All language subtitles for Kroll.Show.S01E05_English

- Delta, alpha, bravo.
Requesting drone support.

I repeat.
Delta, alpha, bravo.

Requesting air strike.

[intense music]

♪ ♪

[modem tone]

- Let's rock and roll.

- Welcome,
new drone pilots.

Your lives
as you know them

Are about to change.

- Whoa, buddy.
Come on, man.

- This will take a toll
on your bodies and your minds.

Your families
will not understand.

- See?
Daddy is a real pilot.

- I still don't get it.

- Some of you will not last
the duration of this operation,

But such is the cost
of modern warfare.

- Hey, did you hear
that rivera left?

- No.
- Yeah.

Means that chair has opened up,
that comfy chair of his.

I wonder
who's gonna get it.

- Those are my donuts.

- I've eaten three donuts
by the time you wake up.

- That's nothing
to be proud of.

- So you're
the new occupational therapist?

- Scarlet,
nice to meet you.

- Yeah, I've got a problem
with my carpal tunnel, I think.

- You're fine.

- [sniffs]

[coughs] cool.

- Repeat! Repeat!
[explosions]

I'm getting hit
from everywhere, guys!

- Mayday, mayday.
Doug, come in.

- I'm coming, I'm coming.
I'm almost there.

- What's your 20, doug?

- Stay with me,
I'm almost there.

Okay, I'm there.
What do you want?

- Coffee. Black.

Two creams
and a sugar.

Hurry up, doug.

These drones
aren't gonna fly themselves.

- You think you can't handle it,
you can stand up,

And you can walk out
right now.

Y--okay.

[dubstep music]

♪ ♪

- I got I.E.D.S,
everything, guys!

[over intercom] everywhere!
They're coming in--

- Did you go see the new--
the new elvis cirque du soleil?

- Oh,
I heard that's long.

- Oh.
- Yeah.

[dubstep music]

♪ ♪

- When I get a haircut,
I'm just like,

"oh, you know, like,
a little off the sides.

Uh, keep the top
a little longer."

What I want to say
is, like,

"can you make my face
more attractive?

Make me look like
jason priestley from 90210."

I mean, I-I want you
to think I'm funny,

But kind of
at the end of the day,

I would still
rather be handsome.

This my red-carpet face.

[camera snaps]

- Look, women
will sell each other out

For a chicken sandwich.

That's the truth!

Oh, hello.
My name is fabrice fabrice,

The name so nice
you have to say it...

Again.
[laughs]

Let me ask you a question.

You have any friends
that you cannot trust?

This is a little thing
that we call...

Let me settle
a quick dispute.

We--okay,
my boy angel,

He was supposed to
bring matthew--

They were supposed to
meet me at sizzler,

And they did not show up.

- Sizzler, yum.

- Angel and matthew
don't show up.

I go out into the parking lot
at sizzler,

And I slice
everybody's tires up, okay?

- Huh?
- Am in the wrong?

- Excuse me?

Don't judge me.

Can I finish?
Am I at fault?

- Yeah.
- Oh, come on.

I will bury your dog in water
like michael vick,

And then I will throw
for three touchdowns.

You being rude now.

- [sighs]

- [grunts]

[exhales]

- They have families
and jobs.

They are husbands, sons,
and uncles.

They live different lives,
but there's one thing

They all have in common.

[soft guitar music]

♪ ♪

- It's nice
to be your own boss,

But I-I do get
a little stir crazy sometimes.

I mean,
this is everything.

This is work,
this is home, this is,

You know,
my break room.

I try to stay
pretty disciplined

About keeping it
a work environment.

You know, I wish that
I did have some coworkers

To josh around with
and, you know...

[inhales deeply, exhales]

Work should be
a little bit fun too.

♪ ♪

- See, I grew up
in the '60s, which was--

It's an exciting time,

And I lost my virginity
at the library at berkeley,

Which was exciting,
and it was disgusting.

The ponytail lets people know
that although, you know,

I'm a defense attorney,
I-I'm not so serious, you know?

I--[laughs]
I've been known

To be a practical joker.

I'll have a grande mocha latte,
hold the onion, hold the mayo.

- Excuse me?

- I am a martial artist.

Uh, I'm also
a reptile enthusiast,

But I am, uh,
I'm not cold-blooded.

You know, if you attack me,
or if you try to sneak up on me,

You're gonna fall prey.

My favorite movies
would be a tie of, uh,

Any bruce lee movie.

I am, uh, single.
Um...

One of the first teachings
in buddhism is, uh, you know,

Visualize what you want,
and then it's gonna happen.

That's what I did
with these bad boys.

I saw the infomercial,
and I said,

"gosh,
I'd love to have these,"

And five years later,
they were mine.

