All language subtitles for Perfect.Harmony.S01E11.Know.When.to.Walk.Away.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb-eng

- Any news?

Are you pregnant?

- I don't know. I just peed.

- On a stick?

- No, in the toilet
and a little on the seat.

Okay, look,
the minute I take that test,

our lives
are gonna change forever.

So I just wanna put
that off for a little while

and enjoy my life the way it is.

- You don't needto take a test.

I can feel it in my bonesthat
my bone did the job.

- Oh, Wayne.

- Man, you weren't kidding
about that seat.

- Got more donationsfor
the rummage sale Saturday.

- Ooh, I hope there's something
good in there.

If it's another
severed doll head,

I'm gonna scream.

There's just not a market
for them anymore.

- Yeah, who would paya quarter for this?

- That's mine.

Okay, uh, you're late.

- What? How do you know?

- Uh, 'cause clocks?

Let's get started.

Please?
- Oh, baby.

- What's he doing here?
I don't do children's choirs.

- I was hoping he could get
a little singing practice.

- Yeah, I'm gonna compete

in the Conley Fork's
Finest pageant.

- Ah, "finest."

Perfect word to use

when excellence is out of reach.

- It's your traditional
teen boy pageant

that was forced
to allow girls to compete.

- I have a really good chance
at winning this year.

- Just don't get
your hopes up too high.

You definitely deserve it.

It's just that the most
deserving person

doesn't always win.

- Don't discourage him.

Anything is possible.

You reach for the stars,
and you might not get 'em,

but at least you won't end up
with a handful of mud.

- That cannot be what you meant.

- Uh, now,
Wayne does have a point.

Winner is always some kid
who grew up

with a silver spoon
in his mouth.

- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.

Only plastic spoons
for us, baby.

- Ooh, I wonder who got
the golden invitation

to be a judge this year.

- Wait, did you say
"golden invitation"?

I got one yesterday.

- Where is it?

- How do they know
where you live?

Choir: ♪ Hallelujah,
Thine the glory ♪

♪ Revive us again

- How could you throw it away?

- I thought it was
a jury summons.

- But it's on gold paper.

- Well, I thought they were
trying to impress me.

- Also, you can't throw away
a jury summons.

- Is there anything good
for the church rummage sale?

You know what they say.

One man's trashis another man's...

It's just so manytoenail clippings.

How many toes do you have?

- Found it!

- Oh, baby,
you didn't think twice

about pulling something gross
out of the garbage.

I worry that's on me.

- "Dear Dr. Cochran,

"we cordially invite you
to serve as a judge

"for the 57th annual
Conley Fork's Finest pageant.

"We are impressed
by your advanced degrees

and impressive career"...

- They said "impressed" twice,
but I don't mind.

- "but mostly because
you're the only person in town

"to have
your own Wikipedia page.

Wow."

That's their "wow," not mine.

But I do agree.
It's pretty gosh darn cool.

- Oh, great.

Another elitist snob
on the judging panel.

- I grew up just like you

but with a less stupid accent.

But I made it
to the top of my field.

I... I believe in people

pulling themselves up
by their bootstraps.

- I think you mean
"boob-straps."

- I absolutely do not.

- See?

With Arthur as a judge,

Cash definitely has a chance.

- Now, if I do this,
I have to be impartial.

Cash gets nopreferential treatment.

- Well, you may not be able
to be swayed by Cash...

- No, no, no.

- But maybe
you can be swayed by...

Cash!

- Ooh!
- Look how cute he is.

- Ooh!
- Does nothing for me.

- ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey

all: ♪ Who's the finest kid
in town? ♪

♪ I am, I am

♪ Who will win
the shiny crown? ♪

♪ You can bet it's me

- Cassius Clay Hawlings.

- Look at our littleman up
there, so excited.

- Blake Lake, Jr.

- Yeah, he doesn't know
what's gonna hit him.

You know that Blake Lake, Jr.
Kid is gonna win.

Someone from his family
wins every year.

- Will you
just let Cash enjoy this?

This might be the last time
he has in the spotlight

before the new baby comes,

and then he has to play
second fiddle.

- That's why I killed my twin
in the womb.

Statute of limitations.
You can't turn me in.

All: ♪ Gonna make you proud

♪ Gonna lead the way

♪ If invaders come to town

♪ We'll stop them, hooray

Hey!

- Well, welcome.

These fine young boys and girl
are competing

to find out who
is Conley Fork's finest.

Let's meet our
distinguished judges, shall we?

Belinda Sue Walton.

She's a beauty consultant

and University of Kentucky
applicant.

- Thank you.

- Podcaster and former winner
of this very pageant,

Mr. Torsten VanBlaricum.

