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1
00:00:03,093 --> 00:00:04,771
You should
consider yourself lucky.
2
00:00:04,832 --> 00:00:06,814
A couple short months,
you're gonna be a brother.
3
00:00:06,902 --> 00:00:08,144
Why is that lucky?
4
00:00:08,238 --> 00:00:10,830
Why is that lucky? Well, whoever
it is, you're can have fun with.
5
00:00:10,926 --> 00:00:12,081
You can spend
a whole weekend saying,
6
00:00:12,168 --> 00:00:13,317
"Hey, why are you
hitting yourself?
7
00:00:13,404 --> 00:00:14,958
- Stop hitting yourself."
- Quit it! Quit it! - Dad.
8
00:00:15,045 --> 00:00:17,024
- No, stop...
- Quit it! Ow! -Dad?
9
00:00:17,207 --> 00:00:19,754
- Hi.
- Stop it! Stop hitting yourself!
10
00:00:19,854 --> 00:00:21,706
I don't know
what's wrong with you.
11
00:00:22,580 --> 00:00:24,816
Mandy used to hit herself, too.
12
00:00:25,646 --> 00:00:27,064
I'm gonna go set up
the hockey goal.
13
00:00:27,152 --> 00:00:28,237
And then I'll teach you
about noogies.
14
00:00:28,324 --> 00:00:30,309
I'm good at this.
Yeah, my brother, eight years old,
15
00:00:30,396 --> 00:00:33,277
had a bald spot from
all the rubbing.
16
00:00:34,637 --> 00:00:35,889
- Hi, Grandma.
- Hi, sweetie.
17
00:00:35,976 --> 00:00:38,371
Well, guys,
how was the baby shower?
18
00:00:38,473 --> 00:00:40,838
Amazing.
But it wasn't a shower.
19
00:00:40,926 --> 00:00:42,120
- It was a sprinkle.
- Oh.
20
00:00:42,207 --> 00:00:44,493
Which is a smaller get-together
you do before the shower.
21
00:00:44,580 --> 00:00:45,790
Everybody's doing them.
22
00:00:45,877 --> 00:00:48,840
"Before shower."
So, uh, BS.
23
00:00:49,066 --> 00:00:50,535
Look, we took so many pictures.
24
00:00:50,623 --> 00:00:52,449
- Look at all the pictures!
- Oh, yeah, yeah. -Kristin looks so cute.
25
00:00:52,536 --> 00:00:53,525
- Want to see?
- Oh, my God. And then...
26
00:00:53,613 --> 00:00:55,208
Yeah, show him. Look, here,
she's wearing this little hat...
27
00:00:55,295 --> 00:00:56,865
You know what,
you know what?
28
00:00:56,953 --> 00:00:59,621
How about I just look at her,
she's right here. Look at that.
29
00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:02,295
You know what? Fine. I'll
just... I'll put them online,
30
00:01:02,382 --> 00:01:03,395
and you can look at them later.
31
00:01:03,482 --> 00:01:05,408
You know, when you used to have
to pay for film,
32
00:01:05,503 --> 00:01:07,363
every photo wasn't
an event, right?
33
00:01:07,451 --> 00:01:09,988
My birth photo
and my graduation from college...
34
00:01:10,090 --> 00:01:12,024
Same roll of film.
35
00:01:12,715 --> 00:01:13,801
Yeah, you know what?
36
00:01:13,889 --> 00:01:15,738
That's the big crisis
facing the planet.
37
00:01:15,826 --> 00:01:17,926
Too much joy-sharing.
38
00:01:19,902 --> 00:01:23,155
Uh, uh-oh, looks like Boyd
is tangled in the hockey net.
39
00:01:23,243 --> 00:01:24,863
- Oh. You gonna get get him?
- No.
40
00:01:24,951 --> 00:01:26,965
Ha-ha, but I am gonna
get a picture.
41
00:01:28,923 --> 00:01:30,308
You know what?
I am having
42
00:01:30,396 --> 00:01:32,291
- the best time with Kristin.
- Yeah?
43
00:01:32,379 --> 00:01:33,854
And you want to hear
the most exciting part?
44
00:01:33,941 --> 00:01:36,487
- Mm-hmm?
- She wants a gender reveal party.
45
00:01:36,910 --> 00:01:38,938
Yay, more parties.
46
00:01:39,152 --> 00:01:41,954
You know, I would throw
the best party ever.
47
00:01:42,042 --> 00:01:43,629
Now, that video would go viral.
48
00:01:43,825 --> 00:01:46,957
"Go viral." Remember when
that used to mean a high fever,
49
00:01:47,045 --> 00:01:49,321
severe itching,
and body sores?
50
00:01:49,692 --> 00:01:51,566
I miss those days.
51
00:01:52,526 --> 00:01:54,526
*LAST MAN STANDING*
Season 08 Episode 04
52
00:01:54,614 --> 00:01:56,769
*LAST MAN STANDING*
Title: "You've Got Male"
53
00:01:57,012 --> 00:01:59,012
Sync corrections by srjanapala
54
00:02:00,293 --> 00:02:01,460
- Hey, Dad.
- Hey.
55
00:02:01,547 --> 00:02:04,636
- Got a sec?
- Yeah. For you, 30 seconds.
