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1
00:01:17,164 --> 00:01:20,254
So, meiosis is the process
by which a cell divides
2
00:01:20,341 --> 00:01:22,386
and splits up
the number of chromosomes.
3
00:01:22,473 --> 00:01:24,823
Now, this is different
than mitosis, remember.
4
00:01:24,910 --> 00:01:28,088
They are to form what are called
gametes, alright?
5
00:01:28,175 --> 00:01:29,654
Did this make sense
to everybody?
6
00:01:29,741 --> 00:01:31,569
Alright now, each gamete
contains 50 percent..
7
00:01:31,656 --> 00:01:34,137
We're just gonna
like, wreck your house.
8
00:01:34,224 --> 00:01:36,531
- It's gonna be so rad.
- Who's even coming?
9
00:01:36,618 --> 00:01:39,577
Yeah, is it gonna be like, super
exclusive? What's the deal?
10
00:01:39,664 --> 00:01:41,449
It's a back to school party,
you dumb beezies.
11
00:01:41,536 --> 00:01:44,234
Everyone's coming.
12
00:01:44,321 --> 00:01:46,715
Sara can even bring her
D-and-D BFF for all I care.
13
00:01:48,586 --> 00:01:49,674
They combine to form--
14
00:01:49,761 --> 00:01:52,460
We're not even friends anymore
15
00:01:52,547 --> 00:01:54,244
and we didn't play D-and-D,
it was magic.
16
00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:58,901
'Uh, yes, Hayley?'
17
00:01:58,988 --> 00:02:02,513
Amoebas and stuff can
like, split into two, right?
18
00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:04,950
- Like asexually?
- Mm, that's right.
19
00:02:05,037 --> 00:02:06,474
So if that works, then why
20
00:02:06,561 --> 00:02:08,302
is sexual reproduction
even a thing?
21
00:02:08,389 --> 00:02:11,261
Uh, 'cause it's super fun?
22
00:02:11,348 --> 00:02:14,351
Actually,
that's a terrific question.
23
00:02:14,438 --> 00:02:16,658
- What a Margaret.
- Yeah.
24
00:02:16,745 --> 00:02:18,573
Hey, did you get 151?
25
00:02:18,660 --> 00:02:20,575
I'm trying to get real faded?
26
00:02:20,662 --> 00:02:22,054
- Oh, me too.
- Me too.
27
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:24,970
I'm gonna get maybe
even like, double faded.
28
00:02:34,632 --> 00:02:36,243
'Ew, cold.'
29
00:02:44,076 --> 00:02:47,689
So, did you live
at the hotel pool?
30
00:02:47,776 --> 00:02:49,081
Huh?
31
00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:52,911
You're just super tan
from Mexico.
32
00:02:53,825 --> 00:02:56,654
Oh. I guess.
33
00:02:56,741 --> 00:02:58,743
It looks really good.
34
00:02:58,830 --> 00:03:01,529
I'm not trying to roast you
or anything.
35
00:03:05,446 --> 00:03:08,275
Hey, did you write down
the bio reading? I totally--
36
00:03:08,362 --> 00:03:11,756
Sara, we're on
different paths now, okay?
37
00:03:12,670 --> 00:03:13,932
Okay?
38
00:03:14,019 --> 00:03:16,935
So, can we just like,
let that be.
39
00:03:17,022 --> 00:03:18,198
You know, I'm moving forward.
40
00:03:18,285 --> 00:03:19,851
No, yeah, I get it.
41
00:03:19,938 --> 00:03:23,072
You wanna focus on
lacrosse and college.
42
00:03:23,159 --> 00:03:25,770
Sure, yeah,
uh, there's that.
43
00:03:27,468 --> 00:03:29,557
I thought the sex thing
wasn't a big deal.
44
00:03:29,644 --> 00:03:32,864
Yeah, well, I've changed
a lot this summer.
45
00:03:32,951 --> 00:03:34,736
My priorities are..
46
00:03:39,044 --> 00:03:41,221
...different, okay?
47
00:03:45,834 --> 00:03:47,488
Hey, Sara?
48
00:03:50,012 --> 00:03:52,623
It's pages 24 through 43.
49
00:03:52,710 --> 00:03:55,235
Skip the lab questions on 30.
50
00:03:58,890 --> 00:04:01,937
- Hey, Skyler!
- What's up, Skyler?
51
00:04:07,943 --> 00:04:09,249
Hey, Sare Bear,
I'm heading to class.
52
00:04:09,336 --> 00:04:10,467
You do your homework?
53
00:04:10,554 --> 00:04:13,122
- Did you do yours?
- Zing!
54
00:04:13,209 --> 00:04:15,994
Seriously, you do it yet?
55
00:04:16,081 --> 00:04:18,649
That's what I'm talking about.
Ten thousand hours, baby!
56
00:04:18,736 --> 00:04:21,173
Then you're gonna be
a big time CEO!
57
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:24,264
That's not even a real thing.
58
00:04:24,351 --> 00:04:25,613
Are you wearing makeup?
59
00:04:25,700 --> 00:04:29,660
No, I just moisturized.
60
00:04:29,747 --> 00:04:31,749
It's called making an effort.
61
00:04:31,836 --> 00:04:33,403
Okay.
62
00:04:36,841 --> 00:04:38,800
Everything peachy
in your world, baby?
63
00:04:38,887 --> 00:04:41,324
Yep, can you
close the door please?
64
00:04:41,411 --> 00:04:44,153
Alright,
I'll get outta your hair.
65
00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:46,068
Be good.
66
00:05:02,911 --> 00:05:04,042
Hey.
67
00:05:04,956 --> 00:05:06,044
Hey.
68
00:05:07,132 --> 00:05:09,787
I thought we could, talk?
69
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:13,356
Huh?
70
00:05:29,459 --> 00:05:30,678
Do you have a condom?
71
00:05:36,553 --> 00:05:38,294
Just pull out.
72
00:05:41,210 --> 00:05:42,385
I will.
73
00:06:02,710 --> 00:06:03,885
Ow!
74
00:06:05,408 --> 00:06:06,801
Ow.
75
00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:31,695
It felt so good.
76
00:06:33,436 --> 00:06:35,569
Yeah, amazing.
77
00:06:37,266 --> 00:06:40,138
Did you pull out?
78
00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:44,186
It's okay.
79
00:06:45,492 --> 00:06:46,754
It's okay.
80
00:06:48,364 --> 00:06:49,539
I'm sure it's..
81
00:07:02,465 --> 00:07:04,902
♪ Made it rain
and I barely got my feet wet ♪
82
00:07:04,989 --> 00:07:07,252
♪ Fresh money
like I came up off the inkjet ♪
83
00:07:07,339 --> 00:07:09,690
♪ Still swish swish
I need a heat check ♪
84
00:07:09,777 --> 00:07:11,779
♪ Y'all princes ain't
even kissed my feet yet ♪
85
00:07:11,866 --> 00:07:14,259
♪ And we gonna do
whatever I say ♪
86
00:07:14,346 --> 00:07:16,610
♪ When I get bored ♪♪ Boy's gonna play ♪
87
00:07:16,697 --> 00:07:19,351
♪ Taking calls
'cause I got a deal on the way ♪
88
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:21,702
♪ Grown woman
doing grown woman shit ♪
89
00:07:21,789 --> 00:07:24,008
♪ Grown woman doing
grown woman shit ♪
90
00:07:24,095 --> 00:07:27,229
♪ Spent the checks
on the drips on my wrist ♪
91
00:07:39,546 --> 00:07:41,373
Jesus!
92
00:07:42,940 --> 00:07:45,465
I just wanted to see
if everything was okay, shit!
93
00:07:50,208 --> 00:07:51,514
So..
94
00:07:53,690 --> 00:07:56,040
Is everything okay?
95
00:07:56,127 --> 00:07:58,695
Yeah. Thanks.
96
00:08:05,746 --> 00:08:08,357
Tegan's thigh gap
is so much better than mine.
97
00:08:08,444 --> 00:08:10,490
- Pouty face.
- Oh, my God, Ki.
98
00:08:10,577 --> 00:08:13,144
Yours is amaze, and mine's
only because of gymnastics.
99
00:08:13,231 --> 00:08:15,190
- God, I should join.
- That's cray.
100
00:08:15,277 --> 00:08:17,932
It's like a really
big commitment, but I love it.
101
00:08:18,019 --> 00:08:19,673
'Plus my mom won't
let me quit, so who cares?'
102
00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:22,284
- My thigh gap is such garbage.
- Shh, shh, shh!
103
00:08:25,113 --> 00:08:26,984
Feeling better?
104
00:08:27,071 --> 00:08:29,726
Mm-hmm, I'm fine.
105
00:08:29,813 --> 00:08:31,467
My favorite part was right
before when you were like
106
00:08:31,554 --> 00:08:33,687
"Oh, I love my boyfriend."
107
00:08:33,774 --> 00:08:36,080
And then you totally barfed
all over him.
108
00:08:37,995 --> 00:08:40,520
Why are you so obsessed with me?
109
00:08:43,348 --> 00:08:44,872
I'm, I'm not.
110
00:08:46,917 --> 00:08:48,266
I'm just telling
everybody the story
111
00:08:48,353 --> 00:08:50,530
because it's
a super funny story.
112
00:08:50,617 --> 00:08:54,751
Yeah, you're like, the funniest
one of our friends, Kiana.
113
00:09:02,716 --> 00:09:05,153
Hey, Sara, is everything cool?
114
00:09:14,989 --> 00:09:17,469
Talk about mood swings.
115
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,559
What are you like, pregnant?
116
00:09:23,432 --> 00:09:25,739
That would be hilarious.
117
00:09:27,958 --> 00:09:29,220
'What are you guys doing
this weekend?'
118
00:09:29,307 --> 00:09:30,221
'Shopping.'
119
00:09:57,335 --> 00:09:58,728
Oh, thank Christ.
120
00:10:29,063 --> 00:10:32,675
'Sara, welcome
to the land of the living.'
121
00:10:34,024 --> 00:10:35,504
'Sara?'
122
00:10:51,389 --> 00:10:52,826
W-T-Fuck?
123
00:10:54,784 --> 00:10:57,091
W-T-Fuck!
124
00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:05,186
'I'm coming in,
hide your shame.'
125
00:11:38,610 --> 00:11:39,742
Okay.
126
00:11:44,268 --> 00:11:45,792
Fuck, fuck!
127
00:11:45,879 --> 00:11:47,097
- Fuck!
- Hey.
128
00:11:47,184 --> 00:11:49,883
- Hey you.
- I was just thinking about you.
129
00:11:49,970 --> 00:11:51,493
'I called you a bunch
last night.'
130
00:11:51,580 --> 00:11:54,670
Yeah, I wasn't feeling awesome.
131
00:11:55,932 --> 00:11:58,108
So, how are you feeling?
132
00:11:58,195 --> 00:11:59,719
'Uh, I'm okay.'
133
00:12:01,851 --> 00:12:05,507
Actually,
now that you mention it
134
00:12:05,594 --> 00:12:07,509
'I have been feeling really..'
135
00:12:10,338 --> 00:12:12,035
...horny.
136
00:12:14,516 --> 00:12:15,865
Wanna come over?
137
00:12:15,952 --> 00:12:17,562
I'd love to but I'm stuck
138
00:12:17,649 --> 00:12:19,608
with my mom all day, so lame!
139
00:12:19,695 --> 00:12:20,783
I'll see you later.
Kisses, bye!
140
00:12:20,870 --> 00:12:21,915
Hey, w-we're still going to
141
00:12:22,002 --> 00:12:23,307
Kiana's together though, right?
142
00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:26,136
- Hey, bitch!
- Kiana, hey--
143
00:12:26,223 --> 00:12:27,442
Oh my God, shut up for second.
144
00:12:27,529 --> 00:12:29,096
Did you hear, Amy P.
got shwasted
145
00:12:29,183 --> 00:12:30,445
and hooked up with Joey C.?
146
00:12:30,532 --> 00:12:33,100
They did it in his Scion,
so grody.
147
00:12:33,187 --> 00:12:35,406
It's all DL by the way,
Amy's supes embarrassed about it
148
00:12:35,493 --> 00:12:37,626
and made me promise
not to tell anyone
149
00:12:37,713 --> 00:12:39,367
also she pegged him.
150
00:12:39,454 --> 00:12:40,803
So, what's up?
151
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:57,037
So, why are you here?
152
00:12:57,124 --> 00:12:59,866
Uh, hello?