- Oh, gross.
Is this hair?

Guys, this is a scoop.
You use it to scoop, okay?

Things are extra difficult
because I'm going through

An estrogen storm
right now.

An estrogen storm is a flood
of traditionally female hormones

That...[sniffles]
overtakes the male body,

But these
are little challenges

That we have to face
in our lives.

I sound off-tune.

[plucking, tuning guitar]

- [playing bass guitar]

[phone rings]

Yes,
I was playing bass.

- Please, just let me talk.
- No!

- What about my tempo?
- Honey, w--

- What about my tempo
for my life?

- No, it calmed me!

- Mark,
I want a divorce.

- I can't--I don't understand
what you're saying.

- Seriously, mark--
- I was in a good place!

[knock at door]

- Hi, mrs. Sanghvi.

- You are three months behind
on your rent.

- Yeah, no,
I'm well aware of that.

- You are using a dangerous
amount of energy in this unit.

- I don't know
what you're talking about.

- Uh, if I don't
get my rent

By the end of this week,
I have to evict you.

- Okay, mrs. Sanghvi.
A pleasure to see you again.

- Thank you, mr. Barry.
- Okay.

[exhales]

- Welcome back
to can I finish?

Things got pretty out of control
on that last round.

That cannot happen
again.

Today, we're talking about
the proliferation

Of talking heads
on the news.

Is all this squawk
adding up to squat?

Let's take it to the people
in the tiny boxes.

[shouting] luke bennett,
any thoughts on that?

- It's simply a game
of mathematics.

If you look at
the simple fact...

- Excuse me.
- Of who is control...

- Excuse me! Excuse me!
- Of the media,

The corporate--excuse me.
- May I--can I talk?

- Let me finish.
- Let's take this one

Out to sea.
Captain jack!

- When a boat sinks,
everyone blames the captain,

Like on the titanic.

- Excuse me!
- It's not always your fault!

- May I finish please?
- Yes.

You can finish, mark!

- It's give and take.
- And stuck at sea

For five months.
- I've heard what you--

- Let me finish!
- Right, right.

But what is john q. Public
supposed to think about this?

Go ahead, meek woman.
- Thanks, jim.

Uh, what I was trying
to say before, uh, was--

- Who cares what this dog woman
has to say?

- Excuse me!
May I finish? Please?

- All right, look, mark
can't take yes for an answer.

[screaming]
meek woman, I want to hear

What you have to say!
- Thanks, jim.

What I was trying
to say before is that--

- Time's up.
Flip the boxes.

- Dog--
- thank you, jim. Finally!

The mets are
the working-class man's team.

- Penalty box.
The mets are off-limits.

Cut his mic.

We got a tweet here
from @akabobbyb.

He says, "no disrespect,
because I respect you,

But can I finish?"

Well,
what about that?

Shoutman, what do you think?
And please don't shout.

- [shouting]
I will not stop shouting!

- Yep.
- Excuse me, can I finish?

- Dr. Armond,
why are you here?

- Just like dogs have a right
to get plastic surgery,

I have a right to sp--

- Okay, time
for the circle round.

Meek woman, speak!

- Excuse me, can I finish?
Both: Can I finish?

- Jinx! One of you
owes the other one a coke!

- [scoffs]
- okay, mets fan,

You are
out of the box.

- Ever.
You know, buckner.

That wasn't his fault.
- [stutters] just spit it out!

That was mets positivity.
- Just spit it out!

- Guys, guys.
We need to see those boxes

Turned into diamonds.

- Excuse me, why is this guy
talking about baseball?

- Can I finish, luke?

- We are out of time.
Everybody finish.

Just do a quick finish.
- I am shouting at you!

- Ah! He's in my box!
- Folks.

Twitter me at--
[overlapping shouting]

Hey, I'm trying to tell them
the twitter address!

Everybody keeps telling me
it's important

That they tweet me--
[overlapping yelling]

The twitter--
- may I finish?

- You know what?
I'm gonna get every--

[overlapping yelling]

Forget it!
There's no point in it!

Somebody's job's gotta be
to figure out who talks when!

I can't do it
'cause I don't know how!

- I am shouting loudly!

- Blink 182 or 311?

- 311.

- 311's a good band.
- Yeah.

- Here we are
at the scene of the crime.

This is where I waited
for angel and matthew.

They never
showed up,

And so I sliced up
those tires.

Slash.
Retribution.

My boy angel
does sound for me.

He does a bad job

'cause he's too busy
smoking meth all day.

I said, "angel,
get off that tina.

Get your act together."

He said, "no, I'm gonna do
what I do."

I said,
"you leave me alone.

"I'm not gonna
take this tonight.

"'cause if we
go in the area tonight,

"we gonna have fun.