56
00:02:05,207 --> 00:02:07,777
But for my grandchild,
all the time in the world.
57
00:02:07,865 --> 00:02:09,238
Mm-huh
58
00:02:09,504 --> 00:02:11,196
Good.
Uh, I wanted to talk to you
59
00:02:11,283 --> 00:02:13,043
about the gender reveal party.
60
00:02:13,131 --> 00:02:15,058
Put me down for plus-none.
61
00:02:15,745 --> 00:02:19,074
Right. Um, so the person
in charge of the gender reveal
62
00:02:19,162 --> 00:02:21,254
has a lot of responsibility.
63
00:02:21,376 --> 00:02:25,840
Sure. Let's see, do we buy
pink confetti or blue confetti?
64
00:02:25,928 --> 00:02:28,590
It's just like Eisenhower
during D-Day.
65
00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:30,582
Yeah.
66
00:02:30,670 --> 00:02:32,754
And much like D-Day,
the hardest part
67
00:02:32,842 --> 00:02:35,824
is keeping the secret
until the very last minute.
68
00:02:36,269 --> 00:02:38,856
Until then, only that person
and the doctor knows
69
00:02:38,943 --> 00:02:40,308
what is in here.
70
00:02:40,396 --> 00:02:42,768
You're worried about your mom
cracking and spilling the beans.
71
00:02:42,855 --> 00:02:46,136
Ah, you hit the nail
on that curly blonde head.
72
00:02:48,091 --> 00:02:50,254
Which is why, uh, Ryan and I
73
00:02:50,342 --> 00:02:52,949
would...
like to have you do it.
74
00:02:57,316 --> 00:02:59,285
You want me
to plan a party?
75
00:02:59,373 --> 00:03:01,449
Yeah... No, I know you think
that they're ridiculous
76
00:03:01,537 --> 00:03:03,937
- and you don't want to be there...
- I'll do it, I'll do it.
77
00:03:05,650 --> 00:03:07,900
Wh... I'm-I'm sorry?
I thought you hated parties.
78
00:03:07,988 --> 00:03:11,922
I hate parties.
But I love tormenting your mother.
79
00:03:13,382 --> 00:03:16,120
And me knowing something
80
00:03:16,207 --> 00:03:19,183
that she really wants to know
is gonna drive her crazy.
81
00:03:19,918 --> 00:03:22,294
Yeah, um, Dad, that's-that's
not really why we're asking you.
82
00:03:22,381 --> 00:03:23,624
I know, that's just a perk.
83
00:03:23,712 --> 00:03:24,955
Um...
84
00:03:25,761 --> 00:03:26,910
Wait, have you told her yet?
85
00:03:26,998 --> 00:03:28,829
- No.
- Don't, don't, don't, don't.
86
00:03:28,917 --> 00:03:30,393
Let me do it.
87
00:03:30,659 --> 00:03:32,951
I'm gonna savor
every minute of this.
88
00:03:33,039 --> 00:03:34,232
This is great.
89
00:03:34,320 --> 00:03:35,441
Don't look at me like that.
90
00:03:35,529 --> 00:03:37,732
She would do the same thing
to me.
91
00:03:37,969 --> 00:03:39,662
That's why we make
such a great couple.
92
00:03:40,630 --> 00:03:42,990
You have an odd marriage.
93
00:03:43,646 --> 00:03:45,076
Every relationship's
about power,
94
00:03:45,164 --> 00:03:47,982
and you just gave me
the nuclear codes.
95
00:03:52,654 --> 00:03:54,169
Oh, just the man
I'm looking for.
96
00:03:54,257 --> 00:03:56,386
Chuck, do you happen
to be free this weekend?
97
00:03:56,474 --> 00:03:58,693
I'm free! Count me in.
98
00:03:59,447 --> 00:04:00,786
You shouldn't agree
to do something
99
00:04:00,873 --> 00:04:02,074
before you know
what it is.
100
00:04:02,162 --> 00:04:03,988
That's easy for you
to say, Chuck.
101
00:04:04,075 --> 00:04:06,328
You're not lonely.
102
00:04:07,128 --> 00:04:09,889
Well, as you know, you know,
Bonnie's moving in with me
103
00:04:09,976 --> 00:04:12,212
after we're married,
and I'm remodeling a room
104
00:04:12,300 --> 00:04:14,153
- just for her.
- Oh, which room?
105
00:04:14,456 --> 00:04:16,315
The discotheque.
106
00:04:17,183 --> 00:04:19,003
I barely go in there,
so, you know...
107
00:04:19,378 --> 00:04:21,198
So you need somebody to, uh...
108
00:04:21,286 --> 00:04:22,512
To paint the place,
hang some shelves,
109
00:04:22,599 --> 00:04:25,737
and find a buyer for
a giant mirrored ball.
110
00:04:26,778 --> 00:04:29,019
- Let me think about it.
- You already said
111
00:04:29,107 --> 00:04:31,360
that you're free
and lonely, all right?
112
00:04:31,448 --> 00:04:33,323
Hard to walk that back.
113
00:04:34,472 --> 00:04:35,651
All right, I'm in.
114
00:04:35,796 --> 00:04:37,445
I'll do it for the disco ball.
115
00:04:37,533 --> 00:04:39,745
Perfect last touch
for my man cave.
116
00:04:40,198 --> 00:04:42,087
Sold, sold, sold.
