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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,014 --> 00:00:04,823 I'm working at this exhibition centre at the moment. 2 00:00:04,983 --> 00:00:07,020 It's good 'cause I don't have to get up early. 3 00:00:07,140 --> 00:00:09,282 I still manage to be late every day. 4 00:00:10,494 --> 00:00:13,383 - What time do you call this? - And a good morning to you too, Jason. 5 00:00:13,543 --> 00:00:14,963 What time do you call this? 6 00:00:15,326 --> 00:00:16,423 Morning time? 7 00:00:16,583 --> 00:00:17,663 Why are you late? 8 00:00:17,823 --> 00:00:20,183 - Only by 12 minutes. - Why are you late, Don? 9 00:00:20,652 --> 00:00:23,743 - Do you repeat everything you say? - I want an answer now, Don. 10 00:00:24,971 --> 00:00:26,663 - Well? - Not everything, then. 11 00:00:29,533 --> 00:00:31,280 I was late because... 12 00:00:35,783 --> 00:00:37,819 I was late because I couldn't care less 13 00:00:37,939 --> 00:00:41,189 about this pathetic excuse for a job. 14 00:00:41,595 --> 00:00:42,595 All right? 15 00:00:43,292 --> 00:00:45,055 Look, 12 minutes late ain't bad, 16 00:00:45,175 --> 00:00:49,456 considering I'm absolutely off my face on cheap gin and ecstasy. 17 00:00:53,757 --> 00:00:55,307 I was late because... 18 00:00:56,324 --> 00:00:57,994 I was buying you... 19 00:00:58,865 --> 00:00:59,865 a gift. 20 00:01:00,707 --> 00:01:02,143 Yeah, it's a shoe. 21 00:01:02,557 --> 00:01:05,317 Fuck off. I'm late. Deal with it. 22 00:01:05,543 --> 00:01:07,063 I want an answer now, Don. 23 00:01:07,223 --> 00:01:10,037 Look, I was late because... of... 24 00:01:10,933 --> 00:01:11,933 a bus? 25 00:01:13,149 --> 00:01:14,149 Pathetic. 26 00:01:18,383 --> 00:01:21,863 .:: La Fabrique ::. 27 00:01:25,143 --> 00:01:28,148 Dickheads Team 28 00:01:28,268 --> 00:01:31,114 Sync: mpm & Arrow 29 00:01:31,234 --> 00:01:33,223 Episode 201 Don Dates a Cougar 30 00:01:35,247 --> 00:01:36,917 My job is to show toss-pots around, 31 00:01:37,037 --> 00:01:39,117 giving them info I was meant to have learnt. 32 00:01:39,237 --> 00:01:42,383 This latest exhibition was by some guy called Sean Shirtshaw. 33 00:01:42,543 --> 00:01:44,193 This piece is called... 34 00:01:46,383 --> 00:01:49,301 Me, dot, dot, dot, or You? 35 00:01:51,663 --> 00:01:54,749 I've always liked the idea of picking up women in an art gallery. 36 00:01:54,952 --> 00:01:56,200 Highbrow pulling. 37 00:01:56,320 --> 00:01:58,143 - Excuse me. - Yeah? 38 00:01:58,663 --> 00:02:00,637 - When was it done? - I dunno. 39 00:02:01,664 --> 00:02:02,868 In the past? 40 00:02:05,334 --> 00:02:06,551 Right, come on! 41 00:02:07,023 --> 00:02:08,703 But we haven't seen all these. 42 00:02:10,469 --> 00:02:13,703 Yeah, to be honest, they're a bit pony. Come on, come on! 43 00:02:19,276 --> 00:02:20,810 It was like she'd just vanished. 44 00:02:20,930 --> 00:02:23,743 So, what's the story behind this piece? 45 00:02:24,783 --> 00:02:26,797 What do you know about this painting? 46 00:02:27,207 --> 00:02:31,093 Well, as you can see, Shirtshaw used a big brush. 47 00:02:32,161 --> 00:02:33,743 Shall we go back that way? Come on. 48 00:02:33,903 --> 00:02:36,517 But you said They weren't very interesting. 49 00:02:36,637 --> 00:02:38,640 No, I said they were a bit pony. 50 00:02:38,760 --> 00:02:41,183 But they are interesting. Come on! Chop chop. 51 00:02:45,993 --> 00:02:47,157 Maybe she left. 52 00:02:47,816 --> 00:02:48,623 Shit! 53 00:02:50,668 --> 00:02:53,343 Is the name of this next piece. 54 00:02:53,503 --> 00:02:54,863 Why is it called that? 55 00:02:55,430 --> 00:02:57,823 You are really getting on my balls, mister. 56 00:02:58,032 --> 00:02:59,032 Fine. 57 00:02:59,223 --> 00:03:02,177 But why is this called Shit? 58 00:03:02,552 --> 00:03:05,503 I dunno. Maybe he meant it to be yellow? 59 00:03:06,639 --> 00:03:08,871 Why don't you lot just sort of browse 60 00:03:08,991 --> 00:03:12,432 and discuss amongst yourselves? I'll be back to collect you in a minute. 61 00:03:21,361 --> 00:03:22,361 Powerful. 62 00:03:24,232 --> 00:03:26,032 Not sure I like it myself. 