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1
00:00:40,127 --> 00:00:42,520
Fitzpatricks are not
a sentimental people.
2
00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:43,826
Looking good!
3
00:00:43,826 --> 00:00:46,524
Tradition, surprises,
fuck that!
4
00:00:46,524 --> 00:00:48,352
I've never given a crap
about birthdays,
5
00:00:48,352 --> 00:00:51,660
and I'm sure as shit not going
to change up my routine now.
6
00:00:51,660 --> 00:00:53,575
Oh, yeah!
7
00:00:53,575 --> 00:00:56,882
And I don't appreciate anyone
else changing it either.
8
00:00:56,882 --> 00:00:58,145
Richard, we're just about ready
to go--
9
00:00:58,145 --> 00:00:59,233
Oh, dear God!
10
00:00:59,233 --> 00:01:01,235
Oh, fuck,
don't you knock?
11
00:01:01,235 --> 00:01:02,975
How could you?
On such a special day?
12
00:01:02,975 --> 00:01:04,151
It's the old man's birthday!
13
00:01:04,151 --> 00:01:05,152
It's not a fucking moon landing!
14
00:01:05,152 --> 00:01:08,503
Okay, Richard, from now on,
15
00:01:08,503 --> 00:01:11,767
we're celebrating milestones
with meaning, huh?
16
00:01:11,767 --> 00:01:13,464
And gifts!
17
00:01:13,464 --> 00:01:14,944
Last chance to get in
on the present!
18
00:01:14,944 --> 00:01:16,815
Not if my fucking life
depended on it!
19
00:01:16,815 --> 00:01:19,862
I'll take that
as a maybe.
20
00:01:22,604 --> 00:01:24,345
Mr. Fitzpatrick,
I need to see you in--
21
00:01:24,345 --> 00:01:25,389
Oh, my God!
22
00:01:25,389 --> 00:01:26,608
Don't you knock?
23
00:01:35,182 --> 00:01:37,140
We wanted to do something
a little extra special
24
00:01:37,140 --> 00:01:38,837
for the big 63, Mr. F.
25
00:01:38,837 --> 00:01:42,493
So get ready for cake,
champagne and presents!
26
00:01:43,625 --> 00:01:45,017
This should be good.
27
00:01:45,017 --> 00:01:48,151
Um, happy birthday.
28
00:01:48,151 --> 00:01:49,544
Did you get him anything?
29
00:01:49,544 --> 00:01:51,154
No.
30
00:01:51,154 --> 00:01:52,721
Wait, why, did you?
31
00:01:52,721 --> 00:01:54,070
What, me?
32
00:01:54,070 --> 00:01:55,506
No!
33
00:01:55,506 --> 00:01:57,726
Not really!
34
00:01:57,726 --> 00:01:58,814
Ha, ha, ha!
35
00:01:58,814 --> 00:02:00,642
You got that right,
sweet cheeks!
36
00:02:00,642 --> 00:02:02,078
Come here.
37
00:02:02,078 --> 00:02:05,125
Oh!
38
00:02:09,694 --> 00:02:11,174
So, we done here?
39
00:02:11,174 --> 00:02:12,654
We're having fun!
40
00:02:12,654 --> 00:02:14,743
Now we know
how stressful it is
41
00:02:14,743 --> 00:02:16,527
to manage us
all the time, right?
42
00:02:16,527 --> 00:02:18,268
Always being the top dog, so--
43
00:02:18,268 --> 00:02:21,576
And since we can't add years
to your life,
44
00:02:21,576 --> 00:02:23,882
we're adding life to your--
45
00:02:23,882 --> 00:02:25,971
to your years!
46
00:02:29,584 --> 00:02:31,716
Total Life Spa.
47
00:02:31,716 --> 00:02:33,196
It's whole day of pampering.
48
00:02:33,196 --> 00:02:35,677
They give you mud baths,
and massages and even facials.
49
00:02:35,677 --> 00:02:37,157
And you know what
the best part is?
50
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:38,897
I'm coming with!
51
00:02:38,897 --> 00:02:40,943
Oh, what a crock!
52
00:02:40,943 --> 00:02:42,510
What?
53
00:02:42,510 --> 00:02:44,338
You don't think
I deserve it?
54
00:02:44,338 --> 00:02:46,949
Thanks, douchebag.
55
00:02:46,949 --> 00:02:48,472
You too, Larry.
56
00:02:48,472 --> 00:02:49,821
Oh, uh, speech!
57
00:02:49,821 --> 00:02:52,737
Speech, speech!
58
00:02:52,737 --> 00:02:56,480
Look, I never saw the point
of all this birthday nonsense.
59
00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:59,483
But today, I realized
it's a great way
60
00:02:59,483 --> 00:03:01,137
to measure how people
worship your ass.
61
00:03:01,137 --> 00:03:02,138
Ha!
62
00:03:02,138 --> 00:03:03,661
Your turn, stupid.
63
00:03:03,661 --> 00:03:05,489
What did my one and only son
get me and my honour?
64
00:03:05,489 --> 00:03:07,230
Oh, come on!
65
00:03:07,230 --> 00:03:08,623
You know Megan had nothing
to do with that!
66
00:03:08,623 --> 00:03:10,712
That fruity gift
is all Larry!
67
00:03:10,712 --> 00:03:12,496
Jealous!
68
00:03:12,496 --> 00:03:15,847
Nothing, figures.
69
00:03:15,847 --> 00:03:17,501
Of course
I got you something.
70
00:03:17,501 --> 00:03:19,590
It's just, uh,
it's not here yet.
71
00:03:19,590 --> 00:03:21,679
But it's one of a kind.
72
00:03:21,679 --> 00:03:23,072
It's amazing!
73
00:03:23,072 --> 00:03:25,509
It's way better than some
dumb-ass spa experience!
74
00:03:25,509 --> 00:03:28,469
Spa your face, asshole!
75
00:03:28,469 --> 00:03:32,560
Where's my fucking bubbly?
76
00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:35,476
Uh!
77
00:03:35,476 --> 00:03:39,828
None for him.
78
00:03:48,793 --> 00:03:52,275
♪ Without you
79
00:03:52,275 --> 00:03:54,930
♪ I'd find my smile
80
00:03:54,930 --> 00:03:57,498
♪ Without you
81
00:03:57,498 --> 00:04:00,283
♪ I'd have won by a mile
82
00:04:00,283 --> 00:04:02,590
♪ Without you
83
00:04:02,590 --> 00:04:06,420
♪ Oh, life could be so grand
84
00:04:06,420 --> 00:04:08,335
♪ Without you
85
00:04:08,335 --> 00:04:11,947
♪ I'm half a man
86
00:04:11,947 --> 00:04:25,700
♪ Without you
87
00:04:39,801 --> 00:04:41,193
Show's over, scram.