There you go.
117
00:04:42,183 --> 00:04:43,054
Hey, wait a minute.
I didn't know
118
00:04:43,141 --> 00:04:45,460
we were asking for stuff.
I'd like a thousand dollars.
119
00:04:45,547 --> 00:04:48,870
Huh. How about I order you
a pizza?
120
00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:50,831
Done.
121
00:04:54,797 --> 00:04:56,612
Hey, Jen.
Is Vanessa around?
122
00:04:56,864 --> 00:04:58,558
I think she's upstairs.
123
00:04:58,646 --> 00:05:00,815
Okay. Little warning...
124
00:05:01,043 --> 00:05:03,212
you might want to put
your guard up around her
125
00:05:03,300 --> 00:05:04,378
until Saturday.
126
00:05:04,466 --> 00:05:05,501
Why?
127
00:05:05,589 --> 00:05:08,360
Get this: Kristin asked me
128
00:05:08,448 --> 00:05:11,229
to put on
the gender reveal party.
129
00:05:11,403 --> 00:05:13,283
It's gonna make
my beautiful, lovely wife
130
00:05:13,371 --> 00:05:15,696
go stark, raving mad.
131
00:05:16,811 --> 00:05:18,040
She asked you?
132
00:05:18,195 --> 00:05:19,897
But Vanessa was convinced
she would be the one
133
00:05:19,984 --> 00:05:21,666
trusted to do this
unpleasant task.
134
00:05:21,754 --> 00:05:23,509
I know...
135
00:05:25,898 --> 00:05:28,102
Your attitude is confusing.
136
00:05:28,399 --> 00:05:32,360
Is it some cultural difference
I don't understand,
137
00:05:32,539 --> 00:05:34,930
or are you just being
a jerk?
138
00:05:36,579 --> 00:05:38,415
Bingo.
139
00:05:40,128 --> 00:05:42,311
All she wants to know
is the gender of this kid
140
00:05:42,399 --> 00:05:43,493
before anybody else.
141
00:05:43,580 --> 00:05:45,790
But now only you will know
that secret.
142
00:05:46,009 --> 00:05:47,852
I know.
143
00:05:48,454 --> 00:05:50,337
So why do I need
to keep my guard up?
144
00:05:50,425 --> 00:05:52,119
She'll probably try to work you
for information.
145
00:05:52,206 --> 00:05:53,718
And you want to be
on the winning team.
146
00:05:53,805 --> 00:05:54,525
Hey.
147
00:05:54,629 --> 00:05:56,227
- Hey.
- Hey, Jen. Hi, honey.
148
00:05:56,330 --> 00:05:58,993
- Hi, baby.
- Uh, what winning team?
149
00:05:59,876 --> 00:06:01,988
The field hockey team
at school.
150
00:06:02,075 --> 00:06:03,691
They're a winning team.
I might try to join.
151
00:06:03,778 --> 00:06:04,712
Maybe I'll be a middle fielder,
152
00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:06,047
although Mr. Baxter thinks
I'll be more effective
153
00:06:06,134 --> 00:06:07,277
as an attacker,
like maybe right wing,
154
00:06:07,364 --> 00:06:08,559
and I'm going to take that
into consideration,
155
00:06:08,646 --> 00:06:10,837
but I really need
to finish my homework.
156
00:06:13,301 --> 00:06:16,665
Uh... how was your day?
157
00:06:18,149 --> 00:06:19,820
A little slower than that.
158
00:06:21,266 --> 00:06:23,719
I had a great day, actually.
Had a great lunch, hamburger,
159
00:06:23,807 --> 00:06:25,258
garlic fries;
oh, and Kris asked me
160
00:06:25,346 --> 00:06:26,919
to plan the gender reveal party.
161
00:06:27,751 --> 00:06:28,988
What?
162
00:06:29,075 --> 00:06:30,290
She asked you to do it?
163
00:06:30,407 --> 00:06:32,173
Yes, indeed.
164
00:06:32,580 --> 00:06:34,930
What?
I thought she was gonna ask me.
165
00:06:35,207 --> 00:06:37,563
Yeah. Well, now, I'm the only
one that's gonna know
166
00:06:37,651 --> 00:06:41,079
if we're gonna have a grandson
or a granddaughter.
167
00:06:44,613 --> 00:06:46,852
- Okay.
- Ha-ha.
168
00:06:47,218 --> 00:06:48,329
Wait,
wh... whoa-whoa-whoa.
169
00:06:48,417 --> 00:06:49,850
Is that how you're gonna
play this?
170
00:06:49,938 --> 00:06:51,571
Like you really don't
want to know?
171
00:06:51,712 --> 00:06:53,360
Honey. No, of course
I want to know,
172
00:06:53,448 --> 00:06:56,290
and I will know, at the party,
when everybody else does.
173
00:06:56,571 --> 00:06:58,290
But in the meantime,
I'm just gonna
174
00:06:58,378 --> 00:07:00,368
enjoy the excitement
building every day
175
00:07:00,456 --> 00:07:02,087
from now until then.
176
00:07:05,360 --> 00:07:07,649
She didn't seem upset
at all.
177
00:07:08,173 --> 00:07:09,844
No, she didn't.
178
00:07:10,821 --> 00:07:13,024
She came to play.