"and I don't want to
think about work

When I'm not at work."

And angel's like,
"no, no, no.

I work for you.
I don't work for anybody."

I said,
"you don't work for me.

Not anymore."

You know?
Isn't that--

Isn't that the truth
when you work with friends?

- What this is?

- I want a divorce.

- I've lost my wife.
I've lost my house.

And I'm having
the time of my life.

[glasses clink]

- ♪ today there's a change
in my life ♪

♪ and I'm feeling alive ♪

- One for the divorcee suite.

- ♪ today there's a change
in my life ♪

♪ that's life ♪

[phone rings]

Go for dr. Armond,

California's premier
pet plastic surgeon.

- What's up, doc?
- Oh.

Kelsey, how are you?

- What time are we going to
hit the titty bars?

- Not tonight,
my friend.

Tonight I've got a date.

I was recently introduced to
one of the most beautiful women

I've ever met.

I'm entranced by her

And hope to take her
to a hotel restaurant.

I'm not sure if
the sexual chemistry's there,

But I feel like I've finally
found a real partner.

- Play the field, my friend!
Play the field.

[chuckles]
how's your hair?

- It's holding up, kels,
but my backhand is outta sight.

Well, it looks like
armond is at it again.

I've made a reservation for us
at the hotel restaurant.

I'm looking forward to seeing
if there are any sparks.

Oh, there she is.

Wow...

She looks amazing.

Here she comes.

The chemistry
was palpable.

Mmm.

This is
very good tortilla soup.

- Yeah,
it's delicious.

- Have you had
tortilla soup before?

- Mm-hmm. I have.
- Mm-hmm.

- And so, shannon...

- Yes, doctor...
- Do you--?

- Ar--armond?
- Armond.

- Armond.

Yeah, I think
that's more romantic.

I think
if I called you "doctor,"

It would be too much
of a professional relationship.

- Sure.

So shannon, tell me--

- Yes, armond?

- Do you have hopes and dreams?
- Mm-hmm.

- Ever since
I split with my ex,

I'm trying to turn over
a new leaf.

I've got a new car.

It's a mustang.
It's green.

- My beetle's beige.

[dog barking]

- If you'll excuse me,
I have received a text message.

I was falling head-over-heels
in love with shannon,

Despite kelsey's
best efforts,

And yet, there was one
big obstacle still to overcome.

Hey, ro?

- Yeah?

- You ready
to be my best man, roman?

- Fine,
but I'm gonna need $10,000

For your bachelor party.

- Deal.
- And you're not coming.

- You're quite
the negotiator, roman.

- Maybe you could order me
a bunch of food

And then take, like,
a two-hour walk.

- Roman,
I love you very much.

- Shut up.

- Next week,
on the two-hour series finale

Of armond about town...

Let's just throw caution
to the wall

And really go for this.

[wedding music]

I feel like cinderella.

- Yo, I can't do
this whole wedding thing.

I'm sorry, I gotta go.
Peace, man.

[dramatic music]

- Kelsey, I need you
to be my best man.

[dubstep music]

- Once in a while,
you find a girl who's cool,

And she kinda
just watches movie with you,

And you watch romantic comedies
with her...

- Mm-hmm.
- And that's your sacrifice

To the relationship.

And then their sacrifice
to the relationship

Is they just
shut they mouths.

[laughter]

Um, good to know.
- [squawks]

- ♪ oh

- I mean, talk about
a fellow that's at peace.

Look at bruce leezard.
He doesn't even flinch.

Oh, there he goes.

[soft guitar music]

I mean, that's what it's like
to be a brown belt.

His habitat
is not cheap to maintain.

There's a lot of costs.

Lo--lot of costs
involved.

Uh, there's the heat lamps.
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

[electric droning]
that is the sweetest sound,

Uh, to bruce,
if he had ears.

I just hear, uh, I just hear
my bank account draining out.

It adds up, but, uh,

You can't put a price tag
on a best friend.

It's worth it.

- Things at the, uh, co-op
have been difficult lately.

- Renick!
- Wh--I--just a second.

Oh, my--

- The nut press
is ruined.

- Oh. [groans]
well, uh, how do you know--?

Uh--that's probably 'cause
they weren't using the scoops.

I've been telling people
to use the scoops.

- No, renick,
this is your hair.

- I don't--
[sighs]

In order to pay
for the nut press,

I'm taking on
more graphic design work

Than I'm comfortable with
right now.

No.
[pounding keys]

No, the--"g"s don't look good
in the papyrus font.

It's huge problem.

[sighs] I could try.
I mean, it's not--

It's not standard
to put a different--

You know, to change fonts
in the same word.