88
00:04:41,193 --> 00:04:45,067
Don't you see
what's happening here?
89
00:04:45,067 --> 00:04:48,636
This emotion, this frisson
of beautiful anguish.
90
00:04:48,636 --> 00:04:49,637
It's the--
91
00:04:49,637 --> 00:04:51,291
Hey!
92
00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:53,510
Oh, I don't think my arm
is supposed to bend that way!
93
00:04:53,510 --> 00:04:55,338
First you interrupt
my morning jizz,
94
00:04:55,338 --> 00:04:56,905
then you show me up
in front of the old man?
95
00:04:56,905 --> 00:04:59,211
Richard, you're acting out
because you're feeling guilty.
96
00:04:59,211 --> 00:05:01,039
Okay, you want
your father's approval,
97
00:05:01,039 --> 00:05:02,432
but you don't know how
to get it.
98
00:05:02,432 --> 00:05:03,738
And that makes you mad,
and that makes you angry!
99
00:05:03,738 --> 00:05:05,783
Ugh, and violent,
and I don't think--
100
00:05:05,783 --> 00:05:07,611
I can't breathe right now!
101
00:05:07,611 --> 00:05:08,699
Ugh!
102
00:05:08,699 --> 00:05:10,179
You crazy fuck!
103
00:05:10,179 --> 00:05:12,964
Now I've got to waste
a fortune on that old bastard!
104
00:05:12,964 --> 00:05:15,315
No, Richard, you don't have
to spend a fortune at all.
105
00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:17,752
You know, the best gifts
are often homemade.
106
00:05:17,752 --> 00:05:20,537
Just something to remind Ken
of all the beautiful moments
107
00:05:20,537 --> 00:05:21,973
you've shared as father and son.
108
00:05:21,973 --> 00:05:24,585
The only thing
that sick fuck and I
109
00:05:24,585 --> 00:05:26,674
ever had in common was porn.
110
00:05:26,674 --> 00:05:28,589
And cars, but mostly porn.
111
00:05:28,589 --> 00:05:29,894
Ah.
112
00:05:29,894 --> 00:05:31,635
Wait a minute.
113
00:05:31,635 --> 00:05:33,942
That's not a bad idea.
114
00:05:33,942 --> 00:05:35,683
Who's the one person
in this world
115
00:05:35,683 --> 00:05:37,728
that the old man loves more
than anyone else?
116
00:05:37,728 --> 00:05:41,645
Oh, I think Ken loves you as
much as Megan but--
117
00:05:41,645 --> 00:05:43,517
No, no, I'm talking
about stripper
118
00:05:43,517 --> 00:05:45,693
and former porn actress
Candy Box!
119
00:05:45,693 --> 00:05:46,868
She never fails
to get him off,
120
00:05:46,868 --> 00:05:49,044
and at his age
that's saying something.
121
00:05:49,044 --> 00:05:50,654
Uh, Richard?
122
00:05:50,654 --> 00:05:54,658
You're not going to buy
your father a night of sex?
123
00:05:54,658 --> 00:05:56,443
No, he's far too lazy
and selfish
124
00:05:56,443 --> 00:05:58,053
to spend a night
in Candy's actual box.
125
00:05:58,053 --> 00:06:01,709
I'm talking about making him
a custom porno starring Candy,
126
00:06:01,709 --> 00:06:05,277
and featuring all
of his favourite shit.
127
00:06:05,277 --> 00:06:07,541
It's the gift
that keeps on coming!
128
00:06:07,541 --> 00:06:09,978
Uh, that's not what
I had in mind!
129
00:06:09,978 --> 00:06:12,197
No, no, that's the opposite
of what I had in mind.
130
00:06:12,197 --> 00:06:14,678
Ring-a-ding-ding, baby!
131
00:06:14,678 --> 00:06:17,551
Ring-a-ding-ding!
132
00:06:17,551 --> 00:06:18,726
Mmm!
133
00:06:18,726 --> 00:06:20,162
Yeah.
134
00:06:20,162 --> 00:06:22,077
All right,
we'll shoot it here
135
00:06:22,077 --> 00:06:23,992
when Megan takes the old man
for his gay spa day.
136
00:06:23,992 --> 00:06:25,254
Make it a surprise.
137
00:06:25,254 --> 00:06:26,777
Hey, can I shoot it?
138
00:06:26,777 --> 00:06:28,170
My C.O. said that my recon
footage in Kabul made him cry.
139
00:06:28,170 --> 00:06:29,563
It was either that,
or the exploding livestock.
140
00:06:29,563 --> 00:06:30,694
He was a vegetarian--
141
00:06:30,694 --> 00:06:32,174
I've got a great idea
for the opening.
142
00:06:32,174 --> 00:06:33,523
Candy comes in,
143
00:06:33,523 --> 00:06:35,264
and asks the young stud
to rotate her tires.
144
00:06:35,264 --> 00:06:37,701
But what she really means
is her boobs.
145
00:06:37,701 --> 00:06:38,702
Nice,
'cause they're both round,
146
00:06:38,702 --> 00:06:39,834
I get it.
147
00:06:39,834 --> 00:06:40,922
Yeah, yeah.
148
00:06:40,922 --> 00:06:42,140
All right,
now over there,
149
00:06:42,140 --> 00:06:43,359
I'm seeing pictures
of baseball stars.
150
00:06:43,359 --> 00:06:45,274
Clemens, Jeter,
but no one really black,
151
00:06:45,274 --> 00:06:46,667
'cause that's way
too threatening.
152
00:06:46,667 --> 00:06:48,146
And Ken shares the birthdays
153
00:06:48,146 --> 00:06:50,105
of Captain Kangaroo
and Helen Keller.
154
00:06:50,105 --> 00:06:51,715
Let's get photos of them too.
155
00:06:51,715 --> 00:06:52,847
Nice, that's hot.
156
00:06:52,847 --> 00:06:54,326
Yeah, and a car.
157
00:06:54,326 --> 00:06:55,806
A car that Ken
would really like,
158
00:06:55,806 --> 00:06:57,895
like that '74 Corvette.
159
00:06:57,895 --> 00:07:02,900
That's where the actual
boning'll take place.
160
00:07:02,900 --> 00:07:05,512
You know, dude.