153
00:12:59,953 --> 00:13:02,564
Okay, I'm just trying to like
154
00:13:02,651 --> 00:13:04,392
like, where's Kiana?
155
00:13:04,479 --> 00:13:06,089
Aren't you guys like,
besties now?
156
00:13:06,176 --> 00:13:09,745
I mean, I just thought
you would help me or whatever.
157
00:13:11,660 --> 00:13:13,575
What?
158
00:13:13,662 --> 00:13:16,447
Nothing, you just
159
00:13:16,534 --> 00:13:19,581
kinda totally ghosted me
sophomore year.
160
00:13:19,668 --> 00:13:22,410
What?
I've seen you.
161
00:13:24,151 --> 00:13:26,109
Whatever, never mind .
162
00:13:26,196 --> 00:13:27,850
Hayley,
I'm really freaking here.
163
00:13:27,937 --> 00:13:31,723
Well, sorry, it's just,
a lot to take in.
164
00:13:34,204 --> 00:13:36,424
- Shyeah.
- It doesn't make sense.
165
00:13:36,511 --> 00:13:37,991
I saw you yesterday.
166
00:13:38,078 --> 00:13:40,471
Puking my guts out.
Morning sickness much?
167
00:13:40,558 --> 00:13:42,430
Okay, well, whatever's
happening here is--
168
00:13:42,517 --> 00:13:44,736
Completely bat-shit.
169
00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:46,434
Gynecological.
170
00:13:46,521 --> 00:13:48,131
You need to go to a hospital!
171
00:13:48,218 --> 00:13:50,046
Hmm, veto.
They'll call my mom.
172
00:13:50,133 --> 00:13:51,961
Oh, are you serious?
173
00:13:52,048 --> 00:13:53,310
This is triage, Hayley.
174
00:13:53,397 --> 00:13:56,444
Priority one
is keeping this quiet.
175
00:13:56,531 --> 00:13:59,839
Priority two is my health
and general overall wellbeing.
176
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:04,844
Okay, so you want a place
that's confidential
177
00:14:04,931 --> 00:14:07,107
maybe who knows a way around
a freaky surprise pregnancy
178
00:14:07,194 --> 00:14:09,457
and, hey, hopefully doesn't
cost anything either
179
00:14:09,544 --> 00:14:11,111
because why not?
180
00:14:15,202 --> 00:14:19,032
We're all human beings
in God's eyes.
181
00:14:19,119 --> 00:14:21,425
It is not too late
to turn around.
182
00:14:21,512 --> 00:14:24,428
'There is still time
for forgiveness.'
183
00:14:24,515 --> 00:14:26,256
Don't make a decision
you'll regret
184
00:14:26,343 --> 00:14:28,258
for the rest of your life.
185
00:14:28,345 --> 00:14:29,390
Forgive this harlot, Lord.
186
00:14:29,477 --> 00:14:32,045
She knows not what she does.
187
00:14:32,132 --> 00:14:34,090
Jesus loves you!
188
00:14:37,006 --> 00:14:38,355
Bitch!
189
00:14:54,415 --> 00:14:57,026
I guess those opium orgies
really paid off, huh?
190
00:14:57,113 --> 00:14:59,115
Okay, I told you
it was my first time
191
00:14:59,202 --> 00:15:02,249
so stop slut shaming me.
192
00:15:02,336 --> 00:15:04,555
And sex is like,
a totally natural
193
00:15:04,642 --> 00:15:06,514
healthy part of life anyway.
194
00:15:09,082 --> 00:15:11,171
Where is Skyler, anyway?
195
00:15:12,999 --> 00:15:15,088
- You should call him--
- Don't!
196
00:15:17,612 --> 00:15:18,874
It's not Skyler.
197
00:15:21,964 --> 00:15:24,184
That's the whole reason
we broke up in the first place.
198
00:15:25,098 --> 00:15:26,621
I wanted to wait.
199
00:15:27,839 --> 00:15:30,103
Oh, that's probably good.
200
00:15:30,190 --> 00:15:33,236
Skyler was always kind of a
sleaze anyway.
201
00:15:33,323 --> 00:15:35,935
And cocky, and a douche.
202
00:15:38,241 --> 00:15:40,548
- Oh, my God, was it Joey C.?
- It doesn't..
203
00:15:40,635 --> 00:15:42,158
Hayley, it doesn't matter.
204
00:15:42,245 --> 00:15:46,075
Would you just lay off,
please?
205
00:15:46,162 --> 00:15:49,426
I just don't understand
why you dragged me
206
00:15:49,513 --> 00:15:51,428
into this instead of..
207
00:15:52,864 --> 00:15:54,518
...Mark?
208
00:15:54,605 --> 00:15:56,303
I'm gonna get back
to this questionnaire
209
00:15:56,390 --> 00:15:58,958
because it's slightly less
invasive.
210
00:16:05,747 --> 00:16:07,879
So, how far along are you?
211
00:16:08,706 --> 00:16:10,056
A day.
212
00:16:11,622 --> 00:16:15,061
And I know that sounds like,
super cray.
213
00:16:15,148 --> 00:16:18,194
Sara, you didn't just like,
go to sleep last night
214
00:16:18,281 --> 00:16:19,935
and wake up
nine months pregnant.
215
00:16:24,505 --> 00:16:25,593
It's pretty cray.
216
00:16:33,731 --> 00:16:36,560
I am so effed.
217
00:16:36,647 --> 00:16:38,301
No.
218
00:16:38,388 --> 00:16:40,260
I'm sure Zack will
still support you.
219
00:16:40,347 --> 00:16:43,698
Not having this convo, again.
220
00:16:43,785 --> 00:16:45,439
I'm just, I'm just confused.
221
00:16:45,526 --> 00:16:47,310
You know, I thought you wanted
to wait for this sort of thing.
222
00:16:47,397 --> 00:16:48,485
I mean,
isn't that the whole reason
223
00:16:48,572 --> 00:16:49,704
why you broke up
with that man slut?
224
00:16:49,791 --> 00:16:51,227
Skyler's not a man slut.
225
00:16:53,925 --> 00:16:55,449
He was all tan.
226
00:16:55,536 --> 00:16:56,537
Yuck!
227
00:16:56,624 --> 00:16:58,756
He just got back from Mexico.
228
00:17:02,891 --> 00:17:04,545
Mexico?
229
00:17:10,159 --> 00:17:12,727
Wait, what is..
230
00:17:17,210 --> 00:17:18,602
Oh, God!
231
00:17:20,909 --> 00:17:22,606
Um, yeah.
232
00:17:22,693 --> 00:17:23,999
Um, okay.
233
00:17:25,348 --> 00:17:27,829
I'll be right back.
234
00:17:27,916 --> 00:17:29,744
I'm sure everything's fine.
235
00:17:34,879 --> 00:17:37,056
I'm gonna go get a doctor.
236
00:17:38,709 --> 00:17:40,015
I need you to look.
237
00:17:41,886 --> 00:17:43,236
I hate you.
238
00:17:55,030 --> 00:17:57,424
Whoa, okay! That was way more
butt hole than I was expecting!
239
00:17:57,511 --> 00:18:01,558
Don't be such a prude!
Come on, is it like, crowning?
240
00:18:01,645 --> 00:18:02,820
Gah!
241
00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:12,178
What the hell?
242
00:18:12,265 --> 00:18:14,615
I think that was a contraction.
243
00:18:16,573 --> 00:18:18,097
'You didn't tell me
she was in labor.'
244
00:18:18,184 --> 00:18:19,533
How far apart
are the contractions?
245
00:18:21,970 --> 00:18:23,493
Very close!
246
00:18:23,580 --> 00:18:24,842
We need to do this now.
247
00:18:24,929 --> 00:18:27,454
Richard, Richard!
248
00:18:27,541 --> 00:18:29,369
Richard, I'm telling you
249
00:18:29,456 --> 00:18:31,414
there is something weird
on that sonogram.
250
00:18:31,501 --> 00:18:33,112
That's why I'm here.
251
00:18:34,722 --> 00:18:36,245
Ew, no, no, no!
252
00:18:36,332 --> 00:18:37,899
- Can't she do it?
- 'Yeah.'
253
00:18:37,986 --> 00:18:40,206
I mean, there's like,
a lot of butt hole.
254
00:18:40,293 --> 00:18:41,990
Miss, I'm an OB-GYN.
255
00:18:42,077 --> 00:18:45,428
There's nothing down here
I haven't seen before.
256
00:19:18,809 --> 00:19:20,420
What the hell was that thing?
257
00:19:20,507 --> 00:19:21,595
Not a baby.
258
00:19:21,682 --> 00:19:23,423
- No duh!
- Yeah, no duh. No duh!
259
00:19:23,510 --> 00:19:24,946
This is why
you use a condom.
260
00:19:25,033 --> 00:19:27,514
Oh, this is so not
why you use a condom!
261
00:20:04,028 --> 00:20:05,943
Holy shit!
262
00:20:33,884 --> 00:20:35,799
'Look out! Ah!'
263
00:20:38,976 --> 00:20:41,283
- 'Use this!'
- 'It's not gonna work.'
264
00:20:41,370 --> 00:20:42,937
Where is it?
265
00:20:49,291 --> 00:20:50,379
Run!
266
00:20:52,860 --> 00:20:53,948
Here!
267
00:20:59,736 --> 00:21:01,347
What the shit was that?
268
00:21:01,434 --> 00:21:02,913
Definitely not a baby.
269
00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:20,714
'Hey, Ruiz, we got a call in
of a possible 217'
270
00:21:20,801 --> 00:21:23,369
'at that clinic on Mesa Way.
You think you can check it out?'
271
00:21:25,849 --> 00:21:27,634
Uh, yeah.
I'm on the South Side.
272
00:21:27,721 --> 00:21:30,332
Ah, why can't Anderson get it?
273
00:21:30,419 --> 00:21:35,250
- 'It's his birthday.'
- So?
274
00:21:35,337 --> 00:21:37,208
'So, we got ice cream
cake at the station'
275
00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:38,775
and we don't wanna see it melt.
276
00:21:38,862 --> 00:21:40,647
Great.
277
00:21:41,909 --> 00:21:44,564
Yeah, alright, I'm on it.
278
00:21:44,651 --> 00:21:47,741
Oh, uh, save me a slice, yeah?
279
00:21:47,828 --> 00:21:49,569
'It's ice cream cake, Oscar.'
280
00:22:26,345 --> 00:22:27,476
What?
281
00:22:32,612 --> 00:22:35,179
It's just, the swelling
hasn't gone down yet.
282
00:22:35,266 --> 00:22:37,051
That's not how it works, is it?
283
00:22:37,138 --> 00:22:38,705
I don't know,
I opted out of help.
284
00:22:38,792 --> 00:22:40,707
Yeah, big surprise!
285
00:22:51,326 --> 00:22:53,763
- Ew, ew, ew!
- What is happening?
286
00:22:53,850 --> 00:22:55,548
What do we do? What do we do?
What do we do?
287
00:22:55,635 --> 00:22:58,986
Okay, okay.
Um...we should call the cops.
288
00:23:00,466 --> 00:23:01,815
Okay, that's a good first idea.
289
00:23:01,902 --> 00:23:03,599
- Let's keep brainstorming.
- Sara!
290
00:23:03,686 --> 00:23:05,906
Oh, like they'd believe
any of this.
291
00:23:05,993 --> 00:23:09,213
And also, I'd prefer not to
vag cannon anyone else tonight.
292
00:23:09,300 --> 00:23:11,302
It's called saving a life.
293
00:23:13,522 --> 00:23:15,872
And I'll call my mom, yes.
294
00:23:15,959 --> 00:23:18,614
Fine!
Then we call Skyler right now.
295
00:23:19,746 --> 00:23:21,400
What's Plan C?
296
00:23:21,487 --> 00:23:23,793
Dude, he knows something,
remember?
297
00:23:23,880 --> 00:23:25,578
Mexico?
298
00:23:25,665 --> 00:23:28,755
That was a brief lapse
of xenophobia.
299
00:23:28,842 --> 00:23:30,278
I don't want him getting
involved in this.
300
00:23:30,365 --> 00:23:31,714
You don't understand.
301
00:23:31,801 --> 00:23:33,281
Yeah, no, I don't!
302
00:23:34,630 --> 00:23:36,719
He'll freak out and I don't..
303
00:23:36,806 --> 00:23:38,895
And, hi, the vag cannon
thing again.
304
00:23:38,982 --> 00:23:40,157
Oh, whatever!
305
00:23:40,244 --> 00:23:41,202
Okay, don't get huffy.