- Cherish this time,
boys and girl.

Cherish it.

- And famous choir director,

Mr. Arthur Cochran.

- "Doctor."

- Deliver a baby and we'll talk.

- This is a great choice.

It'll go great
with that sweater.

Just don't wear it
to church, okay?

Okay.

- You ready to run our play?

- Are we sure we wanna
capitalize on the rumor

that you, uh, allegedly...

- Murdered my husband? Why not?

It keep the brunchesand
the group texts at bay.

And it helps the churchmake some money.

- Good,
because Ms. Mae over there

never misses
an episode of "Dateline."

- Ooh.

Are you stilltaking donations?

I'd like to get ridof this old hammer.

Only used onceand wiped clean afterward.

- I'll give you $40 for that.

$50 if it's still gother fingerprints.

- $60 and you have a deal.

- It's an honor to shape
young minds, isn't it?

- Forget about minds.
It's strength that matters.

Who can withstand
torture or probing?

- Probing?

- It's when you stick
something up...

- Yeah, yeah, I know...

I know what probing is.

What does... what does that
have to do with this?

- In 1963, Americans
went to outer space.

Well, in Conley Fork, we asked,

"What if space came to us?"

In case of an alien landing,
we needed a representative

to greet the extraterrestrials,

hence Conley Fork's Finest.

- So the plan is to send a child

to confront the alien invasion?

- They're less threatening.

- Of course, no one still
believes that stuff.

- During the interview round,

the contestants
will be asked the question,

"Why should the aliens
spare Conley Fork?"

- Thank you
for that excellent question.

- What kind of aliens
are we talking about?

- Look how we've destroyed
the environment.

Do we even deserve to be spared?

- I'd like to answer in dance.

- fertile soil
is rich in nitrogen,

which is essential
to most life-forms.

- And they're gonna be like,
"We come in peace."

And I'm gonna be like...

"You're gonna have
to go through me."

- All right! That is my son!

Blast 'em back to hell, sweetie!

- I know Jesus
would give a stranger

the shirt off his back,

but this one's not for sale.

You know what?

Good enough for Jesus;
good enough for me.

- Karl, what are you doing here?

Other than making me fight
impure thoughts in a church?

- I got a guy who wants to buy
your husband's necktie.

Now, he's offered $10,
but I think I can get $20

if I imply
you strangled him with it.

- What?
- You know.

The whole "Adams murdered
her husband" thing.

- No, I don't know aboutthe
husband or the murder.

- Oh, well, just forget
I said anything.

- I was previously married.

- Oh, I gathered.Yeah.

How's he doing these days?

- Oh, he's good.

He's dead.

- Oh, man,
this is more nerve-racking

than a DUI checkpoint.

Cash'll be crushed if he loses.

- Would you relax?

Cash is doing great,

and Arthur is a beaconof
fairness and reason.

It says soin his email signature.

- Here are the scores
from our first round.

First up, Cassius Clay Hawlings.

Ms. Belinda Sue Walton...

Mr. VanBlaricum...

and Mr. Dr. Cochran.

- He gave Cash a six?
- He gave Cash a six!

- I mean, boo!

You're a six!

Not you or you but you, Arthur!

You're actually a four.

- How could you give Cash a six?

- I know the scale
is one to ten,

but they said six
was the lowest we could go

without making the kids cry.

- I thought you saidyou were gonna be fair.

I thought this wasbased on merit.

- Well, if it was
based on merit,

he would have gotten a three.

- Cash wants this so badly,
and he spoke from the heart.

- Shouldn't that be enough?

I mean, why would anyonebring
a child into a world

that doesn't rewardheart-speaking?

- You had me at,

"Why would anyone bring a child
into the world?"

- A few years ago,

my husband, Keith,
went on a fishing trip,

and he didn't come back.

So now everyone in town
assumes I killed him

and fed his body to the catfish.

Blah, blah, blah.

- I don't understandhow
you can joke about this.

- It's not a joke.
Catfish are carnivores.

That'd be how I did it...

If I'd done it...

which I didn't.

Or did I?

I didn't.

I don't know what this game is,

but I want a relationshipwhere we can talk.

So call me when you're ready.

- Uh, this might be a bad time,

but there's a guy that'll
give the church 20 bucks

if you pose for a selfie with
him and a roll of duct tape.

- Gimme that duct tape.

- Bottom line.

- ♪ On a warm summer's eve

♪ On a train bound
for nowhere ♪

♪ I met up with a gambler

♪ We were both
too tired to sleep ♪

♪ So we took turns a-starin'
out the window ♪

- Kid is amazing.
He could actually win this.