161
00:07:05,512 --> 00:07:09,472
That's going to be
fucking beautiful, man.
162
00:07:09,472 --> 00:07:11,518
Oh, go fuck yourself.
163
00:07:30,667 --> 00:07:32,495
Interloper!
164
00:07:32,495 --> 00:07:33,627
Caught red-handed.
165
00:07:33,627 --> 00:07:35,498
Who's your operator?
166
00:07:35,498 --> 00:07:36,630
Tell us, come on!
167
00:07:36,630 --> 00:07:38,501
Are you working
for Richard Fitzpatrick?
168
00:07:38,501 --> 00:07:39,546
I would never work
169
00:07:39,546 --> 00:07:40,895
for that lowlife
murdering snake!
170
00:07:40,895 --> 00:07:43,506
What do you mean, murdering?
171
00:07:43,506 --> 00:07:45,508
He got away
with attempted murder,
172
00:07:45,508 --> 00:07:47,379
and I'm going to make him pay.
173
00:07:47,379 --> 00:07:49,338
Babs Devin may be
just one lone victim
174
00:07:49,338 --> 00:07:50,600
of the patriarchal system,
175
00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:52,167
but through her
I will strike a blow
176
00:07:52,167 --> 00:07:54,212
against phallocentric
injustice everywhere!
177
00:07:54,212 --> 00:07:55,910
Is the enemy of our enemy
our enemy,
178
00:07:55,910 --> 00:07:57,868
or is the enemy of our enemy
our friend,
179
00:07:57,868 --> 00:07:59,217
and our enemy's enemy?
180
00:07:59,217 --> 00:08:00,784
- Hmm?
- Come again?
181
00:08:00,784 --> 00:08:03,178
It's more poetic
in original Pashto.
182
00:08:03,178 --> 00:08:04,179
You're pathetic.
183
00:08:04,179 --> 00:08:05,180
NO, listen to me.
184
00:08:05,180 --> 00:08:06,355
We are hard-working,
185
00:08:06,355 --> 00:08:08,226
success-oriented
car dealers, huh?
186
00:08:08,226 --> 00:08:09,967
Who happen to share
your dislike
187
00:08:09,967 --> 00:08:11,447
for the one who calls himself
"The Fitz."
188
00:08:11,447 --> 00:08:16,017
Let us tag-team you,
and defeat him as a three-way!
189
00:08:16,017 --> 00:08:17,584
Even as I said this,
I knew it was wrong.
190
00:08:17,584 --> 00:08:19,020
He must be stopped, huh?
191
00:08:19,020 --> 00:08:20,412
All this tampering
with the merchandise.
192
00:08:20,412 --> 00:08:21,675
Yeah, truly.
193
00:08:21,675 --> 00:08:22,719
Who sells a car for $69?
194
00:08:22,719 --> 00:08:23,807
No can do.
195
00:08:23,807 --> 00:08:26,897
I already have a guy
on the inside.
196
00:08:26,897 --> 00:08:29,117
So, eat me.
197
00:08:36,733 --> 00:08:37,952
Mmm!
198
00:08:37,952 --> 00:08:39,693
Richard,
we need to discuss
199
00:08:39,693 --> 00:08:41,564
this pornographic film
you are proposing.
200
00:08:41,564 --> 00:08:42,913
Get lost, numb-nuts.
201
00:08:42,913 --> 00:08:45,612
Even if you convince Miss Box
to do your film,
202
00:08:45,612 --> 00:08:47,135
Richard, I read the script,
and frankly,
203
00:08:47,135 --> 00:08:48,702
I've got some problems
with it.
204
00:08:48,702 --> 00:08:50,704
Okay, it's crude, misogynistic,
205
00:08:50,704 --> 00:08:52,227
and the story makes no sense.
206
00:08:52,227 --> 00:08:53,750
I mean, who calls a plumber
207
00:08:53,750 --> 00:08:56,536
and then doesn't have the money
to pay for his services?
208
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:57,754
Okay, look, you're the one
who convinced me to do something
209
00:08:57,754 --> 00:08:59,190
to show the old man
that I care, okay?
210
00:08:59,190 --> 00:09:01,584
And like it or not,
in Fitz-speak,
211
00:09:01,584 --> 00:09:04,195
nothing says "I love you"
like homemade porn.
212
00:09:04,195 --> 00:09:07,155
Well, I can't deny
you're putting
213
00:09:07,155 --> 00:09:08,678
an awful lot of thought
into this.
214
00:09:08,678 --> 00:09:11,420
I was up all night writing
and working on my shot list.
215
00:09:11,420 --> 00:09:13,378
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
216
00:09:13,378 --> 00:09:14,554
Well, it is something
Ken might like.
217
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,207
Oh, yeah!
218
00:09:16,207 --> 00:09:19,254
And my intentions are good,
and that's all that counts.
219
00:09:27,131 --> 00:09:30,613
Oh, yeah!
220
00:09:30,613 --> 00:09:33,660
God!
221
00:09:33,660 --> 00:09:35,444
Richard Fitzpatrick?
222
00:09:35,444 --> 00:09:36,532
Call me Fitz.
223
00:09:36,532 --> 00:09:37,794
Business before pleasure.
224
00:09:37,794 --> 00:09:40,797
If I had a dime for every time
I heard that.
225
00:09:40,797 --> 00:09:43,408
Yeah, here you go,
as discussed.
226
00:09:43,408 --> 00:09:44,453
Where'd you get that?
227
00:09:44,453 --> 00:09:45,802
Let's just say
your horse came in,
228
00:09:45,802 --> 00:09:47,891
which is a good thing
'cause I sold your car.
229
00:09:47,891 --> 00:09:48,979
You did what?
230
00:09:48,979 --> 00:09:49,980
So, we making a movie?
231
00:09:49,980 --> 00:09:50,981
Action!
232
00:09:50,981 --> 00:09:54,898
Hells yeah.
233
00:09:54,898 --> 00:09:57,814
So, Dick Fitz
is a great porn name.
234
00:09:57,814 --> 00:09:59,207
We ever worked together
before, honey?
235
00:09:59,207 --> 00:10:01,644
Oh, I'm sure I would have
remembered that!
236
00:10:01,644 --> 00:10:03,037
Who are you?
237
00:10:03,037 --> 00:10:05,561
Oh, uh, I'm Larry,
Miss Box.
238
00:10:05,561 --> 00:10:08,042
And may I just say,
I loved your work
239
00:10:08,042 --> 00:10:11,045
in The Curious Case
of Benjamin's Butthole
240
00:10:11,045 --> 00:10:12,916
and Mighty Dicks 6.