306
00:23:41,289 --> 00:23:42,812
We're still exploring.
307
00:23:42,899 --> 00:23:44,858
Okay, okay, okay.
308
00:23:44,945 --> 00:23:46,816
How tall is your staircase?
309
00:23:46,903 --> 00:23:48,339
Wow.
310
00:23:48,427 --> 00:23:49,515
We are really scraping
the bottom
311
00:23:49,602 --> 00:23:51,430
of the idea barrel here.
312
00:23:51,517 --> 00:23:53,432
How 'bout we just slap you
on the kitchen counter
313
00:23:53,519 --> 00:23:55,303
and aim you at the Vitamix?
314
00:24:04,312 --> 00:24:06,445
This better be the last time
I see that butt hole tonight.
315
00:24:10,492 --> 00:24:15,584
Hello? Sinners?
316
00:24:55,842 --> 00:24:57,365
Sinner.
317
00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:29,266
Nothing, just making smoothies.
318
00:25:30,877 --> 00:25:32,182
Yes, I fed them.
319
00:25:33,270 --> 00:25:35,490
Okay, love you too.
320
00:25:35,577 --> 00:25:38,188
- It's not coming out.
- Try pushing.
321
00:25:38,275 --> 00:25:41,104
If I push any harder
I'm gonna shit on the counter.
322
00:25:41,191 --> 00:25:43,585
Ugh!
323
00:25:43,672 --> 00:25:47,676
I can't find anything about
a Mexican pregnancy monster.
324
00:25:47,763 --> 00:25:50,331
It's all just
freaky Reddit threads.
325
00:25:51,288 --> 00:25:53,682
Ew!
326
00:25:53,769 --> 00:25:57,599
You know, I think if this
is a thing people knew about
327
00:25:57,686 --> 00:25:59,732
we'd know, you know?
328
00:26:01,298 --> 00:26:03,431
'Sara, I forgot my books.'
329
00:26:03,518 --> 00:26:04,954
'Are you in the kitchen?'
330
00:26:08,741 --> 00:26:09,829
Hayley?
331
00:26:09,916 --> 00:26:11,047
Kate!
332
00:26:12,266 --> 00:26:13,833
Hey!
333
00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:15,922
Holy crap, sweetie!
334
00:26:16,009 --> 00:26:17,053
Give me a hug!
335
00:26:17,140 --> 00:26:20,013
Oh, let me come to you!
336
00:26:22,232 --> 00:26:23,973
Oh!
337
00:26:24,060 --> 00:26:26,976
I haven't seen you
in forever and a day.
338
00:26:27,063 --> 00:26:28,587
You look so..
339
00:26:28,674 --> 00:26:31,720
Oh, my God,
you look like a grownup.
340
00:26:31,807 --> 00:26:34,897
And-and you're doing that
school thing, which is awesome!
341
00:26:34,984 --> 00:26:36,595
'Yes, cosmetology training.'
342
00:26:36,682 --> 00:26:39,902
I'm gonna be a modern
working woman. Girl power!
343
00:26:41,208 --> 00:26:42,905
- Where's Sara?
- Bathroom.
344
00:26:42,992 --> 00:26:45,038
Ha! Story of her life.
345
00:26:47,693 --> 00:26:51,000
Oh, it is just so good
to see you.
346
00:26:51,087 --> 00:26:52,523
I know, oh!
347
00:26:55,570 --> 00:26:57,746
It is just,
it is so good
348
00:26:57,833 --> 00:26:59,008
to see you two
hanging out again.
349
00:26:59,095 --> 00:27:00,619
Yeah!
350
00:27:00,706 --> 00:27:02,925
I don't know
what is up with her lately
351
00:27:03,012 --> 00:27:07,538
but she just seems kinda,
uh, ugh
352
00:27:07,626 --> 00:27:09,149
uh, you know?
353
00:27:09,236 --> 00:27:10,585
Really?
354
00:27:11,151 --> 00:27:12,369
No.
355
00:27:12,456 --> 00:27:14,763
Oh, I don't know.
356
00:27:14,850 --> 00:27:16,156
I feel like
I'm losing my sweet girl
357
00:27:16,243 --> 00:27:19,289
to this person
I don't recognize.
358
00:27:21,552 --> 00:27:25,165
I totally didn't notice.
359
00:27:25,252 --> 00:27:27,384
Well, you've always had
your head screwed on straight.
360
00:27:27,471 --> 00:27:29,038
Sara's head is up her ass.
361
00:27:30,561 --> 00:27:31,911
Well, I'm off!
362
00:27:33,042 --> 00:27:34,653
Bye, Sara, be good!
363
00:27:38,526 --> 00:27:40,049
Okay, she's gone for now,
but we cannot
364
00:27:40,136 --> 00:27:42,312
stick around here forever.
Any changes?
365
00:27:42,399 --> 00:27:44,227
No, it's not coming out.
366
00:27:44,314 --> 00:27:46,708
So, what do we do?
Just like, wait?
367
00:27:46,795 --> 00:27:49,102
I can't just Juno around town
with this thing.
368
00:27:49,189 --> 00:27:51,017
We gotta get proactive.
369
00:27:51,104 --> 00:27:53,106
Okay, um..
370
00:27:53,193 --> 00:27:55,586
This says spicy foods can help.
371
00:27:55,674 --> 00:27:57,501
Subs and Thai's open 'til 9:00.
372
00:27:57,588 --> 00:27:59,503
Yeah, wait no.
This is Yahoo Answers.
373
00:27:59,590 --> 00:28:01,984
We need actual science!
374
00:28:04,291 --> 00:28:06,815
Oh, my God.
We go see Dave.
375
00:28:08,425 --> 00:28:10,689
No. Come on. Dave?
376
00:28:10,776 --> 00:28:12,386
I was leading
this cabin tour once
377
00:28:12,473 --> 00:28:15,041
and one of the alpacas,
she was like, three weeks late
378
00:28:15,128 --> 00:28:18,174
and Dave shot this stuff into
her that made her give birth.
379
00:28:18,261 --> 00:28:20,089
Yeah, but that's an animal.
380
00:28:20,176 --> 00:28:22,309
Exactly!
381
00:28:22,396 --> 00:28:23,919
He's not gonna believe us.
382
00:28:24,006 --> 00:28:26,313
Or we could call the cops?
383
00:28:35,061 --> 00:28:36,497
Yowza.
384
00:28:39,239 --> 00:28:41,328
Hey dispatch,
we're gonna need an ambulance.
385
00:28:44,331 --> 00:28:46,159
And the coroner.
386
00:28:50,554 --> 00:28:55,168
Just try not to leak
on anything back there.
387
00:28:55,255 --> 00:28:58,867
Yeah, I wouldn't wanna
ruin your stunning upholstery.
388
00:28:58,954 --> 00:29:00,303
Hey, I just
thought of something.
389
00:29:00,390 --> 00:29:02,131
'Yeah?'
390
00:29:02,218 --> 00:29:05,787
We've left that thingy
in the clinic, right?
391
00:29:05,874 --> 00:29:08,355
- Uh-huh?
- Well, like, oops, right?
392
00:29:08,442 --> 00:29:10,531
It could hurt more people.
393
00:29:10,618 --> 00:29:14,883
Maybe he's...dead?
394
00:29:22,412 --> 00:29:23,892
Yeah.
395
00:29:25,981 --> 00:29:27,809
But probably not, right?
396
00:29:29,550 --> 00:29:31,770
Maybe he's just, like..
397
00:29:34,163 --> 00:29:35,556
...chilling at the clinic.
398
00:29:41,388 --> 00:29:42,737
Yeah.
399
00:29:46,219 --> 00:29:47,655
But probably not, right?
400
00:29:48,917 --> 00:29:50,049
Hmm.
401
00:29:51,398 --> 00:29:54,531
Okay, let's deal with this guy
402
00:29:54,618 --> 00:29:57,186
and then we'll go back.
403
00:29:57,273 --> 00:30:01,103
Yeah, if we don't die,
we won't definitely go back.
404
00:30:06,108 --> 00:30:07,501
Cool.
405
00:30:38,445 --> 00:30:39,576
Dave!
406
00:30:41,752 --> 00:30:44,451
- Hayley?
- Hey.
407
00:30:44,538 --> 00:30:47,323
I, uh, did I call you in?
408
00:30:47,410 --> 00:30:50,239
No, but we kinda
need your help.
409
00:30:52,589 --> 00:30:55,462
Sara Steinberg?
410
00:30:55,549 --> 00:30:58,247
Come out here,
let me take a look at you!
411
00:31:05,124 --> 00:31:08,431
So, Sara had sex with some guy
and got pregnant overnight
412
00:31:08,518 --> 00:31:10,216
and we went to the clinic,
but she gave birth
413
00:31:10,303 --> 00:31:13,349
to this weird thing
and it exploded a doctor's head
414
00:31:13,436 --> 00:31:15,482
and controlled a nurse like
a puppet with its stinger
415
00:31:15,569 --> 00:31:17,701
and now she has another one
inside of her
416
00:31:17,788 --> 00:31:19,921
and we need to get it out.
417
00:31:20,008 --> 00:31:22,445
And we know
that sounds super cray.
418
00:31:25,361 --> 00:31:28,669
It's a parasite,
a dracunculus
419
00:31:28,756 --> 00:31:31,585
or a blood fluke or something.
420
00:31:31,672 --> 00:31:33,456
Ugh, a blood fluke?
421
00:31:33,543 --> 00:31:36,285
Yeah, it's a type of flatworm.
422
00:31:36,372 --> 00:31:37,852
This is hot.
423
00:31:37,939 --> 00:31:39,636
So, I have worms?
424
00:31:39,723 --> 00:31:42,248
No, no, no, no.
425
00:31:42,335 --> 00:31:45,512
What you have
is much freakier than that.
426
00:31:45,599 --> 00:31:47,644
So what kind of parasite
can just hijack
427
00:31:47,731 --> 00:31:49,124
a human reproductive system?
428
00:31:49,211 --> 00:31:51,474
Or a whole human,
while we're at it.
429
00:31:51,561 --> 00:31:53,433
Well, I can consult
my literature
430
00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:55,304
but I'm pretty sure
431
00:31:55,391 --> 00:31:57,437
I haven't heard
anything like this before.
432
00:31:57,524 --> 00:32:02,268
I mean, Sara, you may have
discovered a whole new species.
433
00:32:02,355 --> 00:32:03,443
Goodie.
434
00:32:05,010 --> 00:32:07,926
This guy you got down with
435
00:32:08,013 --> 00:32:10,058
had he altered
his routine at all?
436
00:32:10,145 --> 00:32:13,192
Gone spelunking,
eaten something gnarly?
437
00:32:13,279 --> 00:32:15,629
Been bitten by a rabid dog?
438
00:32:15,716 --> 00:32:17,761
Well, he did just come back
from Mexico.
439
00:32:17,848 --> 00:32:19,154
Mexico?
440
00:32:21,548 --> 00:32:24,246
Not in an ethnocentric way
or anything
441
00:32:24,333 --> 00:32:27,771
but...maybe lover boy
came back
442
00:32:27,858 --> 00:32:30,774
with an illegal alien?
443
00:32:34,474 --> 00:32:35,649
Whoa.
444
00:32:37,216 --> 00:32:39,783
Whoa indeed, caballero.
445
00:32:41,133 --> 00:32:42,656
Whoa indeed.
446
00:32:45,224 --> 00:32:47,443
Whatever, you can get it
out of me, right?
447
00:32:49,315 --> 00:32:51,099
Probably.
448
00:32:51,186 --> 00:32:53,667
Hey, I checked on that Steinberg
address, no one was home.
449
00:32:53,754 --> 00:32:56,409
Any news on that corpse?
450
00:32:56,496 --> 00:32:58,411
'Nope, no bet.'
451
00:33:50,593 --> 00:33:53,814
Oh, holy shit!
452
00:33:53,901 --> 00:33:55,294
It's still here.
453
00:33:58,514 --> 00:34:00,777
I completely forgot about this.
454
00:34:00,864 --> 00:34:02,257
Do you think he knows?
455
00:34:08,524 --> 00:34:12,398
Um...why did you stop coming?
456
00:34:20,101 --> 00:34:22,886
It's Skyler,
I totally spaced.
457
00:34:24,062 --> 00:34:25,889
Hey, boo!
458
00:34:25,976 --> 00:34:27,239
You totally didn't
respond to my texts!
459
00:34:27,326 --> 00:34:28,849
Are we rolling to
Kiana's together or not?