- What if he doesand
success goes to his head

and then he turnsto drugs and alcohol?

We'd be so upper middle class.

- ♪ ...he said son,
I've made a life ♪

♪ Out of reading
people's faces ♪

♪ Knowin'
what their cards were ♪

♪ By the way
they held their eyes ♪

♪ So if you don't mind
me saying ♪

- I should call my buddy,
Dookie, and place a bet on him.

- Bettin' on children?
Back to working class.

- ♪ ...for a taste
of your whiskey ♪

♪ I'll give you some advice

♪ You've got to know
when to hold 'em ♪

- When to hold 'em!

- ♪ Know when to fold 'em

- When to fold 'em.

- ♪ Know when to walk away

- When to walk away...

Nope, that's not
a sing-along part.

- ♪ You never count
your money ♪

♪ When you're sittin'
at the table ♪

♪ There'll be time enough
for countin' ♪

♪ When the dealing's done

- Go Cash!
- He did so good!

- I love you, baby!
- Wow!

He just made that up?

It's so good.

- Eight?
Did you hear that voice?

- I need to leave some roomin
case anyone else is better.

- Well, I don't... I don't see
how anybody could be better.

- I-I'm embarrassed

for the person I was
45 seconds ago.

That kid is much better.

- Cash, baby, what are you doing out here?

The next round'sgonna start soon.

- Unless...

Are you entering
from the audience

like "The Price Is Right"?

- What?
No, Dad.

Blake Lake, Jr.
Is kicking my butt

worse than those
seventh-grade girls do.

- Listen, all you have to
dois believe in yourself.

Imagine you'rethe only kid up there,

and you're notsharing the spotlight

or your room with anybody.

Make today the best dayof your entire life!

- He's gone.

You gotta stop encouraging him.

The world just isn't fair.

- Oh, no. I don't accept that.

There's gotta be a waywe can help Cash win.

- Well, I think
what you're talking about

is cheating.

Eh?

- You may have putmy
credit score in the 400s,

but it's nice to have
youaround for the shady stuff.

- I may no longer
be your husband,

but I'll always be your scumbag.

- Okay, I'm gonna seeif
I can convince Torsten

to give Cash a higher score.

- I'll work on Arthur.

Call us the grounds crew

'cause we're about to
level the playing field.

- Whoo.

- Ooh, my hammies are burning.

Glad it's not my pee, though. Am I right?

- Can we not make small talk
when we're both exposed

in a room built for children?

- Oh, you're playing itlike that, huh?

I think it would bea real shame

if something were to
happento that boat of yours.

Say someone broke the engine?

- The engine's already broken.

A squirrel lives in there.

- Shame if something
were to happen

to that squirrel, though.

- Are you threatening me, Wayne?

- I'm trying to,
but it's hardwhen you don't have anything

that's valuableor that you love.

Oh, come on, man.

Ginny's gonna be pissed as hellif
I don't get you to help us.

- Ginny's involved?

Did she instruct you
to do a terrible job?

Was peeing the entire time
part of the plan?

- Oh.

Hope there'sno hard feelings.

- You've gotta be kidding.

- You're right.

- I asked you here becausel
accidentally overheard

your conversation with Karl.

That was a lie. I was eavesdropping.

Today's my moral cheat day.

- Well, then today's
my social niceties cheat day.

So get to the damn point.

- I've often bitten my tongue

watching you besmirchyour own reputation,

but I'd hate to see itgetting in the way

of a promising relationship.

- The way I choose to grieve
the loss of my husband

is nobody's business.

- Or is that justsomething you say

when you don't wanna
let anybody get too close?

I'm sorry.
Perhaps I've overstepped.

- No.

You're not wrong about that.

Just sometimes I think...

You know it's wintertimeoutside, right?

Sorry.

High beams.

Continue.

- It's always been hard
for meto let people in.

So having people thinkl'm a murderer

is a very effective wayof keeping them out.

- If you're running into
this problem with Karl,

you're gonna run into it again

with the next Karl

and the next Karl.

To be clear, I'm not talking
about three men named Karl.

It's symbolic for...
- Got it, man.

And now I thinkhis name is weird.

- So on your podcast,

you interview other winners
of the Conley Fork's Finest?

That is fascinating.

What's it called
and how do I subscribe?

- It's called "Tour de Torsten,"

and I don't know.

- Don't fall for it.

She's just trying to get
her kid a higher score.

- I knew it was weird

that somebody was talking to me.

- Mother warned me about women.

- What the hell'sgoing on with you?

- I just...

I really,
really want Cash to win

so he believes
that the world is a fair place.

- So you wanna show your son

that the world is fairby cheating?