241
00:10:12,916 --> 00:10:14,831
You saw those?
242
00:10:14,831 --> 00:10:16,703
Well, you did,
so technically I saw them too.
243
00:10:16,703 --> 00:10:17,921
You see, Richard and I
244
00:10:17,921 --> 00:10:18,966
have a very complicated relationship.
245
00:10:18,966 --> 00:10:20,445
I'm sort of here to help him--
246
00:10:20,445 --> 00:10:21,664
By leaving!
247
00:10:21,664 --> 00:10:22,665
Get out of here, Larry!
248
00:10:22,665 --> 00:10:23,797
If you leave right now,
249
00:10:23,797 --> 00:10:24,711
I'll make you
an assistant producer.
250
00:10:24,711 --> 00:10:25,929
I am an investor!
251
00:10:25,929 --> 00:10:27,148
Fine, associate producer!
252
00:10:27,148 --> 00:10:28,149
Now get the fuck out of here!
253
00:10:28,149 --> 00:10:29,846
Nice to meet you,
Miss Box!
254
00:10:29,846 --> 00:10:31,500
I look forward
to working with you!
255
00:10:31,500 --> 00:10:34,590
You're very pretty!
256
00:10:34,590 --> 00:10:36,636
Mr. Associate Producer.
257
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,594
Good evening,
Mr. Associate Producer!
258
00:10:38,594 --> 00:10:41,641
I'll show you
to your seat now!
259
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,657
Oh, fuck!
260
00:11:07,797 --> 00:11:09,320
Find me a co-star yet?
261
00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:10,670
See, I've been thinking, Fitzy.
262
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,454
I mean, is this
all really legal?
263
00:11:12,454 --> 00:11:14,891
You know, after hours,
non-union, animals and shit?
264
00:11:14,891 --> 00:11:16,545
Since when do you
give a shit about legal?
265
00:11:16,545 --> 00:11:17,981
Sorry I'm late!
266
00:11:17,981 --> 00:11:20,375
First day of pre-production,
so exciting!
267
00:11:20,375 --> 00:11:23,204
This is going to be the best
erotic vanity film ever!
268
00:11:23,204 --> 00:11:24,422
Can I get a what-what?
269
00:11:24,422 --> 00:11:25,510
Ball shot!
270
00:11:25,510 --> 00:11:27,251
These just arrived.
271
00:11:27,251 --> 00:11:28,383
Normally, I would be offended,
272
00:11:28,383 --> 00:11:29,950
but a real woman
owns her sexuality
273
00:11:29,950 --> 00:11:33,605
and doesn't judge
the erotic tastes of others.
274
00:11:33,605 --> 00:11:34,868
But that one is gross.
275
00:11:34,868 --> 00:11:39,873
Oh, would you put that
in my office?
276
00:11:39,873 --> 00:11:42,789
You got it.
277
00:11:42,789 --> 00:11:44,442
Gentlemen!
278
00:11:44,442 --> 00:11:45,879
Right over here
is where the real action
279
00:11:45,879 --> 00:11:47,576
is going to take place.
280
00:11:47,576 --> 00:11:51,014
Candy will be waxing
the yellow '74 Corvette.
281
00:11:51,014 --> 00:11:53,756
She'll do a little
Marilyn Monroe.
282
00:11:53,756 --> 00:11:57,804
"Happy birthday, Mr. President,"
and then--
283
00:11:57,804 --> 00:11:59,675
Yes!
284
00:11:59,675 --> 00:12:02,678
I read the script last night,
and I made a couple of tweaks.
285
00:12:08,771 --> 00:12:10,077
For the Love of Ken?
286
00:12:10,077 --> 00:12:11,078
Yes!
287
00:12:11,078 --> 00:12:12,079
What the fuck is this?
288
00:12:12,079 --> 00:12:13,428
What, you don't like it?
289
00:12:13,428 --> 00:12:15,735
It's supposed to be called
Trans-fuckers!
290
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:17,693
Like that car movie?
291
00:12:17,693 --> 00:12:19,129
Yeah, with the robots.
292
00:12:19,129 --> 00:12:20,957
Yeah, that was funny!
293
00:12:20,957 --> 00:12:22,742
With their--
294
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:24,134
Yeah, okay, there were
a couple of robots in it.
295
00:12:24,134 --> 00:12:25,309
No, no, I just thought--
296
00:12:25,309 --> 00:12:26,746
No one cares
what you think, Larry!
297
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:28,965
Now get the fuck out of here
before you curse my set
298
00:12:28,965 --> 00:12:32,012
with your total unfuckability!
299
00:12:37,974 --> 00:12:40,542
This is so relaxing.
300
00:12:40,542 --> 00:12:42,413
Isn't this relaxing, Dad?
301
00:12:42,413 --> 00:12:44,589
I think it's incredibly relaxing.
302
00:12:44,589 --> 00:12:47,070
I haven't been this relaxed
in, I don't even know, years?
303
00:12:47,070 --> 00:12:50,247
I can just feel the toxins
that have been building up
304
00:12:50,247 --> 00:12:53,860
since Saul left oozing away.
305
00:12:53,860 --> 00:12:56,645
You know, Daddy,
you could never do anything
306
00:12:56,645 --> 00:12:57,907
like this with Richard.
307
00:12:57,907 --> 00:12:59,822
This is a special moment
between you and me!
308
00:13:01,824 --> 00:13:04,435
Okay, you can, uh,
do me now.
309
00:13:04,435 --> 00:13:07,482
Do me now!
310
00:13:13,096 --> 00:13:16,360
When do I get
my happy ending?
311
00:13:19,494 --> 00:13:21,496
No, no, no, no!
312
00:13:21,496 --> 00:13:22,932
What the hell is this?
313
00:13:22,932 --> 00:13:24,804
Huh?
314
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:26,196
Where's my yellow Corvette?
315
00:13:26,196 --> 00:13:28,808
Is it too much to ask, really?
316
00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:31,593
A man has a vision
of a yellow Corvette.
317
00:13:31,593 --> 00:13:34,639
He's promised
a yellow Corvette!
318
00:13:34,639 --> 00:13:38,730
And Goddamn it,
I want my yellow Corvette!
319
00:13:38,730 --> 00:13:40,384
Larry said it didn't really
matter what kind of car we used.
320
00:13:40,384 --> 00:13:41,733
You said this?
321
00:13:41,733 --> 00:13:43,039
Well, it's just a car, Richard.