460
00:34:28,936 --> 00:34:31,373
Oh, my God,
I completely forgot, Sky.
461
00:34:31,460 --> 00:34:32,766
We talked this morning.
462
00:34:32,853 --> 00:34:35,856
I know I just,
I got this stomach bug
463
00:34:35,943 --> 00:34:37,597
all of a sudden.
464
00:34:40,513 --> 00:34:42,123
I miss you.
465
00:34:42,210 --> 00:34:43,777
Yeah, yeah,
that's fine, whatever.
466
00:34:43,864 --> 00:34:46,519
Um, I'm sorry you're sick.
467
00:34:46,606 --> 00:34:48,477
- Thanks.
- It's just..
468
00:34:48,564 --> 00:34:50,610
I just really
wanna see you, you know?
469
00:34:50,697 --> 00:34:53,830
And I wanna, I wanna kiss you
and I wanna be with you.
470
00:34:53,917 --> 00:34:55,876
- Mm.
- Sexually.
471
00:34:55,963 --> 00:34:57,269
Oh.
472
00:34:57,356 --> 00:34:59,314
I just really
wanna see you tonight!
473
00:34:59,401 --> 00:35:02,926
Yeah, I-I know, but I think
it'll be out of my system soon.
474
00:35:04,493 --> 00:35:05,712
I love you!
475
00:35:06,800 --> 00:35:08,323
What?
476
00:35:08,410 --> 00:35:09,977
I fucking love you, girl.
477
00:35:10,064 --> 00:35:12,110
'I love you!'
478
00:35:12,197 --> 00:35:13,981
Wow.
479
00:35:14,068 --> 00:35:15,504
Okay, I get it,
you're sick, bye!
480
00:35:19,421 --> 00:35:21,684
- That was weird.
- Huh?
481
00:35:24,774 --> 00:35:29,257
He was just acting
super weird. I don't know.
482
00:35:29,344 --> 00:35:33,348
- Sara, you gotta tell him.
- Are you kidding?
483
00:35:33,435 --> 00:35:35,350
We are almost home free,
why would I tell him?
484
00:35:35,437 --> 00:35:38,745
Oh, my God,
like 100 reasons!
485
00:35:38,832 --> 00:35:40,094
How do we know that
he still doesn't have something
486
00:35:40,181 --> 00:35:42,749
inside of him, in his nards?
487
00:35:42,836 --> 00:35:44,838
Uh, 'cause it's inside me now.
488
00:35:44,925 --> 00:35:46,274
Okay, or, you know,
how 'bout the fact
489
00:35:46,361 --> 00:35:48,363
that the father should step up,
maybe?
490
00:35:48,450 --> 00:35:50,844
Why does Skyler
get a free pass?
491
00:35:50,931 --> 00:35:53,455
You're perpetuating some
serious patriarchal bullshit.
492
00:35:53,542 --> 00:35:55,762
This is not the time
for a free the nipple uprising.
493
00:35:55,849 --> 00:35:59,157
Sorry, but this all
started with Skyler, right?
494
00:36:00,636 --> 00:36:03,117
What am I missing?
495
00:36:03,204 --> 00:36:04,597
You've never had a boyfriend.
496
00:36:04,684 --> 00:36:06,468
You wouldn't understand.
497
00:36:16,522 --> 00:36:17,914
Ready?
498
00:36:26,749 --> 00:36:29,448
You okay?
499
00:36:29,535 --> 00:36:33,191
Uh, sure. I've just never done
this on a human before.
500
00:36:36,063 --> 00:36:37,325
Uh..
501
00:36:38,718 --> 00:36:40,502
Sorry, it's gotta reach
the uterus.
502
00:36:41,808 --> 00:36:44,724
Uterotonic
can induce contractions
503
00:36:44,811 --> 00:36:47,030
and ultimately labor.
504
00:36:47,117 --> 00:36:49,642
- Uh-huh.
- 40cc's..
505
00:36:51,426 --> 00:36:52,906
A little more.
506
00:36:57,084 --> 00:36:58,520
Little more.
507
00:37:02,176 --> 00:37:03,612
Oh, baby.
508
00:37:07,660 --> 00:37:09,052
Okay.
509
00:37:21,021 --> 00:37:22,631
Here we go.
510
00:38:12,420 --> 00:38:14,161
- Push!
- I did.
511
00:38:14,248 --> 00:38:16,555
- Push harder!
- Why didn't it work?
512
00:38:16,642 --> 00:38:18,861
- Dave!
- I don't know, it should've.
513
00:38:18,948 --> 00:38:21,037
It must've hung on.
514
00:38:21,124 --> 00:38:23,692
You-you're saying
it wants to stay inside?
515
00:38:23,779 --> 00:38:25,825
The uterotonic, give me more!
516
00:38:25,912 --> 00:38:28,218
- I can't!
- Why not?
517
00:38:28,306 --> 00:38:30,569
Because this is dangerous stuff
518
00:38:30,656 --> 00:38:32,266
and if I gave any more
519
00:38:32,353 --> 00:38:35,051
it would risk terminating
the pregnancy altogether.
520
00:38:36,879 --> 00:38:39,012
I realized what I said
521
00:38:39,099 --> 00:38:40,796
as soon as it came out
of my mouth.
522
00:38:40,883 --> 00:38:42,581
I'll get some more.
523
00:38:45,497 --> 00:38:47,629
God, why would it
want to stay inside?
524
00:38:47,716 --> 00:38:49,849
Maybe it's waiting
for something.
525
00:38:51,067 --> 00:38:52,199
For what?
526
00:38:56,203 --> 00:38:57,509
The other guy?
527
00:39:11,784 --> 00:39:14,090
Oh, fart.
528
00:39:14,177 --> 00:39:16,136
Hey, me and Harris, and Alyssa
529
00:39:16,223 --> 00:39:18,704
we're going down to Toto's
for some margaritas!
530
00:39:18,791 --> 00:39:21,228
- Ooh! Ooh!
- Are you interested?
531
00:39:21,315 --> 00:39:24,492
Oh, that sounds amazing,
but I think I'm gonna go home
532
00:39:24,579 --> 00:39:26,102
and get ignored
by my daughter instead.
533
00:39:29,758 --> 00:39:31,194
Alright, well,
I'm gonna go get drunk.
534
00:39:31,281 --> 00:39:33,936
Okay. You have fun!
535
00:39:35,285 --> 00:39:36,896
Be safe!
536
00:39:50,170 --> 00:39:51,432
Hello?
537
00:39:52,781 --> 00:39:54,000
What?
538
00:39:55,349 --> 00:39:56,742
What?
539
00:39:58,657 --> 00:39:59,571
She's what?
540
00:40:20,679 --> 00:40:22,158
'I can't even believe you.'
541
00:40:22,245 --> 00:40:23,725
'I literally
cannot believe you!'
542
00:40:23,812 --> 00:40:24,944
Mom, it's not what you think.
543
00:40:25,031 --> 00:40:26,424
After everything we talked about
544
00:40:26,511 --> 00:40:28,600
you go and you have
unprotected sex?
545
00:40:28,687 --> 00:40:30,689
- You're not listening!
- She did, but--
546
00:40:30,776 --> 00:40:32,995
- Stay out of this, Hayley!
- It was one time!
547
00:40:33,082 --> 00:40:34,606
One's enough, Sara!
548
00:40:34,693 --> 00:40:37,086
- Obviously, forget college.
- Okay, ma'am, uh--
549
00:40:37,173 --> 00:40:39,175
Oh, you see these shows
where the girl gets pregnant
550
00:40:39,262 --> 00:40:40,699
and the mom doesn't notice
anything.
551
00:40:40,786 --> 00:40:42,178
How could you not notice?
552
00:40:42,265 --> 00:40:44,267
And here I am,
and I didn't notice.
553
00:40:44,354 --> 00:40:46,052
How couldn't I have noticed?
554
00:40:46,139 --> 00:40:48,141
Ma'am, I need to ask the
girls some questions about--
555
00:40:48,228 --> 00:40:50,186
Christ, Sare Bear. How could you
do this to yourself?
556
00:40:50,273 --> 00:40:53,015
- Oh, you're one to talk.
- Excuse me, young lady?
557
00:40:53,102 --> 00:40:56,105
- Don't young lady me.
- We're like, 15 years apart.
558
00:40:56,192 --> 00:41:00,109
Yes, Sara, I was just like you
and I screwed up my life!
559
00:41:00,196 --> 00:41:04,157
Okay, let's just, uh,
downshift here for a second.
560
00:41:04,244 --> 00:41:06,246
Ah, ma'am, do you wanna
step out with me?
561
00:41:06,333 --> 00:41:07,856
- But there's an alien--
- Alien. Right, I know.
562
00:41:07,943 --> 00:41:09,423
Ah, I don't believe you.
563
00:41:14,210 --> 00:41:16,778
- Hi.
- Uh, hi.
564
00:41:16,865 --> 00:41:18,824
You're being allowed
in that room as a courtesy.
565
00:41:18,911 --> 00:41:20,565
I have your daughter
at the scene of a serious crime
566
00:41:20,652 --> 00:41:22,175
and what you're doing right now,
it's not helping me
567
00:41:22,262 --> 00:41:23,698
and it's definitely not
helping your daughter.
568
00:41:23,785 --> 00:41:25,744
Don't, you don't get
to lecture me.
569
00:41:25,831 --> 00:41:27,746
Who do you think you are,
Officer Ruiz?
570
00:41:27,833 --> 00:41:29,791
You're so off base here,
it's crazy!
571
00:41:33,360 --> 00:41:36,058
You know you're like,
not supposed to touch me, right?
572
00:41:37,451 --> 00:41:39,801
This whole thing is effed.
573
00:41:39,888 --> 00:41:43,065
Yeah, it's kinda why
574
00:41:43,152 --> 00:41:45,633
I didn't wanna involve cops
in the first place.
575
00:41:45,720 --> 00:41:49,376
It is not my fault my parents
put a LoJack in my car.
576
00:41:49,463 --> 00:41:52,466
I know. Just saying.
577
00:41:58,907 --> 00:42:02,345
Sorry. It's just..
578
00:42:02,432 --> 00:42:05,435
My mom's so up her ass.
579
00:42:05,523 --> 00:42:08,177
And hey, where does she
get off yelling at you?
580
00:42:10,615 --> 00:42:14,053
She's really pulling
a Water Zone 2010, huh?
581
00:42:14,140 --> 00:42:16,751
"I went to get corn dogs
for you girls and you disappear?
582
00:42:16,838 --> 00:42:18,666
I had them
checking the parking lot."
583
00:42:18,753 --> 00:42:22,583
"Our home base
was the towels."
584
00:42:22,670 --> 00:42:24,280
You're scared right now, okay?
I get it.
585
00:42:24,367 --> 00:42:26,761
You're so condescending.
You have no idea what it's like!
586
00:42:26,848 --> 00:42:29,547
I have a daughter too.
She's in Tampa with her mom.
587
00:42:29,634 --> 00:42:32,985
She's only five, but if I were
in your shoes right now
588
00:42:33,072 --> 00:42:34,900
I would also be freaking.
589
00:42:34,987 --> 00:42:36,423
Right.
590
00:42:36,510 --> 00:42:38,033
But your daughter's scared too
591
00:42:38,120 --> 00:42:39,774
and she's fabricating
all of this alien stuff
592
00:42:39,861 --> 00:42:41,863
because she doesn't
wanna be judged.
593
00:42:41,950 --> 00:42:44,083
And the only way we're gonna
get some answers tonight
594
00:42:44,170 --> 00:42:47,390
is if we approach the situation
with understanding, okay?
595
00:42:51,525 --> 00:42:53,788
I'mma get a water.
You want a water?
596
00:42:53,875 --> 00:42:56,225
I mean,
your throat must be raw.
597
00:43:01,361 --> 00:43:03,972
Hey, aren't you supposed to be
helping Ruiz with those girls?
598
00:43:04,059 --> 00:43:05,931
After a cigarette.
599
00:43:06,018 --> 00:43:08,411
You know he said that
two cigarettes ago, right?
600
00:43:08,498 --> 00:43:11,110
- Did I?
- 'This guy.'
601
00:43:29,868 --> 00:43:34,437
Sara...I...was
out of line before.
602
00:43:34,524 --> 00:43:36,048
I overreacted.
603
00:43:38,354 --> 00:43:40,922
I just hate to see you
making the same, ugh..
604
00:43:42,794 --> 00:43:45,144
I'm sorry.