179
00:07:20,586 --> 00:07:22,047
- Hi, Vanessa.
- Hey.
180
00:07:22,219 --> 00:07:23,470
What are you doing?
181
00:07:23,558 --> 00:07:26,756
I'm just helping Mike out a bit
by setting up the drinks table.
182
00:07:27,753 --> 00:07:29,501
Cool. Cool.
183
00:07:29,667 --> 00:07:33,235
So, did you find out
whether it's a boy or a girl?
184
00:07:33,323 --> 00:07:34,526
Uh, I don't know.
185
00:07:34,909 --> 00:07:36,548
Only Mike knows that.
186
00:07:37,877 --> 00:07:40,766
It's killing me.
187
00:07:42,432 --> 00:07:45,360
You know, we could probably
come up with a plan
188
00:07:45,448 --> 00:07:47,016
to find out before
everyone else does.
189
00:07:47,104 --> 00:07:49,954
I doubt it. Mike is pretty good
at keeping a secret.
190
00:07:50,203 --> 00:07:51,516
Oh, yeah?
191
00:07:52,058 --> 00:07:55,905
Well, I'm pretty good at getting
people to tell me secrets.
192
00:07:56,313 --> 00:07:58,524
That's how I found out
Kyle's PIN number.
193
00:07:58,651 --> 00:08:00,861
Oh, come on. Everybody knows
Kyle's PIN number,
194
00:08:00,949 --> 00:08:02,766
it's one-two-three-four.
195
00:08:04,173 --> 00:08:06,079
See, I didn't know that.
196
00:08:06,290 --> 00:08:08,368
But now I do.
197
00:08:08,641 --> 00:08:10,907
Well, I am sure
you're very good,
198
00:08:10,995 --> 00:08:12,996
but it is very hard
to trick Mike Baxter.
199
00:08:13,091 --> 00:08:16,477
Seriously, what is your plan?
200
00:08:17,141 --> 00:08:18,516
I don't have one.
201
00:08:18,604 --> 00:08:21,108
I'm just gonna find out
when everybody else does.
202
00:08:23,975 --> 00:08:25,342
There is no plan.
203
00:08:25,430 --> 00:08:27,723
There's got to be a plan.
There's got to be.
204
00:08:27,811 --> 00:08:30,756
Listen, go back in there
and find out what she's up to.
205
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:32,151
You go in there.
206
00:08:34,481 --> 00:08:38,209
I'll stay here
and guard the piñata.
207
00:08:38,755 --> 00:08:41,418
This isn't a piñata.
This is the finest
208
00:08:41,506 --> 00:08:42,936
confetti cannon money can buy.
209
00:08:43,024 --> 00:08:46,640
This is the same unit Elton John
uses for all his concerts,
210
00:08:46,728 --> 00:08:48,739
his house parties,
and every time
211
00:08:48,827 --> 00:08:50,444
he gets out of a car.
212
00:08:51,381 --> 00:08:53,394
Have you considered
the possibility
213
00:08:53,481 --> 00:08:55,054
that Vanessa
doesn't have a plan,
214
00:08:55,141 --> 00:08:56,856
and she's just being honest?
215
00:08:57,116 --> 00:08:59,889
Yeah.
Uh, that would be a nightmare.
216
00:09:00,084 --> 00:09:01,394
Why?
217
00:09:01,623 --> 00:09:03,625
Because if this isn't
driving her crazy,
218
00:09:03,842 --> 00:09:07,897
all I'd be is a party planner.
219
00:09:12,967 --> 00:09:15,412
Okay, that's a...
Oh, hey,
220
00:09:15,500 --> 00:09:17,182
look at that.
221
00:09:17,311 --> 00:09:18,850
Great job, fellas.
222
00:09:18,938 --> 00:09:20,983
Great job. Terrific.
All right. Now...
223
00:09:21,145 --> 00:09:24,464
- Now for the fun part.
- Right, heading home with my Zumba ball.
224
00:09:24,646 --> 00:09:26,623
I mean, disco ball.
225
00:09:26,910 --> 00:09:28,785
No. Just put everything
in these boxes
226
00:09:28,873 --> 00:09:29,823
up on those shelves, that's all.
227
00:09:29,928 --> 00:09:31,311
Oh, sounds easy.
What have you got there?
228
00:09:31,398 --> 00:09:33,717
Okay. Dolls. Yeah?
229
00:09:33,805 --> 00:09:35,624
Yeah, there are a couple
of dozen or so, so...
230
00:09:35,712 --> 00:09:37,741
let's just get them
on these shelves...
231
00:09:38,381 --> 00:09:40,600
and call it a weekend.
232
00:09:44,231 --> 00:09:45,363
Let's see, now...
233
00:09:45,459 --> 00:09:48,504
Hey, you guys finished
ahead of schedule.
234
00:09:48,763 --> 00:09:52,334
So... I'll cancel the pizza.
235
00:10:01,905 --> 00:10:04,194
- You okay, buddy?
- I don't like dolls.
236
00:10:04,414 --> 00:10:06,146
I don't like their eyes,
I don't like their heads,
237
00:10:06,233 --> 00:10:07,295
I don't like the fact that
238
00:10:07,383 --> 00:10:09,053
they think they're better
than you.
239
00:10:10,006 --> 00:10:11,592
Relax, Joe.