322
00:13:43,039 --> 00:13:44,258
An inanimate object.
323
00:13:44,258 --> 00:13:45,650
What's important is that
you're learning
324
00:13:45,650 --> 00:13:47,174
to express your feelings
for your father,
325
00:13:47,174 --> 00:13:48,175
focusing on the human--
326
00:13:48,175 --> 00:13:49,959
What's important
is that my gift
327
00:13:49,959 --> 00:13:51,787
blows Megan's gift out
of the water!
328
00:13:51,787 --> 00:13:53,484
Candy's here!
329
00:13:53,484 --> 00:13:57,706
Oh, finally,
a professional.
330
00:14:05,627 --> 00:14:07,237
Miss Fox--
331
00:14:07,237 --> 00:14:10,719
Hey, hey, come back here
and get your toy!
332
00:14:10,719 --> 00:14:12,460
I am not your maid!
333
00:14:12,460 --> 00:14:13,722
Sorry I'm late.
334
00:14:13,722 --> 00:14:15,332
Midget wrangler
go AWOL?
335
00:14:15,332 --> 00:14:16,899
Now, the wench
who waxes my hoo-ha
336
00:14:16,899 --> 00:14:18,205
is a crazy perfectionist
337
00:14:18,205 --> 00:14:19,510
and she didn't have time
to finish,
338
00:14:19,510 --> 00:14:20,511
so you're only going
to be able to shoot me
339
00:14:20,511 --> 00:14:21,686
from the left side.
340
00:14:21,686 --> 00:14:24,124
Huh.
341
00:14:26,561 --> 00:14:28,955
All right,
let's shoot this thang!
342
00:14:40,314 --> 00:14:41,881
Sorry about this shit box.
343
00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:43,360
It was supposed to be
a Corvette.
344
00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:44,753
Yeah, there was a bit
of a mix-up, I admit.
345
00:14:44,753 --> 00:14:46,494
But I think that this colour
346
00:14:46,494 --> 00:14:50,106
brings out the flecks of gold
in your eyes.
347
00:14:50,106 --> 00:14:51,542
Trust me, boys.
348
00:14:51,542 --> 00:14:52,848
Once I get busy,
349
00:14:52,848 --> 00:14:54,719
ain't nobody going to be
worrying about my eyes.
350
00:14:54,719 --> 00:14:57,026
Where's my wood?
351
00:14:57,026 --> 00:14:58,723
Here you go!
352
00:14:58,723 --> 00:15:00,856
Good time!
353
00:15:04,468 --> 00:15:05,817
Oh, man, really?
354
00:15:05,817 --> 00:15:06,993
Ah, I've done worse.
355
00:15:06,993 --> 00:15:08,255
This one movie
I shot in Mexico,
356
00:15:08,255 --> 00:15:10,779
it was called
Stuff My Taco,
357
00:15:10,779 --> 00:15:12,041
only the guy's
frijoles pintos
358
00:15:12,041 --> 00:15:13,303
couldn't even fill
a taquito,
359
00:15:13,303 --> 00:15:14,304
if you know what I'm saying.
360
00:15:14,304 --> 00:15:16,089
Yeah, ha, ha!
361
00:15:16,089 --> 00:15:17,655
No, not really.
362
00:15:17,655 --> 00:15:19,570
Oh, a taquito's like a little
chimichanga kind of thing?
363
00:15:19,570 --> 00:15:22,399
Man, I could go for an enchilada
right now.
364
00:15:22,399 --> 00:15:23,705
Yeah, could we get going here?
365
00:15:23,705 --> 00:15:24,924
I've got a bit of a time crunch.
366
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:26,969
Yeah, okay,
you're right, you're right.
367
00:15:26,969 --> 00:15:28,579
Look, Richard, we don't want
to sacrifice quality
368
00:15:28,579 --> 00:15:29,885
by rushing things here, okay?
369
00:15:29,885 --> 00:15:32,627
Because this present could be
your last chance
370
00:15:32,627 --> 00:15:34,020
to earn your father's respect.
371
00:15:34,020 --> 00:15:36,457
How about I turn my fist
into a 5-fingered present
372
00:15:36,457 --> 00:15:38,024
and start gifting you
in the face?
373
00:15:38,024 --> 00:15:39,851
I mean, I'm sure
he'll be impressed
374
00:15:39,851 --> 00:15:42,376
no matter how expensive
and fabulous
375
00:15:42,376 --> 00:15:44,204
the spa day with Megan
proves to be.
376
00:15:44,204 --> 00:15:45,248
Oh, fuck me!
377
00:15:45,248 --> 00:15:46,815
Candy, you almost ready?
378
00:15:46,815 --> 00:15:48,948
Yeah, just got to shake out
the girls.
379
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:50,166
Okay, good to go?
380
00:15:50,166 --> 00:15:51,907
Ahh, fuck!
381
00:15:51,907 --> 00:15:53,474
My back!
Fuck!
382
00:15:53,474 --> 00:15:54,910
Oh, God!
383
00:15:54,910 --> 00:15:56,042
Can someone get me some ice?
384
00:15:56,042 --> 00:15:57,260
On it!
385
00:15:57,260 --> 00:15:59,045
Candy, uh, I don't mean
to press,
386
00:15:59,045 --> 00:16:02,048
but as they say in the industry,
we are going limp here.
387
00:16:02,048 --> 00:16:04,398
Richard, Miss Box
is injured, okay?
388
00:16:04,398 --> 00:16:05,660
And the health of our cast
and crew
389
00:16:05,660 --> 00:16:07,009
is far more important
than any film!
390
00:16:07,009 --> 00:16:08,619
Oh, so now it's just a film?
391
00:16:08,619 --> 00:16:11,057
What happened to last chance
to earn the old man's respect?
392
00:16:11,057 --> 00:16:13,015
You know what, if you give me
5 minutes on my back,
393
00:16:13,015 --> 00:16:14,843
then I'll be ready
for 5 hours on my back.
394
00:16:14,843 --> 00:16:16,018
You know what I'm saying?
395
00:16:16,018 --> 00:16:17,498
I don't.
396
00:16:18,847 --> 00:16:22,155
Hey, what'd I say
about cell phones on the set?
397
00:16:22,155 --> 00:16:23,373
Hello?
398
00:16:23,373 --> 00:16:24,635
Outside, now!
399
00:16:24,635 --> 00:16:25,680
Fuck!
400
00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:26,681
Hey, where you going?
401
00:16:26,681 --> 00:16:28,291
We got to shoot
this puppy!