[sighs]

♪ ♪

[somber music]

♪ ♪

- I have never
liked your ponytail, mark.

- What are you
talking about?

What--when we make--
when we make love,

You always
pulled on my p-tail.

- You didn't notice
I was crying when I did it?

- Just stop it!
Stop fighting!

- Sweetie. Sweetie, shh.
- I mean it dad, okay?

You too, mom.

I swear, I'll go back
to hustling again.

- Get a haircut.
Both of you.

- Come here,
sweetheart.

Come here.
Shh.

She's irrational.

- You should really
apol--

- You see
what I'm talking about?

Am I b--
is it me?

Am I wro--
just let me talk.

- I'm here to--
- may I talk, please?

- I--please--
- I have something to say.

May I say it?
- Yes, mark.

- Okay? Would you just
let me finish?

- Perhaps you could--
- am I wrong?

[dubstep music]

['80s dance music]

[cheers and applause]

['80s dance music]

[cheering]

♪

[cheering]

♪

[cheering]

♪

[cheering]

[thunder clapping]

[electronic buzzing]

- [robot voice]
electricity.

[techno music]
[applause]

♪

- ♪ whoa whoa-o

♪ whoa wa whoa-o whoa whoa-o

♪

[cheering]

♪ whoa whoa-o

♪ whoa wa whoa-o whoa whoa-o

[cheering]

♪

[drumbeats]
[clapping in rhythm]

[electronic buzzing]
[bell dings]

♪

- [robot voice] electricity.
[cheering]

♪

♪
[cheering]

[cheering]

['80s dance music]

♪

[dubstep music]

- You--are you flying
over there?

- I'm still
trying to log in here.

- Rookie maneuver.

- [sighs]

Come on, I'm having
a tough time here.

- What's your password?

- Favorite words, and numbers,
and letters, and things, and--

Uh, s--
I had the password

Written down somewhere,
and I lost it.

[intense music]

[mellow music]

- ♪ oh

[knocking at the door]

- Just a minute.

[sighs] hey, sergio. Thank you
for coming on such short notice.

- Yeah, you betcha.
Sure.

So the main shower
again?

- Yeah,
it's the weirdest thing.

It's all clogged up.

- Yeah,
that's what I thought. [grunts]

Just a lot of hair.

- Yeah, well, sergio,
it's been a tough week.

[whimpers]

[sobs]

- It--it--
it might not be yours.

- [sobs]

Of course it's mine, sergio.
I'm not an idiot.

[sobs]
- we all have things

That we're going through.
- [sobs]

- I just think that
you need to, uh--

- [sobs]
- I don't know,

Maybe just take a break, and...
- [sniffs]

- Catch your breath, and--
- [sighs]

You're a good friend.
[sniffs]

[sighs]
[clears throat]

- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- Hey!

- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'll just get my toolbox then.

- [sighs, whimpers]

[motown music]

- ♪ I'll keep loving you ♪

- Who's that?
Who is that?

I'm back in the dating scene,
and I'm really excited.

I've even taken some steps
to amp up my game.

I feel good
about the future.

Twice as good.

[soft guitar music]

♪

- You will find
a better place.

- Okay. There's that positivity
that I always loved,

Mrs. Sanghvi.

Uh, bruce leezard, you know,
will be joining me.

[clears throat]
we had a bit of a kerfuffle.

Uh, the apartment plummeted
to a frigid 81 degrees.

He lashed out in a manner that
befitted him as a brown belt.

Uh, he was able to, uh,
spot my weak point.

Ow!
Jesus, bruce leezard!

I said, "I'm gonna learn
from my mistakes.

I'm gonna take care of this
permanently,"

And that meant to, uh, you know,
get the iguana tail permanent.

It comes
right around the neck,

And I call it
a "tat tail."

This little bugger's never
gonna, you know, get me again.

Bruce...

You know,
I know he's a lizard,

People say,
"he's not gonna talk to you,"

But I--I think one of the--
one of these days

He's gonna open up
those choppers

And really
let me have it.

- Oh, what's up, angel?
What's up, matthew?

I got new friends.

They in indie music,
which means they are passionate.

They grew up
upper-middle class,

And they do not make money
currently.

[laughs]

- I actually have a job
that I like.

- What do you do
for a living?

- I have a jewelry line.

Oh, yeah, look. That's
a wish bracelet. I made it.

It's a--he made a wish on it...
- It's just--

- And when it falls off,
his wish come true.

- Was the wish to get
an actual piece of jewelry?

Ha ha.
Good at bizness.

- You're one of the most
beautiful women I've ever met.

- You're one of the most
handsome men I've ever met.

I love your eyebrows.

I love the way it moves.

- Thank you. I love your--
your hair.

- Thank you.

It's chemically
processed.