63 00:03:26,651 --> 00:03:28,501 Yeah, I know what you mean. 64 00:03:28,757 --> 00:03:31,943 It's powerful... yet somehow rubbish. 65 00:03:33,552 --> 00:03:35,712 You not a fan of Sean Shirtshaw? 66 00:03:35,832 --> 00:03:37,436 He's just a Rothko rip-off, 67 00:03:37,556 --> 00:03:39,106 in my humble opinion. 68 00:03:39,767 --> 00:03:41,546 Gee, you're right there. 69 00:03:42,167 --> 00:03:45,103 I wouldn't be surprised if Rothko came round here and started kicking off. 70 00:03:45,538 --> 00:03:48,663 I would, seeing as he's, well... dead. 71 00:03:48,995 --> 00:03:50,195 Rothko's dead? 72 00:03:50,503 --> 00:03:51,823 He died in 1970. 73 00:03:52,991 --> 00:03:55,143 Well, then Shirtshaw's got nothing to worry about. 74 00:03:55,303 --> 00:03:58,143 This Rothko fella's never gonna find out. 75 00:04:00,901 --> 00:04:03,463 - I'm Don, if you're interested. - I'm Rosie. 76 00:04:03,672 --> 00:04:04,892 What a beautiful name. 77 00:04:05,012 --> 00:04:06,743 - Thank you. - Like a gypsy. 78 00:04:07,334 --> 00:04:09,432 - You work here, don't you? - I do, yes. 79 00:04:09,938 --> 00:04:11,432 Oh, I love art. 80 00:04:11,686 --> 00:04:12,686 It's so... 81 00:04:13,199 --> 00:04:14,199 arty. 82 00:04:17,773 --> 00:04:19,583 I think they're waiting for you. 83 00:04:22,305 --> 00:04:24,555 You do know it's rude to eavesdrop? 84 00:04:37,753 --> 00:04:39,383 Hurry up. I want a go. 85 00:04:39,965 --> 00:04:42,072 Do you mind if Don does your feet for a bit? 86 00:04:42,192 --> 00:04:43,103 {Yeah, }All right. 87 00:04:43,312 --> 00:04:45,112 Not a go on her, you pillock. 88 00:04:45,232 --> 00:04:48,072 - I want you to massage me. - Oh, right. 89 00:04:48,192 --> 00:04:50,032 Wouldn't touch Mrs T's feet. 90 00:04:50,152 --> 00:04:52,663 It'd be like stroking cold lumps of Parmesan. 91 00:04:52,823 --> 00:04:54,703 You'd be lucky to touch my feet. 92 00:04:54,863 --> 00:04:56,301 You wish I'd touch your feet. 93 00:04:56,421 --> 00:04:58,143 - Hey, guys. - Afternoon, Samantha. 94 00:04:58,343 --> 00:04:59,983 - Everyone, this is Clint. - Hi. 95 00:05:00,143 --> 00:05:02,181 - I'm gonna grab us some drinks. - Cool. 96 00:05:04,472 --> 00:05:07,023 - Cool name, Clint. - Oh, thanks. 97 00:05:07,352 --> 00:05:09,143 Well, that depends. 98 00:05:09,303 --> 00:05:11,063 - Excuse me? - What's your surname? 99 00:05:11,731 --> 00:05:13,213 It's Selway. 100 00:05:14,725 --> 00:05:16,333 Clint Selway... 101 00:05:21,463 --> 00:05:24,455 - All right? - No. My husband's dead. 102 00:05:25,432 --> 00:05:26,503 You all right? 103 00:05:26,894 --> 00:05:29,153 Yes, thank you. Fine. 104 00:05:29,273 --> 00:05:30,783 - {Right, }Shall we go upstairs? - Yes. 105 00:05:31,861 --> 00:05:32,783 Rude. 106 00:05:32,992 --> 00:05:35,663 We've a massive paper to hand in{y the end of the week}. We're going to study. 107 00:05:36,894 --> 00:05:38,658 Going to "study". 108 00:05:39,258 --> 00:05:42,543 Yes, actually, Don. Clint is a friend from university. 109 00:05:42,703 --> 00:05:44,543 Right. "Friend". 110 00:05:44,912 --> 00:05:46,303 You are such an idiot. 111 00:05:47,051 --> 00:05:47,903 "Such." 112 00:05:48,205 --> 00:05:49,383 Nice to meet you. 113 00:05:49,543 --> 00:05:50,943 Sure thing, Clintoss. 114 00:05:51,103 --> 00:05:53,408 - He seems nice. - Seems like a tosser. 115 00:05:54,211 --> 00:05:55,031 What? 116 00:05:55,151 --> 00:05:57,597 It's one of my skills. Spotting tossers. 117 00:05:57,903 --> 00:05:59,703 Yeah, up on the heath. 118 00:06:00,352 --> 00:06:01,823 Bite me, Gollum! 119 00:06:03,303 --> 00:06:06,241 That night I had a date with Rosie, the old gypsy. 120 00:06:07,703 --> 00:06:09,343 She took me to see a play. 121 00:06:10,323 --> 00:06:13,947 I didn't have the heart to tell her I absolutely hated the theatre. 122 00:06:14,992 --> 00:06:16,872 - Ready? - Can't wait. 123 00:06:16,992 --> 00:06:19,543 Well, not until we've had sex, anyway. 124 00:06:20,977 --> 00:06:24,628 I don't get why theatre is always so boring. 125 00:06:34,390 --> 00:06:35,390 Sorry. 126 00:06:37,405 --> 00:06:39,215 Peter! How's it going? 