402
00:16:28,291 --> 00:16:30,424
Oh, no, darlings, no!
403
00:16:30,424 --> 00:16:34,515
It's just an expression, like
can't get wood or pink sock.
404
00:16:34,515 --> 00:16:36,647
Oh, pink sock is where
your rectum prolapses
405
00:16:36,647 --> 00:16:38,519
from repeatedly blasted--
406
00:16:38,519 --> 00:16:39,955
Oh, look, kids,
here's the ice!
407
00:16:39,955 --> 00:16:41,870
Thanks, doll.
408
00:16:41,870 --> 00:16:43,524
You think maybe we could start
with a scene
409
00:16:43,524 --> 00:16:45,526
where I'm sitting down?
410
00:16:45,526 --> 00:16:49,095
Kids, go get Mommy her muscle
relaxants from her purse!
411
00:16:49,095 --> 00:16:50,618
And a beer!
412
00:16:50,618 --> 00:16:53,534
Okay!
413
00:16:53,534 --> 00:16:55,188
Hot, right?
414
00:16:55,188 --> 00:16:58,713
You can't be here!
415
00:16:58,713 --> 00:17:00,193
Oh, really?
416
00:17:00,193 --> 00:17:02,021
I know what you're doing
in there.
417
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:03,500
You're shooting porn!
418
00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:07,200
You disgust me with your sexual
exploitation of women,
419
00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:09,115
and I need you to put me
in that movie!
420
00:17:09,115 --> 00:17:11,117
You are underage,
so no, no, no!
421
00:17:11,117 --> 00:17:12,814
That's the whole point.
422
00:17:12,814 --> 00:17:14,250
If I'm in the movie,
423
00:17:14,250 --> 00:17:16,644
then Fitz becomes
a child pornographer,
424
00:17:16,644 --> 00:17:17,906
and Cara, the junior survivalist,
425
00:17:17,906 --> 00:17:20,865
gets her man and her
gets-her-man badge!
426
00:17:20,865 --> 00:17:23,259
Well, I am no narc!
427
00:17:23,259 --> 00:17:27,220
So deal with it.
428
00:17:27,220 --> 00:17:28,482
I tell the cops
you kissed me,
429
00:17:28,482 --> 00:17:30,571
and you'll be the one
going up-river.
430
00:17:30,571 --> 00:17:31,876
So, who's it going
to be, Josh?
431
00:17:31,876 --> 00:17:34,357
You, or Fitz?
432
00:17:34,357 --> 00:17:38,405
You know, you can't blackmail
me, not if I do this.
433
00:17:41,147 --> 00:17:43,192
Oh, no!
434
00:17:43,192 --> 00:17:45,760
What happened to your precious
incriminating evidence?
435
00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:47,762
Oh, what do you think of this?
Or that?
436
00:17:47,762 --> 00:17:49,416
What happens if I did that
a little bit?
437
00:17:49,416 --> 00:17:52,636
Or maybe if I did
a little bit of this.
438
00:17:55,030 --> 00:17:57,728
That was your phone.
439
00:17:57,728 --> 00:17:59,600
Oh, fuck!
440
00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:01,123
You know what?
441
00:18:01,123 --> 00:18:02,690
You still can't come in!
442
00:18:07,216 --> 00:18:10,263
Going to get a new phone!
443
00:18:16,399 --> 00:18:17,661
You ever thought
about going pro?
444
00:18:17,661 --> 00:18:20,142
5 or 10 thousand dollars
worth of plastic surgery
445
00:18:20,142 --> 00:18:21,143
and you'd be a natural!
446
00:18:21,143 --> 00:18:23,406
Oh, uh, thank you,
447
00:18:23,406 --> 00:18:25,887
but um, all those different
partners, I don't know.
448
00:18:25,887 --> 00:18:28,890
Honey, I had the same co-star
for years.
449
00:18:28,890 --> 00:18:33,460
Closest thing I ever had
to love.
450
00:18:33,460 --> 00:18:34,852
Hairy mother-fucker!
451
00:18:34,852 --> 00:18:36,027
Places!
452
00:18:36,027 --> 00:18:38,987
Think about it.
453
00:18:38,987 --> 00:18:40,554
Let's go, people,
come on!
454
00:18:45,036 --> 00:18:46,734
Richard, we really need
to discuss--
455
00:18:46,734 --> 00:18:47,952
Trans-fuckers,
456
00:18:47,952 --> 00:18:49,563
directed
by Richard Fitzpatrick.
457
00:18:49,563 --> 00:18:51,217
Cameraman, Joshua McTaggert.
458
00:18:51,217 --> 00:18:53,219
Take 1, scene 1, shot 1.
459
00:18:53,219 --> 00:18:54,220
And--
460
00:18:54,220 --> 00:18:55,656
Action!
461
00:18:55,656 --> 00:18:57,658
Oh, God!
462
00:18:57,658 --> 00:18:59,660
Get over here!
463
00:18:59,660 --> 00:19:02,271
You sexy mother-fucker!
464
00:19:02,271 --> 00:19:04,708
Oh!
465
00:19:04,708 --> 00:19:07,842
Ahh!
466
00:19:07,842 --> 00:19:09,844
Oh, my back!
467
00:19:09,844 --> 00:19:10,845
Cut it!
468
00:19:10,845 --> 00:19:11,846
No, it's fine, it's fine.
469
00:19:11,846 --> 00:19:13,064
I'm a professional, okay?
470
00:19:13,064 --> 00:19:14,501
I went into labour
with that one,
471
00:19:14,501 --> 00:19:15,980
and still managed to gang-bang
a whole IT department
472
00:19:15,980 --> 00:19:17,417
on IT Department Gang-bang 4.
473
00:19:17,417 --> 00:19:18,548
Going again.
474
00:19:18,548 --> 00:19:21,072
All right, well,
let's try it again!
475
00:19:21,072 --> 00:19:23,684
Uh, places, everybody,
back to one.
476
00:19:23,684 --> 00:19:25,512
Trans-fuckers,
Richard Fitzpatrick director--
477
00:19:25,512 --> 00:19:27,557
Oh, fuck, hurry up, okay!
478
00:19:27,557 --> 00:19:29,255
Okay, we're doing the slate!
479
00:19:29,255 --> 00:19:30,517
Jesus, action!
480
00:19:30,517 --> 00:19:32,736
No, I'm supposed
to fucking say, "Action!"
481
00:19:32,736 --> 00:19:33,824
Well then, say "Action!"
482
00:19:33,824 --> 00:19:36,305
All right, here we go,
and action!