605
00:43:45,231 --> 00:43:47,537
Do you wanna tell me
and this officer what happened?
606
00:43:55,763 --> 00:43:58,331
I got pregnant
607
00:43:58,418 --> 00:44:02,335
and what I gave birth to
was an alien.
608
00:44:02,422 --> 00:44:03,902
Oh, dios mio!What happened
at that clinic, okay?
609
00:44:03,989 --> 00:44:05,425
We've told you
like, a million times!
610
00:44:05,512 --> 00:44:07,993
It's exactly what she said!
It's exactly--
611
00:44:08,080 --> 00:44:10,256
Everyone out, I need
everyone out for a second!
612
00:44:10,343 --> 00:44:12,127
- But--
- Out!
613
00:44:18,090 --> 00:44:19,657
Let's go, you.
614
00:44:52,733 --> 00:44:54,866
It's just you and me now, baby.
615
00:44:56,650 --> 00:45:00,045
Now, I know
you didn't hurt anyone.
616
00:45:00,132 --> 00:45:01,786
and we'll get that sorted out.
617
00:45:01,873 --> 00:45:07,095
But right now, I just wanna
talk to you about you.
618
00:45:07,182 --> 00:45:08,357
Whatever you're going through--
619
00:45:08,444 --> 00:45:10,490
Mom, you have no idea
620
00:45:10,577 --> 00:45:11,752
what you're talking about.
621
00:45:11,839 --> 00:45:13,101
I know what this feels like.
622
00:45:13,188 --> 00:45:15,364
I went through
the exact same thing.
623
00:45:15,451 --> 00:45:18,498
I just wanna make sure
you're not punishing yourself.
624
00:45:20,761 --> 00:45:23,590
Stop trying to help me!
625
00:45:23,677 --> 00:45:25,635
I don't need
an after school special.
626
00:45:25,723 --> 00:45:28,682
This is fucking worlds apart
from what you went through.
627
00:45:28,769 --> 00:45:31,554
I'm not gonna end up
all sad and lonely
628
00:45:31,641 --> 00:45:33,948
just, Jesus,
you make me wanna scream!
629
00:45:47,614 --> 00:45:50,182
Frankie, you okay?
630
00:46:03,151 --> 00:46:04,718
Told ya.
631
00:46:11,029 --> 00:46:13,248
Sir, are you aware
632
00:46:13,335 --> 00:46:15,816
there's a lobster on your neck?
633
00:47:11,785 --> 00:47:13,831
Holding cell,
lock yourselves in.
634
00:47:16,007 --> 00:47:17,573
Mom!
635
00:47:22,622 --> 00:47:25,103
Wait! Don't come in!
636
00:47:25,190 --> 00:47:27,453
- Dave?
- Just don't look.
637
00:47:27,540 --> 00:47:29,498
I got nervous
and had to deuce.
638
00:47:29,585 --> 00:47:32,545
- Nobody look!
- No one's gonna look.
639
00:47:32,632 --> 00:47:34,634
What the hell is going on, Sara?
What was that thing?
640
00:47:34,721 --> 00:47:36,941
Okay, so Sara had sex
as you know, duh, whatever.
641
00:47:37,028 --> 00:47:38,768
And then that thingy
came flying out of her vagina
642
00:47:38,856 --> 00:47:40,335
like a T-shirt cannon
and started chasing us
643
00:47:40,422 --> 00:47:42,294
and there's a second
one still inside Sara
644
00:47:42,381 --> 00:47:44,644
and the first one wants
the second one for some reason.
645
00:47:44,731 --> 00:47:46,515
- Got it?
- Uh, no.
646
00:47:46,602 --> 00:47:49,040
See, so maybe you
should've listened earlier.
647
00:47:49,127 --> 00:47:51,129
You guys.
648
00:47:54,523 --> 00:47:55,481
What, what's wrong?
649
00:47:55,568 --> 00:47:56,743
That thingy can hop off
650
00:47:56,830 --> 00:47:58,136
and come in through bars.
651
00:47:58,223 --> 00:47:59,528
We need a plan.
652
00:47:59,615 --> 00:48:00,660
We don't even know
what it wants.
653
00:48:00,747 --> 00:48:01,748
I've been thinking about that
654
00:48:01,835 --> 00:48:02,880
and I have a theory.
655
00:48:02,967 --> 00:48:04,664
Don't look!
656
00:48:04,751 --> 00:48:06,579
It's tracking you, right?
657
00:48:06,666 --> 00:48:08,320
Freaky deaky stuff.
658
00:48:08,407 --> 00:48:10,539
The question is, why?
659
00:48:10,626 --> 00:48:13,412
Now, this thing and its brother
are communicating
660
00:48:13,499 --> 00:48:15,066
from a great distance
661
00:48:15,153 --> 00:48:18,156
some kinda sonar, like a bat.
662
00:48:18,243 --> 00:48:20,549
Maybe radio waves
663
00:48:20,636 --> 00:48:22,856
gamma waves?
664
00:48:22,943 --> 00:48:26,947
No, uh, it's radio waves.
Probably radio waves.
665
00:48:27,034 --> 00:48:29,558
Yeah, science, science, science.
It already found us, Dave.
666
00:48:29,645 --> 00:48:31,952
So, this guy inside of you
is telling his buddy
667
00:48:32,039 --> 00:48:34,085
where you're at, why?
668
00:48:34,172 --> 00:48:36,000
Well, in the animal kingdom
669
00:48:36,087 --> 00:48:40,004
babies generally look
to their mama for one thing.
670
00:48:40,091 --> 00:48:42,963
It wants to breastfeed?
671
00:48:43,050 --> 00:48:46,488
It more wants to feed feed
672
00:48:46,575 --> 00:48:48,751
in general on you.
673
00:48:49,970 --> 00:48:51,667
Sorry.
674
00:48:54,757 --> 00:48:58,326
- But..
- Way too long a pause, Dave.
675
00:49:00,024 --> 00:49:01,939
The uterotonic is here.
676
00:49:02,026 --> 00:49:04,637
- Utero what, what?
- Mom, shut up!
677
00:49:04,724 --> 00:49:06,421
Where?
678
00:49:45,852 --> 00:49:48,637
'It's a massacre!'
679
00:49:48,724 --> 00:49:51,510
Everyone ready?
680
00:49:51,597 --> 00:49:53,120
Oh, my God! Ah!
681
00:49:58,256 --> 00:50:00,084
Ew!
682
00:50:00,171 --> 00:50:02,303
Oh, my God, you touched it,
you touched it!
683
00:50:12,444 --> 00:50:14,228
Hi.
684
00:50:14,315 --> 00:50:15,838
What the hell are you guys
doing here?
685
00:50:15,925 --> 00:50:17,971
We're going to get
the utero thing, to, um..
686
00:50:19,755 --> 00:50:22,193
I'm not really sure
I understand actually.
687
00:50:27,372 --> 00:50:28,764
That's funny.
688
00:50:28,851 --> 00:50:30,375
Oh!
689
00:50:46,956 --> 00:50:48,393
Oh!
690
00:50:53,050 --> 00:50:55,661
Give it at least a 100cc's,
ladies.
691
00:50:55,748 --> 00:50:58,185
- What're you talking about?
- Get to the evidence room.
692
00:50:58,272 --> 00:51:00,100
- But--
- Go!
693
00:51:07,586 --> 00:51:09,109
Groovy.
694
00:51:19,641 --> 00:51:20,947
'Uh..'
695
00:51:26,126 --> 00:51:27,649
Shit!
696
00:51:30,435 --> 00:51:32,785
Oh, God!
697
00:51:32,872 --> 00:51:34,265
Oh, shit!
698
00:51:35,527 --> 00:51:37,006
Uh..
699
00:51:40,575 --> 00:51:42,055
'Fire, fire!'
700
00:52:22,487 --> 00:52:23,966
No!
701
00:53:56,537 --> 00:53:58,191
'Sara?'
702
00:54:00,498 --> 00:54:02,369
'Sara?'
703
00:54:04,719 --> 00:54:06,286
You awake?
704
00:54:07,331 --> 00:54:08,723
My mom.
705
00:54:10,334 --> 00:54:11,987
I don't know.
706
00:54:12,074 --> 00:54:14,294
We gotta go find her.
707
00:54:14,381 --> 00:54:15,730
Yeah..
708
00:54:17,079 --> 00:54:19,691
...that's why we're here.
709
00:54:29,091 --> 00:54:31,833
God, you are good at this.
710
00:54:31,920 --> 00:54:33,574
Like really good at this.
711
00:54:33,661 --> 00:54:36,447
It's just hand eye
coordination from gymnastics.
712
00:54:36,534 --> 00:54:39,014
I hate it, but my mom
makes me do it, whatever.
713
00:54:39,101 --> 00:54:40,973
Oh, wow.
714
00:54:41,060 --> 00:54:43,715
She'll be right back.
715
00:54:43,802 --> 00:54:45,194
- Blair.
- Oh, hey!
716
00:54:45,282 --> 00:54:46,370
I told you to wait here for me.
717
00:54:46,457 --> 00:54:47,458
I was just--
718
00:54:47,545 --> 00:54:48,546
I don't care what you were just.
719
00:54:48,633 --> 00:54:50,069
Kick ass party, Kiana.
720
00:54:50,156 --> 00:54:52,811
Thanks, Jess,
you're so fucking sweet.
721
00:54:52,898 --> 00:54:55,292
I love you so much.
722
00:54:55,379 --> 00:54:56,945
Skyler bailed.
723
00:54:57,032 --> 00:54:59,165
Sara obvi called him
and told him to leave.
724
00:54:59,252 --> 00:55:00,775
She's so jealous, it's insane.
725
00:55:00,862 --> 00:55:02,516
Jealous of what?
726
00:55:02,603 --> 00:55:04,344
Me and Skyler's friendship.
We're friends.
727
00:55:04,431 --> 00:55:05,737
We're really,
really good friends.
728
00:55:05,824 --> 00:55:07,086
Like we could take a nap
together and it wouldn't
729
00:55:07,173 --> 00:55:09,131
mean anything,
you know what I mean?
730
00:55:09,218 --> 00:55:12,439
But Sara doesn't get that.
I mean, what's her problem?
731
00:55:12,526 --> 00:55:14,049
She's ruining his life,
he should be here.
732
00:55:14,136 --> 00:55:16,487
You should text him
and tell him to come back.
733
00:55:16,574 --> 00:55:19,968
Jesus, Blair, he's with Sara.
734
00:55:20,055 --> 00:55:22,406
Think before you speak.
735
00:55:22,493 --> 00:55:23,929
This is all so fucked!
736
00:55:24,016 --> 00:55:25,322
Sky, can I please just
talk to Hayley--
737
00:55:25,409 --> 00:55:27,628
I just saw
a bunch of dead cops, Sara!
738
00:55:27,715 --> 00:55:29,282
And I'm like, freaking out!
739
00:55:29,369 --> 00:55:31,632
- She's talking about aliens?
- It's complicated--
740
00:55:31,719 --> 00:55:33,982
This is like,
going to jail shit, Sara.
741
00:55:34,069 --> 00:55:36,028
I need to know what's goin' on!
742
00:55:40,772 --> 00:55:43,949
- We had sex.
- Yeah?
743
00:55:44,036 --> 00:55:45,907
I woke up pregnant.
744
00:55:47,561 --> 00:55:50,172
- Oh shit!
- Ugh!
745
00:55:50,259 --> 00:55:51,217
Are you sure?
746
00:55:51,304 --> 00:55:53,219
Then I gave birth
747
00:55:53,306 --> 00:55:55,613
to, um..
748
00:55:55,700 --> 00:55:58,093
...an alien.
749
00:55:58,180 --> 00:56:00,400
- Two aliens.
- Yeah.
750
00:56:01,706 --> 00:56:02,837
And they have my mom
751
00:56:02,924 --> 00:56:05,231
and I don't know where they are
752
00:56:05,318 --> 00:56:07,668
and...I don't know
753
00:56:07,755 --> 00:56:08,974
maybe the..
754
00:56:09,061 --> 00:56:12,586
Maybe you, like, know something?
755
00:56:14,109 --> 00:56:15,981
What the fuck
are you talking about?
756
00:56:16,068 --> 00:56:17,983
I know this is so much
to unload on you
757
00:56:18,070 --> 00:56:19,071
and I'm not like,
blaming you or anything.
758
00:56:19,158 --> 00:56:20,377
But it is definitely your fault.
759
00:56:20,464 --> 00:56:21,900
- Hayley!