240
00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:13,164
They're just toys.
241
00:10:13,319 --> 00:10:15,358
Yeah, until it's nighttime
and you're asleep.
242
00:10:15,532 --> 00:10:17,467
And you think
they're asleep, too.
243
00:10:18,248 --> 00:10:21,162
You've seen
far too many movies, man.
244
00:10:21,250 --> 00:10:22,460
Oh, really, Chuck?
245
00:10:22,581 --> 00:10:25,631
Or should I say, Chucky?
246
00:10:26,129 --> 00:10:28,811
You can say
whatever you want,
247
00:10:29,039 --> 00:10:33,116
but you are not dragging me into
your private little freak-out.
248
00:10:37,618 --> 00:10:39,131
You don't think this is creepy?
249
00:10:39,282 --> 00:10:42,006
No, man.
I was in Desert Storm.
250
00:10:42,094 --> 00:10:44,347
It's gonna take a lot more
than that to scare me.
251
00:10:44,577 --> 00:10:46,877
Mama.
252
00:10:47,811 --> 00:10:50,256
I knew it.
One of them's still alive.
253
00:10:50,875 --> 00:10:52,254
Maybe more.
254
00:10:52,342 --> 00:10:54,834
Let's just... let's just
get out of here, okay?
255
00:10:54,929 --> 00:10:58,655
- Open the door.
- I'm trying, but it's stuck.
256
00:10:58,935 --> 00:11:00,492
Mama.
257
00:11:06,334 --> 00:11:07,608
I don't know
about you guys,
258
00:11:07,696 --> 00:11:10,506
but I have no idea how my dad's
gonna do the big reveal.
259
00:11:10,607 --> 00:11:13,520
Oh, if I know Mr. B,
it's gonna be big and loud.
260
00:11:13,608 --> 00:11:16,125
I'm the father, and if Mike
has any respect for me at all,
261
00:11:16,213 --> 00:11:18,975
he's not gonna do some
big, macho explosion.
262
00:11:20,108 --> 00:11:22,608
He's gonna do a big,
macho explosion.
263
00:11:24,178 --> 00:11:25,381
Hey, hon.
264
00:11:25,545 --> 00:11:27,762
Uh, look, I don't want
to horn in on your party,
265
00:11:27,850 --> 00:11:30,998
but, um, what do you think
of this cradle, huh? It's cute.
266
00:11:31,086 --> 00:11:32,364
You know what's cute?
267
00:11:32,877 --> 00:11:35,263
This little game
you're playing.
268
00:11:36,576 --> 00:11:38,661
Mike, what-what are you being
crazy about now?
269
00:11:38,825 --> 00:11:40,334
Ah, nothing.
I know you're dying
270
00:11:40,422 --> 00:11:42,357
- to know what this kid is.
- Yeah, well...
271
00:11:43,041 --> 00:11:44,997
But I just can't figure out
what your...
272
00:11:45,084 --> 00:11:46,708
your angle is.
273
00:11:46,974 --> 00:11:48,995
I don't have an angle.
274
00:11:49,083 --> 00:11:51,493
Look, I'm sorry, I guess
I've just matured into someone
275
00:11:51,580 --> 00:11:53,497
who doesn't need to know
everyone's secrets.
276
00:11:54,044 --> 00:11:55,823
So, the cradle?
277
00:11:55,954 --> 00:11:57,065
Too busy.
278
00:11:59,685 --> 00:12:00,904
Hey, great party, Mr. B.
279
00:12:00,992 --> 00:12:02,575
Whatever.
280
00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:06,714
Yeah, even with the food,
you're keeping us guessing.
281
00:12:06,802 --> 00:12:09,394
First hotdogs,
then tacos.
282
00:12:09,621 --> 00:12:10,810
Brilliant.
283
00:12:11,536 --> 00:12:12,693
Just go ahead and say it.
284
00:12:12,781 --> 00:12:14,583
I'm an amazing
little party planner.
285
00:12:15,002 --> 00:12:17,724
You're an amazing
little party planner.
286
00:12:18,258 --> 00:12:20,654
I got into this racket
to annoy my wife,
287
00:12:20,992 --> 00:12:22,905
and now she's matured.
288
00:12:23,302 --> 00:12:25,054
So you know what
that makes me?
289
00:12:25,692 --> 00:12:28,935
An amazing little party planner?
290
00:12:29,207 --> 00:12:33,685
It makes me a man
who fans out napkins.
291
00:12:36,636 --> 00:12:38,130
Napkins.
292
00:12:39,613 --> 00:12:41,574
Okay, I'm not entirely sure
what's happening right now.
293
00:12:41,661 --> 00:12:43,943
- So can I...?
- Go.
294
00:12:48,130 --> 00:12:50,341
All right, everybody. I'm gonna
let the cat out of the bag.
295
00:12:50,428 --> 00:12:51,732
Five minutes.
296
00:12:52,289 --> 00:12:55,099
So that's how he's gonna do it.
297
00:12:58,580 --> 00:13:00,161
I hate this stupid party.
298
00:13:00,249 --> 00:13:02,294
You know you're talking
to the party planner?
299
00:13:03,107 --> 00:13:04,724
What do you mean,
you hate this party?