483
00:19:36,305 --> 00:19:37,306
Oh, baby!
484
00:19:37,306 --> 00:19:41,180
Oh, you are so hot!
485
00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:44,705
Oh, baby!
486
00:19:44,705 --> 00:19:46,272
Yeah, baby.
487
00:19:46,272 --> 00:19:48,491
Check out
my master cylinder.
488
00:19:48,491 --> 00:19:50,580
Oh!
489
00:19:50,580 --> 00:19:52,408
Oh, fuck!
490
00:19:52,408 --> 00:19:53,496
My fucking contact lens!
491
00:19:53,496 --> 00:19:55,237
Oh, my God!
492
00:19:55,237 --> 00:19:57,196
It got me
right in the eye!
493
00:19:57,196 --> 00:20:00,503
Cutting.
494
00:20:04,942 --> 00:20:07,684
Oh, these damn implants.
495
00:20:07,684 --> 00:20:09,556
They get my spine twisted up
like a pretzel.
496
00:20:09,556 --> 00:20:10,948
Yeah.
497
00:20:10,948 --> 00:20:13,124
The things I do to keep
these kids in Montessori.
498
00:20:13,124 --> 00:20:14,343
Hmm.
499
00:20:14,343 --> 00:20:15,779
Call me, I owe you guys
another go-around.
500
00:20:15,779 --> 00:20:17,085
Okay, dear.
501
00:20:17,085 --> 00:20:19,783
Okay, boys,
up, up and away!
502
00:20:19,783 --> 00:20:22,612
Bye, guys,
see you later!
503
00:20:22,612 --> 00:20:26,921
Bye, whoo!
504
00:20:26,921 --> 00:20:28,662
You know, it might not
be too late
505
00:20:28,662 --> 00:20:30,664
to write Ken
a nice birthday poem?
506
00:20:30,664 --> 00:20:33,275
Here's a poem.
507
00:20:33,275 --> 00:20:38,280
Roses are red,
Larry, fuck off!
508
00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:40,326
That doesn't even rhyme.
509
00:20:43,198 --> 00:20:44,808
I could have just dropped
you off at home.
510
00:20:44,808 --> 00:20:46,549
It would have given us more time
to listen to that new Enya CD.
511
00:20:46,549 --> 00:20:48,334
It's very relaxing!
512
00:20:48,334 --> 00:20:49,335
Where--
513
00:20:49,335 --> 00:20:50,901
Daddy!
514
00:20:50,901 --> 00:20:55,036
You forgot
your body butter!
515
00:20:55,036 --> 00:20:57,038
All right, shut it down!
516
00:20:57,038 --> 00:20:58,039
What are you, deaf?
517
00:20:58,039 --> 00:20:59,170
That's a wrap!
518
00:20:59,170 --> 00:21:01,216
Show's over,
we're done here!
519
00:21:01,216 --> 00:21:02,217
Done?
520
00:21:02,217 --> 00:21:04,306
Done with what, dickwad?
521
00:21:04,306 --> 00:21:08,397
Oh, uh, it was supposed
to be a surprise, Sir.
522
00:21:08,397 --> 00:21:11,357
Richard was making a present
for your birthday.
523
00:21:11,357 --> 00:21:14,621
What, another
fucking ashtray?
524
00:21:14,621 --> 00:21:16,623
No, Sir, not another ashtray.
525
00:21:16,623 --> 00:21:17,841
It's a pornographic film!
526
00:21:17,841 --> 00:21:19,974
That's right,
it was actually very sweet.
527
00:21:19,974 --> 00:21:22,281
He even hired
your fantasy sweetheart.
528
00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:24,457
Candy Box?
529
00:21:24,457 --> 00:21:25,632
How the hell old
is she now?
530
00:21:25,632 --> 00:21:27,547
34, you moron.
531
00:21:27,547 --> 00:21:28,852
So, what?
532
00:21:28,852 --> 00:21:30,463
In stripper years,
that's like 105.
533
00:21:30,463 --> 00:21:32,465
I haven't cranked the bats
to her in years.
534
00:21:32,465 --> 00:21:33,814
Yeah well, the shoot's
not happening.
535
00:21:33,814 --> 00:21:35,772
Our star blew her back out
536
00:21:35,772 --> 00:21:38,558
before she could blow
anything else.
537
00:21:38,558 --> 00:21:40,647
Happy fucking birthday!
538
00:21:40,647 --> 00:21:42,039
Oh, wait!
539
00:21:43,780 --> 00:21:46,043
You're such a quitter.
540
00:21:46,043 --> 00:21:48,394
One setback, and you bail.
541
00:21:48,394 --> 00:21:50,700
You can't make porn
without vagina.
542
00:21:50,700 --> 00:21:52,180
Oh, I have a vagina!
543
00:21:52,180 --> 00:21:53,355
I could do it.
544
00:21:53,355 --> 00:21:54,661
Hi, there.
545
00:21:54,661 --> 00:21:55,836
Uh, or me?
546
00:21:55,836 --> 00:21:57,925
Ha, there you go.
547
00:21:57,925 --> 00:21:59,230
Hey!
548
00:21:59,230 --> 00:22:02,277
Sonya, no.
549
00:22:02,277 --> 00:22:04,410
You would do that?
550
00:22:04,410 --> 00:22:07,064
Yes, uh, as long
as it's with Fitz.
551
00:22:07,064 --> 00:22:09,328
No, nuh-uh,
you're a bunch of sick fuckers.
552
00:22:09,328 --> 00:22:11,808
There's no way
that I'm starring
553
00:22:11,808 --> 00:22:14,376
in a birthday-present spank
movie for my old man!
554
00:22:14,376 --> 00:22:16,160
You got that right!
555
00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:17,466
I don't want to watch it.
556
00:22:17,466 --> 00:22:19,599
I want to sell it!
557
00:22:19,599 --> 00:22:22,645
Money, now there's a fucking
birthday present.
558
00:22:28,477 --> 00:22:31,480
Ugh!
559
00:22:36,964 --> 00:22:39,619
I'm not so sure
this is a good idea.
560
00:22:39,619 --> 00:22:41,447
I mean, Candy Box
was a trained professional.
561
00:22:41,447 --> 00:22:42,535
This was just another day
at the office for her--
562
00:22:42,535 --> 00:22:44,188
Oh!
563
00:22:44,188 --> 00:22:45,842
Hey, it's just sex.
564
00:22:45,842 --> 00:22:48,062
It's not like we haven't had sex
in public before, right babe?