- What's your whole thing, man?
760
00:56:21,987 --> 00:56:23,205
- You think I'm an alien?
- I don't know.
761
00:56:23,292 --> 00:56:24,424
That would make sense, right?
762
00:56:24,511 --> 00:56:25,904
You leave town
and come back different.
763
00:56:25,991 --> 00:56:27,471
Hayley, he's not an alien.
764
00:56:27,558 --> 00:56:29,777
You said it yourself at Dave's,
he's acting weird.
765
00:56:29,864 --> 00:56:31,431
- Hayley!
- What is she talking about?
766
00:56:31,518 --> 00:56:32,519
- No, I was just--
- Why are you defending him?
767
00:56:32,606 --> 00:56:33,607
I thought you wanted my help!
768
00:56:33,694 --> 00:56:36,088
Oh, my God, shut up!
769
00:56:39,787 --> 00:56:41,528
Hayley!
770
00:56:41,615 --> 00:56:45,053
Can I please just
have a second with him?
771
00:57:31,099 --> 00:57:32,710
I don't know, mother,
you know, maybe
772
00:57:32,797 --> 00:57:34,625
maybe I like being single, hmm?
773
00:57:34,712 --> 00:57:36,409
You ever consider that?
774
00:57:36,496 --> 00:57:38,629
After teaching all day,
all I wanna do
775
00:57:38,716 --> 00:57:40,239
is just curl up with a book
776
00:57:40,326 --> 00:57:43,024
a glass of milk,
an-and if I'm indulging
777
00:57:43,111 --> 00:57:44,852
yes, a cookie.
778
00:57:44,939 --> 00:57:46,680
Well, good for Florida.
779
00:57:46,767 --> 00:57:48,726
You know, but here
in the real world
780
00:57:48,813 --> 00:57:50,684
things are a little different.
781
00:57:50,771 --> 00:57:53,252
I mean, it's not like I'm just
gonna bump into the person
782
00:57:53,339 --> 00:57:55,297
I'm gonna spend the rest..
Oh!
783
00:57:55,384 --> 00:57:57,386
Oh, I-I am so sorry.
784
00:57:57,474 --> 00:57:58,649
I will pay for this.
785
00:57:58,736 --> 00:57:59,954
Damn it.
786
00:58:00,041 --> 00:58:01,565
Jesus!
787
00:58:07,266 --> 00:58:09,703
'No pets allowed here, lady.'
788
00:58:09,790 --> 00:58:12,010
'It's not a pet.'
789
00:58:15,448 --> 00:58:18,016
'Oh, my God! No, no!'
790
00:58:27,939 --> 00:58:30,898
Hayley's just like,
looking out for me.
791
00:58:32,334 --> 00:58:33,510
It's cool.
792
00:58:35,424 --> 00:58:36,948
Yeah, so..
793
00:58:38,602 --> 00:58:39,907
...like..
794
00:58:40,865 --> 00:58:43,694
...do you know anything?
795
00:58:43,781 --> 00:58:46,131
No, obviously!
796
00:58:46,218 --> 00:58:47,611
Okay.
797
00:59:10,677 --> 00:59:13,637
- What're you doing?
- I'm consoling you.
798
00:59:13,724 --> 00:59:16,378
No, no, seriously,
something is going on with you.
799
00:59:16,465 --> 00:59:19,077
I'm just trying
to be supportive, God!
800
00:59:19,164 --> 00:59:21,470
You need to tell me
what happened in Mexico.
801
00:59:21,558 --> 00:59:23,603
Nothing,
I just chilled poolside
802
00:59:23,690 --> 00:59:25,823
did that bullshit Spanish
assignment.
803
00:59:25,910 --> 00:59:28,173
- Sipped Pina Coladas.
- That's it?
804
00:59:34,962 --> 00:59:37,356
- What is that thing?
- It's a souvenir thing.
805
00:59:37,443 --> 00:59:40,272
It's nothing, okay?
You're just overreacting.
806
00:59:42,927 --> 00:59:45,494
I'm just trying to help.
807
00:59:47,540 --> 00:59:49,368
I know, I just..
808
00:59:50,630 --> 00:59:53,024
...I wanted you to have answers.
809
00:59:59,247 --> 01:00:01,423
I'm gonna get you some tissues.
810
01:00:13,131 --> 01:00:14,828
He's trying to help.
811
01:01:03,442 --> 01:01:06,880
That piece of shit, I knew it!
812
01:01:06,967 --> 01:01:08,403
You called him out
on that thing and he freaked.
813
01:01:08,490 --> 01:01:10,623
It's gotta mean something.
814
01:01:10,710 --> 01:01:13,800
Well, you really heard
everything, huh?
815
01:01:16,281 --> 01:01:18,283
It's a really thin door.
816
01:01:19,893 --> 01:01:21,590
So, what do we do?
817
01:01:21,678 --> 01:01:25,116
He mentioned
his summer homework, whatever.
818
01:01:25,769 --> 01:01:27,553
Right?
819
01:01:29,250 --> 01:01:31,862
Senorita Thompson
thinks he has dyslexia
820
01:01:31,949 --> 01:01:34,212
so he's allowed to make
a video essay, I don't know.
821
01:01:34,299 --> 01:01:36,040
Oh, so maybe there's something
about that thing
822
01:01:36,127 --> 01:01:38,390
on his computer.
823
01:01:38,477 --> 01:01:41,132
Yeah, that's what
I'm looking for.
824
01:01:41,219 --> 01:01:43,134
Yeah, no, I..
825
01:01:45,789 --> 01:01:47,181
Yeah.
826
01:01:49,227 --> 01:01:50,358
Just get it together, bro.
827
01:01:50,445 --> 01:01:52,273
Just get outta dodge.
828
01:01:52,360 --> 01:01:54,667
You're fine.
829
01:01:59,498 --> 01:02:00,455
'Favorite hits'
830
01:02:00,542 --> 01:02:01,848
'that was The Funkosexuals'
831
01:02:01,935 --> 01:02:03,894
'with "Let's Funk",
stick around.'
832
01:02:03,981 --> 01:02:07,419
'This next one's guaranteed
to get you all moist.'
833
01:02:07,506 --> 01:02:11,815
'Mattress so soft and warm.'
834
01:02:11,902 --> 01:02:13,555
'Mm.'
835
01:02:16,297 --> 01:02:19,039
'Pondering Mind on KCEW'
836
01:02:19,126 --> 01:02:23,130
'with me today is novelist,
poet, political activist'
837
01:02:23,217 --> 01:02:25,089
'and former adult film star..'
838
01:02:25,176 --> 01:02:27,265
Oh, come on!
839
01:02:36,013 --> 01:02:38,232
Yeah, there's nothing
in his dad's study either
840
01:02:38,319 --> 01:02:39,799
just a bunch of signed
U2 posters.
841
01:02:39,886 --> 01:02:41,801
Couldn't leave it alone,
could you?
842
01:02:41,888 --> 01:02:45,326
Just, just needling him, Jesus.
843
01:02:45,413 --> 01:02:47,372
What're we talking about
right now?
844
01:02:47,459 --> 01:02:51,071
My mom's out there somewhere
with fucking aliens, Hayley
845
01:02:51,158 --> 01:02:52,986
and you just scared off
our only chance of finding her.
846
01:02:53,073 --> 01:02:54,640
Wait! Hold up,
you're blaming me?
847
01:02:54,727 --> 01:02:55,772
I mean,
you kept going after him.
848
01:02:55,859 --> 01:02:56,903
What did you expect to happen?
849
01:02:56,990 --> 01:02:58,949
Sara, Skyler left
850
01:02:59,036 --> 01:03:01,168
'because he couldn't man up
and take responsibility'
851
01:03:01,255 --> 01:03:02,779
but we'll figure this out, okay?
852
01:03:02,866 --> 01:03:05,607
How? How, how do we fix this?
853
01:03:05,694 --> 01:03:09,307
I don't know, but we can..
I don't know, we'll, we'll--
854
01:03:09,394 --> 01:03:11,178
Skyler was the answer
and now he's gone!
855
01:03:11,265 --> 01:03:12,527
- That's what I've been--
- And it's ruined!
856
01:03:12,614 --> 01:03:14,965
Forget Skyler.
857
01:03:15,052 --> 01:03:17,271
We have made it this far
by ourselves, right?
858
01:03:17,358 --> 01:03:20,622
- We will find a solution.
- Oh, my God.
859
01:03:20,709 --> 01:03:22,842
Are you like, so naive
that you think
860
01:03:22,929 --> 01:03:26,063
we're just gonna go back
to being best friends?
861
01:03:26,150 --> 01:03:28,717
Is that why you've been trying
to break me and Skyler up?
862
01:03:28,805 --> 01:03:30,850
So you can like, win me back?
863
01:03:30,937 --> 01:03:34,158
What are you talking about?
This is insane!
864
01:03:34,245 --> 01:03:36,464
I've spent this whole night
trying to help you.
865
01:03:36,551 --> 01:03:39,598
And you love it,
every second of it
866
01:03:39,685 --> 01:03:41,208
making me feel like shit.
867
01:03:41,295 --> 01:03:42,862
"This is why you wear a condom.
868
01:03:42,949 --> 01:03:44,864
You really should make
better life choices."
869
01:03:44,951 --> 01:03:46,648
Well, you should. Sorry.
870
01:03:46,735 --> 01:03:49,042
You understand this is why
we're not friends, right?
871
01:03:49,129 --> 01:03:50,957
We're not friends 'cause
you ditched me sophomore year
872
01:03:51,044 --> 01:03:52,219
when you got boobs before me.
873
01:03:52,306 --> 01:03:53,438
No, we're not friends
874
01:03:53,525 --> 01:03:55,962
'cause you're a judgy bitch.
875
01:03:56,049 --> 01:03:57,268
I'm gonna be honest with you
876
01:03:57,355 --> 01:03:59,313
because you can't do it
for yourself.
877
01:03:59,400 --> 01:04:01,576
If you were not so obsessed
878
01:04:01,663 --> 01:04:02,969
with keeping your fake ass
world spinning
879
01:04:03,056 --> 01:04:05,667
and had one ounce
of self-respect
880
01:04:05,754 --> 01:04:07,321
this whole night
would've never happened
881
01:04:07,408 --> 01:04:09,846
and your mom wouldn't be dead.
882
01:04:14,851 --> 01:04:16,678
I don't need this shit.
883
01:04:18,028 --> 01:04:20,160
♪ She don't gotta be minus ♪
884
01:04:20,247 --> 01:04:22,467
♪ My girl
looking like a goddess ♪
885
01:04:22,554 --> 01:04:24,730
♪ Afro daddy in the projects ♪
886
01:04:24,817 --> 01:04:26,427
♪ That bitch shining
like August ♪
887
01:04:26,514 --> 01:04:28,168
♪ She's a goddess ♪
888
01:04:28,255 --> 01:04:29,256
♪ And she's a freak with it ♪
889
01:04:29,343 --> 01:04:30,431
♪ She's a goddess ♪
890
01:04:30,518 --> 01:04:31,476
♪ And she's a freak with it ♪
891
01:04:31,563 --> 01:04:32,781
♪ She's a goddess ♪
892
01:04:32,869 --> 01:04:33,870
♪ And she's a freak with it ♪
893
01:04:33,957 --> 01:04:35,045
♪ She's a goddess ♪
894
01:04:35,132 --> 01:04:36,394
♪ And she's a freak with it ♪
895
01:04:36,481 --> 01:04:38,178
♪ Ol' Lucas in the mansion ♪
896
01:04:38,265 --> 01:04:40,659
♪ Zeus couldn't
even buy the fan ♪
897
01:04:40,746 --> 01:04:42,922
♪ All girls around
call me handsome ♪
898
01:04:43,009 --> 01:04:45,359
♪ Makin' bubba's pop
like Hanson ♪
899
01:04:45,446 --> 01:04:47,753
♪ I don't like to work
make my neighbors irk ♪♪
900
01:05:29,273 --> 01:05:31,840
You found it.
901
01:05:31,928 --> 01:05:34,843
I'm waiting
on this idiot driver.
902
01:05:38,456 --> 01:05:41,894
It's locked so..
903
01:05:46,551 --> 01:05:50,294
My brother does like, tech stuff
904
01:05:50,381 --> 01:05:53,558
for this home security
company, you know.
905
01:05:53,645 --> 01:05:55,516
Do you think he'd help?
906
01:05:59,085 --> 01:06:00,478
Okay.
907
01:06:01,827 --> 01:06:03,176
Thanks.