127 00:06:40,054 --> 00:06:42,811 You good? Yeah... No, I'm watching a play. 128 00:06:43,352 --> 00:06:44,552 No, it's shit. 129 00:06:54,365 --> 00:06:56,394 - Do you want a nacho? - No, thank you. 130 00:07:06,331 --> 00:07:08,329 The male actor's just told the female actor 131 00:07:08,449 --> 00:07:10,529 he doesn't want to see her any more. 132 00:07:12,232 --> 00:07:13,922 She's started to cry. 133 00:07:15,992 --> 00:07:18,143 He's crying now, as well. 134 00:07:18,381 --> 00:07:19,631 Unconvincingly. 135 00:07:25,592 --> 00:07:26,592 Hold that. 136 00:07:28,658 --> 00:07:29,658 Because... 137 00:07:30,203 --> 00:07:31,935 they were my family. 138 00:07:33,271 --> 00:07:35,299 You know, I didn't think I'd enjoy 139 00:07:35,419 --> 00:07:38,903 a three-and-a-half-hour gritty drama about heroin addiction, but... 140 00:07:39,620 --> 00:07:40,983 well, it was fun. 141 00:07:41,143 --> 00:07:44,649 I'm not sure you should have shouted out during that actor's monologue, though. 142 00:07:44,943 --> 00:07:46,543 I thought he was talking to me. 143 00:07:48,253 --> 00:07:49,595 Oh, God! 144 00:07:50,632 --> 00:07:51,832 What happened? 145 00:07:52,952 --> 00:07:54,954 What happened?! 146 00:07:58,312 --> 00:08:00,543 You caught AIDS, remember? 147 00:08:02,623 --> 00:08:04,618 Who would forget something like that? 148 00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:09,779 Oh, God! 149 00:08:11,009 --> 00:08:12,283 What happened? 150 00:08:12,798 --> 00:08:14,348 He's forgotten again. 151 00:08:14,672 --> 00:08:16,482 AIDS! You got AIDS! 152 00:08:18,684 --> 00:08:20,143 Sorry if I embarrassed you. 153 00:08:20,303 --> 00:08:21,303 It's fine. 154 00:08:31,224 --> 00:08:32,118 So... 155 00:08:33,102 --> 00:08:34,743 you wanna {come in and }meet the twins? 156 00:08:36,378 --> 00:08:38,143 I would love to meet the twins. 157 00:08:38,792 --> 00:08:40,477 Now, I ought to explain something. 158 00:08:40,597 --> 00:08:43,521 Rosie has two sons. Yes. Two kids. 159 00:08:43,641 --> 00:08:44,783 So when she said... 160 00:08:44,943 --> 00:08:46,590 You wanna {come in and }meet the twins? 161 00:08:46,710 --> 00:08:48,583 ... she actually meant her twins. 162 00:08:48,869 --> 00:08:51,076 But I thought she meant her girlie bumps. 163 00:08:51,196 --> 00:08:52,971 I didn't know she had kids. 164 00:08:53,091 --> 00:08:54,750 I'm very proud of my boys. 165 00:08:54,870 --> 00:08:56,370 Well, you should be. 166 00:08:57,042 --> 00:08:58,623 They ought to be in bed, really. 167 00:08:58,783 --> 00:09:01,743 Would you object to me getting into bed with them? 168 00:09:01,903 --> 00:09:02,703 What? 169 00:09:03,529 --> 00:09:05,263 Sorry. Too soon? 170 00:09:08,951 --> 00:09:11,912 Now, remember, the slightly bigger one's called Gavin 171 00:09:12,032 --> 00:09:13,743 and the other one's called Ray. OK? 172 00:09:16,202 --> 00:09:18,839 OK. Not sure what's weirder. 173 00:09:18,959 --> 00:09:22,063 The fact that you've named them, or that they're different sizes. 174 00:09:22,223 --> 00:09:24,665 - They're not identical. - Really? 175 00:09:25,063 --> 00:09:27,223 No, one's got much darker hair than the other. 176 00:09:31,032 --> 00:09:32,032 Boys... 177 00:09:32,983 --> 00:09:33,943 this is Don. 178 00:09:37,672 --> 00:09:38,672 Twins. 179 00:09:41,719 --> 00:09:43,903 {I can tell }You're freaked out by the boys, aren't you? 180 00:09:44,112 --> 00:09:46,320 No. Well, you know... 181 00:09:46,648 --> 00:09:48,463 It's just a bit of a shock, that's all. 182 00:09:48,623 --> 00:09:50,343 I did try telling you about them. 183 00:09:50,503 --> 00:09:51,825 Really? When? 184 00:09:54,663 --> 00:09:57,022 I ought to tell you straight away, Don, 185 00:09:57,142 --> 00:09:58,952 I do come with some baggage. 186 00:09:59,262 --> 00:10:00,592 Hey, it's fine. 187 00:10:00,712 --> 00:10:02,059 Come here. Look... 188 00:10:02,730 --> 00:10:03,730 let me. 189 00:10:07,870 --> 00:10:09,952 I've got two young lads. 190 00:10:10,303 --> 00:10:11,592 - That's cool. - Yeah? 191 00:10:12,463 --> 00:10:14,819 I'm happy for us to see other people. 192 00:10:17,002 --> 00:10:19,920 That one's doing really well in physics at the moment. 193 00:10:20,823 --> 00:10:22,499 Your cats do physics? 194 00:10:23,217 --> 00:10:25,063 That is amazing! 195 00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:30,383 Are you sure you're not put off by my being a mother? 196 00:10:32,183 --> 00:10:34,607 Haven't you ever wanted to get with a MYLF? 197 00:10:40,023 --> 00:10:40,983 Come on. 198 00:10:41,225 --> 00:10:43,383 Let's say good night to the twins. 199 00:10:43,543 --> 00:10:45,583 As in, my actual sons. 200 00:10:46,375 --> 00:10:47,472 Right, yeah. 201 00:10:55,594 --> 00:10:57,023 - Hey you. - Nothing. 202 00:10:57,183 --> 00:10:59,597 You don't have to hide the fact that you're watching porn. 203 00:10:59,717 --> 00:11:02,183 - I'm not Abby. - I wasn't watching porn. 204 00:11:02,343 --> 00:11:05,623 No, no, no. Right, you're typing up a spreadsheet? 205 00:11:05,783 --> 00:11:08,034 I was watching a porncom, actually. 206 00:11:08,383 --> 00:11:09,303 A what? 207 00:11:09,463 --> 00:11:10,863 A porncom. Look... 208 00:11:11,793 --> 00:11:14,145 - You're a tool! - It's a porn sitcom. 209 00:11:14,394 --> 00:11:16,872 Hey! How about I use this tool? 210 00:11:19,728 --> 00:11:21,117 Oh, yeah, take that, bitch. 211 00:11:21,237 --> 00:11:24,072 Hey, how about you put your tool in my ass? 212 00:11:24,785 --> 00:11:26,522 What, is that canned laughter? 213 00:11:26,642 --> 00:11:29,383 No, no. They film it in front of a live studio audience. 214 00:11:29,543 --> 00:11:31,303 Do they? That's quite impressive. 215 00:11:31,981 --> 00:11:34,135 So, what are you doing up? 216 00:11:34,383 --> 00:11:35,712 I can't sleep. 217 00:11:35,832 --> 00:11:38,783 Been revising all night. I feel like my brain's stopped working. 218 00:11:39,519 --> 00:11:41,903 Hey, this is what it must feel like to be you! 219 00:11:42,806 --> 00:11:43,952 Very funny. 220 00:11:44,072 --> 00:11:45,622 So, Clint? 221 00:11:45,742 --> 00:11:46,903 The "friend". 222 00:11:47,063 --> 00:11:49,223 What bit of "friend" do you not understand? 223 00:11:49,558 --> 00:11:51,446 The "friend" bit. 224 00:11:51,897 --> 00:11:54,124 - He clearly fancies you. - Grow up. 225 00:11:54,244 --> 00:11:57,072 - Me grow up? Look who's talking. - What? 226 00:11:57,192 --> 00:12:00,183 You go to university. That's what young people do. 227 00:12:00,343 --> 00:12:01,663 You make no sense. 228 00:12:01,823 --> 00:12:03,383 I am the grown-up here. 229 00:12:03,503 --> 00:12:05,103 I'm dating this MILF, right. 230 00:12:05,223 --> 00:12:06,832 She's got two kids. 231 00:12:07,011 --> 00:12:10,335 - I'm basically a papa. - So you're gonna carry on seeing her? 232 00:12:10,783 --> 00:12:12,401 God, no! It's over. 233 00:12:12,521 --> 00:12:14,062 End credits. Two kids? 234 00:12:14,963 --> 00:12:15,823 Kaput. 235 00:12:15,983 --> 00:12:17,903 I hope you don't phrase it like that to her. 236 00:12:19,616 --> 00:12:22,183 Hey, maybe I should leave out the "kaput" bit? 237 00:12:22,392 --> 00:12:23,442 Good night. 238 00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:26,912 Right... 239 00:12:42,851 --> 00:12:44,367 I still miss Abby. 240 00:12:44,487 --> 00:12:46,683 When she lived here, she kept the room as it was, 241 00:12:46,803 --> 00:12:49,003 with all my nan's decor and stuff. 242 00:12:49,123 --> 00:12:50,642 I never asked her why. 243 00:12:52,300 --> 00:12:54,999 Sam, on the other hand, she's changed things. 244 00:13:00,389 --> 00:13:01,952 I dunno why I panicked. 245 00:13:02,303 --> 00:13:05,032 I didn't want Sam to find me sneaking about in her room. 246 00:13:05,393 --> 00:13:08,303 I know. Hiding in the cupboard - so cliched. 247 00:13:29,592 --> 00:13:30,583 Hello? 248 00:14:02,028 --> 00:14:02,863 Hello? 249 00:14:18,360 --> 00:14:19,360 All right? 250 00:14:25,672 --> 00:14:27,032 Sleepwalking. 251 00:14:31,360 --> 00:14:33,152 This isn't the ground floor. 252 00:14:38,492 --> 00:14:40,068 Ground floor. 253 00:14:43,206 --> 00:14:44,983 How did you get down those stairs so quick? 254 00:14:46,312 --> 00:14:48,423 So this is what it's like to be a shirt. 255 00:14:54,639 --> 00:14:56,992 Do you mind? I'm trying to take a shit. 256 00:15:07,516 --> 00:15:10,183 You won't tell Sam about this, will you? 257 00:15:11,512 --> 00:15:13,677 What you need to understand about me, Clint, 258 00:15:13,797 --> 00:15:15,382 is I'm someone you can trust. 259 00:15:15,725 --> 00:15:16,743 I can trust you? 260 00:15:17,324 --> 00:15:18,552 Did I say "can"? 261 00:15:18,672 --> 00:15:20,145 Sorry, I meant to say "can't". 262 00:15:20,265 --> 00:15:22,165 I'm someone you can't trust. 263 00:15:23,184 --> 00:15:24,063 Please! 264 00:15:24,651 --> 00:15:26,102 Don't tell her about this. 265 00:15:28,017 --> 00:15:29,703 - I'll think about it. - I would, 266 00:15:29,863 --> 00:15:32,165 If I were you. Cos maybe I'll tell her 267 00:15:32,285 --> 00:15:34,703 that I caught you hiding in her cupboard. 268 00:15:35,222 --> 00:15:36,303 I'll think about it. 269 00:15:38,584 --> 00:15:41,423 There was nothing to think about. I was telling Sam. 270 00:15:41,584 --> 00:15:44,862 Because A, I win my point about Clint fancying her, 271 00:15:44,982 --> 00:15:47,982 and B... Well, there's no B. It's just A. 272 00:15:49,260 --> 00:15:51,343 That night, I went over to Rosie's house 273 00:15:51,503 --> 00:15:54,663 to try and end it with her, but she'd invited some friends to join us. 274 00:15:55,869 --> 00:15:59,041 Don, how have you found things since the crunch? 275 00:16:01,524 --> 00:16:02,575 Since what, sorry? 276 00:16:03,023 --> 00:16:04,823 - The crunch. - The credit crunch? 277 00:16:06,564 --> 00:16:08,014 I've heard of that. 278 00:16:08,455 --> 00:16:11,515 Didn't really affect me. As long as there's money for sambuca. 279 00:16:11,635 --> 00:16:13,742 Right, Peter? Yeah! Right? Right? 280 00:16:15,983 --> 00:16:18,303 So, you didn't have any debts? 281 00:16:18,465 --> 00:16:19,845 Loans? Credit cards? 282 00:16:20,024 --> 00:16:22,983 Are you kidding me? I had loads, but I sorted it all. 283 00:16:23,103 --> 00:16:26,288 I saw this piece on This Morning, with Fern and Pip Schofield. 284 00:16:26,408 --> 00:16:27,943 Anyway, this guy was saying, 285 00:16:28,103 --> 00:16:30,847 "If you have any debts, just cut up your credit cards." 286 00:16:30,967 --> 00:16:32,897 So I did. Hey presto. 287 00:16:33,309 --> 00:16:34,622 No more debts. 288 00:16:39,787 --> 00:16:41,287 Right. Yeah, gotcha! 289 00:16:42,647 --> 00:16:44,891 Where did you find him? He's hilarious. 290 00:16:45,758 --> 00:16:47,263 It was so adult. 291 00:16:47,423 --> 00:16:49,783 And not in the good, sexy sense of the word. 292 00:16:50,222 --> 00:16:51,419 Will you excuse me? 293 00:16:51,539 --> 00:16:53,423 I really need to do a shit. 294 00:17:03,923 --> 00:17:05,043 What's the joke? 295 00:17:05,163 --> 00:17:06,949 You should see this clip on YouTube, 296 00:17:07,069 --> 00:17:08,858 - it's wicked! - What is it? 297 00:17:08,978 --> 00:17:11,543 It's a man being killed by electric chair. 298 00:17:12,477 --> 00:17:13,903 It's well cool, look. 299 00:17:17,712 --> 00:17:18,712 Jesus! 300 00:17:19,177 --> 00:17:20,483 That is the shit! 301 00:17:21,258 --> 00:17:24,662 Here, look, I'll show you something. This is well cool. 302 00:17:24,823 --> 00:17:26,381 I mean, say what you like about him, 303 00:17:26,501 --> 00:17:28,986 but you should see Morgan, he's got a massive... 304 00:17:29,343 --> 00:17:31,608 - Would you excuse me a second? - Sure. 305 00:17:33,704 --> 00:17:35,942 So, Morgan, he's got a massive... 306 00:17:38,538 --> 00:17:39,788 That's rubbish. 307 00:17:39,908 --> 00:17:41,121 Doesn't anyone die? 308 00:17:41,241 --> 00:17:43,268 No, it's a comedy. 309 00:17:43,388 --> 00:17:44,680 Put your tool in my ass! 310 00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:47,044 Have you seen the clip with the woman singing karaoke? 311 00:17:47,164 --> 00:17:48,463 What's so great about that? 312 00:17:48,624 --> 00:17:50,383 There's a midget pulling all her teeth out 313 00:17:50,543 --> 00:17:51,599 while she sings. 314 00:17:51,719 --> 00:17:53,116 That sounds wicked. 315 00:17:57,776 --> 00:18:00,183 - Come on. Bedtime, don't you think? - Really? 316 00:18:00,363 --> 00:18:02,576 Well, I normally stay up until at least 12. 317 00:18:02,863 --> 00:18:04,423 I was talking to the boys. 318 00:18:06,842 --> 00:18:08,432 Come on. Bedtime, boys. 319 00:18:08,904 --> 00:18:11,712 - Night. - Night, Mum. Night, Don. 320 00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:13,400 Whatever! 321 00:18:16,120 --> 00:18:17,873 I really appreciate that. 322 00:18:18,174 --> 00:18:19,663 - What? - You. 323 00:18:19,823 --> 00:18:21,423 Making an effort with the boys. 324 00:18:22,434 --> 00:18:23,984 It means a lot to me. 325 00:18:24,370 --> 00:18:26,383 I wanted to tell her I wasn't up for this, 326 00:18:26,686 --> 00:18:28,191 but she made it so difficult. 327 00:18:28,311 --> 00:18:29,991 You know, I've gotta be honest. 328 00:18:30,111 --> 00:18:32,626 I didn't think you'd stick around once you'd found out about them. 329 00:18:32,746 --> 00:18:35,461 Hey, course I'm sticking around. 330 00:18:35,999 --> 00:18:38,943 I was already a bit paranoid you thought I was too old for you. 331 00:18:39,493 --> 00:18:40,343 Too old? 332 00:18:40,586 --> 00:18:41,836 Don't be silly. 333 00:18:42,498 --> 00:18:45,428 Damn, it was like she was reading my thoughts aloud. 334 00:18:45,548 --> 00:18:46,423 Come on. 335 00:18:46,672 --> 00:18:48,263 Let's go back downstairs. 336 00:18:48,940 --> 00:18:52,027 See? I was just thinking we should go back downstairs. 337 00:18:59,829 --> 00:19:01,070 There we go. 338 00:19:01,583 --> 00:19:03,743 I can't believe she makes you take her to the toilet. 339 00:19:04,370 --> 00:19:07,343 I'd rather that than she wet herself. Anyway, I take you to the toilet. 340 00:19:08,284 --> 00:19:09,623 I don't think so. 341 00:19:10,592 --> 00:19:13,399 You probably wouldn't remember, it's normally when you're drunk. 342 00:19:14,464 --> 00:19:16,423 What exactly is wrong with you, anyway? 343 00:19:16,583 --> 00:19:18,663 My husband's dead. Remember? 344 00:19:18,823 --> 00:19:20,976 And that means you can't walk because...? 345 00:19:21,096 --> 00:19:23,137 When people go through something as traumatic 346 00:19:23,257 --> 00:19:25,783 as the loss of a loved one, the stress alone 347 00:19:25,943 --> 00:19:27,543 can have profound physical effects. 348 00:19:30,009 --> 00:19:31,559 Excuse me, Eddipedia. 349 00:19:34,905 --> 00:19:36,753 Sam. Can I have word? 350 00:19:36,873 --> 00:19:37,743 Sure, what? 351 00:19:38,074 --> 00:19:39,543 In private? 352 00:19:41,637 --> 00:19:42,987 I'll be upstairs. 353 00:19:47,818 --> 00:19:49,982 Did you give him keys to the house yesterday? 354 00:19:52,143 --> 00:19:54,663 What? Sorry. He offered to rush back and grab me some books. 355 00:19:55,189 --> 00:19:57,663 Why? Did he catch you masturbating? 356 00:19:58,771 --> 00:20:02,023 Actually, no. But it's funny you should say that, because I saw him... 357 00:20:02,183 --> 00:20:05,194 If it's this "he's in love with me" nonsense again, 358 00:20:05,314 --> 00:20:08,303 - I'd really rather you didn't. - No, but I actually saw him... 359 00:20:08,464 --> 00:20:11,062 What is it with you? Just because you don't have any female friends. 360 00:20:11,224 --> 00:20:13,822 - I have loads, thank you very much. - Name me one. 361 00:20:15,590 --> 00:20:18,074 - Abby. - The girl you're secretly in love with 362 00:20:18,194 --> 00:20:20,669 who is now on the other side of the planet? 363 00:20:21,133 --> 00:20:22,383 OK, fair point. 364 00:20:25,975 --> 00:20:26,823 You. 365 00:20:28,299 --> 00:20:30,263 - Me? - Yes, you. 366 00:20:31,695 --> 00:20:32,583 You see? 367 00:20:32,743 --> 00:20:35,622 If you say you're not my friend, that would be cruel, which you're not. 368 00:20:35,742 --> 00:20:38,943 And if you say you are, then I win. 369 00:20:39,978 --> 00:20:42,915 Unless, of course, you secretly fancy me 370 00:20:43,035 --> 00:20:45,143 or I secretly fancy you, that is. 371 00:20:46,363 --> 00:20:47,183 As if! 372 00:20:47,343 --> 00:20:48,393 Ridiculous! 373 00:20:48,997 --> 00:20:51,768 Look, Don, can you please stop going on about it? 374 00:20:51,888 --> 00:20:53,768 I couldn't bring myself to tell her. 375 00:20:53,888 --> 00:20:56,703 You could say I was being nice, but I was being a coward. 376 00:20:59,472 --> 00:21:00,343 Thank you. 377 00:21:00,778 --> 00:21:02,383 And then, there was this one time 378 00:21:02,543 --> 00:21:04,703 when he was so drunk, not only did he wet himself, 379 00:21:05,265 --> 00:21:07,743 but he defecated all the way up his back. 380 00:21:08,518 --> 00:21:09,623 It was hideous! 