565
00:22:48,062 --> 00:22:50,151
Guilty as charged.
566
00:22:50,151 --> 00:22:51,326
How do I look?
567
00:22:51,326 --> 00:22:52,632
Smoking.
568
00:22:52,632 --> 00:22:54,721
Vulnerable.
569
00:22:54,721 --> 00:22:56,636
Hey, making this video
for Ken
570
00:22:56,636 --> 00:22:57,985
was your idea
in the first place.
571
00:22:57,985 --> 00:22:59,378
Now be my conscience
and help me!
572
00:22:59,378 --> 00:23:00,509
How?
573
00:23:00,509 --> 00:23:01,728
I don't know,
go fluff something.
574
00:23:01,728 --> 00:23:04,513
Just get out of here!
575
00:23:04,513 --> 00:23:06,297
You sure you're okay
with this?
576
00:23:06,297 --> 00:23:08,952
I mean, I don't need
another lawsuit.
577
00:23:08,952 --> 00:23:11,085
Of course I'm sure.
578
00:23:11,085 --> 00:23:14,305
We care about each other,
and I want to help.
579
00:23:14,305 --> 00:23:17,961
You ready?
580
00:23:17,961 --> 00:23:21,008
Yeah, yeah,
I just need a minute.
581
00:23:28,407 --> 00:23:30,713
Fuck.
582
00:23:32,846 --> 00:23:34,456
Richard!
583
00:23:34,456 --> 00:23:35,501
Just a minute.
584
00:23:35,501 --> 00:23:36,632
Okay.
585
00:23:36,632 --> 00:23:39,809
Uh, I bet it's just a case
of nerves.
586
00:23:39,809 --> 00:23:41,071
You know, it's um--
587
00:23:41,071 --> 00:23:42,072
You know what?
588
00:23:42,072 --> 00:23:43,726
Let's help Richard out, okay?
589
00:23:43,726 --> 00:23:45,641
He doesn't have to be
the only one
590
00:23:45,641 --> 00:23:47,600
whose epidermis
is showing, right?
591
00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:49,558
Richard, come on, buddy,
I'm here for you!
592
00:23:49,558 --> 00:23:51,342
No need to be self-conscious,
fist bump!
593
00:23:51,342 --> 00:23:53,606
All right, roll camera.
594
00:23:53,606 --> 00:23:56,522
Okay, rolling.
595
00:23:56,522 --> 00:23:58,349
Okay, okay.
596
00:24:02,136 --> 00:24:04,138
Still, still rolling.
597
00:24:05,748 --> 00:24:07,620
Is everything okay?
598
00:24:07,620 --> 00:24:09,665
Yeah.
599
00:24:12,451 --> 00:24:13,626
Okay, time.
600
00:24:13,626 --> 00:24:15,802
What are you--
601
00:24:15,802 --> 00:24:17,020
What's wrong?
602
00:24:17,020 --> 00:24:18,631
Did I do something wrong?
603
00:24:18,631 --> 00:24:21,198
The man needs a moment!
604
00:24:21,198 --> 00:24:23,679
Come on, little buddy.
605
00:24:23,679 --> 00:24:27,466
Get your head in the game.
606
00:24:27,466 --> 00:24:30,120
Richard, you're having
a moment.
607
00:24:30,120 --> 00:24:31,513
Fuck off, Larry.
608
00:24:31,513 --> 00:24:33,123
I see what's happening here.
609
00:24:33,123 --> 00:24:35,169
Okay, there is a part of you
that does not want to do this.
610
00:24:35,169 --> 00:24:36,518
Yeah, my dick.
611
00:24:36,518 --> 00:24:38,041
Richard, you are
no less of a man
612
00:24:38,041 --> 00:24:40,261
because you cannot bring
yourself to exploit Sonya.
613
00:24:40,261 --> 00:24:42,263
Oh I can bring myself
to exploit Sonya just fine!
614
00:24:43,525 --> 00:24:45,396
In fact, it makes you
even more of a man,
615
00:24:45,396 --> 00:24:47,486
and this is more
of a gift to Ken
616
00:24:47,486 --> 00:24:50,663
than any old pornographic film!
617
00:24:50,663 --> 00:24:53,492
Richard, you are an empath!
618
00:24:53,492 --> 00:24:55,929
Fuck you, I am not!
619
00:24:55,929 --> 00:24:57,670
Oh, hey, hey!
620
00:25:00,237 --> 00:25:01,543
I'm protecting you, Richard!
621
00:25:01,543 --> 00:25:03,850
We're finally working together!
622
00:25:03,850 --> 00:25:05,025
So you won't fool around
on camera with me,
623
00:25:05,025 --> 00:25:06,156
but it's okay with him!
624
00:25:06,156 --> 00:25:07,549
You're ruining my porno!
625
00:25:07,549 --> 00:25:09,551
You're ruining your own porno!
626
00:25:09,551 --> 00:25:11,466
Get out of my life!
627
00:25:11,466 --> 00:25:13,337
I can't get out of your life
until you're whole again!
628
00:25:13,337 --> 00:25:14,861
Damn it, we're one!
629
00:25:14,861 --> 00:25:19,692
We're like two reflections
in a mirror!
630
00:25:19,692 --> 00:25:22,869
We're two pieces of a coin.
631
00:25:28,875 --> 00:25:31,094
300,000 hits?
632
00:25:31,094 --> 00:25:33,575
This thing could have
made some real coin,
633
00:25:33,575 --> 00:25:36,622
and that shit stain
puts it online for free.
634
00:25:39,363 --> 00:25:41,061
What you watching there, sweetie?
635
00:25:41,061 --> 00:25:43,019
Uncle Larry
and Uncle Richard fighting.
636
00:25:43,019 --> 00:25:45,152
What else is new?
637
00:25:45,152 --> 00:25:48,198
They're not wearing
any pants.
638
00:25:57,338 --> 00:26:00,559
Fuck, argh!
639
00:26:00,559 --> 00:26:05,564
I must admit, these production
values are really top-notch.
640
00:26:05,564 --> 00:26:08,654
Hmm, cousin, I have to agree.
641
00:26:22,668 --> 00:26:24,017
A wise man once said,
642
00:26:24,017 --> 00:26:27,020
give love and you'll get love
in return.
643
00:26:27,020 --> 00:26:29,544
I think it was Jesus,
but it might have been Sting!
644
00:26:29,544 --> 00:26:31,677
You're a dead man, Larry,
a dead man!
645
00:26:31,677 --> 00:26:36,377
We're going down
together!
43877
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