart
612
00:26:35,681 --> 00:26:38,771
God damn torturer fuckers.
613
00:26:40,120 --> 00:26:41,643
Now we can go
to group together.
614
00:26:41,643 --> 00:26:42,992
That'll be fun.
615
00:26:42,992 --> 00:26:44,646
There's pudding on Tuesdays.
616
00:26:44,646 --> 00:26:46,517
There's a pool here.
It's pretty okay.
617
00:26:46,517 --> 00:26:48,650
Except that bitch nurse
makes me wear floaties.
618
00:26:48,650 --> 00:26:51,740
Like, what?
42060
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof