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1
00:00:31,553 --> 00:00:35,600
♪ Any time
2
00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:38,038
♪ Any time you want me
3
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:41,084
♪ Honey, just let me know
4
00:00:41,084 --> 00:00:43,782
Every relationship is
a form of seduction.
5
00:00:43,782 --> 00:00:45,871
It's not just
your sex partners,
6
00:00:45,871 --> 00:00:47,960
it's your friends,
your bank teller,
7
00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:50,050
the cop considering
arresting you
8
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:52,095
for involuntary vehicular
manslaughter--
9
00:00:52,095 --> 00:00:53,096
again.
10
00:00:53,096 --> 00:00:56,012
Oh, the humanity.
11
00:00:56,012 --> 00:00:57,274
And like any seduction,
12
00:00:57,274 --> 00:00:59,146
there are simple
rules to follow
13
00:00:59,146 --> 00:01:00,973
in order to get what you want.
14
00:01:00,973 --> 00:01:03,106
Be honest.
15
00:01:03,106 --> 00:01:05,065
Ali Devin and I
were in the car.
16
00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:06,544
What were you doing there?
17
00:01:06,544 --> 00:01:08,459
She had just had a big fight
with her mother.
18
00:01:08,459 --> 00:01:10,548
I went out to
smooth things over.
19
00:01:10,548 --> 00:01:11,941
She was in the driver's seat.
20
00:01:11,941 --> 00:01:15,162
Expect me to believe that
all you did was talk?
21
00:01:15,162 --> 00:01:16,554
Agree with them.
22
00:01:16,554 --> 00:01:19,557
It makes them feel smart
and in charge.
23
00:01:19,557 --> 00:01:20,993
Look, I know what
you're thinking, officer,
24
00:01:20,993 --> 00:01:23,039
and you're absolutely right.
25
00:01:23,039 --> 00:01:27,739
She is a hottie with a sweater
full of goodness. Mm.
26
00:01:27,739 --> 00:01:29,959
Show them your
sensitive side.
27
00:01:29,959 --> 00:01:32,004
Let them know that you care.
28
00:01:32,004 --> 00:01:35,225
But I did marry her mother.
29
00:01:35,225 --> 00:01:37,488
Oh, God, Babs.
30
00:01:37,488 --> 00:01:40,143
I loved her to death.
31
00:01:40,143 --> 00:01:42,058
Let me rephrase that.
32
00:01:42,058 --> 00:01:44,800
Wait here.
33
00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:47,368
Of course, like any seduction,
you have to watch out
34
00:01:47,368 --> 00:01:49,935
for the cock block,
a force of nature,
35
00:01:49,935 --> 00:01:53,896
like an ex-boyfriend,
a "fugly" BFF
36
00:01:53,896 --> 00:01:55,463
or the other police officer
37
00:01:55,463 --> 00:01:59,467
who's arrested you once already
on similar charges.
38
00:01:59,467 --> 00:02:01,033
You can't fight it.
39
00:02:01,033 --> 00:02:04,298
Just ride out the storm
and hope for the best.
40
00:02:04,298 --> 00:02:07,083
Miss. Devin confirms your story.
41
00:02:07,083 --> 00:02:09,041
Sounds like this was just
an unfortunate accident.
42
00:02:09,041 --> 00:02:11,087
It was.
43
00:02:14,612 --> 00:02:16,353
I know what happened
in that car.
44
00:02:16,353 --> 00:02:18,573
What didn't happen?
45
00:02:18,573 --> 00:02:20,096
You and Ali bonded.
46
00:02:20,096 --> 00:02:21,880
Hey, give your mouth
the night off, will you?
47
00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:23,273
If these cops find out
48
00:02:23,273 --> 00:02:25,057
that Ali and I were about to
fool around--
49
00:02:25,057 --> 00:02:27,712
You opened up to her
and she opened up to you.
50
00:02:27,712 --> 00:02:29,975
She was about to until Babs
51
00:02:29,975 --> 00:02:32,021
turned herself into
a street pizza.
52
00:02:32,021 --> 00:02:33,457
Richard, don't rebuild
that wall,
53
00:02:33,457 --> 00:02:35,242
the wall that you've built
54
00:02:35,242 --> 00:02:37,026
around your heart,
55
00:02:37,026 --> 00:02:39,246
the one that you use
to keep people out.
56
00:02:39,246 --> 00:02:41,291
Go get her. Comfort her.
57
00:02:41,291 --> 00:02:42,684
She needs compassion.
58
00:02:42,684 --> 00:02:44,207
Like you know what
a woman needs.
59
00:02:46,296 --> 00:02:47,341
Martini?
60
00:02:50,082 --> 00:02:53,085
My mother's dead and all you can
think about is a Martini?
61
00:02:53,085 --> 00:02:55,653
Well, I was thinking about
several, actually.
62
00:02:55,653 --> 00:02:58,439
We just ran over my mother.
63
00:02:58,439 --> 00:02:59,570
We?
64
00:02:59,570 --> 00:03:01,050
You think this is my fault?
65
00:03:01,050 --> 00:03:04,488
Well, you were in
the driver's seat.
66
00:03:04,488 --> 00:03:05,489
Oh my God!
67
00:03:05,489 --> 00:03:08,188
My mother is dead!
68
00:03:13,889 --> 00:03:16,108
Cock blocked by a corpse.
69
00:03:16,108 --> 00:03:19,242
Well, that's one
for the biography.
70
00:03:23,768 --> 00:03:26,249
What?
71
00:03:26,249 --> 00:03:28,251
♪ Any time at all
72
00:03:30,732 --> 00:03:31,733
♪ Any time at all
73
00:03:41,264 --> 00:03:43,266
♪ Without you
74
00:03:43,266 --> 00:03:47,488
♪ I'd find my smile
75
00:03:47,488 --> 00:03:50,055
♪ Without you
76
00:03:50,055 --> 00:03:52,884
♪ I'd have won
by a mile ♪
77
00:03:52,884 --> 00:03:55,104
♪ Without you
78
00:03:55,104 --> 00:03:58,977
♪ Oh life would be
so grand ♪
79
00:03:58,977 --> 00:04:00,936
♪ Without you
80
00:04:00,936 --> 00:04:02,851
♪ I'm half a man
81
00:04:02,851 --> 00:04:08,204
♪ Without you
82
00:04:09,858 --> 00:04:18,345
♪ Without you
83
00:04:20,695 --> 00:04:22,871
Thank you so much
for the house call.
84
00:04:22,871 --> 00:04:25,613
I used to think it was so morbid
85
00:04:25,613 --> 00:04:27,354
the way she would obsess
about these things,
86
00:04:27,354 --> 00:04:31,271
but now I realize she was just
trying to make it easier on me.
87
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:33,838
Your mother was a wise woman.
88
00:04:33,838 --> 00:04:35,623
I can't tell you
the amount of stress
89
00:04:35,623 --> 00:04:39,104
these questions can put
on a family.
90
00:04:39,104 --> 00:04:41,063
I just wish I'd realized that
91
00:04:41,063 --> 00:04:45,154
"I want an organic funeral"
actually meant "I love you."
92
00:04:45,154 --> 00:04:47,722
An Eternal Sky Funeral Home
is on the forefront
93
00:04:47,722 --> 00:04:51,552
of environmentally
conscious services.
94
00:04:51,552 --> 00:04:53,641
We offer everything from
cruelty free cosmetics
95
00:04:53,641 --> 00:04:55,860
to biodegradable caskets.
96
00:04:55,860 --> 00:04:57,775
Well, all Mom ever wanted
97
00:04:57,775 --> 00:05:02,302
was to be placed in a hole
in the ground, naked,
98
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:05,348
and to have a single sapling
planted on top.
99
00:05:05,348 --> 00:05:08,003
Well, that's beautiful.
100
00:05:08,003 --> 00:05:09,657
And completely illegal.
101
00:05:09,657 --> 00:05:11,485
Excuse me?
102
00:05:11,485 --> 00:05:14,531
What we can do is
cremate your mother,
103
00:05:14,531 --> 00:05:16,577
mix her ashes with some soil
104
00:05:16,577 --> 00:05:18,753
and plant some tomatoes
or something.
105
00:05:18,753 --> 00:05:20,407
Or if you're feeling
more adventurous,
106
00:05:20,407 --> 00:05:23,801
you could have her cremains
turned into a diamond.
107
00:05:25,368 --> 00:05:28,153
My mother was very clear
about her wishes.
108
00:05:28,153 --> 00:05:31,505
And it's a crime that
accommodating those wishes
109
00:05:31,505 --> 00:05:33,507
is a crime.
110
00:05:33,507 --> 00:05:35,552
Now, how about an urn carved
in your mother's image?
111
00:05:35,552 --> 00:05:38,599
You've got to be
kidding me.
112
00:05:38,599 --> 00:05:41,776
I hate to put this kind of
pressure on the bereaved,
113
00:05:41,776 --> 00:05:45,736
but the natural process
of decay has begun.
114
00:05:45,736 --> 00:05:48,739
Flies have probably already
laid eggs in your mother.
115
00:05:48,739 --> 00:05:51,699
Any kind of open casket service
116
00:05:51,699 --> 00:05:53,744
will be impossible
within the next 24 hours
117
00:05:53,744 --> 00:05:55,572
without Eternal
Sky Funeral Homes'
118
00:05:55,572 --> 00:05:59,315
trademark embalming.
119
00:06:00,838 --> 00:06:04,668
Think about it.
120
00:06:04,668 --> 00:06:08,933
Babs is in a car accident
with you and didn't die.
121
00:06:08,933 --> 00:06:12,415
And then she's in another car
accident with you and does die.
122
00:06:12,415 --> 00:06:13,938
That's like destiny.
123
00:06:13,938 --> 00:06:17,638
Or fate. Or destiny.
124
00:06:17,638 --> 00:06:19,422
It's a pain in the ass,
is what it is.
125
00:06:19,422 --> 00:06:21,032
Yeah, but doesn't that mean
you're off the hook?
126
00:06:21,032 --> 00:06:22,556
The way things are
going for me lately,
127
00:06:22,556 --> 00:06:25,080
it's going to become my own
private Chappaquiddick,
128
00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:27,169
everyone laying the blame
on good old Fitzy.
129
00:06:27,169 --> 00:06:28,823
Yep.
130
00:06:28,823 --> 00:06:31,782
I lost someone
I cared about.
131
00:06:31,782 --> 00:06:33,567
Called herself Edith.
132
00:06:33,567 --> 00:06:35,960
Former Golani Brigade.
133
00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:38,049
We were black bagging
terrorist schools
134
00:06:38,049 --> 00:06:40,922
up and down the
north coast of Africa,
135
00:06:40,922 --> 00:06:42,271
goat fuckers are waiting for us
136
00:06:42,271 --> 00:06:43,794
with a 50 calibre
machine gun nest
137
00:06:43,794 --> 00:06:44,926
of Good Morning Vietnam,
138
00:06:44,926 --> 00:06:47,189
if you know what I mean.
139
00:06:47,189 --> 00:06:49,496
Edith strips down naked
and storms in
140
00:06:49,496 --> 00:06:53,369
with nothing but two
hand grenades and a smile.
141
00:06:53,369 --> 00:06:55,589
Still can't eat a latke
without crying.
142
00:06:57,460 --> 00:07:00,768
Uh...
143
00:07:00,768 --> 00:07:02,552
On the house.
144
00:07:09,777 --> 00:07:12,344
It'll be okay.
145
00:07:20,962 --> 00:07:23,704
Carpe diem.
146
00:07:27,534 --> 00:07:29,797
My wife died last night.
147
00:07:29,797 --> 00:07:31,842
I know.
148
00:07:31,842 --> 00:07:34,105
I heard.
149
00:07:34,105 --> 00:07:37,805
Oh, God. Fitz,
I'm so sorry.
150
00:07:37,805 --> 00:07:39,850
Oh, my God.
151
00:07:41,939 --> 00:07:44,551
If there is anything
I can do for you,
152
00:07:44,551 --> 00:07:47,728
anything, you come to me.
153
00:07:47,728 --> 00:07:50,208
Our maintenance apartment
went over this baby
154
00:07:50,208 --> 00:07:53,211
with a fine tooth comb.
155
00:07:53,211 --> 00:07:57,520
Uh, guaranteed 80 point
inspection and a lube job.
156
00:07:59,130 --> 00:08:01,437
I can't believe you.
157
00:08:01,437 --> 00:08:03,483
Feeding off people's goodwill,
158
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:04,875
profiting from Babs' death.
159
00:08:04,875 --> 00:08:06,964
I am not profiting.
160
00:08:06,964 --> 00:08:09,750
Hey, Fitz, I heard
about your loss.
161
00:08:09,750 --> 00:08:11,273
Listen--
162
00:08:11,273 --> 00:08:14,581
If you need anything,
just let me know.
163
00:08:14,581 --> 00:08:17,192
Foot long double cheese
meatball sub,
164
00:08:17,192 --> 00:08:18,541
extra sauce.
165
00:08:18,541 --> 00:08:21,762
Uh, yeah, sure.
166
00:08:24,068 --> 00:08:25,809
It's more like bartering.
167
00:08:25,809 --> 00:08:27,202
People give me stuff
168
00:08:27,202 --> 00:08:29,900
and I let them feel like
they've helped me through
169
00:08:29,900 --> 00:08:32,294
this trying time.
170
00:08:32,294 --> 00:08:33,861
Blended.
171
00:08:34,862 --> 00:08:36,951
You're happy she's dead.
172
00:08:36,951 --> 00:08:38,300
No.
173
00:08:38,300 --> 00:08:39,910
it's just I've been
rolling snake eyes
174
00:08:39,910 --> 00:08:41,869
instead of sevens lately
175
00:08:41,869 --> 00:08:44,654
and now everything's
coming up Fitz.
176
00:08:46,830 --> 00:08:49,137
I've got to take this.
177
00:08:49,137 --> 00:08:51,661
That's English for "fuck off."
178
00:08:51,661 --> 00:08:53,620
No, not you. Who is this?
179
00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:55,317
I see.
180
00:08:55,317 --> 00:08:56,579
How much?
181
00:08:56,579 --> 00:08:58,494
How soon?
182
00:08:58,494 --> 00:09:00,888
I'll be right over.
183
00:09:00,888 --> 00:09:02,280
As your conscience,
184
00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:03,717
I have a right to know
what's going on here.
185
00:09:03,717 --> 00:09:06,067
The bank just informed me
they're ready to transfer
186
00:09:06,067 --> 00:09:10,680
all of my dead wife's accounts
to me, the grieving husband.
187
00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:14,510
A summer wind came blowing in
from across the sea.
188
00:09:14,510 --> 00:09:15,729
No. No, no.
189
00:09:15,729 --> 00:09:17,252
You cannot liquidate
Mrs. Devin's funds
190
00:09:17,252 --> 00:09:18,775
in order to build your mid-level
191
00:09:18,775 --> 00:09:19,907
Vegas strip
knockoff dream lounge.
192
00:09:19,907 --> 00:09:21,212
What about Ali?
193
00:09:21,212 --> 00:09:22,300
How do you think she's going to
feel about this?
194
00:09:22,300 --> 00:09:23,693
I think she made it pretty clear
195
00:09:23,693 --> 00:09:25,477
how she feels about me
last night.
196
00:09:25,477 --> 00:09:26,609
Richard, no.
This is it,
197
00:09:26,609 --> 00:09:28,132
our Rubicon.
198
00:09:28,132 --> 00:09:29,612
I thought it would happen
later and involve fire,
199
00:09:29,612 --> 00:09:30,613
but here it is.
200
00:09:30,613 --> 00:09:32,572
Do not cross this line.
201
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:34,704
Show me there's still an ounce
of decency left in you.
202
00:09:34,704 --> 00:09:36,837
Prove to me that you are
worth saving.
203
00:09:36,837 --> 00:09:38,665
Okay, 1: I don't have to
prove anything to you.
204
00:09:38,665 --> 00:09:40,623
I can cross
any line I want.
205
00:09:40,623 --> 00:09:42,799
And C: I don't even know
what the fuck a rubicon is,
206
00:09:42,799 --> 00:09:44,105
so why should I give a shit?
207
00:09:44,105 --> 00:09:46,716
It involves Caesar
and orgies and bestiality.
208
00:09:46,716 --> 00:09:47,717
I'm in.
209
00:09:47,717 --> 00:09:50,502
Oh, baby.
210
00:09:50,502 --> 00:09:52,156
You're so fucking hot.
211
00:09:52,156 --> 00:09:54,942
Daddy?
212
00:09:54,942 --> 00:09:56,334
No way.
213
00:09:56,334 --> 00:09:57,640
It's money, not toilet paper.
214
00:09:57,640 --> 00:09:59,686
I'm not looking for a handout.
215
00:09:59,686 --> 00:10:01,252
It's a loan.
216
00:10:01,252 --> 00:10:03,603
Yeah? Then tap the deadbeat
that knocked you up.
217
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:05,779
Daddy, I am a single mother now.
218
00:10:05,779 --> 00:10:08,085
I have to show that I'm
a responsible parent.
219
00:10:08,085 --> 00:10:09,696
You want money?
220
00:10:09,696 --> 00:10:11,698
Then earn it like the rest of
the dead weight around here.
221
00:10:11,698 --> 00:10:13,656
Work here?
222
00:10:13,656 --> 00:10:14,788
For you?
223
00:10:14,788 --> 00:10:16,616
What, like slave wages?
224
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:17,921
I don't think so. Forget it.
225
00:10:17,921 --> 00:10:19,706
I don't need your help.
I don't need anybody.
226
00:10:22,317 --> 00:10:25,842
When do I start?
227
00:10:36,418 --> 00:10:39,726
No one should be alone
at a time like this.
228
00:10:43,686 --> 00:10:45,601
Do you need anything?
229
00:10:45,601 --> 00:10:47,124
Someone to talk to,
a shoulder to cry on?
230
00:10:47,124 --> 00:10:49,257
I don't need sympathy.
231
00:10:49,257 --> 00:10:50,650
Oh, how about a sandwich?
232
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:51,868
I can make you a sandwich.
233
00:10:51,868 --> 00:10:54,349
What I need is to dump
my mother in a hole.
234
00:10:54,349 --> 00:10:55,785
I know, I know,
235
00:10:55,785 --> 00:10:59,702
it's illegal, but it's
what she wanted.
236
00:10:59,702 --> 00:11:01,704
Oh.
237
00:11:01,704 --> 00:11:03,401
Well, then what you need
238
00:11:03,401 --> 00:11:05,534
is someone who doesn't just
cross the moral line,
239
00:11:05,534 --> 00:11:08,668
he ignores it completely.
240
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:12,454
Fitz?
241
00:11:12,454 --> 00:11:13,455
Oh, no, no, no.
242
00:11:13,455 --> 00:11:14,630
You're just as insane as he is.
243
00:11:14,630 --> 00:11:16,327
No, wait, wait. He'd be perfect.
244
00:11:16,327 --> 00:11:17,720
I don't need his help.
245
00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:18,982
You do.
246
00:11:18,982 --> 00:11:21,637
You'll never be able to
pull this off alone.
247
00:11:21,637 --> 00:11:24,727
You need to tear down that wall,
248
00:11:24,727 --> 00:11:26,990
the wall you've built
around your heart
249
00:11:26,990 --> 00:11:29,297
to keep people away.
250
00:11:29,297 --> 00:11:34,606
And I'm pretty sure
he's done this before.
251
00:11:34,606 --> 00:11:39,263
Imagine a time when men were men
252
00:11:39,263 --> 00:11:41,222
and women were broads.
253
00:11:41,222 --> 00:11:44,138
When music was performed,
not sampled,
254
00:11:44,138 --> 00:11:47,532
and a drink was a cocktail,
not a crantini.
255
00:11:47,532 --> 00:11:49,404
Well, you don't have to
imagine it any more,
256
00:11:49,404 --> 00:11:51,101
not when you're at--
257
00:11:51,101 --> 00:11:53,103
Hey.
258
00:11:53,103 --> 00:11:55,105
The Summer Wind.
259
00:11:55,105 --> 00:11:57,151
The Summer Wind.
260
00:11:57,151 --> 00:11:58,848
The land has been bought,
261
00:11:58,848 --> 00:12:01,503
the city council
has been bribed.
262
00:12:01,503 --> 00:12:02,896
All I need now is
a couple of investors
263
00:12:02,896 --> 00:12:04,506
to trigger construction.
264
00:12:04,506 --> 00:12:08,205
10k gets you a
private parking space.
265
00:12:08,205 --> 00:12:11,556
25, access to our VIP lounge.
266
00:12:11,556 --> 00:12:13,776
And 50k gets you
all of the above
267
00:12:13,776 --> 00:12:17,649
plus the opportunity to bone
one of our waitresses per year.
268
00:12:17,649 --> 00:12:18,650
What a bargain.
269
00:12:18,650 --> 00:12:19,869
Richard, we have to talk.
270
00:12:19,869 --> 00:12:21,436
Can't you see
I'm with an investor?
271
00:12:21,436 --> 00:12:24,178
I'll give you two some privacy.
272
00:12:24,178 --> 00:12:25,222
Oh, uh--
273
00:12:25,222 --> 00:12:26,746
Listen, it's Ali.
274
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:28,573
She needs help with
Babs' last wishes.
275
00:12:28,573 --> 00:12:30,227
She said that?
276
00:12:30,227 --> 00:12:33,230
No. No, she said that you're
a parasite and insane,
277
00:12:33,230 --> 00:12:34,579
but I sensed something
deeper there.
278
00:12:34,579 --> 00:12:35,711
It was--
279
00:12:35,711 --> 00:12:36,886
Love.
280
00:12:36,886 --> 00:12:38,496
Yes! Yes, I'm sure of it!
281
00:12:38,496 --> 00:12:39,802
No. No, no.
282
00:12:39,802 --> 00:12:41,195
I'm all done with those
Devin women.
283
00:12:41,195 --> 00:12:42,631
They're are a whole
big bag of crazy.
284
00:12:42,631 --> 00:12:44,589
You're only saying that
because you're hurt.
285
00:12:44,589 --> 00:12:46,809
No, I'm saying that because I've
got something better to do now.
286
00:12:46,809 --> 00:12:49,333
Josh, do you want to be
head of security?
287
00:12:49,333 --> 00:12:51,161
Sorry, bro. Nothing personal.
288
00:12:51,161 --> 00:12:53,685
Ow. Hey, hey, no.
289
00:12:53,685 --> 00:12:55,818
I've got money!
290
00:12:55,818 --> 00:12:58,429
No, you have the money
you stole from me.
291
00:12:58,429 --> 00:12:59,430
I didn't steal it,
I invested it.
292
00:12:59,430 --> 00:13:00,562
In my dealership.
293
00:13:00,562 --> 00:13:01,737
Our dealership.
294
00:13:01,737 --> 00:13:03,086
And some other ventures,
295
00:13:03,086 --> 00:13:05,349
not to mention the commissions
I've been making
296
00:13:05,349 --> 00:13:08,222
and some other sources.
297
00:13:08,222 --> 00:13:10,267
Oh.
298
00:13:10,267 --> 00:13:12,487
He's a wizard.
299
00:13:12,487 --> 00:13:13,662
25 grand.
300
00:13:13,662 --> 00:13:14,663
Agreed.
301
00:13:14,663 --> 00:13:15,664
50.
302
00:13:15,664 --> 00:13:16,665
You just said 25.
303
00:13:16,665 --> 00:13:17,535
You agreed too quickly.
304
00:13:17,535 --> 00:13:18,667
Well, then we're partners.
305
00:13:18,667 --> 00:13:20,190
Then you're a
shut-the-fuck-up partner
306
00:13:20,190 --> 00:13:22,192
and you don't get to bone
any of my waitresses.
307
00:13:22,192 --> 00:13:24,978
Deal.
308
00:13:24,978 --> 00:13:26,370
All right, let's go.
309
00:13:26,370 --> 00:13:27,415
My dearly departed
isn't going to bury herself.
310
00:13:27,415 --> 00:13:28,808
Can I be your
apprentice?
311
00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:29,983
I don't need
an apprentice.
312
00:13:29,983 --> 00:13:31,811
Josh!
313
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:35,075
This is nice.
314
00:13:35,075 --> 00:13:36,250
Isn't this nice,
315
00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:38,643
the three of us
working together?
316
00:13:38,643 --> 00:13:40,602
What is the plan to steal
my mother's body?
317
00:13:40,602 --> 00:13:43,474
Don't you think they'll notice
an empty casket?
318
00:13:43,474 --> 00:13:46,086
Ribs are on special today.
319
00:13:46,086 --> 00:13:48,697
9 bucks a pound.
320
00:13:51,569 --> 00:13:53,571
150 lbs of ribs, please.
321
00:13:53,571 --> 00:13:56,357
Extra rare. To go.
322
00:13:56,357 --> 00:13:57,575
Oh, that's--
323
00:13:57,575 --> 00:13:59,447
Ribs? Are you kidding me?
324
00:13:59,447 --> 00:14:00,578
Oh, Richard.
325
00:14:00,578 --> 00:14:01,884
We certainly don't need
more than 110.
326
00:14:01,884 --> 00:14:04,582
Fine. 130 lbs.
327
00:14:04,582 --> 00:14:05,670
Big boned.
328
00:14:05,670 --> 00:14:06,758
Big boned?
329
00:14:06,758 --> 00:14:08,935
This isn't going to work.
330
00:14:08,935 --> 00:14:10,501
Oh, it's going to work.
331
00:14:10,501 --> 00:14:12,677
Hey, and throw a couple of
burgers in there too, would ya?
332
00:14:12,677 --> 00:14:14,462
Sure.
333
00:14:17,552 --> 00:14:20,511
We all share the ups.
334
00:14:20,511 --> 00:14:22,252
Those are the people
who walk onto the lot--
335
00:14:22,252 --> 00:14:23,253
Sh-Sh-sh-sh!
336
00:14:23,253 --> 00:14:24,515
Yowser.
337
00:14:24,515 --> 00:14:25,690
Dibs.
338
00:14:25,690 --> 00:14:27,910
Oh, wait, that's Glen.
Just ignore him.
339
00:14:27,910 --> 00:14:31,174
He acts like a B-bag, but his
low-ball is so unreasonable,
340
00:14:31,174 --> 00:14:32,959
you know he's just
a lousy looksy.
341
00:14:32,959 --> 00:14:35,744
See, that kind of attitude
separates the winners
342
00:14:35,744 --> 00:14:38,181
from the Sonyas.
343
00:14:38,181 --> 00:14:39,443
Wow!
344
00:14:39,443 --> 00:14:41,228
It's the middle of the day
and look at you!
345
00:14:41,228 --> 00:14:42,664
You're looking for a new car.
346
00:14:42,664 --> 00:14:44,796
Most men I know
are looking for work.
347
00:14:44,796 --> 00:14:46,537
You must be rich. Marry me!
348
00:14:47,538 --> 00:14:48,975
I'm kidding.
349
00:14:48,975 --> 00:14:50,585
I'm Meghan Fitzpatrick.
350
00:14:50,585 --> 00:14:52,108
I'm just browsing.
351
00:14:52,108 --> 00:14:53,414
Just Browsing?
352
00:14:53,414 --> 00:14:55,024
What kind of name is that?
Is that Ukrainian?
353
00:14:56,330 --> 00:14:57,505
It's not your name.
354
00:14:57,505 --> 00:14:58,636
You're Glen!
355
00:14:58,636 --> 00:15:00,203
So what are you
looking for today, Glen?
356
00:15:00,203 --> 00:15:01,770
Looking for
a sports car?
357
00:15:01,770 --> 00:15:04,207
All fast and going places?
358
00:15:04,207 --> 00:15:05,643
Glen the adventurer
with his leather jacket
359
00:15:05,643 --> 00:15:07,645
and his whip! Wha-pssh!
360
00:15:07,645 --> 00:15:09,430
No, really,
I'm just browsing.
361
00:15:09,430 --> 00:15:10,518
Okay, okay.
362
00:15:10,518 --> 00:15:12,737
But if you were interested
363
00:15:12,737 --> 00:15:14,739
in getting into something today,
364
00:15:14,739 --> 00:15:18,961
what could I tempt you
with, Glen?
365
00:15:18,961 --> 00:15:21,746
Well, uh, this would
work for me,
366
00:15:21,746 --> 00:15:23,096
but 13,000--
367
00:15:23,096 --> 00:15:24,488
Whoa.
368
00:15:24,488 --> 00:15:27,100
I could probably
afford about 6500.
369
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:30,842
You're hilarious!
370
00:15:30,842 --> 00:15:32,670
We both know you're rich,
371
00:15:32,670 --> 00:15:35,282
so just go to the bank and
get your money and come on back.
372
00:15:35,282 --> 00:15:36,848
This car is now on hold for you.
373
00:15:36,848 --> 00:15:38,111
You don't have to do that.
374
00:15:38,111 --> 00:15:39,460
No, no, no. It's no trouble.
375
00:15:39,460 --> 00:15:42,071
You want this car,
I want you--
376
00:15:42,071 --> 00:15:44,508
in this car.
377
00:15:44,508 --> 00:15:46,510
So this car is now
on hold for you.
378
00:15:46,510 --> 00:15:47,424
For Glen!
379
00:15:47,424 --> 00:15:49,905
Hey, no, no. Nobody come near.
380
00:15:49,905 --> 00:15:51,254
This is Glen's car!
It's on hold!
381
00:15:51,254 --> 00:15:52,342
Nobody even think about it!
382
00:15:53,517 --> 00:15:54,605
I'm kidding.
383
00:15:54,605 --> 00:15:56,129
Go get your money.
384
00:16:02,918 --> 00:16:04,789
I'll give you both
a few minutes.
385
00:16:06,835 --> 00:16:09,620
Take your time.
386
00:16:09,620 --> 00:16:11,535
I still don't believe
this is going to work.
387
00:16:11,535 --> 00:16:13,581
Oh, it's going to work.
388
00:16:32,208 --> 00:16:33,514
Oh, God.
389
00:16:33,514 --> 00:16:35,646
Death smells like Indian food.
390
00:16:49,443 --> 00:16:50,922
Start filling the coffin.
391
00:16:59,496 --> 00:17:01,107
All right, get back
to the dealership
392
00:17:01,107 --> 00:17:02,456
and wait for us there.
393
00:17:02,456 --> 00:17:03,979
When we get back there,
we'll bury the stiff.
394
00:17:03,979 --> 00:17:05,154
Huh?
395
00:17:05,154 --> 00:17:06,851
Respectfully.
396
00:17:15,860 --> 00:17:18,776
Why? Oh, why?
397
00:17:18,776 --> 00:17:20,256
I'll come back--
398
00:17:20,256 --> 00:17:22,041
No, no.
399
00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:23,999
Carry on.
400
00:17:23,999 --> 00:17:27,959
Sometimes a family member
finds closure by activat--
401
00:17:54,421 --> 00:17:56,640
Mrs. Devin, I apologize
for the post-mortem deceit,
402
00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:58,686
but rest assured we're doing
everything in our power
403
00:17:58,686 --> 00:18:01,167
to make sure you get the proper
illegal burial you deserve,
404
00:18:01,167 --> 00:18:04,518
right after I research the cost
of replacing the interior
405
00:18:04,518 --> 00:18:07,173
of this fine quality
sports utility vehicle.
406
00:18:07,173 --> 00:18:09,044
Hey, Josh, make sure you
watch her for me.
407
00:18:09,044 --> 00:18:10,437
I mean, the car for me.
408
00:18:10,437 --> 00:18:12,482
Okay? The car.
409
00:18:12,482 --> 00:18:13,788
For me.
410
00:18:15,964 --> 00:18:17,052
There's Glen's car!
411
00:18:17,052 --> 00:18:19,010
Josh, what's it doing here?
412
00:18:24,712 --> 00:18:27,367
Yeah, I got it, Larry.
413
00:18:27,367 --> 00:18:30,326
I still can't believe
that worked.
414
00:18:30,326 --> 00:18:31,980
Yeah, even I'm impressed,
and I don't impress easily.
415
00:18:33,634 --> 00:18:35,375
Let's just get this over with
so we can get on with our lives.
416
00:18:35,375 --> 00:18:36,854
Larry, what the hell
are you doing out here?
417
00:18:36,854 --> 00:18:38,856
You're supposed to be in
the garage watching Babs's body.
418
00:18:38,856 --> 00:18:40,423
Oh, don't worry.
Josh is watching that car like--
419
00:18:40,423 --> 00:18:42,382
Totally honoured, dude.
420
00:18:44,601 --> 00:18:45,602
Oh.
421
00:18:47,082 --> 00:18:48,475
Oh!
422
00:18:48,475 --> 00:18:50,216
Car's gone.
423
00:18:50,216 --> 00:18:51,304
Yeah, it's gonna work, huh?
424
00:18:51,304 --> 00:18:52,827
It's gonna work?
425
00:18:52,827 --> 00:18:54,350
God, I should've known better
than to trust you.
426
00:18:54,350 --> 00:18:56,613
Oh, you can't blame
Richard for this.
427
00:18:56,613 --> 00:18:58,354
I don't blame Richard,
I blame you.
428
00:18:58,354 --> 00:19:00,313
Yeah, Larry!
429
00:19:00,313 --> 00:19:02,010
This is all your fault!
430
00:19:02,010 --> 00:19:03,054
Yeah, you were the one
who convinced me
431
00:19:03,054 --> 00:19:04,665
to trust him to begin with!
432
00:19:04,665 --> 00:19:07,015
And you're the one who told me
that she asked for my help!
433
00:19:07,015 --> 00:19:08,756
God, you are so stupid.
434
00:19:08,756 --> 00:19:10,540
I have to agree.
435
00:19:10,540 --> 00:19:12,716
You do?
436
00:19:12,716 --> 00:19:15,241
You and Richard are agreeing
about something?
437
00:19:15,241 --> 00:19:16,503
Well, this is a big step.
438
00:19:16,503 --> 00:19:18,157
I am so happy for both of you.
439
00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:19,375
Come here.
440
00:19:19,375 --> 00:19:20,942
Yeah, but we gotta find
that fucking car.
441
00:19:20,942 --> 00:19:21,943
Isn't this great?
442
00:19:21,943 --> 00:19:23,466
I love this car.
443
00:19:23,466 --> 00:19:24,728
Oh, and you know what?
444
00:19:24,728 --> 00:19:25,903
If this were a romantic comedy,
445
00:19:25,903 --> 00:19:29,080
we'd be in the middle of
our "meet cute."
446
00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:30,734
That's what they call the scene
447
00:19:30,734 --> 00:19:32,388
where the couple that falls in
love meets for the first time,
448
00:19:32,388 --> 00:19:34,303
and it's cute.
449
00:19:37,219 --> 00:19:38,264
What's that smell?
450
00:19:38,264 --> 00:19:39,656
What smell?
451
00:19:39,656 --> 00:19:41,267
I don't smell anything.
452
00:19:56,282 --> 00:19:58,153
What is this, some kind of
hazing ritual?
453
00:19:58,153 --> 00:19:59,633
Yeah. Yeah, that's exactly
what it is.
454
00:19:59,633 --> 00:20:00,634
It's a prank.
455
00:20:00,634 --> 00:20:03,376
That's it, a prank.
456
00:20:03,376 --> 00:20:04,725
Uh, sir, I'm Ali Devin,
and you are?
457
00:20:04,725 --> 00:20:06,205
Glen.
458
00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:08,337
Well, Glen, I'm a lawyer
and I can assure you
459
00:20:08,337 --> 00:20:10,905
that this is not
what it looks like.
460
00:20:10,905 --> 00:20:12,733
Looks like you've
stolen a body.
461
00:20:12,733 --> 00:20:13,821
A victimless crime.
462
00:20:13,821 --> 00:20:15,344
You see, Glen,
463
00:20:15,344 --> 00:20:16,650
that's my mother in there.
464
00:20:16,650 --> 00:20:17,825
Babs.
465
00:20:17,825 --> 00:20:19,870
She died recently and--
466
00:20:19,870 --> 00:20:21,220
Well--
467
00:20:23,047 --> 00:20:24,179
She--
468
00:20:24,179 --> 00:20:27,487
She had a dream, Glen!
469
00:20:27,487 --> 00:20:29,184
She wanted to be part of
the solution,
470
00:20:29,184 --> 00:20:30,316
not part of the problem.
471
00:20:30,316 --> 00:20:31,969
Organic burial, Glen.
472
00:20:31,969 --> 00:20:33,319
That's what we're doing here.
Way of the future.
473
00:20:33,319 --> 00:20:34,537
I'm calling the cops.
474
00:20:34,537 --> 00:20:35,886
I'm calling Dad.
475
00:20:35,886 --> 00:20:38,237
Who wants shares in a bar?
476
00:20:39,368 --> 00:20:40,848
What are you doing, Larry?
477
00:20:40,848 --> 00:20:43,285
I'm splitting my stake
in The Summer Wind
478
00:20:43,285 --> 00:20:45,548
with $50,000 to be split
479
00:20:45,548 --> 00:20:48,377
between Meghan and Glen
480
00:20:48,377 --> 00:20:52,468
in exchange for their
compassion?
481
00:20:54,035 --> 00:20:55,602
I hope you run a bar
better than you bury bodies.
482
00:20:55,602 --> 00:20:56,994
Put a cork in it, Glen.
483
00:20:56,994 --> 00:20:59,649
Can I have the cash instead?
484
00:20:59,649 --> 00:21:03,871
All right, where are we going?
485
00:21:03,871 --> 00:21:05,438
Where are we burying her?
486
00:21:05,438 --> 00:21:07,483
I don't know.
Where are we burying her?
487
00:21:07,483 --> 00:21:09,311
Oh, you've got to be
fucking kidding me.
488
00:21:09,311 --> 00:21:11,487
Oh, you were the one who was
planning everything.
489
00:21:11,487 --> 00:21:13,446
How to get her out of
the funeral home.
490
00:21:13,446 --> 00:21:15,317
That was the deal.
491
00:21:17,276 --> 00:21:20,627
Oh, you're right.
492
00:21:20,627 --> 00:21:22,672
You're right.
Now I'm a failure.
493
00:21:22,672 --> 00:21:25,284
I am the worst daughter
who ever lived.
494
00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:26,633
Come on, Richard.
495
00:21:26,633 --> 00:21:28,591
You can think of one place
that fits the bill,
496
00:21:28,591 --> 00:21:31,812
just a nice, safe
plot of land with trees
497
00:21:31,812 --> 00:21:33,901
where Babs can be buried.
498
00:21:36,904 --> 00:21:38,558
Yeah, I might know a place.
499
00:21:38,558 --> 00:21:40,168
Good.
500
00:21:40,168 --> 00:21:41,648
Fuck.
501
00:21:53,573 --> 00:21:55,270
Ashes to ashes.
502
00:21:55,270 --> 00:21:57,272
Dust to dust.
503
00:21:57,272 --> 00:22:00,406
We are gathered here today,
dearly beloved,
504
00:22:00,406 --> 00:22:04,235
in the sight of God
and these good people.
505
00:22:06,412 --> 00:22:08,718
Yay though I walk through the
valley of the shadow of death,
506
00:22:08,718 --> 00:22:13,593
I speak now
or forever hold my peace.
507
00:22:13,593 --> 00:22:17,205
For Babs gives us this day
our daily bread!
508
00:22:17,205 --> 00:22:18,467
Shut up, Larry.
509
00:22:18,467 --> 00:22:21,209
Can I please just have
a moment to myself?
510
00:22:21,209 --> 00:22:24,168
Sorry for your loss.
511
00:22:26,432 --> 00:22:28,303
Mr. Fitzpatrick.
512
00:22:28,303 --> 00:22:30,174
Richard.
513
00:22:30,174 --> 00:22:32,438
Would you mind staying?
514
00:22:32,438 --> 00:22:33,743
I'd like you to hear this.
515
00:22:33,743 --> 00:22:35,310
Sure.
516
00:22:41,403 --> 00:22:42,317
There you go, Mom.
517
00:22:42,317 --> 00:22:45,364
Just like you always wanted.
518
00:22:47,583 --> 00:22:49,193
I know this doesn't make up
for all the grief
519
00:22:49,193 --> 00:22:50,456
that I caused you as a kid.
520
00:22:50,456 --> 00:22:54,503
The binge drinking,
the rampant promiscuity,
521
00:22:54,503 --> 00:22:55,809
the abortion--
522
00:22:55,809 --> 00:22:57,724
Well, abortions.
523
00:22:57,724 --> 00:23:01,075
I wish that I could have been
a better daughter to you.
524
00:23:01,075 --> 00:23:03,164
I'm just going to wait
in the car.
525
00:23:03,164 --> 00:23:06,210
And I wish that
you could have been
526
00:23:06,210 --> 00:23:09,039
a better mother to me.
527
00:23:10,301 --> 00:23:13,740
But why drudge up the past?
528
00:23:13,740 --> 00:23:17,352
I hope that now that you're dead
529
00:23:17,352 --> 00:23:21,051
we can finally be friends.
530
00:23:24,925 --> 00:23:29,190
Well, here is something
I never thought I'd say to you.
531
00:23:29,190 --> 00:23:30,844
Thank you.
532
00:23:30,844 --> 00:23:32,802
For what?
533
00:23:32,802 --> 00:23:36,153
For this.
534
00:23:36,153 --> 00:23:38,199
Yeah, well--
535
00:23:38,199 --> 00:23:40,941
What are stepfathers for?
536
00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:49,340
Oh! Oh, Daddy!
537
00:23:49,340 --> 00:23:50,820
Oh, Daddy!
538
00:23:50,820 --> 00:23:54,084
Oh, fuck me, Stepdaddy!
539
00:23:57,000 --> 00:24:00,482
Well, that's one way
to spend a Saturday.
540
00:24:00,482 --> 00:24:02,179
Oh, you better not be
having second thoughts,
541
00:24:02,179 --> 00:24:06,227
or this will be a total
he-said she-said.
542
00:24:06,227 --> 00:24:08,925
I'm okay with this.
543
00:24:08,925 --> 00:24:12,276
You know, I actually
feel kind of--
544
00:24:12,276 --> 00:24:13,582
Good.
545
00:24:13,582 --> 00:24:17,064
I mean, that woman
influenced my entire life,
546
00:24:17,064 --> 00:24:20,197
and now that she's gone
I can finally be myself.
547
00:24:20,197 --> 00:24:22,286
Huh.
548
00:24:22,286 --> 00:24:23,679
And who is Ali Devin?
549
00:24:23,679 --> 00:24:26,595
I don't know.
550
00:24:26,595 --> 00:24:30,294
That's what's so exciting.
551
00:24:30,294 --> 00:24:31,600
A crap lawyer.
552
00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:34,037
Maybe a street juggler
553
00:24:34,037 --> 00:24:37,345
or an investor in a lounge...
554
00:24:37,345 --> 00:24:39,913
50 grand, you're in.
555
00:24:39,913 --> 00:24:42,872
I was thinking more
along the lines of
556
00:24:42,872 --> 00:24:46,093
a full partnership.
557
00:24:46,093 --> 00:24:48,095
Oh.
558
00:24:49,270 --> 00:24:52,969
No. Nothing personal.
559
00:24:52,969 --> 00:24:54,275
Oh.
560
00:24:54,275 --> 00:24:56,320
Are you--
561
00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:59,367
Sure?
562
00:24:59,367 --> 00:25:01,195
I guess everything's
negotiable.
563
00:25:03,589 --> 00:25:07,027
My mother was many things,
564
00:25:07,027 --> 00:25:11,684
but irresponsible with her money
wasn't one of them.
565
00:25:11,684 --> 00:25:13,903
She's got more cash
squirreled away.
566
00:25:13,903 --> 00:25:16,863
I know.
567
00:25:16,863 --> 00:25:19,126
How do you think I paid
for this piece of land?
568
00:25:22,129 --> 00:25:23,304
You're going to build here?
569
00:25:23,304 --> 00:25:25,741
Yeah.
570
00:25:25,741 --> 00:25:29,223
Where we just
buried my mother?
571
00:25:29,223 --> 00:25:32,095
With my inheritance?
572
00:25:32,095 --> 00:25:34,315
Ali, nails. Nails.
573
00:25:34,315 --> 00:25:35,577
Nai--
574
00:25:35,577 --> 00:25:37,318
Oh!
575
00:25:37,318 --> 00:25:39,625
God! Wait, wait.
576
00:25:43,106 --> 00:25:44,238
Oh, come on.
577
00:25:44,238 --> 00:25:46,022
I'm not going to pave over her.
578
00:25:46,022 --> 00:25:47,633
I'll put the tree
in the centre of a roundabout.
579
00:25:48,634 --> 00:25:50,374
What's so funny?
580
00:25:50,374 --> 00:25:52,202
I'm just thinking about
all the grief
581
00:25:52,202 --> 00:25:53,726
I could have saved myself
582
00:25:53,726 --> 00:25:55,379
if I'd just fucked you
in the first place.
583
00:25:55,379 --> 00:25:57,120
Maybe then I wouldn't be
standing out here
584
00:25:57,120 --> 00:25:59,688
right now wondering how
I'm going to get back into town,
585
00:25:59,688 --> 00:26:00,994
where I'm going to get
a morning after pill from.
586
00:26:00,994 --> 00:26:02,648
Wait a minute.
587
00:26:02,648 --> 00:26:03,997
Unbelievable.
588
00:26:03,997 --> 00:26:05,564
Oh, what?
589
00:26:05,564 --> 00:26:07,217
What do you want, some guy
who's going to lie to you
590
00:26:07,217 --> 00:26:09,089
and tell you you look good
when your ass is too fat?
591
00:26:09,089 --> 00:26:12,179
Some clown who'll go antiquing
with you all weekend
592
00:26:12,179 --> 00:26:14,529
just because you gave him
a hand job in the shower?
593
00:26:14,529 --> 00:26:17,663
Some sham who'll listen to you
drone on about your feelings,
594
00:26:17,663 --> 00:26:19,665
your new direction in life?
595
00:26:21,101 --> 00:26:22,798
Yes. Yes, I do.
596
00:26:27,150 --> 00:26:29,065
Chester, it's Ali.
597
00:26:29,065 --> 00:26:31,198
Hey, could you come pick me up?
598
00:26:31,198 --> 00:26:33,243
I'm on Industry Road.
599
00:26:33,243 --> 00:26:34,767
How did I get here?
600
00:26:34,767 --> 00:26:38,205
Uh, that's a long story.
601
00:26:38,205 --> 00:26:39,728
See you soon.
602
00:26:42,165 --> 00:26:44,777
If you leave now, Ali,
you'll never change.
603
00:26:44,777 --> 00:26:47,997
You'll still be that same
scared little girl
604
00:26:47,997 --> 00:26:50,304
cowering to your mother's
every whim.
605
00:26:56,049 --> 00:26:57,137
Enjoy it.
606
00:26:57,137 --> 00:26:59,139
It's your last one.
607
00:27:18,245 --> 00:27:21,161
What?
41416
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