381 00:21:09,784 --> 00:21:11,663 What are you talking about? 382 00:21:12,462 --> 00:21:14,423 Dot was just telling me 383 00:21:14,583 --> 00:21:18,543 - a story about her beloved husband. - But you were the one talking. 384 00:21:26,223 --> 00:21:28,359 So, how's it going with that older gypsy woman? 385 00:21:28,479 --> 00:21:29,463 Still courting? 386 00:21:30,742 --> 00:21:31,942 It's not good. 387 00:21:33,263 --> 00:21:36,002 She's nice and all that. And the sexy boom-boom is great. 388 00:21:36,122 --> 00:21:38,623 The older you get, the better the sex is. 389 00:21:40,064 --> 00:21:42,125 I don't wanna hear that from you. 390 00:21:42,245 --> 00:21:44,622 Great! Now I've got an image of you in my mind. 391 00:21:44,784 --> 00:21:45,838 Am I on top? 392 00:21:45,958 --> 00:21:48,462 If not, it isn't me you've got in your mind. 393 00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:51,870 I can't handle this any more. 394 00:21:55,060 --> 00:21:58,143 - What am I gonna do about her? - I could give her a {*couple of extra }Valium. 395 00:21:58,303 --> 00:22:00,137 - That normally quietens her. - What? 396 00:22:00,543 --> 00:22:02,583 Not her! Rosie. The gypsy. 397 00:22:03,061 --> 00:22:05,065 I need to end it. But what am I gonna say to her? 398 00:22:05,185 --> 00:22:08,035 "You're too ancient"? I mean, that's horrible. 399 00:22:08,559 --> 00:22:10,303 I'm gonna have to think of another reason. 400 00:22:11,698 --> 00:22:13,462 {I think }You're finally growing as a person. 401 00:22:13,624 --> 00:22:15,265 - You hippy! - No, I mean it. 402 00:22:15,703 --> 00:22:18,103 You're definitely becoming more... well, mature. 403 00:22:18,263 --> 00:22:21,103 Why don't you eat shit, Eddie? I don't wanna be mature. 404 00:22:21,263 --> 00:22:23,974 Not if it means dinner parties and talking about the credit crunch. 405 00:22:24,094 --> 00:22:25,023 Je-sus! 406 00:22:25,316 --> 00:22:27,931 - So, what are you gonna do, then? - I dunno. 407 00:22:28,051 --> 00:22:29,947 But I'm gonna have to think with my balls. 408 00:22:31,423 --> 00:22:33,902 I need to do some more toilet. 409 00:22:34,601 --> 00:22:36,377 In a minute, Dot. 410 00:22:37,015 --> 00:22:39,303 Honestly, sometimes it feels like she and I are a couple. 411 00:22:42,882 --> 00:22:44,063 Clever balls, Eddie. 412 00:22:56,159 --> 00:22:57,589 OK, she's spotted us. 413 00:22:59,140 --> 00:23:01,632 All right! We're acting, remember? Acting. 414 00:23:02,455 --> 00:23:03,783 OK, here she comes. 415 00:23:04,708 --> 00:23:05,543 All right! 416 00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:13,183 - Shit. You've caught me. - What? 417 00:23:13,514 --> 00:23:14,703 What do you mean? 418 00:23:14,863 --> 00:23:16,389 OK, I admit it. 419 00:23:16,601 --> 00:23:18,143 Yeah. I've been seeing someone else. 420 00:23:18,464 --> 00:23:20,063 Sorry, caught you doing what? 421 00:23:20,224 --> 00:23:22,769 Is this that slut you told me about? 422 00:23:22,889 --> 00:23:25,570 Yeah, all right, Mrs Treacher... I mean, darling. 423 00:23:26,623 --> 00:23:28,143 What, you mean, you and her? 424 00:23:28,304 --> 00:23:29,976 What so funny about that? 425 00:23:30,096 --> 00:23:31,601 Yeah, me and her. 426 00:23:31,721 --> 00:23:32,871 We've been... 427 00:23:32,991 --> 00:23:33,863 lovers 428 00:23:34,023 --> 00:23:35,235 for a while now. 429 00:23:35,971 --> 00:23:38,435 Look... I should've said something. 430 00:23:38,555 --> 00:23:39,383 I'm sorry. 431 00:23:39,785 --> 00:23:42,042 I just couldn't bring myself to say... 432 00:23:42,162 --> 00:23:43,502 well, that you're just too... 433 00:23:43,663 --> 00:23:45,462 What? I'm just too what? 434 00:23:45,847 --> 00:23:46,663 Young. 435 00:23:47,038 --> 00:23:48,338 I like them old. 436 00:23:48,663 --> 00:23:49,857 I know. It's weird. 437 00:23:49,977 --> 00:23:53,017 Some people think it's disgusting. But it's just my thing. 438 00:23:53,350 --> 00:23:54,903 You don't need a wheelchair 439 00:23:55,399 --> 00:23:58,143 or someone to wipe your bum after you've been to the toilet. 