300
00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:06,559
I didn't get a party,
301
00:13:06,732 --> 00:13:09,255
but I guess I was
just Mom's big mistake.
302
00:13:15,382 --> 00:13:18,450
Listen up. Might be more
like six minutes.
303
00:13:19,911 --> 00:13:22,372
Ooh.
I bet the cat got out.
304
00:13:29,743 --> 00:13:30,771
Hey, Boyd.
305
00:13:31,355 --> 00:13:33,103
Cut the TV off.
We got to talk.
306
00:13:33,191 --> 00:13:34,632
I'm fine.
307
00:13:34,890 --> 00:13:37,982
Listen, nobody who watches
Don Lemon is fine.
308
00:13:41,741 --> 00:13:43,016
Did you really mean
what you said,
309
00:13:43,103 --> 00:13:44,917
about being
your mom's big mistake?
310
00:13:45,554 --> 00:13:47,021
It's true, isn't it?
311
00:13:47,108 --> 00:13:48,687
You weren't the biggest mistake.
312
00:13:49,587 --> 00:13:53,368
You were a monumental,
colossal, gigantic mistake.
313
00:13:53,804 --> 00:13:55,398
What?
314
00:13:55,744 --> 00:13:59,091
Listen, when an unmarried
high school girl gets pregnant,
315
00:13:59,179 --> 00:14:00,390
we don't throw parties.
316
00:14:00,478 --> 00:14:03,193
Most times, the families move.
317
00:14:03,765 --> 00:14:05,539
Did you come in here
to make me feel better?
318
00:14:05,627 --> 00:14:07,468
I came in here
to tell you the truth.
319
00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:09,523
It was a really rough time
for everybody.
320
00:14:09,611 --> 00:14:11,811
We didn't know
what was gonna happen.
321
00:14:12,242 --> 00:14:13,856
Okay.
322
00:14:14,031 --> 00:14:16,431
- Thank you for telling me the truth.
- I'm not finished yet.
323
00:14:16,611 --> 00:14:18,398
Then you happened.
324
00:14:19,828 --> 00:14:22,742
March 14, 2:15 in the morning.
325
00:14:23,742 --> 00:14:25,533
Your grandma was
the birth coach, I was somewhere
326
00:14:25,620 --> 00:14:28,290
in the hospital
looking for salty snacks.
327
00:14:29,023 --> 00:14:32,117
But I heard you, and man,
you were a loud kid.
328
00:14:32,741 --> 00:14:34,187
- I was?
- Yeah.
329
00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:35,990
I think you woke up
the coma patients
330
00:14:36,078 --> 00:14:38,207
on the other side
of the hospital.
331
00:14:39,264 --> 00:14:41,936
Wait, you're calling me loud?
332
00:14:42,875 --> 00:14:44,398
When I first heard you,
333
00:14:44,642 --> 00:14:48,125
suddenly,
there was no mistake anymore.
334
00:14:49,867 --> 00:14:51,468
It was just you.
335
00:14:52,147 --> 00:14:54,523
And you made everything better.
336
00:14:56,546 --> 00:14:58,294
So you were never
ashamed of me?
337
00:14:58,382 --> 00:14:59,554
No.
338
00:14:59,642 --> 00:15:01,062
Well...
339
00:15:02,671 --> 00:15:04,122
Come on, you dropped a pass
340
00:15:04,210 --> 00:15:05,342
in the end zone,
could've won the game.
341
00:15:05,429 --> 00:15:07,021
I wasn't... that wasn't
the best moment for me...
342
00:15:07,108 --> 00:15:08,359
I was...
343
00:15:09,155 --> 00:15:11,398
No. No.
344
00:15:13,085 --> 00:15:14,240
All right.
345
00:15:14,328 --> 00:15:17,175
Now, how would you like to help
me introduce the newest member
346
00:15:17,390 --> 00:15:18,664
of this family?
347
00:15:19,773 --> 00:15:21,765
I am loud.
348
00:15:22,956 --> 00:15:24,154
Come on.
349
00:15:25,294 --> 00:15:27,891
Oh, and just so you know,
that was a tough pass to catch.
350
00:15:27,979 --> 00:15:31,210
- I mean, it hit me in a bad spot.
- Yeah. Your hands.
351
00:15:35,131 --> 00:15:36,892
Okay, this is
the sixth message, Ed.
352
00:15:37,609 --> 00:15:39,691
We're locked in your doll room.
353
00:15:42,976 --> 00:15:45,333
- What are you doing?
- I've seen enough movies to know
354
00:15:45,421 --> 00:15:47,437
you don't turn your back
on a haunted doll.
355
00:15:47,617 --> 00:15:50,984
There's no such thing
as a haunted doll.
356
00:15:53,481 --> 00:15:56,281
There is no such thing.
357
00:16:01,413 --> 00:16:03,185
What's with you dumbbells?
358
00:16:03,357 --> 00:16:04,700
We were locked in here, Ed.
359
00:16:04,788 --> 00:16:06,262
Oh, yeah. Okay, yeah, yeah,
yeah. Oh, yeah, I forgot,
360
00:16:06,349 --> 00:16:07,310
it's busted.
361
00:16:07,398 --> 00:16:08,772
I was gonna get you
to fix that later.
362
00:16:08,859 --> 00:16:12,115
Oh, look at this. Bonnie's gonna
love her new collection.
363
00:16:12,203 --> 00:16:14,809
New? Well, aren't these hers?
364
00:16:14,897 --> 00:16:16,811
No, no, no, no. No, j-just one
of them. One of them is.
365
00:16:16,898 --> 00:16:18,414
Uh, where'd the rest of them
come from?
366
00:16:18,501 --> 00:16:21,292
Oh, so this old lady died
and they were in her attic.
367
00:16:21,442 --> 00:16:23,427
You'd be surprised
how little I paid for them.
368
00:16:24,023 --> 00:16:25,396
No, I wouldn't.
369
00:16:26,206 --> 00:16:28,360
Bonnie's always loved her doll.
370
00:16:28,448 --> 00:16:30,823
So, I thought, what's better
than one doll, right?
371
00:16:30,910 --> 00:16:32,896
Uh, zero dolls.
372
00:16:33,452 --> 00:16:35,888
I mean, so,
so this is the wedding gift?
373
00:16:35,976 --> 00:16:37,954
Yes, yes.
I can't wait to see her face.
374
00:16:38,081 --> 00:16:40,896
Oh, Ed, I'm-a do you
a favor, man. Um...
375
00:16:41,325 --> 00:16:43,525
- Okay, just for a second, pretend you're Bonnie.
- Yep?
376
00:16:43,712 --> 00:16:46,669
- What?
- Come on, just-just pretend you're Bonnie.
377
00:16:47,490 --> 00:16:49,712
- Uh...
- Who-who should I be?
378
00:16:50,745 --> 00:16:52,857
You should be quiet.
379
00:16:53,207 --> 00:16:55,021
- Okay, come on, I'm Bonnie. Now what?
- Okay, okay, okay.
380
00:16:55,108 --> 00:16:56,615
- Um, okay, now...
- Yeah...
381
00:16:56,703 --> 00:16:58,187
- All right.
- ...close your eyes.
382
00:16:58,416 --> 00:16:59,791
- Oh, close your eyes.
- All right.
383
00:16:59,909 --> 00:17:02,685
Now, imagine the man
you are about to marry
384
00:17:02,785 --> 00:17:05,028
- says he has a surprise for you.
- Mm-hmm.
385
00:17:05,161 --> 00:17:10,013
He says he created a room
in his big house just for you.
386
00:17:10,365 --> 00:17:12,958
- Mm-hmm.
- He leads you
387
00:17:13,045 --> 00:17:14,495
- in here...
- Mm-hmm.
388
00:17:14,583 --> 00:17:18,021
...you open your eyes, and...
389
00:17:22,190 --> 00:17:24,279
Jumping Jeffrey Dahmer.
390
00:17:24,943 --> 00:17:26,599
Oh...
391
00:17:31,576 --> 00:17:33,761
Uh, yeah,
it's-it's not too late, Ed.
392
00:17:33,849 --> 00:17:36,464
We'll just, uh, grab the doll
that belongs to Bonnie,
393
00:17:36,552 --> 00:17:37,460
we'll put the rest in boxes
394
00:17:37,547 --> 00:17:39,104
and we'll turn this
into a sewing room.
395
00:17:39,192 --> 00:17:40,394
I don't know
which one is Bonnie's. I...
396
00:17:40,481 --> 00:17:42,191
- Um...
- Look, you guys figure it out, okay?
397
00:17:42,278 --> 00:17:44,717
I am out of here.
398
00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:48,790
Oops.
399
00:17:48,911 --> 00:17:50,614
Let's play a game.
400
00:17:56,418 --> 00:17:58,646
All right, gather, everybody,
for the big reveal.
401
00:17:58,734 --> 00:18:02,357
Let's do this.
Um, uh, where is Vanessa?
402
00:18:02,448 --> 00:18:05,490
I haven't seen her.
I think maybe she's hurt.
403
00:18:05,607 --> 00:18:07,370
Maybe she thought
her husband should have
404
00:18:07,458 --> 00:18:09,543
a higher opinion of her
than he apparently does.
405
00:18:11,395 --> 00:18:13,176
Interesting theory.
406
00:18:14,724 --> 00:18:16,724
Damn you, Mike Baxter!
407
00:18:16,811 --> 00:18:18,943
Yes!
408
00:18:19,264 --> 00:18:21,292
- What was that?
- Oh, that explosion
409
00:18:21,380 --> 00:18:23,794
was the sweet sound
of me being right.
410
00:18:25,810 --> 00:18:26,822
Whoa!
411
00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:33,436
You know what? You probably
thought that if you looked
412
00:18:33,523 --> 00:18:35,667
in that cannon, you'd get
the gender of the baby?
413
00:18:35,810 --> 00:18:37,458
Maybe.
414
00:18:38,108 --> 00:18:40,526
What you didn't know
was that I rigged it to explode,
415
00:18:40,614 --> 00:18:42,442
- Right.
- 'cause... knowing you'd do just that, because you are
416
00:18:42,529 --> 00:18:45,361
the childish, immature woman
that I fell in love with.
417
00:18:45,448 --> 00:18:48,094
Oh. I'm the grandmother.
I should be the first to know.
418
00:18:48,182 --> 00:18:51,196
- Oh, honey.
- I mean, who even are all these people?
419
00:18:51,877 --> 00:18:54,088
Uh, well, we're the parents.
420
00:18:54,538 --> 00:18:56,286
Uh, so Mom's green.
421
00:18:56,382 --> 00:18:59,580
Does that mean that we're having
a little baby lizard?
422
00:18:59,668 --> 00:19:01,077
No, no, that was just a trap.
423
00:19:01,165 --> 00:19:03,078
The glitter cannon
was just a diversion.
424
00:19:03,173 --> 00:19:05,221
A green herring, if you will.
425
00:19:09,547 --> 00:19:13,496
It's got everything you need
with a joke: a color and a fish.
426
00:19:13,584 --> 00:19:15,949
All right, all right. Can we,
can we just get on with this?
427
00:19:16,037 --> 00:19:17,723
And everyone, stop staring.
428
00:19:17,811 --> 00:19:19,324
I'm green, all right?
Get over it.
429
00:19:19,412 --> 00:19:20,763
Yeah, yeah,
let's get this thing going.
430
00:19:20,850 --> 00:19:23,863
I want to find out if I'm gonna
be an aunt or an uncle.
431
00:19:25,340 --> 00:19:27,793
Listen, the gender reveal
is a big honor.
432
00:19:27,942 --> 00:19:30,020
And who better
to have that honor
433
00:19:30,332 --> 00:19:32,955
than the baby's
big brother? Yeah?
434
00:19:33,746 --> 00:19:35,679
- Thanks, Grandpa.
- It's right there.
435
00:19:40,141 --> 00:19:41,504
It's snowing.
436
00:19:41,592 --> 00:19:43,802
Oh! Oh! Pink snow!
437
00:19:43,936 --> 00:19:45,799
Honey, it's a girl.
438
00:19:45,887 --> 00:19:47,625
- It's a girl.
- We're having a girl.
439
00:19:47,793 --> 00:19:50,902
Finally, a soprano
to harmonize with.
440
00:19:52,949 --> 00:19:55,658
Kyle, Kyle,
I wouldn't eat any of that snow.
441
00:19:55,809 --> 00:19:57,328
It was suspiciously cheap.
442
00:19:57,415 --> 00:19:59,230
Honey...
443
00:19:59,519 --> 00:20:01,050
Are you, are you excited
444
00:20:01,138 --> 00:20:02,688
about getting
your first granddaughter?
445
00:20:02,776 --> 00:20:06,194
Yes, I am, and also about being
married to Swamp Thing.
446
00:20:08,348 --> 00:20:10,174
Well, I hope this baby
doesn't inherit
447
00:20:10,262 --> 00:20:12,526
my need to know every secret.
448
00:20:12,924 --> 00:20:14,275
- Well, I hope it does.
- Hmm...
449
00:20:14,371 --> 00:20:16,383
- And everything else.
- Aw.
450
00:20:17,840 --> 00:20:19,229
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
451
00:20:19,332 --> 00:20:21,098
Mmm...
452
00:20:22,850 --> 00:20:25,902
Now this,
I got to get a picture of.
453
00:20:32,776 --> 00:20:34,656
Hey, Mike Baxter here
for Outdoor Man.
454
00:20:35,392 --> 00:20:37,466
My kid is about
to have another kid,
455
00:20:37,554 --> 00:20:40,021
which makes me think about
the little one's adventures,
456
00:20:40,109 --> 00:20:42,120
and the ones I had
when I was a kid.
457
00:20:42,312 --> 00:20:45,599
Learning the hard way bedsheets
make a lousy parachute.
458
00:20:45,687 --> 00:20:48,153
12 feet off the garage
didn't seem like that much,
459
00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:50,921
but in free fall? Ouch.
460
00:20:51,625 --> 00:20:54,583
Skinny-dipping in a river
so cold my buddy Matt Clark
461
00:20:54,671 --> 00:20:57,609
got freezer burn on his nuts.
462
00:20:58,158 --> 00:21:01,099
Or the time Archie Harris pushed
me off my bike, broke my arm.
463
00:21:01,187 --> 00:21:03,889
I asked him to sign my cast,
then I clubbed him with it.
464
00:21:05,030 --> 00:21:07,054
The point is, we did stuff.
465
00:21:07,445 --> 00:21:10,005
And sure, most of it
was injuring each other,
466
00:21:10,093 --> 00:21:13,295
but we weren't just watching
life or taking pictures of it.
467
00:21:13,679 --> 00:21:15,669
Life was all the amazing things
that happened
468
00:21:15,757 --> 00:21:18,203
between trips
to the emergency room.
469
00:21:18,625 --> 00:21:21,265
Now, thanks to the Gram,
Snapchat and TikTok,
470
00:21:21,353 --> 00:21:23,060
I worry that
the future generations,
471
00:21:23,148 --> 00:21:24,625
like my granddaughter's,
472
00:21:24,712 --> 00:21:27,492
won't even know how to look
each other in the eye.
473
00:21:28,187 --> 00:21:30,070
If you can't look
each other in the eye,
474
00:21:30,158 --> 00:21:32,232
how the hell are you gonna
hit someone in the throat
475
00:21:32,320 --> 00:21:34,179
with your slingshot?
476
00:21:35,489 --> 00:21:36,695
Baxter out.
477
00:21:40,481 --> 00:21:43,046
Sync corrections by srjanapala
35721
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