908
01:06:07,354 --> 01:06:08,877
Car's outside.
909
01:07:08,198 --> 01:07:10,156
Madre Vista Police Department.
910
01:07:15,335 --> 01:07:19,948
Well, if it isn't the two
biggest nerds in Madre Vista.
911
01:07:20,036 --> 01:07:22,516
You literally have tape
on your glasses.
912
01:07:22,603 --> 01:07:24,736
Yeah, on the side,
it's different.
913
01:07:24,823 --> 01:07:26,651
- Oh, okay.
- Oh, okay.
914
01:07:26,738 --> 01:07:28,740
- Oh, okay.
- Oh, okay.
915
01:07:28,827 --> 01:07:30,611
- Idiot!
- Idiot!
916
01:07:36,182 --> 01:07:37,792
- Whose is it?
- Jerome.
917
01:07:37,879 --> 01:07:41,187
- My ex's.
- Mm-hmm.
918
01:07:41,927 --> 01:07:43,668
Revenge.
919
01:07:45,104 --> 01:07:47,454
Tell me about this dude.
He's right here?
920
01:07:47,541 --> 01:07:51,371
- Yeah, Skyler Cole.
- Ugh, sounds like a douche.
921
01:07:51,458 --> 01:07:53,199
- Water polo?
- Lacrosse.
922
01:07:53,286 --> 01:07:54,592
Hmm.
923
01:07:57,290 --> 01:07:59,466
Are you like, hacking into it?
924
01:07:59,553 --> 01:08:00,946
No, I'm guessing his password.
925
01:08:01,033 --> 01:08:03,470
It's usually some combo
of farts and boobs
926
01:08:03,557 --> 01:08:06,038
and yeah, boobfart69.
927
01:08:07,735 --> 01:08:09,302
Oh, shit, okay.
928
01:08:09,389 --> 01:08:11,957
Oh, uh, wh-whoa!
929
01:08:12,044 --> 01:08:13,219
Oh, shit!
930
01:08:13,306 --> 01:08:14,568
Uh, shit!
931
01:08:22,315 --> 01:08:24,056
That was pornography.
932
01:08:37,939 --> 01:08:40,551
Oh, my God.
933
01:08:40,638 --> 01:08:44,555
HolaSenorita Thompson,
from Mexico.
934
01:08:44,642 --> 01:08:47,123
I wanna thank you
from the bottom of my heart
935
01:08:47,210 --> 01:08:49,777
for allowing me to do this
extra credit assignment
936
01:08:49,864 --> 01:08:52,432
despite my crippling dyslexia.
937
01:08:52,519 --> 01:08:55,783
I deserve an Ah in your class.
938
01:08:57,872 --> 01:08:58,830
I know.
939
01:09:05,750 --> 01:09:08,056
Chilling poolside
with my lame ass dad.
940
01:09:08,144 --> 01:09:11,582
Get some pina coladas!
Emilio, chicken fingers.
941
01:09:11,669 --> 01:09:13,410
Let's just..
942
01:09:22,332 --> 01:09:24,508
- Wait!
- Antique Mayan sword.
943
01:09:24,595 --> 01:09:26,031
A macuahuitl.
944
01:09:26,118 --> 01:09:28,338
It was basically used
by the ancient Mayans
945
01:09:28,425 --> 01:09:31,036
to fight off their enemies,
not only physical
946
01:09:31,123 --> 01:09:33,299
but also spiritual.
947
01:09:33,386 --> 01:09:34,692
'The lady my dad
bought this from'
948
01:09:34,779 --> 01:09:36,911
'says it possesses great power'
949
01:09:36,998 --> 01:09:40,306
maybe even derived
from an ancient spirit.
950
01:09:42,830 --> 01:09:46,399
It's leading me,
I-I-I can't control it!
951
01:09:46,486 --> 01:09:48,009
Skyler, what the fuck
are you doing?
952
01:09:48,096 --> 01:09:50,751
- Get out of here, get out!
- I'm sorry.
953
01:09:50,838 --> 01:09:54,451
- Come on, I'm taking a shit!
- 'I'm going away, going away.'
954
01:09:54,538 --> 01:09:59,412
Whoa, whoa, um, I can't! Oh!
955
01:09:59,499 --> 01:10:02,589
Dad, I really, I can't control
it! I can't control it!
956
01:10:02,676 --> 01:10:03,938
Give it!
957
01:10:12,338 --> 01:10:13,470
Wait!
958
01:10:13,557 --> 01:10:14,558
My parents dragged me to this
959
01:10:14,645 --> 01:10:16,124
museum of anthropology
960
01:10:16,212 --> 01:10:18,170
so, here I am
961
01:10:18,257 --> 01:10:20,738
learning during the summer,
like an idiot.
962
01:10:20,825 --> 01:10:22,305
As you can see
this room is filled
963
01:10:22,392 --> 01:10:25,133
with various artifacts
of an expressive nature.
964
01:10:25,221 --> 01:10:26,961
'Some of which anthropologists
believe'
965
01:10:27,048 --> 01:10:28,615
to be devoted to fertility.
966
01:10:30,487 --> 01:10:33,054
This is the most amazing art
I've ever seen.
967
01:10:36,144 --> 01:10:40,192
The Mayans were geniuses,
and this is in a museum.
968
01:10:40,279 --> 01:10:43,543
I mean, the level of detail.
969
01:10:44,457 --> 01:10:46,677
Whoa!
970
01:10:46,764 --> 01:10:50,420
Now, I'm Mayan too.
Ooh, yeah!
971
01:10:50,507 --> 01:10:52,509
- No.
- Whoo!
972
01:10:52,596 --> 01:10:54,032
'Fuck!'
973
01:10:54,946 --> 01:10:57,253
Okay, okay, okay.
974
01:10:57,340 --> 01:11:00,168
Okay, that's okay, that's okay.
975
01:11:00,256 --> 01:11:01,735
I'll just..
976
01:11:07,698 --> 01:11:10,701
'Now if you can exit this way,
you'll find yourself..'
977
01:11:14,313 --> 01:11:16,272
Oh, my God.
978
01:11:34,333 --> 01:11:36,422
Oh, Lord.
979
01:11:37,380 --> 01:11:38,946
Psst.
980
01:11:45,039 --> 01:11:46,824
- Thank you, thank you officer.
- It's inside?
981
01:11:46,911 --> 01:11:49,435
- I-I-I don't, I don't know.
- Alright, that's okay.
982
01:11:49,522 --> 01:11:50,828
Can you tell me
what happened in there?
983
01:11:50,915 --> 01:11:52,569
I mean,
what's all the pink stuff?
984
01:11:52,656 --> 01:11:56,181
I-I-I'm a li-little frazzled.
985
01:11:56,268 --> 01:11:58,531
Okay, um
986
01:11:58,618 --> 01:12:00,228
is there anything
you wanna tell me
987
01:12:00,316 --> 01:12:02,056
before I go in there?
988
01:12:03,319 --> 01:12:05,321
I'll never forget the screams.
989
01:12:08,585 --> 01:12:11,327
Okay, okay.
990
01:13:19,046 --> 01:13:21,309
Well, that's not great.
991
01:13:31,363 --> 01:13:33,321
What the hell is that?
992
01:13:33,409 --> 01:13:37,369
I think this thing says
your baby boy is growing up.
993
01:13:37,456 --> 01:13:40,067
Great.
994
01:13:40,154 --> 01:13:41,460
What's next, Skyler?
995
01:13:41,547 --> 01:13:43,636
Go sit down,
your mother and I are not ready.
996
01:13:47,423 --> 01:13:49,163
Oh, another one!
997
01:13:52,036 --> 01:13:54,734
'They're fighting each other.'
998
01:13:54,821 --> 01:13:56,214
Wait.
999
01:13:58,129 --> 01:14:01,001
They're not fighting..
1000
01:14:01,088 --> 01:14:03,003
'...they're...'
1001
01:14:03,090 --> 01:14:08,052
- Fucking.
- I think it's a girl.
1002
01:14:08,139 --> 01:14:10,358
- 'She's gonna get--'
- Pregnant.
1003
01:14:11,403 --> 01:14:13,405
This is gonna spread.
1004
01:14:13,492 --> 01:14:15,625
But whoever drew these things
beat the thingies
1005
01:14:15,712 --> 01:14:17,931
because they were alive
at the end, right?
1006
01:14:18,018 --> 01:14:22,327
They made this, like,
Ikea manual for how to win.
1007
01:14:22,414 --> 01:14:24,460
If there's anymore drawings.
1008
01:14:26,505 --> 01:14:28,159
Oh, there!
1009
01:14:36,776 --> 01:14:40,563
- Don't love that.
- No.
1010
01:14:40,650 --> 01:14:43,391
The female's turning
into a giant spider thingy
1011
01:14:43,479 --> 01:14:44,828
and our only solution
is to, like
1012
01:14:44,915 --> 01:14:47,700
torch everything
and kill everyone?
1013
01:14:47,787 --> 01:14:49,485
My mom doesn't stand a chance.
1014
01:14:51,574 --> 01:14:54,751
The girl is turning
into a spider monster thingy.
1015
01:14:54,838 --> 01:14:57,449
If it's in its cocoon,
i-it's parked somewhere
1016
01:14:57,536 --> 01:14:59,669
and if we find the cocoon,
we find your mom
1017
01:14:59,756 --> 01:15:03,194
and we just kill these thingies
before they eff, boom!
1018
01:15:03,281 --> 01:15:05,805
Yeah, but, how are we
supposed to find the cocoon?
1019
01:15:05,892 --> 01:15:08,591
Ah, shit! Ow!
1020
01:15:08,678 --> 01:15:10,506
Dammit that burns,
that burns!
1021
01:15:10,593 --> 01:15:13,378
That burns, that burns.
1022
01:15:13,465 --> 01:15:15,772
'Interesting.
Yes, they have, sir.'
1023
01:15:15,859 --> 01:15:17,730
Thank you very much,
Mr. Harrington.
1024
01:15:20,298 --> 01:15:21,691
So..
1025
01:15:23,997 --> 01:15:26,565
There have been a few alarms
that have gone off tonight.
1026
01:15:26,652 --> 01:15:29,481
Some around the clinic,
some around that farm
1027
01:15:29,568 --> 01:15:31,701
and some at that
the police station.
1028
01:15:31,788 --> 01:15:32,745
Told you!
1029
01:15:32,832 --> 01:15:34,486
But..
1030
01:15:34,573 --> 01:15:37,054
...there haven't been any
in the passed few hours.
1031
01:15:37,141 --> 01:15:38,490
What the hell?
1032
01:15:38,577 --> 01:15:41,580
Is that normal
for this time of night?
1033
01:15:41,667 --> 01:15:46,454
Yeah, totally. I mean...yeah.
1034
01:15:46,542 --> 01:15:47,847
What?
1035
01:15:48,848 --> 01:15:50,981
Nothing, nothing.
1036
01:15:52,635 --> 01:15:54,506
- What was it? You idiot!
- 'It's nothing!'
1037
01:15:54,593 --> 01:15:56,290
There's just one place
that hasn't set their alarm
1038
01:15:56,377 --> 01:15:58,554
at closing and they usually do.
1039
01:16:31,151 --> 01:16:32,370
Sorry, the store is closed.
1040
01:16:32,457 --> 01:16:33,458
Please, just never call here
again.
1041
01:16:33,545 --> 01:16:35,721
Hello?
1042
01:16:35,808 --> 01:16:37,723
- Hello?
- Oscar?
1043
01:16:37,810 --> 01:16:40,291
- Sara?
- You're alive?
1044
01:16:40,378 --> 01:16:43,686
Oh, yeah, you too? Yay!
1045
01:16:43,773 --> 01:16:44,948
Wait, is that the cop
from the barns?
1046
01:16:45,035 --> 01:16:47,428
- Shut up, Jerome!
- Who's Jerome?
1047
01:16:47,515 --> 01:16:48,908
It doesn't matter.
1048
01:16:48,995 --> 01:16:50,431
- Is my mom there?
- Is your mom there?
1049
01:16:50,518 --> 01:16:53,217
- Wait, what?
- She's not there with you?
1050
01:16:53,304 --> 01:16:55,001
I don't know, she's, uh..
1051
01:17:00,703 --> 01:17:03,836
We'll take my car.
If we do this, we go hard.
1052
01:17:03,923 --> 01:17:06,230
I can't have you guys chickening
out at the last second.
1053
01:17:07,884 --> 01:17:09,494
Oh, you two little shit..