- It's like this trampoline.

The more advantages
somebody is born with,

the more springs they have.

So they bounce
really, really high,

and everybody thinks
that they're God's gift.

But if you don't have money
for piano lessons, well...

You take away a spring.

You're born in the wrong place?

Take away another spring.

You have to share your toys
with your younger sibling

because your mom got horny for
her snake-tatted ex-husband.

Well, how many
do we take off for that?

- Hang on. Hang on.

Wait, are you pregnant?

- Wayne and I, we did a little backsliding,

and I mightbe a little pregnant.

But I'm just not readyto take the test.

- You know you don't
have to study for it.

- Arthur, my life is just
spiraling out of control.

And I just...
I wanted to give Cash

one really great moment
before his whole world changes.

- Tell you what...

I will do whatever I can

to make sure Cash wins.

- What happened to being
fair and impartial?

It just occurred to me

that I am judging a contest

to see which kid getsto
meet the space alien,

and so, I thought maybe I
couldcome down off my high horse...

for Cash.

- Well, thank you.

- Ladies and gentlemen,
for his athletic portion,

Blake Lake, Jr. has brought
a special certain UK mascot

to help him out.

- No way.
- It's Scratch!

- Oh...

Ugh.

Hey. Psst!

Hey.

I... I know I just tried
to bribe someone,

but he's actually trying
to buy the contest.

I mean,
that's not the real Scratch,

but still,
fake Scratch ain't free.

- Yeah, what does... what
does that have to do

with athletic ability?
- Ugh.

- Blake Lake, Jr.
Will now jump over Scratch

and dunk a basketball.

- I actually kind ofwanna see that.

- What? Ugh.
- Can this kid actually dunk?

- Well, he's usinga mini trampoline,

as did eightprevious pageant winners.

Not I.I did a baton routine.

- You think it'sthe same mini trampoline?

- I mean, it's a public school.

How many mini trampolines
do you think they have?

- We should reallysay something.

- We should definitely
say something.

- Absolutely. No doubt.
Crowd: Three... two...

- Right?
Crowd: One!

- Oof.
- Scratch!

- Oh, my God, Arthur.

Arthur, we sabotaged a child.

- "We"?

I don't recalltouching any springs.

- Mom, what are you
talking about?

You didn't do that, did you?

- Of course I didn't do it...

On purpose... I don't think.

- Shame about Blake Lake, Jr.,
but with him out of the way,

you're the odds-on favorite.

- How about another round
of applause

for our kids?

One of our contestants
would like to say something.

Cash?

- Blake Lake, Jr.
Was going to win,

and it's not his fault
he got hurt.

So I think...

- I'll compete in his place.

It's my duty
as a former finest boy.

- Uh, I just thought
that we should say he wins?

- Yeah!
- Okay.

Well, what do the judges say?

- Uh, yes.
Yes, with no hesitation

and absolutely nothing
weighing on my conscience.

Yes.

- We have a winner.

Blake Lake, Jr.!

- ♪ There he is

♪ Our finest son

♪ He is brave and smart

♪ The finest one

- God, I should have
killed myself

when I had the chance.

- He turned out pretty good, didn't he?

- Yeah.
He's going places.

- Maybe having another
childwouldn't be the worst idea.

Time to pee on a stick.

- Hey...

maybe aim for the seat
and you'll hit the stick.

- Glad you called me.

Unless you're gonna
murder me too.

Do I get to make those jokes?
- It's fun, isn't it?

- Yeah.

Listen, I like you, and you're right.

We should be ableto talk about anything...

That happensoutside of the bathroom.

- Oh yeah, we're not there yet.
- We'll never be there.

And I do wanna tell youabout Keith.

I just need a little more time.

- Take all the time you need.
I'm here for you.

I'll call you later, yeah?
- Yeah.

- Okay.

- Keith, we need to talk.

I was wrong.

I'm not pregnant.

- Oh.

Well, I'm not gonna lie.

Part of me is disappointed.

- Aw.

Oh, hey, sweetie.
- Hey, son.

I am so proud of you.

You chose fairnessover an easy win,

and in my eyes,
you willalways be Conley Fork's finest.

- Yeah, and he's smart too.
- Mm-hmm.

- Blake Lake, Jr. paid out
eight-to-one odds.

Spend it all in one place.
Screw the haters.

- You bet against your own son?

- No, it was his idea.

When Blake Lake, Jr. got hurt,

he had the brilliant idea
to bet against him.

- What?

That's when I threw the contest.

Do the right thing
and make some bank.

- That is your son.

- Darn right he is.

- I need a shot.

- Hey, buddy, can I borrow
some money?