440 00:23:58,792 --> 00:24:01,063 That's the sort of thing that gets me going. 441 00:24:05,353 --> 00:24:06,483 What can I say? 442 00:24:06,603 --> 00:24:08,486 I'm just a sucker for the wrinkles. 443 00:24:08,606 --> 00:24:10,797 Look at her. She's just a child. 444 00:24:10,917 --> 00:24:12,487 You filthy paedo! 445 00:24:12,607 --> 00:24:14,112 Shush your mouth, Mrs T... 446 00:24:14,232 --> 00:24:15,303 I mean, babe. 447 00:24:20,255 --> 00:24:23,051 - What are you doing? - I'm putting this on YouTube. 448 00:24:23,171 --> 00:24:24,171 It's sick. 449 00:24:25,703 --> 00:24:27,312 It worked a treat. 450 00:24:27,745 --> 00:24:30,205 Actually, it didn't. But Rosie was so offended 451 00:24:30,325 --> 00:24:31,989 by how far I'd gone with the lie, 452 00:24:32,109 --> 00:24:34,343 she said she never wanted to see me again. 453 00:24:34,503 --> 00:24:35,863 So it sort of worked. 454 00:24:36,696 --> 00:24:37,903 It was weird. 455 00:24:38,949 --> 00:24:41,910 The first thing I wanted to do was tell Sam what had happened. 456 00:24:42,332 --> 00:24:45,361 I knew she'd piss herself laughing at the whole escapade. 457 00:24:50,792 --> 00:24:51,792 Oh, God. 458 00:24:54,641 --> 00:24:57,223 I couldn't believe I was doing this again. 459 00:24:57,535 --> 00:24:58,985 All right, come on. 460 00:25:00,425 --> 00:25:01,625 Come on, then. 461 00:25:02,255 --> 00:25:03,255 All right? 462 00:25:06,011 --> 00:25:08,343 - I'm so sorry. - No, it's all right. 463 00:25:26,848 --> 00:25:28,545 Don't... you... 464 00:25:29,133 --> 00:25:29,943 dare. 465 00:25:33,303 --> 00:25:34,183 Maybe. 466 00:25:35,501 --> 00:25:36,982 Jesus, do you live in there? 467 00:25:37,143 --> 00:25:39,343 You are one sick pervert. 468 00:25:39,875 --> 00:25:42,182 I'm not the one who hides in cupboards. 469 00:25:42,344 --> 00:25:44,258 Yeah, granted. This doesn't look good. 470 00:25:44,378 --> 00:25:46,222 I saw what you were about to do. 471 00:25:46,384 --> 00:25:49,179 I wasn't gonna do anything. I was just... 472 00:25:50,128 --> 00:25:51,128 looking. 473 00:25:52,193 --> 00:25:53,302 I love her! 474 00:25:53,464 --> 00:25:54,943 Just get out, Clint. 475 00:25:55,104 --> 00:25:57,031 I'll tell her about your cupboard fetish. 476 00:25:57,151 --> 00:25:59,139 Fine. She already has a low opinion of me, 477 00:25:59,259 --> 00:26:00,863 so I've got nothing to lose. 478 00:26:01,068 --> 00:26:03,783 Go on, get out. And I want you to stop hanging around her. 479 00:26:03,943 --> 00:26:05,503 Otherwise I'll tell her everything. 480 00:26:06,881 --> 00:26:09,681 Now go on, get lost, you creepy student. 481 00:26:54,456 --> 00:26:55,623 I feel rough. 482 00:26:55,783 --> 00:26:57,822 My face looks like shoes. 483 00:26:57,984 --> 00:27:00,149 Did you get... hammered last night? 484 00:27:00,863 --> 00:27:03,063 We were celebrating getting our papers in on time. 485 00:27:03,224 --> 00:27:05,022 - Morning! - Morning, Don. 486 00:27:05,184 --> 00:27:07,423 - You all right, Mrs T? - Yes! 487 00:27:08,544 --> 00:27:10,544 That was a message from Clint. 488 00:27:10,788 --> 00:27:13,063 He says he can't hang out with me any more. 489 00:27:13,475 --> 00:27:14,856 Oh, really? 490 00:27:14,976 --> 00:27:18,583 Yeah, he's started seeing some girl and she's not comfortable with him 491 00:27:18,743 --> 00:27:21,179 having female friends. What an idiot! 492 00:27:24,703 --> 00:27:25,903 So you see, Don? 493 00:27:26,341 --> 00:27:27,303 I was right. 494 00:27:27,980 --> 00:27:30,984 - What are you blabbering on about? - Well, he wasn't interested in me. 495 00:27:31,104 --> 00:27:32,824 He's seeing someone else. 496 00:27:33,140 --> 00:27:33,943 Told you. 497 00:27:36,663 --> 00:27:37,663 All right? 498 00:27:42,028 --> 00:27:44,103 I'll be at home tonight. 499 00:27:44,421 --> 00:27:46,263 With not many clothes on. 500 00:27:46,734 --> 00:27:48,703 Needing to be taken to the toilet... 501 00:27:50,744 --> 00:27:52,662 if you know what I mean. 502 00:27:58,303 --> 00:28:00,463 www.sous-titres.eu 503 00:28:00,513 --> 00:28:05,063 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 36164

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