1054
01:17:22,072 --> 01:17:26,076
Just so you know, I wasn't gonna
shoot the propane. Bad idea.
1055
01:17:26,163 --> 01:17:27,599
I-I didn't even know that you
were in there, obviously
1056
01:17:27,686 --> 01:17:29,122
because then..
1057
01:17:34,345 --> 01:17:36,216
Well, it wouldn't have
killed her.
1058
01:17:39,480 --> 01:17:41,352
Wouldn't have killed her.
1059
01:17:43,049 --> 01:17:44,921
She's gonna be okay.
1060
01:17:51,188 --> 01:17:52,580
Oh!
1061
01:18:23,916 --> 01:18:25,701
What the hell?
1062
01:18:54,512 --> 01:18:57,689
No, no, I-I don't understand.
1063
01:19:00,344 --> 01:19:03,216
Those things are out there
1064
01:19:03,303 --> 01:19:05,741
and they're gonna eff
and we're screwed.
1065
01:19:07,568 --> 01:19:09,745
You work your whole life
to get in a college
1066
01:19:09,832 --> 01:19:13,400
an-and the world just ends.
1067
01:19:14,662 --> 01:19:16,752
And it doesn't even matter.
1068
01:19:19,580 --> 01:19:23,236
Oh, my God,
I have never been to Japan.
1069
01:19:23,323 --> 01:19:25,673
Holy shit!
1070
01:19:29,242 --> 01:19:32,637
What do these thingies need
to complete their life cycle?
1071
01:19:32,724 --> 01:19:34,291
High school hotties?
1072
01:19:34,378 --> 01:19:36,119
They need people to eff, right?
1073
01:19:36,206 --> 01:19:37,424
- Right?
- Okay.
1074
01:19:37,511 --> 01:19:38,643
So we know
they're looking for sex
1075
01:19:38,730 --> 01:19:40,079
'like, a lot of sex.'
1076
01:19:40,166 --> 01:19:41,951
They're out there right
now sniffing around
1077
01:19:42,038 --> 01:19:44,388
fo-for pheromones or gamma rays
or whatever
1078
01:19:44,475 --> 01:19:46,651
all leading to like..
1079
01:19:46,738 --> 01:19:50,786
- An orgy?
- Yeah! Kind of.
1080
01:19:50,873 --> 01:19:53,310
Well, where are we gonna
find an orgy in Madre Vista?
1081
01:19:53,397 --> 01:19:55,616
You mean like a big,
sweaty group of people
1082
01:19:55,703 --> 01:19:57,662
ready to go to the bone zone?
1083
01:19:59,272 --> 01:20:02,014
- Kiana's party!
- There's a party?
1084
01:20:02,101 --> 01:20:04,190
Oh, yeah, sorry.
1085
01:20:04,277 --> 01:20:05,670
No, it's cool, but, oh, shit!
1086
01:20:05,757 --> 01:20:06,671
Kiana's party,
that's gotta be it.
1087
01:20:06,758 --> 01:20:08,194
We don't have a lot of time
1088
01:20:08,281 --> 01:20:09,892
if the whole party gets gassed
we'll have 100
1089
01:20:09,979 --> 01:20:12,851
Skyler level horndogs
making 200 thingies and..
1090
01:20:12,938 --> 01:20:15,419
Math will happen.
1091
01:20:15,506 --> 01:20:18,422
So, the plan is, get to Kiana's.
1092
01:20:18,509 --> 01:20:20,337
- Evacuate the party.
- Take out the thingies.
1093
01:20:20,424 --> 01:20:23,383
- Stop the baby gas.
- Save my mom.
1094
01:20:23,470 --> 01:20:25,951
Save the world.
1095
01:20:26,038 --> 01:20:27,735
Shit, yeah.
1096
01:21:13,259 --> 01:21:15,696
- Wait, wait, wait!
- What?
1097
01:21:23,661 --> 01:21:25,315
Your butt's kinda hanging out.
1098
01:21:25,402 --> 01:21:27,795
Oh, thanks.
1099
01:21:34,498 --> 01:21:36,500
- Shall we? Okay.
- Yep.
1100
01:21:46,249 --> 01:21:47,946
Uh..
1101
01:21:52,342 --> 01:21:53,865
Aliens!
1102
01:21:58,783 --> 01:22:00,654
Aliens are coming!
1103
01:22:03,135 --> 01:22:05,659
Um, cops!
1104
01:22:05,746 --> 01:22:07,661
Cops, yes!
1105
01:22:07,748 --> 01:22:11,013
Guys, guys, we gotta bail!
5-0 rolling up any minute.
1106
01:22:11,100 --> 01:22:12,492
No, they're not.
1107
01:22:12,579 --> 01:22:13,667
The neighbors have been
calling 'em all night.
1108
01:22:13,754 --> 01:22:15,278
But they haven't shown up yet.
1109
01:22:15,365 --> 01:22:17,628
Probably 'cause they're busy
jerking it.
1110
01:22:17,715 --> 01:22:20,631
Cody, shut the fuck up!
1111
01:22:20,718 --> 01:22:22,372
Okay, alright, yeah.
1112
01:22:22,459 --> 01:22:25,375
They're not coming
because they're all dead.
1113
01:22:25,462 --> 01:22:27,943
- Whoo!
- Whoo!
1114
01:22:28,030 --> 01:22:29,379
No, just, ugh.
1115
01:22:29,466 --> 01:22:30,946
Everyone needs
to get out of here.
1116
01:22:31,033 --> 01:22:32,730
Where's Kiana?
1117
01:22:42,261 --> 01:22:44,916
Oh, you idiot.
1118
01:22:46,526 --> 01:22:48,964
- Did you finish?
- Good knocking, asshole.
1119
01:22:49,051 --> 01:22:50,574
- Sara?
- Did you finish?
1120
01:22:50,661 --> 01:22:53,142
- I thought you weren't coming!
- I don't care, Kiana.
1121
01:22:53,229 --> 01:22:56,145
Skyler, did you finish?
1122
01:22:56,232 --> 01:22:58,277
No, Sara, I didn't finish,
alright?
1123
01:22:58,364 --> 01:23:00,976
So can you get out?
1124
01:23:01,063 --> 01:23:04,457
What the hell, Sara?
1125
01:23:04,544 --> 01:23:06,024
Okay, seriously, everyone
needs to get out of here.
1126
01:23:06,111 --> 01:23:08,592
What are you doing?
You're being a crazy person.
1127
01:23:08,679 --> 01:23:10,289
He doesn't like you, Kiana.
1128
01:23:10,376 --> 01:23:11,856
He's just turning into
some kinda sex freak.
1129
01:23:11,943 --> 01:23:13,771
Come on, this energy's so right.
1130
01:23:13,858 --> 01:23:15,468
Let's just do it
in front of everyone!
1131
01:23:15,555 --> 01:23:18,123
You are all junked up
with alien sex gas, you idiot.
1132
01:23:18,210 --> 01:23:20,038
Hi, who the fuck are you again?
1133
01:23:20,125 --> 01:23:22,388
She's with me.
1134
01:23:22,475 --> 01:23:26,349
Forget about them.
Kiana, I love you.
1135
01:23:29,308 --> 01:23:30,875
Well, fine!
1136
01:23:30,962 --> 01:23:33,660
Sara, babe, I'm sorry.
1137
01:23:33,747 --> 01:23:35,053
Let's just do it.
1138
01:23:35,140 --> 01:23:36,098
It'll be like old times
1139
01:23:36,185 --> 01:23:37,490
in front of all of these people.
1140
01:23:39,492 --> 01:23:42,017
This is why we broke
up in the first place.
1141
01:23:42,104 --> 01:23:43,714
I'm sick of begging!
1142
01:23:43,801 --> 01:23:46,456
Somebody better fuck me right..
1143
01:23:50,242 --> 01:23:52,723
Skyler!
1144
01:23:52,810 --> 01:23:54,942
Okay, truth bomb.
1145
01:23:55,030 --> 01:23:57,902
I had sex for the first time
the other night.
1146
01:23:57,989 --> 01:23:59,599
Okay, yeah, whatever.
1147
01:23:59,686 --> 01:24:02,994
The point is
I gave birth tonight.
1148
01:24:03,081 --> 01:24:07,520
Yeah, and what I gave birth
to was fucking aliens.
1149
01:24:09,392 --> 01:24:11,742
One hundred percent
not playing, okay.
1150
01:24:11,829 --> 01:24:13,483
So seriously,
everyone needs to clear out
1151
01:24:13,570 --> 01:24:15,485
because they are coming..
1152
01:24:17,443 --> 01:24:19,054
...right..
1153
01:24:20,751 --> 01:24:21,969
...now!
1154
01:24:38,421 --> 01:24:40,771
Ugh, Kiana.
1155
01:24:40,858 --> 01:24:42,686
Now I'm gonna have to
kick your ass.
1156
01:25:18,243 --> 01:25:20,506
No problem, man.
1157
01:26:08,032 --> 01:26:09,425
Whoa.
1158
01:26:21,698 --> 01:26:23,090
No, no, no, no!
1159
01:26:30,924 --> 01:26:33,231
Just so you know,
I had no idea about Skyler
1160
01:26:33,318 --> 01:26:36,452
and I really
value our friendship.
1161
01:26:36,539 --> 01:26:39,324
I'm too high to move!
1162
01:27:06,221 --> 01:27:07,700
Um..
1163
01:27:22,672 --> 01:27:24,282
Hayley?
1164
01:27:29,026 --> 01:27:30,680
Hayley?
1165
01:28:37,616 --> 01:28:39,270
So, what's our plan?
1166
01:28:40,315 --> 01:28:43,492
Save my mom, save the world.
1167
01:28:43,579 --> 01:28:46,408
You're not going by yourself,
you could die.
1168
01:28:47,800 --> 01:28:49,106
Maybe.
1169
01:28:51,238 --> 01:28:53,328
But I'm the one
who started all this.
1170
01:28:56,113 --> 01:28:57,680
Sara!
1171
01:29:48,861 --> 01:29:50,210
Mom!
1172
01:29:51,037 --> 01:29:52,822
Sara?
1173
01:30:11,362 --> 01:30:13,190
I'm so sorry, mom.
1174
01:30:13,277 --> 01:30:14,713
Oh, Sare Bear.
1175
01:30:14,800 --> 01:30:16,889
You have nothing
to be sorry about.
1176
01:30:20,676 --> 01:30:22,025
Uh..
1177
01:30:26,551 --> 01:30:28,031
Uh..
1178
01:30:31,556 --> 01:30:33,428
Okay.
1179
01:30:33,515 --> 01:30:35,168
Let's just..
1180
01:30:41,653 --> 01:30:43,438
Okay, okay.
1181
01:31:18,211 --> 01:31:19,865
Oh, shit!
1182
01:31:23,434 --> 01:31:25,088
Oh, shit!
1183
01:32:22,711 --> 01:32:25,061
Plan B!
1184
01:32:39,771 --> 01:32:42,208
- What's up?
- Sup?
1185
01:32:58,398 --> 01:33:01,097
'I'm just saying, you deserve
a little more vacation'
1186
01:33:01,184 --> 01:33:03,360
okay, daddy, take a few days
1187
01:33:03,447 --> 01:33:05,405
take a week even, I'll be fine.
1188
01:33:05,492 --> 01:33:07,407
Take a month.
1189
01:33:07,494 --> 01:33:10,759
No, I know you can't
actually take a month.
1190
01:33:10,846 --> 01:33:13,631
My gymnastics career is ruined.
1191
01:33:13,718 --> 01:33:16,286
My mom is gonna be so angry.
1192
01:33:21,030 --> 01:33:23,336
Is it over?
1193
01:33:23,423 --> 01:33:25,469
Hey, hey, is it over?
1194
01:33:25,556 --> 01:33:28,167
- Oh, hey.
- Hi.
1195
01:33:28,254 --> 01:33:30,213
Listen, d-do you wanna
go out with me?
1196
01:33:30,300 --> 01:33:32,345
- Yeah. Uh, yeah.
- Yeah?
1197
01:33:32,432 --> 01:33:34,521
I realize this is probably an
awkward time to be doing this.
1198
01:33:34,609 --> 01:33:36,306
'Also, I crashed my car'
1199
01:33:36,393 --> 01:33:38,743
'it's kinda hard to drive
with one eye.'
1200
01:33:38,830 --> 01:33:43,574
So, this is what
parties are like?
1201
01:33:43,661 --> 01:33:47,056
Yeah, but the monsters
are usually way bigger.
83211
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